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05x08 - Temporary Insanity

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Beavis and Butt-Head". Aired: March 8, 1993 – present.*
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Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.

05x08 - Temporary Insanity

Post by bunniefuu »

Yeah. YeahThat's

like the only reason to even go to

school. Yeah.

Wood good. School bad.

Hey, Beava. Let's, like, not go.

Yeah, yeah, cool. Uh,

hey, we're, like, getting off. Yeah, we

need to get off. And we ain't in school

yet. Uh.. It's like

an emergency. An emergency?Well, now

that's different. Here you go.

Hey, Beavis. We're like, not in

school. Yeah,

cool. Ever

since I was a young boy, I played the

silver ball. There are no

angels left in America anymore.

This is what happens when, like, old

people try to rap.

Hey, didn't this guy, like, already do

this song before?Uh.. Oh, yeah.

But he has long hair now. What do you

mean, like, every time you grow your hair

long, you have to, like, do all your

songs over again?

Uh.. No, that's not what I said. And

you may ask yourself...

And you may spank yourself!

And you may find yourself behind the

wheel of a large automobile.

And you may find yourself in a beautiful

house with a beautiful wife. And you may

ask her, where's the bathroom at?I

can barely touch myself.

He can't touch himself.

That's not really very funny. That's

like, um.. That couldn't happen to me,

could it?Uh..

Hey, wait... Wait a minute, wait a

minute. That wasn't a chick, was it?

I think it was, but it... I

think it's a couple boobsYou

change it, but it, this is making me

dizzy. Come on, Beavis. It'll give you a

good bust. Yeah,

but it's like, I'm getting sick to my

stomach, come on.

Um..

Is this Led Zeppelin?Uh..

I think this is like, one of those things

where like, they say it's Led Zeppelin,

but it only has like, one of the original

dudes in it. Oh yeah, yeah

Yeah, it's like, they always do that. You

can always tell who the original dude is

because he'sfat. He's got like white

hair. Whoa, that dude has hips like a

woman.

That sucks when guys like just put out

the same stuff over and over again.

I said put out.

Yeah, but but really, that that sucks and

like like guys just repeat themselves.

Just do the same stuff over and over. You

said eat themselves. Um..

Reput- EAT themselves. Oh

yeah.

I think this is like where they like show

how they made the video. Um..

I thought this was a video. Uh..

No, Beavis. This is like the making of

the video. They should just like

show the video because this thing sucks.

OK, thank you for calling Molar Real

Estate. Bye. Is this like a mall

or something?Uh, yes, this is Molar Real

Estate. Are you boys the tents?Of course

you are. What am I saying?Uh, I

don't know. Beavis?

Yeah. Um, no. You two must be the

starving artist types. Yeah.

Where's the food court at?

Anyway, Beavis, is it?Let's make you the

typist here and your friend can do

reception. Sit down, make yourself his

home. Hey, butthead, the

copy machine. Do that thing.

Check it out.

Yeah. Would you like a copy of my

butt

I'm enlarging my butt

Mr. Muller put you up to this, didn't he?

Oh, my. The stories I could tell you.

OK, Beavis, why don't we get you started

on some letters?And you, Sir, let's park

you in front of the phones.

Hi, we're here from the temp agency. Hi,

um, may I help you?

Yes, we're here from the temp agency. Um,

please have a seat. Your order will be

ready in a minute. Would you like a copy

of my butt

Uh, hello?Uh,

never heard of him, dude.

YeahThat's his butthead. Who the hell is

this?

Hello?Hey, baby.

Uh, he's like out having his buttcleaned.

Uh..

Bevis, right?Um, yeahGreat to have you

on board today. Listen, I'm Stan. Uh, you

probably recognize the name from all the

letters you've been typing for me. Uh,

not really, Sam.

Stan. I'm Stan. Okay, listen,

hey, great job on all these letters. But

I guess what I need now is for you to

just make some real minor corrections

here. Okay, so I've pretty much just made

the corrections in red here, and it's not

a super rush. As soon as you get a

chance, that would be great. Um, heh.

Okay, Sam, but, um, I'm, like, real busy

and stuff. Cool, man. Like I say,

Beavis, no rush on this. Whatever. Um,

heh, yeah. I'm

busy.

With muscle

physiques. Butt town. Butt town?Yeah,

yeah, that's what he said. He said butt

town. Butt town. This

is cool.

Butt town.

Yeah. If you live in Buttown...

You gotta get down.

Buttown! Yeah!

Buttown rules! Yeah, real...

But where in Buttown?I don't know, but

I'm gonna find a map and go there.

Can I come too?Uh, no, Beavis.

Dumbass

Monday you're new and Friday you're true.

Buttown. This song has the best lyrics

I've ever heard. Yeah, yeahHow did this

guy come up with this stuff?Buttown.

You live in Buttown, you gotta get down.

Yeah. So this dude should hook

up with Sir Mix-a-Lot, and they can,

like, sit around and talk about butts and

stuff. Yeah, yeahYeah,

I'd like to see that,

man.

I told you last time you called, I never

heard of that guy. Get off the

phone before I kick your a*s

Whoa, that thing's pretty hot.

You broke it, dumbassAnd I was right in

the middle of a conversation or

something. You broke it, bonghole.

You talk too much. Uh,

ma'am?This butt munch broke your office?

No way. He did it. He did it. Well,

listen, boys, it's nothing to get bent

out of shape about. We'll have someone

come in tomorrow and take a look at it.

Now, why don't you two punch out and

we'll see you tomorrow?Uh, okay.

Yeah, okay. Ahhh...

He'd be the... You see that arrow?

You know that, like, that symbolizes the

wiener?Um.. What

wiener?Where?It stands for

wieners everywhere. Oh. Well,

good. Yeah, good. But

people are still having sex and nothing

seems to stoppeople are

still having sex?Yeah, yeah, yeah, what

people?Where?What names?Settle down,

Vivas. Well, people are still

having sex, and it's like, it's like, I'm

not having sex. Well, if you keep your

mouth shut, maybe he'll tell you. Well,

okay. ...the

activity. Do you understand me?

Yeah, yeah, I understand, but where,

where where

Lust keeps on lurking. Damn it, come on,

where?Oh, oh, where, whereLilith, just

listen this time, shut up. The same

thing's not working. Amen. People

are still

having sex. Yeah.

Okay. People are still having sex. Damn

it, there he goes again, come on, where?

Oh, oh, where, whereLilith, shut up.

Whoa! That thing's getting it on with a

donut! Yeah!

Um, hey. A donut sounds pretty good. I

think I'm gonna go get a donut.

Yeah. Bring me back a couple.