01x06 - Secrets

[bunniefuu]

That's enough now, Kathrine.

That's enough.

I don't know why it turned

out like it did, but it did.

I know it didn't have to be.

You didn't need to hide behind

dementia or whatever it's called?

I don't know what the hell it is.

You didn't need to.

I'm alive. Maja's alive.

We're alive.

Can you not f*cking get up

out of bed and go out and live?

No, no. Of course you can't.

Because it's your grief.

It's your f*cking grief.

A grief that you

build up to hide behind.

That's cowardly, Kathrine.

You know that? It's cowardly.

Who is left here? Who's left?

It's us.

You're not sick.

You're not demented.

You don't belong here.

So

There you go.

Now it's your turn to take

responsibility and be the adult.

I can't bear it anymore.

I can't.

If we'd had more time together,

I know what I would've used it for.

I would have asked you about what

was on your mind

if you had the time to think

about anything.

Before the crash.

If You, kind of thought

that was your life.

You were born. You lived.

And suddenly it was all over.

Dad:

seven missed calls.

I've no idea why we bother

ourselves with all

this thinking constantly.

About life being such a

big deal. So damn important.

That it sort of overrides everything.

Maybe we should think that life

isn't so important.

That it's coincidental.

That we should stop holding on to it

so hard.

Hi, you've reached Anders' voicemail.

Leave a message and

Hi, you've reached Anders' voicemail.

Leave a

Good morning.

Have you been sitting here

for a long time?

You?

Yeah. We brainstormed some security

companies yesterday.

A surveillance camera was mounted

on the cabin which burned down.

-Oh yes, brainstorming.

-Yeah.

Who is "we"?

Listen, I understand it’s a bit

much at the moment, Johan.

It is.

Who is "we", I asked?

It looks like we're facing a

m*rder by fire, Johan.

In a couple of days we'll

have to ask for assistance.

We just have to cast aside

everything we consider prestige.

What the f*ck does that mean?

It means that I see you're tired,

Johan. That's all it means.

What is it with you these days?

-What is it?

-Yes.

No, it's just a little too much,

right now.

Isn't that what you want me to say?

But you need to take it

easy and relax.

Okay?

Yes, Nerbygd police.

Hi.

Okay?

I understand.

No, no, no.

It's good that you called.

I'll take a look into it,

then I'll call you back.

Yes, thank you.

Goodbye.

That was Anders Angell's neighbour.

He was concerned.

-Anders Angell, Maja's Father.

-I know who Anders Angell is!

Good.

-Dad?

-Mhm?

Where are my shoes?

-Are they not in the hallway?

-No.

-Have you looked in your room?

-They're not there.

-Dad!

-Hmm?

They’re here. Exactly where they

normally are.

Oh, I didn't see them.

You're just as bad at looking

for things as your mum.

No, I'm not.

Now get dressed so you're not late

for school.

-Can you not drive me?

-Daddy has to work.

Don't run.

There's no point in doing that.

There's just more forest.

The road out here was

closed this winter after a landslide.

Nobody comes here anymore.

I think maybe it's

best that you do as I say.

Come here.

Maja Hey, hey. Come on. Come.

You can't escape from me.

I'm not scared.

What did you say?

I'm not scared.

Can you speak Norwegian, you think?

I'm not scared of you.

Hm.

I would be.

I've always been scared

of losing control.

But everyone has that, right?

It's a kind of primordial fear.

You know that dream. That you

have before you fall asleep.

That feeling of falling, and falling,

and falling, and falling.

I've always hated that feeling.

I can see you're scared.

But it's not dangerous

to be scared, Elle.

The dangerous thing is

to be completely safe.

Because then you become careless.

Do you not agree?

There are so many who are careless.

I can't understand

I can't understand why you got

into the car of a unknown man.

I wonder what it's like.

What's it like to be so vulnerable?

I’m here for you. You know that.

No matter what.

Your dad called me.

What? Why?

Paranoia. Obsessions.

We've been through this before.

I'm not sick!

Look. I have a deep respect,

that you have to process

-Process?

-Your experiences.

So you don't believe me?

There are better ways of doing it,

that's all I'm saying.

You can get help.

And I understand that what you're

going through is really difficult.

I really do.

But you can't mix your private

traumas with your work.

-Why not?

-It's unprofessional.

Why?

Because

Okay, because it's

academically unforgivable

to let your subjective experiences

colour the work, the research.

Then it's no longer research.

Do you realise that you're

destroying this for yourself?

Your dissertation will be rejected.

You're in a deep ethical quagmire.

-I hear everyone say that, but

-But what?

Exactly what did Dad say to you?

He asked me to take

care of you. A bit.

Alcohol. Drugs. You know.

I'm here. Okay?

Everything's going to be fine.

Glory to you

-Lord of the power of death.

-You can stop singing now, Mum.

Glory to you

-Lord of the power of death.

-Mum.

Mum!

Not now, Maja.

Are you ready for the family gathering?

Yeah.

Everything ok?

How are you doing?

It's always you, uncle and auntie,

who takes care of everything.

Who invites to the memorial service.

Sorting the food and serving drinks.

While my mum just falls apart.

And my dad

Disappears.

This is a very strange day.

The whole thing is like a deja vu.

I don't know if you remember, but

the funeral of you brother

and all that stuff?

Maja. Are you okay?

I need some air.

Maja, Maja. Come here!

Come here!

Maja.

Evil people!

Just sitting there and

drinking your f*cking coffee.

Keeping your mouths shut.

You know exactly what happened,

but you don't say a f*cking thing.

f*cking hell. Bloody people!

Something happened here.

Right here.

The man who k*lled Sofie is

the same who

Okay, okay. Who what?

I experienced something when

I was a little girl Right here.

And I was living here with my uncle

and aunt a while after

my brother was k*lled in that

accident.

And then something happened here.

And they said it was

just a bad dream.

And no one wanted to listen to me,

and there was no space for my problems.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

It's all right. It's okay.

Just breathe.

It's okay. Breathe.

Listen to me. Let's go home.

Yeah?

Let's go home.

Hello?

Mhm?

And She wants to talk to me?

Are you sure?

Yes. Okay. Mhm.

I'm coming. Bye.

-Edward?

-Yeah?

I need to go see my mum.

I'll be back in an hour.

Okay.

-Hi, Mum.

-Hi.

They said that you

That you wanted to see me.

Yes, eh

Hi. Yes, it was me who

called you.

Yes? And she asked for me?

Yes, it's a little unusual, but

Otherwise I wouldn't have

called you.

Yes, and now I'm here.

Jesus.

Wow.

sh*t. That's quite a collection of

sedatives you have.

What is this, mum?

-Is it mine?

-Yes.

What is this?

What the f*ck is this?

You know what?

I can also not give a f*ck.

How many milligrams do you take

of this per day?

I just want to escape as well.

Let everything turn to fluff.

-Well, this is cosy, huh?

-Hi.

How many of those has she had?

Does she dose herself?

sh*t, you become both demented

and a drug addict here.

But you know that.

Maybe that's the point.

Can't I get a bed here as well?

I want to sign off too.

Come on.

Lets get out of here now.

Come on.

There you go. All the way in.

Look, Mum.

Isn't it nice? Hm? We've been

here lots of time before.

Here.

Give me your hand.

Those are the last you'll get.

We're going up the stair here.

Yes.

So just let me know when

you're ready to talk.

What the f*ck do you think

you're doing, Maja?

What someone else should

have done twenty years ago.

You're probably breaking several laws

as we speak.

-The police will be looking for her.

-Yeah.

Can't you just go for a walk

or something? I need to think.