04x10 - I No More Desire a Rose

[bunniefuu]

So, in short,
I'm certain that Wintermas,

Arden's revamped
Christmas Festival,

will be the crowd-pleasing,
inclusive celebration

that we all need.

And finally,
I'm thrilled to confirm

that Wintermas's
amazing Christmas lights

will be switched on tomorrow night

by celebrity survivalist...

Hawke Wilde.

- (crowd applauding, cheering)
- Yes.

Yes, the man who walked
across the Arctic backwards

has agreed to make
the even more dangerous trek

to Arden.
(chuckles)

I heard the council
are paying Hawke Wilde

22,000 pounds
from the schools budget.

I make no apologies
for being ambitious, Martin.

Now, if there's
no further questions, thank you.

Did you tell him about Wilde's fee?

(chuckles)
Why on earth would I do that?

(chuckling)

(Tim) Councillor Davies?

I bring worrying tidings
about the reindeers.

There are no reindeers.

- What? Why?
- It seems they were cancelled.

- By you.
- They most certainly were not.

(bells jingling)

Yeah, I know, Mr Morris, but...

this cancellation was sent
from a fake email account,

set up in my name.

No! No, no, no!
I need those reindeers!

(line disconnects)

(sighs)

- (voicemail) You have one message.
- (beeps)

(man) h*-h*-h*!
Merry Christmas, Elaine.

I'm the Voice In The Dark.

I do hope you're enjoying
all my little gifts.

Don't worry,
there's much worse to come.

Prepare yourself
for total humiliation.

(theme music)

Oh, oopsy daisy, silly me.

So, what are we looking at?

- (Sebastian) Looks amazing.
- (Lu) Oh, what that?

Yeah, that's my, uh,
that's my friend's pad in Florida,

actually, going there
for Christmas.

-After the year I've had,
-(phone ringing)

I could do with a recharge.

- It's very nice.
- (Lu) Yeah, it is, isn't it?

Oh, I love Florida.

Always imagined I'd move
out there for good one day.

(Lu) Who knows? Maybe I'll go
for Christmas and never come back.

Christmas crisis at Town Hall.

(festive music playing)

(Lu) Oh, look, look. They've got
a Hansel and Gretel house.

- Yeah. Very festive.
- (Lu) Ha-ha, I love it. Ice bar.

Don't remember that being
in the Nativity but I'll take it.

- (Lu) "Vegan c*ck."
- (Frank) Uh, maybe not.

I mean, what was wrong

with a good old fashioned
Christmas Festival?

Well, Hawke Wilde

wouldn't be turning the lights on,
for a start.

Hey, you see
that documentary about him?

Uh, behind that cheesy grin,
he's a right miserable sod.

- (chuckles)
- Oh.

It's like you, isn't it?
But without the grin.

(man on recording) Don't worry,
there's much worse to come.

Prepare yourself
for total humiliation.

So you think this...
"Voice In The Dark" character

is the same person
that sent these spoof emails

and leaked Hawke Wilde's fee
to the press?

Yes. They're clearly trying
to sabotage my festival.

(Elaine) And I need you
to identify them.

Why would anyone want
to ruin such an amazing event?

Well, Wintermas,
it's bold and ambitious,

and that's two words that scare
a lot of people in this council.

- Anyone in particular?
- Yes.

- Who?
- Well, Angela Jacklin.

- What, the Mayor?
- Oh, yes.

She's desperate to keep
this Christmas festival

the stale relic it's been
for the last 40 years.

And she hates us.

Like Thatcher,
she can't bear strong women.

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey ♪

- ♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells... ♪
- (knife sharpening)

(Rob) So, what's it to be
today now, Liv?

The white meat or the dark meat?

I'll start you with white meat.

(cutlery clatters)

Right. Turkey on the right,
roasties on the left.

("Jingle Bells" playing
in background)

Milly and Rosie want me
to go with them

to see Wintermas tomorrow.

(sighs)
No, I don't think so, sweetheart.

- Why not?
- (Rob) Because...

there'll be thousands of people.

- And you're still only 15.
- So?

- I could take you myself.
- Forget it.

Hey, I, I was thinking,
after dinner, maybe, we could...

No. I'm not watching
It's A Wonderful Life again.

Actually, I was gonna suggest
Miracle on 34th Street today.

No! No films! No turkey!
I'm not doing this anymore!

(dish shatters)

Oh, come and look at this.

Elaine has sent it

and she says it's from a meeting
that they had

- a month ago.
- Your "Festival" is cynical,

tasteless, and vulgar, Elaine.

A mirror of its creator, in fact.

Oh, Angela.
Because doing something exciting

and different is always frightening

for narrow-minded bigots like you,
isn't it?

Well, this is why traditions
like Christmas

need to be protected.

To save us all from crass,
self-obsessed attention seekers.

- Meow!
- Oh what, because what the world

really needs now are
more judgmental snobs like you!

I demand a veto!

Oh, you're on mute, you fool!

(all laugh)

You're a civic Mayor, Angela.
You don't have any authority.

Oh.

And as you know, I'm all
for increasing cultural inclusion.

- However...
- Oh, shut up, you spineless weasel.

(Angela) Elaine Davies,
two failed marriages

may have left you
bitter and twisted...

Oh, here we go.

But that is no excuse
for turning Arden

into a mini version of Blackpool.

- That was amazing.
- Wasn't it?

Elaine's got a tongue on her,
hasn't she?

And our Mayor is clearly no fan.

We'll have to talk to her tomorrow.

Please let me come with you.

No, sorry, Sebastian.
You've got to stay here.

We've got a bloke
coming to bleed the radiators.

Shall we go and get
some of those hot chocolates

with the little marshmallows in?

- I think so.
- Yeah, let's do that.

I'll, I'll have some cream on mine.

- (Lu) Oh, will you?
- Mm-hm.

(email notification)

(melancholy music)

(clicks tongue)
No.

I know Liv's pushing back
at the moment, love, but...

don't worry.

I told you I'd protect her,
and, I will.

(birds chirping)

(soft tense music)

So, how long are you going
to Florida for, then?

Oh.
(chuckles)

As long as I possibly can.

What are your plans
for Christmas, Santa?

Well, you know...

No.

(sighs)
I'm going up north

where Santa belongs. You happy now?

What? Where are you going?

You go and talk to the Mayor.
I've got some...

paperwork to finish up.

What? Fran...

Hmm.

(Angela) Oh yes.
(chuckles)

Our council meetings
can get rather lively.

Yeah, well, that's one word for it.

Look, Elaine and I
both want the same thing,

what's best for Arden.

Of course, yeah.

(phone beeping)

(Lu) Oh, turning on the lights.

Bet that's quite a big thing
for a Mayor.

Whole town watching you.
Centre of attention.

I can't deny
I was rather looking forward to it.

Yeah, I bet.

So, I'm sure it was upsetting
when Elaine booked Hawke Wilde

to steal your thunder.

Elaine Davies is desperate
for my job next year.

Wintermas is her pathetic attempt

to dazzle the rest of the council
into voting for her.

(Angela) That woman is
utterly ruthless.

She abandoned her own child
to marry a millionaire,

and then left him
two years later for the cash.

(laughing)
We call her Lady Macbeth.

- (laughing continues)
- Oh.

Is that why you're trying
to embarrass her?

What do you mean?

Well, the leaks to the press,
and the faked emails.

That's not me. Look, I can't deny,

I'd love to see the woman fail.

But Arden wouldn't blame Elaine
if Wintermas was a disaster.

They'd blame the Mayor.

(message notification)

(Elaine) Our engineer found it
like this first thing.

- Found what?
- The ice bar!

- (Frank and Lu) Oh.
- It'll take two days to re-freeze.

(Lu) Yeah, look, that's,
that's been cut clean through.

Looks like our Voice In The Dark is
a teetotaller.

- Yes.
- (chuckles)

Oh.

And when I got to the office
this morning,

this was under the door.

(suspenseful music)

"Ready for your day of reckoning?
The Voice In The Dark."

What we need is
some CCTV footage of last night.

I'll have a word with George,
the newsagent.

He's paranoid about the kids
nicking his sweets.

(Frank) He's got cameras
everywhere.

Oh, hello.

Hi, are you the private detectives?

Guilty as charged.
(chuckles)

I'm Frank Hathaway.
This is Sebastian Brudenell.

- And I'm, I'm Lu Shakespeare. Hi.
- How can we help?

Um, someone did that
to the front of my house,

and I need to find out who.

Oh, what a shame. Looks like
it would have been lovely.

Yes, yes it was, yeah.

The police don't seem
that interested so I thought you...

Well, we're happy to help.

Yeah, although, I should warn you

we are actually already working
on another case.

That's all right, uh,
Sebastian can take this one.

- Sebastian?
- It's...

If it's all right
with you, Sebastian.

- Absolutely.
- Great.

Yeah, we're training him up, yeah.

He's gonna make full partner
soon, isn't that right, Lu?

Oh...
(chuckles nervously)

Would you mind just waiting
in reception for me, Mr...

- Devonport.
- (Lu) Devonport. Thank you. Sorry.

Thanks.

What is going on?

You do realise I've never actually
had my own case?

Exactly. It's time for you
to step up to the plate.

(Frank) I mean, me and Lu
aren't gonna be here forever,

are we?

And that is, of course,
unless you think

you're not up to it.

- I'm up to it.
- Good lad. Don't let me down.

(whispers)
What is happening?

I think Frank wants you
to replace him.

- What?
- Yeah.

There was something
he wasn't telling me earlier.

Well, now I know what it is.

He's leaving us.

It's gonna be you and me
from now on.

- (melancholy music)
- (sighs)

- There you go, Sebastian.
- Oh, thank you.

So, have you worked on, uh,
many cases like this before?

- Hundreds.
- (Rob) Mm-hm.

- You're in very safe hands.
- Fantastic.

- So, um...
- (Rob) Would you like me to...

Yes, thank you.
(chuckles, clears throat)

- Who's Amy?
- My, uh, late wife.

Christmas was her favourite day
of the year and Liv's, too.

So, when Amy died, I decided
to make it Christmas every day.

- That was five years ago.
- Five years? Gosh.

Yeah, I, I still love it
as much as ever.

And your daughter?
(chuckles)

Yep, yep. She loves it too.
Uh, deep down.

So...
(clears throat)

who do you think did this?

(huffs)

I, I honestly don't know anyone
cruel enough.

But, um, I will not be cowed.

The turkey's in the oven, as usual.
You will join us for lunch?

- Uh, yes, why not?
- Wonderful. Hi Matt!

(clears throat)
Been trying to get Matt over

ever since he moved in.
But he's a very busy man.

Now, um, while you analyse
the crime scene,

can I tempt you
to a mince pie and a cr*cker?

Sure. Thank you.

Excuse me. Sebastian Brudenell,
Private Investigator.

- Might I have a quick word?
- (Matt) Sure.

Um, great. So...

- Have you come about the damage?
- That's right.

Okay. Well, I'm not sure
if it's relevant but I did see

someone outside Rob's house
last night, about midnight.

Great. Midnight. Uh-huh.

Oh, uh, can you, uh, describe them?

Gosh, well, it was dark
and they were wearing a hood

so I couldn't see the face.

But on balance, I'd say
they were probably female.

- That's very helpful. Thank you.
- Good luck.

It's really good, isn't it,
that George from the Newsagent

gave us the footage.

Yeah, yeah. You can always, uh,
always rely on George.

(Lu) Oh.

Looks like the Voice In The Dark

has been blabbing
to the press again.

It says here, "An unnamed insider
has described Wintermas,

the vision of Council Head
Elaine Davies,

as an expensive, chaotic shambles
led by a ruthless bully." Ouch.

- Look.
- Oh. Caught in the act.

Um, they would be,
if we could see their face.

(sighs)

- Oh. You've forgotten something.
- Oh?

- Right.
- Yes.

Oh, yes, that is a strong look.
Right, I'll go and pop on a carol.

- All right, sweetheart?
- Hello, I'm Sebastian.

I'm here about the damage.

I know.

Um. Must be fun,
having Christmas every day, hmm?

But I suppose it could wear thin
after a while.

What do your friends say
when they come round?

They don't.

So, who did it then?

Well, a witness says it's a female.

And it's clearly someone
who wants your dad to stop.

- It wasn't me.
- Okay.

I would never do anything like that
to my dad.

(Christmas carol playing
in background)

What did you just say to her?

I asked her if she was involved
with the vandalism.

- What?
- (Sebastian) Um...

I'm sorry, I just...

Clearly, she wants you to ease off
on the Christmas thing, so...

That... you have no idea
what Liv has been through,

what we've both been through.

You do realise
she's partially sighted?

Um, no, I, I didn't know that.

Please, just leave our house

and go and find out
who actually did this.

(suspenseful music)

Hello. What are you doing?

Well, I found these.
Any idea how they got here?

Well, you're the detective,

but I imagine the culprit
put it there to hide her tracks.

Unless you're accusing me?

Are you?

(Frank laughs)
Excellent.

Hang on,
let's get this straight, right.

So, in under an hour,

you've managed to upset
a partially sighted school girl,

alienate everyone
involved with the case,

including the client?

- I'm glad you think it's funny.
- (chuckles)

Oh, don't worry, Seb,
it will be fine.

Remember her first case?
(sobs)

Yeah, and now look at me.

Could run the place
on my own, eh Frank?

Do you want some advice
from an old hand?

Please.

Don't be too hasty.

You know, just be nice to people
and take your time.

Poppycock. When you see
an opportunity, you seize it.

Huh? Grab the reindeer
by the antlers.

(chuckles)
You snooze, you lose.

Right, so "take your time"
and "dive right in"? Thanks.

I'm gonna go put
those pearls of wisdom into action.

(sniffs)

Oh, incoming.
Uh, Tim Wetherall on your six.

(Lu) Oh.

What's he doing
talking to Martin Philips?

What, the journalist?

That's been reporting

- the Wintermas leaks.
- The Wintermas leaks.

Hi, Mr Wetherall?

We're private investigators.

Elaine Davies hired us to identify
the Wintermas saboteur.

- Oh, right. Hello.
- Hi.

Uh, is he a friend of yours,
uh, Martin Phillips?

I'm not sure
that's any of your business.

Hmm, I'm not sure
that Elaine Davies would agree,

Mr "Unidentified Insider."

Look, Elaine and I disagree
on a few things.

Well, quite a lot
of things, actually.

Well, why not tell her to her face?

Ah, because you want to be Mayor
just as must as she does.

And if Wintermas is a success,
she'll be a shoe in.

I've accepted, rather late in life,

that it's the ruthless
who claim the spoils.

Uh, so if you can't beat them,
sabotage the festival. Is that it?

I'm not the Wintermas saboteur.

I've spoken to Martin Philips
a couple of times.

But that's all I've done. Honestly.

Okay, so where were you last night?

Oh, I was working
down on my allotment.

What, in the dark?

(suspenseful music)

I was with someone.

Hmm.

Last night?

Well, I was here, working.

All-nighter, I'm afraid.

We've, we've spoken
to Tim Wetherall.

Yeah, he's told us everything.

I mean,

what you do in your private life,
it's, it's none of our business.

All we're interested in
is finding out

who's trying to sabotage Wintermas.

But in order to do that,
we do need you to confirm

that you were with Tim,
all of last night.

And again, like I said,
there's no details necessary.

It's not like...

Look...

(inhales sharply)
this morning,

on my way to the lavatory
at approximately 8am,

I saw a young man
outside Elaine's office door.

(Angela) Only saw him from behind.

But he was pushing a letter
under her door.

So, I've got us a list
of all the male staff members

under the age of 40

who were in Town Hall
before 8am this morning.

Which means
that one of those 15 men...

is our Voice In The Dark.

- Good work, Lu.
- Thanks.

You getting anywhere?

Well, I found out

that Rob's neighbour, Matt,
is an IT security expert.

- And?
- That's it.

- (message notification)
- Oh.

- Uh, Elaine wants an update.
- Mm.

Time to break the news
that her deputy is a Judas.

Arden Council.

Can't be him, surely.

"You snooze, you lose."

- (doorbell rings)
- (classical music playing inside)

Uh, hello. I've come...
(clears throat)

I've come to apologise.

(Sebastian) Yeah. May I?

(classical music playing)

- (Sebastian) Hi.
- Sebastian.

Rob's asked me to repair these.

Right. Um, look,
I just wanted to say sorry.

To both, actually, for earlier.
I think I was a bit impulsive.

Apology accepted.

Do you still think
my daughter did it?

No, I don't.

Um, sorry, Matt.
Can I just use your loo?

Upstairs, straight ahead.

Thanks.

(suspenseful music)

(footsteps approaching)

What are you doing?

(Sebastian) You're the one
who's been sabotaging Wintermas.

You are the Voice In The Dark.

He's doing it again.
Just randomly accusing people.

He's also the one
who defaced your house, Rob.

What?

Look at the paint
on his fingernails.

Matt?

You can't ruin this!

- Ruin what?
- Give me your phones!

Don't!

Matt! Look, whatever's going on,
we can talk about it.

Open this door! Do you hear me?
Well, stand back.

(grunts)
I can't open.

(Rob) Help! Up here! Hello!

(classical music
playing more loudly)

What now, Sherlock?

(Elaine) So, Tim Wetherall admits
that he's the leak

but he denies
that he's the Voice In The Dark?

(Lu) Yes.

(Frank) He's got an alibi
for last night.

(Elaine) Which is?

(Lu) Um, he and the Mayor
were working late.

Yeah, they were, uh,
pulling an all-nighter.

Together.

- Working on what?
- Private stuff.

Extracurricular activities.

You know,
really flinging themselves into it.

Lady Bracknell
and that wet blanket?

Oh, uh...

That's an image I can never unsee.

Right, so Hawke Wilde
will be switching the lights on

in five hours.

So you've got five hours
to catch this lunatic,

and stop them ruining everything.

- Right?
- Right.

- Do we got time for a mulled wine?
- No!

- Thanks for this.
- It's not my fault.

No? First, you accuse my daughter.

Then you go all Columbo
accusing Matt

while he's standing
right beside me.

And then you do absolutely nothing
while he takes us both hostage.

When you put it like that,
I've totally messed up, haven't I?

(breathes deeply)

What are Frank and Lu gonna say?
(breathes deeply)

"I need a box of biscuits,
a box of mixed biscuits,

and a biscuit mixer.
I need a box of biscuits..."

(shouts)
What the hell are you doing now?

I'm doing what I do
before I go on stage.

Rum baba Halibut!

You see,
I'm not a detective, really.

- (grunts)
- You're an, you're an,

you're an actor?

"I am confident!
I am amazing! I am me!"

(Sebastian)
"I am confident! I am amazing..."

- Oh, fantastic.
- (Sebastian) "...I am confident."

(Sebastian)
"I am amazing. I am me."

(dial tone)

(dial tone)

(phone ring, vibrates)

- (dial tone)
- (phone ringing)

(beeps)

(woman over phone)
Alpha Services. Can I help you?

(in deep voice)
Hi. This is Zac.

Personal assistant to Elaine Davies
at Arden Council.

I have an urgent message
for Hawke Wilde.

Your bosses seriously wanna
make you a partner?

Not after this shambles,
they won't.

(sighs)

I've let them down,
and I've let you down. I'm sorry.

Yeah.

You're talking to someone
who screws up on a daily basis.

I mean,
look how wrong I was about Matt.

What are you doing?

Trying to work out
what the hell he's up to.

Yeah.

That's Matt's dad.

He was the vicar round here.
Pretty close.

(Sebastian)
He died a year ago today.

That's got to be tough.

Still, no excuse, is it?

Um, I suppose that's his mum.

Uh, yeah.
Yeah, his mum died when he was ten.

Same age as Liv when...
when my Amy passed.

Which makes it even harder

to understand
why he'd want to upset her.

Olivia still has her dad.

Maybe part of Matt is jealous
about that?

"One of you will prove
a shrunk panel,

and like green timber warp, warp."

- What's that, The Bible?
- "As You Like It."

(Sebastian)
Touchstone talking about marriage.

- Right.
- How did Matt's father die?

Uh, fell from the roof of a church
trying to remove a neon Santa.

Parish Council had put it up there
against his wishes.

(Rob) Tragic. And bizarre.

Right. A neon Santa
and you didn't feel the need

to mention that. But no, it's fine.

This is starting to make sense.

(distant alarm beeping)

What's that noise?
That's my smoke alarm.

Oh, Christmas dinner! Oh, dear God.

- (suspenseful music)
- (Rob) Olivia! Fire!

(banging on door)
Matt! Help us!

Fire!

(smoke alarm beeping)

- (sniffs)
- (suspenseful music continues)

She's going to die!

I'm supposed
to be looking after her

and she's going to die!

What have I done?

(Rob) Help! Someone, please!

- (alarm beeping)
- (coughing)

(Rob) Oh! Thank goodness for that.

She's out.

There's a bottle of water in a bag
by my desk, in case you need it.

No, no. What I need, Matt,
is to see my daughter.

She could have died because of you.

This is all to do with your dad,
isn't it, Matt?

His beliefs, his anniversary.

My father couldn't bear seeing

the true meaning of Christmas
being lost.

You think he'd have disapproved
of Wintermas.

- He would have loathed it.
- Okay, but, to take it this far,

- to put Olivia in danger.
- His memory is being desecrated!

- (kicks on door)
- (gulps)

By who? By whom? Elaine Davies?

Matt? Matt!

Come back here! Uh...
The man is s a psychopath.

He seems to think that Wintermas is
some kind of personal attack

against his dad.

- (Rob) Oh, I don't believe this.
- What?

(Rob) He's abandoning us.

"Red lorry, yellow lorry.
Red lorry, yellow lorry.

Red lorry, yellow lorry.
Red lorry, yellow lorry."

(Sebastian) Sebastian's busy.

Since brevity is the soul of wit,
please leave a short message.

Not picking up.
Not calling us back.

This just isn't like him, Frank.

I'm sure he'll be fine.

(knocks on door)

- (Frank) Uh, hello. Can we help?
- I can't find my dad.

His name's Rob Devonport.

(suspenseful music)

(clicks tongue)

First, I nearly k*lled Olivia.

And now, she's gonna think
I've abandoned her.

What kind of a useless father am I?

I promised Amy
I would keep our daughter safe.

So you make every day
like Christmas?

It's a scary world.

There are crazy people
like Matt out there.

But for a kid, at Christmas,
everything is wonderful.

You, um, sound a bit like my mum.

She was terrified of me moving
to London for drama school.

Who's totally convinced
I'd be mugged,

or stabbed, or kidnapped by aliens.

Anyway, she let me go.

You know what?
I had the time of my life.

(Sebastian) I reckon
all she ever really wanted

was to see me happy.

Your daughter just coped
with a house fire, all by herself.

Maybe she's more resilient
than you think.

(softly)
Yeah.

(Frank)
It's hardly one of Banksy's best.

Ready? Come on.

(sighs)

There's someone outside.

- (Sebastian) That's Frank. Frank!
- (Rob) Hello! Help! Up here!

- (Sebastian) Look up. Look up!
- (Rob) Up!

(knocks on door)

He'll realise
something's not right.

Oh, great.

(Sebastian) What? No! Come back!

We are never getting out of here!

(Rob groans in frustration)

- He's just not getting back.
- I'd better call Keeler.

This is your fault, you know.

You forced Sebastian
to take this case

even though it's obvious
he wasn't ready.

Well, you didn't leave me
with much choice.

Me? What are you talking about?

You know
what I'm talking about, deserter.

Deserter?
(chuckles softly)

There's only one deserter here
and that's...

- You.
- Is that a Santa hat?

(Frank) Well, there's no one in.

(suspenseful music)

Right, that's it, I'm grabbing
the reindeer by the antlers.

Woah, don't be too hasty.

Yeah, well I might have hit you
by accident.

(mutters)

- (Sebastian) Oh, thank God.
- Oh, Sebastian!

- We've been worried sick.
- She has. I told her you'd be fine.

- Oh.
- (Sebastian) This might be

the most wonderful moment
of my life.

- Oh, Liv! Oh, I'm so sorry.
- So am I.

- You found your vandal then.
- Oh, I found a lot more than that.

But please,
let's get out of this prison first.

(melancholy music)

- (Lu and Frank) Bye.
- Bye.

So this Matt
is sabotaging Wintermas

because he is grieving?

He claims that Elaine
is disrespecting his late father.

But what I can't work out is
why it feels so personal.

- Is that his dad?
- (Sebastian) Yes.

- (Lu) And his mum?
- (Sebastian) Mm-hm.

(Sebastian) She died
when he was little.

Mum's not dead.

I know that she'll,
she'll always be with you.

- No, I don't think she's dead.
- You know, in here.

No, Matt's mum,
Mat's mum is not dead.

I recognise her hair.

- No way.
- So you're right. This is personal.

(phone ringing)

Hello.

We've identified
The Voice In The Dark.

- Oh, thank goodness for that.
- It's Matt Jacobs.

He's your son,
isn't he, Mrs Davies?

Look, we don't know
what he's planning.

- But if I were you...
- I'll take it from here,

Mr Hathaway. And, don't worry.

You'll be paid in full.

Angela did say
that Elaine abandoned her child.

Maybe for Matt,
it really was like she was dead.

All I know is
that someone needs to stop him,

and that someone is
the three of us.

(Christmas carol playing
in background)

- Right, that's nice.
- Mm.

(laughs)

- Where have you been?
- Something came up.

It's five to eight.
Where is everyone?

- They must have heard the news.
- What news?

- About you cancelling Hawke Wilde.
- What?

According to the Twitter,

you told him
it was "too dangerous" to attend.

I don't believe this.

Well, who's gonna turn on
the lights? Angela. As Mayor...

I'm no-one's reserve, dear.
This is your car crash.

You can clear up the mess.

Ah, so...

You don't mind me
telling your husband

about your sad little fling
with Mr Bean here?

- I mean, I don't want to, but...
- (chuckles softly)

Nice try, Cruella. I confessed
to my husband this afternoon.

Oh.

It's called a, a guilty conscience.
Look it up.

(chuckles)

(microphone reverb)

One, two, one, two.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

(Elaine) It's wonderful to see
so many of you here tonight.

Now, as some of you may know,
unfortunately,

Hawke Wilde can't be here
with us tonight.

But fortunately, I'm here.
So it gives me great pleasure...

Five, four, three, two, one!

(power shutdown)

♪ Once in Royal David's City ♪

♪ Stood a lowly cattle shed ♪

♪ Where a mother ♪

♪ Laid her baby ♪

♪ In a manger for his bed ♪

♪ Mary was that mother mild ♪

♪ Jesus Christ, her little child ♪

(blows air)

Love you, Dad.

How could you, Matt?

What? Be selfish?
Inflict pain on my own family?

You knew Dad would detest this
with every fibre of his being.

Today of all days.

Haven't you hurt us enough?

(Christmas carol starts playing)

- I'm so sorry, Matt.
- I only wish that were true.

- No more Christmas every day, okay?
- Are you sure?

It's time to move on.

We'll make it a good one
on the 25th though, yeah?

I promise.

(both laughing)

(girl) Olivia!

- Are they your friends?
- Yeah.

Don't be back too late, yeah?

- I love you, Dad.
- I love you too.

So here you go my "deer."
It's a rein-beer.

(Frank laughs)

Hey. I'm
the Santa of attention here.

You two. No elf control.

- A-ha! Very good.
- (Frank chuckles)

- Well, cheers then.
- (Frank) Cheers.

Here's to our boy
doing his first case on his own.

I never doubted it. Well done.

Do you think
he's ready to take over?

I do, yeah.

I can't believe
you're leaving us, Frank.

- What?
- I told him.

Hang on. She's the one
who's running away to Florida.

- What do you mean?
- She's got a one-way ticket.

- (Sebastian) What? Did you?
- Well, yeah but...

Oh, great. So you're both quitting.

- (Lu) What?
- (Sebastian) Wonderful!

No. No, I've only got
a one-way ticket

because I'm stopping off
in New York

on the way home
with a different airline.

What, so you're not leaving?

No, why would I want
to leave you guys?

You're...

You're my everything.

I thought
you were training Sebastian up

to replace you.

What? What, to replace me?
(laughs)

- That's hilarious.
- Why is that hilarious?

Yeah, actually, why is that funnier
than him replacing me?

- Yeah, it's not funny.
- Hmm.

Lu, don't go to Florida,
let's all have Christmas together.

Oh, that would really be good fun,
wouldn't it?

Oh, but you are going up north.

Well, I'm not really, uh...
I just said I was going up north

because I didn't want it
to seem like

I had nowhere to go at Christmas.

Really? Oh, you great big wally.

(clicks tongue)

Well, I mean, it is a flexi ticket.

Yeah, I could probably put
my winter break off.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah!

- Yes!
- (Lu and Frank) Aw.

(Sebastian) This is going to be
snow amazing.

(Frank and Lu chuckle)

(Frank) Now, I'm not watching
the Queen's Speech.

(Lu) Yes you are,
I love the Queen's speech.

(Sebastian)
Ooh, we could play charades.

- (Lu gasps)
- (Frank) No, we can't.

- (Sebastian) Why not?
- (Frank) Be-Claus I said so.

(Frank) And I have
the final sleigh.

(Lu laughs)

(closing theme music)