05x13 - Magic Comet Ride

[bunniefuu]

Careful, Gary.

Exposure ot even one drop
of the eboloa virus in fatal.

If anything happens, I'll turn purple
and bleed from my eyeballs.

Ooh! Ah!
The monkey's carrying the virus.

Don't panic. I'll catch it.

Don't touch anything.

As long as we're in there
air tight suits we'll be okay.

- Oh!
- Ah!

I'm exposed, I'm exposed.

Wait, are you okay?

I can feel it invading my system.
It's happening my my cells.

Hi, guys. Bad time?

- Ah.
- What's going on?

Well, I wanted a flower
arrangement for my mother,

I wished for a bowl of irises.

Not ebola virus.

Yikes, sorry, my bad.

There, all better.

What do you mean,
all better, you nearly k*lled us.

I don't know what happend,
I thought a bowl of irised and zapped.

It should have been fine.

Um... maybe
your techinque needs work.

You know, instead of the point
and zap thingy you could do this.

I could tweek my nose.

Oh.

This isn't about technique
the point is we can't keep having

our lives threatened everytime
we make a wish.

I'm sorry. I didn't come
with an instruction manual.

I don't mean to be a bad genie
I really don't.

And I could do a lot better
if I could just,

just have the answers
to a few questions about myself.

- Well, we created you, ask us.
- Yeah.

Nobody knows more about you
than we do. Fire away.

Okay.
Where did I come from?

How does my magic work?
Is God aware of my existence?

I... um, I don't know.

Don't look at me.

Oh.

I didn't do that.

Looks like some kind
of cosmic fortune cookie.

Visit the Genie Master.
All questions answered.

Look there's a map.

Somebody up there likes me.

That's where I'll get my answers.

Gere, packed your lunch.

Don't stop at any stray planets,

you go straight to that comet
and you come right back.

I promise. Bye, guys.

Oh, I almost forgot. I left a
present for you an Wyatt's bed.

I know you are going to have
a lot of fun with it while I'm away.

- A gift?
- Whahoo!

I'm going to open it, sucker.

Not without me you're not.

Nice.

Hello?

- Oh!
- Scared you I did.

- A little.
- Tricked you, made you jump.

Yes.

- Excite you?
- Don't push it.

Sorry.

Lonely am I.
On a journey are you?

- Desire you something?
- Answers.

Oh, you seek the Great Genie Master.
Give you answers he will.

- Really?
- Umm...

Can we start right now?

I have so many questions
I want to ask you.

Me? No.
First find Genie Master.

Oh, come on. I know it's you.

Ah, no. Power is he.
Small in statue am I.

But you're the one who sent me
the fortune cookie, aren't you?

Of course you're him.

No, he is not here.
Far away he is, Yes. Very far.

But if you're not him,
then I've come to the wrong place.

All I wanted was some answers.
Now I'll never know.

Oh, dear.

Please, cry not.
Genie Master am I.

Just having fun with you I was.

Got you I did.

The stupid thing doesn't open.

Read the card again.

"Dear Gary amd Wyatt,
this gift is guaranteed fun."

- There's no instructions?
- Nope.

Maybe it's just stuck.
Let me try.

It just needs a good kick.

I could have told you
that wasn't going to work.

- Hey, let's throw off the roof.
- That's why you're the brains.

Many others like you there are
in the universe many others.

I want to learn all about them,
and about me.

Learn you will. But first,
pure must a genie spirit be,

if entry she is to earn
into the maigcal kingdom.

Well okay, but if I have to
listen to that.

It's a small world song I ain't going.

Niruana is a magical kindgom.

Enter and total enlightenment
you will receive.

Cool.
So how do I become pure?

Tests of virtue you must pass,
yes. Many tests.

- Bring 'em on.
- Tomorrow we start. Tonight you rest.

Okay.

How does one spend
an evening on a comet?

In thought and meditation.

Considering the metaphysical
implications of existence in the universe.

- I brought Uno.
- Deal.

Did it move?
I thought I saw it move.

No. It hasn't moved.
It hasn't done anything

and it never will.
It's a useless, worthless total.

Cool box.

Babe magnet.

It's a babe magnet.

What a shape.
It's so smooth and three dimensional.

And it looks the same from
every side. It's a perfect cube.

- Where'd you get it?
- Can't tell you.

Oh, come on please.
We have to know.

Yeah, we'll do anything that you want.

I love this box.

Look, those guys have a sphere.

Ooh.

I hate this box.

Discipline you must learn.
Concentration.

- You're going to tickle me, aren't you?
- No.

Balance the feather on your nose
you will.

Still and quiet you will
stay until I return.

Uh...

Touched you I have not.

- I know, but's gonna tickle.
- Concentrate.

- Quit it.
- All in your mind is the tickling.

Is not.

- Is too!
- Is not!

Is too! Failed you have.

- Doesn't tickle. Huh.
- Ha ha!

- Doesn't tickle.
- Ha ha!

Only the pure of spirit
can create absolute beauty.

Pure, perfect.

Conjure this you can?

As well as.

Ah.

It's got a little cottage inside
you see.

And it snows too.

Hmm.

That's pure beauty if you ask me.

Hmm.

You're watching static?

What's up with that commercials
on the weather channel?

- Can't change it.
- Remotes over there.

So. Get up, get it.

If I get up, I'll never get
my space back on the box.

- Gary.
- Box.

That's right. Just plain old box,
nothing special about it.

Completely functional.

Lisa made it, didn't she, I want in.

- No.
- No, she made it for us.

At least let me look at it.

Back off, man,
just you back off.

Whoa! Okay.

Okay, your box.

It must be one hell of a box.

I got the box.

So, what's it do?

Every test have you failed.

Of course I did.
I'm a lousy genie, that's why

I came here for help and now I'm never
going to get my questions answered.

Fear not.
Exceptions there are.

Really?

One final test there can be.
If accomplished pure you become.

Like a bonus round?

Difficult and arduous it will be.
Face your deapest fears.

I'm not afraid.

You will be. You will be.

- Be what?
- What?

- You said I'd be something.
- Afraid.

- I'm not afraid.
- You will be, you will be.

Stop yelling, you're scaring me.

I'm scared,
can't you come with me?

Alone you must be.
Trust in all you have learned.

But I haven't learned anything.

Oh, if I get into trouble
I can always zap myself out.

No, magic you must not use.
Or fail you will.

No magic?

What if I can't do it?

Fond of you I am.
Confidence I have.

Go.

Fifty, fifty chance I give.

Okay, Lisa, you can do this,
be brave,

answers you've longed for
will finally be yours.

GENIE MASTER:
Face your fears or fail you will.

Oh, shush. Why can't be talk
like a normal person.

Face your fears got to face your fears.
Fears, fears, fears.

Well, I'm not scared anymore,
I'm cold, hungry

and pissed when I see that runt
again I'm going to give him some fear.

- Aah!
- Ah, hobgoblin.

Thought she would pass
this one I did.

I failed again, didn't I?

Tried to make it easy I did.

Now I will never knoe what
I am all about.

I failed at everything.
I failed myself.

I should just go.

- Wait there is another way.
- Really, what?

More tests?
Strenouus training?

The well thought outconsidered
opinion of a high tribunal?

Call it in ther air you will.

I'm good at this. Tails.

Best two out three it should be.

Boys, I'm afraid this black box
of yours has caused quite

a disturbance here at Farbor.

As you know I have a duty
to maintain order.

Therefore since classes
have been disrupted,

hallways congested,
not ot mention the fact

that certain undesirable

followed you here because of it,
I'm confiscating your box.

Now I want you to return
to your classrooms

Chester to whatever hole
he crawled out of.

Couldn't we just stay here
and, uh... be with the box...?

- No.
- You don't understand.

We need it.
We have to have it.

You can pick it up at
the end of the day.

You always were a funbuster.

Then I suggest you all seek
counselling in regard to

this unhealthy obsession with
this simple wooden object.

Good day, gentlemen.

Good day, gentlemen.

- Best eleven out of twenty.
- Heads.

Yes, heads it is, passed you have.

Of course. I'm so good.
Do I get move on now?

No. There is one more thing.

Celebrate we must.

Master. Will you tell me
what I want to know?

Help you if I can.

Did Gary and Wyatt make me or
did the universe make me for them?

Sent by the universe to help
the boys you were.

All that you are,
created you they did.

Is that why my magic is so unreliable?

A genie's magic drawn
from within it is.

Spontanious and unpredictable you are.

And your magic follows suit.

So I'm stuck forever
with a crumby zapper.

Find your mistakes endearing,
some do.

No more questions will I answer.
All will be revealed in the Magic Kingdom.

It's beautiful.

Always difficult to say goodbye.

Not goodbye more like so long.

This is a one way trip.

Once you enter the Magic Kingdom
forever will you be it's guest.

But what about Gary and Wyatt?

Do they need you still?

No longer are they the tragic social
outcasts thay once they were.

Oh, come on.
They weren't that bad.

Lisa's memory is not
as long as her legs.

Dweebs, they were. Losers.

They have turned out, okay,
haven't they?

Yes, well, you have done your job.

Now the Magic Kingdom
awaits you. Answer lie within.

Go.

Can I just see them
one more time before I leave?

I'm the king of the box
and I bring you no chance.

Now, I Wyatt am king of the box.

Hey, you said we were going
to be cokings.

You fell for it, sucker.
All hail King Wyatt.

Sure looks like, they're having fun.

Is the Magic Kingdom fun?

Perfection and knowledge await you.

But Gary and
Wyatt will be there not.

Now you've got me doing it.

Infectious I am.
Hurry you should.

But I'm not ready to go.

Longed for this you have.

I can't leave my friends.

I want to follow that rainbow,
just not right now.

Maybe Gary and Wyatt
don't need me any longer

but I still need them.

Hm. Then passed the most
important test of all you have.

- What's that?
- Accepted yourself you have.

Know your mind you do.
A better genie you will be.

This comet return it will in 100 years.

It's a date.

Well, it's good to hear your trip
was a success.

Glad we have an unbroken genie.

Turns out I wasn't broken
to begin with.

So how did you like your present?

Ah, are you kidding?
We loved it.

This is the best thing
you've ever zapped up.

You have no idea what it is.

- No.
- Not a clue.

Well, first you have to activate it.

I'm Kelly. I like shy intelectual types
with limited social skills.

Ah.

Hi, I'm Rachel and I like guys
with 8 inch biseps and poofy hair.

Wait till you see my 4 inch calfs.

This is the best gift ever.

What happened?

You guys just clapped off.

They're not coming back, are they?

Come back! Come back!