01x02 - Of Thee I Sting

[bunniefuu]

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heat Heat

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Heat Heat

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Okay After you turn right you stick by

the rafter and start looking for the

green wire Got it Got it Jam it Remember

when you said you'd show me the rest of

the city someday What do you want to

look at Washington for This dump ain't

good enough It's just I've always wanted

to see what goes on here I mean this is

the nation's capital the seat of

democracy My check it out I can lord it

myself What's so special about this room

Any room is special when there's 10 lbs

of candy in

it Here let me down easy Hey this is

where the president works No kidding

Einstein

Too bad the last guy left all he ever

did in here was

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sleep You better hurry Somebody may come

in It's 2:00 in the morning Who's going

to come in Watch

this Are you crazy Boris Hey tough I'm

sending over some pizzas If they ain't

30 minutes you get them free Okay pal

Come on let's get out of here Hey how

much you want to bet they wait up for

them too

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Up at seven barely living getting back

as much as I state of mind keep the

overtime industrial madness following

this progress looking like sadness been

a

I can

hear

you

Breaking What the

Okay Okay I didn't see you Look at

the dog I'm

not let

only you know

you taking a range Breaking the chain

out of the

plane Not for

evil This is the

last Hey man get off the desk

I

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don't know

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[Applause]

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Oh dig this

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Yo Mikey some senator forgot his bad Oh

yeah His office call He left it here

yesterday Take it to the north gate Uh

they're going to pick it up

Max Max

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Max I'll watch it Stop whining It was

just a little painting It was William

Howard Taft Mile the fattest president

in history The guy weighed 400 lb Boy

was he fat when he sat around the White

House He sat around the White House So

you're telling me you lost my cousin

again huh Is that it Yay Morris is with

some senator Damn it There's a 100

senators Have you ever been in the

capital It's gigantic I'm talking fat It

took the whole Supreme Court to swear

him in

Look stop worrying about the little runt

He wanted to see Washington Now he's

seeing it Oh we're not worried Soon as I

finish patching you up you're going to

go get him What And take muggle

He's good with directions He was so fat

he fell through his party's platform Fat

He was giving his inaugural address on

the capital steps A cop came along and

said "Okay bring it up

I've got a million of

them This not simply a matter of

politics but one of practicality In

plain English the bill before us today

calls for the shipment of millions of

dollars worth of canned milk to

countries in Central and South America

many of which openly defy United States

foreign policy

Well I for one am not interested in

subsidizing a bunch of left-wing

gorillas and puppet dictators who would

seek to subvert the Democratic

process My distinguished colleague

across the aisle is right This bill is

about appropriating money to buy canned

milk He's also right about something

else This is not really about

politics This is about hunger

Now I'm not an expert on hunger because

I have never been hungry I don't believe

any of us in this room have But how many

of us have put our children to bed

thankful that they will never feel that

pain Surely our desire to lessen it and

others can transcend politics and

foreign policy Surely we can extend

compassion beyond our borders as we've

done so often in the past Ladies and

gentlemen I do not believe that we have

the right to punish

individuals children for their

government's mistakes For in the end we

as a body are held accountable not only

to this great nation but to the family

of

man I urge you vote yay

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[Applause]

Okay now we'll get to a series of

drainage canals Then we take another

left We've been taking left ever since

we got down here Where are you getting

all these stupid directions from It's my

sewer atlas I've made a diagram of every

pipe in the city Estimating travel times

and noting points of interest It's

taking me over a year Good to see you're

not wasting your life

Yellow Max we were worried sick about

you kid Are you okay Is that him Yeah

Yeah he's fine Where you calling from

anyway I'm in a senator's briefcase The

best senator in the country The best one

ever

Okay Max don't be scared Okay Janet and

Muggle went out to find you I'm not

scared I'm great Oh I wish you could

have heard his speech It was so so Jeez

it was perfect But don't worry you'll

hear him soon cuz he's going to be

president someday Boy I just knew

Washington was going to be like this

Maybe he isn't getting enough oxygen

Wait a sec Something's going

on I'm in a car I'm moving What You got

to be at the capital Max Jam and Muggle

are going to meet you at the front steps

I can't help it Berkeley I'm driving

somewhere Max you got to get out Do you

hear me Jam and Muggle are in front of

the capital

What the hell is this

Officers Club The Pentagon The Pentagon

We mean the Pentagon

You do

Look at this There's six billion people

in here Maybe I was reading this um

upside down Shut up Okay let us try and

make it through that window Hey we can

find the motorpool and hitch a ride to

Jam it

Look at it Nobody's even touched it It's

a virgin

Jam it We have to find Max Max

who You dream about stuff like this but

you never think it's going to happen to

you

What's with this pizza over here All

right Colonel Clink sent it back Said it

was cold Got it

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5 minutes Mr Barrymore

This will get you started in the morning

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Hey what's with the lights Great A power

failure

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If you don't mind me saying you look

like hell O my head Hey there's rats by

the sink One side We'll deal with them

Damn it Those guys are MPs You think

they got any aspirin No but they have

g*ns

Are you crazy I'm a

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man Wow

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We got rats in here Somebody get a

flamethrower If you ask me these people

are a little trigger happy Yeah What

makes you say that Over here Quick

I think we shook them How are we

supposed to get down from here Goodness

Lost waves

Well just look at you two You are a mess

Why don't you slip out of those grubby

things and right into a warm sudsy bath

I'll get the bubbles

Let's just

jump

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Excuse me sir That's quite all right

Senator appreciate you stopping by Come

on in Thank you Mark I'd like you to

meet Jack Reed from the Canned Milk

Council Uh Jack uh Senator Steuart

Harris Oh Senator this is an honor I saw

the proceedings this morning on cable I

can't tell you how much your speech

moved me sir Well thank you Mr Reed I've

always felt it's a worthwhile call Oh

that it is Senator It's worthwhile for

all of us

Uh quite a little boost for your

re-election campaign huh Stuart Oh

little 60,000 ought to buy a whole lot

of bumper stickers But if it gets that

boat through hell it was worth every

cent It's uh all unmarked Jess Clean as

a baby's butt Uh fellas why don't we go

down and honor this coalition with a

little drink I'm sorry I'm going to have

to pass Mark I I should be getting back

to the hill Not to mention the bank

Liar Phony Do you hear something

Everybody hands up What the hell's going

on Would you step to the wall please

That's it Hands against the wall Senator

I'm with the Federal Bureau of

Investigation You have the right to

remain silent Oh no Oh my god Anything

you say can and will be used against you

in a court of law You set me up It was

all a lousy sting wasn't it Oh my god

Look look look This guy he he came on to

me right from the get-go Yeah right

Senator I'd strongly suggest waiting

until you have a lawyer present You do

have a right to have a lawyer during

questioning I am a lawyer Well that

explains it then

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So listen You want to come in for a

drink We found a packet of dairy mix at

the landfill I'd rather plunge to my

death Oh come on Your little homemade

lariat isn't even a foot long and we're

three stories up Count them You won't

make it down without some help Why

haven't you ever had to depend on the

kindness of strangers I know I have Do

you guys live up here Oh we certainly do

Right outside the Department of the Navy

We're thinking of enlisting I've always

dreamt of the rugged life of an

Albatross I wouldn't mind having one

around my

neck If we can just make it down to the

gutter we can use my sewer atlas to get

back into town

If it wasn't for your freaking sewer

atlas we wouldn't be here you buttthead

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Wait a lift

cowboy Meow Oh it's you Yeah we just

talked to him He's downtown in the

slammer

No I'm not kidding Where are you calling

from anyway A pay phone Your friend Max

has cellular

Yeah Well bully for him

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Man I should have dropped you man Should

have wasted your butt when I had the

chance What happened Black and White

tried to pull him over They exchanged

fire for 10 minutes That guy had enough

uzies in his trunk to start a freaking

w*r I'm going to k*ll you man I'm going

to take you all down You hear that I get

out of here and you are dead

A mouse

Hey there's a mouse in here Help the

mouse Hey there he is

You guys are such wimps

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[Applause]

Oh gotcha Come fly with me Let's fly off

to Peru

dee a shooby doobydoo Oh my you're not

weighing very much Damn it My whole life

I ain't never been disumiliated ever Oh

come on This is fun Look at me everybody

I'mma be 17 and let this spell

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Get

back Keep away from me

Hi Hello Couldn't sleep Nope What are

you doing up Oh I I've been up for 6

years I was just working on my sewer

atlas It needed a few minor adjustments

I'm going back to Nebraska Muggle Oh I

was about to go and try this out You

want to come along Yeah Okay Oh boy

company I know just where to take you

to Now we take a left here Another one

Well that's what my map says

Michael where are we going You'll really

enjoy it It's one of my favorite spots

What Don't these things bother you One

thing Let's

see We came out of the train and we went

left Maybe we should have gone right

Look let's just get out of here okay

There's nothing in Washington I want to

see anyway Why not I know what it's

really like now There isn't anybody here

who's thinking about their country

Everybody's just trying to figure out

the best scam or or or who to bribe or

cheat And you know who gets shafted The

people The people this place was

supposed to provide for Good thing

you're a mouse It's the principal dummy

You're pretty mad huh I'm never going to

trust anyone in the government ever

That's for sure That guy had me suckered

muggle He had us all suckered You really

think so A man once said "You can fool

all the people some of the time and some

of the people some of the

time." No wait He said you can fool some

of the people all the time and time the

people to fool fool you automatus the

people when you fool

them Where was I taking you It doesn't

matter We're lost anyway Come on And

just so you know it's you may fool all

of the people some of the time You can

even fool some of the people all of the

time but you can't fool all of the

people all

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of Wow I guess a lot of bad people have

always been here but then there's been

people like him Wasn't he in the

government too Yeah he

was pretty clever You rat Yeah

What are you talking about This how you

tricked me into you know getting me to

come down here So you skip it You're not

going to leave are you Max I wouldn't

have anybody to get lost

with Let's go

home I wish I could remember what I

wanted to show you

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