02x03 - Call of the Woe

[bunniefuu]

[eccentric, baroque
music playing]

[Morticia] Stassa's waiting
list is six months long.

How did you get her up to
Jericho on a moment's notice?

She has a sore spot for
disembodied appendages.

And I tripled her usual fee.

[Morticia] I'm so mortified
we forgot Thing's birthday.

It's unforgivable.

I've been so preoccupied with the children
and chairing the fundraising gala...

No, no, no, no, no...

Fret not, Cara Bella.

Another hour under
Stassa's deft touch,

Thing will be a new hand.

Tell me, how goes
the fundraising?

Agonizing.

[sighs]

Last night,

I had the sudden
urge to call Mama,

and ask her to be

guest of honor at the gala.

[gasps]

How very distressing.

She is Nevermore's
wealthiest alumni.

Doubtless that's why
Principal Dort recruited me.

Of course not, darling.

[indignant huff] I will
never understand why my...

[through gritted
teeth] ...dearest Mama

has to make every
interaction so torturous.

Fortunately, I have a very
high threshold for pain.

Which I find intoxicating.

[Gomez smooching]

Perhaps I can help you
take your mind off your...

mother.

[sensuous tango music playing]

[tango continuing
faintly in distance]

[suspenseful music building]

[faint thud echoes]

[music intensifies, halts]

Darling, I'm going to slip into something
a little bit more uncomfortable.

Make sure it has a lot
of spikes and buckles.

[anticipatory exhale]

I underestimated your
bat-like hearing.

And my maternal intuition.

Did you honestly think I would
hide Goody's book in there?

You used to hide our Dia de
los Muertos presents in here.

Because I wanted
you to find those.

Do you remember my
favorite bedtime story?

Mm-hmm.

The Salem Witch
Trial transcripts.

Nothing put you to sleep faster
than the rantings of the condemned.

They were allowed to make
their case to the magistrate.

Allow me the same courtesy?

In my most recent vision,

I learned that I am
responsible for Enid's death.

What did you see?

A headstone with Enid's name.

It was in the middle of a
graveyard filled with crows.

They were being led
by a one-eyed crow.

Then Enid appeared and
claimed it was my fault.

Galpin was m*rder*d by
that same one-eyed crow.

And his former partner was
also k*lled by these birds.

These aren't random attacks.
Someone is behind it all.

An Avian?

I need to find the k*ller
before they get to Enid.

I am not appealing
to you as my mother,

but as a fellow psychic.

As a fellow psychic, you understand
your visions are unreliable

and open to many
interpretations.

Not mine.

I had mastered my ability. It showed
me exactly what I needed to see.

Hmm.

Like that serial k*ller, hmm?

In Kansas City.

[chilling music plays]

-[screaming]
-[blade thwacking]

-[music halts]
-Every artist needs their own signature.

You've made a very
compelling argument...

to never give you
back that book.

You haven't mastered anything.

But the only answers I
have are in that book.

They're not answers.

They're shortcuts

that will lead you down a
treacherous path filled with pain.

Your treacherous path
is my walk in the park.

[scoffs]

You sound just like Ophelia.

She was impatient
and strong-willed,

and allowed her ability
to drive her to madness.

I'm not your sister.

No, you're my daughter.

And I won't fail you

the way that my
mother failed Ophelia.

This isn't over.

[Gomez chortling]

[inhales deeply] Tish?

I'm sorry, mon cheri.

The romantic mood has
unexpectedly escaped me.

[gasps]

Maybe later.

[giggles]

[jauntily macabre music playing]

Until I can thwart my mother
and get Goody's book back,

I might have to solve this
case the old-fashioned way.

Galpin may have finally
left a useful clue.

Yet even in death, he
refuses to cooperate.

[Enid] Ugh! I'm doomed.

I have nothing to wear.

And where's the top to
my zebra-striped bikini?

Hiding in shame.

Are you gonna stare at
that disgusting eyeball,

or help out your friend?

[Wednesday] It's an
overnight camping trip.

How many outfits could you need?

There's the bus fit,

and then the opening campfire,
then the late-night swim,

then the morning hike,
and the final jamboree.

Not to mention breakfast,
lunch, and dinner.

If you came, it would be
the perfect opportunity

to get to know the
Wolf Pack better.

As Voltaire once said, "The happiest
of lives is a busy solitude."

You can't avoid people forever.

Ironic, considering
you've been avoiding Ajax.

He keeps dropping gifts at the
door like some desperate raccoon.

Ugh! I just didn't expect my relationship
with Bruno to heat up so quickly.

We literally skipped right
past the talking phase.

[sighs] Oh, I don't know how
to break things off with Ajax.

A quick blow to the
head should suffice.

I don't want to hurt his feelings.
It's not his fault we grew apart.

Didn't Divina borrow
your swimsuit top?

Oh my God. Maybe
she did. Thank you.

[door opens]

I don't know if Divina
borrowed her bikini top.

I needed the decibel level
to go down so I could think.

That premonition
stays between us.

She's gone full Sylvia
Plath over a bikini top.

Who knows how she'd react if she
knew I had a vision of her death?

Enid's dying? Can I
sing at the funeral?

"Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

Feels very Enid. I
already know the lyrics.

How long have you been here?

Since... this.

Make it disappear again.

Enid's not going to die,

because I'm going to
find the m*rder*r first.

Breathe a word...

And you'll find some fiendishly
exotic way to k*ll me.

I know.

So what's our next move?

There is no next move.

I already have a right hand.

I don't need another.

Go find somebody else to stalk.

The more you push me away,

the more I'll want
to please you.

Classic emotional
manipulation technique.

I'm late for a funeral.

If you're here when I get back,
I'll be early for another.

[bees buzzing]

So, Slurp just came
back on his own?

Yep. He was in here when
I came in this morning.

He looks different.

I... I think he's healing.

-[Slurp burps]
-Check out the inside of his skull.

[Pugsley] I think he's even
starting to regrow a brain in there.

[Eugene] Incredible.

It's like he's regenerating
in hyper speed.

[Pugsley] I'm telling you,
it's the mystery meat.

The more he eats, the
more alive he gets.

What are we going to do
if he runs away again?

He won't.

He may be brainless, but he knows
he's got a sweet set-up here.

Who else is going
to take care of him?

[Eugene] Whoa! Check
out this larva!

New England corpse moth.
Super rare. Only ever found...

In corpses?

-[retches]
-What's the matter, boy?

[grunts, yowls]

Did you hear that? He
said his first word.

Br...

That's right, I am your bruh!

[Eugene] He's a zombie.

He's not trying to call you his
bruh. He's trying to say "brains."

Don't use the Z word.

He's sensitive.

How do you not know this?

We're supposed to
be his friends!

No biting! No biting! Bad Slurp!

This is way too dangerous.
We need to tell someone.

No!

They'll take him away,
or worse, put him down.

He's already dead. We can't leave him
here alone while we're off camping.

Don't worry about that.

I already got that covered.

[officiant] May the
road rise to meet you.

May the wind be at your back.

May the sunshine warm your face, and
may the rains fall upon your fields.

May God hold you always. Amen.

Two mourners.

That's two more than
Galpin ever deserved.

[Santiago] The department
had to send an official.

He was a former sheriff.

I lost the coin toss with Ryken.

And I'm here representing Tyler.

He rather grimly asked me to make
sure his father was really dead.

What's your excuse?

I'm mixing business
with pleasure.

Funerals are a hobby.

And K*llers have a habit of showing
up to their victims' interments.

Dr. Fairburn tells me you
visited Tyler at Willow Hill.

He won't give you clues.

He'll send you
down rabbit holes.

It doesn't take years of
police work to see that.

It wasn't years of police work that
exposed Tyler as a Hyde. It was me.

Then I shouldn't
have to warn you

to stay out of the crosshairs
of another unhinged Outcast.

Whoever k*lled Galpin and
Bradbury means business.

Don't tempt fate, Ms. Addams.

Did Galpin ever visit Tyler?

You don't really expect
me to tell you that.

Once.

Within seconds, Tyler transformed. Almost
ripped through those titanium bars.

It took five minutes with a shock collar
before he returned to his human form.

Never seen anything like it.

Pure, undiluted rage.

This k*ller, I think
they're an Avian.

The ability to control birds.

Intriguing theory.

Rest assured, we have no
Avian patients at Willow Hill.

I appreciate your candor.

Like you said, the only reason that Tyler
is safely locked away is because of you.

I think that's worth a little
off-the-record quid pro quo.

That's more than
Galpin ever gave me.

[mysterious, unsettling
music playing]

[caws]

[music trails off]

[keyboard clacking]

Oh! Welcome to the
Inn at Apple Hollow.

Checking in?

I need the key to room 302.

This guest is not
to be disturbed.

And I was never here.

It's me.

Mom?

[Gabrielle gasps]

I told you to keep these closed.
You haven't been out, have you?

I've been glued to the news.

Yeah. I heard the FBI raided the
Morning Song compound this morning.

But Gideon wasn't there.

I'm scared.

The only way you were leaving that
cult was in handcuffs or a body bag.

-I wasn't gonna let that happen.
-I know.

Look, Gideon found you
at your most vulnerable.

I'm not blaming you.

[Gabrielle] You should.

We both know the only
reason he married me

was to help him recruit people so
that he could steal their money.

Water under the bridge.

The hard part is over.

I got you out.

Now you just have to
stick to the plan.

You got the evidence that Gideon's a fraud
and I sirened those feds into action.

They're going to find him.

And then, once he's in
custody, we'll be free.

I promise I will keep you safe.

[Wednesday] This
investigation has flat lined.

The only chance for resuscitation
is by taking drastic measures.

Agnes, when you sent me
those stalker text messages,

how did you unlock
Galpin's phone?

The nose is a little bigger.

[springy scrunching]

[cheeky music playing]

[phone bleeps]

[Wednesday] I'm in.

[Agnes] Nice
shape-shifting, Josephine.

Anything for Wednesday Addams.

I grabbed what I could from Galpin's
house before the cops did a sweep.

For our first case together,
I wanted to over-deliver.

I find your lack of boundaries infuriating
and your fawning devotion irksome.

But your ability does have
its investigative perks.

She's even crueler in person.

Leave. You're both dismissed.

[Bradbury] They're onto me.

If I don't make it, the
evidence is safe at the bullpen.

-[crow caws]
-[phone bleeps]

[Wednesday] Bullpen?

Bradbury hasn't been
a cop for years.

Doubt he was talking about the
bullpen at the sheriff's station.

I think we're looking for an
address to a house or apartment.

[intriguing music playing]

[uneasy violin line quavering]

Pine Crest, 2015.

[intriguing music continues]

Yes, but how do we get there?

Looks like the great
outdoors beckons after all.

Pack weapons.

[martial bugle call]

Atten-hut!

It's time to heed the
call to adventure!

-[whoops]
-[all cheering]

Good morning, my
fellow Outcasts!

So wonderful to see your
bright and shining faces.

The buses are already here.

Be careful loading
those coffins.

Number one, look
out for each other.

Number two, have fun!

This is my last taste of
civilization for two whole days.

I'll get a venti furraccino, two
pumps chocolate, one pump strawberry,

and an extra pump of
steak sauce, please.

Guess you weren't ready
to commit to anything.

[uneasy] Hey.

I know you like to change your mind
about outfits until the last minute.

[sighs]

Yeah, I've been trying to work really
hard on my over packing addiction,

but so far I've
failed miserably.

Let me give you a hand.

No worries. I got this.

[Capri] Miss Sinclair.

A word?

-Thank you.
-[barista growls]

Let's catch up at
the campgrounds.

Sure. Sounds like a plan.

Looked like you
needed some help.

We're going to need to go over
some ground rules with everyone,

since someone decided to schedule
a camping trip during a full moon.

Mr. Tudor-Pole!

Oh my God, yes!

You decided to come. [sighs]
We're gonna have so much fun.

Tamp down the exuberance.

This is merely a cover for my
ongoing m*rder investigation.

A Wednesday slay-cation.

[yelps, sighs]

Scram, psycho,
before my claws slip.

Don't get your fur
ba*ls in a snarl.

I'm assisting Wednesday.

I managed to triangulate the
exact coordinates of the cabin.

It's a brisk 30-minute
hike from our camp.

I took the liberty of
plotting multiple routes.

She tried to k*ll me, remember?

Yes, but she failed, which
proves she's only an amateur.

Ouch.

I... I deserved that.

Take my pack.

Secure me a window seat.

I'll be sleeping
with one eye open.

Don't bother, pup.

-You wouldn't see me coming anyway.
-[scoffs]

Ms. Addams, I was glad to see your
last-minute addition to our adventure.

Why the change of heart?

In my experience, someone
always dies in the woods.

Perhaps we'll get lucky.

[chuckles]

["I Walked with a
Zombie" playing]

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ Last night ♪

[groovy folk rock playing]

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ I walked with a zombie ♪

♪ Last night ♪

[song trails off]

Despite my attempts to exsanguinate,
you're not completely bloodless.

Sis, what... what's up?

What's with the vampire coffin?

Uh...

I used it to smuggle
signal flares and gasoline.

You know, for the forest fire?

You mean campfire.

Wh... Whatever. As long
as something burns.

[Slurp snarls, whimpers]

[car horn tooting
Chopin's funeral march]

[sweeping, morbid music swells]

[Gomez] Hello, my
pernicious prodigy.

Don't you find the smell of fresh air
positively nauseating? [chuckling]

To what do we owe this
ghastly apparition?

[Gomez] The call went out
for parent chaperones,

and I've spent my fair share
of time under nature's canopy.

You know the concrete
jungle doesn't count.

What's she doing here?

Her idea of "communing with nature" is
deadheading roses in the greenhouse.

[Gomez] I thought we'd
make it a family affair.

Pugsley and I can engage in
some father and son bonding.

Uh, no... no thanks, Dad.

I... I think I'm going
to stick with Eugene.

Lurch, can you give me a hand?

[Lurch lows]

Maybe you two could work it out.

[adventurous music playing]

[jauntily macabre music playing]

You have the look of a predator.

Allow me to be
your helpless prey.

Not now, caro mio.

Tish, I hate seeing you so out of sorts.
Maybe you should give Wednesday the book.

I know your instinct is to
give in to her, but we can't.

I can deal with the venomous
resentment, but I won't lose her.

And darling,

I need your full support.

[quirky, lively music playing]

[Eugene] Thanks for
setting up the tent.

Out here, the
world's my terrarium.

What's with the bottle rockets?

Early warning system.

For what?

[rapid thumping]

[Eugene yelps]

What's Slurp doing here?

It's like you said. We
couldn't leave him on his own.

So you brought him camping in the
woods with all our classmates?

Relax. If he tries to
escape, we'll know.

That's it. I'll bunk
with the other guys.

I'm not sleeping with a zombie.

Zombies don't sleep. Duh.

[Gomez] Hello?

Hello, boys. I
come bearing gifts.

[chuckles]

So, your mother packed
some homemade trail mix.

Extra earthworms,
bugs, dirt, toenails.

Everything you'd
find on the trail.

Cool. Thanks.

[muffled growling]

Just my stomach.

Good timing with the snacks.

So, are you going to invite me
in so I can inspect your tent?

No... No.

Eugene just let one rip.

Yeah, it smells like
someone died in there.

So, if you get in trouble,

remember the first
rule of camping.

Leave no trace.

[whispers] Especially
the bodies.

[stilted, anxious laughter]

Good one, Mr. Addams.

For the next two days,

Camp Jericho

is now known as...

Camp Outcast!

[Dort whoops]

This is a new annual
tradition at Nevermore.

A wilderness retreat that
promotes community building,

team spirit,

and most importantly...

Outcast pride!

Yes!

At Camp Outcast, there
are no cell phones.

And no Normies for miles.

[whistle blowing shrilly]

[stern voice] Incorrect!

I beg to differ with
your last point.

Ron Kruger,

Phoenix cadet master.

I reserved this
campground six months ago

for my annual Camp CLAW.

Cadets... what does CLAW mean?

[cadets] Camping, learning,
adventure, wilderness!

We have a signed contract.

Which means you need to pack your
tents and vacate the woods immediately.

Well, I also have a contract

signed by the camp's owner.

Old Jack. Yeah, he
retired to Orlando.

His sons run the business now.

Must have double-booked.

Sounds like Normie incompetence.

Well, see you around, Sarge.

I've been preparing these
boys for the last 364 days

for my ultimate
wilderness challenge.

That is happening this weekend!

Cadets, help them pack and load.

Outcast taillights
at 1600 hours.

[cadets] Sir, yes, sir!

[air horn blaring]

[cheekily sinister
music playing]

If you and your dead-eyed drones
want this campground so badly,

then fight us for it.

Excuse me?

Winner takes all.
Loser goes home.

[Dort] I like the sound of that.

Unless you and your boys are
not up for the challenge.

Okay, pigtails.

We speak the same language.

What are you proposing?

In an unexpected
change to our schedule,

I am announcing the first
Cadets vs. Outcast color w*r.

Each side will have their own team
zephyr, designed by our DaVinci students.

[Kruger] The rules of
engagement are simple.

The teams will comprise
of up to ten members.

They will be divided into
defenders and attackers.

The defenders will hold the
other side's zephyr hostage.

The attackers are allowed to recapture
the zephyr by any means necessary.

[Dort] Once a team has
reclaimed their zephyr,

they will fire a flare.

Then it's a race to the
finish, across Ciderback Falls,

back here to the lookout tower.

The first team to place their zephyr
on the tripod at the top wins.

You have five minutes to
select your teammates.

Guess the Nightshades are back.

-Bruno and I want in.
-[Eugene] So do I.

Ah, man.

I'm sorry. This is a
Nightshades-only team.

-But, sure. Go ahead.
-So what's the plan?

Well, we can guard the zephyr.

I'll stone and you can siren
anyone who gets near us.

The rest of us will
be on the attack.

[Kruger] Good luck, freaks!

[Wednesday] I only traded my bed
for a tent to find Galpin's cabin.

A troop of testosterone-fueled jarheads
is not compromising that mission.

Noah, Dylan, Griffin, Jasper.

You're gonna form a perimeter.

-Don't let those freaks get through.
-Sir, yes, sir!

[Kruger] I've hidden some unsanctioned
military supplies to even the odds.

Bailey, you'll lead
our strike squad.

Victory is the only
acceptable outcome.

Sir, yes, sir!

Defeat is not an option.

-[cadets] Sir, yes, sir!
-I don't hear you!

Sir, yes, sir!

[crowd clamoring]

-[Enid] Good luck, guys!
-[team member] Ajax, this way.

-Attack squad, split off.
-Yes, sir. Let's go!

[spirited, patriotic
music playing]

-Focus, cadet.
-Yes, sir!

I can't siren them while
they're wearing headphones.

Aim for the gorgon's beanie.

[distressing music intensifies]

No.

Close your eyes!

I got it! Fire the flare!

-Come on!
-[whoops]

[flare whistling, crackling]

Green flare. The cadets
got their zephyr.

[grouses]

Come on!

[cadet] Yeah!

[cheering continues]

Call in the hounds.

[distressing music continues]

Come on!

-[Bruno] Watch out!
-It's tear gas!

[Enid, Bruno coughing]

[cadet laughing]

Signal air support.

["Ride of the
Valkyries" playing]

[bold, imposing
classical music playing]

[cadets exclaiming]

[muffled grunting, groaning]

[cadet] Get it... Get it off!

[scream echoing]

[triumphant horns resounding]

[Wednesday] Takes more
than chemical warfare

to bring tears to my eyes.

[music crescendos, halts]

Purple flare! Wednesday
got the zephyr!

Yes! [laughs]

[adventurous music playing]

But Wednesday's so far behind.

[cadet] Come on!

Come on, come on!

Come on, let's go.

Whoo, yeah!

[Enid panting]

What's the plan?

What? Come on.

Come on, let's go.

Yeah!

[Dort whoops]

[crowd exclaims]

[triumphant music surges]

[music swells, trails off]

[Wednesday] Galpin's cabin's approximately
two and a half miles east from the camp.

Be on alert for our
black-winged tormentor's return.

If we leave now, we can get back
before anyone realizes we've gone.

Joining the campfire festivities
this evening, Ms. Addams?

I usually enjoy cruel and
unusual punishments. Not tonight.

Most people would have FOMO.

"Fear of missing out."

I have FOBI. "Fear
of being included."

Well...

I just wanted to say thank you
for standing up to those normies.

For someone who professes
to be anti-social,

you accomplished
in one afternoon

what a thousand trust
exercises never could.

So thank you.

[Kruger] I've got one word
for your performance today.

Pathetic!

Sir, yes, sir!

You got outplayed by a
pint-sized teenage Outcast!

A female, no less!

How does that make you feel?

The correct answer is worthless!

Thank you for your
valuable feedback, sir!

You've been crushed...
and humiliated in battle.

But a phoenix always
rises in defeat!

Tonight,

we recapture Camp Jericho!

Sir, yes, sir!

[acoustic cover of "Bad
Moon Rising" playing]

[Capri] ♪ I see the
bad moon a-rising ♪

Thank you.

♪ I see trouble on the way ♪

♪ I see earthquakes
and lightnin' ♪

♪ I see bad times today ♪

♪ Don't go 'round tonight ♪

♪ Well, it's bound
to take your life ♪

[Capri, Morticia] ♪ There's
a bad moon on the rise ♪

♪ I hear hurricanes a-blowing ♪

♪ I know the end
is coming soon ♪

♪ I fear the river's
overflowing ♪

♪ I hear the voice
of rage and ruin ♪

Every mirror has a dark side.

[dark, suspenseful
music playing]

Patricia Redcar.

Bronte Wigan.

Julian Meiojas.

These are all
Outcast obituaries.

Some died more
than 15 years ago.

All Willow Hill patients.

"Lois."

If she's the one targeting Outcasts,
Enid could be her next victim.

[jittery audio distortion]

[exhales]

Goody's book is the only
way to get my ability back.

I've asked nicely. It's time
to try something more pointed.

[Capri, Morticia] ♪ Well,
it's bound to take your life ♪

♪ There's a bad
moon on the rise ♪

♪ The rise ♪

♪ Oh, there's a bad moon ♪

♪ On the rise ♪

[group cheering]

Thank you.

You have a beautiful
voice, Mrs. Addams.

Oh.

I usually only sing at funerals.

[Bianca gulps]

Oh! [Dort chuckles] Is this an
impromptu fundraising meeting?

No.

But I did reach
out to my mother.

Oh!

Um, I know that she hasn't been an
active donor for many years now.

Were you able to convince
her to reconsider?

She didn't take my call.

Well, perhaps we could
invite her to campus.

Face-to-face is always better.

It sounds like you have a
complicated relationship.

Oh, she's very uncomplicated.

She likes to manipulate every situation,
and I refuse to play her game.

Well, look around you, Mrs. Addams.
This is what Nevermore is about.

You think you could maybe
set aside your differences

and extend an olive branch?

Mama would only accept hemlock.

Hmm.

After we cage the pups,

we're gonna sneak down to the
lake for a midnight swim. You in?

[Enid chuckles softly]

[Ajax] How long have
we been broken up?

I know that gorgons
can be kind of slow,

but I guess I just didn't
want to believe it.

You're right, Ajax.

I should have told you when school
started that my feelings had changed.

-Was it something that I did?
-No.

Just, over the summer,

I realized I wasn't that insecure
girl who thought she'd never fit in.

But I like that girl.

I know.

And she wolfed out.
And found herself.

You never gave me a heads-up.

I wish we could have just
talked about it before you...

before you moved on without me.

I'm really sorry.

I just didn't expect things
with Bruno to heat up so fast.

You remember that
day in Uriah's Heap?

I guess squirrels and rats
can't work out after all.

[delicate, plaintive
music playing]

I kinda feel bad
for that gorgon.

-[cadet] Me too.
-Let's move out.

[plucky, patriotic
music playing]

[music trails off]

[Morticia humming]

[stops humming]

Wednesday,

you missed all the
campfire activities.

Then my timing is perfect.

Are you here to talk?

We don't solve anything
in this family with words.

We do it with deeds.

Most of them dirty.

Case in point, your
theft of Goody's book.

I'm giving you one last
chance to return it to me.

You know I won't do that.

Then you leave me no choice.

I'm challenging you
to a duelo-a-ciegas.

You want to cross
blades in a blind duel?

I feel your grand mama's bony
fingerprints all over this gambit.

I know you two
have been talking.

She used to pit me against
Ophelia in the same way.

This has nothing to
do with Grandmama.

It has to do with you
crossing boundaries.

We duel tonight,
under the full moon.

Do you accept my challenge?

There's my little landmine.

[Gomez chuckling]

Darling,

Wednesday and I are going
to sword fight in the woods

and settle our differences.

[gasps]

Music to my ears.

I'm going to shower in
one of the rustic stalls.

Have fun.

[Gomez chuckling]

[Kruger] Secure this outer
perimeter of tents first.

Tie up the Outcasts using
your superior knotting skills.

Sir,

we don't think this
is such a good idea.

They did win fair and square.

[scoffs] Who the hell told you to
think? That's how you get k*lled.

Your survival depends
on following orders.

My orders.

Watch and observe.

It's all about
stealth and surprise.

Go! Go! Go!

You boys are with me.

[Kruger] Hut, hut, hut...

-[fireworks crackling]
-[grunts]

[snarls]

[patriotic music playing]

[all screaming]

[bellows]

[shrieks]

[fleshy crunch]

[horrified yelling]

-Slurp.
-Slurp.

[chuckles]

That's my boy.

El duelo-a-ciegas is a
very old Addams tradition.

The outcome of this
duel shall be binding.

I'm aware of the consequences.

Thing will be our witness.

I figured it's best to
keep it within the family.

On that we agree.

[keen rasping]

Whoever pierces the other's
glass heart first wins.

If I win,

you return Goody's book.

And if I win...

I will burn it.

[tantalizing flamenco
guitar playing]

Are you sure you
want to do this?

[tinkling]

[Eugene] I knew we
should've told someone.

Slurp was more
your friend anyway.

Harboring a murderous zombie will get
both your butts expelled for sure.

-Ugh.
-What are you doing here?

Proving myself to your sister by
handling her low-priority tasks.

Like keeping you alive.

[Pugsley scoffs]

We need to find Slurp.

No way.

I'm out of the zombie business.

Relax. Slurp never
tried to eat my brain.

Because that would
be empty calories.

Look, the last time I was alone
with a monster in the woods,

I ended up in a coma.

Stop bragging.

[foils ringing]

[tantalizing music continuing]

You're getting rusty, Mother. I
can practically hear you creak.

[rich chuckle]

Still bringing a knife
to a sword fight?

Mmm.

You taught me everything I know.

But I didn't teach
you everything I know.

[dreadful music booming]

[sensuous bolero
music playing faintly]

["Bésame Mucho" playing]

♪ Bésame ♪

[singing along to
record] ♪ Bésame mucho ♪

♪ Como si fuera esta noche ♪

♪ La última vez ♪

♪ Bésame mucho ♪

Patience, corazón ardiente.

[laughs indulgently]

The country air made
somebody frisky.

[chuckling]

Oh-h*, ooh...

Ooh!

Oh!

Oh, you are a tigress tonight.

Axe play...

[rich laughter]

Let me get...

Oh! Whoa!

No, Slurp! Not my dad!

♪ ...mucho ♪

♪ Que ten go miedo perderte ♪

Whoa.

♪ Perderte... ♪

Let me through. Let me through.

What happened?

♪ Amor... ♪

[crowd screaming]

[Dort] Go! Get back
in your tents! Run!

[singer holds final note]

[song halts]

[eerie, suspenseful
music playing]

[raspy snarling]

[dramatic, intense
music playing]

[fragments tinkling]

I'm sorry, darling.

[breathing steadily]

[measured inhale]

[Wednesday] Teenage zombies,

sanctimonious scout masters...

[dark, lush instrumental cover
of "Losing My Religion" playing]

Camping is even more
savage than I imagined.

Turns out nature doesn't
bring us together.

It rips us apart.

It devours the weak,

leaving the strong
to stumble on.

Defeated by my mother.

Robbed of Goody's book.

Drained of my ability.

[crow caws]

[Wednesday] I am no
closer to saving Enid.

I'm exposed to a predator
that's always watching.

Hiding in plain sight.

Waiting for the
right time to strike.

Time is running out
on this investigation.

Why was Galpin keeping
track of deceased Outcasts?

Who is Lois?

And how is she tied to
Enid's impending death?

Two roads diverge in the woods.

I must take the
road less travelled.

And that road

leads to Willow Hill.

Dr. Fairburn, the transfer
is here. I put them in 3989.

I want extra
security on this one.

They're extremely dangerous.
Responsible for at least two homicides.

I'm authorizing 24-hour
surveillance monitoring.

We can take
absolutely no chances.

Welcome to Willow Hill.

[jauntily macabre
outro music playing]

[music ends]