01x04 - The Suitor

[bunniefuu]

now if I had 428 apples and you had 964

apples

could they be divided into twelve

baskets of apples evenly man that's all

applesauce to me the answer is 116

apples in each basket

wow you're faster than a tongue in an

ice cream factory

this is fun this is fun oh hi kids

Jamie be careful of that computer it's

not a toy I know I'm just using it for

my homework where's mother she's fixing

dinner hi honey

hmm we're having minestrone tonight oh

very good mind if I have seconds help

yourself

minestrone on a cold night honey I'm

kidding you know I know which side my

bed is buttered on

[Music]

hi mr. Lawson

Jim Vicki come on and say I know she's

just a little busy right now Harriet Oh

things yeah thanks house all the time if

there's something wrong with her not all

Harriet does she just doesn't like to go

outside much that's unhealthy keep me

plenty of fresh air and exercise well

that's so true Harriet and that's why I

want you to breathe very deeply while

you jog back home junk in your house

secret stuff that's funny that funny

Joni that's funny

goodbye Harriet nosy neighbors you know

it's not bad enough that her father bugs

me at the office but he he bugs me at

home too I'll speak to the pest control

man about him yeah I like your thinking

honey now listen do you need some help

with dinner

oh honey but you've had a long day at

the office I was talking about Vicki

honey you should use for more around the

house to help out you know you know you

can program her to do anything you can

program her to the vacuum do the dishes

anything you want no it makes me

uncomfortable taking advantage of a

little girl that way Joanie honey she's

not a little girl she's a robot an

Android a mechanical device just like

your blender my blender doesn't have big

soft brown eyes

I'll see who that is I've got a dad see

who it is first

Vicky up periscope

up periscope oh no Vicky

down periscope down periscope

who is it Jamie it's Warren Enright the

biggest nerd in school nobody can stand

him he's dull he's obnoxious and he's

got one really terrible drawback what's

that he's very smart

[Music]

no Jamie here you have wrong place this

is sushi bar

Jamie that's not nice and it's a

terrible accent

let a man but if my friends find out

they'll never speak to me again yeah

well you don't need friends like that

now Vicki yeah go into the kitchen say

to Joanie you want to help her you want

to help her no no no you want to help

her you want to help her no no you're

just going in the kitchen and say it

okay okie dokie boss she can say okey

dokey sake to Jamie let him in and be

nice to him oh and keep him in here I

don't want him to see Vicki come on in

gee it's really nice for you to let me

in your house nobody else does it don't

mention it

and I mean don't mention it to anyone

would I tell nobody talks to me hi

Warren I'm Jamie's dad it's really nice

to meet you nice to meet you too I'm

Warren and right Jamie's I almost said

friend but that's not the right word

since all the kids hate my guts I'm sure

that's not true and then Jamie doesn't

hate your guts do you Jamie I've never

seen as good but I'm sure they're very

nice uh you left your glove on the

playground I figured you wanted it so I

figured I bring it over good figuring

that was really thoughtful of you Warren

here come on over here make yourself at

home right on the couch here hey Jamie

I'm sure you and more and have a lot to

talk about so what do you want to talk

about whatever oh hey I bought this

great stamp for my stamp collection you

want to see it

sure sounds really exciting it's in my

knapsack need some help no thanks it's

the only exercise I get

Vicki I'd like you to take these flowers

and put them on the coffee table and

when you're finished come back okay okie

dokie boss Vicki please don't call me

boss

okie dokie Sahib just where do you see

the stamp it's really old it's gonna be

a lot over by the time you get that off

there got it

Vicki Oh what are you doing in here

putting these on the table go back in

the kitchen when I finish with this as

programmed we'll go back in the kitchen

right now I must carry out previous

input data command you're really into

computer talk

let's go Warren who's Vicki your sister

she's my cousin bye she's the most

beautiful girl I ever saw and I think

she likes me

like you yeah she's known me for almost

a whole minute and she didn't insult me

she's the only girl who's ever done that

she doesn't really know you yet can't

come over and see her again no way

forget it

Vicki's not your type goodbye Warren boy

you sure fooled him the poor nerd thinks

you're a real girl that would notice not

in my memory bank well it should be a

nerd is the lowest form of life and this

nerds got a crush on you crushing me

will ruin my circuits

no I mean he likes you wait boys

sometimes like girls it has to do with a

bunch of mushy stuff like kissing and

hugging yes

kissing and hugging yeah well I guess

you don't know about those things see

this is the hub nothing personal

and this is a kiss yeah and important

girls like each other they call each

other by stupid names like honey buns

[Applause]

honeyBun better eyes at each other like

this Vicki best lucky tongue in an ice

cream factory honest dad there's nothing

to worry about with one he didn't

suspect a thing about Vicki he thinks

she's a real girl that's great that is

terrific you see honey that's the one

concern I had can she pass for human

honey that was a terrific dinner thank

you

oh it's nothing special just a little

something I've been whipping up since 8

o'clock this morning honey let Vicki do

that Vicki take these dishes away oh no

no no no no Vicki

Ted she helped me before Vicki relax I

guess that's a robots way of relaxing

I'll get it dad mom Vicki you can

straighten up Vicki I better see who

that is here up Vicki oh no it's

incredible not again put me down Vicki

who is it Jamie the nerd again what do

you want Warren I've brought this for

Vicki I'll make sure she gets it Jamie

that is rude let him in twice in one day

yeah well if she fooled him once she can

fool him again and it's a real good test

for come on Vicki sit here on the sofa

hi Warren how you doing well I will

leave you kids alone now have fun okay

[Laughter]

well it's Jamie's friend Warren but I

think we better keep an eye on Vicki

just in case hi nice to see you again

nice to see you again

this is for you it's a real special

flower a real special flower that's cuz

it's the first flower I ever gave to a

girl I wasn't gonna come back but I had

to see you

cuz cuz I really like you

I really like you

gee I like you very much I like you very

much

honeyBun

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

and did you hear that yeah but I warned

Vicki you created a monster

only this one wears white socks this is

Ben

[Applause]

[Music]

hi Vicki

what are you doing your folks went

shopping and said you sit here not to

Jenny thing they didn't mean it like

that

you can relax now relax oh no it's

Warren again Vicki straighten up and get

behind the store hurry

behind the door hurry hi

what did I tell you at school today

didn't I say not to come over here

anymore

Jamie I have to see Vicki I love her

Cupid a shot of zero into my heart

missed your heart and hit your brain but

he doesn't like you Warren not that way

she can tell me that herself where is

she she went back home to Alaska just

head north and turn right at the first

igloo are you there honeybunch I'm here

honey buns one you're wasting your time

goodbye

I finally got rid of that pissed I'm

still here and I'll be here forever he

wouldn't be hanging around if you

treated him like real human girls do if

I treated him like real human girls do

forget my gentle nature but what I'm

gonna do is program you to treat Warren

like all the girls do got it got it

you understand all that Vicki my

computer's have processed the

information I hope that's good okay

Warren come on in Vicki wants to see you

see you can't stop true love would be

asking too much to leave Vicki and me

alone yep I figured hi I got this for

you I hope you don't mind I ate a few

pieces while I was later I've had a

heart-shaped box to show you how much I

I I love you do you love me laughs yeah

well you don't actually have to love me

with you also for a nice friendly insult

Warren yak is an insult oh good

would you like to hear a poem I move for

you honey buns

you are blubber buns

once I get the feeling or drifting apart

you're an overstepped toad I never said

I was good-looking

yeah are you you're obnoxious and a pest

I know I was hoping it was different

with you

I noticed the lowest form of life I'm

not even a good nerd I knew it was too

good to last

[Music]

hey Warren don't cry come on she's only

a girl sort of hi kids

what's the matter why is one crying oh

I'm sorry

you'd think I'd be used to it by now

used to what

well I thought Mickey liked me but she's

just like all the others she called me

an overstuffed Oh what I also called him

blubber Benz I think I'm getting the

picture me too

Jamie in the kitchen on the w2 Vicki

well I'll be going oh no no no wait

Warren what for my life is over

I thought you might like some milk and

nice chocolate chip cookies

well I guess my life could be over later

I'm sorry dad but it was the only way I

could figure out to get rid of one Jamie

just because the other kids treat him

that way you don't have to

that's right Jamie Warren has feelings

too

how'd you like it if the other kids

treated you that way I guess I wouldn't

kids can be so cruel without even

realizing it like making up a word like

nerd that's right

now would you believe when I was a kid

they considered me a nerd

sure dad what do you mean sure dad it's

okay honey I got a thing for nerds here

I bring these in to warn and try to

cheer him up okay

okay hi here this will make you feel

better I hope so

if you like that guy in the TV

commercials he uses the wrong deodorant

don't feel that way one he's no good so

what nobody wants to smoothie listen I'm

sorry and I apologize the Vicky's hurt

your feelings yeah gee I've never been

apologized before well I've been mean to

you and I've put you down a lot and I'm

asking you to forgive me

kids can be so cruel I know I'm one of

them so do you forgive me

oh sure does this mean you like me yeah

a lot a lot push your luck

you know it was bound to happen with

Vicki she's too good for a guy listen

that's a bad attitude you got to start

believing in yourself one someday you'll

find someone

I'm sure what girl on the right my right

me Punk hi there big fella are you

talking to me Harriette this is my

friend warning right he's one of the

most popular diving class no I'm not and

he's modest too

you won't find anyone who thinks less of

him soft and worn that's true and here

we have our delightfully charming

neighbor

Polly charming here yet bad saw one

[Laughter]

amazing absolutely amazing

[Applause]

[Music]

she's my small wonder lovely and bright

and soft lips she's a small wonder

a childlike of you game

the miracle and I grant you she take you

to a site she's the small one

[Music]