01x05 - Hon verkar vidrig

[bunniefuu]

I feel completely empty without you.

Sorry, I'm late on this one.

This is Narin,
who will take care of you, Line.

Hello.

Hello.

It's a romantic massage, after all.
so we use strong essential oils.

I just wanted to check if you guys
have allergies that we should know about.

No. Or, I have no allergies,
but you are...

I have a slight reaction to lavender,
but it's not that bad.

Perfect.

Well, here we go.

This... is a while...

...where you can relax.

To interweave your senses-

-and let you share
this lovely moment...

...in full harmony.

- Ouch!
- Oops. Pardon.

God, how beautiful.

I'm having a little trouble catching my breath.
It's not that important, but...

- Ouch!
- Hey, just relax.

Is it you or me
who are trained masseuses?

Narine.

Yes, it's you
but you are hurting her...

But if you think about
that she hurt me first?

Julia, it's no problem.
It is so nice.

- No, stop it.
- Should I stop completely, Line?

Or do you deserve this?

- Narin, shall we take five minutes?
- No, she must answer the question.

Do you deserve this?

We are on a date. Everything is great.

When I pay my share of
the bill, so where do I find you?

Yeah, you're talking to someone else
girl at the same restaurant!

You make it sound worse,
than it actually was.

And now you're here with a third girl.

- Not even a day has passed!
- Line, what is she talking about?

It was just something that happened yesterday.
A misunderstanding.

It wasn't a misunderstanding!
Just blame the drugs.

It doesn't work on me.
Do you know what you are? A f*cking pig!

What do we do now? Should you...

...fix us both, or?

Julia? Pardon!

Oh boy. Are you done already?

No, but... I hate to be
rude but i have to go.

Okay. What a shame.

I am very grateful for
you took me with you

So... That you fixed it all
and such, after all.

And I just want to say, I hope
you get a nice last time.

- Now I'm not quite there.
- Julia...

I mean, with your situation.

So, with your cancer and such.

What...? Or...

Should I have cancer?

Julia...

- I can explain it.
- Damn, how low.

Line, you have to explain this to me.

Rather not.

- Excuse me, are there commercials?
- Yes.

I've had a worse shitty day.

A crap month, indeed,
so I would appreciate…

...that you respected the sign,
where it says "No ads, please".

There is no such sign.

- Of course.
- No. "An advertisement, please".

You must understand then,
that it is scraped off?

- I have to go by what it says.
- But who writes "an advertisement, please".

I do not know. You obviously have
done, so you have to ask yourself.

Did mother come by train?

Either Julia blocked me
or deleted his Facebook profile.

- What do you think?
- I don't want to answer that at all.

Mom gave me this.

sh*t. I guess she hasn't
disinherited you, right?

I've ruined everything.

But it might be a good thing,
that it happened.

Julia will never speak to me again.

No. That's exactly what I mean.

It's like closed now.
It's such an obvious ending.

And you can
actually thank Narin for.

She has blocked me too.

You know what?
I think you're super cool.

I'm not cool, I'm pathetic.

No you are not. And do you know why?

Because you never give up.

And that will make
that you can do this.

Yes, there have been bumps in the road
and too much Julia focus, but…

You've been hanging on to this one anyway
bang task for almost a month.

And you've even done it pretty well.

Do you think?

Yes. You are cool.

Thanks.

I must have succeeded in something.

Calm down, you're not even halfway there.

The roller coaster continues! Choo-choo!

- Now tell me who I'm going to meet.
- No.

It's not someone with kids, is it?
I hate children.

- They know everything about one.
- No, it's not someone with children.

- Then tell me who it is.
- Its a secret.

I can say this.
You will be disappointed.

- What?
- Yes, that is actually the intention.

I got inspiration from this.

A car commercial?

That's the point:
"Opposites attract".

Thank God I scraped
the "no ads" sign off.

- Otherwise I wouldn't have come up with it.
- Was it you?

Yes Yes. "The Rainforest Weeps",
and blah blah blah.

Don't you understand that we have
thought wrong all along?

I have tried
to match you with someone you like.

I thought,
it would increase the bang potential.

- But we have to do it the other way around.
- Elin...

Then you will be
so attracted to each other that…

I doubt it. In that case
had we been a perfect match.

Stop yourself. Don't say such a thing.

- So tell me who I'm going to meet.
- Okay.

Let me introduce Matilda.

Twenty-eight years. Describes himself as
"a successful entrepreneur".

Taking in other words
itself too seriously.

Likes meat
and hates lazy people.

- But she sounds disgusting.
- Exact. She is perfect.

How can people go here though?

- This is where I usually stay.
- Well...

I can see that it is a little
urban chic, but... No.

It's probably the clientele,
that feels wrong.

Poor people make me uncomfortable.

- Oh...
- Yes exactly. "Ouch".

"Why don't you have any money,
and why must you show it?"

It's a bit like the fat ones.
You just think:

“Don't feel sorry for yourself.
Do something about it."

I just have to pee.

- This won't work.
- Of course.

You should read more in mother's book.
"Anything goes if you want it to."

I do not want. She is terrible.

Stop it. Give her a chance.
It will be the bang of your life.

Did you know that sex drive
is closely related to pure anger?

- Good if you don't like her.
- That's not the problem.

- You can just see there.
- I almost hate her.

Even better. Come on.

You can take a breather every now and then.

Think of the reward, Line.
The bang of your life.

- Such.
- It took a long time.

Yes. Do you want a beer?

No. I think,
beer is a bit too working class.

You think so.

If animals would not be eaten,
why are they made of meat?

They have to choose it.

This one cost 3.5 I think.
The shoes were probably worth four thousand.

Got it from Dad for Father's Day.
It is probably on...

Menstrual pain is just that
weakness leaving the body.

You live on the street, but you have a mobile phone.
Just how believable is it?

I think we should have closed areas.
After all, everyone has a choice.

There you were! I have to go. It feels,
as if everyone here has hepatitis.

Shall we move on?

- Don't say I didn't try.
- I'm not saying that.

- You just didn't try hard enough.
- I did my best.

Right now you could be in the middle of a hot-

-otherworldly tantra marathon,
but instead you are here.

And buy dishcloths.

But you get another chance.
See her here.

- No, I can't take it anymore.
- Of course you do.

We do the opposite. I have a,
there are exactly like you. Ebba.

- Do we have the same profile text?
- Yes.

And same shoe size,
same favorite song and same humor.

It's almost uncomfortable.
And you actually look alike too.

- Well, maybe.
- Look here. It is you.

Or, maybe not so much.

You have the same eyelids.
Same weight in them.

- There she is!
- No, it's you. But if you miss...

- No, her.
- Who?

- Her from the outside, with the bike.
- You must be more specific.

- Don't turn around!
- Hey!

- Hello.
- Hello. Thanks for last.

Or... sorry.

No, that's fine. I have recovered.

It was mother.

When I had to go, it was
because my mother called.

Yes...

It's almost as if
we have the same shopping schedule.

Like a pee schedule.
When going to the toilet

-and you always meet the same person,
because you go to the toilet at the same time.

Exact. Soul mates, maybe.

Yes. Soon we will probably have synchronized menses
and finish each other's sentences.

Becca? What is the difference
between red and green pesto?

- Stuttering questions.
- There is probably tomato in the red one.

Maybe it is,
therefore there is a tomato on it.

- Stuttering logic.
- Let's use it for dinner.

- I'll make it. Then you escape.
- Cool.

Yes hello.

Hello.

I must...

- Yes...
- But good to see you... Jer.

- You too.
- Bye Bye. Thanks.

Why has everyone
good people boyfriends?

What? It is the most untrue,
you ever said.

You know what I mean.
Is my g*y radar that bad?

Sweetest friend.

You have no g*y radar.
You thought Winnie the Pooh was straight.

No, I said he was the least
h*m* in Hundredmeterskoven.

- Its not the same.
- No no. Okay, true.

Ebba has written!

Her only weakness so far
is that she wants to be seen in a tennis hall.

But it's in 30 minutes!
Does everything have to be done at the last second?

- Yes sorry. But you'll get there.
- Do I need to bring training clothes?

Probably, yes.

- Okay, see you later.
- See you later.

- What about Ninka Ninus?
- What?

Winnie the Pooh is
more g*y than Ninka Ninus.

Are you kidding?
Ninka Ninus is so l*sbian.

- What?
- Ninka Ninus is lebbe!

Reach...

- What do you do during the day?
- I work at a burger restaurant.

- Exciting.
- Yes, or...

It's quite depressing, actually.

No more than a cafe. But it is
just temporarily. I study.

So do I. Sociologist.
But I'm on sabbatical...

Sabbatical year? I have also had a sabbatical.

Straight from the teacher's seminary.
I can't with children.

Same here! They are so uncomfortable.
They are too small.

Exact.

It feels like we're pretty much the same
actually. Do not you think?

I've thought about that too.

Okay. Favorite color, of three.

One two Three!

- None.
- I have none.

Banana on pizza? One two Three.

- Yes.
- Banana on everything.

Official favorite movie? One two Three.

- "The Piano".
- "No food country".

Okay, but really.
One's real favorite movie.

One two Three.

- "High School Musical".
- "High School Musical" 1-3.

- Who won?
- No idea, I don't know the rules.

- I can not do that either.
- See?

Shall we try something cool?

- Swing with your socks?
- No, something fatter.

You liked that, huh?

- It's not lavender, is it?
- No.

But it's empty
so I just have to get something.

What happens here?

Hello!

Who are you?

Um, my name is Line.

We were like right in the middle of…

Do you know Ebba?

Yes a little. Um...

Ebba! You have visitors.

Miriam! You are home.

We gave up sleeping overnight.

Yes. Unexpected. But smart. Economic.

This is not
by the looks of it, you probably understand…

- You are so stupid in the head.
- No but...

You should probably go home.

Can you help me tie up...?

Let go of me! No! I forgave you
last time and then you do it again!

What is it that you do not understand
by "a monogamous relationship"?

- It is a matter of interpretation...
- No, it's not!

- Miriam...
- Shut up! Don't call me.

Miriam, wait!

Hello?

Ebba?

Hello?

- It could have been worse.
- I had to bite the b*llet.

It's pretty impressive, actually.

- How could I do that?
- I do not know.

It's pretty wild. You must
have insanely strong molars.

Stop it. Now I have
also destroyed their relationship.

You should have seen Miriam.
She was completely…

They had promised each other that.
You have to keep it that way.

Yes, but that's not your problem.
You haven't been unfaithful. Oh sh*t!

- No, it can't be her.
- Yes, it's her!

That can not be true.
Who was the guy in the shop then?

After all, it says: "Is between apartments
and currently lives with my brother."

"Looking for a serious relationship."

- That's fate!
- "The destiny." Not at all.

She wants serious relationship.
You don't want that. Give it to me.

- The destiny!
- What the hell are you doing?

After all, I had to manage the account.
Can I have it?

That was the deal. Give me the phone!

HI THERE