01x03 - Chapter Three: The Goddamned Beacon of Truth

[bunniefuu]

So are you gonna do it
or aren't ya?

It's just...

I never talked to one before.

Well, she's not gonna bite ya.
Unless you ask.

Hey, maybe the rain'll stop.

[ thunder rumbling ]

Mmm. No. Not stopping.

[ thunder rumbling ]

She says I'm too young.

[ softly ] f*ck.

I think maybe my brother
didn't explain quite right.

I get this is
a strange request, but...

Honey, this one time,
the guy wanted to watch me

pleasure myself
with his prosthetic hand.

Strange requests
are kinda my thing.

Strange requests cost.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Who's the lucky guy?

What's our one g*dd*mn rule?

Oh, Christ, Deborah,
don't throw a hissy.

Show some respect for the guy
who stocked you
with the new towels.

Macy's Hotel Collection?

That's "hotel" with an "H".

You know what?
Go f*ck yourself.

You know what?
Go f*ck yourself.

Okay, and I'm gonna
blast the heat
when we get in there.

Then hot shower.
Then HBO.

I wanna smell the soaps.

You're weird, man.

Hey. Look.

Oh, holy sh*t.
We made the news.

What, you think the manager
will recognize us now?

Or the hooker lady?

No, we're good. They used
my corny-a*s school pictures.

We're in business, kids.

[ thunder rumbles ]

I also offer a variety of other
non-erotic type services.

Weed, black market DVDs,

I'm also a notary.
[ chuckles ]

All right, then. Don't do
anything I wouldn't do.

[ theme music playing ]

Every school
has that kid, right?

The kid nobody talks to?

But if Wayne comes
to talk to you, well,
you're f*cked.

Hey. Watch your language.

Never ate with utensils.
He's like an animal.

I once saw him
hammer a No. 2 pencil
into a dude's hand.

He burned his dad alive.
You know that, right?
Set him on fire?

He once ate a frog in class.
But not, like, biology class.
In English class.

Utensils or no utensils?

Never seen him eat a vegetable,
but did see him stab a kid
with a carrot.

He beat up my dad.
I mean, my dad's
an as*h*le, but...

Ruined Easter.

So tell me about the night
you had your incident
with Wayne.

[ snaps fingers ] Young man?

I told ya, he's not gonna talk.
I haven't heard him speak
a word since.

So, what's this for?

Is Wayne gonna hear what I say?

Uh, no, Wayne's never
gonna see this. Promise.

We're not recording.

Do you know what that maniac
will do to me if he does?

Do you remember what happened
to Joey Sicliano?

- Who's Joey Sicliano?
- Exactly.

What's that?

Oh, this is for my Instagram.

Wayne is the best guy.
[ chuckles nervously ]

Heart of gold.
Wouldn't hurt a fly.

You can tell us the truth.

Scott: This is the truth.

Hey, there, Wayne. Brother.

Okay, Jesus Christ.
Just get the hell outta here.

So, Mr. Hikes.
We have a few questions.

They ain't mine.

-What's that?
-Someone was
making me sell it.

Look, if you guys
want the magazines...

Oh, and the money, I have it.

And what magazines
are you referring to?

The titty ones?

- Wait...
- Cole: Orlando.

We're here to ask you about...

Those samurai swords
was already in my locker
when I got 'em.

I'mma just let you talk first.

Orlando, we're here
to ask you questions
about Wayne McCullough.

Oh.

Did Wayne do that to your eye?

What? No. This?

The reason I have this
is because Wayne isn't here.

I mean, we don't go
to the movies together
or anything,

but Wayne is my boy.

Whatever you think he did,
he's innocent.

You do know that
he burned down his house
with his dad inside it,

assaulted a man and his boys,
bit his nose off
and kidnapped his daughter?

I did not.

[ bell rings ]

Listen, this school is full
of some messed-up kids
and bullies and sh*t.

Honestly, it's a dangerous
place for all of us.

We got metal detectors on
the doors that don't work.

Kids dropping out of school
because they're scared
to be here.

Wayne's been dealt a bad hand,

so you're gonna have to find
somebody else to squeal on him.

Now I gotta sneak off
to my next class,

'cause with Wayne gone,

it's open season
on Orlandos out there.

Can I bounce?

[ speaks indistinctly ]

[ door closes ]

I have limited resources,
but I do everything in my power

to protect my students.

[ indistinct chatter ]

They think his father
got it on the job.

- The cancer?
- Yeah.

Jay: The Sergeant had a run-in
with cancer himself.

No, it's okay.
It turns out
it was not cancer.

I mean, it almost was.

It's like I had it.

At least for a few hours.

Hey.

Wayne's gonna be okay.

I know you got a sweet spot
for the boy.

It ain't Wayne.

There was a death in my family.

Argus died this morning.

My Shepherd Terrier.

He was a good dog.
He was loyal.

He hated going on walks,
which was nice for me

because I hate walking, too.

I don't get pets. All these
people in my neighborhood
with these green bags

standing around waiting
for something to sh*t.

No, thanks.

I think maybe there's
something in my water,
you know.

I kept changing
the dog food over and over.

What are you talking about?

This is my fourth dog
to die in two years.

Argus,

Artemis,

Amadeus,

Apricot.

Oh, so you're one of those
people who name all their
dogs the same letter.

That's what you got
out of this story?

Cole: Ah, what the hell
is wrong with me?

Four dogs, the picture
of health, just drop dead?

Jesus, it's like
I'm f*cking cursed!

Uh...

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Maybe you're just
a bad pet owner.

This motel sucks.

The shower water smells,

the blankets stink
like basement.

This towel is really
soft though.

Get up. We're going swimming.

We can't go swimming.

We need to be getting on
the road, get to Florida,

to my dad's car.

[ sighs ] Come on,
it's the first sunny day in,
like, forever.

I deserve a tan.
I look like a gallon of milk.

You saw the pictures
in the paper.

We're, like, wanted or whatever.

Relax, it's not like
we're Bonnie and Clyde
or something'.

I'm swimming
in this bikini. Today.

You don't wanna be there,
I can't f*cking help you,

but this bikini is getting used.

Wayne:
That doesn't look healthy.

What are you?
The Prince of England?

Ain't you never heard
of a mud bath?

No.

Don't.

I'm joking.

Who the hell would
get into that thing?

[ horn honking ]

sh*t motel number two!

Girl: Got it?
Boy: Yeah, coming through.

Well, no one's f*cking
in that thing.

- 'Sup?
- 'Sup with you?

Heading down
to spring break, Daytona.

Currently, on the shitty motel
tour all the way there.

sh*thole, no doubt.

You know what makes
shitty motels seem less shitty?

Getting sh*t-faced.

We made Pink Panty-Droppers.

Join.

Boy: All right, here we go.
[ chuckles ]

Yeah, cool. All right.

[ indistinct chatter ]

There you go.

[ keys jangling ]

Principal Cole,
I have to talk to you.

Orlando, what the...
[ stutters ] Get out of here!

I'm sorry. Are you done
using the bathroom?

Uh, no, I wasn't...

I'm just sitting here.

In the bathroom?
Just breathing in
all this nasty air?

This is the faculty bathroom.
How the hell
did you get in here?

-I have a key.
-To the faculty bathroom?
Gimme those.

Okay, this place,
this is for me.

This is the only place I have
that's for me. It's sacred.

Listen, it's about Wayne.

Oh, well, in that case,
get the hell outta here!

As if that kid
hasn't caused me
enough freaking vexation.

But we gotta help him.

Look, I know that life's been
a little difficult for you
lately without your bodyguard,

but maybe you shouldn't have
done a bunch of stuff that
made you need a bodyguard.

But he's just in real trouble.
I'm serious.

Look.

These guys,
they're going after him.
They're buying bats.

Well, maybe they're
baseball players.

[ sighs ]
Look what they wrote.

"Heading out to Florida to k*ll
that m*therf*cker Wayne."

They're going at him
with bats and sh*t.
We need to help him.

Do you know how many times
I tried to help that kid?

How many times I thought,

"That message
I just gave Wayne
really hit home

"and now he's gonna
turn his life around,"

only to have him
completely ignore me

and remove some kid's teeth
with his knuckles?
Or a trumpet?

I'm done, Orlando.
I'm done.

Florida ain't that far.
We could go together.

-You're the only adult
that he listens to.
- "Go together."

Really? Did Wayne say that?

Not really. I gleaned it.

"Gleaned it." Oh, man.

Look, Orlando,

I'm not about to take
one of my 16-year-old
students on a road trip.

I don't know if you read
the papers lately, but it's
not a popular thing to do.

Well, what do you
got to do anyway?

It's spring break
in, like, two days.

You don't have a wife,
no kids, no girlfriend.
No dogs now.

Everyone knows.
No offense, but...

- You ain't got sh*t.
- Hey, watch your language.

I do have sh*t.

I have a thing,
Mr. Know-it-all.

An important thing, actually.
I do have sh*t.

So, glean that.

Okay, then, what you got?

I have a speech to give
to a bunch of other principals

at a Recharging Hope
with Leadership conference.

Which sounds lame
when I say it
because it is.

Anyway, I gotta to be
in Charlotte for a few days,

so you're gonna have to
leave it to the cops.

Hey, North Carolina is
on the way to Florida.

Look at that,
you know geography.

Look, your buddy Wayne,
in case you haven't noticed,
he can take care of himself.

Me, on the other hand,
I can't even
take care of my dogs.

[ bell rings ]

[ indistinct chatter ]

He stole a key to this bathroom.

Del: So, what's the problem?
It could be fun.

We shouldn't go out there.
People could spot us
or something.

From those pictures?
No one's gonna recognize us.

That picture's so old,
I'm wearing
Osh-Kosh B'-f*cking-gosh.

What's wrong
with staying in here?

We got Corn Nuts.
And the HBO.

"The" HBO?

Our faces are
all over town, I think.

We can't just go around
being friends
with strangers now.

[ indistinct chatter ]

[ girl squeals ]

[ door opens and shuts ]

[ door opens ]

Del: Problem solved.

Here's what we do.

We come up with a cover story.

You know, pretend
we're different people.

Except better than
last night's one.

Well, you lie better than me.
I can't do it.

Everyone lies better than you.
You're like the g*dd*mn
beacon of truth.

So let's try something
a little bit different.

Choose a character
from the last movie you saw

or a book you read or whatever.

Take part of their story,
make it your own.

You think of somebody?

Character or whatever?

Conan?

- O'Brien?
- The Barbarian.

Does Conan even
have a last name?

No, just Conan.

You can't just walk
into a party and be like,

"Oh, hey, what's up?
I'm Conan the Barbarian."

It would be kinda cool though.

Listen, I know
you don't hear this a lot,

but you're thinking too much.

The key with this is to tell
one big, fat, juicy lie.

You know, the important one
you need 'em to believe.

Then, you follow it up
with the tiny,
little weird bullshit.

Details.

You know,
nothing real particular,

but stuff no one
would ever make up.

You wanna try?

Not really.

I'm Angelica. This is...

Uh...

John?

John...

[ stutters ] Wayne?

- [ laughing ]
- John Wayne.

[ laughs ]

Yeah. Yeah, our parents
loved Westerns.

They're in Philadelphia
for a conference.

You know those
tiny little balloons,
they blow up in your arteries

to prevent heart attacks?

Well, they sell those.
To doctors.

Two competing companies
make 'em.

Our parents each work
for one of the companies,

so they're, like, competitors.

My dad had a heart attack.

So, you gonna get bombed
with us or what, John Wayne?

All: John Wayne!

So, I just wanna make sure
I'm hearing this right.

You, the boy's guardian,
is authorizing me,

an adult male
you've never met
before today,

who's never raised
any kids in his life,

to take your grandson
across multiple state lines,

hundreds of miles away
in a shoddy Taurus

to find his friend,
who may or may not
be a criminal.

How much money
you guys need for food?

[ inaudible ]

[ girl screaming ]

Tug: Whoo!

- Nice t*ts!
- [ laughter ]

- Tug: Whoo!
- Del.

[ laughs ]

[ chuckles ] Can we please
switch back now?

Nope, you have to wear it
the whole game.

[ softly ] as*h*le.

I'm in my own private hell.
I don't like this game anymore.

Ryan, no one dared you
to take mushrooms.
You just took mushrooms.

We should go.

We're in the middle
of a game, bro.

Yeah, come on, John Wayne.
Ease up.

Who's next?

Tug: Angelica.

Definitely Angelica.

Emma: Okay.

Truth or dare, b*tch?

Well, uh, I wanna
keep my top on, so...

Tug: Boo!

Truth.

Let's see.
Where's the craziest place
you've ever had sex?

Craziest?

Ah. Jesus.

You gonna have to give me a sec
on this one.

Craziest.

All right.

Ice rink. Summer. Last year.

My house never really had
air conditioning,

so when it was hot,
I used to go there to read.

And this kid, Jimmy Depietro,
had a summer job
cleaning the ice

on one of those big, uh,
Zamboni things.

You know what those are?

Yeah, it was funny 'cause
even though he was two years
older than me,

he still looked like
a little kid behind the wheel
of that big thing.

Anyway, is on a Zamboni
a crazy place to have sex?

[ all clapping ]

Shut it down.
This girl just won
Truth or Dare.

[ chuckles ] All right,
say "Zam-boning"!

- All: Zam-boning!
- [ shutter clicks ]

[ laughter ]

Bob?

Paul: Hey, Tommy!
Bruins tonight!

Probably gonna get smoked again.

Yeah, probably.

[ laughs ]

Mind if we have a chat?

I'd offer you something,
but I don't usually
get visitors.

I think I got some flat soda,
or a banana.

- I'll take a banana.
- Jay.

Wait. Wayne's all right, right?

I solved the case
of your dead dogs.

-I'm sorry?
-Ran down some leads
this afternoon.

Dug up the toxicology reports
from your vet and shared them
with Patricia in Forensics.

Looked up noise reports
from your neighbors.

Found some hospital records.
Ran a few background checks.

I helped with those.

He did.

Long and short of it,
you didn't k*ll your dogs.

Your next-door neighbor did.

- Jay: They were poisoned.
- What?

Jay: Anti-depressants.
SSRls.

His name is all over
the prescription.

The bright side is, they
probably were very happy
before their hearts stopped.

Cheerful.

We still haven't determined
a motive yet, other than
the obvious possibilities.

Your neighbor doesn't like you,

he doesn't like dogs,

or he's just some rotten SOB.

Or he was off his meds
on account that he was
poisoning your dogs with them.

[ breathing heavily ]

So, it wasn't me.

I didn't k*ll them.

Bob f*cking Andrews!
I should have known.

One time my dog
sh*t on his lawn.
One time.

And it was one dog,
it was like four dogs ago.

It was the winter,
I had the flu,
the dog came out,

I was gonna get it,
but it was snowing,
and I forgot.

That c*cksucker!

I believe the...
Your words, "c*cksucker"
you're looking for

is, in fact,
your other neighbor,
one Paul Taylor.

Cole: Paul Taylor?

What the f*ck did I ever
do to that f*cking guy?

I'm nice enough to listen
to him gab on about

his f*cking precious f*cking
Bruins every f*cking day,

he goes and kills
my f*cking dogs?

So now that you've had
the proper amount of time
to process this,

I'd like to talk to you
about something important.

Last time I'm telling you.
Get back in the RV,
and f*cking chill.

You said taking mushrooms
would make me feel good!

[ indistinct chatter ]

Tug: All right, John Wayne,
you've been awful quiet,

and I don't think
you've had a turn yet.

Emma: No, he has not.

Tug: You seem like
a Dare guy.

In fact, I might call p*ssy
if you're not, so...

Truth.

All right, bro.

What's the craziest thing
that ever happened to you?

-Hey, I think we, uh...
-Wayne: A couple
Thanksgivings ago,

I broke my brother's
record player.

- Ooh.
- [ laughs ]

I didn't say anything
'cause I knew he'd go mental,

but he knew it was me right off.

I was asleep when he came in
to give me the first beating.

He was five years
older than me,
so it was pretty bad.

My dad was away on a job,

so there was no one around
to stop him.

And so every time
he'd come home, he'd see
that broken record player,

he'd get mad all over again,

come in, and he'd throw me
another beating.

One night,
I had just about had it,

so I got these handcuffs
I found in the woods,

cuffed him to his bed
before he woke up.

I got a couple of good shots in.

I even broke
the record player for good.

But the cuffs gave out.

Anyway, he threw me
down the stairs,

and I'm guessing he got scared
he k*lled me or something

when I didn't get up
'cause he called an ambulance.

The doctor said I was like
a miracle or something,

'cause I died for like
a whole two minutes.

But I didn't know
what happened 'cause,
well, I was dead, I guess.

[ softly ] sh*t.

Bullshit.

No f*cking way that's true.
It's not even
scientifically possible.

Kick back, dude.
It's just a game.

Yeah, Truth or Dare.
Not Big f*cking Lie or Dare.

He's a f*cking liar.

Geller: Was he a good boy?

Yeah. He was one of
the good ones.

Smarter than he looked.

When he did something wrong,
it took a while
to set him straight,

but that's the truth
about all of them
in one way or another.

I'm gonna miss him.

You don't think
he's coming back?

Coming back?
From what?

Wait, we're talking
about Wayne, right?

I was talking about
Argus, my dog.

[ sighs ]

You know, I've heard
a lot of things
about that boy today.

A lot of them hard to believe.

I guess I'm just asking
what I should believe.

Well, I'm not gonna lie,
a lot of those stories
are true.

You know, if you're gonna
base your investigation

solely on what's in
your police files

and interviews with people
from around this town,

you should probably just go
find him and lock him up
right now.

sh*t, I could've thrown him
out of school two dozen times.

But I gotta tell you something,

that kid has never got a chance.

He got the sh*t-end
of the stick at every turn.

And I can keep trying
to ram life lessons
down his throat,

but until that kid gets one
real break, or a good thing
happening to him...

I don't know.

The world's a cruel place.

f*ck' A right it is, huh?

So how much vacation time
you got saved up?

So, we're doing this or what?

Wayne.

Yeah, listen to your sister.
Don't get yourself k*lled.

Whoo!

Truth or Dare?

Um... Okay. Dare.
What you got?

I dare you to get
that girly bike,

break into one of
them rooms upstairs,

and jump it
through the window,
into that pool.

Yeah, right. I'm not
f*cking doing that.

What was it
you called me earlier?

Emma: A p*ssy?

I'm not doing it.
I'm not a p*ssy,

I'm just not a f*cking idiot.

Just because you're a liar
doesn't mean
I'm gonna do a dare

that no one else in their
right f*cking mind would do.

So stick it up your lying,
piece-of-sh*t townie a*s.

Don't. He's just drunk.

Jake: John Wayne
needs to lighten up.

Emma: Or Tug needs to be
less of a d*ck.

[ indistinct chatter ]

[ dogs barking ]

[ dogs yelping ]

Hey. What's this guy's name?

Volunteer: Oh, I'm not sure
he has one.

The higher-risk animals
tend to move through
the system pretty quick, so...

Hey, bud.

Could I actually interest you
in some of our other dogs?

'Cause this one is
pretty anti-social.

Uh, bite risk,
uh, hates strangers,
unsafe with children.

Hates me a lot, too.

Uh... He's actually scheduled
to be put down.

You believe in
second chances, boy?

All right, I'm gonna
fire up Slap Cup

- Let's get her going.
- Emma: Yes!

So, uh, did your parents
get rich off the
balloon thing or what?

Where are you guys from anyway?

You know,
tell your brother
I think he's a giant p*ssy.

[ glass shattering ]

What the f*ck?

John-f*cking...

Wayne!

[ sputtering ]

[ laughter ]

I think I sh*t my pants.

Hey. Hey!

Hey! Hey, I called the cops.
All of you,
stay where you are.

- Let's go!
- Go, sh*t!

Jesus! This is your idea
of lying low?

- sh*t!
- Go, go, go, go. Go!

[ police sirens blaring ]

Wayne, get down.

Hold it right there!
Right...

[ grunting ]

Come here!

We need to get our stuff.

[ cop speaking indistinctly ]

Anyone else?

[ indistinct chatter ]

Yo! Pick up the pace.

You know I didn't do
what I said I did.

On the Zamboni? Right?

Okay.

Or...

anywhere, actually.

Not that it's
any of your business.

Cop: All right, you're all of
legal drinking age, I take it.

Del: Not that it's
any of my business,

but, jeez, your brother's
a real piece of work, huh?

I can't believe all that.

Wait, was it...

You lied, you sneaky
son of a b*tch.

Look at you.

You're on drugs?
You're on drugs?

Yeah. Just the part about
the record player, though.

I just made that up.

Del: Oh.

So, why was your brother
beating on you
all the time then?

I don't know.

He was just like that.

That was the last time
I saw him.

My dad gave it
to him pretty good
when he came back

and found out I was hurt.

And he left that night.

Heard he joined the Marines
a few weeks later
from a friend.

But I did it though.

I got one past ya.

Yeah.

Yeah, you really did.

[ indistinct chatter ]

If we search that trailer,
we won't find anything?

We need to go.

He's right there.

- That one?
- That kid right there?

Stop! Stop!

Hey. I got you. Come here.

Don't have 'em.
Foot pursuit.

Police!

Run out the window.
Suspects possibly heading
northbound street side.

Take the cruiser around
the back of the hotel.
I'm on foot.

Move out!

- Move out!
- [ car doors closing ]

[ sirens blaring ]

[ tires screeching ]

- [ Wayne grunts ]
- [ Del gasps ]

I know she's pissed in here.

[ dog panting ]

[ dog growling ]

Paul?

- Paul: Who is it?
- You've got a visitor.

[ dog barking ]

Meet Wayne.

- [ Paul screaming ]
- [ dog barking ]

- Orlando. It's Principal Cole.
- [ Paul screaming ]

Be out front by 6:00.

[ dog barking ]

We're going to Florida.

[ Paul screaming ]

Orlando, tell your grandmother
I need 300 bucks.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

What? What's wrong?

She took our money.

- [ sirens wailing in distance ]
- Oh, f*ck.

[ engine revving ]

We gotta go.

f*ck.

[ song playing on radio ]

[ thud ]

[ muttering ]
Oh, f*cking tourists.

It's f*cking game time.

Let's f*ck sh*t up.
[ sighs ]

Let's f*ck some sh*t up, Reggie!

[ grunting ]

[ Reggie whoops ]

[ Reggie laughing ]

[ grunting ]

Reggie: m*therf*cker!
[ grunting ]

f*ck!

[ yelling indistinctly ]

f*ck you!

Reggie: Whoo!

f*ck you!

[ straining ]

Damn! [ grunting ]

m*therf*cker!

[ continues grunting ]

[ glass shattering ]

Del: Next on "Wayne."

I can't believe
that hooker lady robbed us.

We need to get money.

Maybe we could
get jobs or something?

What is it with this Wayne kid?

Just got a gut feeling
about him.

- We'll find him.
- Jay: And her.

My ma taught me how to survive.

Wayne: You're not gonna
steal, right?

Miss. Miss!

How was it?
Your day or whatever?

Wayne: Everyone's not nice
and I think the boss
hates me.

What do they do to 'em?

- [ tires screeching ]
- Eric: f*ck!

You know, I bet he doesn't
even remember our
birthday tomorrow.

- Free hotcakes!
- Free m*therf*cking hotcakes!

Let's kick Daddy's a*s.

Let's kick his f*cking a*s.