02x04 - Halloween Cheer

[bunniefuu]

Find who did this!

Avenge me!

Avenge me, too!

Don't worry.

We'll be together in the next world.

Unless Selma Hayek gets here before you.

Hey, we said del detu is part. After that, you're on your own.

Come on, Angie. This is my favorite holiday.

Mexicans take Halloween to the next level.

We get to dress up like skeletons.

It's the only time of the year we're thin.

Wait till you see what I got planned.

The treats are gonna be in this bowl

if anyone can get past the terror-ier.

Does the demon dog want his belly rubbed?

Yes, he does.

Yes, he does.

Stop it.

You're diminishing his evil.

Dad, show her what happens when people get close to the candy.

Take only one candy.

Mom, Dad, Toby's leaving now.

Oh, honey, we're so sorry you're moving to Omaha.

Thanks.

We're all gonna miss you.

Oh.

Yeah, but don't worry, we'll visit you up there.

Really? When?

Let's not spoil the surprise.

I gotta go.

I made this for you, so you'll never forget me.

I'm really gonna miss you.

Bye.

Look at her. This is horrible.

She just lost her best friend.

Let me talk to her.

Carmen.

I know you are going through something very difficult.

I know I don't have a hand to hold

or a shoulder to cry on.

But any time you want to talk,

I'm here for you

Or we could just watch the real world

Why do they always make the cowboy and the black guy roommates?

Uh-oh, somebody ate the l*sbian's yogurt

All my friends know the lowrider, the lowrider is a little higher.

All right, I'll handle it.

Damn.

What's up?

The Powers brothers want me to fire Reggie.

It's a problem.

He's a terrible employee.

I know, but if I fire him,

I won't have anybody to play Santa at the company party.

Excuse me, Santa.

I gotta go fire Reggie.

Reggie, can I talk to you in my office?

No, George, I can't.

I gotta get going home.

We had a big fire, almost the whole house.

Even my parrot, Janie, died.

The last thing the fireman heard was,

pretty bird pretty bird pretty bird

i'm sorry i'm sorry george what did you want to tell me nothing you better get going

hey i heard hey man the colonel fries birds every day nobody cries for them

So, girlfriend, how you living?

Great.

Making any friends?

Not trying.

So, what are you gonna do, sit on the couch forever?

Maybe.

Gonna take care of us when we get older?

Whatever.

Carmen, honey, I'm going to the mall.

You want to come with me?

I'll be in my room where it's quiet.

Hey, you got her off the couch.

This isn't good.

Come on, Angie. She's a kid.

She's going through something. Let her.

For now, but I'm telling you,

she needs to get her butt out the door

and make some new friends.

Hey, I didn't have a lot of friends in high school,

and I turned out fine.

I did! I turned out fine!

Hey, you passed my expectations

when you finished sixth grade.

What's 12 times 12?



Every time!

Amazing.

George, have you seen Reggie?

Is he still walking around with that shoebox full of bird ashes?

Yeah. You know, it's the weirdest thing.

It rattles.

The beak don't burn, Ernie. The beak don't burn.

You know what? The Powers brothers are gonna fire me

if I don't fire Reggie.

I gotta do it now.

Huh?

When you have a second.

You can't leave me.

No, you can't just throw away a marriage after ten years.

Listen, why don't we just talk?

What's going on, Reggie?

My wife is leaving.

Reggie...

Keep doing your thing, brother.

Till Friday.

Thanks for making my costume, Grandma.

Yeah, well, you know, I had 30 seconds to k*ll.

That's nice, yeah.

Oh, man.

That is one scary-a*s costume.

I like yours too, Max.

George, we gotta talk.

What?

It's been two weeks.

Hey, I work all day. I'm tired at night.

I can't just turn it on.

I'm talking about Carmen.

How long are we going to let her sit up there and mope?

You know, kids need to be kept busy,

or sooner or later they get into trouble.

There's a report out that says that most underage sex,

drinking, and hooliganism happens between 3 and 6 p.m.

Hooliganism?

How old is that report?

You know what she needs to do.

She needs some extracurricular activities.

Oh, here we go again.

I had a ton of activities and a ton of friends.

Yes, Miss Homecoming Queen, Head Cheerleader,

yearbook editor but where did all that popularity get you you married the guy with no friends

face it honey you peaked i know what you can make fun but i didn't have time to sit around

the house and do nothing and carmen is not gonna do that either i went to her school website look

look at all the stuff that she could be doing homecoming committee school newspaper pep squad

angie this is what should happen you should back off and let her find her own way well how long is

that going to take? If she's anything like me, she should get it together late 30s. Well,

I think we need to be a lot tougher on this girl. I am tired of babying her. What are

you doing? I'm taking her dinner. Carmen, dinner's here. You didn't knock. George, come

up here. Put that back up right where it was and don't move a muscle. What's wrong?

Have you lost your mind, Carmen?

Where did you get those?

Took them from Grandma Benny.

I was just gonna try one.

Exactly what time did you take them?

I don't know.

Sometime after 3 and before 6.

Ah!

What's all the commotion?

George is letting Carmen find her own way.

Let her find her own smokes.

You two, keep up the good work.

Angie, I understand we gotta do something, but why pep squad?

Because pep squad teaches you teamwork, discipline, you make friends,

and you can't cheer with a cigarette in your mouth.

Oh, it walks like a cheerleader, it's dressed like a cheerleader.

Well, it's ignoring me like a cheerleader.

Hey, I had to call in a lot of favors with your council to get you on that squad.

It's just a lucky thing that other girl transferred out.

I don't want to do this.

Carmen, stop worrying. You're going to do great.

This is all you've got to remember.

When you clap, send it out to the world.

Send it out to the world.

You still got your old pom-poms?

Because I got spirit. Yes, I do.

I got five minutes before work. How about you?

Bad news, dude.

Got another memo from the Powers brothers.

You're gone.

But you said planes need wings.

I know what I said.

But you're gone.

But I don't know how to do anything else.

And my parents count on my income.

We'll be out on the street.

Hey, you know what? We all got problems, man.

Clean out your locker.

How was that?

Unbelievable, right?

No.

I knew you were kidding.

Okay.

Now I'm ready.

Reggie, I need to talk to you.

Oh, good.

Because I need to talk to you, too.

Let me go first, man.

Don't interrupt me.

Okay, but I got good news.

Really? I'm in love.

It's amazing.

I go to see a divorce lawyer.

It turns out to be my high school sweetheart.

It's like we've never been apart.

So I'm gonna go, get a quickie divorced,

and then we are going to Vegas to tie the knot.

Oh, my heart has wings, George.

And I'm flying!

Oh, congratulations, man.

You're fired.

What?

No, no, you can't fire me, George.

I mean, things are just starting to go right.

I know. I'm sorry.

God, I feel terrible, Reggie.

I mean, this is the worst week of my life.

Man, I gotta fire my favorite employee.

My daughter's a hooligan.

My wife's been sending it out to the world.

You met my mom.

It's okay, buddy.

I understand.

You all right?

Are you leaving?

Yeah.

Then I'm okay.

Ravens, fans, yell, go! Go! Ravens, fans, yell, fight! Fight! Go! Ravens, fight! No stopping us! All right!

Hi. Hey, you must be Carmen. Everybody, meet Carmen.

Hi.

Hi!

I guess it's a little weird me getting in

because Patty transferred.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Patty didn't really get transferred.

She got knocked up.

But you look good in her uniform.

It's a little loose in the front.

I guess Patty was too.

Look, we know you have a lot of catching up to do,

so we'll do something simple first.

Let's try a call and response.

Okay, what do I do?

Well, we'll call out a line,

and then we'll point to you,

and you respond with, it's true, it's true.

Like, we're ravens, we're tight.

It's true, it's true.

It's true, it's true.

Yeah, okay, and then remember when you clap, send it out to the world.

Good girl.

Ready, okay.

We're ravens, we're tight.

It's true, it's true.

You Jeff us, we'll fight.

It's true, it's true.

There's Carmen, she's new.

It's true, it's true.

How did she get here?

Well, we'll tell you.

Her mommy came crying.

The counselor was buying.

And now we're stuck with a loser who sucks, which Carmen?

That Carmen.

It's true. You know it's true.

You're pretty fast. Try out for the track team.

Oh, man, check it out.

The hot witch filling out the candy bowl, you see.

Hey, Kaz, you're on door duty until Carmen gets back.

She's probably out hanging with her pep squad buddies.

Now I'm ignoring the c*ck witch

that's going over to the front door.

Da-dunk, da-dunk.

Trick or treat!

Well, man, it's good and the jello and the sass and frat.

Come on in, kids, and get candy.

Candy?

Did you ever stroke like my grandpa?

The kids say the darndest things.

Goodbye, Army boy.

Goodbye, snotty princess.

Hey, we need another pillowcase.

This one's full.

Hey, Max, you want some water, honey?

You must be hot under there.

You're not my grandma.

Oh, crap.

I'll be right back.

I'll take the car.

You go door to door.

I lost Grandma.

Oh.

It's okay, honey.

Uh, Grandma's fine.

What's she has on my candy?

Yeah, but she thinks you're lost,

and she's really worried,

and that's like candy to Daddy.

Oh, so, how'd it go?

I learned to cheer.

When I point to you, you say it's true, it's true.

Cool.

They called me a loser because Mom got me on the squad.

They hate me and don't want me there.

Oh, honey.

Do me a favor. Stay out of my life.

I gotta go talk to her.

No.

Let her cool off. I'll go up there in a minute.

George! George!

Has Max shown up yet?

No, Mom.

Oh, crap!

Da-da-da-da-da.

You know what would make you feel better is some pudding.

That's candy.

I know. I just like saying the word pudding.

You don't know how horrible it was

You've never been humiliated like that

Carmen, believe me

I know how mean kids can be

There were these guys at my neighborhood

They used to call me spuds

Because I was dark

I had really short hair

My head was kind of lumpy

I guess I looked like a potato

But that didn't give them a right

To hold me down and butter me

Well, maybe if someone held mom down

And buttered her

She wouldn't have made me do this

I bet no one's made fun of her

gosh she's so perfect

listen Carmen your mom was happy in high school

and she thought pep squad would do the same thing for you

but I'm not like her

yeah I know you're like me

damn I'm sorry

I thought I was gonna meet

all these cool people in high school

now everybody hates me

I miss Toby

I know Carmen

but you gotta believe me when I tell you

everything's gonna turn out

I mean, nobody had a worse childhood than me,

and I turned out fine.





Hey, we're talking about you.

So what am I going to do,

sit in my room for the next four years?

No, I think your mom had a point about joining the group.

You just have to pick the right group.

I mean, what do you like to do?

I don't know.

Hey, if I know my little girl,

Oh, it's probably Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens.

Huh?

Huh?

Ms. Pac-Man, Betty Spaghetti, Barrel of Monkeys.

Help me out.

Kinda like writing.

Well, see, there's gotta be other kids into that.

There's a poetry club,

but I don't think my poems will ever be good enough.

Carmen, if it's what you love,

you gotta have the guts to pursue it.

Besides, if you wrote those poems, I'm sure they're great.

Can I read one to you?

Oh.

Out loud.

What's up?

What's going on in the kitchen?

I thought we sprayed for freaks.

That's the poetry club.

They're having a party.

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways

Hey, good for Carmen

Yeah, well, she's still barely talking to me

Come on

You had the right idea

You just had the wrong group

You're a great mom

And I'm not afraid to send that out to the world

Send it out to the world

Just send it to me next time

And I'll send it out to the world

Uh, I'm gonna close the shades.

Some of my friends are getting skin color.

Did you guys need any more brownies?

Yeah, all right.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, all right. That's not too far from a,

you're the best mom ever.

Just because you did one thing wrong doesn't mean

I should forget the millions and millions of wonderful things

you've done for me.

You know, that reminds me of a little poem.

Angie, when it comes to the children,

we're on equal footing.

Now let's go upstairs and make some sweet, sweet pudding.

-♪ Hey, don't you know not to chew a bone in front of a skeleton?

That could be my arm.

don't give me that look you know i can't take that i may be evil and undead but i love dogs

no no not the licking

stop that it tickles oh a little more to the left

You know an Altoid wouldn't k*ll you.