01x06 - Spielberg, Jr.

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

be right with you honey okay Vicki do

your thing do you my thing I did it

she's the world's first electronic fly

catcher I hope the neighbors canary

doesn't get out put it in here Vicki was

it good or will we get a phone call no

this is good I hope that doesn't mean

you did something bad but didn't get

caught no dad see we have to do a

project for school in our social studies

class about people in other lands and

how we should be friends even if they're

different I think that's a very

worthwhile thing to teach kids yes now

if the kids could just teach it to the

grown-ups my friend Reggie and I are

gonna make a movie about making friends

with somebody from another planet that

is if we can use your camera and stuff

dad oh I'm sure he wouldn't mind would

you tend well not at all it's a good

idea it's it's really far out

[Laughter]

me and reg you'll be two astronauts who

discovered the planets all robots think

he can play one of them

Nicky play a robot that's cute Jamie I'm

not so sure about Vicky being in it

never guess what she really is a robot

acting like a little girl acting like a

robot well I guess I did invent Vicky to

see how human she could become I guess

part of her programming should be

playing with other children all right

thanks dad thanks dad

you hear that Vicky you're gonna be a

movie star and I'll have to show you how

to act how to act that means to show

different emotions like being happy or

sad got it got it I'm gonna drag the

movie who knows I may be another Steven

Spielberg a Steven Spielberg aren't we

give me one carried away

not at all he's not much older than I am

that's probably Reggie asked him to meet

me here after school

hi Reggie hi hi this is my mom why'd you

and my dad are you doing reg

ha my cousin Vicki hi hi Reggie

my dad said it's okay to use his camera

and stuff

that's great you were right he's a

pushover

and somebody's gonna volunteer to make

the sets in costumes

oh great who's that mom now wait a

minute wait don't thank us we're glad to

make you a part of it

come on Eddie volunteer we were drafted

drafted we were railroaded

well at least our offspring here is

gonna be a movie star happy sad okay

Reggie can I give for the script here's

the scene write this down

well I Hannah do too how about I can not

while I'm thinking now we're a couple of

astronauts land on a faraway planet

right right but I thought that holds a

star now Vic is one of the alien robots

who lives on the planet we'll call her

uh EXIF Yusuf except that's Vicky

spelled backwards

how many robots should we have on the

planet

just one we got a very small budget

how am I supposed to be creative with

only one robot I was counting on a cast

of thousands hey man you're getting more

spaced out than this movie what do you

want Vicky your mother said she'd give

this to you oh she's always clowning

around right Vicky right Vicky

what's she doing oh she's practicing

being a robot the cabinet's like a

rocket ship see oh okay yeah let's get

back to the script now we just landed on

this distant planet and we're the first

sermon ever to land there how do we show

that in a movie simple I step out of the

rocket ship I say we're the first earth

men ever to land here and then what do I

say nothing you're still inside the

rocket ship and then I plant a flag in

the ground and I say I claim this

territory on behalf of the fifth grade

of Washington elementary school and then

do I come on the rocket ship not yet you

know the sub missing in this movie me

you're gonna be in it you're a co-star

like Vickie and she's not complaining

are you Vicki I'm not complaining

see boy she is kind of like a robot just

standing there staring and she talks

funny - oh that's method acting she's

supposed to stay in the character of a

robot till the movies finished was she

has to go to the bathroom I'm not

programmed she go to the bathroom

we better make this movie quick Vicki

please take this dish to my mom and

thank her for the cookies thank her for

the cookies if you ask me she's

overdoing it no real robot would talk

like that boy

you gotta get up early to fool you

Reggie okay let's finish your script now

I just landed on this distant planet and

became a national hero let me guess

I'm still inside the rocket ship now

we'll come to Planet uh nice wall Naz

what not as well that's nice and spelled

backwards I should have known

now get this Reggie because it's really

what my movies all about how the

astronaut and the robot learned to be

friends

why do you mean your movie about this

was our movie and we're 50/50 partners

we are 50/50 partners only my fifties in

charge this is a fair you want this to

my ideas your writing directing and

starring in and I never get out the

rocket ship busy do you're getting out

of it win when I go back to Earth for

the big heroes parade down Broadway and

leave you on a planet to die

I got exactly nothing you're doing this

movie are you kidding you've got the

most important job of all what's that if

we need money you'll raise it my dad

oh hi mr. director how do you like all

the props this is the best you can do

that I mean the kids in class I'm gonna

believe these are rocks on an alien

planet why not I mean how many alien

planets have they been to what's this

for dad oh this is great huh you see the

blue represents the universe and the

white dots are the stars and if you

stand in front of it like this

looks like you're way out in space huh

what do you think I think we're in big

trouble

see I I thought it was pretty clever

well it'll have to do for now but could

you put some more stars on it and could

you hurry it up a little please well you

know when you think of how long it took

to create the universe I think I'm going

pretty fast

and by the by to can paint faster than

one you know I'd like to dad but I'm the

director see I'm even dressed sloppy

like Steven Spielberg well why don't you

direct yourself to a paint can and grab

a brush huh hi Jamie hi Harriette what

are you doing I'm making a movie can't

you tell what famous person I am now

I'll give you a hit the movie et oh I

got it but you're not as cute Aditi

Thanks

can I be in your movie no it's science

fiction not a horror film

well thank I watch sure go home and wait

for it to be on television don't call us

we'll call you

of course you can watch Harriet but you

have to be quiet I don't think that's

possible

anyway Jamie would you help me with this

rocketship please yeah

directors can't do props it's against

union rules

excuse me mr. Spielberg I'm new at this

not an old veteran like you she looks

terrific

she's a perfect robot I'm a perfect

robot oh and the costumes for you and

red - you're finished - honey um does

her dress have to be that short I mean

she doesn't have the greatest legs

they'll do for outer space

now Jamie if you want the rocket ship in

place we're gonna have to move this and

we're gonna have to move the clubhouse

house oh no no no if I could put it down

it's a good thing you didn't say move

the car where you been in showbiz

time is money when you waste time you

waste money how am I gonna waste money

we don't have any that's because you're

not doing your job raising it Jamie

where do you want this

how's that stay baby no good it still

looks like my backyard it is your

backyard

I think our directors head is getting

too big for his baseball cap you want to

move moving yourself I supposed to be

your partner not your flunky he's right

son dad don't think of me as your son

but as a director we're supposed to be

doing this project together Jamie but

you want to run the whole show yourself

I think that's unfair Jamie me2 me3 oh

you're all on his side well if nobody

likes the way I'm doing it I guess I'll

just have to quit everybody hear that

all right oh great there goes our class

project I'm not so sure Reggie just hang

in there what do you have in mind honey

we're gonna teach mr. Spielberg jr. a

little lesson our directors head has

gotten too big for his baseball cap mind

if we come in don't you think you were a

little hard on Reggie just now it would

be nice if you apologized to him he is

your best friend was my best friend it's

his fault the project's off he wouldn't

listen to me

and I'm the director my director had his

too big for his baseball cap who asked

you

Jamie being a director is one thing

being a dictator is another I'm not a

dictator everything would be great if

Reggie had do what I order him to are

you sure you won't change your mind

about quitting no way as far as I'm

concerned the movies off not quite what

do you mean not quite I quit and we

accept but the movies not off how you

gonna make movies at Spielberg easy I

always still got us Reggie the sets the

costumes and Viki

I made perfect robot and most important

it's Reggie's class project - we'll help

him make the movie without you but what

am I gonna do for a class project well

you might consider writing an essay on

the rise and fall of Spielberg Junior

okay go ahead and make your movie dad Oh

Jamie don't think of me as dad think of

me as the producer

okay Reggie move just a little bit more

to your left that's perfect I think

we're ready to sh**t this first scene

okay

tell us what you want us to do mr.

director well I come out of the

rocketship and I wait wait wait Reggie a

director can't work without his

megaphone you mean it was yours Jamie

now wait a minute

quiet on the set if you want to stay

Jamie you can't talk I can't act i won

it's my yard but it's Reggie's planet

come on can't I do something in the

movie well that's up to Reggie what do

you say Reggie well I don't know let's

have a little conference and decide all

right we decided well you can be in the

movie all right I'll be the director no

other director the producer I'm the

producer I just sound engineer prop man

Wardrobe lady and sloppy-joe maker well

Jamie you know that that little animal

that crawls under the ground and comes

up and makes all the holes in our lawn

any girlfriend right you got it

you see that Boulder over there yeah

well go for it and move it to the right

then you can go for my sewing kid in the

house and bring it out to me this is a

fair

it's embarrassing to go from a big

Hollywood director to a gopher in just

one day

you won't be in this movie or not yeah

but the movie was on my idea wasn't it

Reggie well I guess so I should at least

have a part in it come on give me a part

let's have another conference we decided

you can have a part in the movie all

right thanks

what part well you already are gonna

play the astronauts oh go for that

shouldn't I change it to my astronaut

suit oh it's not necessary all you have

to do is come through that door

put your foot on that rock and say I

have landed okay okay hold it right

there what are you doing

I'll give him a close-up of your foot

well we don't need your face just your

foot okay now shake hands with Vicky

shake hands with Vicky hold it right

there now what are you doing dad well

you said you wanted a part in the movie

so I'm putting parts of you in the movie

and the foot maybe even a kneecap

come on can I have a big part well you

could show us hit that's big

and that's an important part well if you

want an important part I think we have

just the thing right - we sure do turn

around and bend over well for your

important part in the movie we can't

make the movie without this part I get

it

here I'll treating me the way I treated

Reggie and the rest of you Pingu Pingu I

think a little apology is in order Jamie

I guess so I'm sorry everybody

I acted like a real selfish jerk Reggie

I can't argue with that I don't deserve

to be in a movie about friends after the

way I treated all you well Jamie you

can't have everything in life your way

you've got to share I know you go ahead

and make the movie you're probably a

better director than I am anyway

Jamie yeah no way I'm gonna make this

movie without my best friend here miss

bellever

thanks Reggie you've got a lot of class

yes I have but how about both of us

directing it

Darby great what are we standing here

for we're wasting time

time is money I change my mind and I

would like to watch I'm trying to quiet

okay well that's fine here right once

you just go and sit over there and you

can't be thinking you're down movie

Jamie come to think of it Harriet

there's a great part for you really

what am I do turn around an end over

Jamie just the fat dad justify

[Applause]

[Music]

she's my small wonder lovely and bright

and soft girls she's a small

a child like you girl

and I grant you she changes to a new

site

she's the small one

[Music]

[Applause]