05x26 - The History of Women

[bunniefuu]

And that's why the woman I most admire

is recording artist Katie Lang.

Thank you, Cassandra. OK, let's

see who hasn't gone yet.

Beavis, Are you ready to

inspire us with your report?

You're next, dill hole.

Come on, Beavis. Stand up and tell us

about the woman you admire most. Um..

Oh, yeah. Um.. Okay. Go ahead.

Reveal to us the identity of this

profoundly influential female. Oh,

yeah. Um..

Uh.. My mom. Yeah, yeah

My mom.

You wuss.

Butthead, I hope your oral report is a

little wider in scope than Beavis's.

Uh The woman I admire most

is, uh..

Beavis's mom. Yeah,

me too.

Boys, I'm going to have to ask that you

redo these reports. I want you to

research and plunge deeply into the

subject matter this time. Okay?

Oh, ohh yeah, yeah I've seen this before.

This chick beats herself in the head

later. It's cool. Oh, yeah.

This is gonna be cool.

Yeah, yeahYou know what this band is

called?It's called seven-year b*tch

It's like, when a band has a

name like seven-year b*tch it's like they

don't need to be very good. Yeah. Also,

it helps when they're sexy. Yeah.

That's

some fine lady al.

These are some fine lady al.

Okay, here

I come. Here she

goes. Yeah, yeah, she can help me. Yeah,

yeah, come on, come on

It kind of looks like she got a little

special feeling from doing that.

We're all so smart and we're all so

dense. Uh, I think this song is supposed

to be like how we're all like stupid and

stuff. What do you mean?You mean like

like we're stupid or like like

everybody's stupid or-- Damn it, Beavis,

I don't know. I'm not some rocket, uh,

some rocket ship or something.

Uh, we need to learn about

chicks. Yeah. I

assume you mean the 51% of our population

known as women. Uh, no. We

want chicks. Yeah.

In the words of the great feminist

anthem, I am woman. Hear me roar.

But it. I think she wants you. Yeah.

Probably. Well, boys, I'm happy to

tell you that I have set aside a whole

section of featured books in honor of

Women's History Month. I think

Susan B Anthony is an excellent place

to start. All right.

Or perhaps this biography about the

pioneering psychologist, Dr. Carla

Horny is a better choice.

Do you find psychology funny?

Yeah. Wait a

minute. I've got just the thing.

I bet you do.

It's up here somewhere.

Oh, yes, here it is. Sarah

Dewey, wife of the man whose

name graces our wonderful Dewey decimal

system.

Cool. I thought you boys would feel

inspired. Oh, here's another one.

Here, why don't I help you get started?

You'll need some paper,

set your margins, and we'll start.

Thesis statement. Many researchers

today believe that

Sarah Dixon DeweyWas in

fact the inventor of the

famed Dewey Decimal System.

And in

conclusion,

we believe it should be changed to the

Dixon Decimal System

because she

would probably keep her name if their

partner. Uh,

ship was truly

equal cool.

CoolYeah,

it says what?

Bravo, boys. I'm super impressed.

Well, class, this report leaves little

doubt that Sarah Dixon Dewey is the

woman Beavis and Butthead admire most.

Uh, no. The chick I most admire is that

librarian chick. What?

I don't understand. Yeah.

It's like first we almost saw her butt

and then she did all the work for us and

like, we just sat there and didn't do

anything except like, look at her legs.

Yeah, she rolled.

Check it out. Oh, wow. It's Grim Reaper

again.

Whoa. Hey, look at that big boat.

These videos are funny.

These guys should be on that show's

estate. Yeah, because

they suck. Oh, what is

that thing?It's like these guys suck so

bad they have to go to their concert in

these armored vehicles. You

know that singer?He looks a little better

in this video. It's like he doesn't look

as ugly... Never mind. Yeah.

It's too bad he's not good looking like

me.

I think it's not supposed to be

Wolverine. That's not Wolverine.

No, no, that's not Wolverine. I know, but

like, you know, in England they probably

like drum different 'cause they're dumb.

No. That's not Wolverine. No.

Yeah, it is, but it's just like, you

know, a little different than the

American Wolverine. That is not

Wolverine, buddy. OK, OK, butt munch.

It's not Wolverine. Who cares?Now just

shut the hell up so at least I can have a

good time watching this crap. Well, how

can you have a good time if it's not

really Wolverine and you think it is?

Dammit, Beavis, shut up. OK, OK,

OK

This sucks. Yeah. Why did Van Dreesen

make us do this crap?I hate these damn

things. And what was all that

crap he said about us not respecting

chicks?Oh, no, no, noThat

doesn't go there. If you'd paid closer

attention during our research. You'd

remember that books with a Dewey Decimal

number starting with the number nine go

up here. Let me show you. Uh..

And

now you should be able to see the

inherent beauty of the Dewey Decimal

System. Uh, I see the beauty.

Ohh

Is this football?

No, I think this is a shampoo commercial.

No, it's not. You know what this is?This

is Telemundo. How

come you always watch Telemundo, Beavis?

They have all these fine chicks with big

boobs and like really tight dresses.

Oh yeah. Seems like they always have some

big fat host on Telemundo that's like all

dorky looking. And then like all the

chicks are really good looking. That

guy's cool. Yeah. He always walks up to

the chicks with his microphone and

goes... I bet

he scores constantly. Yeah. You know what

I think I'm gonna do?I'm gonna shave my

chest like these dudes. Walk around with

one of these pets, like learn to dance

like that, and then I will score. I'll

detail. Instead of doing that, why don't

you just like talk all that Spanish stuff?

That would probably work.

I'm going to

try becoming one of those big fat dudes

and go

This music kind of sucks. This isn't even

music, really. This is just like that

kind of crap that guy plays down at the

organ store at the mall in one of those

$10,000 organs. How

much for your organ, Sir?

That'll be $10,000, son. Please don't

touch it.