Planet Single: Greek Adventure (2025)

[bunniefuu]

In today's episode of our series

Where Are They Now?: Tomek Wilczyski!

Right, no one's seen him in

years, so the question is:

has anyone found

the body or what?

No, come on, we know he's alive.

He's been selling virtual

greeting cards on Cameo.

A couple dozen Bitcoin gets

you a "hello" and a wave.

Oh, get this too.

The beloved host of the

controversial and once-popular

The World According to Wolf

plans to blow our

minds with a new show.

Could this mark Wolf's

triumphant return to TV?

Quick follow-up question.

Did anyone ask for that?

But really though

where do you think he's

been hiding all this time?

The Wolf? Hmm, probably

in a cave somewhere.

You gotta admit it, honey.

Marcel has pretty good taste.

I'm just curious about

this new project he's got.

Hey, as long as you keep in mind

that's not the only project we work on.

Mmm.

-Right on cue.

-Hey, honey, uh

You think at some point we could do

it just to, you know, get a little

-Get a little?

-You know, just do it for pleasure once?

-Mm.

-Nope.

Okay.

YOU HAVE TWO CUSTOMERS

Majeczka! Happy

birthday from Wolf!

Don't worry, turning fifty

is a beautiful thing.

You'll never be catcalled or ogled

by those sleazeballs ever again.

SEND WISHES

I hope you get everything.

Except, uh, those

male strippers.

Mwah! See ya!

YOU RECEIVE 500 PLN

So, another satisfied client?

I'm hoping she's not

the last one today.

I feel like an

online prost*tute.

I might be better

off getting battered

in one of those MMA

promotional cage fights.

Oh, yeah, you're so right.

They're taking advantage. Five

hundred for a couple minutes of work.

Hey, I feel like a commodity.

It's not funny, okay?

Okay, I'm sorry honey,

but I'm ovulating.

The fertility window's open, so we're

kind of up against a deadline here

All right. Say no more.

Couldn't we have hired

a bellhop on Taskrabbit?

No, I'm not gonna pay some

unemployed hipster five euros

to carry my luggage.

Good Lord, my back is k*lling

me after being on that plane.

You had a kid, you can do this.

So?

-Where to, Suck-A-Joy-Out?

-Over here.

Here it is, check it out.

Voil!

-Bada bing! How do ya like that!

-Whoa!

Oh my God!

Woo-hoo!

-Hey

-Wait, try the other way around.

What other way around?

-You already broke it. Look.

-What? How'd I break it? You broke it.

Please, hold on. Wait a

second, it's just stuck.

Slower, slower, slower, honey.

What the?

-Ania, what're you doing up here?

-It's clear.

And you?

-Hi.

-Hi, Tomek.

-Champagne?

-I thought

I thought this one

was, uh, number six?

Turn it over. It's

nine. Forget it.

Why didn't you tell us you were coming?

Marcel didn't say anything about them.

We decided to fly on a

different, uh, airline.

-Fly around telecom towers.

-Huh?

5G towers are spreading COVID.

What? We sat through a ten-hour

plane ride to avoid 5G towers?

Uh-oh.

Ah. Marcel. How's it going?

We'll talk about this tomorrow.

Where can we find you?

Marcel!

Oh my God, look at you.

You look fantastic, man!

I'm so happy to see all

you guys! This is great!

-Hey

-Hey.

All right, I know all of

you are dying to find out

why exactly I decided to bring

you to this place, right?

-Exactly.

-Just hang on a minute.

I swear, I will

explain everything.

But I have to introduce

you to someone first.

Miguel.

Good morning.

It's a pleasure to

finally meet you all.

Marcel told me so

much about you.

Bogdan Uh Or Ola.

Ola.

Ania.

-Tomek.

-Hi, Miguel.

And Bogdan.

So there we were,

in one of the most incredible

restaurants in all of Malta,

when it dawns on me that

if I don't find this sweet

little dog a home pretty soon,

he's gonna go to the pound.

So, there goes our romantic

dinner on the beach.

-Aww.

-We spent the next four hours

walking all over the island

just to find him a shelter.

Hmm.

Boy, I was worried Marcel

would never forgive me.

Mm. And that's when I

knew I found someone

who was truly unique,

truly special, you know?

Because who else would pass

on a two-star restaurant?

-Right, exactly.

-Miguel! Miguel, Miguel.

Sounds like a an

old Polish name.

So was he like a Pagan

chieftain or something?

-No, actually, it's Micha.

-Oh, Micha.

I guess, Miguel was easier

and it just sort of stuck.

Perfect name for you.

Marcel, Zosia told me to say

hi. She couldn't make it.

Yeah, but how's the baby?

I've got some new

photos. Wanna see?

Oh! Sure.

-Oh!

-Uh-huh!

Wow.

Miguel, so after you've

finished all your traveling,

you think you're gonna shack

up with Marcel in Warsaw?

Wait, you didn't

tell them the news?

Sorry, what news?

Oh no.

-I spoiled the surprise, didn't I?

-Uh No, stop.

-Don't worry.

-What surprise, guys?

The two of us are

big on surprises.

All right.

Me and Miguel, we're not

going back to Poland.

-Sorry?

-Uh

So you're

We bought this hotel.

-No!

-Welcome to our place.

How though?

Hold on. You mean you sold your

real estate portfolio in Warsaw?

Yeah, my bank wouldn't

give me the loan otherwise.

I'll never have another

chance to do this.

Kalimera, Mr. Marcel.

-Kalimera.

-Guantanamera.

Marcel, when you said you

were working on a new project,

I just assumed you meant you had

an incredible idea for a TV show.

Not that you're buying some

hotel in the armpit of Europe!

It's two in one. Or, it's

actually both in one.

We're going to make

a new reality show.

A few people meet online, and then they

meet up for real on a romantic island.

You're the host of the show, the show

pays for the loan, everyone wins.

-I just need to convince the investor.

-Whoa, whoa, Marcel.

You don't really seem

like yourself, buddy.

You're usually a planner,

you're on top of everything.

And I don't know what else to tell

you, you're acting irrational!

How is this irrational?

You run off to the end of

the world with some, sorry,

but some random guy

who you met when?

Like, barely six months ago.

Marcel, are you out

of your damn mind?

You bought a hotel

you can't even afford,

to make some show you could

never actually produce? Marcel!

Man, I'm sorry,

I don't know what kind of idiot

would invest in something like this.

Hello?

Hi, yes.

That's great.

Yes, see you tomorrow.

Bye.

Ha!

What was that about?

It was the idiot who's

gonna invest in our show!

Planet Single: An Island!

-No.

-An Island!

GREEK ADVENTURE

Obviously, the

corrupt legacy media

would like you to believe

that he's just on vacation.

Just a rich guy enjoying his

millions, right? No way, y'all.

They conveniently

fail to bring up

that the guy's been going around

and buying land in Crete to Madeira.

But what's his game?

Buy land to install

weather control towers.

It's the only way.

No question.

Yep. Definitely explains

the weather in Poland.

It's almost as bad as the food.

-Mm-hmm.

-Quit it!

-Elites controlling the weather.

-Quit it!

5G signals.

What other conspiracy theories

are you gonna get sucked into?

-Maybe UFOs?

-We stopped saying UFO. Come on, quit it!

We say UAP, trust me, okay? Unnormal

Aerial Paranoic. Got it, Ola?

Look. Let me tell ya. The US

government just made it official.

They've been getting their weapons

from aliens for fifty years.

Bodzio, hey, come on.

I mean, did you forget you're

just a high school principal?

We take a trip to this wonderful

place and this is what you do?

You don't understand

the world around you.

You're living an illusion.

You're asleep in the Matrix.

-You need to wake up, woman.

-Living an illusion?

If you don't wake up,

you'll die, you'll lose!

If you did some digging,

maybe searched the

internet, then you'd know.

Instead of all this, "Buy me

this, buy me that." No. Wait.

Give me

-Hey come on, stop.

-Wanna do some searching?

Your UAP's outside.

That stupid phone.

I should shove it up my

a*s, then you'd notice.

Old fart, with your beer

belly. Ugh! Go for a run.

-Hey.

-Mm-hmm?

-So, did you notice?

-What?

Just how Miguel is sorta weird?

Mm.

-Totally. Yeah.

-Mmm.

He's a charmer.

He's handsome.

-Has a good sense of humor.

-No.

C'mon, please, his sense of

humor's nothing special, right?

Oh, jealous much?

No, it's just, I'm worried about my buddy.

What do we even know about that guy?

Mmm.

Please shut up and

kiss me, all right?

Think he's being honest

about living in Warsaw?

-Who?

-I

Tomek.

Um, I'm on a schedule.

Oh my God.

Go talk to Miguel if you

want to know about him.

I'm sure he'd be more than happy

to chat with you. Now kiss me!

That's genius.

-I wasn't saying, like, right now.

-I have a window right now.

-It's

-Because he's not expecting me.

I'll get the guy alone,

just the two of us.

You are a genius.

I love you.

Miguel. Can we talk?

Man to man? Miguel.

Hey. Just two dudes talking.

Yeah, hey, darling.

Marcel's our right now

picking up deliveries.

Are you free now?

This stays between us.

First pleasure, then duty.

-Hey, hey, hey.

-Hey.

-How ya doing?

-Hey, uh, what you doing here, man?

Ola threw my phone out

the window, but I got it.

-Looking for something over there?

-Huh?

There.

Oh No, I just came out to

just to get some air, yeah.

-Okay.

-Yeah.

-Good?

-Yup.

-See you, buddy.

-What do you mean, see you?

Let's go grab a couple

of beers at the bar.

Ah, I'd love to. It's just,

the sun got to me today and

Oh, come on, we're on vacation.

Let's have a few drinks.

The seafood's super

fresh here. Come on.

This is the North Pole,

this is the ice wall.

An atmospheric dome gets created

by the gasses trapped between them.

That dome acts like a lens

which makes the Earth look round

when in reality,

it's totally flat.

So, hey, have you noticed that

he's acting sort of weird lately?

Marcel?

Marcel does sleep with guys, I think

that's pretty weird, don't you?

No, I mean, the fact that he

sold everything he owned, yeah?

And then ran away to the end of the world

with some guy who he's known for how long?

-Half a year?

-You know how they met, right?

Marcel messaged him

on a dating app.

You know, that brings to mind

this really interesting series,

a documentary called

Planet Bandit.

-I don't know if you've heard about it.

-No.

Oh, dude, it's on Netflix.

It's amazing. I'm serious.

It's about a fraudster.

This one dude meets all

these women on an app,

and he just swindles these girls,

like drains all their bank accounts.

Poof, their savings

disappear. He cleans them out.

He's elusive, they still

haven't caught him.

You have to watch it.

The Planet Bandit.

That's the one.

He told me that it was

once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

He was so handsome and charming.

He even convinced me to mortgage

one of my properties in Malibu.

Chapter Seven of

The Planet Bandit.

He would go on to swindle

scores of wealthy women.

From Malta to Macedonia.

Promising love

and companionship,

but leaving a trail of broken hearts

and empty pocket books in his wake.

This is just crazy.

Uh, sorry?

I just came here because

I wanted to get a tan.

Now all I want to do

is shop for onesies.

It's weird, huh?

I know what you mean, girl.

But you have a kid?

It's not in the cards for me.

-Didn't mean to pry, sorry about that.

-It's all right.

The best kids belong

to other people.

Maximum happiness,

minimum responsibility.

Oh, I'm Ania, by the way.

Maria.

My God!

Now I get it. Okay.

That little snake.

Your old friend doesn't matter,

'cause you got a new one.

Good morning.

How many persons, please?

Oh, uh Just one.

One? Come this way.

No, no, no. Golden Girls spot.

Golden girls, huh?

Oh my gosh, Zeus,

I'm not that tan yet.

Hi, I'm Magdalena.

Oh, hi there.

Ola.

Hi, darling.

Sorry to keep you

waiting. So sorry.

-Hi.

-You ready?

Yeah. Come on. Come, come, come.

Let's go, let's go.

Tomek?

What are you?

Oh, f*ck!

Oh, sh**t, turn off the music.

Marcel, hey, honey.

What are you, Tarzan?

Good lord, dude What?

In the hotel? Of

course I remember.

Yeah, I'll be there. Uh-huh.

How about a rain check?

I was spying on Miguel. He is

meeting some dude up there.

He's paying another man

to jump into his bed.

Yeah, he's building

his roster of victims.

The Planet Bandit guy

connected a lot of women.

-Like pyramid scheme ladies night.

-What are you talking about?

Listen.

-What?

-The Planet Bandit conned only women.

-Right?

-True. Yeah.

And Marcel is?

-A g*y man! Need it spelled out on a sign?

-How do you know?

He could be bisexual, or

demisexual, trisexual.

We don't know. There are

68 sexual identities

I can't believe this.

Where'd you get this number?

Wait a minute, you're

here? I mean Since when?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, don't involve Marcel.

We'll speak in person.

I swear to God, there are 68

sexualities. He could be any one of them.

The yacht belonging to the

billionaire Aleksander Ostrowski,

owner of Planet Single,

was spotted earlier today

out in a bay near Crete.

The controversial figure was a

beloved and popular businessman

before he stepped out of the

public eye amid a big fiasco,

becoming infamous for

abruptly calling off

the long-awaited holiday premier

of his company's Gravity add-on.

Hey, welcome to the island!

First impression so far?

Oh, it's a bit cramped out here.

There's potential though.

Hey, there you go.

Don't you wanna bring some

of your friends along?

Nah. They're

candidates for casting.

And some of them really want it.

-Casting? That's pretty quick.

-Every minute counts.

Have you noticed the hotel filling up?

Lots of casting prospects coming in.

I'm a dummy. Thought

they were tourists.

I'm gonna be honest.

I don't see much drama.

Love, feelings, communication,

that's all super.

Who cares about that

though? Who'd watch this?

How about this? Just picture it.

A bunch of sexy couples

with slammin' beach bods,

alone on a beautiful

deserted island,

all competing to steal

each other's partners.

That's a show.

Yeah, but it seems like

we're rewarding people

for, well, I don't know,

cheating on their loved

ones and general assholery.

So you get it.

"Happily ever after" is just a a myth.

Nobody wants to see happy couples in love.

Snooze alert. I can prove

it without an algorithm.

Well, what if we wanted

to provoke a change?

Speak to the people,

inspire the audience...

Marcel, don't make

this difficult, hm?

It's already done. In a few days,

we'll start the campaign to promote it.

Okay? We're doing a huge party.

A party?

And, uh, promo work?

Why do you think that I'm bringing

in prospects for the cast?

'Cause we're gonna do

a red carpet event!

About to get hot!

Organizer's calling.

Hello? How's the situation?

Organizer? What does

that make us, Miguel?

Look, I think we need to take

some time to think this over, huh?

I can persuade him.

f*ck!

Hey, so, great ideas in there.

I'm just wondering if we

might make a few adjustments

I'm happy to listen, but you know

me. When I get an idea in my head

So there are two handsome guys

on the one end of this thing.

Over here we got a stranger,

shrouded in mystery. Um

On the other end of

the phone, right?

Man, that sounds like the first

scene of a g*y porno, huh?

Okay, sure. But I think

all of this makes sense.

The only piece I don't

get is Aleksander.

I mean, obviously, he controls

most of the weather in Poland

-Sorry? Controls the weather? Bogdan?

-Forget it. He depre depressureates

-Just, whatever.

-Dude, look.

We both have to focus on

the crucial thing, which is

Miguel is absolutely

cheating on Marcel,

and I have to get proof

of it all somehow, okay?

Not alone, it's you and

me! Better partner up

because I know you won't be able

to handle a covert op on your own.

Dude, we'll be like Scully and Mulder.

How about that? I got dibs on Scully.

Ola!

There you are. Where have

you been all this time?

Move, you're in the way.

Maybe you would have

actually noticed me

if you weren't so busy chatting up

your your new best buddy over there.

That's crazy, you saw

me and didn't come over?

Listen, Maria's super

cool. Right up your alley.

Whatever, screw Maria.

'Cause I made some amazing

new friends too, actually.

Maybe Magdalena will

pick up once in a while

when I call her on the phone.

Magdalena might put some energy

into our friendship, Ania.

-Don't say that.

-What should I say?

-Well, let's try...

-Girls, girls.

You're on a picturesque and

temperate island, and the sun is out

Oh, and there's a lot of

fantastic, young, delicious guys

begging you to look at them.

What's the sense in fighting?

Not to mention,

in a few years, your husbands

will both drop dead. Mm?

Making you realize you

only have each other.

Life is just so short.

She's got a point.

Let's do this.

I'm sorry, I apologize.

It's okay.

Why don't we paint the town

tonight? The two of us.

-No husbands?

-Blech! Ew, no.

Ladies night, oh yeah, just

like before we got old.

I just wanna dance.

I don't know.

Jeez, isn't this just amazing?

So, can you see anything?

Not really, 'cause

he's too far away.

Try these babies.

Eh?

Ah, that son of a g*n,

what a slimy little weasel.

Trolling for victims. He's so

devious, that conniving little sh*t.

-Let me see those.

-What?

-By the way, why do you have all these?

-I've been known to bird-watch.

-Did you bring a sandwich?

-It's a stakeout, I might get peckish.

Hello, girls. How are you?

-Hi, good.

-Hi.

-Hey. Not bad.

-My name is Marko.

-Olga and Anna.

-Uh, Andrew.

-Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you. Very, very, very nice.

-Hey, they're pretty young

-Don't worry about it.

Polish girls?

Polish girls.

-Watch out, he's here.

-Okay, hide!

-Okay.

-What's the move?

-The window's open.

-What?

Come on, perfect chance

to search his laptop.

-I'm not breaking into someone's house.

-I'll boost you up there.

Do you wanna find out if he's

the Planet Bandit or not?

-Yeah.

-Let's go then.

Okay, man.

Once you get inside, open

the back door for me.

Come on.

Ow!

Four rakias, please.

Here's to Poland!

-Cheers!

-Cheers!

Damn, password-protected.

MARCEL'S BIRTHDAY?

Marcel's birthday?

I know. Yep, yep.

You sneaky

-Bingo!

-How about that!

Jeez!

He orders more knick-knacks

on Etsy than my auntie.

Oh, man, there's an app

for secret texting here.

-You are a sleazebag, good lord.

-Man, this guy's a sl*t.

Boom! Got it. "Meet me in

the winery after dinner"

-Oh, sh*t. Time to go!

-Hurry!

sh*t

Hey! Wait.

-The closet, hop in.

-What are you even saying?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm not avoiding you.

I just asked you to never

call this number again.

What don't you

understand? It's over.

Yeah, you have to accept that.

Listen to me.

Of course I'll always

love you, okay?

But the rules have changed now.

What? Are you threatening me?

You know, I really thought

you were above this.

I have to go. Yeah, all right.

Marcel. My sweet stallion.

Oh yeah, everything's fine.

It's just been a

really busy day.

Oh, you're naughty,

aren't you?

Yeah? Is that what you want?

What else do you want?

Uh-huh. Tell me,

yeah, talk to me.

So, yeah, from that point

on, I've been vegan.

-Mm.

-I love animals, all kinds.

Mm.

-I eat fish sometimes.

-Ah.

And chicken, here and there.

A steak on occasion, that's

just for the protein, you know?

-Mm.

-But otherwise, totally vegan.

So ethical.

This one means

that you're very upbeat,

lively, and outgoing young lady.

-Yeah? Mm-hmm.

-Mm-hmm.

-Although right now, you're a bit lost.

-Hmm.

You mind if I have that?

-You're the best.

-Sure yeah.

Be right back!

-Uh-huh.

-Bonk-bonk! Bonk!

Um Sorry, just excuse us.

Hey, no fair, he was

just revealing my future.

Ola, can we please

ignore them and sit down?

Let's find a little corner and

just have a talk? Please, Ola?

We came here to dance. What?

You don't like your random guy?

No problem, we'll find you

another one in five minutes.

Ola, these guys are idiots. Look, my

guy truly believes chicken isn't meat.

You're always so picky.

They're fun and cool.

Look!

I know you like it

when I'm dominant,

but how about we

switch roles today?

If you want, you could

even call me Tomek.

Just kidding.

Okay, you big bad stud.

I really have to go

take a cold shower.

See you at dinner.

I'll make sure to bring

your special dessert.

Bye.

God help me, how does

Marcel put up with this guy?

Dude, hey, wait up, wait up!

Let's see if he has the app

for Planet Single on his phone.

Wait a sec.

Damn, no luck. Maybe he's got

another phone around here.

Wait, let me see once.

Okay, show me some

recent calls. Oh!

Uh-huh.

FROM NOW ON TEXT ME ON 725663785

-Wait, that's my number.

-Dude. It's an old trick.

The person believes

they're talking to Miguel.

-But the messages are coming to us.

-Yeah!

Hang on.

We're gonna unmask this

little Casanova, Bogdan.

-Spa.

-Ten o'clock.

Perfect, bro, no clothes, no

place to hide a weapon, right?

-Go!

-Crap. Leave it!

Hey! Wait, I didn't delete

that last message. Delete it!

I'm on it.

I could design a whole new

diet for you if you want.

-Special, you know? Tailored.

-Yeah, man.

Can I?

Okay. Sure, yeah, maybe later.

-Keep dancing.

-Okay.

Whoo!

Okay, easy.

-I'm good.

-Andrew!

Ma Maria!

-Hey!

-Wait. Wait.

Remember me?

-Um, yeah.

-Ania.

Oh! Jeez, the party's

really off the chain, huh?

You mean Ola?

She always starts all innocent,

next thing you know, the gates

of hell burst open. Yeah.

Ania?

Ania!

Whoa!

You see what's going on?

I think Miguel's got

his ex-boyfriend here.

And soon we can prove

that he's cheating.

How do you know he's

an ex-boyfriend?

Planet Bandit could've

been part of a team.

How many people did the guy scam?

He could have had a partner.

So this this might be a duo.

Be careful, your brain's

gonna short-circuit.

Give me that.

What'd you do, man? Battery's

drained all the way.

Hey, just remember, you wanted

to use my phone, all right?

Shut up, okay? I'll figure

something out. Come on.

Oh, Ania!

-You must be having fun!

-Ola, what happened to you?

Well maybe if you hadn't ditched

me again, you would know, huh?

-Ola, I didn't ditch you.

-Nice.

Me and Maria just stepped out

for Wait, have you met Maria?

-Hey, I've heard so much about you.

-You know what?

Tonight was supposed

to be just us two.

Like the good old

days. Remember?

Please explain how you go half a year

without calling me or texting. Nothing!

Explain how I'm still supposed

to believe you're my best friend?

-Boy, she's got a point, that's too long.

-What? Whose side are you on?

-Hey, you stay out of this, all right?

-Whoa, girls.

Relax. You know what? Why don't we

go on a long, romantic evening walk

-Listen, d*uche bag, it's game over. Go!

-Yeah. Get out of here.

The only reason you ever hung

out with anyone was 'cause of me!

I tried to break you

out of your little shell

because I didn't want you to go home

alone for the rest of your life.

You needed me!

Oh, oh, oh!

-You wanna party?

-You better believe it, girl!

Then we're gonna

be up past bedtime!

'Cause if I drink enough

Maybe I'll be more like you.

'Cause the truth is

I've always wanted to

be hot and crazy.

Ooh!

Maybe then I'd have a

chance of being a mom.

'Cause when I'm myself, I'm pretty

sure I don't stand a chance.

Bu

Jesus! Ania!

g*dd*mn!

Hey, focus.

All right.

What's the plan, huh, Sherlock?

First things first.

We need to scope out anyone here

who has a cell phone on them.

Okay.

Oh. Watch out.

Let's split up, okay?

Where are you? I've been

waiting fifteen minutes.

Call me back already!

This is totally unprofessional. I'll

I'll be waiting in the massage room.

Tomek! Tomek! Tomek!

Aah!

Tomek?

Aleksander?

Finally. You're late.

I've been sent to meet you here.

My name is, um

Bernardo.

There must be some misunderstanding.

You're not my type.

Well, you're not my type either.

You know what I'm doing here,

don't play dumb with me.

Very forceful.

I'm a big fan of that.

Uh, first, I'd really

like to get to know you

before we jump into business.

It'd be my pleasure.

You could start

with my shoulders.

I gotta say, Marcel surprised

me a little at first.

But it does make some sense.

Your show rents the entire

hotel complex from him.

Marcel basically gets free

advertisements, a bunch of cash,

oh, yeah, plus he gets

one of the very best directors

working in the business.

-Everyone wins, don't they?

-Totally.

Hey, explain to me, what

exactly is in this for Miguel?

-You don't know?

-No.

So tell me, how long

this has gone on for.

Mm. Well, it's not my first go

around, if that's what you're asking.

Mmm.

-I'm sure there were others.

-Lots. Oh, yes.

Where?

Mm, the usual venues,

Bangkok, Egypt, Szczecin.

Oh!

Marcel really only

had two conditions.

The first one was that

you'd be hosting the show

and the second

was that he and Miguel would be equals

in this, they'd split it down the middle.

Huh?

Believe me, I tried

to talk him out of it.

Business and pleasure.

You don't mix those, huh?

As you know, I found

that out firsthand.

That one still hurts, huh?

Nah. I moved past that one.

Me and Ania

It wouldn't have worked.

I see that now.

Oh, those poor guys, what

exactly did they do to you?

You wanna know

the nitty-gritty?

I want to know

everything, got it?

Every name, date, every address,

every single dirty thing you did,

and every transaction.

Well, that could

take quite a while.

Oh, I'm not worried.

I'm a patient guy.

UNKNOWN NUMBER

What's going on?

Look, you're barely eating.

You know, I just

I was wondering if, uh

If this show might

just be a big headache.

Might be smart to blow it up, forget

it, and just leave it for good.

Look, sorry, it's a bit

too late to just bail out.

-The loan won't pay itself, Miguel.

-I know.

Marcel, I'm just worried you might

be disappointed with the whole thing.

Miguel, remember the very

first place we visited here?

Juktas.

The traditional spot for lovers.

The cliffs are for the

rejected to jump off.

And it's also where the happy

couples declare their undying love.

Oh, there's my superstar.

Aleks, where'd you run off to?

-Ready?

-Always.

Tomek, Danuta.

Oh, I know you.

You're that random

Cameo guy, aren't you?

That's right, Tomek

here was once a TV star.

-Was this before the Internet?

-Yeah.

In the era of Chaplin, yeah.

Oh my God, so you knew him?

Okay, I'm outta here.

Time to go. Duty calls. Okay?

My regards to Ania.

I remember seeing you standing

just past the railing.

I mean, I thought I'd

have a heart attack.

All it took for me was

one look. That did it.

One glance, and the

island seduced me.

This is the place I

dreamed of all my life.

And you're the person

I wanna share it with.

I never said it would be easy.

I just know that all of the

struggle, it's going to be worth it.

And as our sweaty bodies

writhed together in ecstasy,

Salazar leaned over as we were catching

our breath and whispered to me,

in that lovely Moroccan

accent he spoke with,

"And that's why they call

an orgasm the little death."

I'd never been pleasured

like that before.

Bernardo! This was wonderful.

Combining a massage and a

therapy session is amazing.

I'm gonna recommend

you to everyone.

Oh, please don't. You see,

it's my last day working here.

-Oh, that's just tragic.

-Hey.

I've got a massage

special with Magdalena?

Mm, no, thank you, I'm fine.

"Bernardo"?

Bogdan.

Sorry.

Ah! Oh. Sorry, but can

I ask you a question?

Why would a wonderful woman like

you have to pay someone for sex?

Sex is simple enough,

but love is tricky.

A young, attractive guy

comes out of nowhere,

chats you up, adores

you, admires you.

He wants to have

you around him.

And suddenly you feel

attractive again.

You know, The Planet

Bandit had that down.

You know you know

about that guy?

Of course, yeah. All of my

friends have watched it,

he's sorta become our shared

little TV fascination.

We all fantasize about him.

But he stole

everything from his victims. He

emptied out their bank accounts.

Oh, come on, gimme a break.

They exaggerated that

for dramatic effect.

Most of my friends

piss away more cash

in a few bingo games during

a bad night at the casino.

Huh.

I'm a bit curious

about this though

He never actually

slept with them at all.

So he's a romantic, but he's

always just out of reach,

not seen much as a

lover as an ideal?

Yeah.

I can't believe it! How did I

not come up with that one myself?

-Okay. He's g*y!

-Oh, dude.

-That's bullshit, and you know it.

-Wait a sec, hear me out.

Planet Bandit would always

prey on women out in in Malta.

He is g*y, bro.

Where did Miguel and

Marcel meet? Malta.

Miguel's partner was supposed to be in

the sauna, and Aleksander was in there.

So wait, you really think that

Aleksander is Miguel's partner?

Bro, I'm serious.

Who except for maybe Miguel and Marcel

is gonna benefit most from the new show?

-Well, it'll be Aleksander.

-You.

Really!

Aleksander could produce

three hundred of these shows

with hosts that are younger,

better, and much more charming.

And he picked you,

didn't he, Tomek?

So you're actually saying

that one of the most important

and rich men in Europe,

uh, hand-picked Miguel and

made him pick up Marcel

to exact revenge for me stealing

his girlfriend years ago?

Wow.

Whoa, that's even better than

the theory I came up with.

Dude.

-What the hell are you up to?

-Quiet.

-Bogdan, what's going on?

-Shh.

Bro, they're listening to us.

There are cameras everywhere.

Sst! Did you know that

Aleksander's been buying up land

from Peloponnesia

down to the Suez Canal

and to top it off, he just

bought the company OVM?

Yeah, that company is

producing our show.

Have you ever wondered why the

weather in Poland is so bad?

-Because it's Poland?

-No.

Because they own a little outfit

known as the Weather Channel.

Bogdan.

Do you think the weather's

controlled by a few guys?

That Miguel's a con

artist mastermind?

And Aleksander is his boss?

I'm concerned.

Look, honestly, I'm concerned

you might be in the midst

of a serious and enduring

mental health crisis, Bogdan.

For your own good, I have to say, I

can't be the one to see you through it.

I'm sorry.

Hmm.

YOU'LL GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU

Okay, explain this one now.

Mm Look. Look!

He's handing over money to that

guy there. Make an excuse for that.

I have no idea. You

can hardly see the guy.

I don't It could be our toilet guy.

It I mean, we are having problems. I

Just look at it,

it's clear evidence!

You can't see anything.

How is this evidence, huh?

-What do you want?

-Marcel, I'm just worried about you.

I'm worried you might be in

trouble. What else is new?

But are you worried

for me or yourself?

Tomek.

Hey, don't make me

choose between you.

I'm glad you two are talking.

Well, it did take both of us

to drag you back to your room.

-So we didn't have much choice.

-Oh God.

Hey, I'm sorry.

No worries. That's what

friends are for, right?

We got some juicy details on

Bogdan as well, so it was worth it.

More like bland details.

We don't know much at all about you.

What's a girl like you doing here alone?

Hmm?

-In the market for a fun time.

-Mmm!

Any requirements?

I don't know, um

-Just something cool and simple.

-Mm.

So like what?

A nice, rich big shot.

-No strings attached.

-Hmm.

Or at the very least

someone who, uh,

doesn't live with his

mom and isn't a moron.

Oh, let's put Bogdan

in the cloning machine.

Um, we'll be showing you guys a

technique called the Eagle Claw.

There. So

Right on the eyes.

Once you've got him here, it's time

to move on to phase two, smack down.

Put your hip here, and turn in

Eagle Claw.

That's it? That's

just standard judo.

That would never be

effective in real life.

Waste of time.

He wouldn't listen to me and now

I'm the worst friend in the world.

Impossible.

Miguel has a meeting in the winery.

We might be able to catch him there.

Oh, good luck.

-Aren't you coming?

-No, of course not.

I'm not gonna team

up after yesterday.

What did I say? Did I

say something wrong?

Come on, man, we were partners

and then you told me

what you really think.

Uh...

-Let's put it behind us. Forget it.

-Big men have feelings too, all right?

You want me to get on

my knees and beg you?

Because of your stupid fantasy,

I was running around naked.

And what you made me

do in Miguel's suite,

in Hungary, you can go to

jail for a lot less than that!

Hello! Who let who come in

through the backdoor, Bogdan?

You were supposed to be

quick. In and out, bada bing.

I didn't know

you'd sh*t the bed!

What? Suddenly you're ashamed? I

saw how revved up you were getting

to take a risk and try something

new for once in your life.

Look, I'm sorry. Really, okay?

I apologize, man.

I know you tried and yeah,

I really appreciate that.

That means a lot.

Let's move on.

I want you to know that this

matters, it's super important to me.

Okay? Give me five.

Excuse me, I'm so

sorry to interrupt.

It's just nice to see two guys in love

talking through intimate problems.

-You guys are both so sweet.

-Mmm.

-Can we go now or what?

-Yeah.

Oh, thank you.

Rough night, huh?

Heard you might

actually be here.

I was worried you

were avoiding me.

You? Never.

I don't believe it. You've

been going on dates?

Via the apps?

Yup.

It's like constant

market research.

Not very romantic.

Yeah, but who said it

has to be romantic?

Jesus, if you only knew all the

awful blind dates I've been on.

And on the apps, you can really

see everything clearly right away.

-The relationships are simple and honest.

-Contractual.

Yeah, that's why they're honest.

Jeez, what happened to the hopeless

romantic who believed in true love?

That wanted to find a

soulmate for everyone.

-We both know the answer to that, come on.

-No.

We both know I would've been

completely wrong for you.

Got me there.

Back then I was a very

bighearted, naive boy,

with some huge plans.

I just didn't understand

how the world worked.

And now I do, Ania.

I have to tell you,

sometimes I miss your, uh,

your tireless,

never-ending optimism.

Me too.

Sorry, what?

Hm? Forget it.

You know

Don't ever give up

on finding true love.

Yeah, times have

changed, but you, uh,

you maybe changed

less than you think.

Sorry to disturb you, but I

I just got your feedback about,

um, the deck we submitted.

And?

I understand that sex and cheating

are all the rage in media.

But we have a chance

to change that trend.

It's low-hanging fruit.

Let's not pander, come on!

Marcel, you're

talking about Poles.

Poles are obsessed with shows that make

them and their kids feel like crap.

And trust me, I have the data.

You see the trailer?

-What trailer?

-Yeah.

AI is blowing my mind.

20 SINGLES ONE ISLAND

NO RULES NO CLOTHES

CAN LOVE SURVIVE?

ISLAND

COMING SOON

I don't get why all the

dudes are so hairless.

Just just just

hang on, lemme see.

-Mm.

-Oh, this guy's fine.

PLANET SINGLE

PROFILE-69. ACCEPT?

-Ola, stop, what's wrong with you?

-Let her practice!

-With the first man she finds? No.

-All right, gimme that.

I'm about to show

you how it's done.

-Oh, this guy's speedy.

-Mm. He's a slick b*stard, huh?

PROFILE-69 NEW MESSAGE

That's the first

message he sends?

Guess times have

changed. My God.

I don't think it's

supposed to be that color.

Needs a doctor.

Tell him he should consider

seeing a specialist.

Pass.

Listen, Planet Single

Classic was a success

because you were watching

real partnerships form.

It was all about finding the one and

the hope that commitment would last.

Bet it was.

Before algorithms.

Oh, poor little thing.

She looks a bit lost.

Maybe I'll show her around.

TOGETHER ON ONE PLANEMARIA, ALEKSANDER

PLANET SINGLE ALEKSANDER

ACCEPTED THE INVITATION

Oh my God, ladies, we matched!

-Oh, boy!

-He accepted?

-What's the approach?

-Uh

Come on, you were his 92%

match, you're perfect for this.

-What are your interests?

-Um

Uh, Chopin, Bergman. Ask him if

he's read most recent Tokarczuk.

Ania, we're being flirty, not

working toward a doctorate.

Oh, man. Let's do this.

Uh

Hmm.

Wait, what did he

write? Show me.

-He's really funny.

-Yeah.

Hello.

Tell him you like it too.

Are you stressed?

No way. This is

not my first time.

Good. Very good.

Let's go.

-Should we wait?

-No point.

Ania's on her way with

Marcel already. Follow me.

Hey, I think we better do

good cop, bad cop, okay?

-I call bad cop if we do try it...

-Shh!

Okay, on my signal.

Uh, please, can I?

Okay. All right. We're going in.

Could've opened up the door.

Shh!

Can I loosen it?

What? Darling, it

should be even tighter.

-That's too tight for me.

-But

-I don't want to rip it.

-Ow! Ow! Ow! Please be careful.

-Jeez, I don't wanna listen to this.

-I can't breathe.

One second. This is

it. We're moving. Okay.

Hold still.

How about this!

You boys having fun?

-Whoa, what's the matter?

-Nah, nah, nah.

My questions here, buddy.

Tell me, does our mutual friend

know about your secret meetings?

Marcel doesn't know. And it'd be great

if we could keep things that way.

Oops. Too late.

Miguel, what's going on?

Marcel, honeybun, give me a

chance, I can explain everything.

Oh. Why don't we start with how

you paid this guy right over here

for some dirty sex.

-Oh, come on, that's not true.

-Really?

He's an artist, a musician.

We were trying on his outfit.

And as for why I

was paying him

He was working on this staging,

that's why I hired him.

Oh.

This is so adorable!

Miguel.

Were you

gonna ask me to marry you?

Well there, your Honor, uh,

you caught me, okay?

Marcel, you can't believe that,

he's full of crap. Just listen.

Uh, Marcel, hang on a second. He's

lying, there was another guy! Right?

The photographer.

Hey, sorry I'm late, I

almost forgot the album.

I'm glad you're here.

It documents our romantic journey,

starting with our first date.

It's beautiful.

Oh, Marcel. You mean it?

It's incredible.

But he's a swindler.

I swear, he's the

The It's him! He's the

guy! The Planet Bandit!

It's true, he's the the

Planet Single Bandit!

-Bogdan can tell you. Go ahead.

-No.

-Listen

-Shut your mouth!

Marcel, Marcel. You see

what he's doing here, right?

He's been planning this

from the very beginning.

Ever since you two

first met in Malta.

First, he made you fall in

love. Then he convinced you

to sell your properties in Warsaw

and buy this resort in Greece.

And why does he want this

wedding? Why get married?

It's so he can get half

of everything you own!

-Tomek

-No, I I

I am not gonna stand by and be quiet

while my closest friend gets married to a

-a fly-by-night con man!

-Enough!

For my entire life,

my purpose has been to help you

make all of your dreams a reality.

Your wants and ambitions.

And mine always came second.

Have you ever once asked

me what I really wanted?

Mmm.

No.

And I never held

that against you.

I never regretted it either.

Until now, Tomek.

Marcel, wait for me!

Marcel!

That's low.

-Can't believe I could be such an idiot.

-You're not alone.

Oh, yeah, by the

way, thanks, partner!

All that talk about having my

back. And you just stood there.

I'm sorry, my God! I told you,

confrontation isn't my strong suit.

I can't take it. I'm sensitive.

I'm a delicate flower.

Yeah, whatever.

Doesn't even matter.

Guess it's just another in

a long string of failures.

Oh, stop feeling

sorry for yourself.

You're a still a celebrity, a

star. You have a charmed life.

A celebrity? Sure. Twenty

years ago. Come on.

Do you know what my

savings account looks like?

I'm one step away

from being on welfare.

This project was supposed

to be my last chance.

And it's the only project

I've had in years.

If it blows up, I'm done for.

You still got Ania.

It's exhausting,

what we're doing.

The constant appointments,

the medications, the pills.

And nothing. We get nothing out of it.

No results. We're back at square one.

Think Ania would ever

be able to move on?

You moved on, right?

You know, once that

child is finally born,

and you get a peek

at that first smile,

and you start to hear

their first words, it's

I swear to God, it's like

magic. It makes you change.

Because, in the eyes of that

kid, you're like Superman.

And you start to believe

that's who you really are.

The key is just to avoid

obsessing over this stuff.

When I think about

starting the process over

and having to do

it all over again

I mean, I'd jump at the chance.

It's worth it.

How about some fish?

Okay, let's grab a bite.

-Oh my God, look at her.

-She looks gorgeous.

I'd tap that myself.

Look, the bottom line

is that Patrick Swayze

couldn't beat that

guy at anything.

Not a damn thing. It's Bruce

Lee we're talking about.

Have you seen Road House?

He rips some guy's windpipe

out with his bare hands, bro!

All that's left is a

giant hole and some gore.

Come on, dude.

Patrick Swayze should

play ENT specialist then.

Do you know how strong you'd have to be

to rip someone's throat out like that?

Hey, that's the

Planet Single guy.

Look behind you.

I told you they were partners.

What's he doing? Is he?

-He's here.

-Oh God.

Sorry I'm late. It's

been a crazy day.

-Hey there.

-Yes?

I'm good, c'mon, c'mon.

Jesus Christ, look at this

d*uche bag taking a phone call!

-He's being

-Jeez, come on, this is horrible.

Mm. I'm sorry about that.

-Business.

-Ah.

Okay, so

Tell me about yourself.

I've got a better idea.

-Wait, where're you going?

-For Miguel.

And bring mezze. Whatever is

ready, okay? Whatever's ready.

How about we each

confess something?

A secret that you've

never admitted to anybody

before this date.

We have to promise each other

that we won't ever tell.

Now Miguel's coming over.

Unusual.

-Mm?

-Mm.

All right.

I'll do it for you.

Except maybe you

should go first.

-Okay, I'm putting this away.

-Miguel?

Good evening. Are you

enjoying the restaurant?

Yeah, it's phenomenal.

Uh, you know, you look familiar.

We met earlier, didn't we? I think

No, I, um I

would've remembered.

Maria.

Mano!

Right here!

By the way, the chef has

prepared some local delicacies

for our specials tonight.

Let's do appetizers first.

-Okay, your secret. Keep going.

-Oh, right.

I was maybe 20 or 21 and

Your flamouriana.

A special soup made with

delicious, fresh tomatoes.

Oh, no.

You kidding me?

Wait, that look like

an accident to you?

Oh.

Uh

-I, uh

-Don't touch me. Would you God!

I'm sorry.

Jesus, my God.

-She can't stop

-I don't get how she's just laughing!

You know what? I hate to say

this. It's just, that col...

I'm sorry, but that color

doesn't look good on you.

Is she serious? Is she serious?

You got any other garnishes?

Hey, over there! Look!

It's sabotage.

-Huh.

-We can't let him, we

We we have to do something.

Hey, relax, he's probably

just seasoning the food.

What do you mean? Look.

You're not getting

away without a story.

-No, no. Wouldn't dream of it.

-Okay.

Okay, you're 21, right?

Yeah. About that age and

-Again, sir, I really do apologize.

-Oh, come on.

If you've never eaten like a Greek

god before, well, uh, you're about to.

House special.

Come on, hurry.

Thank you, sir.

Please, I wanna hear this.

All right, I'm 21,

and I'm going to see a new

gynecologist for the first time.

Mm-hmm.

So, the guy brings me in and tells

me to get myself ready for the exam.

I start stripping down, I take

off my underwear, and I'm naked.

The guy turns around.

He looks alarmed.

-Hm.

-His eyes are bulging. I have no idea why.

And finally, he tells me

that the gynecologist

practices a few

doors down the hall.

And that he's a dentist.

That happened to you?

A dentist.

Oh, my

What's the matter?

Oh, no.

Hang on.

Jesus, no, he's choking.

-Don't you think we should help?

-Jesus, come on, dude.

Hang on, I'll help

you. Just wait.

What if he croaks?

Please. My God. Come on!

Stand up, stand up, stand

Here.

Jeez, hold on

Oh my God!

Aleks. Aleks.

Jeez.

I'll probably go with the soup.

-I'm sorry.

-It's okay. It's okay.

-It's no problem?

-No problem. Yeah. Thank you.

I'm sorry. I'm very sorry.

You okay?

Oh God, so, yeah,

this's my place.

Yeah. Uh

-Listen.

-Hm?

This evening was

surprising, in a good way.

And I wish it wouldn't end.

I don't remember

saying it's over.

Hm?

-She shoots, and she scores.

-Yes, he's going

-Yes, yes, yes, she did it!

-She did it!

Are you kidding

me? We nailed it!

I feel like I'm

back in high school.

-Hey, Ania.

-Jesus!

Phew.

What're you doing here?

Look, me and Bogdan are currently

collaborating on a theory

that Aleks is in some kind

of alliance with Miguel.

-What?

-Yeah.

We saw Miguel dumping mysterious

spices into Aleks' dinner.

And before that, Miguel started receiving

threatening messages and warnings

on his cell phone.

And how do you know about these

threatening messages on his phone?

We picked up his phone. We

broke into his apartment.

-We pulled a switcheroo.

-Sorry?

Please.

Listen

-It's not like we robbed anyone.

-Yeah.

So, because of some

conspiracy theory,

you've been running around pretending

to be detectives for two days?

We only got into

his computer though.

-I've had enough. I'm done.

-Come on, dude.

Where the hell

did my husband go?

-What? I'm right here, honey.

-Bogdan!

-Ola!

-Bogdan!

No matter how much you

drink, I'll always carry you.

-Tomek, look

-Ania, yeah I

Okay. I know I screwed up earlier,

but I'm serious about all this

That's an understatement.

Marcel was mortified.

Okay, I was just trying to

protect the guy, all right?

Really? Why can't you just admit

that you're afraid of losing him, hm?

You're clinging to some memory of

your past and you can't move on.

'Cause the past was good.

Things suck now, it's so empty,

and it's bound to get worse.

Oh, wow.

-Thanks a lot.

-Ania. No.

Ania, I didn't mean us.

That's not what I was saying.

You think it's easy for me

to smile and just act like

everything's okay? It isn't.

And I know

it's been a lot harder

than we expected.

I just really hope we can, um, make

it through, you know what I mean?

Please don't disappoint

me on that front, okay?

-Who is it?

-Wolf!

Ah.

-Didn't let you in the bed?

-Couch. And you?

-Beach.

-Oh.

All right, you win. Come on.

What do you want?

Look, I'm sure your husband

probably loves you dearly.

He's just really

bad at showing it.

He barely notices me.

Hmm

My first husband always wore

jackets, no matter what.

He he could never hang them up

right. He'd just throw them wherever.

On the counter in the kitchen,

on the floor in the bathroom,

in my daughter's closet.

I mean, it drove me nuts.

After a while, I couldn't bear it,

and pretty soon I divorced him.

Now, thirty years and

three divorces later,

I've come to the

conclusion that might've

Been a stupid move.

He was a really good guy.

Why didn't I just hang up

those those jackets myself?

I'm so damn stubborn, and

I really regret that now.

Thank you for that.

The truth is yesterday, I was

Behaving like a

complete jerk. I know.

-Yeah, a jerk who is jealous.

-Right. Jealous.

A jealous jerk, okay?

Obviously, I should've trusted

Marcel. He's always had good judgment.

I, uh Well, you know, I'm sorry

about any hurt or pain I caused.

-I apologize. I'm sorry.

-We. We apologize.

Hey, why don't you, uh,

apologize separately, okay?

So are we cool?

I appreciate this a lot.

It takes a big man to

admit he's made a mistake.

-Tomek.

-Wait, wait.

-Tomek!

-Just hang on a minute, Bogdan.

-You're gonna get your turn.

-No, I'm serious, you have to see this.

-What?

-Look.

Hmm

You I knew it

Is something wrong?

You just got a message

claiming that your identity

will be revealed to the police

if you don't leave the

island in the next two hours.

-How'd you get my phone?

-Magic.

So you are the swindler

of Planet Single: Island.

I knew it from the start.

-Okay, call Marcel.

-No, come on, please don't.

Please, I'm begging you.

It's true, at first, I was just going

do another con, but then when I

Met Marcel and got to know him, I

fell in love and my life changed.

I kept thinking about

turning things around,

starting a whole new life,

but I screwed up the

whole thing, all my plans.

I ruined everything.

Everything.

Marcel deserves

to know the truth.

No.

Marcel would be crushed.

So how about this?

I'll leave the island.

I'll leave for good.

Like a total coward.

Please, keep Marcel in the dark.

Tell him a lie.

Give me five!

Dude?

Hey, what's going on? Bro,

you got what you wanted.

Where you headed?

'Sup, dude?

Tomek. Come on in.

You know You must

really have some ba*ls.

-Sorry?

-Don't play dumb, man.

We know everything.

We've seen your messages.

Miguel confessed this morning.

He told us the whole thing.

And now he's gone.

-I'm sorry to hear that.

-Yeah?

You knew from the start that Marcel

was never gonna be able to do the show

the way he imagined it.

You were stringing him along

this whole time, and why?

Just because I'm involved,

and you wanna get even?

Quite an ego.

Take your stupid little show

and shove the whole damn thing

all the way up your f as*h*le!

What's that about?

That was just the last

gasp of a dying career.

I don't get it, where did he go?

I don't know, but I think

he left for good, Marcel.

-Look, I'm sorry.

-What'd you say to him?

Nothing. We stopped by to apologize,

but he had already skipped town.

That just makes no

sense. How could that be?

I don't know, with the wedding,

maybe he just got cold feet?

What wedding? Miguel didn't

even get a chance to ask me

'cause of this moron over here.

This is all your fault!

Until you showed up here,

everything was perfectly all right.

Maybe I should have

never invited you.

Fine, I'm sorry, okay?

I'm sorry, it's my bad.

Blame me, come on, go right

ahead. It's fine with me.

Oh, maybe it's all my fault.

All I've been talking about

lately is this stupid show,

and he told he told me not to do it,

and I I and I just kept pushing it,

-and I kept pushing

-Marcel, stop it, all right? Come on, hey.

As for the show, I don't think

Well, I'm pretty sure you can

stop worrying about that now.

What are you saying?

Well, I may or may not have just

had a little chat with Aleksander.

Oh God.

All right, Tomek,

what'd you say?

What else did you screw up, huh?

You're always welcome

to our couch in Warsaw,

we'd be honored to have you.

-Whoa, Marcel! Wait, wait, Marcel! Marcel!

-Get off!

Here. Easy. Just calm down!

I don't understand. Everything

about it seemed real.

My best friend tried to call it

out, and I still wouldn't see it.

In in part because I

thought you were jealous.

I was jealous.

I'm sorry about your lip, Tomek.

-I think I had it coming.

-You didn't have

Yeah.

I guess you did.

If Miguel's plan

was to demolish what

we built together,

then, fine, so be it.

I can do that too, Miguel.

You spend all your

time with someone.

Pour your whole heart into it.

And a moment later, you find out

you've been completely misled.

This's a picture

of our first date.

In Malta.

And Miguel got his shirt dirty,

so I offered him my

scarf that night.

And he wrapped it

around his neck,

and he told me he'd

never give it back to me.

-Ola?

-What?

What on earth?

-Marcel, this picture's from Malta?

-Yeah.

So?

-Maria.

-Maria.

Who is Maria?

Wow. Finally, he

grants me an audience.

-I wanted to say goodbye before I left.

-Ah. Right.

Well, hurry it up, 'cause I

made plans with Aleksander.

What, you want me

to be impressed?

Actually, I should

probably be thanking you.

'Cause that soup spill was first class.

A perfect icebreaker for the first date.

-You know, you don't have to do this.

-Yeah.

I have to, Miguel.

'Cause I'm not stupid enough

to actually fall for a guy

who was supposed to be our mark.

Please, don't say that, come on.

You left me.

Your own sister.

You and me have been side by

side for most of our lives,

but you'd hang me out to dry

for some bullshit romance?

-It's not bullshit.

-Oh.

I'm serious, I've

never felt this before.

-It's love.

-Well, that's great.

We've spent our whole lives telling

ourselves that love is impossible.

What if it's an important

part of being happy?

You should give it a chance too.

Get off me.

-Get out.

-Please, don't.

-You made your choice. Go.

-Maria!

-Get out.

-Maria!

So it was Maria scheming on

the other end of the phone.

Exactly. She's acting

as his silent partner.

She's been writing the messages.

Both of them are the

-Planet Bandit!

-Planet Bandit!

You're amazing! You're

amazing! I love you!

Oh, wait a minute. Are we sure

Marcel was supposed to be the victim?

Or is it Aleksander?

Yes! So she was using Marcel

to go after Aleksander.

I'm such an idiot. I can't

believe I led him to her.

-Ugh, God, that little sl*t!

-Ania!

A b*tch. Can't say "sl*t".

But that would mean Aleksander

has nothing to do with any of it.

For God's sake!

I don't get why Miguel would put

poison in his food during dinner.

And why did he spill the soup?

Nothing makes sense anymore.

He wasn't trying to

poison Aleksander.

All he wanted was to disrupt

the date, you see what I mean?

Because he knew Maria was

trying to swindle Aleksander.

He did it because of

our love, you guys.

He was protecting me.

He loves me!

Listen, we have to

save Aleksander.

Without his investment, the

whole show will go belly-up.

Oh God! I burned

everything we had!

I burned our backstage passes to ABBA.

I think they'll be sold out by now?

Marcel! Our primary

focus is Aleksander. Hm?

-Enjoy your weekend.

-Thank you.

-Um Hey, boss.

-Hey.

-I'm looking for the lady in thirteen.

-Uh

Pretty sure she checked out.

She got in a car with Aleksander

about fifteen minutes ago.

-They went to the Palladium.

-Ugh! b*stard!

The press event.

Uh, boss, Miguel left

this for you at the desk.

What is it?

Marcel, what's going on?

-I have to go.

-No, you don't.

We have to get to the

press event and find Aleks.

Yeah, uh, you guys go

on, I'll be fine, okay?

Tell us where

you're going. Jesus!

Gotta follow my heart.

Let's go crash a

press conference.

I can park that, sir.

-I'll be back.

-Thanks.

Juktas. Please, just be there.

Look, here come Wolf and Ania, the

faces of Planet Single Classic.

Hey! Wolf, how's it feel now

that you're passing the baton

to the upcoming generation?

It's like, uh, like getting

on a bike with no seat.

It's horrible and it hurts,

then over time you

get used to it.

Uh, always been a big fan, Wolf!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

-What?

Come on, guys, he's a star.

-Yeah, I'm a superstar.

-Our orders from the boss.

He's not allowed in here.

Really? What?

Okay. Good luck, my friend.

-Get back.

-What? I'm not a superstar.

I'm a normal human.

-Where the hell you going?

-There.

-No.

-Okay.

"No." A no's a no.

-Whoa, whoa, wait. No.

-No way. Got him?

-Get out of here!

-See you back there. Go!

-Hey, hey! Police brutality!

-Push him back out!

Back. Get outta here!

That's good, right?

That's what I said. He'll

be playing all night.

I'm onto you. You

little grifter.

So I'm gonna go do my best

to distract Aleksander

Ola!

-It's a dying business.

-Hey, babe.

Ania.

-So you made it.

-Thought it might be somewhat enjoyable.

Maria, this is Ania

-We met at the beach.

-We've known each other a long time.

Let's go.

Come with me, let's reminisce

about the good old days.

Old pals, you know what

us girls are like, eh?

Put your hands down, you clown.

-This is your chance, partner.

-What chance?

For you to go all Bruce Lee.

All right.

Move your a*s!

Stun!

Dude, it worked!

Go!

They got away. The fat one

did some Olympic judo sh*t.

Not the hair. Don't touch it!

-What's your plan here?

-Can't you tell?

-I'm seducing a billionaire.

-Shut your mouth!

Admit it, you're a con artist.

I mean, we all

pretend, don't we?

Some of us like to pretend to be younger.

We sell some fantasy of an ideal life.

Except we all understand deep

down that it's bullshit, right?

See? Man, I told you it works.

Gotta admit it, yeah,

that was impressive.

Hey, you! Don't move!

I've got them.

Okay.

Run away. Run. Go now.

No!

Bogdan!

Why did you do that?

We're partners. It's my

duty to watch your back.

You're my hero.

Please don't let my

sacrifice be in vain.

I'm sorry, I gotta go.

-Hurry.

-Hang in there.

Thanks.

Give'em hell.

Who told you you

could sh**t people?

You're not a real cop.

What's wrong with you?

What an absolute moron!

So, you guys want a cut?

Say, a ten percent finder's fee?

-Back off, and get out of here.

-Oh, please.

I've put myself through too

much pain to give it up now.

We might just be forced to

tell Aleks who you are then.

Sure, yeah, tell him everything about me,

but then you can say goodbye to your show

and the hotel, and

Marcel will be screwed.

All right, let's gamble.

Oh, sweetie. You both better

learn how to bluff first.

And it seems like you

don't have much real proof,

so who's gonna persuade Aleks?

His unfulfilled,

jealous, mousey ex?

Or the chick he just spent the

best night of his life with?

Cheers!

She's pretty good.

Time to move to Plan B.

We made a Plan B?

Oh, so it's my turn to

have a heart attack?

Marcel?

Please, go away.

'Cause the next part

is gonna be ugly.

Come on, you know

I can't leave.

Go away!

I used you, Marcel.

I don't love you.

My sister was right about me.

I'm just a liar.

I ruin everything I touch, okay?

I can't spend the rest of my life

knowing that I screwed everything up.

Or knowing that I hurt

you. I can't do it.

Then spend the whole rest

of your life proving to me

that you really can be

better, that you care.

Make the effort for us.

Don't you think we're worth it?

Sorry, it's complicated.

Whoever said it's supposed

to be simple, Miguel?

You'd just forgive me and

We'd move on?

I betrayed you and you'd be

willing to forget about it?

I don't know.

I have no idea what's next.

If there's any chance you're the

man I believe you are, then I

I'm not giving up yet.

Maybe mouth-to-mouth?

Here, I'll help him.

For almost a decade now,

the Planet Single Classic dating

app has retained its status as

number one in all of Europe.

Then we made Planet

Single Hookups,

and now, we are dominating

the global scene

and blowing out the competition.

Bravo!

And today, you're

in for a treat.

Brands have to

evolve to survive,

and with that in mind, we have

something absolutely original.

I'm proud to introduce

a new reality show,

Island!

And now, someone very special.

Our guest today is gonna make

sure nobody gets too bored.

He's the life of any party.

Please welcome,

straight from Ibiza...

Tomek Wilczyski!

Thank you!

It's just incredible to be here

with everyone. Thanks, guys! Hey!

I can tell this is a great crowd here

today, so glad I agreed to do this.

Get the damn microphone.

Do it quietly.

Aleksander's absolutely right.

There just aren't enough

places in the media landscape

where people can enjoy watching

empty sex or cheap drama!

I'm not saying this sort of idea

is horrible, but it is actually

It's actually a fantastic

concept for a show.

-Who is that?

-Who

Who needs a partner

when you could have endless choices

to make sure you don't get bored?

We all get fed the stupid

myth of partnership and love.

But the truth is that

the "happily ever after"

story is bullshit!

-That's right!

-Excuse me?

Yeah, baby, preach!

Aleksander's right.

The initial idea for this show,

Marcel's idea, would've been a bore.

You know, originally, it was supposed

to be about couples meeting on an island

and overcoming challenges together

through the power of love and empathy.

God, I'm falling asleep just

talking about it. Right, you guys?

So dang dull!

Luckily, thanks to

Aleks' brilliant insight,

we can all get back to

checking in on hot couples

who don't have to worry

about these problems.

Just pure fun and sex. Mmm?

Just all the easy parts.

No hassles or hang-ups.

And when they get bored

I mean, we all do it, don't we?

We just don't

appreciate what matters.

We become totally obsessed

with all the things we

could have had in life.

And day by day, it eats at what's

most important to all of us.

We keep on drifting apart.

And whatever happiness

we had starts to fade.

Because the truth is

that anything worth doing

demands care and attention and

work. And that includes love.

At the end of the day, true

love doesn't come easy.

It has to be fought for.

Ah! No! No. Don't touch me.

Fascinating, I mean it.

Really, guys. Fascinating!

I just don't know what you

think you accomplished.

Listen, whatever happens

here doesn't matter,

you've got a bigger problem.

Did you know she's a con artist?

Plus, she can be a

real slu... b*tch.

And she has hair extensions.

She must be losing it, I dunno.

Maria,

it's over.

Look, just be honest.

What does he mean?

What's going on here?

Maria is a professional

con artist.

She's using you. All

she wants is your money.

Everyone wants my money.

Thank you for your concern.

Relationships, they're all transactional.

Give a little, take a little.

-He's amazing!

-Popeye, please remove these people.

Are you are you

crazy, Aleksander?

Ania, this isn't Notting Hill.

You can't just crash my press

conference, then grab a microphone

and rattle off some

half-baked speech

and think that's enough to

disrupt a major financial move.

Besides, uh, Marcel's

concept is just stupid.

Well, personally, I

believe it's brilliant.

Please stay out of this, okay?

It's none of your business.

I can't, I'm sorry.

As the company's CFO, it's well

within my purview to evaluate

the potential of this new show.

Mama, please don't.

-Wait, you're his mom?

-I didn't mention that?

It wouldn't have mattered.

Marcel's pitch cuts against the grain.

It's not what our competitors are doing.

And I can tell you, whoever

stands out will win.

So, I'm going to take over

producing your brand-new show

and meanwhile,

you run along with your new toy.

I think by now we're all fed up

with stories about shallow men

who just want to screw around

and get their rocks off,

so maybe it's time we told a story

about love and commitment for a change.

Marcel, sweetheart.

Now, tell me all your brilliant

ideas. In detail, my dear.

Oh, of course.

Mothers.

They just can't help it, that

they have to spoil the fun.

Have any plans?

The yacht's waiting.

Please. Let's get

the hell out of here.

-Galapagos?

-Galapagos? Wait, why?

-I'm buying some cell towers.

-Towers? Oh my God, he's Tomek!

Tomek, did you hear that? Tomek!

No, Bod Bodzio. Now,

drop it. It's all right.

Tomek, where are you going?

Me and my girl got

some catching up to do.

Bodzio! There's a

group I found online

that claims to have

discovered a link

between weather control

towers by roads and

Love is here

And?

In every dream I see

In every breath you breathe

Mm.

It's all around

There you are.

I'm back.

Don't you see

I'm living this life for you

And every day we dream

Is reason to be

This is the world for me

For you, for me

This is the place for us

In every moment

-Life

-Life

-Give me the little love

-Little love

-Give me the sweetest kiss

-Sweetest kiss

And from now on to forever

Life

Mwah!

We start sh**ting in a month.

God, can't wait. We're

so excited, Marcel.

Ah.

Best of luck, man!

-Can't wait to be the cool uncle.

-Same to you.

Okay, so see you

in Warsaw, right?

-Hell no! You kidding?

-Hell no! We're coming with you.

-You're going with us?

-That's right!

-They're coming with?

-Sure, why not?

Uh, what about 5G towers?

-It's fine. My conspiracy cleanse worked.

-We'll come visit soon.

Well, there you go.

-Hey.

-Aww!

Let's do it.

Hop!

Planet Single Forever!

It's the perfect title!

It'll be a huge hit!

You know, I've been thinking,

and I have a feeling last

night might've been it.

Yeah, I I've been

feeling hopeful about it.

Whatever happens,

we're a team, right?

Always.

Love is here

In every dream I see

In every breath you breathe

It's all around

Don't you see

I'm living this life for you

And every day we dream

Is reason to be

This is the world for me

For you, for me

This is the place for us

In every moment

-Life

-Life

-Give me the little love

-Little love

-Give me the sweetest kiss

-Sweetest kiss

And from now on to forever

-Life

-Life

-Give me the little love

-Little love

-Give me the sweetest kiss

-Sweetest kiss

And from now on to forever

Life

This is the world for me

For you, for me

This is the place for us

In every moment

-Life

-Life

-Give me the little love

-Little love

-Give me the sweetest kiss

-Sweetest kiss

And from now on to forever

-Life

-Life

-Give me the little love

-Little love

-Give me the sweetest kiss

-Sweetest kiss

And from now on to forever

Life