01x06 - Chameleon

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown!

All: Aah!

All: Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Captioning made possible by Warner bros.
TV animation

in today's training,
we will divide

the Shen Gong Wu among you.

The exercise is called--

Omi?

Xiaolin surprise!

Ha. Sounds like an appetizer.

This is an advanced
training technique

that relies on a powerful
inner force we call--

ooh! Ooh!

The instincts of the tiger.

Which is--Omi?

The ability to predict
your opponent's next move.

Nyah
na na nyah nyah.

Yeah, like you can really
read minds or something.

I knew you'd say that.

You--you did?

Ha ha! No.

I'm only, as you say,
pushing your arm.

Pulling his leg?

Oh, my badness.

Aah!

Omi.

To harness the tiger instincts

is to know what will
happen before it happens.

Like so.

Omi, Clay? Take your places
in the sparring circle.

Choose your Shen Gong Wu.

Eye of Dashi.

Monkey Staff!

Ay! Look out!

Whoo-ee, Omi.

You sure are quick on the draw.

Thank you, my friend

in the 2-gallon hat.

Uh, that's 10-gallon hat.

Heh. Not anymore.

Winner advances. Kimiko, choose.

Third arm sash!

Mantis Flip Coin!

Whoops. Sorry, Rai.

You gotta learn
to duck, partner.

Winner advances.

Raimundo.

Omi's instincts against
my street smarts?

Well, this'll be fast.

Choose.

Fist of Tebigong!



Clay: Ouch.

With a capital "o".

A lucky guess. I wanna go again.

As you wish. Choose.

Tangle Web Comb!

I'm good.

You chose nothing?

No.

I knew your frustration

would lead to your own defeat.

Whoa!

Excellent training session.

Maybe I'm missing the point.

We're never gonna go
after each other.

And Jack's only got
one Shen Gong Wu.

A pair of chopsticks
that can shrink him

to the size of a grain of rice.

We could take him out
with a fly swatter.

Ha ha ha!

Jack!

Jack!

Changing Chopsticks!

Where have you been?

And what is that horrible noise?

It's my new theme music.

I'm programming my
robots to play it

whenever I do something evil.

Turn that down!

Wuya, Wuya, Wuya.

You just don't
recognize evil genius.

If you were a genius,

we'd have more Shen Gong Wu

than the Changing Chopsticks.

Don't knock the chopsticks.

No Shen Gong Wu,

loud music,

a bumbling boy and
his useless robots.

Who are you calling
useless, you hovering hag?

What is this abomination?

Ugly, huh? That's
my chameleon bot.

Show wu your program 88.

What kind of spell?

I've programmed in
quite a selection,

but my favorite is this.

Heh heh heh!

Ooh.

Is that...Kimiko?

Or just a stunning recreation.

Brilliant!

We replace the real Kimiko
with this duplicate.

She'll steal all their
Shen Gong Wu and--

then it's world
domination, Baby!

Check this one out.

Ha ha ha!

Our mouths are most grotesque.

Like that?

Wait till you see this.

Oh. I was expecting a
close-up of my nostril.

But this is interesting, too.

Stupid Raimundo.

It's a virus he sent me.

Is it contagious?

Only if you run on software.

I've got a message.
From a secret admirer?

Meet me inside the
meditation temple.

Another Raimundo prank.

All right, Raimundo.

Come on out.

Spicer? It's been a long day.

Leave now, and I promise
not to kick your butt.

Oh, I'm leaving, all right.
And you're coming with me.

Oh, really? Who's gonna make me?

You are.

Hi there.

What is that?

Kimiko, meet Kimiko.

Or should I say meet your match?

She's you...

Hi there.

Only a little perkier.

Hyah!

Ungh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

And a little harder-edged.

Go on, test her metal.

She sure packs a punch,

doesn't she, Kimiko?

Ah ha ha ha!

Agility. Timing. Balance.

These are the traits
of a great warrior.

And the tiger
instincts, right, Omi?

Naturally.

Being a lucky guesser,

guess which cup the
candy is under.

If you're right, you keep it.

If you're wrong, you owe me.

Now, you wouldn't
bamboozle our buddy here

just because he put a
heap of hurtin' on you

in trainin', now would ya?

Keep your eyes on the cup.

That's my plan.

Hee hee hee!

Ha!

The cup on the left.

Triple or nothing!

Prepare to cough up candy.

Are you suggesting that I have
stored candy inside my mouth?

That would be most unsanitary.

Pick a cup!

Here. Enjoy the tooth decay.

Hey, fellas. What up, Raimundo?

Those shoes are really nifty.

Uh, nifty?

Kimiko, did you find
your secret admirer?

That data has no
meaning to this unit.

Is that a new hat, Clay?

Yup. The one I was
wearing yesterday

got hit by a Lightning.

Well, I hope you get hit
by Lightning every day,

because you look super keen!

Keen?

Thanks...I think.

So, let's grab some shen
gong wu and start training.

Uh, we only use the Shen Gong Wu

when the master says so.

Processing. Processing.

That is correct!

That is why he's the master!

Well, I'll take a stroll, then.

See you later, alligators.

Something is very
wrong with Kimiko.

You think so, Omi?

I know so.

My tiger instincts tell me.

No, Kimiko's just playing us.

I don't know what she's selling,

but I ain't buying.

Don't fret about it, Omi.

Who can understand girls anyway?

You're wasting your time.

Only Master Fung

can open the Shen Gong Wu vault.

You're kind of
impressed with me.

So not.

Well, you'll be impressed
by my chameleon bot.

But as perfect as it is,

I'd rather have the real
you around any day.

Evil and creepy. Ha.
What a combination.

Well, maybe when I
rule the world--

Jack!

A new Shen Gong Wu
has been revealed.

The Helmet of Jong.

That's my cue.

Enjoy getting your bot kicked.

Never happen.

Not with robo you on my side.

And don't bother sending a
message to your friends.

No transmission can
escape the force field

around my very evil lair.

Just gonna play a game.

Maybe update my address book.

Omi: The Helmet of Jong.

It gives you eyes in
the back of your head.

I presume you get to keep
the ones in front as well.

Look alive, g*ng!

I got Shen Gong Wu shivers.

And so, we begin the search

for the Helmet of Jong.

What are you staring at?

Just my bestest,
bestest buddy ever.

Raimundo!

Whatever.

Right! There it is.

Where?

Look dead ahead.

Do I have to spell
it out for ya?

Please.

The statue's head.
The statue's head!

How easy do I have to make this?

The one and only Helmet of Jong.

What is that?

Sounds like trouble.

Ha ha ha!

Trouble it is!

Well, see? Very evil entrance.

Theme music helps.

You're wasting time!

Am I? What do you guys think

of the theme from Jack
Spicer, criminal boy genius?

Good hook,

but I like something
you can dance to.

Well, I'm working on a
techno remix that should--

get the Helmet of Jong!

I'm going. I'm going.

Kimiko, I challenge you
to a Xiaolin Showdown.

My Changing Chopsticks
against your third arm sash.

First one to grab the
Helmet of Jong wins.

Hunky Jack Spicer, I
accept your challenge.

I'm not up on the
slang you kids use.

Does hunky still mean dreamy?

Both: Let's go!
Xiaolin Showdown!

Ha! Ha ha!

Make it look good.

Third arm sash!

Aah! Aah!

Not that good!

She's got it. She's got it!

Whoa!

She doesn't got it.

Ha ha ha!

I got her.

Ooh!

Ay, girl. What
happened up there?

Yeah. You had the helmet
practically in your hands.

I, um, tripped.

Oops.

I win.

I win again.

Face it, Raimundo.

He's all over you like
stink on a skunk.

Ah-ah! The master
isn't through yet.

Gotcha, don't I?

No. The Ace is in your sleeve.

I only hesitate because I'm
thinking of Kimiko again.

Or perhaps I should say

the one who calls
herself Kimiko.

Your tiger instincts
are keen, bro.

But your theory about Kim is...

I don't know, it's--

buggier than a June bug?

Yeah. It's buggier
than a June bug.

No. I am sure of
myself on this matter.

But if you will not listen,

perhaps Master Fung will.

Wha!

Kimiko. We must speak.

Omi?

Oh!

Master Fung.

I thought you were Kimiko.

Oh? Really?

Master, I have been plagued
by doubts about Kimiko.

I think Kimiko is an impostor.

And you thought I was Kimiko.

Your recognition skills may need

fine tuning, young monk.

You think I'm buggier
than a June bug, too.

No, I think you are a young monk

who has worked very, very hard

and needs his rest.

Thank you, master.

Hyah!

Aah!

Is there a problem, young monk?

Jack: We just hit the lottery.

All we have to do now
is pick up the prize.

Hey, Kimiko. You might
wanna watch the monitor.

It may be your last chance

to see your friends
in one piece.

Whatever.

I'm way deep into a
game of mind creeper.

Mind creeper? I love that game!

We'll play doubles after
I conquer the world.

Sweet!

Now a little infrared beaming.

Yeah!

Thank you, Raimundo.

See? You see? You see? You see?

I see but...

I do not wanna believe.

Nifty! I should've
caught it at nifty!

Impostor!

Show your true form!

How about if I show
you this instead?

Hyah!

Both: Whoa!

Ow!

Yeah! Ooh!

Aah!

Fist of tevigong!



Changing Chopsticks!

Jack Spicer, evil boy genius.

* la, la-la, la-la

Eye of Dashi!

Aah!

Aw, man!

That's the second hat this week.

Now I'm mad.

Let's get in the game, my man.

Wind!

Earth!

Oh, yeah. Keep 'em coming.

Omi: Tangle Web Comb!

I hate to be rude,

but you three are
acting very naughty.

You cannot hold us
all, evil impostor!

Or maybe you can.

You three put up a nifty fight,

but now I--

huh?

Kimiko!

I am so glad that you are back.

I have been telling
the others for days

that you were not--

not yourself.

She is the impostor, Omi.

No, she is.

Omi, help!

Don't help her!

She's nothing but
a cheap knockoff.

I'll show you a knockoff!

Aah!

Boy. How we gonna
solve this one?

The instincts of the tiger, Omi.

You can do this.

Ha-cha!

Nice job, Omi.

How'd you know which
one was the real one?

Tiger instincts. Awesome!

Actually, that time, I guessed.

Wha?! Wha?!

Guys? Where are all
the Shen Gong Wu?

Ha ha ha!

This is most unfortunate.

Gone. They're all gone.

Kimiko: Not all of them.

The Mantis Flip Coin.

That ain't much.

Spicer! This has gotta be
the work of Jack Spicer.

It sure is.

But how did he do it?

And you said the Changing
Chopsticks were useless.

My mistake.

You have done well, Jack Spicer.

Evil genius well?

Don't ruin the moment.

Sorry.

But it is quite a haul.

Yes! Especially this!

Soon Malamala jong
will rise again!

What's a Malamala jong?

All good things in
time, dear Jack.

And some bad ones, too.

Ha ha ha!