01x04 - Drac-U-Nah

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on Ezra.

Aria Janes has a show tonight.

- Okay. But now the important
question, what do I wear?

Because I have to look
good for the freak show.

- I think you look
good than anything.

- Ezra, I don't wanna
see some f*cking sicko.

- Okay, we'll be in
and out in one minute.

Just quick research.

- My f*cking security.

Ain't gonna ask

for f*cking consent when we
throw you outta here, bro.

- Whoa, is that any way
to talk to your elders?

- I'm a vampire and

- Uh huh, cool story
Ezra, I don't care.

Just don't k*ll me, okay?

(suspenseful music)

(man running)

(man breathing heavy)

(suspenseful music)

- I love cardio.

- I have like 82 bit
going on my laptop

in the back of my car.

The password is, is icefan781.

Please. Please just take it.

- No

(man growls)

(man screams)

(dramatic music)

♪ Me and my girls,
yeah, call us a coven ♪

♪ When it comes lovin'

♪ They got my back
when I go on trusting ♪

♪ Boys like you

♪ You're gone and buried

♪ The cemetery

♪ Boy, aint' it scary

♪ R.I.P. you're dead to me

♪ You're gone and buried

♪ I hope you're ready

♪ Boy ain't it scary

♪ R.I.P. you're dead to me

♪ Cross my broken heart,
I hope you die, die ♪

♪ Cross my broken heart,
I hope you die, die ♪

♪ R.I.P. you're dead to me

- I'm just k*lling time

(upbeat music)

- Well, this is cute.

- It's Halloween,
objectively the best holiday.

- Better behave or I'll
stab you. (laughing)

- Oh yeah.

Such a delight.

- There's Ian.

You are so in love with him.

- I am not.

- Mm hmm, so how does this work?

Do you eat him? Do you k*ll him?

- Nooo!

Okay I have a strict diet
of just bigots and (beep).

- Same thing.

- Hey strangers.

I see you're both in costume.

- Thanks, I'm
dressed as a b*tch.

- Oh

- Uh, okay, I'm gonna go
carve a pumpkin or something.

Okay, bye!

- You have to check
out the Halloween

photo op they have here.

I mean, if you can
handle being scared.

- I think I can handle that.

- Come on, let's go.

♪ Please don't
waste your breath ♪

♪ On the things I don't regret

♪ Baby I'm just
here for the ride ♪

♪ See my silhouette please
don't ever ask me why ♪

- Enjoy.

♪ Every time I'll
tell you, darling I ♪

- Why are you? Did you
go to McDonald's today?

- No.

- Weird. I saw you
eating out, Lesbo

- Eh, hilarious.

- Thank you.

I was thinking about it all day.

That joke, it's one of the..

I'm glad you found it funny.

- Yeah, big brain.

- Thank you. (chuckling)

Whoa! Scary mask.

Where's it from?

- Is it?

- Yeah. - Are you proud of that?

- Because you aren't
wearing a mask

It's actually your
face - Oh yeah.

Hilarious.

(snearing and laughing)

♪ Baby you been such a tease

♪ Never gonna stop
until you're ♪

- Is she always that aggressive

or does Halloween
bring it out of her?

- Sadly. Always.

- Oh, damn

if only monsters and
vampires are real

someone could get her.

- Yeah. If only.

Could I get a tequila soda?

- So it's that
kind of night, huh?

- I'm just trying to pretend
like I'm not even here.

- Ah

That'll be $6.40, cash, card,

or your number?

- Card

Nice tat.

- It's a family thing.

- No, I actually
think it's cool.

- Hope to see you around.

- Yeah. Happy Halloween.

- Happy Halloween.

(men laughing)

- Whoa.

- Cultural appropriation much?

- Scary, right?

- Wait, is it scary?

- I don't know, they
seem kind of cute.

- Yeah. Cute for a monster.

Let's go

Come on, come on, come one.

♪ Yeah I k*ll it 24/7

♪ Uh and now my features
in the bars hey ♪

- You good?

- He thinks I'm a monster.

- You're overthinking.

- Am I, am I though
look at this photo.

- Ezra. It's a Halloween post.

It's supposed to be scary.

- Why am I supposed to be scary?

It's not you.

It's the old Hollywood
Halloween thing.

You know, vampires,
ghouls, goblins, witches...

- Wait. Even the witches?

- Wait, witches are real?

- Get focused.

I can never talk to him again.

- Well, let's just
take five seconds.

- He's a Libra. He's a Libra.

This was never gonna work.

We were doomed from the start.

- You need some
oxygen just (inhaling)

Yeah, mm hmm

- Okay. Yeah, no,
I'm gonna go spiral,

but thank you so much. Bye.

- Ezra! (mumbling)

(tempo music)

(chimes tinkling)

- Can you just tell me if I'm
gonna be miserable the rest

of my life or do I
hopefully die soon?

- That depends.

Do you wish to stay miserable

or do you wish to
be happy, Ezra?

(chimes tinkling)

- Oh my God.

Are you FBI?

I knew the state was gonna come.

Okay. Listen.

He was a literal pedophile.

I, I did a community
service job.

So if I'm gonna be
totally honest...

- No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not even gonna ask.

I'm getting

vampire.

- Oh my God, are you one of us?

- Witch.

One of the last
survivors of Salem.

- Oh! Oh my God.

Okay. Go off bestie.

(chimes clanking)

- Spill.

- So basically my
family's insane

and wouldn't let me do anything.

So then I decided to flee

and go to the mortal world

because I thought

everybody's just so
happy and freak here.

Then I got here and realized

everybody's also insane,

kind of narcissistic.

But then I met my
best friend, Gwen,

and this guy, Ian, who's just

amazing.

But he just brought me

to a Halloween vampire
themed photo op,

where he just almost
pissed himself,

like a pre-pubescent boy.

- So

are you struggling with
his acceptance of you

or your acceptance of yourself?

- What is this? Morey?

- No, honesty.

(sighs)

- I really like him.

Okay. He's great.

He's like out of a movie.

It feels like he likes me too,

and I've been here before

and I will not
regress my healing

for some bright eyed mortal.

I'm scared.

That once he finds out,

he won't want to be with me.

- And what do you
think he'll do?

- Before today I thought
maybe he wouldn't care

or maybe he would.

I honestly don't know.

But what about you?

Let's talk about you.

Like how are you?

Are you here with somebody?

- I loved someone once.

- Can you just tell
me what happens?

- Why would I tell
you what happens

in a situation you're
in full control of?

follow your heart Ezra.

If love is true it
will always be real

and nothing supernatural
or not can destroy that.

Our souls are what connect us,

not the creatures,
that house them.

- Okay. Well, great.

This was a waste of my
time, but thank you so much.

Have a great night and yeah.

(upbeat music)

- Hey, where'd you go?

I got candy apples for us.

Everything okay?

- I've never seen
one of these before.

- Really? Your
family never took you

to a pumpkin patch?
Trick or treating?

- Uh, my family, um,

they're in their own world.

- Well, they're good,

just uh...

very sticky.

- Do you ever

feel like you...

do you ever feel like
you don't fit in?

Like you kind of just exist?

Not anywhere, but just
floating through life.

- I used to,

you know,

years ago

all my buddies would
brag about, you know, how

many girls they slept with,

how many pushups they could do

how many beers they
could chug, which,

by the way, I can do
three in under 60 seconds.

But yeah, I always felt like
I was floating in that world.

Like if I could just plant
my feet on the ground

I would finally fit in.

I was so ashamed of my sexuality

that I couldn't let
myself be seen for me.

And everywhere I went,
I was just floating,

unable to be grounded
with anyone, or myself.

- So what changed?

- I wanted something real.

Whether that was a real friend

a real feeling or
just a real me.

And once I was
comfortable with myself

nobody could make me float.

I was just grounded in who I am.

And everything else just kind
of fell into place after that.

- But what if

no one would accept you?

What if

you've been made out to be bad,

like scary by everyone.

Do you think anybody
would accept you then?

- I think

that

if you can accept yourself

and you know in your heart
that you're a good person,

nothing and no one
can change that.

- It's a full moon

- On Halloween? Extra spooky.

- Yeah. Next thing you know,
my fangs will come out.

- Oh yeah?

I'd be okay with you biting me.

- I see you're feeling better.

- All he needed
was a candy apple.

Hey, come on let's dance!

(guitar strumming)

♪ I love it when
you wake up late ♪

♪ And get lost on
the interstate ♪

♪ Spill coffee on
that shirt I hate ♪

♪ So I don't have
to see it again ♪

♪ I love it when
you're in my dreams ♪

♪ Drowning in gasoline

♪ Set fire to your
dumb limp jeans ♪

♪ That I don't
have to see again ♪

♪ Oh there's a lot
that I love but ♪

♪ I hate the way
you say my name ♪

♪ And trash every
single word I say ♪

♪ You always
thinking about you ♪

♪ But no one's
thinking about you ♪

♪ And I hate the way
you said goodbye ♪

♪ Couldn't even
look me in the eye ♪

♪ After the hell
you put me through ♪

♪ I hope you hate me too

(guitar fades)

- We good to go?

(chimes tinkling)

Yeah.

(dramatic music)