01x10 - Big as Texas

[bunniefuu]

Captioning made possible by Warner bros.
TV animation

Xiaolin Showdown.

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Are you sure Clay
wants us to do this?

Of course.

Remember, if the hat
doesn't hold 10 gallons,

he gets to return
it for a free one.

But why does it have to be milk?

Cowboys, cow milk.

Milk comes from cows, too?

We get ours from
mountain goats here.

Clay: Hey, fellas!

Huh?!

Only 9 1/2 gallons.

You get a free hat!

Raimundo!

Think fast!

Ohh! Grr.

Aah!

Hey, what's one hat

compared to your best
friend Raimundo's life?

You are Texas toast, Rai.

Ecch! Uhh!

Uhh! Ohh!

Ah, Raimundo. Have
you seen Clay?

I have a surprise visitor for--

sweet yellow rose of Texas, boy.

Daddy?

We are most honored

to have such a famous cattleman

visit the Xiaolin temple.

Did you know they
make milk from cows?

Uh, yeah.

I reckon I did.

It's a mighty purty
temple, Clay,

but it don't look like the
kind of training I had in mind

when I let you come here.

Daddy, there's more to it than--

I think it's time

Clay came back on
home to the ranch.

But the quest for the shen
gong wu is important.

More important than
listening to your daddy?

No, sir.

The Xiaolin have
always taught respect

for the ways of the elders.

If you wish for your son
to return, we will--

Dojo: Heads up, folks!

Brand-new shen gong
wu coming through!

Say, nice thingamabob.

Clay: That's the
lone star of Texas.

Been in the family
for generations.

It gets passed
from daddy to son.

You know,

it looks kind of familiar.

I think I've seen
one just like it.

Dojo, the Shen Gong Wu?

Huh? Oh, right.

Ah, the Orb of Tornami.

Its small mouth holds back

a mighty flood.

How do you make that
little cartoon fella

move like that?

This is perfect.

Daddy can come along for
a Shen Gong Wu roundup.

Then you'll see why
i got to stay here.

And you can tell me
the ancient secret

of making milk from cows.

Ha ha!

The Orb of Tornami is mine!

Bow before me.

Ha ha ha!

Hurry up, boy.

You gloat too much.

Don't undercut my
evil moment, please.

Now where was I?

Oh, yeah. Evil laugh.

Ha ha ha!

Jack Spicer already
has the Shen Gong Wu.

But we can still surprise him.

I have a very good plan.

What are you,

some kind of ladies
knitting club?

Just get in there and
hogtie that runt.

Yes, sir.

Hey!

Clay!

Oh, boy.

Ha ha ha! Uhh!

Get the Shen Gong Wu, you fool.

Orb of Tornami!

Lookie, lookie. The
g*ng's all here.

Drop the Shen Gong Wu, Jack.

Well, Clay, since
you asked nicely,

I'll...Laugh in your
sorry bumpkin face!

Ha ha ha!

Boy, get in there

and face that chump
in the chops.

Uhh!

Orb of Tornami!

Whoa, partner!

Whoa!

Uhh!

A perfect strike!

I'd love to stay and gloat,

but I'm told I do
too much of that.

Oh, so true.

So I'll just say my
patented exit line.

So long, losers!

Ha ha ha!

What were you thinking, Clay?

Yes. I had a very,
very good plan.

Lots of kicking and
flipping and--

I'm sorry,

but I had to prove
myself to daddy.

Daddy: The only thing you proved

is what a mistake i
made letting you join

this silly xiao-pow
ring-a-ding quest

in the first place!

Say good-bye to your pals, Clay,

'cause you're going
home to Texas,

and you ain't coming back.

Kimiko.

Raimundo.

Clay.

Don't look at me.

I got stubby little
dragon hands.

Ahh, I miss Clay.

It's not really the same, is it?

You can say that again.

I still get to make fun of Omi,

but half the time, he doesn't
even know I'm doing it.

I wonder what Clay
is doing right--

you make fun of me?!

Oh, man. I miss Clay.

Too bad his daddy's
such a stubborn cowboy.

Yeah, but you got to dig
the man's sense of style.

That tie slide
thingy is really--

whoa!

What is it, Dojo?

I just realized

why the lone star
looked so familiar.

It's the Star Hanabi.

I'm guessing that's
a Shen Gong Wu.

Yeah. It must be inactive.

That's why I didn't
notice before.

But if it activates,

Jack and Wuya will
be all over it

like kiju flies on a
sun Berry blossom.

I miss Clay and his
colorful metaphors.

Ah, nothing like the
open range, huh?

Looks like they even got
a cattle drive going on.

Ooh! I will milk you
and you and you.

Ooh, and you with the
long horns, get ready!

Sorry to burst your
milk bubble there, Omi,

but those aren't milking cows.

They're more the get-along
little-dogie kind.

Perhaps.

But once I master the art

of the milked cow,

none will be able to resist me!

I never heard such hogwash.

But they wouldn't
lie to you, daddy.

The lone star has
been in the family

since the first
settler dug it up

right here back in 1849.

Yeah, but who do you think
buried it back in 549?

It is very dangerous to
hold a Shen Gong Wu.

Once it becomes active,

Jack Spicer and Wuya

will stop at nothing to get it.

It's for your own safety, daddy.

The only one that can take

that star from me is Clay,

and that's only after
he proves he's a man,

a real Texas man.

But, daddy--

tell you what,

you want to show
me what you got,

you move that herd
down to the river.

Ooh, herd of cows?

I will finally master the art

of the milked cow!

Son, this ain't no dairy farm.

It's a beef ranch.

There's old Bessie
out in the barn.

She's still a milker.

All right, have at her.

The rest of y'all can help Clay.

You start tomorrow,
crack of dawn.

Um, I'm really more

of a crack of noon guy myself.

Dawn is cool, too.

Raimundo: Oh, all right.

I'm up, I'm up.

* oh, give me a home *

* yeah, yeah

* where the buffalo roam *

* h*, h*

* and the deer and the
antelope play, ooh *

* where seldom is heard-- *

is someone playing maracas?

Aah! Rattlesnake!

Please don't hurt me.

Please don't hurt me!

Uh, I hardly know you.

At least buy me dinner first.

That's it! I'm out of here!

Aah!

Ooh-whee!

That's a right purty
outfit, Kimiko.

Not my usual thing,

but anything with sequins

can't be all bad.

Oh, I feel silly...

And sleepy.

Well, that's the
life of a cowboy...

Except the silly part.

Clay! Clay! Uhh!

Uh, I may need a smaller hat.

Perhaps a 6-gallon?

We'll see what we can
do about that, Omi.

Very well. Have fun on
the ranch, cowpokes!

Return thirsty for milk,

because I will be
making buckets of it.

Pfft.

Good morning, old Bessie.

My name is Omi,

and I will be your
milker this morning.

Now let us shake hands

and have a good, clean milking.

Ah, yes.

I will shake your
milking parts instead.

Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ok, buckaroos,

let's get this cattle
drive a-moving!

Yeah.

Giddy-up.

Raimundo!

Whoa! Mama! Stupid!

Hate cows!

Aah! Uhh!

What did I just land in?

That would be a cow pie.

No. I know pies.

Pies have cherry or
apple or rhubarb.

This is no pie!

I apologize

if my greeting was improper.

I am new at this.

Let us make peace
and then make milk.

Shall we be friends, old Bessie?

Aah!

Oh, boy. We got a stray.

Hey, Kim, you go round him up.

We'll get the rest
moving for the river.

Ropingacow.Com.

Could you try galloping

a little less bouncy?

You know what? Forget it.

Let me down.

Here's how it's going down, cow.

I rope you. You get roped.

Nobody gets hurt. Nobody sues.

Ready? Go.

Holy cow!

I mean, holy you!

I can't believe that worked!

Kiko? Kimiko.

I totally caught a cow.

Can you believe--

aah!

Get along, little dogies.

Yah! Move those
sirloins and t-bones.

Howdy!

Kimiko?

Come on in. The dirt's fine.

Aha!

Aah!

Heck of a good day's
work, compadres.

Ohh. Tell that to
my saddle sores.

Where's Omi with my milk?

Old Bessie,

you are a very worthy foe,

but you will be milked!

Aah!

Aah!

Uhh! You will be
milked tomorrow!

Oh, hello.

I was just saying good night

to my new friend old Bessie.

How are the cows?

All at the river,

just like daddy wanted.

Then the Star Hanabi's ours!

Well, I hope so.

Daddy don't impress that easily.

Guys! I've been looking all
over the ranch for you!

The Star Hanabi
just went active.

Oh, no. Daddy!

You 2 must be some
kind of goofy.

If I ain't giving the lone star

to my own son,

I sure ain't giving it

to a mama's boy like you.

Did I sound like I was
asking permission?

Jack bots, attack!

Hey! Hey!

Get off of me!

Uhh! Uhh!

Daddy!

Nice place you have here, Clay.

Too bad about the sudden
change in weather.

Orb of Tornami!

Uhh! Whoa!

All: Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Grab my hand!

Uhh!

Ha ha! Jack Spicer.

Did you think you
could defeat me

with my own Xiaolin element?

Old Bessie.

You all right, daddy?

Ha! Yeah.

Now get that no-good rustler.

Is it just me

or are they making this
easier every time?

Don't get c*ck, boy.

Just get to safety.

Safety from what?

No! That's cheating!

Jack bots, attack!

Uhh!

Hyah!

Ohh! Uhh!

There you are, old Bessie.

Now stay here and don't worry.

Could you give me a lift?

Aah!

Hyah!

Jack, I challenge you

to a Xiaolin Showdown.

Clay, I challenge--

crud. All right, you pick.

My Serpent's Tail

against your Orb of Tornami.

The Orb's getting old.

How about the sword
of the storm?

I haven't used that
to kick your butt.

And you ain't gonna
this time neither.

The star goes into a haystack,

and whoever finds it wins.

What is this? Xiaolin hoedown?

Could you be any more of a hick?

Whatever. I accept.

Uhh!

Both: Let's go.
Xiaolin Showdown.

Bessie, you've been remodeling?

What are these for?

Reckon we're supposed
to ride 'em.

Uh-uh. I don't do saddles.

Whoo-hoo!

Fine. Let's get it on.

Both: Gong Yi Tampai!

Check the bottom, Clay.

It's got to be at the bottom.

It's not down there!

But you ain't even
digged there yet.

You need a pitchfork!

Somebody get him a pitchfork!

Whoa, Nelly!

Stop wasting time
with the little guy!

Cowboy up, boy.

I'm trying.

Serpent's Tail!

I see it!

No! You're doing it all wrong!

I thought soccer dads were bad.
Ugh!

Uhh!

Aah!

Have this.

Sword of the Storm!

Ha ha ha!

The star!

Giddy-up!

No time to dillydally, son.

Get in there!

Uhh!

Daddy, I love you,

but if you don't mind,

zip your yap

and let me get the
job done my way!

Huh?! Mm-hmm.

Um, Clay,

I know this is a big
daddy-son moment and all,

but...

All for Jack.

Come to papa.

Hyah!

Ha ha.

Yee-haw!

Huh?

Huh?

Aah!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah!

And that's how we take
care of business,

kung fu cowboy style.

Yee-haw!

The way I figure it,

this still belongs
to you, daddy.

Whoa! Time-out there, cowboy.

Clay, you won it
fair and square.

It is not safe for your
daddy or the world

to leave it here.

Maybe so, but it ain't mine,

leastways not till I'm a man.

Clay, I reckon you've been a man

longer than I realized.

Gonna be a shame to lose

such fine ranch hands,

but I guess y'all got
a bigger job to do,

what with saving
the world and all.

Ha! Thanks, daddy.

Aw, don't thank me.

You do me proud.

How come we don't have a
relationship like that?

I'm not your mommy.

Now pick up your toys, Jackie,

and let's go home.

It was nice to meet
you, daddy Bailey.

Come visit us sometime

so we can work you like a dog.

Uhh! Hey, I'm just saying!

Pleasure meeting you both.

Hey, where's the little fella?

Old Bessie,

my new friend whose
life I saved.

I think I will miss
you most of all.

Ha! Who is the master now!

Aah!

Uhh!

My work here is done.

Ahh!

Daddy: Now that's a cowboy.

Clay: Whoo! You got
that right, daddy.