02x02 - DOLF4C3

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Remember, baby, this is
our first time at the Council.

Those f*ck are gonna
try to railroad us

into taking a sh*t deal. Gotta be tough.

I am tough!

[slapping] [grunting]

♪♪

This is Kreel, the scavenger
I told you about,

from Rancho Cucamonga!

- [chuckling]
- Wow.

- That's my seat.
- [sniffs]

Why don't you go, uh,
f*ck off with your lipstick,

'cause the men need to talk shop.

- [laughing]
- Sorry, Boxer.

Still breakin' her in.

[snapping fingers]

[chair squeaks]

[laughing]

[door shuts, laughing stops]

Well, don't just lurk in the shadows.

Come here.

You're with the new one, right?

Yeah, for now.

I'm Krista, by the way.

- Hey!
- Can I have a swig of that?

- Thanks.
- All right,

let's get down to business.

Laur, you owe me a make-good
from last month's trade.

What the f*ck?
Half those shells were duds.

Yeah, that's my fault.

Derek spilled an entire
can of Surge on them.

I'll just stop with the b*ll*ts
and throw in some extra medical.

Anyone have any wide tampons?

Me.

But I want the batteries

you've been holding onto
for a rainy day.

I'm gonna need the tampons first.

Whoa, hold up.

I thought the guys out there
were making the deals.

[laughter]

Oh!

We're the ones who make
the real trades back here, babe.

Outside is just the monthly
d*ck-measuring contest.

[chuckling]

So, we go to open the door, right?

And I'm expecting to see a dead body,

'cause, the smell.

And you wouldn't guess what it was.

[farting]

Aw, come on!

That was, like, the most
awesome fart, Jess!

[laughing]

And this sucks so much.

Oh my god!

Okay, so I totally
don't wanna k*ll you girls,

but Boxer said, um, that I have to.

It's a whole power play thing
so he can control the supplies.

But just to be clear,
I so do not wanna do this.

Oh, f*ck.

f*ck, I don't want to.

But what if you didn't have to?

We put up with their bullshit
for protection, right?

But...

look at us!

We're in the driver's seat.

Pedro said we can't drive.

Well f*ck Pedro.

He loves to f*ck so much.

We make the deals.

We deserve so much more
than just a seat at the table.

We deserve the whole g*dd*mn room.

Or, do y'all just wanna be the b*tches

banished to the ladies' room forever?

All right. It's time
to measure our dicks.

Hiya!

So the ladies and I have been talking,

and we've all decided
that we're dumping you.

Now, this is an amicable split, so...

we'll leave you children
the baby food and take the rest.

[scoffs] Those are our terms.

Take it or leave it.

You ungrateful sluts can leave us,

but you try and take our supplies

and we'll f*cking k*ll you...

Anyone else have sh*t to say?

I think you're a b*tch.

[g*ns c*ck]

You're nothing without me.

I was your ride or die!

Well, the ride's over, so...

[g*nf*re]

[birds chirping]

Oh...

god.

Oh...

[clanging]

Uh... hey.

Hey!

[screaming]

Hi.

What the hell are you doin' here?

Don't worry about your pants.

I had to search you for weapons.

Only found one, small caliber.

So you escaped New San Francisco?

Hmm, impressive.

Or rather, it would be
if you weren't a spy.

Spy? I'm not a spy.

Oh, playing dumb? Classic spy move.

You either start talking,

or mama's going to start tweaking

those pesky little pepperonis.

[cackling] [yelping]

What the f*ck, Ashley?

You were supposed to come
and get us when he woke up.

You meant, like, right away?

Ugh! Fine.

You used to be cool.

Oh. Quiet.

I'm so happy to see you.

Oh, I have so much to tell you.

New San Fran, it was a trap.

Raven tried to get me
to play video games all day

so I could enter the tournament
and win her her wish,

to help her creepy coma friend.

Um...

I'm happy to see you.

It's good to see you, too.

And I'm not the only one
excited to see you.

Lionel, it's me.

Krista.

You must be confused. My name's John.

Right, your memory.

Sorry.

God, you look exactly the same.

Minus the braces.

How do you know I had braces?

I know because I'm your sister.

Huh.

Wow. Okay.

[chuckling]

Uh, it's, uh...

[grunting]

Well, it's, uh,

nice to meet you, again.

Yeah.

Okay.

Um.

Sorry.

Okay, okay.

[clearing throat]

So...

what's up with the masks?

[grunting]

- We call ourselves the Dolls.
- Let's go.

The divide between insiders

and outsiders grows by the day.

So we fight to make things even Steven.

We're making real change.

Our numbers grow with
every community that we free.

What started off with just four women

became all this.

♪♪

This should be your size.

You know all that from a weird hug?

Wasn't that weird.

Hey, baby, would you
help me out of this?

My t*ts can't breathe.

Maybe later.

[clearing throat]

Here, try this on.

It'll go good with the pants.

So, catch me up on the last 20 years.

I want to know everything.

Well, you know, a little bit of this,

a little bit of that.

Milkmanning.

Had a cool car.

Met Quiet.

Here we are.

Uh, the scouts are back.

You want to be briefed now or...

Now's fine.

Seriously, John?

Your sister hasn't seen you in 20 years.

And the best you can
come up with is milkmanning?

I thought I would feel some way,

sh*t, remember something, but I don't.

I look at my own sister and...

she's a complete stranger to me.

Just don't shut yourself off.

Just because you don't feel it now

doesn't mean you never will.

Sure.

Come on.

I got someone
you'll definitely remember.

♪♪

- Oh.
- [chuckling]

Oh, you're a sight for sore eyes.

[laughing]

He looks beautiful.

So since I've been gone,

it looks like you've
made some changes...

to the car.

I would call them upgrades, but, yeah.

Upgrades, right.

So has, uh, Roadkill had
any new passengers since me?

A few.

Not that that's any of your business!

No, no. it's not. Your car, your call.

So what's a few, like, two? 12?

- John.
- Okay, okay,

So you're not going to believe this,

but I found a place
that we can go away to.

My grandfather, he had a family cabin.

It's remote as hell.

It's up in the Sierras, right?
It's a lot of fishin' holes.

We can catch our own dinner.

Nobody'll find us. We'll be safe.

We could live together, just you and me.

[scoffing] I mean, if your posse

wants to come,
they can sleep on the couch.

That's cool. [chuckling]

[door slams]

That cabin sounds great, John.

- Yeah?
- It does.

But I can't run away.

When I met up with the Dolls,
I realized I've been

fighting against everything
instead of...

fighting for something.

I can't go with you because...

I'm entering the tournament.

No, no, no.

That tournament is
a guaranteed death sentence.

- Yeah, but if I win...
- Now we're dealing with ifs?

When I win,

I'm going to wish to
bring down all the city walls.

Finally put insiders and outsiders

on an even playing field.

It's bad out here, John,
and it's getting worse.

You're going to be dealing
with the most ruthless

and dangerous drivers in the country!

Maybe I'm the most ruthless,
dangerous driver

in the country. [scoffs]

Oh, eat a sh*t!
Is that so hard to believe?

I don't want you to die
trying to prove it.

You can't just show up here
after seven months

and start making decisions for me.

Oh, right. It sucks
when people make decisions

- for you, right?
- You know what?

I can't believe you're
still mad about that.

You said all you ever wanted
was to go inside.

You were about to give it up.
You should be thanking me!

I should be thanking you
for sh**ting me?

Which time? Cause it gets
less and less cute.

[clattering]

- Little m*therf*cker!
- Quiet!

If you think I'm gonna change my mind...

[scoffing] You don't even know me.

♪♪

Hey, d*uche canoe.

You took that without asking,

Oh, Quiet. My B.

Ashley asked me to jimmy the door.

She locked her keys in it.

Again. Second time this month.

Yeah. Ashley is really flaky.

Except what's weird is
this isn't actually her car.

A couple of the Dolls
synced up on their periods.

The gauze is flyin' off
the shelves like crazy.

Okay, you got me. I'm not a Doll.

No sh*t. When did you sneak in?

Yesterday. Look, I... I'm so sorry.

But it's my baby brother.
I left him at our camp

a few miles back, and he's really sick.

I mean, it's like blood in piss bad.

I swear, I only stole
what I needed to...

Put him out of his misery.

Oh, okay, okay, let's take it easy.

I mean, we can handle this
like adults, right?

Yeah. You know,

I was thinking the same thing.

[grunting]

So, are we going to talk about
the elephant in the room?

Your brother is fine as hell.

I'm so glad you said something.

I'd make his face my car seat.

I wanna put his gearshift
in my gas pipe.

- No!
- Krista?

We need to talk.

Alone.

You brainwashed Quiet.

So, I don't know, um,
un-brainwash her, now.

Wanna try that sh*t again?

No one barges into my tent
and orders me around,

even if they're blood.

You can't let her enter that tournament!

We still haven't decided
who's entering the tournament,

but yeah, she's a contender.

I know Quiet. She's not ready.

You knew Quiet, for a minute.

I've known Quiet for seven months.

Plus, the tournament was her idea.

- It was?
- Yes.

We both know no one
can brainwash that girl.

Even if I did agree with you,

which I don't, by the way,
she would still do it.

You know I'm right. I can tell.

How?

'Cause Daddy used to make that same face

when he knew I was right, too.

I still can't believe you
haven't asked about our parents.

I mean, don't you want to know
what happened to them?

Is it a good story or a bad story?

Thanks. I'll pass.

Ugh!

Enjoy being a hypocrite much?

You Dolls steal all the time.

It's complicated, kid.

Hey, don't call me kid.

I'm Mayhem.

[scoffing]

You named yourself that, didn't you?

Wow, I'm really getting
a lecture on names

from you, Quiet?

At least I didn't name myself.

It's a really bad idea that
you're keeping me here, okay?

People are after me.

Dangerous people.

And if they find me, you won't like it.

Oh, well, then you are free to go.

Hope those little arms are strong.

What? Come on.

You can't chop down
a tree with this sh*t.

A bush maybe.

Well, you better get started.

Hey. Jeremy.

Nice to see another
Y-chromosome around here.

Please don't try and bond with me.

- Yeah.
- All right, listen up.

Calypso's tournament
begins in a few days.

An opportunity to change
everything for all of us.

- But it's a long shot.
- No sh*t.

We need as many Dolls as possible

to continue our fight from here.

So...

we will send one Doll,
and one Doll only.

If you want to be considered,
stand your a*s up.

I'm ready to take on any m*therf*cker

who stands in my way
until I get my wish.

Our wish.

Ashley, sit the f*ck down.

Suck it, banana t*ts. I'm ready.

I'm drivin' too.

I, for one, think it's time

for men's voices to take a backseat.

You can't drive. You're not a Doll.

[laughing]

You have something to say?

Oh, is that cool?

You know, because I'm not a Doll either.

So I just want to be clear
on what the Doll rules are.

Unless...

well, wait.

Are you scared to drive
up against... a man?

Because from over here,

it seems like you don't
think you can beat him.

And if you can't,

well, then what makes you think

you have a chance at this tournament?

Enough!

The toddler has a point.

We need to see who has what it takes,

against any competition.

And there's only one way
to reach that conclusion.

It's a battle of hearts,
wheels, and wits.

Prepare for the dance of the...

Dolls?

Did you...

did you really just step on my line?

Are you really going to
go this far to stop me?

- You sound threatened.
- Afraid I'm gonna show you up?

Anything you can do, I can do backwards.

So think don't I.

God, you're such a dingus.

Hey, thanks for
standing up for our gender.

Because of you, I'm throwing
my hat in the ring, brother.

♪♪

[grunting]

[growling]

[growling]

Oh, f*ck me!

♪♪

Hey!

I didn't think you'd be
fighting for the cause

- after one afternoon.
- I'm not.

I'm trying to keep Quiet
from throwing her life away.

This is what I gotta do
to stop her, then so be it.

Stop her?

sh*t, you're going to
watch that girl fly.

Try not to f*ck up Shrapnel too bad.

You name your car?

Yeah.

Dolls...

first person to cross the finish line,

wins.

[cheering]

[engines revving]

The winner will represent
the Dolls in the tournament.

Now, who's ready to dance?

[cheering]

[engines revving]

[g*nsh*t]

[cheering] [engine sputtering]

No, no! Go, go, go!

Okay. Okay, okay.

Is Jeremy f*cking crying again?

Maybe giving me a foot massage
will cheer him up.

Jeremy!

♪ Leave me lying here ♪

Okay.

♪ 'Cause I don't wanna go ♪

♪ Leave me lying here ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't wanna go ♪

♪ Leave me ♪

Oh, now you're doing my moves.

He probably thinks
I learned this from him.

[engine revving, tires squealing]

Time for some fireworks.

[tires squealing]

Whoa!

♪ Tell me tell me what
you really want from me ♪

♪ You've got to let me know ♪

Get ready to eat my... oh sh*t!

- Nice try, John.
- [tires squealing]

Enjoy second place.

sh*t!

[paintball g*ns firing]

Oh, come on, paint? Seriously?!

sh*t.

[grunting]

♪ Leave me lying here ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't wanna go ♪

♪ Leave me lying here ♪

Thanks for the wash.

♪ 'Cause I don't wanna go ♪

I'm gonna f*ck' win this thing!

Oh, no! No, sh*t!

[grunts]

[laughs]

f*ck!

It's just us now.

Oh, hell no!

[engine revving]

What the f*ck?!

Come on! Come on, baby, come on!

- That's all you got?
- Damn it.

No, not yet.

♪♪

Ah-ah-ah, nice try.

Kiss my a*s! [laughs]

f*ck it.

[engine screaming]

g*dd*mn it, she's too fast.

Too fast!

[cheering]

- [tires screeching]
- Oh, sh*t!

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

Quiet. [indistinct commotion]

Are you okay?

- Let me help you.
- I'm fine, John.

- Are you okay?
- I said I'm f*ck' fine.

I don't need your help.

Ladies, get Roadkill to a garage.

She has a tournament to win,

and she needs a makeover real bad.

[cheering]

Hey, where's the kid?

I don't know. Who cares?

[groans]

Where are you going?

That little sh*t has my best hatchet.

Told you she's the real deal.

Yeah, I see.

Mayhem!

You little sh*t!

I want my hatchet back!

Bring it back and maybe
I won't k*ll you with it.

[twig snaps]

Just comin' to say congrats.

Thanks.

I spy a little b*tch.

What the hell are you doing here?

- Run!
- [growling]

[sniffing]

What the f*ck is this?

Look at these horny m*therf*ckers.

Not now.

You have something of mine.

- Girl stole from cave.
- [grunts]

Our food! [grunts]

Our cans! [grunts]

Girl must pay!

- "Girl must p-pay."
- [chuckles]

Hey, you guys are committed to the bit.

I like it.

Make the girl pay all you want.

Take her back to your weird,
inbred hole.

I don't care. I'm here for that hatchet.

All right, all right. Come on, guys.

Look, I'm John. This is Quiet.

Let me help the mood with a joke.

How about that? Knock, knock.

[Quiet] Run!

[g*nsh*t] [yelps]

Metal dog barks loud!

Yeah, yeah, fear the metal dog!

[g*nsh*t] [grunting]

- You good?
- We hiked all this way

and now we're fighting cave people?!

[grunting]

[screams]

No see! No see!

Where the f*ck are my axes?

Quiet!

♪♪

Holy sh*t.

I sure enough did not think
that would work.

Looks like you learned a lot
in those seven months.

So did you.

Where'd you learn to punch like that?

We had Mortal Kombat inside.

Well, thank God for whatever that is.

[chuckles]

Is it weird to admit
that was kind of fun?

Not weird at all.

It was nice to do it one last time.

Well, it doesn't have to be
the last time.

- Where's that g*n?
- I'd like to put it in my mouth.

Thanks for having my back, John.

All right.

See you when the walls come down.

♪♪

'Sup, Lionel?

Nothing. Just fighting cave people.

[chuckles]

Yeah, I heard you and Quiet
make quite the team.

Just like old times.

Must be tough
to finally reunite with someone

only to find out that
they're not the same person.

If only I could relate to that.

Look, I know you don't
believe in our fight,

but those walls are the reason
our parents are dead.

They're the reason
Quiet's brother is dead.

So who are we to try and stop her

from doing something about that?

Look, I get it.
You don't want her to die.

You can't save her.

All you can do is just be there for her

and have her back if she wants it.

Thanks.

So, how'd you get those braces off, huh?

- Good story or bad story?
- Long story.

- [chuckles]
- I got time.

- [handcuffs clicking]
- Oh, come on, really?

You're going to save me and then
just leave me here to die?

You're staying here with the Dolls.

You might have been fine
on your own before,

but your lying little a*s
almost got buried today.

[sighs] The Dolls will have your back.

Sometimes you need that
more than anything.

What, like you and John?

No. No. That is very different.

I get it.

I went through the same thing
with my ex-husband.

- Your ex-husband?
- Yeah.

Gene and I got hitched
just after my first period.

God, that was a weird honeymoon.

- Was he your age?
- No, no, he was much younger.

But then I realized I didn't need Gene.

So I am with you.

If you don't need John, dump him.

I mean, who wants a talkative
old man around anyway?

- He is pretty old.
- Yeah. What is he, like, 60?

- All right.
- 70? 80?

Oh, come on, that was funny.
We were bonding!

More Dolls entering the tournament?

Just some extra protection on my way up.

Look, I still think
the tournament's a bad idea,

but obviously you don't need me.

You're a badass, Quiet.
I'll be rooting for you.

Look, I was thinking...

[mumbling]
Maybe you should come with me.

I'm sorry, did you just... what?

You know what? Shut up!

Come with me.

Wouldn't want to cramp your style.

Uh, just to be crystal f*cking clear,

John Doe, I don't need your help to win.

Mnh-mnh.

I just want you by my side when I...

We do.

Let me check my schedule.

- You're lucky I'm available.
- Ah!

[Dollface] All right, let's head out!

If you two are gonna win,

you're going to need
some special weapons.

And the baddest, deadliest,
most overpowered specials

can only be found in one place.

Diesel City.

[engines revving]

[tray slot slams]

[paper rustles]

[Calypso] Will you drive, Mr. Grimm?

Yes.

[deeper voice] We will.

♪♪

♪♪