06x09 - Babysitting

[bunniefuu]

Is there, like, a reward for your kids?

What are you talking about?Yeah, um, we

found them. What do you mean?They were

just playing in the yard. Uh, no, they

weren't. They were, like, out on the

sidewalk. Yeah, they were just, like,

wandering around and stuff, but, you

know, they're all safe now, so, um, do we

have some money?Yeah. Could we, like,

just have some money for our troubles?

Well, if you boys need money that bad,

maybe you can watch the kids for me. What

are you boys doing tonight?We're going to

watch Tournament of Warriors 7. It's

going to roll. Well,

their dad's in town and wants to meet me,

but I can't leave without someone to

watch the youngsters. I'll pay each $5,

and you can watch your warrior program on

the TV. Whoa.

She's going to pay us money just to watch

TV. Yeah, that's going to be

cool. Uh,

get ready for a surprise.

You think it's a girl, but it's a guy.

Oh, yeah, yeahIt's like you think it's

going to be a girl, and then it's a guy,

see?It's like, you know, kind of comes at

you kind of strange, you know?Yeah.

What's your problem?This is

stupid. Um, it kind of sounds like that,

um.. from a distance. Oh, yeah.

Who did that song?Uh, that's

Button Midler. No, yeah, yeah, Button

Midler.

That looks like that, that mouse chick.

Um, that Minnie, Minnie Mouse, you know?

Oh, yeah. It's like, have you ever heard

that joke?Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

I don't know. Check it out, this isfunny.

Because she was doing goofy.

Ah

Check this out, butthead. I got a joke.

That's a really good knock knock.

Who's there?Um, you're

a... Uh, you're a who?

You're a butt munch, gill hole, dumbass

and a turd. Shut up,

Peter. I just made that up.

Shut up, Peter. I made that one up

myself. Okay, I have

one. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Uh, you're a... You're a who?

Urine. Urine.

Ohh ohh

Just make sure they stay out of trouble

and are in bed by 10. I'll be back in a

few hours. Hey

man, how's it going?You're not supposed

to touch him, Beavis. It's like against

the law or something. Ohh When me

and

Heart Attack Voyac get into the ring,

we're gonna rip off his mask and we're

gonna show the world who he really is.

This is going to be the coolest thing

we've ever seen. yeah

These are my power fighters, and this is

their X13 Sonic Nightscope.

That's stupid. Get out

of the way, butt munch. You're blocking

the TV. This is my house,

and I don't want to watch this. Hey, what

are you doing?

Yep. Yeah, yeah,

yeahCheck this out. Hey, buddy,

this kid's pretty cool. Check this out.

Settle down, Beavis. You're supposed

to feed the baby and put him to bed.

There you go.

Are you stupid, Beavis?How's he gonna

open that thing?Dumbass

There you go.

Uh, uh, Beavis. Did you

cut the cheese?

I don't think so. The baby's

diaper's dirty.

Really?That's

cool.

Read me a

story. No way. You don't have to read it.

if you're not in school, dude.

Don't you know anything?

No. No

These toys suck. Yeah, really.

They're for, like, little kids or

something.

Hey, buddy, didn't that old chick, like,

want us to do something?

Uh.. I think she said we're supposed to,

like, go to bed.

Oh, yeah, yeahAnd then she's going to,

like, pay us some stuff, right?Of

course she is butt munch. She

better. We're doing our

jobs. The everything

bag comes initialed and includes 4

separate compartments and a detachable

key holder. The everything bag comes in

bone, tan and black.

Oh, look! Oh, look!

Yeah...

Vanilla Ice...

You know, um, they're always, like,

putting this guy down and, you know,

like, making fun of him and saying he

sucks and stuff. But you know, um,

he really does suck. And, um, this is one

of those times where everybody's right,

you know what I'm saying?

are you just trying to say that this

sucks, Beavis?

Sometimes you have a way with words.

Ohh Are you gonna change the channel,

butthead?Why bother?All

we seem to get on this TV is bad videos.

Ohh

There's like three things wrong with this

video. One, this dude sucks.

And, uh.. Three, he's

trying to rap a love song.

You know, if this was a real rap song

about love, he'd be saying, We have no

love for hoes. Yeah.

He'd be like, I don't love you hoes. I'm

not the dope.

Love. Love.

Hi, Mommy. What in the hell are you doing

still up?Doing it. Where are those two

babysitters I left you with?What

are you doing?What?Get out of my

kids' beds. Uh, we're not

done. Yeah. Now give me a few more hours.

I'm giving you ten seconds to get out of

those beds and get the hell out of my

house! Uh, what about our money?

Oh yeah, and um, we're gonna have to

charge you a little extra, ma'am, because

of the poop. Get out! You're the worst

damn babysitters I've ever seen!

Damn it, Beavis. She was probably gonna

pay us until you started blabbing about

poop. Oh yeah, sorry about that.

That's OK though, because I'm me, because

I left a little something in the bed.

Cool. I got a girl who

lives with me. Zip him

back up. He sucks.

Come on, boy, give him a chance. They

shouldn't give anybody a chance to suck.

How come these guys are acting so happy?

They're about to get their wiener chopped

off. What makes you

think they're going to get their wieners

chopped off, Beavis?I don't

know. Isn't that what happens when you

have an operation?Boy, I tell you,

Beavis, you're a stupid son of a b*tch

Your mother's a wh*re

I'm the slutShe doesn't charge for it.

BungholeAnd I'm not stupid.

Well, like, what are some otheroperations?

I think you can have, like, your

tubes tied. What does that mean?

I think it's like you have your tubes

tied, and then it means you can just go

do it anytime you want.

Wow. I want to get that operation.

Because I want to do it right now.

I always want to do it.

I think you have to have, like, a lot of

money. And I think you also need a

chick. I knew it. See, there's always

something. There's always some reason

where I can't score.

Damn it.