04x13 - Demon Lisa

[bunniefuu]

You make man?

No.

Woman.

Woman.

It's my creation.

Ooh, my creation.

It's my creation.

I do not know.

It's

from my heart and from my hand.

Why don't people understand?

He's alive.

Alive!

Our party is kicking butt.

There are people here we didn't even
invite.

You know what?

That costume isn't doing much for our
reputation as Frightmeisters.

Halloween's supposed to be scary.

People want to see blood and gore.

Not some mute, wiggly Frenchmen.

What?

You don't think mimes are scary?

Check it out.

Look, I'm trapped in a box.

You're right, wife.

You're really starting to frighten me.

So, Lise?

You enjoying your first Halloween?

Is it just me or is this a really creepy
holiday?

People dress much nicer for Easter.

Come on.

Get into the spirit of things,
Lise.

Halloween's supposed to be spooky.

It's all about ghouls and ghosts and the
undead.

And tight-fitting costumes.

Come on, Lise.

You can help me pass out the candy.

Trick or treat.

Lise, what did you do?

That was a bunny.

Yeah, a four-foot bunny.

It was a kid in a costume.

Where is she?

Don't worry.

I just sent her down the road a little.

Mommy.

Mom.

All right, Lise.

What's going on?

I'm just worried about tonight.

I had a really weird dream.

I dreamt I was on the internet.

Out of the shadows came this hideous black
thing.

A cyberdemon.

A cyberdemon.

I could feel its hot, stale breath on the
back of my neck.

But I couldn't make myself turn around.

Then it grabbed my arms
and hissed in my ear that

it was going to use me
to take over the world.

And then it laughed and laughed and
laughed.

And I really couldn't see the human taking
over the whole world.

So you had a weird dream.

But you don't understand.

Genies don't dream.

Well, there's a first time for everything.

I think this thing was real.

And I think it's coming after me.

There's something evil in that box.

Relax, Lise.

I don't think there are any cyberdemons on
the internet out to get you.

Come on downstairs and join the party.

See, nothing to worry about.

Just people having good, clean fun.

Did I scare you two little candy corns?

Very funny, Chet.

God, I love Halloween.

The stench of rotten eggs, the heady aroma
of a bag of flaming dog poo.

God help me, I love it.

Goodbye, Chet.

Chill out, sis.

Don't worry.

I'm not gonna woo in your wittle party.

Just stopped off for some a*mo.

Not rotten yet, but they'll do.

What are you doing?

There's no rope there.

Why are you pulling?

Why aren't you going anywhere?

And why don't you answer me?

You're stupid.

I'm gonna go find somebody to make out
with.

It's here.

Wyatt, that thing from my nightmare.

It's here, somewhere in the house.

I can't see it, but I can sense it.

Pure evil has crushed our party.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, let's see.

If I were pure evil, where would I lurk?

Is it melon boy?

Or is it the kid who came dressed like a
booger?

Or maybe it's inhabiting the...

Swedish meatballs.

Well, they're not good.

They're not evil.

Hey.

I made those meatballs.

This is silly.

There's no computer demon.

I'm being paranoid.

Wyatt's right.

I mean, he was right about those
meatballs.

Just the wind.

It was just the wind.

Trick or treat?

Who are you?

Don't you remember me?

Or did you think it was really just a
dream?

I'm not afraid of you.

Well, you shouldn't be.

Because this is going to hurt.

You're not just trying to get me up here
to make out, are you?

How would I do that?

Huh?

I gotta warn you, it's pretty bad.

Oh man, I am dead.

How could this have happened?

I promised Mom no alcohol.

You meant the catatonic zombies.

All right, Elise.

Now you're starting to show some Halloween
spirit.

I'm afraid Lisa has
become demonically

possessed and is
unavailable to take your call.

Would you care to leave a message?

Okay, Lisa.

This is scary.

We're very impressed.

But the party kind of dies when all the
guests turn into zombies.

Silence!

You should have listened to your genie
when you have a chance.

You're not with the mime stuff already?

Who are you?

I am the essence of all that is evil in
the computer world.

You're Bill Gates?

What have you done to Lisa?

Cyber space is boring.

How much can you do when you're nothing
but a disembodied stream of evil electrons?

To interface with your world, I need a
vessel.

A body.

And this one will do nicely.

Understatement of the year.

Even in this body, I am still tied to the
computer world.

To break free of my cyberspace prison once
and for all.

I must have more memory.

Couple more brains worth.

Nothing will be able to stop me.

Hold still.

This will hurt.

Crap.

It's not coming after us.

Must be confined to my room.

Good.

Then let's get the hell out of here before
that thing finds an extension cord.

That thing is still half Lisa.

We have to find a way of getting rid of it
without k*lling her.

How?

Somebody's got to go back in there and
reboot the computer.

Come on.

Don't be a wussy.

You do it.

No.

You do it.

You do it.

No!

Three more for the collection.

The hunt was good.

The gods are pleased.

What?

So let's recap here.

You're gonna pay me 50 bucks just to walk
in there and unplug your computer.

Cash.

The catch being you've got a demon in
there.

Basically.

What a load.

Take a look.

Holy aliens.

Forget it.

I'm not going in there.

You can clean up your own damn mess,
Mr. Computer genius.

I'm sorry, but the manual's a little
sketchy on demonic possession.

So let's get some help.

Call a computer repairman.

An exorcist.

Somebody.

Damn, the modem's still hooked up.

Wait.

Your dad has a cell phone, right?

We can use that.

What?

Don't say we have a good idea.

You're telling me there's a psycho hell
b*tch upstairs...

who wants to suck our brains out with a
straw...

and you're afraid of getting in trouble
with your dad?

You could put it that way.

Well, we either use the cell phone...

or somebody's gonna go upstairs and unplug
the modem.

Okay.

So here's the plan.

I'll burst in with a shoulder roll past
the bed...

and lay down a light strafe of suppressing
fire.

Follow up with smoke grenades... and
a commando crawl to objective Charlie.

Huh?

The wall socket, you moron.

Then I'll pull the plug and it's bye-bye,
Cybertramp.

Step back, canker wankers.

Oh, goody.

It's just me and you again.

sh*t?

What'd you do to him?

I was going to suck his brain...
but it hardly seemed worth it.

He makes a much better pet.

Isn't he a sweetie?

I would k*ll for one of those little
disposable cameras right now.

Uh... Why?

I think we could use your dad's cell phone
now.

Try not to stay on too long.

Computer tech support.

Uh... Yeah, my computer's
really acting up on me.

Can you be more specific, please?

Look, let's just cut to it.

The computer is possessed by an evil
cyberdemon.

What'd they say?

Great.

I think they hung up on me.

Hello?

Hello?

Yeah, hello.

Can I get some help, please?

Did you say a computer was possessed by a
demon?

That's the deal.

Crackling energy?

Umbilical cords?

Zombie brain drain?

Yeah.

I'll be right there.

Said he'd come right over.

You didn't give him the address.

He didn't ask.

Somebody here call tech support?

Your computer's possessed by a demon?

Yeah.

Still on the warranty?

Just run out.

Ain't that always the way?

Of course.

I knew it was only a matter of time before
you arrived.

We'd meet at last.

Never knew you were such a babe.

This whole thing?

Just a little something I tossed on.

You two know each other?

Prepare to be rebooted, Cyrus spawn.

Think you're mad enough?

I don't.

I don't.

What the hell is that thing?

High intensity ultraviolet beam emitter.

Should be strong enough to flash any
motherboard in a nanosecond.

I think I'm gonna slow it down.

Okay?

Time to pull out the big g*ns.

You're not really from tech support,
are you?

I used to be.

I, uh, I work freelance now.

I intercepted your call on my scanner.

Halloween's always a busy night.

You know what this thing is, don't you?

Kid, I've been from one side of the
internet to the other.

I've seen all kinds of weird stuff.

Rogue viruses, programs going bad.

There's a version of Windows 3.5 lurking
out there that's just plain mean.

But I've been after this one for a long
time.

Okay, we're online.

Damn, we're cutting it close.

How close?

In a couple of minutes, that demon will
have all the memory it needs.

Once it's free of the computer,
there's no stopping it.

So, what now?

Well, I can send the power surge through
the cable to the computer upstairs.

It'll fry the CPU.

It'll sure give that harpy a hell of a hot
foot.

Won't that wipe out all my files?

Yep.

We can't do that.

No, that's right out.

What could you possibly have on your
computer that's more important than

sending this demon back to where it came
from?

Stuff?

You know.

You're gonna have to do better than that.

We have a magical genie named Lisa who
lives in my computer.

I wish you'd told me that before.

That's a whole different ball game.

Okay, plan B.

Take me to the fuse box.

If we can't flush her out of the computer,
then we'll have to shut her down.

Cut off the power at the main breaker.

That should've stopped her cold.

Gotcha.

Good plan.

Damn.

She's one step ahead of us.

What the hell is that?

Demon goop.

Fresh.

Five, ten minutes tops.

She had Swedish meatballs for lunch.

So what now?

Our last chance to stop her is to cut the
power line.

They always say the safest place in a
lightning storm is up on the roof.

We'll be right back.

Can I do this the easy way?

Uh... Mom will get mad.

Hope he's had his rabies shot.

Don't k*ll him.

Don't worry.

Yeah, boy.

Come on.

Baby.

Come on, boy.

Come on.

I guess it's cats that land on their feet.

Timmy Bankies?

Not quite.

Freedom is mine.

And nothing you do can
stop me from unleashing

my reign of darkness
on the entire world.

I... Shh, shh!

Everybody, be quiet!

Hello?

No, I'm sorry.

Mr. Donnelly isn't available at the
moment.

Okay.

You're welcome.

Bye.

Sorry.

Go ahead.

As I was saying, I'm off to rule the
world.

No!

Everybody, too long for this moment.

We've played this game of cat and mouse
too many years, you and I.

It ends here, tonight.

Face me now, or I'll hunt you till the end
of time.

Let's tangle.

Suit yourself.

I think I can make it to the Patterson's
pool from here.

Whoa!

Well, just you and me now.

Yeah.

Yeah, but there's three of us.

Lisa?

Lisa, I know you're in there.

You can't give in.

You can do it.

I know you can.

It's me.

It's Wyatt.

Remember, I helped create you.

You gotta wake up and fight.

The power of our friendship is bigger than
any cyberdemon.

Fight, Lisa.

Fight!

Put it on a Hallmark card, mortal.

Cool.

What is this tiny annoyance?

Digital TV.


Why rule an ugly, colorless
world of three dimensions

when you can have something
that's better than reality?

Satellite television.

Oh, my God!

It's full of stars!

Tom Hanks!

Robert De Niro!

Sharon Stone!

I can see it all from here!

Spray on hair!

Episodes of Wings every hour!

Full of frontal nudity!

All for just pennies a day!

I don't want it!

Please!

Lisa, what happened?

That thing left me.

It was like it found something more
interesting.

I loaded that cyber spawn into the cable
satellite network.

A place where it can
spew evil till the end of

time and it won't make
a damn bit of difference.

It may feel some residual effects of the
possession.

Dizziness, headaches, rude outbursts.

You stink!

Give it a couple of days.

Brave Gary returns.

What?

I was trying to lure the demon into the
pool.

Give it a rest.

The repairman did it.

He's the one to thin.

Where did he go?

It's a bill.

Ouch.

He charges the holiday, right?

If I were you, I'd pay it.

He's the one to.

His loss was the one to crime though.

How do you think?

This is the second one.