03x23 - Mammy's Memories?

[bunniefuu]

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Mrs Brown's Boys!

♪ She's Mrs Brown ♪

♪ That's Mrs Brown ♪

♪ Oh, Mrs Brown ♪

Hello, there.

Oh, very a la de carte...

I'm just out of bed.

Since the lockdown,
I've been sleeping late.

The lockdown - oh, God!
No hugs, no kisses, no...

no touching!
It was like being married again!

Oh, hello, Winnie.
Hello, love.

Cup of tea, love?
Oh, yes, please!

Had a weird dream last night.

Really? You can
tell me about it later.

I was in a room
and it was very dark.

That's interesting.

I'll look forward
to hearing that later.

And I went to a table
and there was a candle on it.

You know, that's all I remember.

Aw, that's a pity.

No, wait.
Oh, for f*ck's sake.

I got some matches and I lit one,

but instead of the candle lighting,
I burst into flames.

My God! And then you woke up?

No... Ugh!

Suddenly in the darkness I could see
my Jacko coming at me with a hose.

Well, at least I think
it was a hose.

Were you naked?

No.

It was a hose.

What's that?

Ah, it's just a little something I
got Cathy for her birthday tomorrow.

Winnie, sometimes you are
so incongruous.

I am not!
I only wear this pad just in case.

No, Winnie, it means...

unique.

Is that good? Yes!

Aw!

Hello, chicken!
Morning.

Hi, Mrs McGoogan.

There's the post, Mammy.
Oh, thank you.

Cup of tea, love? Sure. Why not?

Right, I'd better be off.

I've left me
front door on the latch.

Winnie,
are you forgetting something?

No, I never wear a bra.

No, Winnie, the envelope.

Oh, my God, yeah.

Happy birthday, Cathy love.

Thanks, Mrs McGoogan.

See you later.

I'd say that's something nice.

Yeah, I'm sure it is.

Got some mushroom soup
for lunch later.

Right.

Your mushroom soup
is better than mine.

Everything of mine
is better than yours.

Yes, it is.

Hello, Mrs Brown.

Hello! Hello, Buster.

Hiya, Ma.Hello, son.

If it isn't the
Peaky Buckin' Blinders.

Hello, Cathy!

Cathy, kiss a sweep for good luck?

Buster, I would only kiss you
for CPR.

Lovely. Where can I get that?

Tea, lads?
Yes, please.

Milk, eight sugars.

No, Ma, we haven't time.

What's it like out there, Dermot?

Getting busier every day.

How times change.

A visit to the post office now
is like an adventure.

Yeah, especially
if you're wearing a balaclava.

What's in the envelope, Cathy?

Oh, it's a present from Winnie.

Cathy, open it.

It's a spa treatment.

Oh, lovely! You take that now
and maybe you'll get a date!

Leave me alone!

Aw!

I was only joking, Cathy!

What's the story there, Ma?

I don't know. She's been like that
since she was 12.

Maybe it's me.

Believe it or not, Mrs Brown,
some people find me a bit annoying.

Really?! I can't believe that.

No, it's not you, son.

Hey, Buster,
come on, we better move it.

Are we still having a party
for Cathy tomorrow night?

We'll see.

Not if she's going to be
turning up like that.

Like the Mother of Sorrows.

I don't know what it is
that's bringing Cathy down.

I'm sure she'll be brighter
tomorrow.

You know, when the post comes.

Yeah.

There'll be lots of bir...

There'll be...

Good God!

Ugh! I hate this.

And I don't like him!

Yeah, well, you're just going
to have to put up with him.

Cos I'm fed up listening
to you going on about,

"Oh, me legs are sore.
Ugh, I can't walk!"

I'm not gonna listen any longer!

Agh! Agnes!

In here, Winnie.

I came as soon as I got
your message. What's up?

Winnie, I got a letter.

I'm still in shock.

What letter? What did it say?

It's in on the table with the post.

Right.

Get two cuppas there.
I'll be in in a second.

I just have to get this fella
ready for Doctor Doom.

Now look, Grandad -
he's going to take your pulse.

Then he's gonna get very friendly
and he's gonna ask you to cough.

What?

Yeah, it's OK.
He also might want to take some blood.

Oh, no! I just hate this.

And he's a quack.

Now, don't be so rude!
He's not a quack...

he's a w*nk*r.

Yeah.

Well, what do you think, Winnie?

Oh, God, Agnes.

I know! I nearly died
when I read it.

It's not right,
I mean, it's just not right.

I know!

You go through your life thinking
the man you married was one

thing and then... this!

It's too much.

I know.

What are you going to do, love?

I don't know.

Maybe I'll ignore it.

Well, you could,
but they'll only cut you off.

Winnie, I can't even go back
and think about...

Cut me off?!

Well, if you ignore it,
they won't think twice.

Winnie, what are you reading?

That's me electric bill!

I know.



Not that, Winnie! This!

What bill is that?
It's not a bill, it's...

Oh, just listen.

"I was aware that
I was an adopted child

"and I have searched for years
for my real family.

"I have found that my true
family name should be...

"Brown.

"I am Malachy Brown."

Oh, good God, Agnes!

Your kids have a brother
they don't know about.

I know.

Why didn't you tell them years ago?

Because I just found out
when I read the buckin' letter!

Come on, Agnes.

You must have noticed
when you were pushing it out!

Winnie, he's not mine.

There's no point in denying
the child now!

Winnie, he's
Redser's illegitimate son.

Oh, you can't deny the child

just because he can't read
and write, Agnes!

Not illiterate, like you.

Illegitimate! He's Redser's son
with another woman.

Oh...

I don't even think Redser knew.

Oh, he knew all right.

Even I know when I'm having sex.

About the boy!

Oh...

Oh, Agnes, this is,
this is all too complicated for me.

I'll call back later
when you've sorted it out.

Malachy Brown.

Good God!

Just decide which one is the best
one, and then lop off the other.

He's be fine with one.

Oh, she's...

Father Damien, what do you want?
You're not in this episode.

Really?!

No!

But Mrs Brown, I've got a script...

Mrs Brown! Hello?

So, Doctor?

Well, there's a bit
of swelling all right.

I think the only thing to do is...

Put him down.

Mrs Brown, he's not an animal.

No.

He's a reptile.

As I was saying,

I think a bit of physio will do him
the world of good.

Physio?

Yeah, and some massage too.

In a clinic.

Not in Tattoo Tina's Titty Bar.

Thank you very much, Doctor.

Yeah, I'll book him in
for next week.

Where is that? Where is what?

Tattoo Tina's.

Is your leg still sore? Yes!

Is it from the knee
down to the ankle?

That's right! Yeah...

I knew someone who died of that.

Ooh!

Hello, Winnie. Tea, love?

Are you all right, Winnie?

I've been robbed.

Just tell the Garda
as best you can, Winnie.

I'm right here for you.

Thanks, Agnes.

OK, Mrs McGoogan, carry on.

Well, I thought
I heard someone upstairs

and I thought, that's unusual.

Because you thought
the house to be empty?

No, because I live in a bungalow.

She's only starting, Guard.

Hang on to your buckin' hat!

Keep going, Winnie.

I went into the hallway
and he rushed past me,

pushing me up against the wall.

Now, she does have a hallway.

Did you get a good look at him?
Yes.

I looked into his eyes
and I thought,

"You look just like
my Uncle John."

Could you describe him?

Yes! He has red hair.

Red hair.

Sideburns down to here.

Sideburns.

Yeah, a kinda Mexican moustache.

Very good!

Yeah, and a scar over his right eye.

Scar. Yeah.

And he's a window cleaner.

Stop writing, Guard.

She's describing her Uncle John.

Don't be upsetting yourself, Sharon,

the Guards will do everything
they can.

A gold bracelet with diamond stud?

Yeah.

You wouldn't happen to have
a photo of it, would you?

Actually, I was just looking
at this the other day.

Here you go, Guard,
that's her wearing it.

That's it there.

Your hen night in Foley's, Betty.

No way?! My God!

And look at the arsehole
with the glasses behind us.

He was haunting me all night.
Gobshite.

I remember.

He asked you, "Is there anything I
can do to make you night better?"

I know, and I said,
"Get plastic surgery!"

Do you drink in Foley's? Yeah.

Oh, my God, is that the time?

Well, I'd better go
and get Bono from his rugby.

I'll see yas.

I'll be keeping this.

Photos of stolen goods
are really helpful.

Anything else missing?

Oh, yes. Some electronics, eh...

Personal electronics...

You wouldn't happen to have a
photo of them, would you?

You can find some
on me Facebook page.

OK!

Let's start again.
Did you get a good look at him?

Can you describe your robber?

What do you mean, describe?

If we had an identity parade,
would you be able to finger him?

Finger him?! She doesn't even want
to touch him, ya dirty b*stard!

Do you remember any details?

Take your time, Winnie.

How tall?

Nine feet.

What?!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sometimes you look at five feet
and you think it's ten.

And sometimes you look at four
inches and you think it's eight!

Describe what he looked like.

Well, he was wearing a mask.

A mask?

Mm-hmm. And a cowboy hat.

My God, Winnie,
you were robbed by the Lone Ranger.

Name there and sign there.

Right.

No, no, no, Winnie, no.

Where it says sign,
you put Libra.

I'm good here. Me too.

If we get anything, we'll call you.

I'll see you out, Guard.

Well, that was a waste of time.
What?

They're both married!

Safe home, Guard.

This day can't get any worse.

Oh, for f*ck's sake!

Do come in, Hillary.

Well, where is she?

Where's who? Winifred.

Stay!

I heard about poor Mrs McGoogan.

No, Father, still not in it.

Well?

She's in the kitchen. Wait!

First, there's some rules.

Winnie, don't be upsetting yourself.

Don't let this get you down.

You can talk, Cathy.
What do you mean?

You've been like a sour
lemon lately.

I know.

I'm just...

Let's get a coffee and we can talk.
OK. Thanks, Sharon.

Rules... Ha!

Winifred.

Tea!

Yes, Your Majesty!

Hello, Hillary.

Dear Lord.

I heard you were robbed by a
dreadful piece of disgusting scum

and I just had to come
straight round.

To confess? To confess...

What? No!

I came to assure you, Winifred,
that the neighbourhood watch

committee have voted to offer
you our commiserations.

That's nice!

Tell me, Winifred,
was anything valuable stolen?

When my father proposed to my mother
he couldn't afford a gold ring,

so he used a steel washer that he
polished up, shining like silver.

She adored that ring
and she passed it on to me.

They got that.

So that's a no then?

Hillary, you wanna make a move,
you don't want to miss that traffic.

I walked here.

Yeah, well, you can walk back.
Now piss off.

Have you decided what you're going
to do about Redser's

interlitimate son?

I contacted him.

I told him to call over here.

Oh, when? Whenever he likes.

Oh, well, you don't seem
very put out, Agnes.

It's a different scene.
It's a different scene completely.

Woo! Right...

Oh, you'll be very nervous.

Well, not now because I know...

OK, that's a wrap.

Oh, well, you'll be very nervous,
Agnes, and very upset when he calls.

I know.

Hope I'm here to see that.

I'll see ya later, Agnes.

See ya.

Are you asleep, Grandad?

Grandad!

What? What?!

Are you asleep?

Not now.

You should try and get some rest.

You must be Malachy.

Someone's having a birthday today.

Hip Hip. Hiya.

Happy Birthday, Cathy.

Yeah.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Oh, she's been like that all week.

What is it, Cathy?



So what? It's just a number.

It's about how old you feel,
not how old you are.

Look, Cathy.

Of course you're getting old,
we all are.

I'm older, Mammy's older.

You're a bit more
sluggish in the morning.

So am I? So is Mammy.

You have a few more wrinkles.

So have I.

If you point at me,
I'll break your buckin' arm.

Thanks, Mark, I know you mean well.

I'll be fine, I'm just feeling
sorry for meself, that's all.

Well, you'd better smarten up for
these few drinks at Foley's tonight.

I will, I promise.

All right. I'll see yas.
See ya, Betty.

See yas later! See ya, son.

I remember this night 50 years ago.

Really? Oh, God, yeah.

Me and your father had just
been to the cinema.

We stopped to get fish and chips
and a bottle of 7up.

How romantic!

Might not sound like that now,
but it was then.

So we were walking along eating
our chips and the next thing,

I got a sharp pain,
and me waters broke.

All I could say was, "Oh!"

Oh, God!

And your father said,
"You didn't drop the 7up, did ya?"

We were right beside a phone box.

And I heard him inside then,
panicking the ambulance people.

What?

He was there,
stuttering down the phone,

"Oh, me, me wife is having a ba-baby
here on Grafton Street."

And the woman said,
"Is this her first child?"

And your father said,
"No, this is her husband!"

Oh, God, before I knew it,

I was sitting up in the hospital
bed with a cup of tea.

And a nurse came in and she,
she gave me this little bundle.

Aww.
I pulled down the wrap and...

the most beautiful baby face
stared back at me,

with sapphire eyes.

Aww...

The nurse leaned over and said,
"Oop, sorry, wrong baby."

You're joking?!

Course I am!

Good morning, birthday girl!

Cup of tea, Winnie?

Oh, yes, please, love.

Winnie, Mammy was just talking
about this day 50 years ago.

I remember,
they gave her the wrong baby.

Winnie, that was a buckin' joke!

I, I remember the birth
of every one of my children.

Me too.

Winnie, you had one!

Oh, God, look at me.


a man in me life.

That's because you're
looking for the perfect man, Cathy,

and he doesn't exist. Yeah.

My mother gave me
five rules about men.

She said, number one, get a man
who helps around the house.

Number two,
get a man who makes you laugh.

Number three, get a man who's honest
and respectful.

And number four, get a man who likes
sex and is good in bed.

And five? Oh.

Number five, it's really important
that these four men never meet!

Why can't I get a man like that?

You will some day, Cathy, you will!

Really?

No, but I'm your mother, what am
I supposed to f*ck' say?

You seem to have brightened up.

Yes, I have.

I'm going to pick out something to
wear to me birthday get together.

Ooh...

Oh, I'd love to see your Cathy
settled.

She'll be fine.

Well, I'm glad she didn't
go for that last fella.

I don't get it, Agnes.
What does he do?

Get up in the morning and say,

"Today I like women,
tomorrow I like men"?

I don't get it.

Winnie, he was bilingual.

Hiya, Ma! Hello, son!

Where's the birthday girl?

She's upstairs trying on dresses.

I'll get her.

No!
No!

Cup of tea, lads? Nah.

Have you any water?

In the fridge, love.

Well, Mrs McGoogan, any word from
the cops about your stolen stuff?

No, Buster, nothing.

And that, son,
is why you weren't breast-fed.

Did you give the Gardai
a description? Yes.

In fairness, he was wearing a mask.
She didn't see a lot.

True.

Right, let's go.

Except the tattoo.

Dermot, why did we do that?

Winnie, you say a tattoo?

Yes.

What kind of a tattoo,
and where was it?

On his wrist.

Er, oh...

It was a butterfly,
a red and blue butterfly.

A butterfly tattoo? So has...

Right, see yas later.

Malachy called to the house today.

You're kidding?

No.

Well, you don't
seem very put out, Agnes.

I'm not.

He has the wrong man.

He said it was his birth mother
that told him who it was,

and when I asked him who she said it
was, he didn't say Redser.

Oh, that's great, Agnes.

I bet you're glad to have
that behind you now.

I'll see ya later.
See ya later, Winnie.

Yeah, I knew he was mistaken.

As soon as he said Jacko Brown.

That's great, Agnes.

Five, four, three...

Jacko? Yeah.

Jacko.

Well, I hope he doesn't knock
on my door, cos I'd be very upset.

I hope I'm there for that!

You know, Father Damien, I've never
seen you buy a drink.

Mrs Brown, I'd love to. Ah!

Two bottles of Dom Perignon.

I just realised...
I'm not in this episode.

Mm.

So, tell me, Agnes, where did you
celebrate your 50th birthday?

Oh, gosh, I can't remember.

Yeah, so long ago.

Thanks for that, Winnie.

Where were you for your 50th,
Hillary?

Ooh... Look at her.

She thought you'd never ask.

We celebrated my 50th in Lesbos -
sun, sea and sand.

It was glorious.

Himself got sunstroke.

It's a pity there wasn't
Viagra around then.

Agnes, Viagra doesn't
cure sunstroke.

No, but it would keep
the sheets off his sunburn.

Do you remember my 50th, Agnes?

Oh! No...

Well, we went to visit
Lily Prendergast in prison

and then we came here for
a few drinks in Foley's.

Yeah, that's right.

Who was Lily Prendergast?

She was an old friend.

She was doing life.

Good God! For what?

Well, she had a row with her husband

and she threw his clothes
out the window.

He was wearing them at the time.

Go ahead. Do it.

Mrs McGoogan, I believe
this belongs to you.

My mother's ring!

Where did you get it?

Yes, where?

A friend of mine, erm...

found it.

What friend?

Mm, what friend?

Will you thank him for me?

Oh, I did, and Dermot
thanked him too.

Happy Birthday, Cathy.

Oh, thanks, Buster.

Happy 12th birthday?

Must have been the closest
one to the door.

Actually, no.

Cathy, your birthday's
on the 29th of February,

so this means that this
is your actual 12th birthday.

Aw!

And I was 12 when I first went
to your house and I seen ya.

And you were beautiful, Cathy,
and you haven't changed.

That is so lovely, Buster.

Aw!

It is really nice.

Nice enough for a kiss? No!

Fair play, Buster.

That was excellent, a lovely card.

Yeah, well, you know,
when I seen it, I thought

it was very colourful
and I just thought...

This will be Cathy's 12th birthday.

No. This is the closest to the door!

Sharon!



Oh, er, I thought
they might be on the house.

And why would I do that?

Because I recovered
your stolen goods.

On the house!

Hey, everybody.

A toast to Cathy Brown.

Hip Hip... Hooray!

Hip Hip... Hooray!

Hip Hip... Hooray!

I bet you're still
wondering about Malachy.

Jacko is not his father.

But don't let Winnie know.

Let her sweat it out for a bit.

So, the year has ended.

And I will miss it
like a boil on me arse.

I can only speak for meself,
but I feel better already.

I know it's early days
but I can feel the change.

It's like the fog is clearing.

Fog.

That's a good name for it,

because in the fog you can only see
what's close to you.

You have to move forward
just a step at a time.

And, believe it or not, both of
those things paid off for me.

As I moved forward slowly, I could
see things much more clearly,

like how important friends are.

In fog, when you go forward,
you can't look back,

so it doesn't matter who you were,
it only matters who you are.

And finally, sometimes
when you walk in fog, you stumble

but something will keep you up,
keep you going.

It could be your faith
or it could be your family.

So, goodnight to you all.

May your God go with you and
may you be surrounded by family.

Mrs Brown?!

Not now, Father Damien!

Goodnight.

♪ Say hello to the
Queen of Dublin town ♪

♪ As the best mum of
all she wears the crown ♪

♪ Mother hen
watching all her chicks ♪

♪ Sassy old
lady, full of tricks ♪

♪ It's a safe bet she'd
never let life get her down ♪

♪ She's Mrs Brown Agnes ♪

♪ That's Mrs Brown Agnes ♪

♪ Our Mrs Brown ♪