Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x06 - The Phantom Thief and the Detective

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Undead m*rder Farce". Aired: July 6, 2023.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


In a world inhabited by vampires, golems, werewolves and other creatures, Aya Rindo, along with Tsugaru Shunichi and Shizuku Hasei, travels as supernatural detective, solving mysteries while she looks for her lost body.

01x06 - The Phantom Thief and the Detective

Post by bunniefuu »

And we're here.

Oh?

It's unlocked.

Oh! Th-They're all gone!

The nice towels are all gone

Well, I'll be damned. We've been robbed.

The lesson here is that

security is very import—

Speak normally!

Oh, I don't need any vinegar.

Just salt, if you please.

Ah! I could go for something to eat.

We have time before Lupin makes his move.

What would you like to do?

Well, we came all the way to London.

I'd love to see Madame Tussaud's wax museum.

I'll look into it.

Master, would you like some, too?

The

Phantom

Thief

and

the

Detective

Episode

Six

Hello, Watson.

Did I interrupt you?

No, I've already solved it.

By the way, don't you need to

figure out a plan for tonight?

He's the one coming to get the diamond.

And there's more security

than I thought there'd be.

I thought you were rather

skeptical about the security.

That was yesterday.

Today's another day.

Watson, I'm looking forward to this.

It feels like I'm about to have

an intense chess match

with France's very own Arsene Lupin.

Mycroft.

Hello there, Mycroft.

I stopped by to pass something on

but who are you?

Have you forgotten your own brother's face?

You do look quite like him,

but you are not Sherlock.

Wh-Why would you say that?!

Your nails.

I saw Sherlock three days ago,

and his nails were trimmed.

I see. There's no one who

could verify that fact, though.

I believe I can.

It's a pleasure to meet

you, Sherlock Holmes.

I'm quite honored to meet you.

And you must be Arsene Lupin.

What in the world?

After coming all the way to London, do we

really have to go to some wax museum?

I'm told they have a special exhibit

called the "Chamber of Horrors."

It features gruesome simulacra of humanity.

But I hang out with one of those all the time

Er, I didn't say anything!

Oh, that's Baker Street right there.

Master, should we stop by Mister Holmes's place?

Are you being pouty, Master?

North-northwest, all clear!

The lace pattern is different!

Oh.

Hello! Hello!

Talk about a bird-brained mix-up, huh?

I must say, you're a formidable opponent,

but the safe you're after is under heavy

guard in an underground vault.

So what are your odds

of victory, Mister Detective?

Exceedingly close to one hundred percent.

Hmm.

This is lovely.

Your country's government gave it to me.

Sherlock, what is the most

defining feature of a lock?

That is, what is its essential function?

To keep things shut away?

No, to be opened!

The lock

The detector locks on the Chamber of

Additional Crimes are just three keyholes.

The lock on that safe as well?

That was created with superhuman skill,

so it won't be easy.

But if a human like Fogg was

able to open it, so can I.

Well then, Mister Holmes and Doctor Watson

I will see you again tonight!

He's as flashy as the rumors say.

He reminds me of you

when you were younger.

Were you able to talk to Holmes?

We did better than talk. We even had tea.

It was a brilliant success.

I planted two important seeds.

What time is the train?

5:25 at Waterloo Station.

We still have some time.

Why don't we stop somewhere and—

Look out!

Were you hurt?

Excuse me! Have you seen

a bird cage around here?

A bird cage?

Have we?

No.

Thank you for your time.

A moment, Miss.

What am I going to do?

If I'm not able to interview

Mister Holmes or Miss Rindo

Mister Shinuchi?!

What happened to your face?

Hello, Annie.

You're in London, are you?

By the way, have you seen my master?

The driver was concealing

the right side of his face.

He must be the Phantom.

The one they call the

Phantom of the Opera

Old theaters like that are frequently

haunted, aren't they?

They tell ghost stories about

The Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, too.

Oh?

I wonder why Lupin went

out of his way to see you.

The only thing that's certain

is that both Lupin and I are under a

rather troublesome curse of our own.

The curse of being a gentleman.

Gentlemen never lie about the

moves they're going to make.

Their pride absolutely will not allow it.

Oh, that poor chap.

Don't let your guard down, Sherlock.

I heard that Royce's agents are here.

I met them. They didn't seem very reliable,

but we share an interest

in protecting the diamond.

You're so clueless.

Their goal is the eradication of all monsters.

What do you mean?

It's said that the Penultimate Night

is the key to finding werewolves.

Werewolves?

I'm quite certain the Royce agents will

not actually try to stop Lupin.

They'll corner Lupin after the crime,

incapacitate him, and steal the diamond.

And then they'll let Lupin take the fall.

But that's

Then I'll simply steal

the diamond back from them.

It won't be as easy as you make it sound.

They're powerful.

I have an ace up my sleeve.

You mean your baritsu, Sherlock?

But you're not a young man anymore.

So Lupin has the Phantom on his side,

and we can't trust the two Royce agents.

Doesn't this remind you of when we fought

Professor Moriarty eight years ago?

Do you think we can trust that

Japanese detective? The Cage User?

I'm not sure But they're also monsters.

The Royce agents may seek to

pick them off in the chaos.

Oh, but the woman is immortal, isn't she?

Curse that Tsugaru

What did we run over?!

Wh-What is that?

Oh

You're the severed head from yesterday.

What the heck are you doing here?

I could ask you the same question.

Weren't you arrested?

Say, you two. I'd be ever so

grateful if you'd carry me.

Hey Hey, wait a second.

Wait, wait!

Wait, wait, wait, wai—

Why do we have to find this bird cage?

Keep a keen eye out for it.

Could we go back to the

main road one more time?

Sure thing, Miss.

Whoa!

Go after that car!

It's empty.

Huh? I really don't want to write an

article saying that Miss Rindo died

because her assistant got

her mixed up with a parrot.

Again, Master won't die.

If we keep wandering,

she'll pop up somewhere—

Tsugaru!

Miss Shizuku!

Pardon me!

I'm borrowing this!

Welcome back, Master.

Took you long enough.

You'll be getting punished later.

Miss Rindo! I'm so glad you're okay!

Well, if isn't our feisty little reporter.

So you're in London as well.

Yes.

Lady Aya!

Thank goodness you're safe!

I never should have left your side!

Please forgive me!

Shizuku, are those two?

Yes, they helped me in my search for you.

Oh, I haven't asked for your names

No, no. My name is not important.

Female, a bird cage,

and "Lady Aya"?

So you must the Cage User's entourage.

I must say, you are dressed quite peculiarly.

Mister Sherlock Holmes dresses

just that same way.

Shizuku, it appears that you were

riding with Mister Arsene Lupin.

I didn't think you'd be from

the Cage User coterie.

To meet another detective right after Holmes

What an interesting day.

I think you mean an awful day.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Aya Rindo.

Indeed, I am Arsene Lupin.

This is my subordinate, Erik.

Don't use my real name.

Oh, I apologize. This is the Phantom.

The pleasure is all mine.

By the way, are those two your assistants?

I'm her apprentice, and this

is her maid, Miss Shizuku.

And what's your name?

I am know as the terrifying

Oni Slayer, Tsugaru Shinuchi.

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance.

What exactly is an "Oni Slayer"?

It means that I'm

stronger than you, Lupin.

I'd prefer to conserve my energy

since I have to work tonight, but

I'll play with you a bit.

So what do Arsene Lupin and an accountant

counting up money at night have in common?

No idea?

What?

They're both so darn noisy!

Here comes the real one!

Hmph.

Allow me to give you a warning.

Drop this case, Aya Rindo.

I lost.

I saw.

Now, let us return to the Fogg residence.

But Lupin just told you to drop the case.

We must prepare for the night's farce.

Goodness I didn't expect a body search.

Did you bring the extra a*mo?

I brought around ten rounds.

Splendid. Let me borrow six rounds later.

My barrel will be empty in about three hours.

You're planning to use your g*n?!

Mind if I pass through as well?

Those shoes are new but the

soles are already worn.

Does your job involve frequent walking?

I'm an inspector with the Paris City Police.

You must be Inspector Ganimard.

Do you mind if I find out for certain?

Hey!

Excuse me.

It's a pleasure to meet you,

Inspector Ganimard.

It appears you're an expert on Lupin,

just as the rumors say.

I'm Inspector Ganimard with the Paris Police.

I've been waiting for you.

Has the Cage User's entourage not arrived yet?

They were just here.

They asked me to give this to you.

"We'll guard the above-ground areas

so that we won't be in your way.

Please take care of the basement."

What areas are they talking about?

They mentioned the top of the tower.

Very well. I'm sure they have

their own ways of doing things.

Let us confirm our positions.

There will be a total of 111 people

protecting this mansion,

but we should minimize those in

the Chamber of Additional Crimes

to prevent a disguised Lupin

from infiltrating our ranks.

Fatima and I will protect

the above-ground levels.

I can't bear to stay in this

dusty place a second longer.

Is that because it'll be easier

to surround Lupin up there,

after he's stolen the diamond?

Our job is to protect Mister Phileas

Fogg's assets. That is all.

Watson.

Smoke that after our victory.

You'll enjoy it far more.

We'd better be able to win this time.

That means it'll be just the six of us here.

There are around three hours

until the time named in his letter.

Best to lock up as soon as possible.

Close the door.

Mister Fogg, the diamond?

I checked on it before all of you arrived.

Then let us pray that it is

still there three hours from now.

Now then, Master

The unworthy rakugo performer

Tsugaru Shinuchi

will observe this performance

of "The Pot Thief."

Hey! Did something jump in?!

Go after it! Track it down!

It went toward the main gates! Hurry!

What?!

They say someone infiltrated

from the north building.

And a guard's uniform has been stolen!

Still about fifty minutes until 11:00, though.

Hey, Holmes. Did you hear me?

Wha?!

What have you done?!

What's the meaning of this?!

There's no way to open the door now.

Which means we're stuck here!

Not forever, though.

They'll call a skilled locksmith

first thing in the morning.

But even if they do, it'll take

five or six hours to open.

We won't die after half a day without food.

What's important here is the fact that, now,

no one can enter this room

between 11:00 and 11:30 PM.

Lupin declared that he could open any lock.

But if there is no lock for him to manipulate,

then not even Lupin can make his way in.

That is brilliant.

This makes our defense complete.

Now, Lupin

What will you do next?

10:55 PM.

We need to be extremely cautious.

Mister Holmes, Mister Watson,

please keep your hands on the safe.

Understood.

10:58 PM.

Nothing's happening.

What was that?!

Water!

They say the outer wall

below the tower was blown up!

He got us.

This is the water from the moat.

Liquid can get through the vent.

Even if water gets through, the safe is

Yes.

But we won't be able to protect

the safe underwater.

How can this be?