02x01 - Who's Your Daddy

[bunniefuu]

And they lived happily ever after.

One more story, Dad, please?

Okay.

Once upon a time, there were three bears.

Now there's lots of them.

Good night, Max.

Hey, Grandpa's on the phone.

Say happy birthday.

Hi, Grandpa.

Happy birthday.

Oh, and thanks for sending me those really small tweezers.

Grandpa says those came with the whole Swiss Army knife.

Give me a moment.

Hey, Daddy.

George wants to say hi.

Happy birthday, Vic.

I was gonna say thanks for the Swiss Army knife,

but apparently you didn't send it to me. Bye.

I gotta go, Daddy. The kids are getting ready for bed.

Bye, Grandpa!

All right, Max. Lights out.

I wish Grandpa didn't live so far away.

You really love him, don't you?

Yeah.

You know, if my dad were alive,

were alive, he could beat up Grandpa Vic.

Your dad was the best dad, huh?

Damn straight.

And I was the most important

thing in his life.

George, tell your mom

I'll be home around five, and don't give her

a hard time. Dad, do you

have to go to work today?

George, you know this is

my first day in the big leagues, and I

can't miss...

You know what?

The Dodgers can live without me one more day.

Let's go grab some Otter Pops.

We'll catch some early surfing,

then we'll head over to Disneyland.

Hey, what do you say this time you drive?

Dad, you're a good baseball player.

How come you never played in the big leagues?

Nobody wanted to be an athlete back then.

Kids in my day dreamed about working in an airplane parts factory.

And I'm living that dream.

What else did Grandpa do?

The thing that amazed me about your grandpa was that he could handle any emergency.

Dad, Dad, Gilbert, stop breathing!

Give me some.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

You swallowed a marble, sport.

Start keeping your marbles.

It was brand new, personalized marble bag I got you.

Wow!

You gave me that bag, but it doesn't say George.

It says Crown Royal.

That's because I was his little king.

But it wasn't just baseball and saving lives

My dad loved the house to be filled with music

You know next year when your hands are a little bigger

I'll teach you to play

What's that song, Dad?

It's just a little something I wrote

My boy George

How come you never wrote a song called My Boy Max?

I did

You hear it all the time

They just change the words

If you're happy and you know it, my boy Max

All right, I never learned to play

My dad died in a car accident that summer

I wish I had met him

Me too, Max

He was the greatest guy in the world

George, why do you do that?

Do what?

Every time you tell these stories about your dad

They're a little different

Eventually he's gonna catch on

Angie, what am I supposed to tell him?

That my father abandoned me when I was a baby?

Well, it's the truth

You know, and all these fantastic stories

Are gonna be hard to explain

When he grows up and finds out that

Your father was, you know

an unemployed gambler who was k*lled by alcohol.

He wasn't k*lled by alcohol.

He was hit by a beer truck.

I'm telling Max about the kind of father I wish I had.

Somebody he could be proud of.

George, he's got somebody to be proud of.

He's got you.

And that's enough.

You really think so?

Yes. You're a good role model.

You're hard working.

Wait a second.

I'm not playing this game.

But it's a good game.

And the winner gets to get busy with me.

I don't know if I feel like getting busy tonight.

You know, I just don't feel cute,

and I don't look that sexy.

Yes, you do. Are you kidding? You always look hot.

Wait a second. Now you're doing it.

All my friends know the lowrider

The lowrider is a little higher

I told you the money in the fountain doesn't belong to you.

It's for wishes.

But my wish was to get all the money in the fountain.

Excuse me.

Um, what's wrong with your dog?

He's sick.

Shouldn't he be at the vet?

Oh, no. I know how that works.

I give you money, but instead of getting the dog medical care,

you go out and buy boots.

Mom, please don't do this. You're harassing a homeless guy.

Whoa. Is that big box your house?

Lucky.

Where is the water and shelter for this animal?

It's in my vacation box at the beach.

I'll give you $20 for him.

Are you serious? Take him.

Mom, I can't believe you're doing this.

Why do you have to get involved with every lost cause?

This dog is not a lost cause.

Look at him.

I just want to hug him.

Ew.

Thank you.

Mom, what do you think his name is?

I don't know, sweetheart.

We can call him anything we want.

Goodbye, stinky box man.

I love stores like this.

Ooh, five gallons of mayonnaise for $5.

You know, this jar is so big,

when I'm done, they can bury me in it.

Mom, you haven't been five gallons since you were 20.

Hey, George.

Hey, Ernie.

What are you doing here?

Oh, my mom wanted to see the new buyer's warehouse.

Yeah, mine too.

Are we pathetic or what?

Hey, George is only here to reach the high stuff.

You're here because you still live with your mom, you freak.

Hey, I'm not just here shopping.

I'm scoping out the ladies.

I'm gonna buy you underwear. Hold my purse.

Nice purse, new underwear.

I think I'm falling for you.

Shut up!

Shut up!

This way. This way. This way!

What are you doing? Turn this around.

What's going on? No, we gotta leave.

Leave right now. Leave the cart. Who's that?

Nobody. Come with me now or I'm leaving without you.

Oh, my God. Benny?

Benny Lopez?

I've never seen my mother run from somebody before.

Your mother?

Georgie Lopez!

Oh, it's been so long!

Oh, how drunk was I?

You look just like your dad.

I'd know that big head anywhere.

You knew my dad?

Of course I knew your dad. He's my brother.

I'm your Aunt Cecilia.

I haven't seen you since you were a baby.

My mom never told me I had an aunt.

I'm not surprised.

But I did send you gifts on your birthday.

Oh, my God!

You're the poison cookie lady!

I got so many questions about my dad.

He died when I was so young.

Died?

Manny isn't dead.

What are you talking about?

I mean, I lost touch with him a couple of years ago

But last I heard, he was living somewhere in Northern California

So you're saying my mom's been lying to me my whole life?

George! George!

Fantastic news!

Ernie, this is my aunt

She just told me my dad's alive

Okay, I got relatively good news

What did the doctor say, Mom?

What does he have?

It'd be easier to tell you what he doesn't have.

His dog is diabetic.

He has kidney stones, arthritis, cataracts,

and something called erupting tail acne.

Mom, how do I say this?

Blech!

Carmen, the little guy may be sick,

but we brought him home,

and now it's our job to nurse him back to health.

He deserves all the love and affection that we can give.

Don't touch him!

I can't touch our dog?

Of course you can, honey.

But he's got mange.

You just have to use, uh...

the petting stick.

We'll burn it when he's back.

Angie, I gotta talk to you.

Kids, go outside.

What's that smell?

It's our new dog.

Oh, he doesn't smell new.

Look, George, I know you don't want a dog,

but he was living on the street and it was...

No, no, can we talk about this later?

Get his leash and take him for a walk.

He can't walk.

Okay, then take him outside and squeeze him till he pees.

But take the strainer in case he passes a kidney stone.

So what's going on?

Angie, my father's alive.

What?

He's alive. My mom lied to me.

Are you kidding me?

No, I met my dad's sister,

and she told me that he's living in Northern California.

Well, what did your mom say?

She didn't say anything.

She ran out as soon as she saw my aunt.

How crazy is this?

I never thought I'd be able to talk to him

or see him with my own eyes.

Now it could happen.

Come in.

Excuse me, are you Manny Lopez?

Yes

I'm Georgie, my little boy

Mom told me you were dead

She told me you were dead

I guess I won't be needing this anymore

My prayers have been answered

I think I want to see him.

Honey, I'm not sure that's a good idea.

You really don't know anything about this guy.

What if he turns out to be somebody you don't want in your life?

Did you call the cops on me again?

Look, we're just having a little family squabble, okay?

I'm not the police.

Who the hell are you?

I'm George, your son.

Holy crap.

What does somebody have to do to get away from me?

Wow, Angie, this is messed up.

I don't think you should look for him.

That's easy for you to say.

You had a father your whole life.

I just don't want you to get hurt.

Well, whoever he is, my mother should have told me about him.

I mean, who knows what else she's lied to me about.

Maybe Santa Claus does like Mexican kids.

Hey, do you see my mom?

She ditched carpool this morning.

No, I can't see anything but the future Mrs. Ernesto Cardenas.

Who's that?

I don't know, but I'll tell you this.

I'd k*ll you for her.

Can I help you with something?

Hi, you must be George.

I'm your new assistant manager.

Bill Powers hired me.

Well, you must be somebody pretty special

to get the owner of the company's attention, miss.

Powers.

Camel Powers.

Well, you changed your name to the owner's last name.

You really are a team player.

Look, I'm the owner's niece,

but I don't want anyone to be threatened by that.

I'm qualified.

I went to school.

This is my B.A. from UCLA

and my M.B.A. from Pepperdine.

I got a plaque, too.

Mine sings.

Now look, I gotta get out of here, but make yourself at home.

I'm sure you got a lot to do your first day, filling out paperwork, sending up emails.

Did it. Came in at six.

Oh. I still want to leave.

Hey, Mom.

I'm working. What do you want?

I don't know. A cup of coffee? A muffin?

A reason why you told me my dad was dead for 36 years?

Here's a muffin. One out of three ain't bad.

Oh, no.

I tried to call you all last night, and you ducked me this morning.

You're not walking away. We're gonna talk about this now.

Really? What are you gonna do about it? Hit me?

Come on. Hit me.

Mom, you're a crazy person.

You'd rather fight me than tell me the truth.

Hey, come on. Let's take this outside.

I don't want to embarrass you in front of your little friends.

All I want is a straight answer.

Why didn't you tell me my father was alive?

It was none of your business.

None of my business.

You know what?

Why you got a pair of men's shoes in your trunk

is none of my business.

How you got a Tupac Lives bumper sticker on your car

is none of my business.

Not letting me know I have a father,

I think that's my business.

I had a right to know.

Okay.

How would you get a four-year-old to stop asking,

where's my daddy, where's my daddy?

After the thousandth time he asks,

you say to him, your father's dead.

I'm not four anymore.

I deserve an answer.

Fine.

Where's my dad?

He's dead. Aren't you glad we did this?

You know what? I'm gonna find him.

Sure. You go look for him.

You know what you're gonna find?

A man who doesn't give a damn about you.

You don't know that.

He never loved you. He never even held you.

George, I know this isn't a good time,

but I can't get that rubber fish to stop singing.

I'm sorry, Campbell. I can't deal with that right now.

I got things to sort out.

Still funny.

OK, I'm gonna show everybody how to give the dog his insulin shot.

You know, we learn through doing. You give him the shot.

Here, you're a boy, you're gross, you do it.

I'm just a kid. I'm not doing it.

George, I called and you left work two hours ago.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

Just been driving around for a while thinking.

And eating and thinking.

I'm not gonna look for my dad.

Are you sure?

I talked to my mom and for one she made sense.

The guy left and he had all these years to find me.

If he doesn't care about me, why should I care about him?

Mom, I just can't give the dog a shot.

I can't be around you pansies.

George, the dog needs his insulin.

If he doesn't get it, he'll go into a coma.

sh*t, what's he in now?

Hey!

I'm pretty good at this.

You kids want a shot?

Hello, Benita.

Cecilia.

It's been a long time.

Uh-huh.

Let me in, Benny.

Make me.

Okay.

Come on in, Cecilia.

It's been over 30 years.

You haven't got one nice thing to say to each other?

It was worth a try.

Cecilia, you want to stay for dinner?

I'm not going to stay.

I was just going through some old things,

and I found these pictures of your father.

Thought you might want them.

What's he holding?

That's you.

That's me.

You know why he's holding you?

Because he just traded in your crib for some weed.

I'm going to find him.

What you got there?

My aunt Cecilia brought some pictures by.

It's my dad holding me.

You have his smile.

I do, don't I?

I guess you couldn't sleep either, huh?

Yeah, you and me.

Both got a lot going on inside.

I got these mixed feelings about my dad,

and you got ringworm and a bladder infection.

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of nervous.

I mean, what's gonna happen if I find him?

Is he gonna be happy to see me?

Is he gonna be proud of me?

Hmm.

You know, you're all right.

You're a good listener.

It's like you understand exactly what I'm saying.

Like you're following my every word.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

You can have some salami,

but you're gonna have to come and get it.

You can do it, dude.

I believe in you.

Come on.

Come on.

Don't make me get the shovel.

Don't make me get the shovel.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Good boy.

He just needed a little motivation.

I learned that shovel thing from my mom.

You know, if fish could sing,

that's exactly what they'd sound like.

Yeah.

Listen, man, I gotta get home to Angie and the kids.

Yeah, me too.

I gotta take my mom to her doctor's appointment.

One more time.

Thank you.