01x13 - In the Flesh

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TV animation

Xiaolin Showdown!

Xiaolin Showdown.

Previously on Xiaolin Showdown:

Behold!

Malamala jong!

How will we fight
this malamala jong?

You and the other chosen ones

will take our Shen Gong Wu

and flee the temple
grounds immediately.

I'm not afraid of this
malamala ding jong thing.

Do as you are told!

On to the Shen Gong Wu.

Where are they?

I'm not telling you diddly.

Hey, what are you doing?

They're on mount han.

I told you to protect
the Shen Gong Wu.

But...

Aah!

Now!

Master Fung:
Congratulations, young ones.

You have proven yourselves ready

for the next level.

I am sorry, Raimundo,

you are not yet
ready to move on.

I'm sick of this place.

I never should have left Brazil.

Nice work, Jack.

Excellent craftsmanship.

Beat it, Wuya.

Now, Jack, don't be like that.

Can't we let bygones be bygones?

Your malamala junk goes bust,

and now you expect
me to take you back!

Forget it. Not interested.

But you are interested, Jack,

if you want to rule the world.

You see, you need me to
locate the Shen Gong Wu.

I need you?

Actually, not so much.

Behold!

The Jack Spicer,
evil boy genius,

Shen Gong Wu detectobot.

Pan pin. The what?

Get this--

not only can it tell when a
Shen Gong Wu is activated,

but it can also lead me to it.

Fact it, you old witch,

you're obsolete.

Well, got that world
conquering to do.

Later!

And don't be here
when I get back.

Obsolete, am I?

We'll see about that.

Master Fung: Now, my
Xiaolin apprentices,

with your new ranking comes
the learning of new skills.

Kimiko, if you please.

Say the name of
this Shen Gong Wu

and then your dragon element,

and you shall unlock
a unique power.

Yes, Master Fung.

Star Hanabi, Fire!

Whoa!

Ohh!

Big deal.

Since I'm not one of the
special Xiaolin apprentices,

can I go play goo zombies 3?

No, Raimundo. But--

the zombies will
wait in their goo.

Omi, Clay, now you try.

Oh, man.

Orb of tonami, Water!

Third arm sash. Earth

Omi: Ice.

This sash is as strong as stone.

Wow. Stringing together
a couple of words.

I can see why that's reserved
for apprentice level.

Raimundo, my friend,

I understand your
disappointment,

but this clouded darkness

has a sliver of lining,

because I shall train
you night and day.

Until I'm as good as you?

Ha ha ha! No.

You'll never be that good,

but with my guidance,

you may become adequate.

Wow, Omi, you should be
a motivational speaker.

Really?

Oh, yeah. You've motivated
me right out of here.

Raimundo, no!

Golden Tiger Claws!

All that training,

all those showdowns,

and for what? To get dissed?

Never should have left you,
my beautiful Rio de Janeiro.

A lovely city.

Isn't it?

Wuya! Stay out of my head,
you ugly ghost hag!

Calm yourself, Raimundo.

I am alone, and you
know I cannot harm you.

So, what are you doing here?

A funny thing happened
when I entered your mind--

not only did i
discover the location

of the hidden Shen Gong Wu,

but I learned a
few other things.

Hey, lots of guys sleep with
Teddy bears, all right?

Oh, not that.

I learned you're not at all
happy being a Xiaolin warrior.

Uh...

Yes. I sensed your
dissatisfaction

with the endless training,

the bare bones lifestyle,

and the lack of appreciation.

You got a point here?

I offer you a faster,
more rewarding way.

One that appreciates your
unique talents and abilities.

Butler: Your pizza
and soda, sir.

Sweet!

Ahh!

I can give you anything
your heart desires.

Join me, Raimundo, and
the world is yours!

No.

No, I couldn't--i--

I'm sensing a Shen Gong Wu!

We could begin our
partnership right now.

What do you say, Raimundo?

I...

I got to go.

Golden Tiger Claws!

Master Fung: Ah, here it is.

The reversing...

What is it? What's
the Shen Gong Wu?

Where have you been, young man?

I've been worried sick, and
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait a second. How'd you know

there was an active
Shen Gong Wu?

Uh...Well, you know, tiger
instincts and all that.

So, what is it?

The Reversing Mirror.

It reverses the effects
of any Shen Gong Wu.

For example, the two ton tunic

would become as
light as a feather.

Whoa!

Ooh, that is as
Kimiko might say,

"heavy...Or not!"

Jokes aren't going to get
Shen Gong Wu, people.

Saddle up.

Jack: What's the matter, Wuya?

Need a hand? Ha ha ha.

It's too bad yours
are all ghosty.

The Reversing Mirror's mine!

I found it first!

Hey, you know what they say,

finders keepers, losers weepers.

Omi: The only one who
may be a weeping loser

is you, Jack Spicer!
And you, Wuya!

You shall weep over
your loss as well!

Wow. That is the
lamest taunt ever.

Stick to the jumping
and kicking, Omi.

As you wish.

Aah-chaa!

Aah!

Huh! Aah!

Huh! Aah!

Too slow.

Got it!

Jackbots, attack!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Aah!

Spicer, I challenge you
to a Xiaolin Showdown.

What's the matter, Wuya?

Got no one to root for?

Beat it, pest.

Flashlight tag is the game.

My tiger claws against
your Lotus Twister.

First one caught in
the light beam loses.

Whatever. Let's go.

All: Xiaolin Showdown!

Both: Gong Yi Tampai!

Lotus Twister!

Golden Tiger Claws!

Uh-oh.

Aah!

If I get myself tied up
in a knot over this,

I'm going to sue.

Aah!

Whoa! Should've picked
a different showdown.

Huh?

Raimundo, head toward the light!

Ha ha ha ha!

Uh-oh.

Sorry, pal.

You're not going anywhere.

Aah!

Whaa-aa-oh!

Ooh! Aah!

Aah!

Swell.

Uhh!

Kimiko: All right, Raimundo!

Well done, pardner.

That's what I'm talking about!

Raimundo, your performance
in the showdown

was most impressive,

and you are not even a
Xiaolin apprentice.

You're right, Omi. I'm not.

So, where do you want them?

Huh? What?

Pardon me?

Hey! Oh, boy.

Ha ha ha ha! Well
done, Raimundo.

Rai, what are you doing?

I'm done with this
whole Xiaolin thing.

From now on, you can find
me on the Heylin side.

Golden Tiger Claws!

So long, Xiaolin warriors.

Bet you guys didn't
see that coming.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Wuya: Yes! Yes!

This is the perfect spot

from which to plan our
conquest of the world!

Um...I thought we were going
to do this in style--

video games, cold soda,
hot pizza, lap of luxury.

Any of that ringing a bell?

Patience, dear Raimundo.

All that and more
will be yours soon.

The Reversing Mirror is
the key to our victory.

But to use it to its
fullest effect,

I need you to return
to the Xiaolin temple

one last time.

No way. Forget it.

I'm done with the
Xiaolin mook lifestyle.

Find yourself another chump.

Did I mention your own
professional soccer team?

Soccer team?

Yes. Ever wondered
what it would be like

to drink out of the world cup?

Ok. So, what do I do?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Uhh!

Uhh...Huh!

Uhh! Uhh...Uhh!

Let me guess.

There's some imperceptible
fault in your form

that only you could
possibly notice.

Oh, no, Kimiko.

My form is without
flaws, naturally.

Naturally.

But still I am
dumped in the downs.

Even training cannot
lift my gloomy spirits.

I know how you feel, Omi.

Yeah. Sitting on my spurs
wouldn't hurt as much as this.

I can't believe Rai has gone bad

just because he
didn't get promoted

to Xiaolin apprentice.

Maybe that's because
Raimundo hasn't gone bad.

You care to connect
those dots for me?

Maybe Raimundo is enacting

some secret and elaborate plan

designed to...Uhh...

Lure evil into a false
sense of confidence?

Yes! That is clearly
what Raimundo is doing!

Omi, that makes no sense...

At all.

Not even a little.

The Shen Gong Wu vault?

Someone's opening it.

Raimundo, you have returned!

See? Secret, elaborate plan.

What are you doing

with the Serpent's Tail,
my clever friend?

Uh...Stealing it?

Or so it would appear.

Secret, elaborate plan.

Omi, there's no plan.

He's stealing our Shen Gong Wu.

Not on my watch. Aah!

Urgh!

Aah-yah!

So that's the way it's
going to be, huh?

You tell us, Raimundo.

You can always drop the
Shen Gong Wu and leave.

Nah. I'm up for a
Xiaolin slap down.

Aah!

Wind!

I am severely confused.

This plan seems more
elaborate than necessary.

Aah!

Aah!

Raimundo?

Aah!

Wind!

Kimiko: Omi, stop him!

Raimundo, I am starting to think

you are not enacting some sort
of secret, elaborate plan.

Nothing escapes you, Omi.

Not even you.

Wrong. Serpent's Tail!

Aah!

Aah!

Did he escape?

Raimundo
really has betrayed us.

Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu?

This is most troubling.

If I've told you once, I've
told you a thousand times,

put a padlock on this thing!

There's a bright side.

He only rustled up one--
the Serpent's Tail.

Why would Raimundo take
just one Shen Gong Wu?

Because that one shen gong
wu is all Wuya needs.

Is the Serpent's Tail
really all that?

You got that ominous
thing going on.

Care to spill the beans?

On its own the serpent's
tail is no great threat,

it makes a solid person ghostly.

But combined with the
Reversing Mirror--

it would turn a
ghostly person solid.

Both: Wuya!

Precisely.

Ha! Special delivery.

The Serpent's Tail.

Excellent!

I'll soon be flesh again.

Anything, Dojo?

Zip, nada, bupkus.

Please hurry.

If Wuya is restored
to her fleshy form,

life as we know it
may cease to exist.

I get it! It's important!

I'm doing my best.

The additional pressure,
i do not need.

Sorry.

Oh, forget it.

It's just freshly activated
Shen Gong Wu are easy to track.

But an old one? I
don't even know--

wait. Hold on.

I got something.

Is that
the Serpent's Tail?

Bingo!

You ready?

I've waited 1,500 years
for this moment!

So that's a yes?

Yes, yes! A thousand times yes!

Ok, ok. Just jerking your chain.

Clay: That's funny.

A jerk jerking a chain.

A jerk jerking a chain.

Ha! Most amusing, Clay.

Ha ha ha ha!

You know what I don't miss?

Omi constantly missing--

hi-ya!

Hey!

Missing what?

Give it!

This? Sorry.

Ha ha ha ha!

Hah! Hah!

Try again.

Aah!

Whoops!

Ha!

Cut it out!

Too late!

They're making a
buffoon out of you.

Not anymore.

Golden Tiger Claws!

Where's Raimundo?

Wherever he wants to be.

Ohh!

Airball!

Uhh! Ahh!

Haah!

Aah!

Uhh!

Go, boy! Use it!

Hurry!

Serpent's Tail!

Stop! I can't--

do anything to stop you.

Reversing Mirror!

This is bad. Very, very bad.

If I had hair, it would
be standing on end.

If I had boots, I'd
be quaking in them.

Wanna borrow mine?

No thanks. No feet.

Wuya?

In the flesh.