01x06 - No Way to Treat a Fillet-dy

[bunniefuu]

New York is the melting pot and fish

city can only be described as the

boolean base trust being a good cop in a

bad town can be work

I finished my shift three hours earlier

but a good cop is always open for

business and it figures fish city's

crime central if it's ill*gal immoral or

illegitimate it was probably conceived

at the shell Shack these squids knew

where to go but what they were looking

for uncle Calvary uncle calamari so

Calamari's three nephews were in town

that was bad but I was on my way to

pearls in my usual bowl of corn flakes

and that was good yell if I bought a new

dress for some special occasion like oh

say the fish police charity ball what

color would you suggest uh I think you'd

look great in green yeah green it's not

that I personally want to go but it is

for the police charity fund and they are

raffling off that new Barracuda GT

sports coupe loaded with everything down

to the little Christmas tree air

freshener of course this whole

discussion is pointless since no one's

asked me to go ow uh pearl would you

like to go to the fish police charity

ball with I guess me oh I don't think so

Gil I'm awfully busy no all right if I

say no you'll be pouting around here for

days

so to sum this up I can't order you to

go to the ball but I can strongly

encourage you to buy tickets any

questions no no why she's chief ante up

if I'm not taking money I'm taking names

put me in for to Goldie so who's the

lucky lady well after giving it a lot of

thought I decided to invite pearl how

did you find out so fast did your sister

send up smoke bubbles hardly necessary

sir she's had it planned for weeks what

do you want calamari is this a business

call or did you just come over to flirt

with me yeah they're here to buy tickets

for the charity ball right fellas we can

book you a nice table or we can just

book you as a matter of fact we are here

to buy some tickets you see boys big

fine to the local flat fins you never

know when you might need their

assistance

play a tentacle on that dough and you're

an appetizer watch the accusations

detective yeah we're respectable

business fish and we expect to be

treated as such who's the slime in

training how rude of us to neglect

introducing my clients nephews Richie

buddy and Elvis well with names like

that they deserve our respect now you've

got what you came for hit the water in

that case see you at the ball don't

worry chief I've been keeping an eye on

those three they haven't done anything

we run a full-scale stakeout and shark

stir will be all over us assuming that

he finds out they'll never know I'm

there chief then I don't want to know

you're there either

may i freshen that drink for you

inspected you oh you can do anything you

want to it beautiful have we uh-huh

quickly thank you it's me you yet

catfish call me kitty Wow when you go

undercover you really stop the mattress

you pick up any tips on our three

friends I've been picking up plenty of

tips but nothing that'll help us on this

case up thanks kitty i'll have another

soda hey ya de jenkins sweet cheeks swam

so inspect the gill how do you like my

new waitress huh I am victim myself hey

it's obvious you know a fine Finn when

you see one yeah that I do now run along

kitty table fours look in my kind of

lonely you gotta stay on top of these

scrapes every minute hey treasure chest

where were the pretzels the names Dona

call me treasure chest one more time and

I'll make you sorry you're a squid what

I say inspector Gill we trust this is a

visit of us to be personal major it is

unless you feel like confessing

something what have you joined the

priesthood inspector if it would put you

behind bars i consider celibacy please

I'm trying to run a respectable joint

head oh so he's taking over things

calamari my nephews were sent here to

learn the family business inspector

Ritchie here has impressed me with his

initiative and vision I've made him my

night manager and Buddy and Elvis will

continue to do what they do best why

don't you go do the timecards Richie Oh

Donna

yes sir so Richie how to do the time

cards yes sir and while you're at it

I'll have a double decaf espresso cafe

au lait cappuccino half calf with 12

sugars yes sir inspector it's always a

pleasure hi Gil hi angel sit down take a

load off Thanks you are so charitable

you know I've noticed that lots of cops

Sharon why you're all so charitable you

throw a charity bone isn't that sweet I

majored in sweetness at the police

academy I've had a lot of experience

with charity you know giving and I give

just about anything to go to the skull

anything and everything and she says

cops are charitable what kind of bum

would ask you on such short notice you

would Gil oh yes I accept now Gil in the

beginning of your fantasies when I'm

still wearing a dress what color is it

green green I think I can work with that

mmm

yay

looks like we've got some weather coming

up on Goldie who died and made you

meteorologist gold are you being mugged

no no I'm not I don't can I got him

good thing I came along huh oh yeah

death slow bloody painful death what

happened to you Goldie was mugged on the

way to the bank I had the guy in a

suction lock and then twinkle Finn's

here showed up I heard screaming the

mother was screaming what did they get

Goldie my lunch money a few credit cards

my favorite denim all the money from the

police charity ball all of it this is

terrible I'll say I'm not that I had to

recover that money and nail our mugger

before the charity ball or the whole F

CPD was gonna have row on its face we

didn't have much to go on but

fortunately we had two eyewitnesses who

had been trained to ID suspects he was

huge with these clammy mask any little

pencil-necked was he weighed about as

much as my right Finn he had bushy

eyebrows well actually there was only

one he's an ugly ugly fish with huge

teeth he was actually kind of cute but

it was dark and inky luckily it was over

in a flash so don't like my second

husband what have you got Harvey that's

the guy goalie why don't you work with

Harvey and try to come up with something

with more of a face well the eyes were a

little more uneven

yeah yeah have your fun eggs how's it

going down at the shell Shack nothing

yet but we better crack this charity

case soon before I start to enjoy this

where are the three stooges shopping

something about spending our first

paycheck which bothers me a little why

well payday is not till Thursday I say

it's time we pay those boys a visit why

don't you slip into something that

doesn't require a matching bag here's

the work schedule for next week I

computed on average block consumption

and adjusted fiora I also took the

liberty of reorganizing the kitchen

staff which will say this a hundred

percent in payroll well aren't you the

little helper you know that gives me an

idea yes I could use a double espresso

right now yes sir with a twist I'm sorry

inspector Gill but your watch must be

off we don't open for a few more hours

I'm not here to dance i'm here to get

some answers that would depend on the

questions I have nothing to hide I'm an

open book it's not your book we're

reading we want to take you it's not

your book we're reading we want to take

your nephews downtown for questioning

what have they done I don't know maybe

they can tell me I won't allow it you've

got no warrant no probable cause no

evidence you're just fishing well a

man's gotta have a hobby or if the

officers want to talk to my nephews let

them it might be good experience for

them

the neckline is too low this dress is

one-of-a-kind and I have two of a kind I

don't want the entire ocean staring at

thank you very much I must say I

certainly do this dress justice honey

what you do to this dress is positively

ill*gal

angel girl Alexis so are you buying this

dress for a special occasion or is the

diner taking reservations now as a

matter of fact I'm attending the fish

police charity ball this evening what a

coincidence so am I who's your date your

brother know who's yours the 5th

precinct if you must know I'm going with

Gil yo yeah so you did a little shopping

what's it to you spending your paycheck

you don't have to enter that no law says

a guy can't spend this hard-earned cash

true but isn't paid a Thursday you don't

have to answer that uncle mr. calamari

gave us a bonus okay a little something

to get us set up in town oh good answer

so you guys enjoying your time in fish

city he did it me it was him you would

wrap on your own brother any further

questions inspector get them out of my

sight ok I've got pearl at the ball from

seven to eleven then she takes the

midnight shift at the diner angel gets

off work at ten which means I've got her

from 11 on and on it's gonna be close

but I think I can pull it off inspector

Gill yeah good great pearl what's up

nothing I'm just so excited about the

ball so am I hold on pro

Gil Gil honey it's me sorry to bother

you but I'm just so excited about the

ball I had to talk to you why I'm glad

you called look hold on a second pearl

pick you up at eight I'll meet you there

I'll be waiting on the front steps sure

eight it is hold on guys angel yeah

let's talk about the ball okay I've got

the night off from the shell Shack so

meet me there at eight I'll be waiting

for you on the front steps and by Gil

yes sir the mayor's gonna put my

porcelain asleep if we don't recover the

charity money what have you got well

whoever it is that someone who's trying

to make a name for themselves ripping

off the police is not something we would

take lightly do you think they knew the

money was in Goldie's purse if you were

gonna mug somebody would Goldie be your

first choice good boy I think it's one

of Calamari's nephews and after all

where there's ink there's squid but

after talking to them I think we can

eliminate buddy and Elvis oh they're

idiots chief I think Richie's are squid

you have enough to nail him not yet well

do it didn't do it fast we can't let

something like this happen right under

our bivalves

that right under our window chief

someone's driving off with a barracuda

the ball was only an hour away and

without the Barracuda the only thing we

have to raffle off was our pride

somebody was intent on making the police

look bad and nobody loves to show up the

cops more than calamari maybeee to their

boy give the soul you know calamari I

always figured you for the clip-on type

what are you doing here inspector I

think you know actually I don't have a

crew and neither do you i suspect or you

wouldn't be loitering in my office sorry

uh here's tonight's receipts dhana dear

I wonder if I could trouble you for a

double decaf I'm sorry but we're out out

how is that possible well you put Rechy

in charge of ordering and I put you in

charge of training him didn't I I'll go

order some right now excuse us inspector

but we don't want to be linked to the

ball that would be rude well we don't

want to be rude Dewey sorry we can't

help you inspector hey kid I got someone

knows you got the rest of the night off

I need a date to the ball and you're the

lucky

thank you but I can use the kids hey

play your cards right and I'll make it

worth your while oh I don't know Richie

table for one are you Nazis nibbling

debate yeah well it's not your bait he's

nibbling look just go to the dance with

him all right but I get to leave I don't

know the answer you don't know the

question something tells me I'm about to

do you think richie could have stolen

the money and the Barracuda that ink

blot can order coffee much less drive a

stick shift I said you were smart

it's 815 he's late he'll be here now you

remember what to do I slap him and then

you slap him and then we tell him

something we tell him that were not a

couple of b*mbos that he can play off

each other the slapping I can handle but

that speech is gonna be a bit of a

stretch we gotta stick together angel

now where is he I knew it was somebody

who was trying to impress calamari that

led me to Richie buddy and Elvis but

they had an alibi that would stand up in

court eyewitnesses no stupidity I was

looking for someone smart someone

capable of putting up a good inc screen

then why you looking at me everybody

knows I'm just a waitress around here

wrong answer doll I saw you tape

Calamari's door open then you said

Richie was too stupid to drive a stick

shift well how would you know the car

was a stick shift good yes maybe but

you're not a guessing kind of gal must

have been hard to keep being ignored

while Richie was being promoted it's

enough to push any fish over the edge if

you can't join them feed them look this

money in the dough from the charity fund

we could be dipping our bosses in the

Mediterranean before anybody knew worth

dying sorry no dice then i guess i

should give me a kiss that's far enough

you should have taken me up on the offer

oh no I might have been worse goodbye

inspector Gill

well that turned out nicely whoo we're

gonna have to make a little pit stop

before I take you downtown why Martin's

you keep saying that well maybe k*ll has

a reason for all this may be asking us

both was just a miscommunication problem

maybe I should just forgive him and let

it be done with pearl I'm so sorry you

got the Barracuda back you solved the

case you incredible stinking rotten jerk

oh you poor thing angel okay sorry so

what do we do now angel it is possible

to have fun without a man pearl that

explains a lot about you here's your

Barracuda chief the charity money's in

the trunk and the culprit is in the

front seat Donna surprised that a woman

could pull this off I've been trying to

tell you for years that I can handle

more than waitressing but you wouldn't

listen well I am now Chuckster follow

miss Donna down to the station and see

that she gets bailed out we could use a

fish like her I bet you could and I

guess you'll get your chance in seven to

10 years a lot excitement I'll baby but

I'm sure it's not half as exciting as

you'll be later

sorry chief I guess I blew my cover well

chief I guess since inspector Gill

recovered the Barracuda we can raffle it

off now right why not and the winner is

me boxes oh yeah this is a no parking

zone a hundred cup here I nobody's

giving out food you too cousin what I

car you drive like you walk sideways oh

so I was a little full backing the case

and that was good what girl an angel was

gonna hate my guts for a while and that

was bad in the end the scales of justice

always seemed to balance out and that's

good but I was stuck with a sixty-dollar

tux and that's bad

you