01x01 - Why Lie

[bunniefuu]

-Just waiting for Casey.

No sign of her yet.

Okay.

Yeah, that works.

I have some stuff I can put up.

I can work with that.

Bedding, for sure.

I have part of my
life in several bags.

Some of the most priceless
things that I have.

-Why?

-Some of the only things
I have left of Caylee.

-This one.

-Casey, why not just do the
interview at your house?

-Um, I like my privacy.

Um, I also have a roommate

whose privacy I take
very, very seriously.

And that's also my safe space

away from the outside world,

away from anything scary.

This was up in my mom's house.

Caylee was just a
few months old here.

I've had this up since 2005.

And it's gone with me
everywhere I've gone.

So...

This...

This is one of my
favorite pictures

because she just had this
look of angst on her face,

like, "You're
stopping me for what?

To take my picture again."

Her Princess Leia
wig. Two-layered tutu.

She's actually wearing butterfly
wings that you can't see.

The pink cowboy boots.
I let her dress herself.

She's running around screaming,

having the time of her
life on my mom's porch.

And I asked her to stop
so I could get a picture.

And she does this. This.

Makes this face.

And then I go, "Okay, bye."
And runs around again.

Like the little fairy
princess that she was.

Thankfully, I have things
like this to look back at,

things like this.

These moments that
I had with her.

I was with her
when she did this.

We broke probably every
single one of these crayons.

Those moments were
happy, innocent.

There was no trauma.

There was no darkness
in those moments.

And too much of her memory
is surrounded by that now.

-Our top story this morning.

A 2-year-old girl is missing,

and detectives say her
mother has provided them

with more lies than information.

-Casey Anthony reported her
3-year-old daughter missing

in mid-July.

-The child was reported
missing 31 days late.

-Investigators said she'd
given them bogus information

about her employer and where
she dropped off the child.

-Casey kept on going
out and having fun

while her daughter was missing.

-Caylee's remains were
hidden in the woods.

-Mother Casey Anthony has
been charged with her m*rder.

-Caylee died because
her mother decided

that the life that she
wanted was more important.

-Justice for Caylee!

-This is the Super
Bowl of trials.

-The most famous m*rder
case since O.J. Simpson.

-The jury is entering
the courtroom right now.

This is the Casey Anthony
trial verdict coming back.

-As to the charge of
first-degree m*rder,

we, the jury, find the
defendant not guilty.

-No regard at all for that baby.

What is wrong with these people?

-The devil is dancing tonight.

-Casey Anthony has
enemies worldwide now.

-She better start buying
a condo in Zimbabwe

because there's
nowhere in Florida

this woman would
be able to live.

-Casey Anthony has stayed
out of the public eye.

She has not done a single
on-camera interview

since she was acquitted
in her m*rder trial.

-Casey's never told her story.

There's questions like,

well, does she have
something to hide?

-She completely disappeared.

And actions speak
louder than words.

-If you could speak to Casey
now, what would you say to her?

-Listen, I think I
would just ask her,

"Look, just tell us why."

-Why what?

-Why you k*lled your daughter.

-All right, Katie,
do you want to slate?

-I'm about to.

-Okay.

Casey interview. ABC
marker, soft sticks.

-Why talk to me now

when you're not getting
creative control?

-I just need someone to
be willing to listen.

And I've spent the last 10 years

making sure that
I knew who I was.

That I started to
cope with this loss.

And that I had something to
say to make my daughter proud,

but also to honor her properly.

And this is part of that.

It's hard because a thousand
questions go through my head.

I'm responsible for
answering every...

Everyone in the
world's questions

about her, about what happened.

I still don't know.

- What?
- What happened to Caylee.

I know what I'm afraid of.

I know what eats at me at night.

I know what eats at
me day after day.

Because I know what
I lived through.

- All right. Where are we going?
- That way. Only one way.

-All right, let's do it.

- Oh, great.
- I've never seen any.

I've been coming
here for over a year.

I've never seen an
alligator. We're fine.

-How often do you
do a hike like this?

-I come here quite a bit.
I have a few other places

I like to go to
that are secluded.

There usually aren't people.

I've had really bad social
anxiety for the last decade.

Going to crowded
places by myself

is not something I feel
comfortable doing anymore.

I typically take
pictures when I'm here.

-Casey, what's your tattoo?

-This? It's peonies
and half a mandala.

Symbolizes growth, rebirth.

I have fought so hard
for a normal life.

My defense team was very
adamant about making sure

that I was able to have a
fresh start after the trial.

I didn't receive any
help or assistance

from my biological family.

I was given a little bit of
money from my defense team

to start to get on my feet.

They're not just my legal team,
but my surrogate family here.

-I found a little apartment just
north of my house downtown by...

-Pat McKenna was lead
investigator during my case.

I've been working
for Pat McKenna

as his research assistant
for 10 1/2 years.

-Okay, so I guess we'll
make a file and printout.

-Give me two seconds and
I'll see if I can Word search

the document and find it.

I've worked a lot of
cases over the years.

It's the whole reason I'm
doing what I'm doing now

to pay forward everything
that was done for me.

I've spent the last 10 1/2 years

doing primarily
criminal defense work

because I don't ever want to
see someone be pigeonholed

by not only law
enforcement, but the media,

be railroaded like I was.

I like my life.

At least there are moments
where I feel like I'm not alone,

where those holes in my
heart that will never go away

feel a little bit smaller.

Caylee was born
in August of 2005.

I was 19.

The few pictures that I
do have of me with her

that other people took was
when she was first born.

That was the best decision
that I ever made in my life,

was having a kid,
was becoming a mom.

She was perfect.

The only person in this world

that matters to me
still is my daughter.

But I'm still defending the
fact that I didn't hurt her.

I live it every single day.

And no one can ever tell me

I should just get over the fact
that my daughter isn't here

and I've been blamed
for her being gone.

-My name is John Allen.

At the time of the Anthony case,

I was a sergeant at the Orange
County Sheriff's Office,

and I supervised the
Anthony investigation.

It was an odd story.

Certainly, the
night this happened,

nobody thought it would turn out
the way that it's turned out.

On July 15, 2008, Cindy
Anthony, Caylee's grandmother,

called 911.

-What we believe we have at
this point is a 3-year-old

that's been missing for a
month. Didn't make sense.

I mean, you know, usually,
when a child goes missing,

parents report it right away.

-So here we are at
Hopespring Drive,

the Anthony home.

My name's Eric Edwards.

One of the homicide
investigators came to my desk

and said, "Are you aware of what
John Allen and Yuri have going?"

That night, Yuri Melich

was the on-call missing
persons investigator.

He spent a great deal
of time with Casey

trying to collect information

that may lead to the
location of Caylee.

At that point, Yuri affords
Casey an opportunity to take him

to several locations
in the Orlando area

in an effort to try to determine
where the child may be.

-He drove her to the
apartment where Casey said

she had dropped Caylee off.

There was no Zenaida Gonzalez
that lived at the place.

In fact, that apartment
had been vacant for months.

And of course, we
learned pretty quickly

that she was lying
about a lot of things.

In Yuri's interview with her,

Casey said she worked
at Universal Studios.

And, so, that morning,
Detective Melich went

to Universal and
found out that she...

That she wasn't an employee,
she didn't work there.

So I told him to stay there
and I would go pick her up

and I would bring
her to Universal

and we would see what she
would do, how she would react,

thinking, at that point,

she would admit that
she was making it up

and she didn't
really work there.

But that's not the
reaction we got.

She said, "Oh, yeah, fine."

We walk into the HR building

where she has told
us she has an office,

and she's kind of
waving at people,

and they are waving back.

I mean, but they're like, you
know, they're waving like...

You could tell by
their expressions

that, you know, she doesn't
work in the building.

She's not somebody known
to the people in there.

We actually turn down a hallway
where there's nowhere to go.

It's a dead-end hall.

Casey turned and looked at us

and said, "I don't
really work here, so..."

She was arrested
for lying to Yuri

during the course of that
portion of the investigation.

-Why do you think Casey
felt the need to lie?

-Why do I think she
felt the need to lie?

I mean, listen, I...

Look, I think she
k*lled her daughter

and she didn't get in trouble,
she didn't want to get caught.

Certainly that... that
would be a motive to lie.

-Casey Anthony
held her head high

after being arrested yesterday,

charged with child neglect
and lying to the authorities.

So far, investigators had
no luck locating that friend

who was supposedly caring
for the young girl.

And it's just one more
element in a strange story

that has even the woman's
own mother concerned.

-Maybe she's confused,
maybe she's sick.

Maybe something's happened
that she doesn't know.

Hello?

-Hello. This is a
free call from...

-Casey.

- an inmate from the Orange
County Correctional Center.

-That's the first time Casey
called her family from the jail.

Did you get the impression
that she was as upset

and worried about her
daughter as her mother

and her friend were?

Um...

I think
this is her being herself.

-I can remember where
I was in my home office

when I saw that there was
this woman taken into custody,

child neglect, and a
child missing for 30 days,

not reported.

At that time, I was an
investigative reporter

at WKMG in Orlando.

I wanted to find out
more about this family.

George and Cindy.

Early on, they were
grandparents who wanted to know,

they said, where their
granddaughter was.

-I will walk every
inch of this Earth

and open every door and
knock on every door.

And I will look in
every nook and cranny...

until I find her.

-You know, they
presented to the public

as people who didn't
know what happened

and wanted to find Caylee.

- If you could wear this...
- I would, I would love to.

- I would deeply appreciate it.

-And then you have this
emotional outpouring

on behalf of Caylee.

-Here are the facts.
Caylee is missing.

-100 showed up at the
Anthonys' tonight to pray.

-I've just been
keeping in contact

with this story every day.

She's just a
precious little angel

that needs support
from all around.

-Because of social media,

this took on a life of its own,

where you had these pictures
of this beautiful little girl.

You can remember the
video of Caylee singing.

- Do you hear her?
- As a reporter,

my job changed because it
was, like, all-consuming...

Find the next Casey
Anthony story.

Because that is what people
were watching the news for.

-At that time, we're able to
re-create what Casey was doing

and thinking and who
she was talking to.

The sheriff's office did a
pretty thorough investigation

of her phones, so we made
a public-records request.

One of Casey's
former boyfriends,

Ricardo Morales,
told investigators

that he got a message from Casey
saying that she didn't feel

she could participate
fully with her friends

because she was a mother.

In early May, she's having a
Facebook chat with another guy

and tells him that, "I'm
going crazy over here.

At least the kid is passed out."

-Tonight, police named
the mom, Casey Anthony,

a person of interest.

Where is 2-year-old Caylee?

-The public thought that Casey
didn't want to be a mother.

We don't typically think
of mothers as murderers.

'Cause it was like, "Wait,
did she m*rder her daughter?"

-Good afternoon.

We found more inconsistencies
in the mother's story.

So we continue to look
for witnesses and people

that may have
additional information.

We went back and we
listened to the 911 tapes,

and we hear Cindy's
frantic voice.

-She's saying that Casey's car

smells like there's
been a dead body in it.

-There's been some
testimony about a car

that Ms. Anthony had the use of.

-It was a white Pontiac, and
it was initially recovered

at their residence
on Hopespring Drive.

We brought it in to
our forensics bay.

-When we walked into
the forensics bay,

it was clear to all of us,

if you've smelled
that odor before,

it's pretty unmistakable.

We brought cadaver dogs in.

The dog will indicate to
the handler in some way

that maybe a dead
body has been there.

-He alerted to the odor
of human decomposition.

- In the trunk of that car?
- Yes, ma'am.

-This pointed us

in the direction that
this child is dead.

And not only was she dead,

she had been in the
trunk of Casey's car.

And, so... And, obviously, we
couldn't say that for sure,

but it seemed pretty likely.

At this point,
Casey was in jail.

And we all believed that we
arrested the right person.

-Here we go.

-Casey Anthony walked out of
a Florida jail Friday morning.

The mother of missing
toddler Caylee Anthony

was released on a $500,000 bond.

-Hey, back off, you
guys! Let her through!

- Get out of our neighborhood!
- We live here.

-Tonight, the search for Caylee

reaches a boiling point,
as you can see and hear.

Neighbors fighting back
protesters demanding

Casey Anthony's return to jail.

Protesters feel Casey is
hiding a horrible truth.

-What?

-She has completely
removed herself

from any normal emotion of
a mother missing a child.

And that is the most
disturbing part for me.

-There was a lot of
anger at Casey Anthony.

How could she not call
the police for 30 days?

What was Casey doing
during that time?

-When I was asked to
assist on this case,

we interviewed friends,
family members.

The impression that
I started to get

was the existence of Caylee

was probably interfering
with Casey's desire

to be more socially active
with people of her own age.

From conducting
these interviews,

the day that I think whatever
terrible happened to Caylee

was June 16th.

And the last person other
than Casey to see Caylee,

that we're aware of,
was George Anthony.

-And looking at her
desktop calendars,

Casey was much busier and
much more socially active

after the 16th.

When we looked at the
Photobucket account,

we could see the lifestyle

that she was living during
that period of time.

Partying and hanging out.

During the 31 days,

Casey ended up stealing a
checkbook from a friend,

Amy Huizenga.

Casey was using funds that
did not belong to her.

You know, you see her
going into stores.

No child with her,

not buying things that a mother
would be buying for a child.

Nothing.

I have here that the 3rd of July

is when she gets that
tattoo, "Bella Vita."

That means "the good life."

Your child is missing.

How do you get a tattoo,
like a billboard,

showing the world "I'm
living the perfect life"?

Who does that?

And then, the activity
picked up with Tony Lazzaro.

Tony Lazzaro was Casey
Anthony's boyfriend

at the time that
Caylee went missing.

When they first met, Caylee
was always with Casey.

I just think... boop...
It stopped, you know?

And that being
around the same time

in the time frame where she
started staying with him.

So we interviewed Tony
Lazzaro and friends,

many friends about this.

-My name is Clint House.

I was Tony Lazzaro's
former roommate.

When I first found out
that Caylee was missing,

I was just absolutely
blown away.

It just doesn't make any sense.

In the early beginnings
of the relationship,

Casey would bring Caylee over.

I saw Casey doing
flash cards with her,

teaching her how to say words.

And that just made me

want to be that type of
parent to my own child.

-She always, you
know, had a backpack

with everything
that Caylee needed

whenever she brought her
over to the apartment.

She was such a good mom.

But that month that Caylee...

When we found out that
she had been missing,

Casey showed no indication
that anything was wrong.

She was just living her life.

We were all confused. We were
like, "How is she missing?"

-She did absolutely nothing
in the search for her child.

And that, I will
never forgive her for.

-It was the right
guilty verdict.

I did lie to law enforcement.

I admitted that I lied
to law enforcement.

So I am a convicted
liar. It's the truth.

-And what is your relationship
to truth and lying today?

-I'm a little too honest.
I'm blunt. I'm direct.

Almost painfully so.

-Today, would you say
Casey is an honest person?

- Yes.
- How honest?

-I think she's very
truthful today.

I trust her so much

that I trust her
with my research,

with my invoices.

-So in the past 10 years,
you've never caught her

in an out-and-out lie?
- Never.

Not in 10 years, or however
long it's been, yeah.

I'm pretty good
at catching lies.

It's kind of my job.

And she's very honest.

-I lost my entire life
when I lost Caylee.

She was the only
thing that truly

and honestly mattered to me.

I let her dress herself
how she wanted to dress.

I let her eat what she
wanted to eat, within reason.

She was thriving.

Well, Miss Life of the Party.

It's your party, you
can do what you want to.

I was always there.
I was a part of that.

I got to see how infectious
she was in everyone's lives.

-She was just happy and fun,

and she would just light
up a room, you know?

She was big brown eyes and
just the cutest little smile.

My name is Annie Goderwis,

and I was once best
friends with Casey Anthony.

I have "Caylee Marie"
tattooed on my left shoulder.

-Why did you decide to do that?

-Um, because she deserves it.

She deserves to live
with me forever.

I brought a couple of my
high-school yearbooks.

There's Casey.

This is when she
was in 10th grade.

She started dating
a friend of mine.

We became close
friends very quickly.

I think this picture
was from my birthday.

Casey was a good mom. She
took care of that child.

She loved that baby.

She was always
focused on Caylee.

You know, she was a part of her.
She was everywhere that she was.

-It's very clear, when I
talked to the policemen,

they all very readily tell
me that the motive here

was somebody who wanted
to go out dancing

and was ready to k*ll her child.

-No way.

No way, shape, form.

I don't believe
that for a second.

I understand how
they will say that.

I get it.

That's not the
Casey that I knew.

No way. She didn't
k*ll her child.

Like

All the pictures that circulated
on the news, on social media,

there's a matter of, I would
say, maybe half-a-dozen pictures

that are from half-a-dozen
different nights

over the span of a
three-year time period.

There's a picture of her
with her head in the toilet.

It was her 21st birthday.

Like, come on. It was
her 21st birthday.

The media made it like
all she wanted to do

was to k*ll her kid
and go out and party.

It's not the Casey that I knew.

She...

was never like the
life of the party.

She didn't go out with
us all that often.

She was your typical mom. I
mean, she loved that child.

We would go places in the car,

and there would be Goldfish
all over Casey's back seat

because, like, the
kid always had food.

She had toys.

Occasionally, Caylee
would let me hold her.

Most of the time, she
just wanted Casey.

She wanted her mom.
She loved her mom.

Until she herself tells
me that she did it,

there's no way, no way
she k*lled that baby.

With Caylee's disappearance,

I think an accident
probably happened.

And I think that she
did what she always did,

and she lied.

When I was friends with Casey,
she lied about everything.

When Casey was
questioned by the police,

she said she dropped Caylee
off at this apartment complex.

Well, I used to live in
that apartment complex.

I think, in her mind,
she wasn't lying.

She had brought
Caylee there before.

She had never dropped her off,
but Caylee had been there.

I'm fairly certain that
she definitely was employed

at Universal at some point,

whether it was, like,
right out of high school

or when she was in high
school, I don't know.

Again, small truths.

-When I lied, during
this and even prior to,

there was always at least
some part of the truth

that was a part of the lie.

I did work at Universal
for a very long time.

And, yeah, Sawgrass Apartments,

that's where Annie
Downing lived.

A kernel of truth
within the lie.

-So, let's go back
to the beginning.

July 16, 2008,

the day that Caylee's
kidnapping is reported.

What are you thinking
and feeling on that call?

There's no emotion.
- There's no nothing.

Nothing.

- Yeah. It's weird.
- It's very weird.

I was so numb during
so much of that.

I did meet someone named
Zenaida Fernandez Gonzalez.

She was a babysitter, was a
nanny... all of that's true.

Was not my nanny. Was
not my babysitter.

That's the official entrance.

So we have to go
around the back.

-So, at the time you're
pulling up here with the cops,

you believe what
about where Caylee is?

-She's okay. That's what I
believed the entire time.

Not just with the cops.

Every day that I sat in jail
up until the day she was found.

Every day.

-Help us understand, why
were you lying to the cops?

-I lied to everyone because
that was my whole life

up to that point.

Acting like everything's okay
but knowing nothing was okay.

I've had years of therapy and...

I'm trying to analyze
my own behavior

and explain my own behaviors.

All of this is a
reaction to trauma.

Since 2008, I was
suppressing those memories.

I remember my interactions
with law enforcement,

but I don't really remember
all of what was said.

Everything had its place on
a shelf and had its own box.

I was trying to put as
much of what was associated

with those memories into those
boxes and locking it away

and putting it
back on the shelf.

Now, saying all of this out
loud for the first time,

the process is
extremely painful.

I remember the detectives
that I was with.

I didn't trust
cops at that point.

I was frightened.
I was scared.

And they go something
along the lines of,

"Oh, so you work here?"

I hadn't worked at Universal

for like a year, year
and a half, easily.

I remember the
detectives walking me

into an interrogation room.

I made myself look crazy

and gave law enforcement
absolutely no reason to believe

or trust anything that I said.

I get why, from an
outside perspective,

all of this just seems so...

Because, even for me,
it still feels that way.

As far as I'm concerned,

there's no justifying
my actions or behavior.

Except to say that...

I was doing what I
was conditioned to do.

Growing up, I lied a lot more
than I ever told the truth

because telling the truth to
anyone in the outside world

didn't happen.

On the surface, my
family was typical.

Mother, father,
son, and daughter.

Your standard middle-class,
White American family.

My mom was a nurse. My
father was a former cop.

When we moved to Florida,
he was in security.

The outside world saw this...
This perfect little family.

And there were moments
of that, for sure.

But that wasn't the reality.

Our life at home was a lie.

Telling the truth, especially
in our house, wasn't allowed.

It all comes back to my dad.

He was a man who was incapable

of ever telling
anyone the truth.

My father wanted
the world to believe

that he was the
patriarch of the family.

That he was
supporting our family

financially and otherwise.

There were so many things
that he didn't want us to see.

My father was trying to
hide that he wasn't working.

My mother was the
true matriarch,

was the sole breadwinner.

She worked 14-to 16-hour days
to not only keep our lights on,

but to keep food on the table.

My mom had found out
that he had taken $60,000

out of her retirement.

He claims, at first, it was
a Nigerian Ponzi scheme,

and then that he had
gambled away the money.

The story kept evolving.

My father was also
lying to hide the fact

that he was unfaithful
to my mother,

to hide the fact that there
were extracurricular activities

he was doing at night.

My mom was trying to again

put on that facade of
this cohesive unit.

It was always that
perfect persona

they wanted to put
out for the public.

Protecting the
family at all costs.

That was the only goal.

Protecting the truth of
what was in our home.

-So, your options
are eggs, fruit.

- Eggs and fruit?
- Eggs and fruit.

Actually will be the first time
I've made breakfast for anyone

other than myself
for a very long time.

-How did you sleep?

-There's no such
thing as good sleep.

Not that I know.

A lot of nights, I
have very clear images

and flashbacks, nightmares.

My nightmare last night,

it was similar to other things
that happened to me growing up.

I don't know if it's
just flooding back

because of going
back through pictures

and more switches being
hit and more trauma.

-What was the
nightmare last night?

-My father was holding
me down and raping me.

That happens again
and again and again.

When I was 8 years old,

my father started to come
into my room at night.

I was physically hurt.

Scared because I
was physically hurt

and I can't tell
Mommy what happened.

She'll get mad at me.
That's what I was told.

With my father, the abuse
one day just stopped

just before my 12th birthday.

My brother started coming in
shortly after I turned 12.

And it stopped around
the time I turned 15.

Wasn't the same thing that
happened with my father.

My brother never r*ped me.
No, no, absolutely not.

But it was close enough.

Close enough where
there was a pattern.

-But you did tell
your mom about Lee.

-I did not.

Not until after I
was already a mom.

Not till I was 19.

-Do you think she knew anyway?

-I've always questioned it.

What you have to
realize about my mom

when I was younger, she
was extremely controlling.

She tried to make sure I dressed
as young as I possibly could,

to look as young as
I possibly could.

It's not just feeling like my
mom wanted to keep me a child.

I feel like she was trying to,

yes, keep me from
being a sexual being.

I had to fit within these
very specific parameters

and be that perfect little girl,

even when I wasn't a
little girl anymore.

She was always trying
to create this image

of what our family should be,
which was not what it was.

I think she was
lying to herself,

trying to keep together
this family unit

that she was
fighting so hard for.

It was just assumed
whatever Mom and Dad said,

son and daughter follow suit.

So, I lied a lot more
than I ever told the truth

because the truth
was too painful

and it was too unreal to
ever describe to someone.

- Inside, it was a mess.
- Keep going.

-Shut up. Please.

- Oh, I'm done.
- Shut up.

-I'm done. Don't ever
tell me to shut up.

-You know something?

I let you explain everything
in as much detail.

-No, don't you
tell me to shut up.

Oh, geez, oh, cow,
George. Come on.

-I think this interview itself

is only further
painting that picture

of what I've described about the
issues within their marriage.

And you can just see.

You can just see that discord
between the two of them.

It's so blatant.

-I didn't take $20
from your wallet.

I didn't take this.
I didn't take that.

What about Casey going into
Caylee's savings account

that I had started with
her and taking money out?

-But, George, Casey
learned by example.

And I...
- Wow. You're... You're really...

-Okay, let's... Wait.

- Please, please.
- No, but I'm telling you,

you lied to me
for several years,

and that's where
our daughter got it.

-Do not personally
attack me on this.

This is not supposed
to be about us.

-I understand that.

-It's not supposed to
be that personal attack.

-She finally calls him out on it

and is finally acknowledging.

Yes, I learned from his
example, completely.

I completely replicated
my father's behavior

during those 31 days.

I watched him lie, manipulate,
take money from people.

I did all of those things.

But for me, it wasn't
to protect myself

because of what I had done.

It was to protect myself
from the outside world

and that judgment of
what had happened to me.

-So why did you take
the money from Amy?

-It was a really shitty mistake.

I used and manipulated all
of the people around me

in an attempt to appear normal,

which was extremely abnormal.

When the most normal thing would
have been to say, "I need help."

But I didn't know
how to say that.

-Casey Anthony says
she was looking

for her missing daughter.

We don't know if that's
true, but we do know this.

Casey got a tattoo.

-You covered up your tattoo.

-Bella vita... That was my
"f*ck you" to my family.

I spent my entire life
protecting our perfect,

beautiful little family

and acting like I had
this enviable life.

And in a lot of ways...

And, again, this is after
going through therapy

and trying to explain why I got
the tattoo in the first place,

especially during
that time period...

Because that was a
subconscious way for me to...

to speak out against all of it.

- Against what?
- My family.

My...

flawed and f*cked-up family

and my flawed and
f*cked-up life.

It was the antithesis of
what my life really was.

The tattoo on the
inside of my arm...

"I hear your voice and all
the sounds of the world."

That also translates to "noise."

That just means I hear
you in everything.

That is my Caylee
tribute tattoo.

Everything about
her was perfect.

These were my sonogram photos.

These were the two that
I asked to have printed.

You can see the outline, perfect
outline of her hand, her nose,

her eyes, her arms,
the bones in her arm.

I was six and a half
months pregnant almost

when they were able to do this.

-Did people know you were
pregnant at that point?

-Um...

It was hard not to tell,

but some of the people closest
to me were telling people

not only that I wasn't pregnant.

I was just sedentary,
had a sedentary position.

That was what my nurse
mother told people.

-Why?

-I don't know.

Maybe she was embarrassed that
her daughter was pregnant.

Um... I don't know.

I was blatantly pregnant
and still saying no

because that's what
we had all agreed to.

Even my co-workers at the time.

And they're like,
"Well, you're pregnant."

I'd kind of hesitate
and go, "What?"

Of course I was pregnant.

But no lie was out of bounds.
No lie was off-limits.

-How did you get
pregnant with Caylee?

-I was r*ped at 18.

-Could your dad have
been the father?

-No, my father is not
the father of my child.

Neither is my brother.

-When I was 18, I
was at a house party,

had a couple beers,

completely lost my memory
because I was drugged.

I woke up with my top on,

my jeans on the floor
with my underwear,

and my bra still
inside of my shirt,

but up over my breasts.

And I was lethargic.

I was extremely disoriented.

And I could feel like
I had had forcible sex.

I was scared,

confused,

full of questions.

Why it happened,
how it happened.

Did I consent? Not consent?

-Did you report
it to the police?

- No.
- Why not?

-I wasn't sure anyone
would believe me.

Because, again, I know
what happens to girls

when they go to a party.

They have a couple drinks.

All the guy needs to say is,

"Yeah, of course,
she wanted to do it.

She wanted to be a part of
it. She was asking for it."

First person that I would have
told would have been my mom,

and would she have believed me?

Would she have blamed me?

-How soon after the r*pe do
you realize you're pregnant?

-Almost immediately.

Six weeks.

When I decided to tell my
parents that I was pregnant,

I told them that Jesse
Grund was the father.

I met and started
dating Jesse Grund

just before I found
out I was pregnant.

-Did you think Jesse
could be the dad?

-Yes, there was a possibility,

at least still in my
head, at the time.

As my pregnancy progressed

and we realized how far
along I actually was,

came to realize that
that wasn't the case.

But I made a very
selfish decision

to not tell Jesse.

I let Jesse believe the
entirety of my pregnancy

that he was the father.

I should have told him what
happened, but I didn't.

At that point, I hadn't told
anyone that I was r*ped.

He got a paternity test.

And even after that,
I never told Jesse

how I got pregnant
in the first place.

I lied and said that it was this
old friend from way back when.

-Caylee's never had a father.

He was a friend of Casey's
that lives out of state.

By the time Caylee was born,

he had already started
another family,

and he passed away
earlier in the year.

-I lied to everyone.

That's what I'm saying,
it's so f*cked up.

It's just years of feeling like

I needed to live a certain
life or show people

I lived a certain life because
I didn't want people to pity me.

And I didn't want
my kid growing up

thinking she was this
product of something so bad

and that I didn't want her.

I don't know how
long I can do this.

I remember these pictures
like they were yesterday.

And it's part of the reason
why it's so hard to look back.

I've missed this.

I miss her every
second of every day.

This is why I can't sit down
and look at these anymore.

It's not because
I don't want to.

It's just it hurts.

Just physically f*cking hurts.

She's still everything to me
and always will be everything.

This is all I have left.

This.

This is all I have left of her.

No parent's supposed
to survive their kid.

This is all I have left.

Oh, God, just...

It just f*cking hurts.

I don't think I can
say that enough.

It just hurts.

I lied, but no one asked why.

No one cared why I lied.

-When Casey was out of jail

from the first time of
her being arrested...

It was before they charged
her with Caylee's m*rder...

I went over there and
I stayed the night.

You know, I-I asked
some questions like,

"Where's Caylee?" You know,
"Where... Like what...

Like, what's going on? Why
didn't you tell anybody?"

"Oh, I'm just doing
what they told me to do.

Just saying what
they tell me to say."

Right.

She did say that,
"They are telling me.

I'm doing what they
tell me to do."

I don't know who
"they" is, though.

-I'm thoroughly embarrassed

by everything that happened,
not only on that day,

but so many of the
days that followed

and the days that led
up to all of this.

It's awful, but...

I wasn't the same
person sitting here

almost 14 years
ago that I am now.

I have a voice now.

I'm not afraid to speak
up against my ab*ser now.

-Why were you lying to the cops?

-I was doing what I was told.

It's really that simple. I
was doing what I was told.

- By?
- My father.

-With regret, I'm here to inform
you that the skeletal remains

found on December 11th

are those of the missing
toddler, Caylee Anthony.

-It appeared that a person
from the Anthony home

taped her face up
with duct tape,

stuffed her in a trash bag,
dumped her in the woods.

-There was no question
in their minds

about whether or not I did
anything to my daughter.

-Everything was against her.
The world was against her.

-You say that you think
she's a psychopath.

- Absolutely.
- I said to Casey,

"We have to really be
able to tell your story."

-I did believe that Casey
was sexually abused,

which is what the other
psychologists heard.

It was like I was brainwashed.

So I know you want to ask me
about the last day she was here,

the last day that I saw her,
the day she disappeared.

I know that's what
it's all leading up to.

Why didn't I make a phone
call? Why didn't I call 911?

Why lie?