01x30 - A Dogged Exposé

[bunniefuu]

What's the story, Wishbone?What's

this you're dreaming of?Such

big imagination on

such a little pup?

What's the story, Wishbone?Do you

think it's worth a look?It

kind of seems familiar, like a

story from a book.

Shake a leg now, Wishbone. Let's

wag another tail.

Sniffing out adventure with

Wishbone on the trail. Come on,

Wishbone.

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

Wow! And Joe complains about how I eat?

I can't believe this. Who gave this to

you?I found this whole stack outside the

gym. No, this isn't

happening. I found some in study hall.

What?Did you take them all?Say

yes, David. No, just one.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

How gross. I'm being spied on.

Sam, what's going on?Just this.

Somebody's idea of fun. It's

only volume one. There's more to come.

Actually, Sam, it's... I mean,

listen, boy, I am really sorry. Oh, Sam,

this is terrible. A clear-cut invasion of

privacy. Is that a

tater tot?Do they still serve tater

tots?I love tater tots.

Oh, sorry. Oh, no, Wanda. That's the

thing about food and luck. Never having

to say you're sorry. Sam, was this

handed out in school?I don't think so. I

found these laying around outside. I

wonder who took that picture. That's what

I'd like to know. Is there anything we

can do?Yeah. Dig a hole and put

me in it. Hey, I can do that.

I know it feels like the end of the

world, but don't worry, okay?You know

I'll do anything to help you, right?

Ditto. Buck up, honey. Keep me posted.

Thanks.

It says it's written by Hal Slamming

Doane. Who's that?I don't

know any Hal Doane. Look, he can't even

spell his own nickname. What?

Slamming has two M's, not one. Let mesee.

Maybe it's a fake name. A word

scramble. I bet

that's it. Ah, a fake name.

Not to fear, Sherlock is here. Unmasking

a phony is just what Sherlock Holmes did

in the short story, A Scandal in

Bohemia. The author, Arthur

Conan Doyle, published the story in The

Strand Magazine in 1891.

Come in, Watson.

Holmes, how did you know it was I

Watson?Really. You know how powerful my

sense of hearing is. I would test

myself against any dog in

England. And now then, since you are

always so glad to assist me,

tell me, what do you make?

All right. Of this.

Whoever wrote this is obviously well to

do. It is expensive paper.

Quite. The paper is made in Bohemia.

Kindly read it. All

right. Well, we will call upon you

tonight, a masked gentleman who

desires to consult with you.

We have been told of your strict

attention to secrecy. This account of

you we have from all quarters

received. Stop. That is the clue.

This account of you we have from all

quarters received. Only someone who

speaks German would construct a sentence

that way. HmmA

German who wears a mask and writes up on

bohemian paper. Keep your

eyes and ears open, Watson. Come in.

Per homes. Please take a seat.

This is my friend and colleague, Dr.

Watson. I

employ a vicious total secrecy in this

matter. Stay seated, Watson.

It is both or none.

Very well.

You may address me as Count Von

Crown. Really. You

question that?In fact, I

do. Well, it is true. The title by which

I have just called myself is not exactly

my own. Of course.

This case implicates the Great

House of Ormstein, the hereditary

kings of Bohemia. I was

already aware of that. You may drop the

facade, Your Majesty. I know that you are

Wilhelm Gottreich von Ormstein,

hereditary king. of Bohemia.

You're right. Why did I

think I could fool you?Why, indeed.

Now tell me, Your Majesty, what is your

case?

Ohh I've got to figure this out. Here,

let me try. I'm pretty good at this.

Wait. Hold on.

I should have guessed. Amanda. Amanda?

Why would Amanda want to do this?I don't

know, but I think it's sick. I mean, you

guys compete in school, but this is

extreme. Yeah, extremely embarrassing. I

need to go outside. Who knows how many

pictures she has?

I'm gonna find her. I'll go with you. Me

too. Oh, I could come too. Guys,

guys. Well, okay, if you're gonna

beg me, I'll come with you. Let's get the

facts straight and find the picture

perpetrator.

The facts are embarrassing.

I am not easily shocked, Your Majesty.

Five years ago,Then I was too young to

know better. I became involved with an

adventurous, Irene

Adler. Watson, kindly look her up in my

index. So,

Your Majesty became entangled and

perhaps sent the young lady some letters,

which could be damaging.

Quite so. Watson, have you found her

yet?Yes. There you are, Holmes.

Thank you. Hmm

Lovely. Born in

New Jersey, actress,

singer La Scala,

retired from the operatic stage

and living in London.

Was that a secret marriage?No.

The problem is there is a compromising

photograph.

We are both in it. That

is compromising. If my future

vice sees this photograph, I am ruined

forever. Miss

Adler will not sell. She

threatens to publish it. Then it must be

stolen. We've tried. My agents have

captured her luggage, burglarized her

house. They found nothing.

They don't have my nose for clues. When

will she publish the photo?Three

days. Plenty of time.

If Your Majesty will call tomorrow, I'm

sure I will have good news.

She lives at Briny Lodge.

I will pay anything to get this photo

back.

Good evening, Your Majesty.

Watson. Meet me here at 3:00.

I have much work to do.

HmmYes. Homes, old boy.

To catch an actor, you must become

an actor.

I shall disguise my voice. Yeah. Top of

the morning, lads. Oh,

that's a beautiful house. Who lives there?

It's Miss Irene Adler's place. She

was a great actress. Don't do this thing

under vomit on this planet. Lives proper

now, sings a little, drives out at 5:00

every day, returns at 7 sharp for dinner.

You can set your watch by her.

She's out between 5:00 and 7:00, you say?

Wait here. It won't be a moment. Oh, it's

him again. He's always coming round.

Who's that?Claims to be a lawyer. I

don't like him much. I've never seen

no one get that much lawyer in in my

life. His name's Galfrey

Norton. I've driven him plenty of times.

Climb like a devil. To Church of St.

Micah. Have a Guinea if you can do it in



A beauty has not been underestimated.

The Church of Saint Monica, John. Have a

sovereign if you reach it in 20 minutes.

Well, I never. That's.

I'm off. And I suppose our best be

about my business. Good day, lads.

Now may be my best chance to look around.

However, I do have this strange

fascination for chasing cabs.

The Church of Saint Monica, please.

Here you are, my man. And

another half sovereign if you make it in



All

right, Amanda, freeze. I've always wanted

to say that. Amanda, what do you think

you're doing?Excuse me?This paper, how

could you?I've never done anything to

you. What?Let me see.

Gosh, that's bad. So,

why'd you do it?I didn't. I don't know

what you're talking about. Stalling for

time, huhDon't waste your time. Been

there, done that. What are you trying to

prove?Yeah, what's your beef?Nothing.

It's not me. Well, this Hal

Doan name conveniently turns out to be

yours. The pressure's too much. Give it

up! I mean it.

Look.

Why would I do it to myself?

Whoa! How's that for a plot twist?I

would be mean enough to do this.

Demond?Demond.

Demond Jones. Of

course. I'm sorry, Amanda. I should never

have suspected you. It's okay. We're in

it together now. So what

do we do?Don't

worry. I've got a plan. First...

What?What was that?

Who's mumbling?Hey, remember, diction,

people. Diction! And, of

course, we'll need wishbone. Now, that's

more like it. OK.

OKAnd you want me to

do-- what?Oh, no. I don't think so.

I'm out of here. Come on, Wishbone. We

need you.

Everybody know what to do?Don't worry.

DeMont would neverturn down a chance to

take me on in basketball. Yeah, you guys

just handle your part. Oh, we will. And

you're sure DeMont doesn't leave school

until four, right?RightGreat,

let's get ready. Okay. DeMont's gonna

find himself in a whole new game. Go. The

clock is ticking. Now the fun

begins.

Pardon me, Sir. Just who do you think

you. Oh, Holmes. Well,

I shall never get used to your your power

of disguise. You

said 3:00 sharp. Watson. You shall

never guess what has happened. It's

just it's too funny.

Well, stop giggling and tell me.

I Was at the Church of St. Monica at the

secret wedding of Miss Irene Adler to

her lawyer Godfrey Norton

What she married it's true.

They even needed me to be a witness Well,

this is a most unexpected turn

indeed. I thought all my plans were

ruined Holmes

you can't impersonate a a man of the

cloth. These are desperate times my

friend hereI need your help.

Ready as always. Excellent. My agents

are getting into place even as we speak.

Now you must not interfere, Watson, even

if I appear to be hurt. All right.

When I get into her house, wait for my

signal and do as I have written.

I see. We have only two hours. Hurry.

How will you find the photograph?I won't.

She will show me. Hush, there

is a carriage. Carry out my instructions

to the letter.

I say you do that. Leave the lady be

stop.

They've got a preacher. Oh, he

looks terribly ill. Is the poor man much

hurt?He might be dead. No,

but he needs help. We can't leave him

lying in the street like this.

Please bring him inside. Oh,

here.

Oh, bless

you.

The poor thing. The doctor should

be here in a moment. What

could be keeping him?Please pardon

me, Reverend. Of course.

Boy, I could use some air. Would you mind

opening the window for me?

Fire. Fire. Somebody help. Fire. Fire,

Isaac.

We

are on fire. Oh, false alarm. False

alarm. Quiet, ladies. There's no need to

be alarmed. Look at that. It's only a

rocket.

Come on, Sam. Come on, Sam. Let's get

this show on the road. I can hear them

coming. Damon and Curtis are coming this

way. You ready?Yeah, let's go.

You two-faced little know-it-all. I'm

sick of seeing you. Yeah, well, I'm sick

of smelling you, both of you. Why don't

you stop trailing around with that dumb

mutt?Hey, that sounded too real. You are

acting, right?Dumb mutt. You

tell her, Sam. That's what I said. Well,

that dumb mutt is smarter than you'll

ever be.

Come on, Wishbone. You never said mutt in

the rehearsal. Come on, Wishbone. I mean,

you could have said ferocious beast. I'm

sorry about the dumb-lutt, okay?Well,

just this once. Come on.

Man, did you hear that?What'd I

tell you, dumb girls?Bought it hook,

line, and sinker. What can I say?I'm a

mastermind.

You guys should learn. Never

underestimate your enemy. That was

Sherlock's big mistake.

Excellent work, Watson. Your timing was

perfect. I'm still in a fog.

How did she reveal her hiding place?You

must think as a woman, Wood Watson. When

she thinks her house is on fire, her

natural instinct is to protect the thing

she values most. Yes.

Though she has nerves of steel, her

female instinct betrayed her.

Naturally, she rushed to save the photo.

Look, why did you not take it?

It seemed safer to wait, but Miss Adler

is as good as cop. Oh,

thank you. Good night, Mr. Sherlock

Holmes.

I've heard that voice before. I

wonder who the d*uche that was.

Gentlemen, do come in right

this way, please.

Mr. Sherlock Holmes, I presume. Your

mistress. Where is she?Madam left this

morning with her husband.

She told me you were likely to call. She

has left. England. Never to

return. All is

lost. Watson, the panel. Open

it.

Ah, there we are.

Sofoto.

Curses. She still has me in

her power. There's a letter for you,

Holmes. Well, open it.

My dear Mr. Sherlock Holmes,

you did very well. Took me in

completely. I had not a

suspicion until after the false

alarm. I

realized how I had betrayed my hiding

place. I had been

told the king might employ you. But I

found it hard to think ill of such a

dear, kind old clergyman.

But I've been trained as an actor, too.

So as a male, I followed you.

Good night, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

My husband and I are now gone to live a

better life. Your client may rest in

peace. I keep the photograph only

to protect myself from him in the future.

And leave another which he might care to

possess. I remain, dear Mr. Sherlock

Holmes, very truly yours,

Irene Norton.

I am sorry to have failed, Your Majesty.

Not at all, her Holmes. I know she

will leave me alone if I agree to do the

same for her. Very well.

And now, how

can I reward you?If

it please Your Majesty, you have

something I value even more.

Please name it

that photograph.

Very well, as you wish. I

wish you always remember this woman, eh

Holes?Most assuredly,

Watson, but she will always

be the woman to me.

Abandon and Wishpin are waiting around

the corner. OK. OK, you guys, we have to

make this real. Here he comes. Go.

I can't believe you two. Can't you see

how wrong this is?Sam, take it easy. I

wouldn't care if someone saw me eating.

Why do girls always care what they look

like?It's kind of shallow. It's not about

looks. It's about privacy. That picture

was used without my permission. You're

out of control. Just forget it. Boys just

don't understand.

Hey, that sounded pretty bad. What'd you

guys do to her?It's not us. She's upset

about the picture of her. You know, the

one in the Sequoia scandals?Oh, yeah.

That's a shame. At first we thought it

was Amanda, but now there's a picture of

her, too. Somebody's been pretty busy.

Yeah. I can't figure out how they got

that picture of her without her knowing.

Whoever did must be some kind of genius

with the camera. I couldn't have said it

better myself. Let me show you shrimps

how a master works. All right, da

monster. Time for another exclusive

expose.

Ready, set,

go! Say cheese!

You know, vertical stripes really have a

slimming effect. Let me see, let me see.

Can I at least have a copy for my

scrapbook?Um,

Sam. Are you sure this is the way you

want to handle it?Well, my dad said I

should try it my way first and then see

what happens. You don't want to bring

yourself down to his level. I know. I

just want this to end. Oh, well,

let us know what happens. Good luck. You

know, it's really not his best side.

Thanks. Now, Wishbone, sit

and stay. Okay. Sit, stay, save the

day. Hey, it's what I do.

You know I'm here. I want that

picture. So don't give me any trouble.

Just calm down. Here, take it.

I knew you'd cave. You and this stupid,

runny little dog. Hey, don't go

there. Aren't you forgetting something?

What?Well, I've got the negatives,

and I can make as many prints as I want.

Now look, Samantha. Now you look. Damont,

I've played your game, and I can win.

But I don't want to. I want this whole

thing to end. Okay, whatever.

Sorry.

You know, you're a lot smarter than I

thought. Yeah, well,

I wish you could act as smart as you

really are.

OK, one more scandal has been solved

and Oakdale can relax. And I know how.

Let's go for pizza. And then you can rub

my tummy. Tell me a story.

Sam. Sam.

Hello.