Like many old stories,
what follows is based
on actual events.
The trick is figuring out
what parts of
the story are true
and what others are merely
the depraved products
of a twisted mind.
Once upon a time,
back around 1800,
there was a farmer named Peter.
He had a wife, Elizabeth,
who all of a sudden
got to acting unfaithful.
But these weren't
your normal infidelities,
mind you,
this was hardcore,
devil-filled debauchery.
Now, Peter knew
a good woman like Elizabeth
didn't turn all wild
for no reason at all.
Her behavior had to be
the work of a demon.
So Pete, having a healthy fear
of the supernatural,
had hatched a plan
to bind the creature.
Now, his first idea
was just, you know,
beat the devil out of her.
Sadly, that demon
just wouldn't let go.
So Pete had to switch to plan
B.
But even though
jack-o'-lanterns have
a long history
of binding spirits,
that stubborn old demon
had its claws
pretty deep into Elizabeth.
So there was only one thing
left for old Pete to do.
But demons aren't something
you want to mess with.
And just when you think
you got 'em
right where you want 'em,
they've always got
another trick up their sleeves.
But demons aren't something
you want to mess with.
And just when you think
you got 'em
right where you want 'em,
they've always got
another trick up their sleeves.
Wow, Pete.
You've got a dark side.
But that's okay, so have I.
My name is Trick,
and I've got
to hand it to you, Peter,
that was quite a trick
you pulled on me
with that jack-o'-lantern.
But don't be too proud.
After all,
anyone can k*ll somebody.
The trick is
to make a person's life
such a living hell
that they k*ll themselves
in order to escape.
Speaking of,
aren't you just curious to know
how a sweet, innocent woman
like Elizabeth
changed so much so quickly?
How something like me
got inside of her?
It was you.
Remember the blonde?
You know, the one that always
had a smile for you?
She's more than just a wh*re.
She's a witch.
So that night,
when you gave in to temptation,
you got more
than just a good time.
You got me.
Then you brought me home
and shoved me right inside
your lovely, little wife.
The trick is
figuring out
just how many pieces
you have to cut your wife into
before she'll fit
inside a pumpkin.
A priest walks into a bar.
I've told you this before,
try to remember.
-I'm not a priest, I'm a pastor.
-Six of one.
Now, what are
you doing here anyway?
I mean, you decide to trade
preaching for honest work?
Oh, no, I came to give you
some advice about your bar.
You did.
Very special place,
but your decorations
are very juvenile
as to what the identity
of the bar is.
Why you got to go busting
on my decorations, Joseph?
Oh, I'm not busting,
I'm just saying
you can get rid of some of them.
That one.
Oh, no way, Father.
Mark'll kick my a--
my butt.
Oh, no, he's not going
to kick your butt.
I'll tell you what.
I have got something
in my pocket,
the pastor's wallet.
I'm ready to pay you
$616 to purchase.
Man...
You could offer 50 more
and it still ain't for sale.
Although I am feeling
a whole lot better
about never putting any money
into your collection plate.
Now that I see exactly how it is
you spend your flock's money.
It's not my flock's money.
It's the money I've earned
from giving God's word
to the people who need
to hear it, want to hear it,
and even don't want to hear it.
You can tell me
all the wise saws
and the Zen koans or whatever
you're giving me, but, like,
this thing, it--
I've heard all
the stories about it, man.
You don't understand.
That pumpkin
is not what you think it is.
And I've heard all the stories,
I tell most of them.
I'm sure you do, but in order
to tell the stories properly,
you gotta know how to tell 'em,
you got to know the history.
You got to know about where
they came from,
what they do, what they've done,
what they will do.
Give it up, man,
Mark ain't selling.
And if you're waiting
around for this
plastic pumpkin bucket
to start talking
or some crazy sh*t like that,
I mean,
you're nuttier
than everybody else says.
Hey, we've had this thing here
for weeks now.
All it does is just sit there
and look ugly.
I'm coming!
Jesus.
Yes, I hear you, I'm coming.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay, I'm coming.
Ah, it's f*cking--
Wow, Ash, look at you.
Come on, come on, come on.
Okay, now-- okay, all right,
I'll let you in now.
See? Had us waiting.
Hey, finally.
-Oh, nice costume.
-God.
I can't believe
she got me to dress like this.
Yeah, well, I was just going
to wear my softball uniform.
Yeah, short stops are real hot.
Anyway,
there's no way that sl*t girl
is winning
sexiest costume again.
And Laura, it's a theme.
And what kind of theme
was that supposed to be, Kelly?
The three little hookers?
Y'all ready to go?
Let's go.
-Damn, Ash.
-What?
Getting up in the car
looking all sexy, and--
late, looking all late.
I mean, damn, it's bad enough
we got to come all the way out
here to BFE to get you,
but we got to wait
an hour or two?
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
It took me like an hour
to get into this thing.
What's that even
supposed to mean?
What's what supposed to mean?
-BFE?
-Really?
Butt-f*cking Egypt.
I know what that, but why does
that mean middle of nowhere?
Isn't Egypt like
the cradle of civilization?
I mean, yeah,
cradle of civilization,
but it's still in the middle
of the f*cking desert,
so, you know, BFE.
So where does
the butt sex come in?
Well that, well,
I'm glad you asked.
'Cause that'll be
for later tonight
after I've got
a little liquor in you.
Shut up.
Liquor in the front,
poker in the rear.
-Just give me the pumpkin.
-I like it.
I'm not gonna
give you the pumpkin,
but I do have a call here.
Oh, yeah, there's a VIP call,
I gotta take this.
VIP, this says for
a very important primate.
Yeah.
You know the man then,
I see that.
-I see you know the man.
-I'm gonna sit next to
the pumpkin
'cause that's where I belong.
He's my friend.
Give Trick back!
No, no, no!
He's my friend.
By blood bound
by blood be born.
Joseph, what have you done?
See, I've always said
you'd chew your eye out.
You're coming home with me.
-Hey, no!
-Come on, old man.
-Put it back.
-Hey, hey, hey!
I have cut you some slack.
Everybody in town knows
you've had
some pretty shitty luck.
Give me the pumpkin!
You are abnormally strong.
Look.
-Look.
-God damnit!
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Man, I'm telling you...
you may be a pastor,
but that is not gonna stop me
from doing everything I have to
to keep this pumpkin
in this bar.
Now, I may have a little bit
of fear of God left in me,
but ain't nothing compared
to my fear of Mark.
All you're doing
with this antics,
this screwing around,
you're just giving me
more stories
to tell about this thing.
You're giving me more reasons
to keep this pumpkin
in this bar.
Okay, listen to me right now.
I don't usually raise my voice,
but I am now.
You must get your stories right!
Well, here's a story for you.
You need to get
the hell out of here
because the boys
are coming back in
and Mark's gonna be with him
and Carl's gonna be with him.
And you do not want
to get caught in here with Carl
'cause you know
he hates religious folk.
You are a religious person,
am I correct?
-Spiritual, not religious.
-Spiritual.
Well, Carl doesn't give a damn.
Carl, in truth, hates himself.
And he hates you, too,
you just don't know it yet.
Carl hates everyone.
And that's why I stay
the hell out of his way.
I'm gonna take this
and you're gonna go.
-Y'all take care of yourself.
-Yes, sir.
Oh, let's see.
sh*t.
You know,
we saw the signs in this town,
they're everywhere.
Like I'd spend
Halloween night in a church.
Like you'd spend any time,
day or night in a church.
Hey, slow down,
you're going to hit an old lady!
God, speed.
Damn, it's just
an old lady in a wheelchair.
I mean, damn, it'd be
a mercy k*lling, 500 points.
Go for a thousand.
Just stupid.
Why do church people
have to ruin everything?
Hey, that's not nice.
I mean...
No.
Laura, how'd you get
your tattoos?
Henna.
We should have thought of that.
This marker is gonna
take forever to come off.
You used marker?
Man, babe...
I'm glad God made you so pretty
because he was definitely stingy
with everything else.
You're smart enough to know
what you're not getting tonight.
Nah.
Come on, no. Hell no--
You know what,
it's all good, it's all good.
I already got lucky, baby girl,
'cause my costume came
with these dope-a*s arm condoms.
Ew, you're so gross.
You're all lame.
Oh, let me check you out.
Oh, so I see the letters
and numbers for the school girl.
I'm just saying it's clever,
I like that.
And Miss Kitty
got the paw prints, meow.
But what's written
all over you, babe?
My French.
It's French, Einstein.
So what do your tattoos say,
then, Kelly?
All sorts of naughty stuff.
Here, look at this one.
What are you doing?
-Oh.
-Wait, what does it say?
Oh my God, Kelly,
you are such a sl*t.
Wait, what--
hold on, I got to see this.
Oh, here, come over here, I'm--
Keep your eyes on the road.
There could be
trick-or-treaters out there.
Out here?
Oh, right,
like there's all sorts of kids
running around Beanville
trick-or-treatin'.
Oh, look, there's one now.
Get us a couple cold ones,
will you, Billy?
Hold on a second.
I almost got
this little turkey,
and I want to nail him
before Mark gets here.
You know how bad he hates flies
since he got out of the joint.
Yeah, I ain't never seen prison
screw up a guy so much.
Yeah, almost as much
as he's gonna screw me up
if I don't smash this b*stard.
So, help me out, would you?
I don't think you want him
and Carl in a bad mood tonight.
-You got that right.
-Damn right I do.
Help me out.
Be my wingman here.
Where are you at?
Where are you at?
There he is.
There's a kid.
Damn.
There he is.
There he is.
Look, there's a kid.
- Are you screwing with me?
- There's a kid.
There he is.
Oh, my God, there's a kid!
In your face.
Suck it, fly.
I swear to God,
there was something out there.
Great, Ash.
Yo, why did you have to do that,
why would you do that?
That was not funny,
there was no little kid.
I know what I saw,
and there was a little girl.
Laura, you saw it too, right?
Right?
Let's give it another try,
The car's fine.
Give it another try?
I tried it a million times.
I told you already,
the car is stuck.
This is great, Ash.
You know, my dad's gonna f*cking
k*ll me when he sees this.
Hey.
Back from school for two days,
and now I just f*ck up
like this.
I should have stayed
in Carvingdale.
I should have stayed in
Carvingdale, I should have--
Calm down.
Look, there's nothing wrong
with the car.
You just call a tow truck
to pull it out of the ditch.
Your daddy will never know
anything happened.
Oh, thanks, Ash.
That's just great.
Of course
there's no reception out here
in the middle of BFE.
Oh, and by the way,
can you guess
how much it's gonna cost
for a tow truck
to come all the way out here?
Hey!
There's a tow truck
back at that bar,
it won't be that expensive.
See, I told you
it would be okay.
We just walk back there
and sweet talk the locals
into helping poor little us.
Come on, it's fine.
Let's go.
Yeah, f*ck you.
This is all your fault.
- "All your fault."
- I'm cold.
Come here.
Come closer, come closer,
come closer, come closer to me.
We have to be--
Oh, good,
the tow truck's still here.
Wait, what about this?
Well, at least we know
they can't sh**t us.
Let's go.
Well, and well,
and well.
Well...
y'all wanted
to go bar hopping, right?
Well, this is a... bar.
Let's a-hop, then.
Hey, man, talk to these dudes.
- Lookee here.
- Uh, hi.
Anyone own that tow truck?
Nope.
Okay, uh, anyone know who does?
Yep.
Well, would any of you
one-worders mind to--
David.
Don't mind him.
He bumped his head
when his daddy's car
went down in a ditch
back by Blue Mound,
and he can't get out.
Oh, my God, that's it.
That's the pumpkin
the little girl was holding
that we almost hit.
God, Ashley.
I told you,
there was no little girl.
Oh, you want to hear a story
about old Trick here?
Yes.
Well, did you know
this is the actual gourd
that inspired the Peter Pumpkin
in your children's
nursery rhyme?
No, no, we did not
know that.
Okay, we don't want
to hear no stories.
That's Billy.
Oh, hi, Billy.
Hi.
Anyway, um,
everybody within 50 miles
of Macon County says
they have that pumpkin.
Okay, we just--
we just want a tow.
I got a million stories
about old Trick here.
Uh, I can go all night,
so just hop up on that stool,
pretty lady,
and let me tell you one.
That's good.
Now, it was just a few towns
over in ,
about 56 years ago
on this very night...
Halloween.
All Hallows' Eve,
as the Fancy Nancys say.
A little girl
dressed as an angel
was out trick-or-treating.
And she was using old Trick here
as a candy container.
Trick and Treat.
It's not supposed to be
trick or treat?
No.
But she'd never say
"Trick or treat."
No, no, she'd say
"Trick and Treat."
And when asked why?
This is Trick.
He's my friend.
So that must make you Treat.
So folks that night,
well, they started
calling the girl Treat.
Um, but they say old Trick
here, um,
he wasn't that crazy about
being drug around by
that little girl.
So, as always,
he cooked up a little trick.
First, he used
some demon magic to escape.
And then he lured
poor little Treat
out into the street.
Now that,
plus a little bit of, you know,
distracted driving
from the local pastor,
and squish.
This old boy,
he's more dangerous
than he looks.
You wanna hold him?
Okay,
so how do you explain that?
-Explain what?
-The little girl I saw.
I think she was wearing
an angel costume too.
- You saw her?
- Okay.
All right, look.
One...
there wasn't any little girl.
Two, I don't give a sh*t.
And three, all I'm getting
from Gomer's story
is some hillbilly code
that says the only way
to get any cooperation
around here
is to stuff a little cash
in that hideous... thing.
So...
Yeah.
You wanna hear another story?
What we really want
is for someone
to help us tow our car.
Oh, why didn't
you say so, darling?
I can help with that.
All's you gotta do is,
uh, give me a little kiss.
- What?
- Oh, that's sweet.
I like that.
-Oh, gettin' a little feisty.
-Get off me, you b*stard!
What?
You think
you're too good for me?
Damn right I'm too good
for you, you idiot freak.
-Hey. Hey.
-Hey.
Hands off.
Come on, man,
don't make me have to...
Have to what?
Look, we got us a badass biker.
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
Well, I didn't even notice him.
Not with all this sweetness
this place is filled up with.
Oh, yeah.
Well, fellas, it looks like
we're in
for one hell of a party.
What'll you have?
Hmm.
Ooh.
I don't know.
I'm having a hard time
making up my mind. Damn!
Let me get you a menu, brother.
Hey,
why don't you come over here
and sit on my lap,
little girl?
I don't know.
I think
I'd rather pet that p*ssy.
- Ooh.
- Ooh.
Watch out for claws.
Don't look away.
They're animals.
The trick is not
to let them intimidate you.
- Good girl.
- Oh, right, right, right.
I'm sorry, I interrupted you.
You were just about to tell us
about a massive a*s kicking
you were getting ready
to lay down.
Guys, we--
we don't want any trouble.
No trouble at all, friend.
Just sit yourself down
and join us for a while.
Yeah. Oh, come on.
-Be our guest?
-Just let me go, all right?
-Stay for one.
-That's okay.
-No, no.
-No, no, no, no.
I don't think
you're listening, kid.
The man said sit down.
Oh, come on, hang out.
Have a beer. Just one.
Come on, look.
You-- you should be in here.
Look at you. Come on.
-Just hang out.
-Get the f*ck off me.
- We got us a badass biker boy.
- Oh, yeah.
If you touch me again,
as*h*le, I swear to God,
you'll spend the rest of
your life in prison...
taking it up the a*s
on a nightly basis.
Here we go.
Stay down. Stay down.
No! No! No!
- You stay down there.
- No! No!
What the hell?
You want to join him?
Don't you f*cking move!
No! No!
-No! No!
-The hell's wrong with you?
Yes...
You got
all those phones smashed?
Yep.
You get that body taken care of?
-You gonna get this blood up?
-No!
Yeah, I'll finish cleaning it up
once we decide what
we're gonna do with them.
Please.
Please, just-- just let us go.
We're not--
we're not gonna tell anybody.
- Oh, man.
- I promise.
You got blood on my pumpkin.
You got pumpkin on my blood.
Two great tastes
that taste great together.
It's not funny.
Come on, baby,
it's times like these
a guy needs
to keep a sense of humor.
Somebody let us out of here.
You don't all
have to go to jail.
- Hold on. Whoa.
- Hold on, man.
sh*t happened to you
behind bars,
but that's where
you've gotta keep it.
Behind.
I can't go back there, man.
Nobody's going to jail.
Nobody.
We'll figure this out.
-Pull your sh*t together.
-Sorry, I'm sorry.
Carl always comes up
with a plan, man.
We're gonna make it happen.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
Really now, sweetheart,
there's no need to be coy.
I mean, come on,
let's be honest.
Since you first walked in here,
you haven't been able
to keep your eyes off me.
Oh, God.
I'm going crazy.
I've lost my mind.
Oh, God, oh, God.
Stop it, stop it.
Stop it right now.
You've got to calm down.
I mean, people get
into impossible situations
all the time, and they survive.
The trick is to keep
your wits about you.
You just have
to stay focused.
- Now, come on.
- Breathe.
Good, good.
You're not real.
Of course I'm real.
You're looking
right at me, right?
No, this isn't real.
You're all in my head.
I forgot to take my meds.
Mom always said that
I was crazy.
Crazy?
Well, that's not
always a bad thing.
I mean, back in the day,
they said Jesus was crazy,
and look how well
he turned out.
Well, all but the,
you know, crucifixion thing.
A-- anyway.
If you're real,
then do something.
Get us out of here, please.
Sorry, beautiful.
You're the one
with arms and legs.
You're going to have
to get yourself out of here.
You're not real.
Fine, fine,
fine, fine, fine.
If all you can believe
is that I'm some panicked part
of your own imagination,
some kind of coping mechanism,
so be it.
But the only way
any of you girls
are walking out of here tonight
is if you do exactly what I
say.
The trick is,
you're going
to have to trust me.
Please.
Please, just let us go.
Please, it was an accident.
It was just an accident.
We're not going to tell anybody.
-I promise.
-Yeah, right.
Promises don't mean jack,
little girl.
The only way you can guarantee
someone's not gonna talk
is if you k*ll 'em.
Jesus, you-- you're
going to k*ll all these girls?
What kind of heat
is that gonna bring down?
Like, what, you're gonna
beat them all to death too?
Well, I can always strangle them
if that would make you feel
more comfortable.
I actually like that idea.
-Less blood.
-Yeah, a lot cleaner.
- Now, laugh.
- What?
Laugh!
"Ha" what?
Repeat after me.
Say exactly what I say.
Sure, you can k*ll these girls.
But what's to keep everyone in
here from spilling their guts?
As a wise man once said,
the only way you can guarantee
someone's not gonna talk
is if you k*ll them.
Sweetheart, ain't nobody
gonna rat on anybody in here.
It's club code.
He who talks...
no longer walks.
Sure,
fear might keep them
from talking for a while.
But sometimes fear of one thing
can override fear of another.
Things like the threat
of prison, for instance,
can make a man snap.
I'll show you a snap.
You see,
k*lling these rich college girls
isn't like k*lling one of
your White Tr*sh rivals.
People will actually care.
That means heat and pressure.
And I see people in here
who are definite candidates
to crack under pressure.
You need to make sure that
everyone in here is involved.
That way,
no one can talk.
Nah, man, screw that.
I'm gonna strangle
this b*tch first.
-Wait a minute.
-Mark.
What, you're telling me
we're not gonna k*ll her?
Of course
we're gonna k*ll her.
Anyone can k*ll somebody.
The trick is
to make a person's life
such a living hell
that they k*ll themselves
in order to escape.
Damn.
Seriously?
Anybody else
getting hard up in here?
This chick's a total psychopath.
So, let me just make sure
I got this straight.
So we're just supposed
to force...
everybody in here
to help k*ll all of you.
Brilliant.
But what did I expect
from The Strangler?
Aren't you listening?
You can't force them.
Anyway, can't you think
of something more creative?
I mean, God.
Look at us.
And to think
I was actually scared of you.
Shut up! Shut up!
God, Ash, please be quiet.
Oh, I'm gonna
show you something, b*tch!
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
She makes a good point.
We all have to be involved.
Besides,
we were looking at this like
we had some kind of problem.
What we really have
is an opportunity.
- Yes!
- I got you, man.
What you saying, I get it.
Some fine.
Oh, yeah.
I never saw a car out there.
Nah, theirs went up
in the ditch by Blue Mound.
Any sane person
would have gone the other way.
They only came here
'cause they saw the tow truck.
Anybody saw that car,
they would have thought they got
picked up on the highway.
It doesn't add up
they'd be here.
- Right.
- Right.
No, no, I called someone
on the walk over.
People know we're here.
Bullshit.
If you'd have called somebody,
you wouldn't have came
all the way in here
looking for a tow.
Besides, I checked your phones
before I crushed them.
You didn't call nobody.
Whoa, whoops.
I think
that didn't work, did it?
- What should I say?
- Wait.
Let their wheels
turn for a while.
This could work.
Sure it will.
Now, as far as I'm concerned,
let's just make sure
- Mark don't go to jail.
- No, man.
It's not like
any of the rest of us
had a chance of getting
into heaven anyway, right?
- Amen, brother.
- Shut up.
You know
I hate that church talk.
Sorry, Carl,
I didn't mean nothing by it.
The best part is,
this guarantees nobody talks.
We give this little lady
the creativity
she's been looking for.
Just like she said.
We aren't gonna k*ll anybody.
They're gonna k*ll themselves.
All we're gonna do
is play a little game.
- Yeah.
- I like that.
Billy, three glasses and
a bottle of our best tequila.
Yes, sir.
Now you're speaking
my language.
Oh, yeah.
This isn't the time
for sad faces.
This is the time
for the party of our lives.
Yeah!
Hell yeah!
Fire, ladies!
Let me hit that.
Who wants to be my lime?
Billy, get me
that brown bottle of powder.
Yes, sir.
It's that brown bottle
Frank used to use.
He used it...
to k*ll rats.
-This is--
-Billy!
Baby Jesus!
Damn, man. You got me.
You got me.
You scared the sh*t
out of me, man.
Mark, go to the safe
and get the drug money.
-You want all of it?
-All of it.
All right, you got it.
Billy, get me the cash
out of the cash box.
-Yes, sir.
-The drug money.
All the drug money.
We got a plan.
Let's get the tips, too.
- That's a lot of money.
- Yeah.
- All right, let's do this.
- Here we go.
Boom!
Damn.
That's like 100 grand, man.
More like 150, baby!
Here's the deal.
Tonight, we have
the party of our lives.
- Drink this expensive booze.
- Oh, yeah.
Do whatever we want
to these lovely ladies.
Except you can't k*ll 'em.
That wouldn't be very creative,
like kitty said.
The game is to get them
to k*ll themselves.
Anyone who gets them
to drink
that poison...
splits all the cash.
All right.
Each one of these ladies
is worth more than 50 grand.
Wait a minute, though.
You can't force 'em.
They gotta drink
all on their own.
You got it?
Uh, what if a couple of us
are doing something to them
and they can't take it no more?
-What happens to the cash?
-We split 'em up.
Anyone who's
in the room with them
when they off themselves
splits the cash.
A little bit of privacy in here.
-All right.
-I'm ready to split some cash.
Yeah.
Let the games begin.
Yeah,.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Looks like this one
wants to make sure
we all get a little cash.
No, no.
- Do it. Do it.
- Don't do it, Laura.
-Oh, no.
-Don't do it, Laura.
- We'll make it through this.
- Do it. Do it.
I don't wanna die like this.
It's only gonna get worse.
Do it.
Trust me.
Do it. Do it.
Do it. Do it.
- Oh, come on.
- I trust you.
Okay. I trust you.
- Okay.
- Hey!
You're not playing fair, b*tch.
You know,
you're getting on my last nerve.
So this is what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna stick with you.
You and I are about
to have a whole lot of fun.
You and Billy
can keep the psycho.
I'm taking the schoolgirl
back to the bathroom.
Huh?
Oh, I want a piece of that.
Hold on.
I'm with you on this one.
Let's go, cupcake.
Guess what, Frenchie?
That means you're ours.
Grab her, Cyrus!
Say goodbye.
Say goodbye!
Are you starting to get
scared of me now, crazy lady?
Wow, that didn't work
out very well, now did it?
Oh.
Oh, you're a pretty
little fish, aren't you?
Oh, hell, why'd you set
the glass way over there?
-How she's gonna reach it?
-She's not supposed to.
I don't want her to k*ll herself
until after
we've had a little fun.
Then we pull in a cool 50 grand,
'cause she's going to be
begging for death
by the time we're done with her.
I'm way into that.
You're not like
the others, are you?
You're embarrassed.
You don't like being all
dressed up like a wh*re, do you?
But don't worry.
Ed can take care of that.
Oh, God.
What have I done?
Oh, my God.
Oh, calm down.
I was only kidding.
Like the man said,
it's times like these a guy
needs to keep a sense of humor.
The trick is to make sure
you're the one who laughs last.
God, I hate you.
Oh,
I don't think you mean that.
Anyway, don't you think
I'm just a figment of
your imagination?
Be realistic.
If you hadn't done
what you just did,
all three of you
would already be dead.
I bought you the most important
thing a person can get
in a situation like this.
Time.
The way it was before,
when they were
going to k*ll you,
they were in control.
The way it stands now,
you're in charge.
It's only over
when you say it's over.
Stop ignoring me.
Oh, b*tch.
I am going to eat you alive.
Look at all this cool sh*t
we have to play with.
This, I f*cking love this.
Look at this, sweetheart.
What do you think?
Fun?
You want to play with this?
-No, please.
-Little scratchy, scratchy.
-Bam, bam, bam, bam.
-Please let me out.
-Oh... Oh...
-I won't tell anyone.
I bet you wish you'd been
a little nicer to me before,
don't you?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I promise.
I promise I'll be nice.
- No.
- Dirty little girl.
No. No.
Huh, huh?
Come on, Carl.
Let's get to it, man.
No, I want to savor this.
We got all night long,
don't we little girl?
That is,
unless you're thirsty.
Oh.
Wow, honey.
Looks like
you really pissed this guy off.
Time for step two.
You've got to get them out of
here for a couple of minutes.
Stay with me, sweetie.
Hannibal here will probably
take a hunk out of you soon.
And then that arm
will be useless.
Surely you know something
that can make him leave.
Think. Any bit of information.
-Please don't hurt me.
-I won't.
I'm not Cyrus.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
Oh, why don't you ask me
for a kiss?
Ask me to kiss you.
-Kiss me.
-I'm sorry, what?
-Look at him.
-Kiss me.
Yeah, no.
I'm not believing that at all.
I'm not feeling it.
You gotta--
You gotta to convince me.
Like you mean it.
Kiss me.
Actually...
I think I want you to beg me.
Please! Please!
Huh? Huh?
I said to beg me, b*tch!
Please, God, kiss me.
- Think.
- I don't-- I don't--
Think.
Laura's a virgin.
Wait, what?
Oh, my.
That's too perfect.
Repeat after me,
or you'll all be dead.
And you've got to say it
and mean it.
Trust me.
-Yeah, she's a virgin.
-Yeah, she's a virgin.
It's some kind of
religious thing.
She's barely even kissed a guy.
And I can't imagine
what it's going to be like
if that humongous
friend of yours
gets in there and deflowers her.
He'll probably rip her in half.
Probably want to get in there
as soon as possible.
You saw her. She's weak.
She'll be reaching
for that glass any second now.
So if you get in there
in time...
not only will you get
a huge wad of cash,
you'll also get
a once-in-a-lifetime show.
- You are one heartless b*tch.
- No, no.
sh*t, man. She's right.
I saw that girl.
She was reaching for the drink
even before anything
practically happened.
I almost forgot.
Oh, oh, you're too good for me.
-Yeah.
-No!
Ain't no b*tch
no good for my brother.
Cyrus,.
Help me!
-Come here.
-No, please.
No, please. I'm so sorry.
You like this? You like this?
- Yeah.
- No!
Yeah!
I'm not gonna kiss you.
This is just for a little
reconstruction surgery.
After all, I can't expect
a girl as pretty as you are
to kiss a hideous freak like me.
A virgin.
I mean, can you imagine
what Carl and Ed are gonna do
- to that sweet little thing?
- Some bad things.
Oh, sh*t. Let's go.
Plus, I always wanted
to feel me a schoolgirl.
You're a sick b*stard, Mark.
I know all about you.
And I think I'll k*ll you last.
Is that right?
Well, just remember this
while you're sitting here,
listening to your friend scream
in the other room.
Once I'm done with her,
I'm coming back here.
And I'm gonna take my time
doing so much worse to you.
I've got a secret.
You're sh1tting me.
-No.
-Ah, sh*t.
Your little friend
just told Mark here...
that you're a virgin.
Oh, hell no.
- Yeah.
- Sweet and tight.
No.
No! Ashley, no!
-No!
-Don't give up, Laura.
Oh, she's gonna
give up, all right.
Her friend told us
she was some sort of
church girl,
barely even kissed a boy.
- Oh!
- f*ck.
But don't worry, baby girl.
I'm gonna change that.
No, this changes everything.
I hate these religious assholes.
We're gonna see how much
she really believes in God.
Don't worry.
When we're done,
you can have your fun.
Deal.
Oh, sweetie, don't cry.
It'll be okay.
Anyway, you need to hurry.
You probably didn't buy
yourself that much time.
All right.
But you're here to help me.
Just like you helped
that little girl
in the story the bartender
told.
The one I saw?
What am I thinking?
She's not even real.
You're not real.
I'm losing my mind.
I would think
you'd know better by now
than to put
a lot of faith in Billy.
Anyway, I didn't hurt
that little girl.
You tricked her into
going out into that street.
No. No, no, no.
I never tricked her.
She was my friend.
Would you like to be my friend?
You think there's a God,
little girl?
Well, just wait till you see how
Ed here handles
you religious folk.
No, please.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
So let me get this straight.
You think God, some made-up,
supernatural bullshit,
is gonna swoop in here
and save you from
a bad man like me?
You ever heard of
death by a thousand cuts?
Oh, I like this one.
This is gonna be just like that.
But-- but...
I have a question for you.
Okay, so if I deny God...
I'm going to hell, right?
Right?
Yes.
Hmm.
Okay.
But if you deny God...
do you go to hell, too?
Yes.
Come here. Come here. Come here.
I got news for you.
This is hell,
and I'm your m*therf*cking God
right now.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, say that I believe you.
I did it.
I said all the horrible things
you wanted
just to get them out of here.
Now you get me out of here.
So what is it?
A second ago, I was
a figment of your imagination.
Now, I'm a magic genie.
Listen, it took pouring
half a gallon
of your friend's blood
all over me
before I could even
get your attention.
I'm doing all I can do.
I want you to say it.
Say I'm God.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Let's try this again.
Say it.
Pray to your God
to stop your pain.
Say I'm your God.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
You're not doing anything
except for pissing
these guys off
and getting
my friends r*ped and m*rder*d.
No, I'm taking care of
all that.
As long as you do what I say,
your friends aren't going to
get r*ped or m*rder*d.
I promise.
Anyway, you said
you wanted out, didn't you?
Well, a minute ago,
you were attached
to this chair by
all four of your lovely limbs.
Now you have an arm free.
I'd say we're a quarter
of the way there already.
Anything you can get into,
you can get out of.
The trick is
to think it through
step by step.
Say I'm your God.
No.
That one looked like
it hurt a little bit.
What would your God say
about suicide, little girl?
Drink it.
Go on.
Man, that was money.
-I thought so.
-Just tryin' to have some fun.
Now say it.
Say I...
am... your... God!
No.
All right.
Now, how about that kiss, hmm?
Pucker up, princess.
You're right.
I can see why you wouldn't
want to kiss a hideous freak.
You're about to turn my stomach.
What are you held in
there with?
Zip ties.
And how do those work?
There are little teeth
going one way
and another tooth
on the other side
that lets the strap
slide in but not out.
Right.
And what might circumvent that?
Think step by step, remember?
Cyrus, grab me
one of those bags.
What damn bag?
The one right
in front of your fat head.
Thank you.
All right. Yes.
Yes, I think
this will do the trick.
There we go.
There we go. Oh, beautiful.
She's a bag lady.
I've got a safety pin
to keep this tail on.
And you doubted me.
Good girl.
We don't have any phones.
The door is bolted shut
and there aren't even
any real windows in this place.
- Now what?
- We need a plan.
You have
the advantage of surprise.
Let's use it. It's like chess.
It's fun to take the pawns,
but the game's only over
after you k*ll the king.
The trick is to always think
five moves ahead.
Oh, sh*t, Simon.
We can bang some ugly bag-head
chick any time we want, man.
Gotta go get
some of that pretty cat girl
before somebody ruins her too.
Hey, ugly people need love too.
Hiya, kitten.
You all by your lonesome?
I got a riddle for you.
What did
the itty-bitty kitty say
to the big bad man
right after he poked her?
Me-ow.
Get it?
Me-ow.
I'm not sure if I can do this.
I don't know if I can
actually k*ll a person.
Sure you can.
k*lling is easy.
Just keep in mind
what this monster has done.
Think it through.
Would you rather not k*ll him,
or rather he not k*ll you?
Those look like they hurt.
They hurt?
You mind if I kiss them?
Laura, don't give up!
I'm-- I'm gonna
get us out of here, I swear!
I hope you guys are done
listening to all that yelling,
because you ain't going to be
hearing it for a while.
I got plans
for that cute little mouth.
Oh, God.
Can I do it now?
No, no, no, no.
You're only going
to get one chance at this,
and you've got to
hit him just right.
There's no room
for struggle or noise.
You go for the throat.
Strong and deep,
or it won't k*ll.
You can't have him screaming,
or the rest of these guys
will be all over you.
One quick slice across the
neck, wide enough to take out
the windpipe
and the jugular vein.
Just let him
go about his business.
Put it out of your mind.
It's all about timing.
The trick is to catch him
with his pants down.
I'll tell you when.
Wait.
Easy for you to say.
Oh, my God.
I don't think I can hold on.
I'm... Oh, I--
Just pretend it's me.
What?
Here, let me show you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You kind of like it, don't ya?
Oh, yeah.
Wait.
-Wait.
-Yes.
Wait.
Now!
I've got one.
What did the big bad man say
to the itty-bitty kitty
right after she cut his throat?
Me...
ow.
Oh...
What's the matter?
Cat got your tongue?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, now, that was funny.
You think it would be
inappropriate to laugh?
- No.
- Good.
'Cause I was gonna laugh
anyway.
You just sit right there.
There we go.
I said stay right there!
f*cking listen to me.
Now...
now that we're all alone...
I think we need to have
a little talk...
about who you are.
What you've become.
Oh, you're going to live.
Yes. Yes.
But your life is gonna be
very, very different.
Welcome to the world
of hideous freaks...
b*tch.
Hold f*cking still, Jesus!
I'm making art here.
Hey, Cyrus, where you at man?
This room is no fun at all.
That little Jesus freak
is still hanging on.
Man, she's a lot tougher
than I'd give her credit for,
I tell you that much.
So I thought
I'd leave the virgin room
and come in and see what--
What the hell y'all--
Perfect.
And so quiet too.
You're like
a sexy Halloween ninja.
I knew there was
a reason I liked you.
What now?
Well this time it's
all about the math, sweetheart.
One room's got three men in it.
The other's got one.
Bingo!
Yes. There.
Now you're beautiful.
Beautiful!
Beautiful enough
to f*ck, I think.
Yes.
Oh, sweetheart, you better stop
crying and get used to this.
Because from now on,
the only people
who are gonna
want to be f*cking you
are going to be guys like me.
That's right.
Turn around there.
There you go.
That's good. That's good.
That's--
Ooh la la.
Yes, I speak French.
But frankly, I think
I'm in the mood for
a little Greek.
Hope you are too.
Hush, shh. It's me.
It's me, it's Ash. Here.
See?
-I told you k*lling was easy.
-You're gonna live.
And it just
gets easier every time.
It's okay.
Yeah. I promise.
I'm going to
take this off you, okay?
It's okay.
Oh!
They ruined me.
No.
It's not that bad.
It's gonna be okay.
This-- this is not
how it's going to end. Okay?
Listen, just stay quiet, okay?
Uh, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna go to the door.
And I'm gonna see if I can--
Okay?
Try to stay quiet.
I think everyone's
still in the bathroom.
So here's what
we're going to do.
Kelly!
- Kelly!
- I'm sorry. I--
So, this is what
it sounds like when doves cry.
Ah, I guess I should probably
stick to jokes
that weren't old
20 years before you were born.
You think this is funny?
No, of course not.
I'm just trying to keep
a sense of humor.
Kelly is dead.
You said we'd be okay
and now she's dead.
I mean,
I said no such thing.
I promised no r*pes or murders.
And I've kept my word.
Surely you can't blame me
for her death.
She k*lled herself.
- But she was...
- Vain?
Uh, you were in here
in time to save her.
But she was weak and selfish,
leaving you to handle this
all by yourself.
You can't be that way.
You still have time
to save Laura.
I'm the one looking out for
you.
And you dare to get angry at
me?
Get out of my head!
I don't think you mean that.
The trick to surviving all this
is to embrace the hate.
Anyway, without me,
there won't be anyone around
to tell you that Billy...
is right behind you.
Holy sh*t!
That's it.
Embrace what others call crazy.
Use it.
Size and strength
are feeble weapons
in a battle against madness.
You muscle-bound b*stards
think you can take me?
Strong don't mean sh*t!
Because right now,
you're f*cking with crazy!
Magnificent!
Okay.
Here's what we do next.
Stop it! I'm done.
I can't listen to you anymore.
You-- you're not even real.
But I helped you.
No!
You haven't done anything.
I saw Billy at the window.
I-- I thought my own way out--
out of everything.
Just...
Just what?
Just a way for you
to lie to yourself?
A way to trick yourself
into believing it wasn't you
who was sacrificing your
friends to buy yourself time?
No.
Maybe it was you
who sent all those boys
into the room with Laura,
just so you could survive.
- No!
- Maybe you're right.
Maybe it's all you.
Maybe your medication
is wearing off.
No.
Maybe it's just some
psychobabble survivor's guilt.
I'm sure all
the psych professors
who stuffed your head full
of nonsense back at school
would readily agree with that.
No!
Maybe that unquenchable
instinct
to survive is all you.
The trick is to realize
that might not be a bad thing.
No! Leave me alone!
Maybe
you were right all along.
So, just like Tinkerbell,
once the children
stop believing,
I stop existing.
Goodbye, Ashley.
It's been nice knowing you.
Well, look at you
doing a favor for us.
You k*lled everyone
who might have talked
and we didn't have
to spend a dime.
So now all we have to do
is bang you two b*tches,
slit your throats,
and then call it a night.
I mean, I don't want
to sound ungrateful or anything,
but we do have a lot of bodies
to bury before the morning.
That's a great plan, man.
-All right.
-I knew it!
I told you I wouldn't give in.
You're so weak you couldn't even
get me to do it.
You're gonna have to k*ll me.
And don't think I don't know
what happened to you
in prison, Mark.
The things you said,
the things you do,
the part that
really freaks you out.
I'm not stupid.
I know what happens
to pedophiles in prison.
So go ahead.
r*pe me. r*pe my friend.
All it does is show me
just what happened to you.
What your daddy
or sick Uncle d*ck
or whoever did to you
as a little boy.
Break down and show me
all your secrets.
That is,
if you can even get it up.
Then k*ll us and show us
just how feeble you are.
You're so weak
you couldn't even break me.
You're nothing but
a pathetic, powerless child.
And for the rest of your life,
you'll know I beat you.
Told you.
b*tch!
Do not let it
get under your skin, man.
No! I am not gonna
let this wh*re beat me!
Just wait, b*tch.
You should not have
riled him up.
You can't even imagine
what he's capable of.
Like this entire night's
been a real treat.
All right. You stay right there.
Don't move.
I've got an idea.
- No, no, no!
- Oh, no, no, no.
All right, honey.
Now you can sit and watch this
as long as you want.
Because
I'm telling you right now,
the only thing
that's gonna stop me...
...from peeling all the skin
off your little friend
right here
and k*lling her slowly
in front of you
is if you take that shot.
- Go to hell!
- Oh, honey.
I've... got...
all... night!
Oh, great, Mark.
You k*lled her.
I hope you're happy.
Now I'm gonna do yours.
Oh, fair enough.
We can share.
Oh, my God.
Come here.
I thought you were dead.
I set it up.
A good friend of mine taught me.
It's like chess, you know?
The trick is to...
Oh, God.
...is think five steps ahead.
Hang on. No, we're
gonna get you out of here.
Here. Oh, God.
Let's get you covered up.
It was kind of like a plan.
The first thing I did
when I got out earlier
was to pour out all the poison
and replace it
with plain tequila.
You're a genius.
No!
No!
It's just you and me now,
sweetie.
No one else.
No more tricks. I win!
What does your crazy a*s
have to say about that?!
I believe!
I think
you're forgetting someone.
I told you I'd k*ll you last.
Now,
how's that for a trick?
Oh, thank God.
Not quite.
So much for
the you're-all-in-my-head thing.
I-- I don't understand. I...
You said
you couldn't do anything.
I couldn't.
Well, not until
the unfortunate death
of your little
virgin friend over there.
I must admit,
the night's overall carnage
has given me a bit more power.
But once sweet Laura was...
Stop it!
I don't want to talk about it!
Well, let's just say
once I touched innocent blood,
I can pretty much do anything.
It also didn't hurt
that you finally realized
the end justifies the means.
We're a lot alike, you and I.
I'm proud of you.
It was your realization,
your acceptance of manipulation
and survival at all cost
that allowed you
to embrace my methods
and finally believe.
Then I could help you again.
I just have to get out of here!
Hey, hey!
Take me with you.
What?
I helped you.
You'd be dead
if it wasn't for me.
The least you can do
is get me out of this hellhole.
Aren't you forgetting
something?
What?
Well,
there is over $150,000
just sitting
on the bar over there.
No. I'm not gonna take that.
I'm gonna go to
the police station
and I'm gonna tell them
exactly what happened
-and they--
-Would have no way
of knowing
how much money there was.
The trick is
to leave some behind.
That way
you can tell the real story
and no one will be the wiser.
We're alive.
Great.
What do we do now,
go back in there
and search everyone's pockets?
Their bloody pockets, too,
and find the keys
to that truck?
Actually,
that truck doesn't run,
but it's no problem.
Just click your heels
together three times and say,
"There's no place like home."
Just kidding!
I pretty much shot my wad
with that last trick,
but with a little more
innocent blood
I can literally
do anything you can imagine.
But for now, maybe you could
hop on one of those
motorcycles.
I don't know
how to ride a motorcycle.
Well, you could walk
to that little town up there.
There looks to be
at least one light on.
There was the old lady's house
we passed on the way here.
Maybe we can go there.
Keep on the lookout
for a culvert or something
to stuff your bag of cash in.
You can't have it with you
when you call the police.
Just because you're no longer
fighting for your life
doesn't mean
I can't still help you.
Saving your life
and paying for college,
it's not a bad night's work,
but it's just the beginning.
I can give you anything
you can imagine.
All I need is a little more
innocent blood.
Yes.
I mean, no, no.
I already hate myself enough.
Kelly's dead,
Laura's dead, David's dead.
The trick is to decide
who you hate more?
Yourself for what you've done,
or everyone else
for what's been done to you.
The death of your friends
tonight proves my point.
The world is random.
What happened to them
was pointless.
There is no justice,
no fairness,
no rewards
for good behavior in life.
These are all lies
that people tell themselves
so that they can
wake up every day
and trudge through
the hopelessness
of their pathetic existence.
Just think about what I said.
You've got to admit,
it would be nice to have
everything you ever wanted.
Oh, hold on.
Just a second.
I'll be right there.
Oh, my.
She sounds like
she's about a thousand.
This is perfect.
You wouldn't even be robbing
her of that many years.
Come on. It'll be easy.
You could probably
just say "boo" real loud
or make a sudden movement
and give her a heart attack.
Shut up!
I'm not going to k*ll
an old lady.
There you go, sweetie.
You are a little late,
but I still had some candy left.
I hope you like
baby fingers, sweetie.
Oh, perfect.
Surely you can k*ll her.
I mean, from the looks of it,
she's nearly dead anyway.
She's pretty messed up.
Think of it as a mercy k*lling.
I was wondering
if I could use your phone.
There's been an accident.
Oh.
Oh, well, of course.
Come on in.
Ask her
if she lives alone.
- Why?
- Just do it.
Do you live alone?
Oh, yes, of course.
Please, sit down over there.
I'll just go
wrangle up the phone.
Come on.
Look at this place.
No one would ever
find her for months.
It would be easy.
You've been k*lling
all night long.
What's one more death
in exchange
for anything you can imagine?
No.
This is different.
Like you said, she's innocent.
Let me tell you a true
story about innocence, sweetie.
Once, a long time ago,
a little boy
was beaten into a coma
by his ill-tempered father.
Everyone that loved
the little boy
prayed that he would get
better.
And, miraculously,
three days later, he did.
Trick is, that little boy...
was Adolf Hitler.
I really must thank you
for bringing Trick back to me
after all this time.
I have missed him so.
Aw.
You look a little confused.
I'm sure she is.
They told her
an awful story in that bar.
A lie about me hurting you.
Oh, well, that must be it, then.
Allow me to set
the record straight.
Everyone tells that story.
The problem is...
that the young ones
who weren't around at that time
all tell it wrong.
Trick and Treat!
Seems the townspeople
didn't much care for the games
that Trick and I played.
But we didn't care.
For a while there, we had
everything we ever wanted.
Then, one Halloween,
Joseph just couldn't leave
well enough alone.
g*dd*mn Joseph.
- Trick!
- Treat!
Trick was too far away.
I think she's still alive.
I couldn't reach him.
Smash her head with a shovel!
No, no, we just need to get her
away from the pumpkin.
Oh my God, look at her leg!
And then they took me away.
And then they went back...
...there,
less than ten minutes later,
they searched till sunup,
but Trick
was nowhere to be found.
Thanks, Easter Bunny.
Bye-bye.
I told you,
with innocent blood
I can do anything.
Goodbye, Ashley.
It's been nice knowing you.
-Trick and Treat!
-Trick and Treat!
I'm so happy to have you back.
But I just wish
you hadn't taken so long.
Well,
I came as fast as I could.
But you can't imagine
how hard it is
to get from place to place
when you don't have any legs.
- Uh...
- Oh yeah, sorry.
Peter, Peter.
Pumpkin eater.
Had a wife.
So he put her
in a pumpkin shell
and there he kept her very
well.
What kind of sick parent
tells their children
stories like that?
I mean, dear God.
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Trick and Treats (2025)
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