02x01 - Diamonds And Deception

[bunniefuu]

I like having people over
to my house for dinner too.

I'm just not used to
one server for each guest there.

We're spending about, like, 400k
a month on our black Amex.

I can shop for five days straight
from when stores open to when they close.

You know, I'm on a budget.

This is not normal.

You have one life.
Live it to its fullest.

How did you shut down Rodeo?

There's a very small circle
of affluent Asians in Los Angeles,

but there's really no need
for any of the drama.

Christine is a f*cking pain
in the a*s.

I just wanna make sure
everybody has their seat.

-Christine f*cked with me? Sit there.
-That b*tch.

Who raised you? Wolves?

What'd you say?

You're way overreacting right now.

I'm upset! Yes or no?

I don't f*cking treat you that way!

There ain't no d*ck that good.

The silent ones are the crazy ones.

-We're not married yet. We have 2 babies.
-Yeah.

Jessey Lee, will you marry me?

What is she doing
with a p*nis pump?

Cherie means so much to me.

Kane would be there
for me in a heartbeat.

Stop looking at me like you wanna kiss me.

I look at you…
I think it's the other way around.

-Kevin!
-I don't know, maybe.

-I get it. It's okay.

-Hello?
-Hi.

Hi. It's my first time
using this peephole.

Peephole?

Hey. Oh my God,
look at that panda!

-How are you?
-Oh my…

-Good to see you.
-What's up, Kevin?

-Thank you.
-What an upgrade.

I took a chance
to come here to LA to find myself,

and I'm getting closer to finding
who I am,

and what it's like to be Asian.

Thank you.

I must have done
some really good sh*t in my past lifetime

because there's no way
unless you have good karma

that you can meet
a group of friends like this.

-Hey, hey, shoes, shoes, shoes…
-But it's Louboutin.

I feel settled in.
I have my own new apartment,

and I can walk around naked.

I can jerk off whenever I want.

So my life's in a great place right now.

Here, this is for you. This is--

Shoes!

It goes with the whole outfit.

I mean, Kevin, come on.
It's a perfect outfit today.

But seriously, this is an Asian household.

-I took it off.
-But you're white inside.

Stop saying that. I'm not white.
Take them off.

-I took off my shoes for you.
-Thank you. See? Kelly respects me.

Thank you.
Let me show you around.

-This is my bedroom.
-What is this?

This is my bedroom.

-Are you gonna get a real bed?
-What do you mean?

This looks dirty.
Do you guys have a blue light somewhere?

I mean, look, stain, stain, stain--

-Stain.
-You take girls home to this?

What are you doing?

-Oh my God!

Ew! Ew!

Look!

-You sure I'm the first person?
-You're the first person, I swear.

-That was from my last place.
-What's this right here?

Get out!

I'm wishing that I had my shoes on.
I wish I had my mask on.

I wish I had my gloves on.
I wish I had, like, a hazmat suit on

'cause God knows what happens
in Kevin's place.

-My God! It was so gross!
-I saw that!

Thank goodness Kevin and I
are just friends.

I mean, I can deal with the mattress
on the floor, but the stains on the sheet?

I don't think so.

-Thank you, Maria.
-You're welcome.

-Hi. I'm so, so sorry I'm late.
-Hi, Anna.

That's okay.

I love diamonds.

I have a diamond dealer,

jeweler, friend,

who's downtown Los Angeles
in the Diamond District.

How are my little friends?

We sit there sometimes till, like, four
or five in the morning, and we'll design.

And at the end, I don't think
it's that I pick the jewelry.

Hi.

Oh my God. My little princess.

The jewelry picks me.

Round, five carat. Anything bigger?

-We have ten.
-Ten? Okay, yeah.

Let's look at the ten.

Okay. No problem.

For the past year and a half,
I've been trying to plan a wedding.

It's so much work.

I proposed to Jessey
a long time ago.

-What?
-Will you marry me?

Wow.

I can't wait to marry him.

I looked into,
obviously, my wedding dress.

I want pearls and diamonds
like dangling over me.

I didn't think I would ever
buy myself a ring, you know?

I'll take Jessey. I'll call Jessey.

You'll call him? Okay.

Say, "Hey, Jessey, what's up?
Let's go shopping."

Motivate him.

"Let's go shopping."

Oh, sh*t.

So, this is a ten carat.

May I have your hand?

That's so beautiful.

That's really pretty.

How come
he doesn't want to get married?

I don't think it's that
he doesn't want to get married.

He wants the timing to be correct.

And we have this
feng shui master guy that we really trust.

He told us that this year would not
be a good time for us to get married.

It would be next year.

-You'll have a third baby.
-Yeah, no.

No more babies.

From then until now we've been looking
at rings for like a long time now.

Every time we look at it,
something happens

and every time we look again,
something happens,

and he never made
the commitment to buy it.

Or maybe he did buy it
without me knowing. I have no idea. But--

When is the right time?

Um, the feng shui guy said next year.
Any time next year is good.

-But I'm-- The coming year.
-This coming year.

Ah, so you should get one!

Listen, I planned mine
in a month and a half,

but this was my fourth wedding.

-Wow. So, you're--
-A little practice.

Yeah, just wing it.

What do you think?

I think it's beautiful.

Wow!

-Jevon's here.
-What's going on?

I didn't know we
were planning on an Omakase.

-Jadore, what's that?
Maguro.

-Kampachi.
-Kampachi.

Papa's favorite, wagyu.

-Uh, I like uni and ikura.

She's like, "Forget the wagyu."

Wow.

-Thank you for the food!
-Yeah.

I was thinking in Napa
we should take some wedding photos.

-What?
-Yeah.

What do you think?

-Have you even started wedding planning?
-I want to be a June bride.

Well, I mean, I think…
I think we're kind of past that.

Or in the fall?

Hm?

-Where do you want the wedding?
-You can decide.

I'm leaving that up to you.

I get a headache, just thinking about it.

I don't think
every little girl wakes up like,

"Let me propose to the man of my dreams."

Right? I think by now
we should be married.

I just never thought
we would be here right now.

Um…

Hopefully something will change.

I think I need
a really good wedding planner.

Mm.

Mmm. He's like,
"You know me well!"

Always flirting with the girls.

He didn't get that from his papa, though.

Hope not.

Look at how beautiful.

Do you want croissants?

No.

We're in Paris
for Couture Week,

and this year is extraordinarily special

because I have Big G and Baby G with me.

I know, waking up in the morning
is so hard, I know.

-Yeah.
-Yeah?

Do you want chocolate chip pancakes?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Baby G, do you wanna see?
Wanna see the bridge?

Mm-hm.

Look at the Eiffel Tower
there.

Couture Week is fun,
but it's also extremely stressful

because you are running
from show to show in Paris traffic.

You have to execute
all of your looks to perfection,

and we're on a mission.

We have to focus.

There are fittings,
there are shows, there are back stages,

there's press.

There is no sleep, no eating.

You gotta do it right. Paris is chaotic.

It's stress upon stress upon stress,
but I… I love every second of it.

-Hello?
-Hello!

Hey, Mimi. What's going on?

-Wait, where are you at?
-We miss you.

I'm just wrapping up here in Paris,
and then we're gonna head over to Cannes.

Come on.
That's so nice. I'm jealous!

I met Mimi through Cherie.

Mimi and I hit it off right away.

She is a firecracker.

Everything she says
just makes you happy and laugh.

-Why aren't you with us?
-I'm planning my anniversary.

-What, huh?
-It's on Saturday.

So, come home, okay?
It's really nice party.

This Saturday?

-Yes.
-It's Thursday.

Today is Thursday,
Friday, Saturday.

-Oh my God.
-What about Cannes?

Yes, we will… I will make it.
I will change things around.

We will definitely be there
to celebrate you guys.

What?

Hi, ladies.

-Hey.
-You look great.

Hi.

Hi, I'm Kane.
Don't give Kevin your number.

-Kevin.
-Hi, Kane.

Oh my gosh, this is… No.

Look at the piano.
No caviar. Look at the piano.

Walking through
Mimi and Don's house,

I'm thinking I've been
to quite a few of these parties.

But this one,
it just takes it to a whole new level.

-Hey, how are you?
-Give me a hug, come on.

-Happy anniversary. You look great.
-Thank you.

How are you, Skyler?
I like your suit. Yves Saint Laurent?

I love Mimi so much.

I actually know
all the super wealthy Asians in LA,

and Mimi happens to be one of them.

We're just in a really small circle
and come on, it's spectacular.

I mean, it's like a wedding.

Christine throws amazing parties,
don't get me wrong,

but Mimi is really on another level.

-Hey, Kelly.
-Congratulations!

-You're wearing butterflies too.
-Butterflies.

She got the memo. Where's your butterfly?

-Your dress looks beautiful.
-Why butterflies?

You know, every party,
I have flowers,

so I'm thinking,
"What do we do this time?"

And I'm thinking, like,
I come up with mudfly.

-Mudfly?
-Butterfly.

-Butterfly.
-Buffly.

-What--
-Butterflies.

-Actually--
-Butterflies.

-Buttflies.

-Buttflies.

Buttflies!

Yes, but let this anniversary
be an inspiration to your next lover.

I'm inspired to get married.

-For sure.
-You are?

Well, I need to get--

-You need to clean up your sh*t first.
-Exactly.

Oh, sh*t.

-What's up, Kim!
-You've stepped up.

Hey, babe.

-You look gorgeous. Getting married?
-The girls are out.

Oh my God. Her boobs are insane.

-Yeah.
-I mean, Kevin…

-They are?
-The girls are out.

Oh my God!

-Hi, Mimi.
-Woo-hoo-hoo!

-How are you?
-Oh my God, her boobs came out.

Ah, yes, you've gotta
greet the sisters first.

The past year and a half,
I've put all my energy into work.

It's just been a crazy journey.

It went from, like,
me trying to get into the clubs,

messaging different club owners,
promoters, agents and stuff,

to, like, now DJing
the biggest music festivals

and playing
with the biggest DJs in the world.

I got you guys a gift.

For you, whoever drinks.

-Me.
-It was for you?

-Hey, Anna. How are you?
-Good, thanks. How are you?

-Good. Good to see you.
-How are you?

Did you renew your vows?

No, no. One's enough.

Any… Hello?

-What is he doing?
-I don't know.

-Hello?
-Wow, no, Kane.

I'm looking for single guys for Kelly.

Kelly's recently single.

Five-eight.
She has a lot of pearls on her body.

-She's working it.
-This is so embarrassing.

Kelly's at the bar now.

Any single guys in the house,
please give her your number,

and have a net worth
of at least $10 million.

-Ten million?
-Have a great party.

I am single, like finally,

and this time it's for good.

I knocked on Drew's door,
and we got back together.

And we were doing actually really well,
going to more therapy together.

Then there were some events that happened
when I realized the surface has changed,

but the under core of Drew still has a lot
of issues that he needs to deal with.

And I just feel like I don't have
another five to ten years

of my life to give to him.

-You don't eat?
-I do, but I don't like caviar.

-You don't like caviar?
-I don't like caviar.

Oh, we can't be friends.

-Really?
-How could you not like caviar?

'Cause it's very expensive for…

-It doesn't taste that good to me.
-It's so good.

All right, let me try this caviar.

-Is it really that good?
-It's a ring.

This is the type of ring
you would get me, huh?

Of course…

I like caviar now.

What are you gonna do with the…

-Oh my God!
-I love caviar.

I wonder if we should bother--

-It's heavy.
-Here.

-No, I got it.
-Two fingers, you'll drop it.

I am so mortified that we're late,

but it wasn't easy getting here.

We went from Paris to LA

to Orange County.

No eating, no showering.

-Do you want to go to sleep?
-Yeah.

Okay, we'll find you someplace
to go to sleep, okay?

But we made it.

-Most girls like simple things.
-Where are we going to sit, or stand?

Like something I got you, simple.

-Oh!

Show us, Mimi.

You need to be more active
on Instagram. I need to teach you.

-Can you teach me?
-Yes, I want to.

Impossible. I don't know how this works.

You remind me of my mom.

My mom is very bad at technology
and with her phone too.

It's the age. I'm older than your mom.

Yeah, well, can you be,
like, my mom in LA?

-Okay.
-Okay.

-Okay.
-What are you guys laughing at?

Jaime, why are you crying?
You have too much money?

Oh my God,
I have too much money too!

Oh, my Dad gave me too much money!

Make my way.

Slowly making my way over.

Christine, what are you doing?

In the past,
there was a lot of competition

going with Christine and Anna.

I don't know if it was out of fun,
I don't know if it was out of insecurity,

but, like, I secretly like the drama
because it's fun to me, you know.

It's just watching, you know, two people
compete over stupid material things.

What's new? What's going on in your life?

And the baby.

I know. So cute.

She's so cute.

Your granddaughter.
Did that sound strange?

Isn't that crazy?
Actually, do you want to see?

Yes.

Oh, my… Look at the folds in her thighs.

Sometimes she cries