01x10 - Shitstorm

[bunniefuu]

[rain falling]

[thunder rumbles]

[grunting and yelping]

Go home? Because of some rain?

Someone needs to die
for that dumb f*ck' idea, Pete.

- And I don't care who.
- I'm telling you, Petra.

This is gonna be
a category four hurricane.

I've run the numbers.

Numbers? What the f*ck are
you talking about, f*ck' numbers?

There are numbers. They've been run.

Ooh, those numbers are ugly.
Wow, yeah, I'm with Pete on this one.

Uh, I don't need you,
of all people, "with me."

He's agreeing with you, you dookie-head.

- [thunder rumbling]
- Well, anyways, long story short,

I puked so hard,
I could taste my own sweet butthole.

- No kidding.
- That's a hard puke.

Sounds like
the last time I was knocked up.

Exactly.

God, I had morning sickness
and the gestational diabetes.

- Gil remembers.
- Absolutely! Sympathy diabetes.

Ha! No, no, no, I'm not pregnant.
I couldn't be.

- Could I?
- [lightning cracks]

Okay. [grunts]

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[chuckling] Oh, my God.

- ["Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe playing]
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪

♪ That's just the way you make me feel
That's just the way you make me feel ♪

♪ So real, so good, so f*ck' real
So real, so good, so f*ck' real ♪

♪ That's just the way you make me feel
That's just the way you make me feel ♪

♪ It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender ♪

♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪

♪ Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better ♪

♪ There's nothin' better ♪

♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪

[anxiously] Wow!
Eleven miles over the speed limit, Becs.

I thought we agreed our window was ten.

Ugh, I know that, Barry, but I'm trying
to get us out of this frickin' hurricane.

Please can I floor it
just to piss him off?

No, because, remember, we love him!
He's just trying to keep us safe.

Okay, you're right, Barry.

- I'll slow down.
- [lightning cracks]

- Ahh!
- [Barry] Oh, God!

Oh, God, it's The Perfect Storm!

- Mark my Wahlberg, we're all gonna die!
- [all screaming]

- Hold on, Jakey.
- Oh, my God, slow down!

[Becca] I'm trying!

[Tito] The brakes are dead and so are we!

[Becca shrieks]

- [crying loudly]
- Oh, my God! f*ck!

He's okay. Are you okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I think so.

Wow, that car is aggressively purple.

[hysterical] My Suns-mobile!
What have you done to my baby?

Oh, my God, it's ruined.
Doug, fall to your knees in the rain.

[yelling] Please, God, take me instead!

[sobbing] Take him!

Ahh!

- Oh, come on!
- Important documents?

Mmm, not really.

Low-priority documents?

What's going on with you?
Why you smiling like that?

Oh, no reason.

You're pregnant.

- Yes!
- Is it mine?

Of course it's yours. It's ours.
Connie, I thought you'd be...

On the phone with
the Inbox Zero ab*rtion Clinic by now?

Yeah, I'd have thought that too.
How the sh*t did this happen?

You know exactly and fornicationally
how this happened.

No. I don't. We use protection
when we poon, do we not?

Well, yes, as a practice, we say,

"No baby, no baby, no baby,"

silently to ourself whilst cumming.

Which, via science,

prevents fertilization in our
respective unisex wombs we both have.

Obviously. This is basic
hormone monster biology, Connie.

Don't waste time on stuff
everyone already knows.

Maury, I know I said,
"No baby, no baby, no baby," every time.

Reason? 'Cause we don't want
a g*dd*mn baby!

Well, I said it too. But I... I don't know.
Maybe I didn't mean it.

Are you saying you want this preg?

Well, now that it's here growing
little hooves and horns in my tummy...

- Yes.
- What?

- Don't you?
- No!

Okay, so what I'm hearing

is you need a few minutes
to wrap your head around this,

and then you'll be all in, right?

- [thunder booms]
- Ahh!

[dramatic music plays]

[shrieks]

[power shutting down]

Jesus f*cking Christ. Todd!

Okay, power's out, generator's failed,

portals to Earth are down.

[all clamoring nervously]

Oh, my God, what are we gonna f*cking do?

All right, relax. I am working on it.

And watch your language.

Oh, man, I wish you and I hadn't been so
smart and correct about that storm, Pete.

Oh, blimey! We need those portals back up!

Well, our humans can live without us
for a few minutes.

You don't get it.

Rochelle's still on Earth, and now
she's stuck down there without me!

Well, Rochelle's a smart, grown woman, so...

[scoffs] Weird to worry.

Of course I'm worried, buddy.
She's my girlfriend.

She may be your girlfriend,
but I am not your buddy!

Okay. Okay, just relax there, big guy.

All right, all... Whoa!

[chuckling] I'll be stuffed, mate,
your pecs are incredible.

Thanks, just stop touching them.

Again, I'm... I'm so sorry.

- We've never been more sorry.
- We'll cover everything.

[hysterical] The Suns wrap
covered everything!

Bumper, mirror housings,
mud flaps, rear-end enders.

Now look at it!

Oh, sh*t, it's you?

Emmy? What the f*ck are you doing here?

- [lightning cracks]
- Oh, sh*t, that was close.

Come on, everybody, let's get inside,
for Christ's sake!

Hold up, we're just letting
these people into your home

after they destroyed your opus?

[angrily] And my car! You're right!

Uh, maybe let's just swap info out here,

then you guys
can actually just get lost or whatever?

- Doug!
- What?

Just so you know, I don't wanna be here.

Well, I don't want you here either,
so I guess we found some common ground.

Ugh, slurp my a*s.

Huh. Nope. Not gonna work.

- [all groaning]
- What? No, no, no, it has to work!

I have to work!

Houses are being destroyed down there,

and my clients have insurance claims
to f*cking reject!

Must you, with the profanity?

I think what Petra means is,

not having the blooming portals
is a just a very bonked-up situation.

Civility appreciated.

- Of course.
- [Pete] Ugh.

I will go reset the main surge protector.

Oh, my God, it's so rainy, I can't see.

Oh! Oh! There he is!
He's waving. Hi, Todd.

[all exclaiming]

- [groans]
- Oh, my God, he's alive!

Look, he's waving again.

- Oh, thank God.
- Good job, Todd!

- [lightning cracks]
- [all exclaiming]

- [ominous music plays]
- [wind gusts]

[all gasping]

- That's gross.
- Oh, my God!

I know, Todd's dead like a doornail.

No, not that. Something much worse.

- The fridge, Gil!
- [suspenseful music playing]

Without power, all the food
in the break room will get yucky.

Unless, of course, someone eats it first.

- [triumphant music playing]
- And someone's best friend helps.

- [repeating] Down and up.
- [repeating] Shake, squeeze, tickle.

[both] And butt sticks out
for two minutes.

- Ah, we better cut this short.
- Yeah, before the food spoils, let's go.

Are the portals back yet?!
The Cuomo brothers need me.

They're doing naked judo
with each other in their basement

and it's about to escalate!

We all have clients to get to,
Gavin, all right?

Hey, someone else has to go reset
the doohickey thingy!

Maybe Todd has a son we could call?

What an ugly
bunch of puss you all are. I'll go.

Do you even know where
the Department of Energy is?

Or how to access the main surge protector?

Nope, but it sounds like you do.

- You're coming with me!
- [sighs]

- We need your brains.
- Yeah, you probably do.

And you'll need my dicks.

- Oh, God.
- And my a*s.

And my f*cking raw-dog tenacity.

Plus, I'll get my steps in.
Keep the hiney tight.

Oh, I know I said "a*s," but I wanna
change mine to "pizzazz."

[clears throat] And my pizzazz!

Oh, hello, it seems you're forming
a fellowship for a noble quest?

Well, you can't have one of those
without a wizard, now, can you?

I mean, we could.

Oh, come on, pretty, pretty please?
I want to be included!

Okay, fine! Jesus, you shame b*tch.

- Yes!
- You're in!

Hey, I'm in, too! Wait for me! Connie!

Whoa, whoa, no, no, no.
You can't put yourself in danger, not now.

Okay, this right here?
This is why I don't want that.

Connie, I don't like these jokes.
Baby can hear.

Oh, really? Hey, you! I don't want you!

- [sobbing]
- Oh, Maury, come on.

Come back?

Definitely don't run too fast,
and trip and fall down some stairs.

[sighs]

Don't worry, we'll get you a rental
while your car's getting fixed.

- [scoffs]
- You know what,

I bet those jealous creeps
smashed your car on purpose.

"On purpose"? Who would do that?

Haters, Doug! Haters!

People who can't stand
you having good things in your life.

Oh, my God, you're right!

So, you two collect art?

That's a string cheese wrapper
Charles Barkley left in Dougie's car once.

- We had it bronzed.
- Oh! So, not art.

You would hate
Charles's cheese, you hater!

Why not plow your car into that?

Jesus, Doug, what's gotten into you?

Oh, my God. f*ck these people.

Ugh! I know, right? He's so unreasonable.

But the thing is, I don't have to be stuck
with them, so, peace!

- [thud]
- Hey, what the hell?

[all scream]

[Doug] Take cover!

[mosquitos] Window breach!

- [triumphant music playing]
- Let's do this!

- [wind gusting]
- Ahh!

- Oh! There she goes.
- [Petra] f*ck me!

Yeah, this is more like it! Onward!

[whooping] Yes!

[Lionel yelping] Look out!

Stand your ground, wuss.
Stop getting cucked by the wind.

Better to be a living cuck
than a dead hero.

I'm just gonna go back.

You talk like a book! Shut the f*ck up!

Hey! Oh! Hey, you got me skin!

Hold up, I gotta take a whiz.

Holy freaking guac!

- Aw, sh*t, got wee in my face! f*ck!
- [Pete] Dante, watch out!

[Dante] Oh, sh*t! Ow!

- f*ck! Ahh!
- [Pete] Uh...

[anxiously] Pete, mate, you gotta help!
One of my dicks is stuck!

Your p*nis got pinned by a statue? Uh...

How big is your p*nis?

[hysterical] Big! Huge!
It's the lower-right one.

It's my very best p*nis!
It's thicker than the middle one,

it's longer than Lefty. I love it!

Hey, guys, wait! Man down!

- [yelling] Pete! Don't go! Please!
- [sighs]

I'm coming.
Just hold on to your big dicks.

Sweet Lord, Joe, there's so much food.
We'll never save it all.

But we have to try, God damn it!

Eh, you're right. Dairy first?

Dairy first.

Maury, come on.

Leave us alone. No, wait.
Apologize first and then leave.

How about you apologize for making me
miss out on that cool adventure squad?

I would've been the hot one.

That means something to me, Maury.

Does your own child mean something to you?

- No. Again, no.
- [water flowing]

Uh-oh. Maury, is the bathroom flooding?

[distressed] Yes. And I'd rather sit in
sewage than see your face ever again.

Unless the baby looks like you,
which I would adore.

This is stupid, get out of there.

- Oh, f*ck you.
- [pipes bursting]

No, yeah.
Yeah, actually, I'm gonna come out.

- [clanks]
- [gasps] Oh, goodness! Oh, me, oh, my!

What is it? Big cramp?

No, I broke the door, I'm trapped!

Uh, don't worry.
I'll bust you outta there somehow.

[gasps] Todd has the keys!

You've gotta get Todd's keys.

He has the keys.

Ooh, I'll go find 'em on his dead corpse.
Just hang on, okay?

- Oh, don't worry, baby, Mommy will...
- Take that f*ck' back.

- [sighs] Connie will save us.
- All right, then.

Mommy's gonna save us.
Your mommy's name is Connie.

Mommy is Connie, Connie's your Mommy,
Connie-Mommy.

- [dramatic music playing]
- Hey, guys, this is it!

The thingy's in there!

[Gavin] Come on!

[grunting] Fist! Fist, fist!

Pete, is there another entrance we could...
Wait, where's Pete? Where's Dante?

Who cares? All that matters is we
get inside, where it's warm and safe!

- Well, we can't get in this way.
- [Gavin] Come on!

Gavin tried, and he's the strongest one.

I don't know, Walter.
No one's stronger than... Hateworm.

- You know what I'm saying?
- Oh, folks, that's not a good idea.

What's that, thunder thighs?

Motherfu...

Okay, I see what you're doing,

but I'm not
turning into a Hateworm today.

You sure, you Pez-headed f*ck?

Mmm! Nope! It's not gonna work.

Okay, I got it. I got it.

Mariah Carey's high G is a crutch.

[menacingly] A crutch?

[growling]

How dare you?

Don't say a word to me about Mariah!

She's the only good thing
about QVC or America.

- [yelling]
- [all cheering]

[Petra] All right, Walter!
Come on, let's go!

I'm not going anywhere with you people!

I hope the writers k*ll you all off!

Next season, new cast!
I don't give a f*ck.

- [Lionel] Oh, look at that.
- [crackling]

You're welcome, baby. Here we go!

[straining]

You can do it, mate!
Just use those Stonehenge quads of yours.

I'm sorry. It's too heavy.
And you're losing blood.

Oh, sh*t, I'm a bit woozy.
Should I go towards that light?

- Is that a good idea?
- Uh...

Dante, it brings me
barely any joy to say this,

but, uh, I'm gonna
have to amputate your p*nis.

- [laughs nervously]
- What? Lose my manhood? I'd rather die.

Well, you know, those are the two choices.

I'll take my chances.

Look, your chances of surviving
with no blood in your body are very low.

I'm trying to be a good guy, so, please,
just let me cut your d*ck off!

[sucking air between teeth]

- Okay, make it quick!
- I'll try.

[tense music playing]

Okay, here it comes.

Ahh!

I know, I know.

- [yelling] The knife's serrated?
- I can't imagine this feels good.

[sobbing] Why?

It's all I had. Sorry.

[sobbing] Ahh! Cut away from this already!
There must be other stories!

[Gil gulps and groans]

That's the last of the dairy.
I think I gotta tap out, Joe.

Let's just leave the salads.

Who are you to decide
which food gets left behind?

- We have orders!
- We do? From who?

From God, Gil. And she hates food waste.

You're right! You're always f*cking right!
Hand me that Niçoise.

Just take a handful of fish.

I'm going medieval on this dirty tuna.

That's not gonna work.
You gotta board it up.

- Oh, really? No doy!
- [baby crying]

Do something! Board up that window
before a wind tunnel forms!

- [exclaims]
- [baby shrieking]

Oh, no!

- Are you f*cking serious?
- What do you want from me?

I can't think with your damn kid
shrieking like that!

Maybe you can't think
because you're a dumbass.

Hey, rich-t*ts,
don't call my husband dumb.

Your girl better watch it.

Oh, your dude better watch it.

- [all shriek]
- [Rochelle] Jesus f*cking Christ!

The wind tunnel! It's gonna k*ll us all!

This is all Doug's fault.

- If that tacky moron...
- Tacky?

...knew how to board up a window...

You're tacky!
Becca's a girl-bossy stuck-up...

- Ahh!
- [Tito] It's happening!

b*tch! I was gonna call her a b*tch!

Todd? Todd's bod?

Where are you?

Ugh.

Hey, Todd. Got your keys there, cutie?

Just gonna flip you over real quick.

- Ahh!
- Keys are with the legs.

Helpful, thanks! And sorry about Todd!

[dramatic music playing]

Come on.

No lightning, no lightning, no lightning.

Ah!

Ooh!

[grunting]

God damn, Connie.

You are the hot one.

[Lionel] Oh, dear.

- [Gavin panting]
- Hey, Greasy! Hey, Ghostly! Here it is!

- [booming]
- Whoa! f*ck me!

[coughs] It's okay. Go on without me.

Well, yeah, obviously.
I mean, you know, we're not that close.

- I did f*ck her once.
- All right.

[blowing]

Ooh! Ooh!

Well, there's no
extinguishing this, is there?

- I'm afraid we must turn back.
- You wish, you Great British jerkoff.

- I'm gettin' us out there!
- But, but, but how?

With my big ol' firehose d*ck!

[loud thud]

Oh, right. Well, you've described it
that way before, but I...

Yeah, people think
it's a figure of speech.

- Well, I certainly did.
- It's not!

I f*cking hate language! Now stand back!

- [triumphant music playing]
- [Gavin] Ow! Ow! Ow!

- f*ck! Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Oh, poor thing. It hurts, does it?

Every time.

- Look! There's an opening, go, now!
- [nervously] No.

- Go, go, go, you floating nothing!
- [whimpering]

Ahh! The fire! The piss!
The fire and the piss!

- [screaming]
- Oh, my. Anything I can do?

- The fire! The piss!
- Just say.

- [groaning]
- Oh, my.

[Rochelle yelps]

- Rochelle? Are you okay?
- I'm fine!

Ahh!

When this is all over, I'm gonna go
to your house and mess it up so bad.

How you gonna get there?
Your shitty car is totaled.

- [Doug] Ahh!
- Can you believe this idiot?

Huh? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he... he sucks. He's bad, and...

You know what? I... I gotta go. [grunts]

- Maury? Maury! Maury, you alive in there?
- [Maury groans]

We are alive.
Baby and me, thank you, but hurry!

[inhales deeply]

- [Dante] Ahh!
- One last stringy part.

- [slashing]
- [Pete] Got it!

[sighs] Give me my donger,
I wanna hold it.

- Okay.
- You'll always be my favorite, you.

[sobbing] I'm so sorry.

- [sniffles] They can reattach him, right?
- Maybe?

- [gasps] No!
- Maybe not.

My sweet pee-pee! Come back!

- [Pete] Oh, no! Dante.
- Come back!

Just let it go!

[gulps and gags]

It's too much ham.
I can't, Joe, I'm gonna puke.

- No! No, Gil.
- I feel it coming up.

If you puke from that ham, then ham
will be a food that makes you puke.

Forever. And I am not gonna let
my best friend lose ham, okay?

- [Rochelle] What are you doing?
- Helping you! You're welcome.

I don't need your help!

Not that one. That's not it.
Hang on, Maury.

There's, like, a million keys on here
and they're all covered in Todd's guts.

[grunting]

[chuckling] Poopy.

It's gone, Dante. Just leave it.

And I would if it were my bottom left
or even upper right,

but it's my bottom right, man.

You have three dongs, but only one life.
And you have Rochelle.

You should be fighting
to see her again. So, let's go.

- Rochelle?
- Yeah, she's amazing.

And I'd sacrifice
a thousand dicks for her.

But if that thing's
more important to you than she is,

then you deserve to lose both.

You're right. I'm an idiot.

I f*cking love her, Pete,
I love her so much!

Then take my hand.

[both struggling]

Emmy, don't!

Shut up and take my hand!

No dead guy, no dead guy,
no dead guy. Yes!

- [gasping]
- You're alive! Take my hand.

Bite it, Gil. Bite it and swallow it.

I can't, Joe! Take my ham.

[gasps]

Okay, now fly down.

I can't!

I found boards!
Dougie, where's the hammer?

Oh, God, where'd I put the toolbox?

Come on!

Becca, dude,
enough with the petty bullshit.

Just grow the f*ck up and help.

You're right.

I just need something hard and metal.

Oh, sh*t. Doug, what about that
Charles Barkley garbage statue you made?

I know, what about it, right?

Here! You can use it as a hammer.

[gasps] Genius.

Is there anything
Charles Barkley can't do?

- Doug, hurry up!
- [triumphant music playing]

- Holy crud, it's working!
- Amazing!

[yelps]

[sighs]

Are you okay?

- Yeah.
- [sighs]

- [straining]
- [both grunt]

[Pete grunting]

- Phew!
- You only used the one arm just then?

Technically, I also used
my lats and deltoids.

Hmm. Wow.

Are you sure you couldn't have
lifted that statue off my d*ck, mate?

- Um, um, pretty sure.
- Pretty sure, huh?

- No, I'm sure.
- All right.

- Yeah. I'm... I'm... I'm pretty sure.
- Uh-huh.

[sighing wearily]

- [electricity crackling]
- Oh!

Look at that. Oh, no, thank you.

What's the matter, Cumbledore? You scared?

Gavin! You're...

Alive, f*ck! You gonna plug
that thing back in or not?

Um, uh, not. Yes. Quite not.

We have a mission!

Gavin, I adore that mission, really.

I'm simply of the mind that,
if I complete it, I'll die, so...

Everybody dies sometime, kid.

[groans] Boys are strong!

[grunting loudly]

- Dicks are good!
- [Lionel] Oh!

I hope God's a dude.

[ominous music playing]

[clears throat] Right then, well,

I suppose I'll just, uh, finish up here.

[power clunking on]

- [Maury groans and coughs]
- [sighing]

- Oh, Connie, you saved me.
- [sentimental music plays]

Of course I did, Maury.

You know, today put a lot
in perspective for me.

Such as?

Well, I realized
what I really want out of life.

I thought I wanted total freedom
to go be a hot adventure b*tch.

- Oh?
- And I thought

a kid would get in the way of all that.

But?

But the truth is,

I was right!

- What? Then why did you say "but"?
- I didn't say "but," you said "but."

Fine, but that was still very confusing.

I'm sorry, I'll be clear,
I don't want that f*cking kid.

Well, I do.

Well, it's that baby, or this a*s, Maury.

You'd really do that?
Take your whole a*s away?

That's right. Make your choice.

Well, then, I guess I'm choosing to abort...

[inhales sharply] ...this relationship!

What? But I'm the hot one.

You made me choose.

[voice breaking] Well, okay.
Dumb choice, but I'm fine with that.

Yes, I too am...

[sniffles] ...totally fine
with the choice that I made.

In fact, I've just remembered that I have
to go punch my car door for an hour.

Well, you should probably get going then.

Yeah. Here I go.

- [sad music playing]
- [both crying]

- [Becca] Looking good, Doug!
- Thanks! I can't see the sky anymore.

Mmm, Barry's butt looks
pretty great when he sweeps.

Yeah, it does.

You know, you're getting
really good at your job.

Shut up, no, I'm not.

Emmy, I... I got my marriage back
thanks to you.

And the baby-love lately?
[mimics expl*si*n]

Sonya would be proud.

Yeah, I don't know.
Let's be honest, no one's proud of me.

But, you know, it's fine.
I've accepted the kind of bug I am.

And I'll never be a Rochelle or whatever,
but who cares?

What's a "Rochelle?"

[sighs] Not an Emmy.

- You shut the f*ck up with that right now!
- Oh! Hi.

[crying] I'm sorry
that's how I've been making you feel.

All small and sh*t? f*ck that.

[crying] No, it's okay.
It's not your fault.

You're a cool goddess
who of course I'm jealous of.

Ew, I'm not a goddess.

Man, I'm selfish and petty.

Petty enough to lose the best bug I know.

I love you. I missed you.

I missed you. You saved my life.

You are my life.

[both sobbing loudly]

[Emmy] This is how it should be.

[Lionel] ...and then I
picked up that live wire and I thought,

"Whatever happens to Lionel,
the Shame Wizard, me, so be it."

Did getting electrocuted hurt?
'Cause I got Vicodin.

Oh, no, I was too focused on the mission
to consider my own comfort.

- [all applauding]
- You're a hero.

And I can't believe
you did it all by yourself.

No, I had no choice.
Not after Gavin passed

in the, uh, in the manner I described.

Ugh, imagine being so scared,

you slip on your own panic-piss
and fall off a building?

Yes, that's exactly what happened!

A fitting death for a true coward.

- [chuckles]
- [all cheering and clapping]

[Gil sighs]

Always make room from the bottom,
not the top, right, Joe?

Sure, some of the food would've been fine,

but a lot of it would've gotten sweaty.

So, we did God's work today.

We sure did.

I think I've got it from here, mate.
Bye, Pete.

Dante, uh, wait.

I just wanna say, you're an okay guy,

and you clearly love Rochelle,
so we're good.

No. No, no, no. We're not "good."

You're a secretly yoked dude
who's into my girlfriend,

and you cut my f*cking d*ck off.
Eat sh*t, guy.

[growls] f*ck him!

- Rochelle!
- Dante.

Come here. Come here.

- Oh, I missed you so much, baby.
- Mwah!

I missed you too.
And all three of your friends.

- [sobbing] About that.
- Damn, you good?

Oh, boy.

Pete! Jeez, what the hell happened to you?

Oh, the blood. Yeah, um...

There's context for this,
both ethical and medical,

and I absolutely didn't want to,
but I, um, cut off Dante's d*ck.

Only because... Oh!

- You're a genius, Pete.
- Uh...

I don't tell you that enough.
[gasps] Jesus, your arms.

- Hey, lady, you got tube-mail!
- [exclaims]

I got a new client? "Lucinda P."
Oh, they sound fun.

- [laughing] Um, you got a few new clients.
- [mail clattering]

Oh, no, no, no!
No, these can't all be for me!

There's too many.

A second Lucinda? Jesus.

I cannot handle all this.

Uh, yes, you can, girl. You're an Emmy.

[laughs nervously] Uh-huh.

- ["Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe playing]
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪

♪ That's just the way you make me feel
That's just the way you make me feel ♪

♪ Oh! That's just the way
That I feel, now, baby ♪

♪ Good God, I can't help it, uh! ♪

♪ Hey, that's just the way that I feel ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Please, I can't help it ♪

♪ It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender ♪

♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪

♪ Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better, oh! ♪

♪ There's nothin' better, baby ♪

♪ Damn ♪