03x16 - For Sale by Robot

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

hi hi oh so much to small talk when's

dinner

no your mom's still downtown taking the

test for her real estate license so I

warm these up to all this over hard burn

specials pigs in a blanket

I'll take a chocolate shake the milks in

the refrigerator get a piece so

refrigerator get it

[Music]

put it down Vicky I meant the milk in

the refrigerator so what do you think of

this Jenny what is it well it's either a

blueprint or a smurf exploded the

remodeling plans for our house chocolate

now did you ask for a shake

now it's a shake you pass the test and I

got a job hey my first clients

they're picking me up here in the

morning and then we're gonna go and see

a house in the neighborhood

congratulations thanks honey look at

this

the remodeling plans came back from the

architects office just like we discussed

great first thing we're gonna do turn

down a fireplace and put up a terrazzo

marble mantel oh happy beautiful honey

then we're gonna take down this divider

and this post and then we're gonna put

up a staircase from the hallway into the

new second floor new second floor it can

we afford that well it depends how many

houses yourself

I need to show the house my sales

contract there it is Johnny would you

relax you're gonna do just fine

easy for you to say this is my first

chance to sell a house I don't want to

blow it all right I'll tell you what

we'll do we'll have a dry run before you

clients get here I'll be the buyer ah

mr. what's-his-name he's in town for a

convention he's moving his business here

from Texas oh okay

well then the most important thing is to

let the buyer know that you have his

best interests at heart you know then

you're gonna give him the best deal

possible dad oh I'm glad you're here

we're gonna help Mom practice selling

the house at the ball field that's full

oh it's okay to only take a second come

on okay

now we're gonna pretend like we just

came in okay name is and these are my

little doggies here and it's over here

is the heifer that dropped them

say howdy darlin well you have to excuse

the missus she just ain't much of a

talker she's also not much for milk a

partner

we'll say now this that right now spread

you got here isn't it no no no Joanie

Joanie if you want to sell something you

you've got to be a Suzy astok bright

animated you know train again well now

honey is the right nice spread you got

here

[Music]

it's a terrific choice at a very good

location nearest school for the kids -

Oh indeed it is there's a park just a

couple blocks down see ya

[Music]

well ma'am I gotta tell you I'm plumb

hogtied by your bunkhouse here so how

much this place gonna set me back oh

that's a great value a lot of house for

the money and a very reasonable price to

only 159,000 and furnished mmm honey I

got to tell you you just kind of took my

heart and stomped that sucker flat you

know

I mean no limbs a lot of pesos ain't

that right petal bumps

well mr. flu you're confidentially I

want to get you the best deal possible

I think I'd get it for you a little

cheap birth cheaper you just ain't

honking my saddle horn are you

what would you say to 129,000 I'd say

keep aankhen well you really should make

an offer mr. fluke and this market the

house is gonna sell fast okay honey

ninety-nine thousand big ones sold and

you can move right in

oh thanks Annie yeah that cuttlebug old

cuddle box oh no look at that she got so

excited she fainted right away and give

me that therapy - Tommy mr. fluke he

made a good buy well honey you sold me

with your great sales pitch and those

incredible legs I'm gonna thank you for

helping I have a feeling it's not gonna

be that easy well I don't know honey

come on we got the key to this house

that fast

Joanie Joanie relax I'll Drive you down

to the office and we can get it oh great

Ricky we'll be right back you forgot

something what Kyle bumps

[Music]

we shall hide it there little darling

I'm Fred flu how did their big darlin

I'm Vicky awesome

this here's a little missus how dare

Tata box

are you

he's your ma home she's expecting us

I'll be right back well yeah I got me a

little something for you honey it's a

little souvenir pen for my company can

handle portable potties your outhouse in

the suitcase don't leave home without it

[Music]

hey Fred this is a right nice little

Casa but the furniture makes you want to

check your chili oh it's a terrific

house and at a great location here

school for the kids too is this the

place mrs. Lawson was gonna show us must

be my guess she's selling her own hands

[Music]

oh you happen to know just how much is

too much money Fred Freda don't be a

penny pincher it's furnished you can

look for loose change in the couch

well now that is a Stalin point but

that's still a lot of dinero

confidentially my mom want you to get

the best deal possible I think she can

get it for you a little bit cheaper much

cheaper Oh what would you say to a

hundred and twenty-nine thousand

I'd say cheaper how about fifty thousand

big ones now wait a minute wait hold

your horses Freda what are we doing

she's a kid she can't sell us his house

she said her mom wanted us to get the

best deal possible and this contract

looks like the real McCoy to me

I see it's even signed by the owner Ted

Lawson where I come from that's a legal

document you got a point there we're

buying it Fred don't look a gift house

in the mouth

you got yourself a deal honeybunch sign

it Fred but shouldn't we see the rest of

this house first

at this price I don't care if there is a

rest of a house give that to your mom

sweetheart

and this here check come on now let's

hightail it over to the motel and get

our luggage maybe we can check out for

those cheap skins Linds towards us for a

whole day

[Music]

the flu haven't arrived yet

the foods fit around yet what do you

mean Vicki the helper told me to give

them all this contract the house I sold

it this house and there's mr. Foote

signature and a buyer she really took

our house Vicki how could you do such a

thing with my great sales pitch and

incredible legs

[Music]

[Music]

I wear this compact over a dozen times

it could be a legal document with both

your signature mr. flug Zhaan it since I

think you really didn't tell them our

house don't worry honey I've got Jamie

phoning every motel in town when he

finds him I'll explain it was all a

mistake what if they don't think so they

did give us a check

Johnny Johnny look I'm sure the flukes

are reasonable people they'll probably

get a great big laugh out of this order

I'm up to W keep trying okay

by the way what does it mean when the

answer the phone is a adult hotel

does it have anything to do with sex

nevermind I know it had something to do

with sex

I'll get it

how that burger you gotta be the flukes

no I'm Roy Rogers and this year's

trigger

you're gonna be looking for a home where

the buffalo roam

well hi I'm Ted Lawson this is my wife

Joan and boy are we glad to see you out

of there have a fan

we're all set to move in yeah yeah about

this house just point us up to the

bedroom we'd like to go unpack okay no

no no you don't understand you see if it

was all a mistake this house isn't for

sale right I have another house in mind

whew a very nice one I'm sure you

understand of course Fred I think I'll

put red flop wallpaper on that wall

good idea that'll go nice with our

rattlesnake rug excuse me but the the

bottom line is that this contract you

sign just won't hold up well that's your

opinion and you can just move right on

out well why would we move right on out

because I told trigger they can move

right on in

I'm sorry but forget it this is our

house and we're staying in it fine

make yourself to home just so long as

you're gone by the time we get back go

on darling I got to get back to that

portable potty convention we'll be back

later

her good what are we gonna do now I

don't know like I throw that clown out

right on his portable potty

but I guess the sensible thing to do is

call the lawyer dad

I finally found the flues but they just

moved out of the Vans a bar Motel did it

have anything to do with sex

well let me put it to you this way Tom

this is our house and if you can't get

rid of them legally I'm gonna throw them

out what did the lawyer say stay calm

and that'll be $200

I'm afraid not honey I mean they'd sue

us we'd be in and out of court for years

Tom's advice is make the best of it for

the moment okay it looks like we're

stuck with these jerks for a day or two

so so don't let him get to you huh just

stay loose stay loose let's make the key

word call party people party

[Music]

I'd like you to clean out that garage

just as soon as possible darn near

ruined one of my tires when I drove over

your golf clubs uncle I call you look a

little flushed

he's got a toilet honest

what I bought now that deserves a place

on or darling right there over the

living room mantel instead of that ugly

eyesore that's hanging there now I

painted that eyesore are you packed yet

Lawson I want you out of here pronto

oh no maybe they go if they thought this

house wasn't such a good deal what are

you gonna do well we were gonna remodel

anyway right why don't we just start our

remodeling a little sooner than we

planned and with a little help from

Vicky's muscles my muscles what am I

chopped liver

yes

beautiful

now that's art Oh Fred I am so glad we

joined the black velvet painting of the

Month Club

let's unpack Oh Fred Fred yeah got a

second time I want to tell you that I

talked to my lawyer

well looks like you've won house is all

yours pretty boy well now that's more

like it

we just wanted to let you know that

there's no hard feelings yeah and you're

getting a perfect little house here i

oughtta know let your in a little secret

I built it myself

oh really with my own two hands now you

take these walls for instance the finest

materials so solid as a rock solid as a

rock

how solid can a wall be if a child to

put her hand right through it

well let's buzz just a little weak

because of all the water damage

oops

what water damage oh it really wasn't

that bad in fact the fall hardly worn

and otherwise I got rid of the

c*ck c*ck little buggers

can't swim to save their lives anything

else about this house that we don't know

oh no it's a beautiful house no she's

right you take this fireplace for

instance I built this thing by hand

brick by brick this thing is built to

withstand to test the time it test of

time

times at

anything else about this perfect house

we don't know there's nothing at all

it's a very good condition isn't it Ted

oh well it couldn't be gooder oh you

take these hallways stairs for instance

all reinforced and you take this divider

she just post here this isn't just glued

in it's got solid steel bolts things

like the Rock of Gibraltar

rotten Gibraltar want a piece of the

rock fraid this isn't a house it's the

Titanic come on you just overreact and

it's just a little lighter my

that does it you swindler let's jump

ain't worth $50,000 it ain't worth 50

cents I'll never trust that them Fred

they always look just straight in the

eye for is this here contract goes cash

or cheque you polecats oh no stop

payment on it chopped liver

I didn't I guess we do have termites you

guys only ate one termites blood the

place the little buggers can't swim

[Applause]