01x08 - The Bully

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

oops

Oh this batch of cookies is ready Vicki

would you have another misplace he

admits thank you you're welcome

oh this reminds me when I was a little

girl baking with my mother and now I'm a

mother baking with my own little robot

oh but I feel like you're my own real

little girl I love you just as much

I love you just as much

[Music]

Thank You Vicki you're welcome

now put the flour in the bowl for me

okay okay oh yeah I guess I should have

been more specific

well there's hid he just loves these

cookies he never got very many home

baked goodies when he was a boy his

mother was a disaster in the kitchen hi

girls

oh hi honey I have a flower for the

pretty lady

thank you I meant the other pretty lady

the one who controls my electric blanket

a flower for the pretty lady Thanks

you're welcome thank you

mmm the flower goes in the ball Oh

a different kind of flower Vicki so what

else did you learn from mom today Vicki

I learned that you never got many hum

baked goodies when you were a boy

that's true your mother was the disaster

in the kitchen Joan it's not nice to

tell her that my mother's baking wasn't

all that bad oh you're the one that told

me that she used to use her biscuits for

a doorstop I never said I used her

biscuits for a doorstop I said I used

him for a paperweight rookie down boy

Jamie and his friends yeah it's clubs

having an election and Jamie is running

for president our son the president has

a nice ring to it doesn't it and the

cookies coming mom

oh I got two big batches all ready to go

and I'm working on another one brain

thanks mom

so Jamie yep you think you're gonna be

elected president yeah cookies I helped

Billy with his homework I'm not in

Reggie bar on my baseball glove

I bought Kevin a milkshake and I loaned

Willard 75 cents with no interest isn't

that called bribery only if you lose if

you win it's called lobbying you know

honey I dabbled in politics when I was

Jamie's age and fifth grade I ran for

chalkboard monitor did you win

no Jeana Pizzarelli did she kissed all

the boys during recess to get votes what

you should have done I did that's why I

lost

well I guess a good noida Boysen I guess

good white boys right thanks for leaving

the place okay the meaning of the

fearless five will now come to order

hey wait a minute girls aren't allowed

oh yeah

goodbye Vicki go in the house goodbye

Vicki go in the house sh*t's weird super

weird

okay okay the meeting will now come to

art this dark the presidential debate

Jamie what's your opening statement why

should we both of you you should vote

for me because I'm humble but

intelligent

I think the fearless I should fight evil

wherever we find it if we can't find an

evil we should do other stuff instead

let's go to Ritchie Kimmelman house his

dad keeps his gallstones in a jar on the

mantel and the Furious Five should stick

together until we die until we're very

old whichever comes first and remember

the cloud house is in my backyard and

the cookies are my mother specialty

thank you Willard what's your mother's

specialty pickled pig's feet I don't

think we need to hear your opening

statement Willard

okay we're ready for a sick revolt

Otto's a favorite Jamie raise their

hands hold it that's not secret it is

real close ours if we all close your

eyes

who's gonna count how about me

hi Ernie

I had the front and five was having a

big election today it's the fearless 5

this meetings for members only so I'm a

member an important member what are you

talking about

I'm your new present I object your jerk

yeah anybody objects the new president

is gonna punch his lights out actually

objective and quite the word I meant

approved and be closer that's better you

guys collect dudes for the privilege of

being in this club right yeah how much

25 cents a week from now on it's a

dollar what do we get for our dollar

protection the chance to stay alive

sounds like a good deal for one of the

necessities in life

breathing me neither

stay here hey I'm understand I'm gonna

give y'all until tomorrow to come up

with the money you sure be here with the

bucks I know what his mother specialty

is raw meat I don't think I'll be

getting much sleep tonight that rotten

Ernie he really bugs me get your cabinet

see in the morning see ya in the morning

[Music]

still awake huh yeah Vicki inner cabinet

yeah good morning

that was a short night oh it's still

night Vicki are you okay I'm okay Jamie

is not okay button

Ernie really begs him huh we thought

something might be wrong he was so quiet

at dinner he didn't even make that

Slurpee sound with your soup whose

rotten Ernie why does he bug you now

he's this big mean bully he elected

himself president of our club and if all

of us don't pay him a dollar a week

he'll beat us up if it's terrible worse

it's expensive

Jamie every kid runs into a bully sooner

or later you just have to know how to

deal with them I know how can we move

Jamie

running away is not the answer you have

to stand up to this Ernie and try to

talk it over dad

it's hard to talk while you're sucking

on a guy's fist well I'm sure his bark

is worse than his bite you just tell him

that you're not gonna give him any money

and if he threatens you you just walk

away that has one advantage he'll never

see what hit him

[Laughter]

even she knows what'll happen to me

well I don't want you fighting Jamie got

it I'm sure you won't have to pay him a

dollar no Jamie Johnny I'll be there in

just a minute okay Jamie your mother's

absolutely right

fighting is not the way to solve a

problem but just between us if somebody

attacks you you should at least be able

to defend yourself you go to sleep I

don't sleep well fake it all right Jamie

I'm gonna show you how to protect

yourself now I know this Ernie is bigger

than you are

but you have to remember that speed is

more important than size I found that

out when I was your age you beat up a

kid because you were so fast no I was

big and he was fast

[Laughter]

[Music]

Jamie I really don't want you to get in

a fight with this bully but just in case

there's no way out let old dad show you

a few pointers all right okay let me use

this to demonstrate okay now Bobo is the

bully so your best weapon is what we

call the old one-two punch now what you

do is you jab with your left hand like

that and before he has time to react you

cross with the right like that see it

goes something like this

you will you get the idea Jamie yeah the

bubble just got in a lucky punch

alright Jamie yeah you try it here it's

not gonna be that easy dad yeah I know I

know just give it a try here okay is

this right okay that's right okay jab at

it okay now keep keep your left up a bit

that's right that's that's that's right

just keep practicing it you'll have it

in no time jam but just remember Jamie

this is only for self-defense don't

worry I'm not starting a fight with

anything I can't let the air out of

[Laughter]

Vickey wake up and open your eyes I'm

not asleep I'm thinking it come here now

watch this is how I'm gonna handle that

bully tomorrow if I have to

okay listen Ernie you're not getting my

dollar see and you don't scare me

hey get your hands off me okay if you

want to live dangerously now get up and

apologize and listen up because the big

Jay doesn't say things twice this

backyard isn't big enough for the both

of us see so just hustle your tail out

of here and don't come I don't see him

hey you guys maybe Ernie will forget

what he said yesterday and it won't show

up maybe you're just trying to scare us

well he didn't scare me and I'm not

giving him any dollar hey there's five

of us he can't make us pimp we all stick

together

yeah divider wall fall one by one no we

won't

I'm with Jamie what um no you know how

is it really that scared yesterday oh no

I'm not as scared as I am today

[Laughter]

lucky for you guys you're all here hand

over your money any questions yeah you

before a dollar bill for quarters hey

what happened is sticking together

that's what I'm trying to do keep my

hair sticking to my body where's your

shrimp I'm not gonna give it to you

how'd you like me to tell you shirt in

half

I've got more shirts while you're in it

look Ernie we don't have to fight we

just have a little disagreement we don't

have to hurt each other over a little

dollar right right we don't have to hurt

each other I'm just gonna hurt you

well yeah well I can handle myself oh

yeah oh yeah

I gotta talk to dad about that one-two

punch that went to punch yeah I only got

his first one I'm glad mom and dad are

out shopping she's gonna be real mad

when she finds out I was fighting a

man's gotta do

[Music]

[Applause]

where'd you hear that a John Wayne movie

on television well I sure don't feel

like John Wayne right now if you're more

like Boy George

I got a fork over that dollar unless I

want my nose closer to my ear your nose

closer to your ear all fix Ernie I'll

give him the dollar all antennas Dickie

come here and count out a dollar for me

count out a dollar do you think mom

notice if I wear these around the house

for the next two weeks

careful Vicky I'll get them

can't reach Vicky lift the bed you

really are strong wait a minute

put it down Vicky how dumb can I be I'm

not programmed for that information

No I mean I've got a great idea

Vicky now watch closely this is a punch

see a punch yeah now you push a Bobo as

hard as you can got it as hard as I can

[Applause]

[Music]

wow what a punch wow what a punch Vicky

you're gonna tee shot Bobo Ernie a

lesson got it got it

[Music]

we got here another club member I can

always use an extra dollar a week he's

not giving you a dollar Ernie and

neither am I

listen Tripp don't you ever learn your

lesson you bucking for intensive care

that was just a lucky punch big mouth

Jamie I think you got the big mouth on

the wrong guy

Ernie just thinks he's so tough he's a

pushover a marshmallow

kid Jamie if the kid you can I'm your

baseball glove you know I'm not afraid

of this Turkey even my cousin Vicki can

handle

[Music]

binky do you think do my thing say

pretty please pretty now that's the way

to talk to the big J hang them up on

that hook thinking man I don't believe

this

really Vicky show earning your punch

Ernie this is my punch first give us our

money back you got it you got it here

have some of mine too okay take him down

Vicky now get out of your Ernie and

never come back

don't worry I'd rather go to the moon

you come back and you will

man that little chick must be on

steroids Jamie how did that hole get in

the garage door when I open the

refrigerator to get my look little light

hurts my eyes

fatso take them off oh gee your eyes he

just like boy judge fighting all right

that does it I'm gonna go tell his

father off how big is his father never

mind I'm going it's all taken care of

Ernie won't be bothering us anymore you

mean you won you could say that

all right that's mud you know I don't

approve of your fighting just one bit

Fighting's wrong won't happen again

right Jamie right dad

so you finally have your club elections

yeah we sure did well it sounds like the

other boy wants know Willard didn't win

neither did I then who won I am the

president of the fearless

[Applause]

I am fearless number 6 I thought girls

weren't allowed in your club they are if

they can punch a hole in the door

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

she's my small wonder lovely and bright

and soft words she's

a childlike

[Applause]

and I grant you - thank you at the sight

she's the smart one

[Music]