01x02 - The Neighbors

[bunniefuu]

needle nose what pliers needlenose

pliers

oh I thought you said I had Neil knows

[Applause]

[Laughter]

what's the problem - hmm

oh it's her voice but I think the

problem is an inner modular distortion

of the secondary harmonics in the half

wave rectifier which controls our speech

synthesizer unit that makes sense

okay I'm plot Vicky turn around Vicky

okay repeat after me testing one two

three testing one two three

yeah you turned her into a chipmunk I

will never get this robot perfected of

course you will honey don't be so hard

on yourself

you've invented something that's

absolutely fantastic

yeah dad if Vicky was any more human we

need not another bathroom you know the

thing that intrigues me most is if a

robot is raised as a real child will it

eventually be able to program itself to

act like a real child I don't even have

a motion hey that would be fabulous

well who knows maybe one day families

will adopt robots instead of having

children

come on honey don't take all the fun out

of marriage what are you guys laughing

at

if you don't already know it's too soon

to tell yeah oh the coffee is just a bit

more to drip

speaking of drips Jamie honey he's right

you know we have to be very careful of

Harriet's father found out about Vicki I

could have a real problem you think that

mr. Brenda would really give you trouble

at the office is Elizabeth Taylor

another wedding march

honey if brindle if brindle knew about

Vicki he'd not only tell her boss he

probably tried to steal the wafer scale

integration system I invented that makes

her work I got a way to stop period from

snooping but mom won't let me try it

he wants to booby trap the driveway

between our houses Jamie I liked it it's

not bad just watch out for our new car

[Music]

I'm not interested in anything you've

got

Jamie open the door don't be rude

oh okay you hear it you've changed

you look a lot better if you need my

spot gots me what's that my name is

Rodney pleased to meet you my name is

Rodney pleased to meet you it walk and

talks like a real person my name is

Rodney pleased to meet you get it shut

up like a real person

hi Harriet whoa what have we here

he's my robot watch come over to the

table Rodney pour the cream into cup

Rodney oh that's wonderful Harriet

because it also scrub floors

I didn't think so I bet you wish you had

a robot like this you kiddin I got a

robot that you Amy

I mean I've seen a robot that can do

practically anything a real kid can do

except get pimples Jamie you're a father

needs you in the living room hop to it

will I see you later Jamie yeah when I

get home from college I marry him

someday

well I wouldn't tell him just yet

mrs. Lawson you don't happen at my house

today no what happened felt like you ran

out and we don't have any heat or

cooking or anything oh that's all fool

my father is digging up a tree stump any

duck varlet tricky instead oh you must

call me Bonnie Bonnie it means pretty

in Scottish pleased to meet you pleased

to meet you stupid robot oh did you hear

about our electricity not a single light

in the house almost be terribly

inconvenient did you mind if I put this

milk and butter in your fridge Thanks

help yourself and you just try and get

an electrician to come out and miss his

football lots of leftovers things not

going well for your husband oh he's

doing very well thank you and they're

not leftovers we call them reruns oh

that's cute Oh imagine no heat no

electricity no hot water is that the

aroma fresh perk coffee I smell

Hey I certainly do miss my morning

coffee

well you'd care for a cup I be happy

told no no no no no I don't want to

impose

but I could use some hot water for mr.

brindle's coffee oh well sure well I'll

heat some up and I'll bring it on oh no

no I'll take it of course it'll have to

be instant coffee does smell good well

why don't you just take this pot oh no

no no no I don't want to deprive you

folks no but if you insist now by the

way um Harry was telling me about this

little girl that's staying with you now

she's your niece is she

Vicki yes that's right uh-huh well

Harriet says she's kind of strange not

very friendly

oh no she's just very shy I brought up

on the farm

oh really yes you should see how

friendly she is with cows somebody give

me a hand with this stuff hi Brandon

let me well I finally found an

electrician Oh Brandon no he won't come

he's home waiting for a plumber so I

thought I'd better get the rest of this

stuff over before it spoils the

refrigerator for all of this don't you

worry your pretty little head well

mother you've been over here so long I

thought you were invited for breakfast

too I hope my food won't spoil well look

this doesn't need to be refrigerated

pickles you can keep in the cupboard

I finally got Vicki's Voice fix and I

didn't know we had company

hi there

what's the matter with her boys well if

she's a got a little laryngitis Jamie I

take Vicki to her room so she can gargle

oh sure sure uh Vicki say hello to mr.

and mrs. brindle hello to mr. and

Harriette's right she does talk funny if

the local dialect of her area what area

that mountains you said she was brought

up on a farm right the farms on the side

of a mountain whose little girl is she

young her sisters they're twins and it

gets so confusing Jamie took Vicky to

her room please right come on Vicky time

to gargle the word gargle is not in my

memory bank but I do have the Google

Google now what's a Google Google is the

number one followed by 100 zeros the

Sheep precocious or what let's go let's

go strange child

mother I'm afraid it's a cold supper for

us tonight oh we can always send out for

pizza my favorite dinner pizza in the

dark oh if I could borrow a couple of

candles if it isn't too much trouble of

course you can we can always heat the

pizza with it what's going on out there

electricity's out oh no no no no no I

know what you're thinking and I won't

hear of it what was I thinking you were

thinking of inviting us to dinner

no Brandon and I have imposed far too

much absolutely even though I love prime

rib prime rib I saw it in the

refrigerator Oh actually that's for

tomorrow night oh well we couldn't come

to nights in a row mothers will come

tonight but that's it what time well we

usually need at 6:30 well we'll see you

then bye bye bye bye oh if you want to

use any of our food go right ahead you

can always pay us back oh we can still

use these bye bye

I can't believe that we got into this

any suggestions

well can we pack and move before dinner

time fork on that knife and spoon on

right love that robot

unfortunately honey used the wrong

silverware I'm afraid you'll have to do

it over again

do it do it over you had Mickey set the

table what's wrong with that what's

wrong with it is that I asked you to do

it you shouldn't take advantage of a

little girl Joanie honey you've got to

stop thinking of her as a real child

she's an Android a voice input child

identica that Vickie put the silverware

down

I meant on the table Jamie help her pick

it up okay mom

Ted I'm sorry about tonight

but I just couldn't think of a way of

saying no to the brindle's coming to

dinner

sort of insulting them honey honey

there's no way you can insult them his

skins too thick and she doesn't stop

gabbing long enough to be insulted oh

there's the brindle's okay Jamie put

Vicki in her cabinet put Vicki in her

cabinet but Vicki in her cabinet that's

what you always say

look no back talk from iRobot you're

non-union huh

go to your cabinet come on before he

puts you over his knee and wax your

software hi there looks like we've got

an extra guest for dinner happily one

that doesn't eat well to make up for it

we'll take home a doggie bag I tell you

it's just like living with Bill Cosby

I'll bet my shelf for Rodney oh well

well her laryngitis got a little worse

Harriette so we had to put her to bed

oh I'm sorry she isn't feeling well how

long will she be staying with y'all a

few months she has to be back to the

farm in time for the harvest hey hey I

haven't offered you folks anything what

kind of host am i cheap but we're hoping

you'll improve look at all this

electronic stuff you're working on

something secret at home kid or stealing

from the office no it's it's just some

some cheap things I I picked up to

tinker with tantus loves to tinker

sometimes we do it together

not us hany hi Jamie Jamie uh Vicki okay

yeah she's okay can you say hello to her

we wouldn't want exposure to her germs

would it help if we put a handkerchief

over my face might help your face why

don't you show them how your robot works

she showed us this afternoon

pick it up Rodney can I use the bathroom

well of course dear down the street at

the gas station just ask for the key

Jamie would you show where it is please

he's number 50 sleeps yeah well well

what well I'm going to the bathroom

shouldn't you wait till you get inside I

mean I don't need any company standing

out here I'm not company I live here

sometimes you are totally gross most of

the time I'd like a little privacy oh

okay hey that was a trick you didn't

have to go to the bathroom so I changed

my mind you should have changed it for a

better one

where's Vicki she's not here I can see

Dad where is she well if she's not here

she must be somewhere else

are you trying to hide something

yeah me from you let's go he keeps your

clothes yes let's go I want to see ya No

stinky what's he doing in there we were

playing hide and seek and I guess I

forgot to tell her the game was over

right Vicki right Vicki you better get

in bed better get in bed wait a minute

it's gone the living room and play with

your robot let's go in the living room

and play with your robot Barry fix me

how did she see Vicki she ran into the

room before I could stop her she was

standing in a cabinet with the door

closed in a cabinet well that's so easy

to explain isn't it dear you go right

ahead honey

with your robot Vicki well she seems to

be feeling better feeling better

oh isn't that nice now you can eat with

us Vicki I don't eat

she means not when she's not feeling

well

right right there's a matter of fact I

think we'd better go take your

temperature let's go Vicki she's sicker

than we thought

we better call the doctor you know even

before you folks came over I was

thinking maybe we better call this

dinner off remember what I said you said

there's no way you can insult the Brenda

[Laughter]

Stan's chief d*ck and she doesn't stop

gabbing long he never to be insulted

that's what you said Lawson it's not

quite like it after dinner no never use

your refrigerator again commentary my

name is Rodney pleased to meet you shut

up you stupid robot listen we're we're

really sorry

I think you have Brandon I hate to

insult the Brenda 'ls but let's look at

the bright side

if they keep their word we won't have to

worry about him snooping around here

anymore

yeah thanks to Vicki yeah you're

fantastic compared to that dumb Rodney

Rodney is cute he turns me on

[Applause]