01x06 - One of Ours

[bunniefuu]

[Faint chatter]

[Scooter passes]

Good morning, pip

- Morning, paca.

- Merry Christmas.

- You, too.

- Oh, it's so cold out here.

I've got an iced hoo-ha.

So tell me, did you

set aside my lottery tickets?

- Yes.

- Did you get my lucky number?

- Yes.

- Remember, it's 69.

- Here it is.

- The kinky one, you know?

[Bell tolls]

Paca: Luck?

Who believes in luck?

Some may not believe in it,

because they have always succeeded

Because they think it is

all due to their hard work.

Well, for those in despair,

luck doesn't exist, either.

- Is that veneno?

- She's so ugly and fat.

- So sad.

- f*ck!

Paca: How can you

believe in something

you've never experienced?

h* h* h*! Merry Christmas!

h* h* h*

Therefore luck doesn't

really exist for anyone.

Valeria: How do I look?

Miguel: Great.

[Sighing]

Miguel, how could you know?

Look at me.

I have looked at you.

You look beautiful every day.

You look amazing.

Honey, it's the first time

I'm getting a serious job offer.

So what can I do?

- [Engine revs]

- No, I know

this f*cking computer.

Every time I go next

- around this corner

- What are you doing?

- Oh, stupid

- I thought you said

- you were good.

- I know. I know.

I'm going to catch up to him.

Relax.

- [Chatter continues]

- Karen, who are these people?

How dare you?

What the hell are you doing?

f*ck off, all of you.

Get out of my house. Get out!

Karen: What are you doing?

Have you no shame at all?

I'm so done with you.

Come on, Valeria.

Baby.

Here. Take a peek.

You look amazing.

You are absolutely beautiful,

and you'll do great.

You know why?

Why?

Because that's the way you do everything.

[Chuckles]

- Everything?

- [Kisses]

Absolutely everything.

- Cristina: Kiss me.

- Who do you think you are?

- Kiss me.

- Talking to me like that

- Kiss me.

- In front of my friends?

- Kiss me. Kiss me.

- Who do you think you are?

What the f*ck are you doing?

[Pills rattle]

[Both laughing]

Paca: But there's always

that enlightening moment

when life reminds you that deep down,

all of us, beautiful or ugly,

rich or poor,

are not that different from each other.

[Cellphone buzzing]

Are you Valeria Vegas?

Uh, yes.

- Hello. I'm Lola.

- Oh, hello.

I'm, uh, Valeria.

I'm sorry. You just said that.

Yes. Come with me.

Sure.

Follow me.

Did you have a hard time getting here?

Uh, just a little.

To be honest, we're striving to find

a young profile with

some innovative writing style,

and I gotta tell you they

loved the piece you sent in,

because it seems to be

a new insight on pop culture.

- Really? Thank you.

- Well, it's true.

- You have to rewrite this copy.

- Go on in.

[Cellphone buzzing]

Man: Yes. Look, it's all right.

Just try in green.

Uh, would you excuse me for a sec?

Sure. Absolutely.

[Buzzing continues]

Hello.

Valeria, darling.

Long time, no speak.

What's up, paca?

How can I put this? Uh

Cristina has been hospitalized, darling.

And, ugh,

she's in serious condition.

I really hope you can make it.

We're in Madrid at La Paz hospital.

[Sighs] I don't know if she'll make it.

[Narrating] It's like we're

all tied up with the same rope.

It is possible to stray apart

Everything good?

Come on. Let's go in.

But never for too long.

Paca: How is she?

[Monitor beeping]

Did the nurse come to change her drip?

- I don't know.

- Don't you pay attention?

Let's cover her up. It's cold.

[Baby crying]

Hi, Miguel.

Call me as soon as you get this.

I had to go to Madrid.

Call me, and I'll explain everything.

[Hospital chatter]

[Telephone ringing]

- Hello.

- Hello.

The room number for Cristina

Ortiz rodríguez, please?

La veneno?

Venom, that's what she tried last night.

Right?

Room 24-19.

["Joy to the world" playing]

Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Not funny, dude.

It's just a joke.

[Monitor beeping]

[Knocks] Hello.

[Gasps] Oh, my god.

Here's Valeria.

Good god, you're gorgeous, girl.

I didn't think you'd

make it here after so long.

- Hi, paca.

- It's so good to have you here.

My god, baby, you're beautiful.

[Gasps] Oh, just so pretty,

as beautiful as nuria fergó,

you know, the singer?

Wait till Cristina sees you this pretty.

- Cristina: Valeria.

- [Gasps]

- Valeria.

- Oh, good.

- She woke up.

- Valeria.

Go see her.

I'll call the doctor.

Valeria.

Hi, Valeria.

[Sighs] Cristina.

What beautiful hair, girl.

Even longer than mine.

I love it.

You women from the Canary Islands

love long hair.

[Laughs] To show off at the beach.

Just b*tches on the beach, you girls.

[Laughs]

Look, he's Karen.

We're gonna get married.

- Hi.

- And that's his mother.

Oh, we love Cristina very, very much.

[Sighs] Yeah, like a mantis

loves their mates.

- [Knock on door]

- Good afternoon.

Look, the doctor came, babe.

- Hi, Cristina.

- Hi, doctor.

How's it going?

I'm in a lot of pain, doctor.

We're gonna raise

the dose of painkillers.

- Thank you.

- Valeria, haven't you noticed

what our diva did?

Look what she did.

Take a very good look at that face.

Those dental implants

are made for a horse.

[Laughs] Now she looks

like a blonde donkey.

- Says the hippopotamus.

- You're so funny.

Even half-dead, she's so quick-witted.

Aw, god, I love her.

["We wish you a merry Christmas" playing]

I'm going for a smoke.

Pay for my beer.

Hey!

No, you don't. I won't pay.

Come on. Do it.

[Coins clink]

He's unbearable today.

- Who's he?

- That is Karen,

Cristina's new Romanian

boyfriend, that crazy cow.

Just one after another.

Cristina's sleeping with the enemy?

He's not a bad guy.

He's good to her,

but you know that

the worst enemy for Cristina

is actually Cristina. Come on.

You know that better than anyone.

Let's move here.

["Silent night" playing]

What happened to her?

What happened, girl? [Sighs]

She's mentally ill.

Not a single call from

the TV channels or anything,

so she slits her wrists

during one of her breakdowns.

Does that make any sense?

She should be slicing her ba*ls,

not slicing her wrists.

- But, paca

- Imagine how upset I am.

But why?

Because everybody let her down.

She's always pestering that sálvame show

for an invitation, an interview,

but she has nothing new to say.

Everybody says she's always

hanging out in Puerta del sol,

taking pictures with the people.

She's like a minnie mouse in Orlando.

Strike the pose

right next to the bear statue.

And her family?

What family?

I'm the only one here taking care of her.

The last girl standing is always me.

No one cares for Cristina, but this idiot

sitting here, eating this crap every day.

Paca, did she tell you about Madrid?

She's the one who cut me out of her life.

She never said anything about Madrid,

but there's no need to, my dear.

I totally know her more than anyone.

I've been a victim

of her tantrums countless times,

and you've seen it.

But she's my friend.

Paca

I ran straight over here

to help when you called,

but, you know,

I have a life of my own now.

I got a boyfriend and things going on.

- Of course.

- Not "of course," paca.

If I'm sitting here with you,

it's 'cause I really care.

Hold on.

[Siren passing]

Sit down, girl.

Sit down.

Listen to me, please.

Remember that time you came

to my house for the first time,

so shy and introverted?

Remember?

You said, "Cristina,

I'm gonna write you a book.

You sparkle.

You're divine and wonderful."

You must come back.

You know that book

was not my favorite plan,

all that fantasy and

made-up extravagance of hers,

but all of a sudden there,

for a brief moment,

I pictured the veneno from '96.

I found her eyes sparkling,

because you brought her back.

- But it's not in my hands.

- Of course it's in your hands.

You gotta release that book,

no matter what.

I beg you, that book

has to see the light, girl.

She still hasn't told you

the whole story.

Trust me.

I've been through this.

Our Christina is always unstoppable.

[Dance music playing]

Jeez, Cristina, how come you're so late?

I was freaking out, girl!

Come on! Hurry!

I was doing my makeup, my love.

- Careful there.

- It's not my fault, eh?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

And this puppy, what the hell?

My daughter. I just adopted her.

Adopted? Great. Well, there's

some big fish here tonight,

so smile a lot, and talk about Argentina.

Cristina, look, look.

And here comes the owner.

Veneno!

Welcome to dreamed love.

Mwah. "No lie!"

[Laughs]

The biggest sex shop

in Europe! Look!

Full of kink,

full of 30 individual rooms,

top-notch equipment, and look.

Here's the mayor, Tita fajardo.

My dear.

José, you always confuse me.

I'm the deputy mayor

and carnival advisor.

How about we take

a picture for posterity?

- You are so gorgeous.

- Come, come, come, come.

And welcome home, darling girl.

But I'm from adra.

Okay, my friends,

just check out all our catalog

we've got dildos, vibrators

everywhere, kink all around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll take

more pictures later, okay?

Cristina: Hey, stop that,

you sluts. Piss off now.

And you, get over there.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Oh, yeah!

Fonchi, fonchi!

I want that a*s later

in my office,

ready, set and you, too, baby.

[Chuckles] Cicciolina!

Cicciolina! Cicciolina!

We've got we've got the latest designs,

- very modern

- [Translating to Italian]

We've got the peep's gazette.

We've got the bisexual,

sunrise l*sbian options,

hetero disorders,

and even right-wing trans here.

Quanti film miei ci sono?

How many of her films you have?

- Thousands.

- Migliaia.

La veneno.

Non sapevo fosse con lei.

I did not know she would be here.

Hey, beautiful!

Are you afraid of competition?

Cristina, welcome to las palmas.

Any upcoming TV projects?

- We'll talk later. Move it.

- Later. Don't worry.

Do you think you're the new

Marilyn Monroe, c**t-ollina?

Cicciolina. Piacere.

[Chuckles] Over here, you're c**t-ollina.

- Hmm.

- Let me tell you something.

Whoever you are in Italy,

know that here in Spain, I'm the queen.

Cheers, cicciolina.

Scusami. Ma non ti capisco.

Oh, you don't understand me?

Well, let me explain myself.

And now?

Bellissima.

- Oh, you are so cute, my love.

- A dopo.

Yeah, "dopo, dopo."

[Dance music playing]

Paca: After being on TV,

Cristina toured in Spain as a celebrity,

but that night, she learned

something that she did not like.

Why were you talking to that bimbo, huh?

- You just can't help yourself.

- Stop drinking.

No, you stop it.

Oh, Cristina, this is

a total success, total wonder.

Everyone was in absolute euphoria.

Of course, though.

And who did people

take photos with, me or that c**t-ollina?

- With you, honey.

- Yes, with you of course.

That's why you cost me two million.

What are you talking about?

I was only paid one.

She did not collect two million.

What do you mean?

No, no, honey. I paid two.

Two million upon delivery.

I mean, that's what

I paid to your manager.

Ask him yourself.

Paca: You have no idea

how heated it got.

It turned so bad

that nobody ever called her

to a single event.

[Rock music playing]

[Faint yelling]

[Screams]

From now on,

I will manage your contracts.

No more crooks conning you.

Sono il tuo manager.

Is that so?

So now you're my manager?

[Laughs]

And how does my hair look,

Mr. Manager?

Like a witch's mane.

[Laughs]

Well, this witch might devour you raw.

[Gasps] Come on.

[Lounge music playing]

[Dog whimpers]

[Gasping]

Ah, look at that sex addict.

- Come in, my dear.

- [Gasping continues]

Jeez, like two teenagers.

Look at this hooker's moves.

Hey, you hot-to-trot.

Tell this girl about the times

when you tried to f*ck me

when I was young,

while she went off to Bilbao for shows.

Tell her now!

He was a total a*s-hat.

He f*cked everyone.

He'd go to the red-light district

and f*ck hookers and rent boys,

and he'd even do a goat if he had to.

For sure.

Were you in love with the guy?

How could I be in love with such a thing?

He was ugly as f*ck.

What happened was

[slaps]

Flip me over.

I wanna talk to my friends.

What happened

Was that he had [gasps]

Jeez. He slammed her door.

A monumental and divine c*ck.

You weren't in love with this crook?

Ah, that's bullshit.

Don't listen to her.

She's lying.

They were always together

like two lovebirds,

traveling and shopping,

wasting all her cash

at fancy restaurants,

on his expensive suits

and designer shoes,

until one day TV shows

stopped calling her.

He was her manager

and not a very good one,

basically they ran out of green

and began a scamming operation.

Was he the one pushing you to scam?

Of course he was. Come on.

Just look at that grifter's face.

What about yours, though?

You sure are Mother Teresa

with your dignity in the freezer.

Look, paca, go back to the future.

Let me f*ck in peace, okay?

Don't worry, honey. I will.

Let this scumbag

widen her butt-hole some more.

Let's go, sweetie.

I've got more to tell you.

We've gotta get going now.

Their scamming career

began right here in the Canary Islands.

Immediately after they

left the sex store,

they committed their first fraud

at the local airport.

Watch this.

You're gonna freak out.

Check it out. The crazy b*tch.

[Announcer] Veneno and Angelo's

scamming adventures.

Cristina: Listen,

I'm pissed as f*ck.

My luggage has gone missing.

Don't you worry. The airline

offers a monetary compensation.

How 'bout the bag

that I had? Huh?

- What was in it?

- My clothing.

What else would it be, bimbo?

I'm not a drug mule.

It was very expensive clothing.

There were two Armani jackets,

some Prada shoes, three rolex.

Yeah, along with two Chanel bags,

and all my jewelry was in it.

And I had some beautiful cartier pieces.

And two versace.

What's your problem, huh?

[Stammers]

Are you doubting my word?

I'm la veneno.

What do you think I packed

for my trip, a bunch of rags?

Ma'am, airline companies

will pay a standard rate

per kilo of missing luggage,

whether the content

in the bag is gold or rags.

To get compensation

for the items' real value,

you need to get private insurance.

How much do they insure?

Whatever you sign up for.

There is no limit.

["El rap de la veneno" playing]

[Ding]

- La veneno ♪

- Paca: From that point on,

they started flying with insured luggage,

using two to three

different airlines at a time,

saying their luggage included

all kinds of luxury items,

and of course the suitcase

would magically vanish.

Cristina: My luggage

has disappeared again.

Now write this down,

'cause I was traveling heavy this time.

El grito de guerra

de la veneno ♪

digo ¡ah! ♪

This airline is the worst,

and you, I'm absolutely fed up with you.

I want my money right now.

Dame veneno digo ¡ah! ♪

Ay, que me quedo muerta

en la bañera ♪

enfocá',

con UN foco colora'o, ♪

tra, tra ♪

que tengo UN hachazo ♪

que no UN tiburón ♪

que tengo UN hachazo ♪

que no UN tiburón ♪

El grito de guerra

de la veneno ♪

Paca: But whenever

she got distracted,

that dickhead Angelo

would steal money from her

and go straight to the casino,

playing roulette,

betting on tables, on slot machines,

on anything shiny,

and f*cking every single woman

who came across his path.

[Both moaning]

[Monitor beeping]

[Siren passing]

- [Telephone rings]

- [Gasps]

What?

What happened?

Cristina, i-is she okay?

- Yeah.

- Oh, what a day.

Oh, god, my back is k*lling me.

It's like I've been hit hard

with a baseball bat.

I'm exhausted.

What time is it, honey?

Paca, I have to go.

What do you mean you have to go?

- Sorry.

- Where are you running to?

Let me check this. One sec.

Oh, she's low on painkillers.

Want me to call the nurse?

No, no, no, no. Don't you worry.

So you're leaving me, huh?

You aren't staying here with me?

- I can't, paca.

- Are you leaving me here alone?

On a day like today?

Paca, come on.

Miguel is worried

I've got a life

and a family lunch tomorrow.

Try to understand, please?

[Sighs] I know.

No worries, baby. I understand.

It's great that you made it here, honey.

Don't forget to think about the book.

Paca, please stop.

[Children's chorus singing "dime niño"]

Oh, it smells so good.

Come on. Next year, I'm hosting.

This is chaos, eh?

Everything's okay.

Sure. [Scoffs]

- It's all burnt.

- Well, a bit, but that's fine.

I like it a little singed, you know?

What's your secret?

I heard lamb only needs water.

No idea, girl. I got

the recipe from the Internet.

You know I don't eat meat.

- Well, it smells great.

- Ah!

Hey, stop it.

Please don't do that now.

It's not lunchtime yet.

Please get out of here.

[Sighs] I can't deal with them anymore.

- Hey, isn't your family coming?

- No.

They're staying with my grandparents.

Ah, my god, I love

the canarian weather, right?

Over the summer, I was in mallorca.

Really? That's nice.

- What a trip.

- Wow, it looks amazing.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Seems well done, yeah.

Aw, yeah, make the very most

of those kisses now.

He's all over you, but one day,

he won't even notice you.

What's up? You jealous?

- Hmm?

- Just a little.

- [Laughs]

- Esteban, another one?

It's my second. Calm down.

Who's gonna be driving then?

'Cause I can't.

Mariola, relax.

You can just sleep over.

No. Keep the kids

out of this kitchen.

- Well, it's ready. Let's go.

- Okay.

Mm, it's so good.

[Boy laughs]

Mmm.

That smells amazing, Valeria.

Really? Thanks so much.

It looks nice, too.

Boys, lunch is ready.

But I wanna open the gifts now.

Shh. Don't be rude.

After lunch, okay?

You're getting

coal in a box. Hmm?

Look at him.

My son loves to play with the kids.

- He's like a big kid.

- [Laughs]

Dear, shame you can't have any kids.

[Boys laugh]

Mom, please stop now.

I'm sorry.

I'm not saying that

Oh, please, don't worry.

I didn't mean to offend you.

- Please don't worry. I'm fine.

- No, no, I swear.

I didn't say it

because of your condition.

It's just a typical mother's comment.

- Well

- I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean to say

- Mom, please leave it as it is.

- Don't. Don't.

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- Nothing, dear.

No, no, nothing, sweetie.

It's all good.

- Nothing at all.

- See? That's it.

Okay, let's eat.

I know, mom. Easy.

Mariola: Mom, you have

to think before you talk.

It's fine, really.

Well, I'm getting another beer.

Cristina: As you can see,

I have come

to find a bride's dress,

'cause veneno's getting married.

Veneno's getting married ♪

With a "shark." [Chuckles]

Blood red, passion, crimson hooker.

Ana obregón. [Laughs]

I'm getting married!

- [Video stops]

- What are you doing?

[Sighs] Nothing.

What were you watching?

[Sighs] Nothing.

You were watching something.

[Sighs] I can't sleep, Miguel.

You okay?

Yes.

Valeria.

I said I'm okay.

Babe, tell me what happened.

Why are you so moody?

You you know you can tell me.

[Sighs]

Hmm?

Hmm?

What?

Cristina was really bad

Awful.

I mean, I don't know.

Seeing her like that at the hospital

made me think that actually

girls like us

"Like us"?

Us who?

Us, Miguel. You know who.

Well, it's just that

it's been a long time

since I heard you mention the "us" word.

Well, that's the problem.

There's an "us," and I kinda forgot it.

Oh.

And now one of us needs me a lot.

No tenía ganas de saltar

una vez más ♪

me quedé de lado

sin saber reaccionar ♪

son muchos años

buscando aquí la felicidad ♪

o El despertar ♪

es que ningún lugar

es El erróneo ♪

que más da, todo andará ♪

Cristina.

Hey. What's up with you?

What's with you, my love?

You thought that I had died?

I was taking a sh*t, Valeria, no.

[Laughs] I was chopping a super-huge log.

Paca: Can we come in?

- What's going on here?

- Look who's here, paca.

What's all this hustle and bustle?

She thought that I had kicked the bucket.

I'm not ready to bite the dust.

To be honest, she still have

some more f*cking around to do.

- Mónica, honey

- Yes?

Tell these girls what you used to do.

A tuck-shop selling sweets.

- [Both laugh]

- What?

Like her and her and me, too, girl.

And we keep our sweets in the back!

[Laughs] And yours is dirty,

you filthy cow.

Karen?

Nos vemos ahora

a las seis en El café ♪

What's all this?

Me voy ♪

ahora hablaremos

de que todo ♪

estará bien

tomando UN té ♪

Karen?

Karen?

Paca, he's gone.

Of course he is.

They packed all their sh*t,

and they ran away.

On top of that, they didn't say goodbye.

But we were gonna get married, paca.

Don't you worry about that, honey,

you'll surely catch the next one.

You're still very desirable

and beautiful.

Sigo El camino

y con mi ego ya veré ♪

como lo haré ♪

Don't you worry, Cristina.

We got a lot of work ahead of us.

Come on, girls.

Now there's no time to waste.

Moving on. Cheer up.

Bring the joy. It's Christmas.

Ven a bailar ♪

ven con tu espíritu ♪

no existe El mar ♪

solo hay espíritu ♪

- [Song ends]

- [Recorder grinding]

[Sighs]

Are you prepared?

Do it.

Okay, last we spoke

was about the end of television.

You finished El pelícano,

then did the porno.

You wanted to do it?

I was delighted.

The one who hated it was my mother.

It was the ultimate kick in her c**t.

But I didn't really give a f*ck.

No lie.

Let me tell you something.

If you want this book to happen,

you have to do it the right way,

and we must always tell the truth.

Shut it. I never lie, paca!

Listen, you should know

that the porno wasn't her idea.

In fact, I blame Angelo,

that son of a b*tch,

he was forcing you to do that film.

You told me you didn't want to do it.

On top of that, girl,

that movie was a complete joke.

Instead of bringing in

good actors with nice, big c*ck

like Rocco siffredi or that

gorgeous hottie, nacho vidal,

he got her the worst production ever.

And tell her about the clause

he made you sign

in the contract. Tell her now!

Quiet! That porno

paid me a small fortune!

That's bullshit, and you know it.

And it wasn't one I did.

- It was two movies, sl*t!

- Yeah, right.

- Shut up.

- Jekyll and Hyde.

Paca! Veneno! Come on.

Incredible.

Cristina, this isn't some essay.

It's a book, you know?

It'll be worth the effort.

You really wanna know?

You really wanna know

what happened with Angelo?

Yes. I'm dying. Please tell her.

Write this down.

Let the entire country know.

Quit the smoking! Idiot!

You just got out of the hospital.

Come on. Have a sip of this.

Bring it, sister.

There you go, girl.

Angelo, the Italian, owed tons of green.

Many wanted to see him dead,

wanted to slit his throat.

Those guys are scum, right, sweetie?

And hold on to your panties,

'cause sh*t's coming.

officially confirmed

that in four years,

we'll be counting in Euros.

As you know, the euro will debut

as the official currency

in numerous countries

that will be known as schengen area.

The area will be comprised

of 26 European countries

Angelo, what happened to you?

If I don't pay, I'm a dead man.

Don't they know we're

absolutely broke right now?

Huh?

What the hell are they thinking?

Why don't we move to Italy, huh?

Let's move to Torino.

We can live at your mother's.

- No, Cristina.

- No one knows who we are there.

Angelo, we might have

a fresh start together.

No, Cristina.

- Let me see.

- Let's pay them.

We got to sh**t that movie.

I'm begging you, do it for me.

I beg you, Cristina.

We have to do it.

Come on.

[Pop music playing]

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

[Man laughs]

Well

Cristina, welcome.

I'm paco cera,

ceo for lib magazine.

- How do you do?

- Ciao.

Piacere.

This is antoni frames,

the movie's director,

a great professional.

Actually he shot poli,

the lama, and the lickin' mama

with poli díaz

"the Colt from vallecas."

- I haven't seen it, no.

- Mm.

But he is a good friend of mine, though.

It's a comedy.

- Oh, really?

- The plot's good.

Poli díaz and

his spiritual guide, the lama,

travel to Sevilla, where they

get into different situations.

Some are very hot,

and others are hilarious.

I mean, the movie is fantastic,

impeccable cinema. Auteur!

Yeah, right, "auteur."

I'll watch it. I promise.

Okay, let's get straight

to it, Cristina, if I may.

We we will need your presence

basically three days for both movies.

- Wait. Two movies?

- Yes.

Well, the first one

is called veneno's shark.

[Chuckles] And the second one

is venom's vendetta.

- "The shark," huh?

- Yes.

We want to give the public the one thing

they haven't seen from you.

My p*nis?

- The shark, love.

- But, I mean,

we could go for something more subtle,

maybe something like veneno's secret.

[Sighs]

Okay, what kind of money are we talking?

Well, that's been discussed

with, uh, Carlo?

- Angelo.

- With the Italian.

Actually we've got

a contract prepared today

for your best convenience.

Uh, you only have to sign right here,

as we've already given him

the 30% down payment in advance.

Angelo: Don't worry. Sign it.

We can talk through it later.

Relax.

Topacio: Men,

lots of chitchat and promises,

but in the end,

they never keep their word.

Hey, you assholes!

Now watch what I'm

about to do to your wives.

What are you boys into, eh, watching,

f*cking, or acting?

Seems to me that you like to watch, huh?

Get up. You two, now!

'Cause I'm gonna put my g*n

right up your c**t.

Come on. Over there.

Both of you on the floor,

and give us a l*sbian show like no other.

Maybe we could get a blanket, right?

Get down on the floor right now.

- Shut up. They're working now.

- Go on. Pull your shorts down.

Great! We've got it! Cut.

- Was it good?

- That was great, Cristina.

- Hey, hey, hey, Cristina.

- Was that okay?

- Yes, yes, I liked it.

- I added my own touch to it.

- I loved it! Perfect.

- Oh, I was so nervous.

Okay, we got it.

Let's move to the next one.

Let's go to the r*pe scene, all right?

I need you to move and

clear all this space, please.

Alvaro, clear the shot.

Okay, now you three.

One, two where's the third one?

Okay, great, you three.

You come back with a rope,

you see the girls

and tie them up and r*pe them, okay?

Amin, I need a rope here.

Come on.

Cool, guys.

Remember our contract.

The what? Ah.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, let's try something, Cristina.

- Uh, you pull your pants down.

- What?

Let's try with you

sucking each one of them,

just for a little while, okay?

But maybe I can help her for a while?

No, no, Anton,

let's get this thing organized.

- Yes, exactly.

- Organized.

Weren't they supposed

to f*ck me? I don't understand.

The thing is Angelo made sure

to establish in the contract

he would be the only one to f*ck you.

You know?

Those are the terms signed.

And so

You really signed that?

That's the contract.

Your plan is to keep f*cking me over

- for the rest of my life?

- Cristina.

- Isn't that right?

- Calm down.

I'm done, Angelo.

Those are the terms of the contract!

- End of story.

- Yes, yes, 'cause

- Let's go.

- We're wasting time here.

Places, everybody. Come on.

Come on. Let's move.

- Come on!

- Hey, come on, my love.

Let's start, Cristina.

Action!

It wasn't until that moment

that I realized that I

had become Angelo's property.

I was no longer the decision maker.

But by then, it was too late.

I was completely powerless,

and the worst was still to come.

Great, great, Cristina.

Now take your clothes off.

That's right. Very good, hon.

Very, very, very good.

Zoom in on the c*ck, please.

Not his. On hers, idiot.

- Come on!

- Aw, yeah.

Paca: Aw, for heaven's sake

sweetheart. What a shame.

That was just so bad.

Everything was absolutely tasteless,

and the second one is even worse, huh?

Ay-yi-yi-yi.

- sh*t.

- Oh, right there.

Cristina

I don't get it.

Why'd you stay with Angelo?

I mean, why didn't you just leave?

I really tried, but I couldn't leave him.

- [Door slams]

- Nobody can tell me what to do.

Rotto il cazzo!

What you gonna do without me, huh?!

I'm Cristina la veneno,

loved by all of Spain!

The country loves me!

Nobody loves you, not your family,

not a single TV show.

Just a hooker who does cheap porn.

m*therf*cker!

[Grunts]

- [Objects shatter]

- [Groaning]

- [Scuffling]

- Puttana di merda.

[Weeping] Please stop.

[Wails]

[Music playing]

[Distant siren blaring]

Valeria: And then what happened?

Cristina: I didn't

know what to do.

I was lost, and I had nowhere else to go.

Valeria: Didn't you

report him to the police?

Cristina: You serious?

Report him?

No way, honey, no.

But I was dead set on getting rid of him.

Valeria: I don't understand.

Why didn't you do it?

Cristina: Because I

talked to Fanny,

and she convinced me not to.

Cristina, honey, girls like us

can never do better.

It is what it is.

If you're lucky enough to find a man

who wants to stay

for longer than a night,

you better not let him go.

You should always give

that f*ck another chance,

'cause life won't have

other opportunities for you,

you get it, honey?

Unless things get better,

if they ever do,

this m*therf*cking sh*t

will be the closest

to normal you ever get.

[Sighs]

[Computer chimes]

Angelo: I'm so sorry, Bella.

Do you forgive me?

No more fights from now on, I promise.

We can start over again.

I have a great idea,

an amazing one. Trust me.

[Cellphone buzzing]

Hello.

My love. I've been

trying to call you all day.

Well, I've been busy.

Busy doing what, exactly?

[Sighs] Busy with writing the book.

Valeria, please put

some thought into this.

You have a very serious job offer here.

Maybe you could call them and say

that something unexpected came up.

How long will you be in Madrid?

Miguel, I don't know.

But it's Christmas. You could

come back for a few days.

Please don't stress me out.

I don't understand.

I have to write this book,

finish what I started.

Okay, but why do you have to finish it?

[Sighs]

For her.

I know, Valeria, but you're

not responsible for her

she's a grown-up.

She can decide for herself.

No.

Not everybody gets to decide.

Though I do have a choice.

I'm staying here with her.

So you won't be here on new year's Eve?

My family's expecting you.

[Sighs] Yeah.

But I've got a family here.

[Manuel sighs]

And you can get to know them

if you want to.

I love you.

Valeria, hang on a minute, please.

[Sighs]

Cristina

What idea?

Wait. What?

What was Angelo's idea?

If we want to finish the book,

you have to tell me the whole story.

[Lights buzz]

[Lights buzz]

Sign down here, honey, please.

- But what's this?

- You know what it is.

Relax. It will all be fine.

But you know I can't read, Angelo.

I got this. Relax.

Please, don't worry.

- Right here?

- Yes.

Sign it.

[Music playing]

Allá donde nace El día ♪

allá donde nace El sol ♪

está nuestra casa pequeña ♪

donde UN día

buscaba tu amor ♪

¿Por qué me persigue El recuerdo?

¿Por qué no he podido olvidar?

¿Por qué aquel desamparo?

¿Por qué esa Soledad?

My house.

¿Por qué me dejabas tan solo?

¿A dónde tenías que ir?

- ¿En qué se te ha ido la vida?

- [Sirens approaching]

La vida ♪

We have to go!

Now! Come on!

[Pounding on door]

Don't you hear that?

Someone's banging on the door.

Yes, we do, paca.

- Haven't you changed the lock?

- No.

You gave the key to one of the Romanians?

- I don't know.

- Well, who is it?

- Hello.

- Oh!

What's he doing here?

What are you doing here?

I was at a party, and I was wondering,

"Cristina, Cristina,

is she alone?"

Cristina's not alone.

She's here with us.

Oh, is she now?

Damn right, with me and Valeria.

And you?

You are writing the book?

- Such a beaut

- Don't touch me.

Leave her!

You stay away from her.

I told you not to trust her.

She tells nothing but lies.

You are the liar, huh?

The liar is you.

He was the one that sent me to prison.

Right, Angelo? It was you.

I know it was you

who gave me away to the police.

- She is nothing but a liar!

- A liar, my a*s.

- You framed me.

- See?

It is impossible

to say anything to her, man!

Angelo, Cristina, tell the audience,

- how did the fire start?

- Weren't you listening?

- I just told you.

- Yes, but maybe

This dirty little rat

f*cking burnt it down.

On top of that, you reported me, b*stard.

- It's a lie.

- as*h*le.

The call was anonymous.

He had an Italian accent,

you m*therf*cker.

I wanna report

José Antonio Ortiz for fraud,

for setting a fire.

Let's stop it.

Stop it, both of you.

Enough, guys! Come on.

You both did it.

It's obvious you both

agreed to start the fire.

Then you fought, and you reported her,

and now veneno is sentenced

to three years in jail.

Oh, my god, this girl's

gonna k*ll me one of these days.

Tell me, Cristina,

where are you living now?

Well, in my house.

Where else would I live?

The insurance covered all the repairs.

But how did you get it back?

- [Beep]

- Cristina, pick up the phone.

I've called you about a thousand times.

What'd you do?

Why'd you say that on TV?

Listen to me.

You should come to valencia,

and let's let this

rest for a while, girl.

Cristina, you love me, right?

You know what we have,

five years together.

- Five.

- Who cares,

- five, three, ten or one?!

- Let me go.

Cristina's not your property anymore.

- Shut up!

- And don't you dare touch them,

- or I'll break your nose!

- Angelo: I'll k*ll you.

Get out of this house, you filth!

- Let me go.

- Get out of this house.

- Cristina

- Leave her alone.

- Listen to me.

- Please, we were happy.

I will call the police, you b*stard.

- I'm gonna k*ll you, you c**t!

- Leave her alone.

- Get out.

- Angelo!

Leave her alone.

Easy there.

- Valeria, put that down.

- Leave.

- Paca: Don't get in trouble.

- Take it easy.

Do you know why rats like you exist?

Because some girls,

they're taught to believe

they're not worthy of anything better.

Cristina deserves much better than you.

Easy, kiddo.

f*ck off, and never come back.

- Get out!

- Get out of this house!

- Don't try me.

- Sto andando. Easy.

I told you to get out

of this house, as*h*le!

m*therf*cker, don't ever come back!

Angelo?

[Doorbell rings]

[Pounding on door]

Police. Good evening.

- José Antonio Ortiz rodríguez?

- Yes, it's me.

You are being arrested for fraud, ma'am.

What are you talking about?

You have the right to remain silent

El destino jugó su partida ♪

la partida que yo no elegí ♪

fue tan larga

tu ausencia que, UN día ♪

al volver ya no te conocí ♪

[Sirens blaring]

Paca: Not all of us

can have luck.

Oh, god, that was crazy!

[Laughs]

We were so brave. Oh.

You gotta make sure

you change the lock, Cristina.

This was not good.

How are you? Oh, my god.

Because we all come

from different places.

But it doesn't matter

where you come from.

Somehow deep down, we're all the same.

["12 days of Christmas" playing]

- I love it, Cristina.

- Oh, really? You do?

- It's beautiful.

- It is, right?

Yes.

Paca, how's the lottery coming?

This is bullshit, girl!

There's only one number missing.

- [Scoffs]

- One single number, girl.

At some point in everyone's life,

we all fight the same battle,

have the same struggles,

the same surgeries,

the same pains, the same dreams.

Valeria: What do we do

with the men of your life?

Do you wanna go for initials

or do you wanna use the full name?

Paca: If I were you,

I'd go for initials

- We have to decide now.

- To avoid trouble.

R.m.

- Isn't that Ricky Martin?

- Don't say it out loud, paca.

Ah, don't put that in until

she decides how she'll do it.

It'll all break down into three parts

first would be joselito,

your childhood, adra,

marbella, the romeros.

"Memoirs of a peppy c**t."

- [Chuckles]

- You better shut your mouth.

You ain't no nun, honey.

It can't be "memoirs of Saint Cristina,"

given the wh*re you are.

"I feel like I can sense people's love,

"people of all ages,

"from little kids

to parents and grandparents.

"That's all I need to feel joy.

"I kept my promise

to be the person

I always wanted to be"

"And I welcome life's surprises now,

'cause it feel like

I've already lived it all."

And that's it.

We've finished writing the book.

Paca: Is it done? [Gasps]

Cristina, this is amazing, my dear.

[Gasps] After so long.

- [Doorbell rings]

- [Gasps]

You think that's Angelo again,

looking for a beating?

Well, all right.

Okay, let me see who's there.

My life's been pretty great.

We should do bookstores, do readings.

For sure.

Paca: Valeria, my love,

look what Santa has brought you.

Look at this pretty present.

Come in, beautiful.

Hey there.

[Laughs]

What are you doing here?

I want to know your family.

You okay?

Paca: Oh, my. How sweet.

When united, we can achieve

absolutely anything.

Because in the end,

that's the luck we share,

the luck of having each other.

What a yummy chicken I've got here.

- It's my family's recipe.

- This tastes like sh*t.

Come on. Eat some.

We were all dancing.

That was hilarious.

- Oh, god! Wrong pipe.

- Don't die.

[Music playing]

Cheers.

[Music continues]