01x10 - Chapter Ten: Buckle the F**k Up

[bunniefuu]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[PINS CLATTERING]

FATHER: Jesus Christ, Sean!

What'd I tell you
about being careful
with your g*dd*mn drink?

You're spilling it all over.

Unbelievable.

Take it easy, hon.

FATHER: Don't you go
defending him.

He's soft enough because of you.

Two winners, you are.

I swear to God.

[PINS CLATTERING]

[EXHALES]

Hot chocolate, please.

Coffee.

And a little bit of cream.

My dad's dead.

My mom doesn't want me.

I've got no home.

And now...

Del is gone.

I'm alone.

You thirst for
civilization, boy.

But civilization is unnatural.

A whim of circumstance.

We are barbarians.

And barbarism
must always triumph.

Live deep while you live.

Know the rich juice
of red meat and the stinging
of wine on your palate,

the hot embrace
of many women's arms.

We will live,
we will burn
with life,

we will slay.

Your quest for civilization

is a quest for illusion.

Reject it.

FATHER: God damn it!
What are you...

Are you gonna try to keep it
in the lane there, genius?

I mean, for the love of God,
what are you, stupid?

Don't call him stupid.

He's just a kid.

FATHER: Hey!

What did I tell you?

What the hell did I say?

You know what?
We're leaving.

I'm done with you two
and your endless f*ck-ups.

Get your sh*t.

- [SEAN SOBBING]
- FATHER: Quit your crying and get your sh*t!

I don't know why
I bother with you two.

What? And I'm
the f*cking bad guy?

- Huh?
- It's okay, sweetie. Let's get your shoes on.

I'm the f*cking bad guy?

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

Thanks for not being
a big p*ssy
about all this.

[YELLING]

[SCREAMS]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[HAMMER THUDS]

- [THUDS]
- [TELEPHONE RINGING]

OFFICER: Ocala PD, this is
Officer Burroughs speaking.

Okay.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[MIC FEEDBACK WHINES]

Check one.
One check.
Check. Check.

Checking one.
Check. Check. Check.

Check. Check one.

Check.
Checking one. Check.

Check. Hey.

Come on down!

I told you to stop!

DEPUTY DARREN:
Sorry, Sarge.

Sergeant Geller,
Brockton, Mass. PD.

Hey. Sorry.
Little bit pumped.

Uh, big party tonight.

I bought, uh, balloons,

uh, some yummy candy.

I got this sign made,
rented a karaoke machine.

So, pulling out all the stops.

Yeah, that's very
thoughtful of you.

I'm sure
whoever the party is for
will appreciate that.

Well, the party is for me.
I'm Darren.

Oh, well, if you don't
treat yourself right,
who will? Yeah?

I love that.
I'm going to use that.

Okay.

Everybody here
is a little bit tense

- on account that I shot my partner on accident...
- [EXHALES]

And now, he's in a coma
and I guess nobody has ever

made a mistake
in their life
but me.

So, how can I help you?

I called about
the McCullough boy.

Dropping off some of
his personal effects.

Mind if I have a word with him?

No, no. Be my guest.

And if you want
to stop by later
and maybe hear me...

Lay some Pitbull on them...

Darren.

DEPUTY DARREN:
Yeah, Sarge.

Yeah, I know
he's your brother,
but he's my friend.

At some point
you're gonna have
to forgive me.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

So, uh...

Florida Police have agreed to
transport you back to Brockton
if you'll cooperate.

I'll be waiting on you,
help you sort things.

I know you didn't kidnap
the girl.

There ain't nothing there
for me no more, back home.

What about Del?
She'll be there,
won't she?

You know, her life
is also gonna demand
some restructuring.

Might be nice
to do it together, no?

Start over.

Figure out your life?

Civilization is unnatural.

What's that?

I don't need it.

Any of it.

Anybody.

[SIGHS]

You know, Wayne,

everyone I've met along the way,

on this little journey
to find you,

your principal, Orlando,

that nurse that looked
after your father...

For someone who
considers himself a loner,

you've affected
a lot of people for
the better, you know.

And, no matter how bad
life treated you
or betrayed you,

from where I'm sitting,

everything you do,
it's done out of love.

And despite what
you're telling yourself
right now,

last I checked,
love is civilization.

You're not the barbarian

you imagine yourself to be,
young man.

You don't know me.

[EXHALES]

You know, when I was
ran away from home.

I remember it was summer.
Hot as hell, too.

Which made my parents fight
a little louder and meaner
than normal. [SCOFFS]

One Sunday morning,
I guess to beat the heat,

my old man
turns to us and says,
"We're going to Skate Barn,"

which I knew to be a family
roller skating establishment
out near Randolph.

So, while my remaining sister
and myself taught each other
how to skate,

my parents sat back
at the half wall, not speaking
a word to each other,

drinking lemonade
and smoking cigarettes,

and faking a weak smile
and a thumbs up
every time we would roll by.

[CHUCKLES]

And when we got tired,
we wobbled in, came off
the floor onto the carpet,

and we found that my father
had laced up a pair of skates.

He looks at my mother and says,

"I'm gonna take a turn."

My father was a hard man, Wayne.

He's nobody you would ever
describe as graceful.

[SCOFFS]

But my sister and I
stood at that half wall.

We watched as he just
sort of drifted slowly back
on the hardwood.

He gave us a nod like that
and put his head
over his right shoulder,

got into a crouch,
just enough to push off

like it was in some sort of
g*dd*mn dream.

We watched our father just
explode with pure speed

out into the current
of all those other skaters.

Just weaving effortlessly
in and out of everybody.

And then we watched him
accelerate into
the far corner.

He dropped his shoulder,

and his legs just crossing over
and through each other
like a racehorse like that.

He seemed to know where
everybody was, and his hands
were so beautiful.

Just brushing the air like that.

Here's this man who

tore through life
like a racquetball.

My pop.

Turned Fred Astaire.
[CHUCKLES]

Just in tune with everything.

And then my father
turned around
and doubled his speed,

and came up to that gap
in the wall

and stepped up
onto the carpet
breathing hard.

But I swear to God,

not that hard.
[CHUCKLES]

That night
our mother took us
into the bathroom

and she turned on both sinks
to make a wall of sound,

and she told us
the marriage was over.

And years later, I found out
that, before and between
the wars,

my old man was
a competitive skate dancer,

a different man,

a man who one day
stopped lacing up
those skates

and succumbed to a world
and a family and a life

he may have never wanted
to begin with.

What did your dad do?

After?

Last I heard,

he was selling incense
on the beach somewhere.

I guess what I'm trying
to tell you, Wayne,

is you haven't laced
your skates up yet.

And maybe this madness
will continue, and maybe not.

And who knows,
this sweet Delilah...

Maybe she's
your pair of skates, huh?

[CHUCKLES]

I hope to see you
back home in Brockton, Wayne.

I really do.

[PUMA SNARLING]

Go ahead, little pussycat.

[GROWLS]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Man.

Those animals,
they ain't trained.
People can get hurt.

Oh, yeah? Well, maybe
next time you'll rethink
your return policy, b*tch.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[LUCKY BARKING]

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ!

Where the f*ck is he,
you orange bucket of wine?

Look what you made me do.
You made me drop
my pinot grigio.

Are you kidding me?

Aw, look at the sad drunk.

Costco isn't open today,
you b*tch!

Where the f*ck is he?

- You know, the son you abandoned?
- [SCOFFS]

You f*cking remember him?

You just abandoned him
and you're giving me sh*t?

Go f*ck yourself.

What are you doing?

No...

Don't you dare.

There's a picture of me
and John Stamos on there
that I have not backed up yet.

Where is he?

[SIGHS]

He got arrested.
He's at the
police station.

[STAMMERS]
What did he do?

And if he's there,
what the f*ck
are you doing here?

Look, I didn't ask him
to come here, okay?

You assholes coming down here
and messing with my life!

I got Calvin in jail. Again.
Thank you very f*cking much.

You know what? f*ck this.
Give me your g*dd*mn keys.

To my house? No.

To the car you stole,
you f*cking dunce.

I don't have the keys.
Or the car,
for that matter.

The police took it
when they took Wayne.

Now why don't you guys go
get the f*ck out of here

before I call the cops
because you're trespassing.

You know what? f*ck this.
I'm gonna go get it myself.

Del.

Del!

- [SIGHS]
- [LUCKY WHINES]

Hey.

Who the f*ck are you?

I... I'm Tommy Cole.

From Hagler.
Hagler High?

No, I don't remember you.

- Were you always bald?
- What?

We graduated the same year.
We had, like, a dozen
classes together.

I don't remember you.

Butthole Tommy Cole.

Butthole Tommy Cole!

Hey. [LAUGHS]

Just trying to help.

Butthole Tommy Cole.
Get the f*ck
off my property.

[LUCKY WHINING]

Your dog looks like
it's gonna croak.

Maybe take it
to the woods
or something.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no. Lucky?

[CONTINUES WHINING]

Lucky, are you okay?

- [PANTING]
- COLE: My God, this is not happening.

Okay. Where's the closest
veterinarian?

- Out here?
- Yes.

Yeah, no.
We're in f*ck nowhere.

Oh, you know what?
There is this, uh,
retired animal doctor.

I think he maybe
takes meth for payment?

BOTH: f*cking Florida.

You're not gonna die.

I'm not gonna let you die.

You're gonna be fine,
Lucky, okay?

You're gonna be fine.
It's gonna be okay.

Yo, hold up.

The dog is preggo.

- What?
- You see the n*pples on that thing?

Momma dog's about to have
some puppies.

Yeah, not on my f*cking patio,
it's not.

[SIREN WHOOPS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Ocala Police Station.

- WOMAN: [ON PHONE] There is a Komodo dragon in my yard.
- Wait, what?

A Komodo dragon.
What the hell
is a Komodo dragon?

[TELEPHONES RINGING]

- A puma? No, wait.
- [MAN INDISTINCTLY CHATTERING ON CALL]

I can't understand
what you're saying.

Where are you?

DEPUTY DARREN: A kangaroo?

What? You shot it
or you didn't?

Okay, we'll be right down.

[g*nsh*t ON PHONE]

Was that you sh**ting
the kangaroo just now?

All right, listen, everybody.
We have a full scale 10-91b
in Ocala County.

I need all units
in the parking lot right now.

This is not a drill.
Let's go.

Darren, you hold down the fort.

And keep an eye on that kid.

OFFICER: I got it.

That is some
disgusting-a*s sh*t.

Okay, it says, "Once you see
the grayish sack
falls from the vulva..."

Man, everybody gonna be
throwing up
in this m*therf*cker.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- MAUREEN: Here.

I had to wrestle a Puerto Rican
woman and her daughter
on Black Friday for these,

so don't say I ain't done
nothing good for nobody.

[LUCKY PANTING]

It's okay. Okay.

I'm just gonna
take you down slowly.

I see the grayish sack.

[SQUELCHING]

Oh, hell. No, no, no.

COLE: All right,
all right, everybody,

give her some room!
It's happening!

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Good thing you love soup,
with your jaw being
wired shut and all.

[MUFFLED] Mmm.
Yeah, f*ck you, dude.

Look, I know
that's the drugs
talking, Jay,

but if it means
something to you,
I love you too.

[MUFFLED]
I said f*ck you, dude.

Jesus.

Drugs do not agree
with you, my friend.

Huh. What's going on here?

OFFICER: I need units
in front and back

[SIREN WAILING]

What's the situation?

Bunch of wild animals
running around Ocala.

- We've got reports of a lion, large snakes, an ostrich...
- [ANIMAL SNARLS]

[SCREAMING]
It's a puma!

[PUMA GROWLING]

f*ck! It's a f*cking puma.

It's a f*cking puma.
Help me.

Help me!

f*cking help me!

f*ck!

I was really hoping
for the ostrich.

- Hmm.
- We're gonna need an ambulance at 1078.

[PUMA GROWLS]

OFFICER: I don't want excuses.
Get it done.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

Wait. Who's watching Wayne?

[g*nf*re]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Can I help you with something?

[SUCKS TEETH]
Yeah.

I'd like to get
my 1979 Trans Am.

Oh. Uh...

Vehicle is now
in impound evidence.

It's being shipped back
to Brockton, Massachusetts.

Well, that's all right, then.

Why don't you just go ahead
and call me an ambulance?

For who?

You.

- [GRUNTS]
- [MIC FEEDBACK WHINES]

Get the f*ck out of here.
Talking about impounding
and sh*t.

[SCOFFS]

m*therf*cker.

Oh. Hey, now.

[CHUCKLES]

Wayne.
[SUCKS TEETH]

Reggie.

Tied up like a g*dd*mn animal.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

Hey, you ever watch
Animal Planet?

Did you know that
hyenas don't have
any brothers and sisters?

You know why?

Because when they real small,
in the litter, fighting for
they momma's titty,

well, you see,
the toughest baby hyena,
see, he, uh...

He k*ll his brothers
and sisters.

[RATTLING]

More titty time for hisself.

Now I know you ain't
gonna stop coming
for my car,

so I'm gonna have to
make you stop.

Make sure you don't come back
for that titty.

I don't care
about the car no more.

Bullshit.

I don't.

You can have it.

Are you trying to reverse
my psycholology and sh*t?

Because I ain't biting.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

m*therf*cker.

What the f*ck?
[GRUNTS]

[BOTH CONTINUE GRUNTING]

I'm gonna f*cking k*ll you.

[WAYNE GRUNTS]

I need a knife to cut the cords!

I'm gonna faint.

- Uh...
- I swear to God, this is child abuse, man.

- sh*t.
- ORLANDO: Disgusting.

Okay, if you use these,
then I gotta throw them away,

and I got them off
an infomercial,

so I don't know if
they're avail no more.

I'll buy you a better set!

Everybody's ruining
all my nice things.

[LUCKY WHINING]

Is that a puppy head
coming from out of
a dog's a*s?

It's not a dog's a*s.
That's a...

p*ssy! a*s! b*tch!

[GRUNTING]

REGGIE: I'm gonna f*cking
k*ll you, m*therf*cker.

[GROANING]

m*therf*cker.

[GRUNTING]

[STRUGGLES]

No.

What the f*ck?
[GRUNTS]

f*ck.

[THUDS]

So we're doing this?

Are we doing this?

My d*ck is hard.

Why?

Because...

You know...

You know what I meant.

f*ck you, m*therf*cker!

Let's do this, b*tch.

Okay, there's one.

- Grab it.
- No, don't touch that.

The mother will probably
reject it if it smells you.

Tell her you got to push.

How? I don't know
how to speak dog.

- Just google it.
- [LUCKY WHINES]

Come on, girl.
You gotta fight!
You gotta push.

Push. Push.

Orlando, help me. Push.

- Push.
- Push.

No. No, like a dog.
[BARKING] Push,
push, push.

- Push, push.
- Push, push.

She's doing it. Push. Push.

[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

Hey, you f*cking b*tch.

Show me what you really got.

Sure.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[GRUNTING]

What the f*ck?

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING]

You m*therf*cker!

You're f*cking dead now,
Boston boy.

I'll f*cking k*ll you!

[GRUNTING] Hey!

No biting, b*tch.

[GROANING]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

REGGIE: f*ck you!

[GRUNTS]

[WAYNE GROANING]

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, f*ck yeah!

This puppy isn't breathing
and Lucky's not doing
anything about it.

ORLANDO: It says
this is common. Listen.

- "When a puppy isn't healthy..."
- Yeah.

- "...the mother will reject it."
- No, no, no.

No, no, no.
No doggy deaths today.

Not here. Not now.
Not on my watch.

Tell me what to do.

It just says
the mother will bite
through the amniotic sac.

[LUCKY PANTING]

Oh, sh*t.

What? No.
What are you do... No!

No! No!

No.

- f*ck you.
- Oh, no.

- f*ck you!
- No. f*ck!

- No. No.
- No. No.

ORLANDO: Stop!
That sh*t's nasty, man!

[SCATTING]

No. Stop!

- MAUREEN: Oh, God!
- Don't!

- [GRUNTING]
- [PUPPY WHINING]

Oh, sh*t!

REGGIE: Give me one second,
m*therf*cker. Just looking
for some f*cking b*ll*ts.

[b*ll*ts CLATTERING]

Whoo! Here we go.

f*ck yeah!

- [g*n FIRING]
- [GASPS]

Found 'em!

You're f*cked now, m*therf*cker.

[WAYNE GRUNTING]

This is some f*cking
Call of Duty sh*t right here.

[GRUNTING]

I know what I'm getting myself
for Bad m*therf*ckers Day.

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

♪ I got a man
who makes me wanna k*ll

♪ I got a man
who makes me wanna k*ll

♪ I got a man
who makes me wanna, uh

♪ I got a man
who makes me wanna k*ll ♪

[GAGGING]

Get the f*ck away
from my boyfriend.

[PANTING]

Hey, dummy.

[CHUCKLES] Hey.

Okay.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[DEL GRUNTS]

You're pretty, aren't you?

[GRUNTING]

You shoulda never
f*cked with Reggie.

[FAINT GRUNTING]

REGGIE: [DISTANTLY]
f*cking dead now, b*tch.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[GAGGING]

[GRUNTING]

[DEL STRAINING]

REGGIE:
[IN NORMAL VOICE] What?

[STRAINING]

What was that?

- [COUGHS]
- What are you trying to say?

Suck on Wayne's hammer,
you hillbilly m*therf*cker.

Huh?

[THUDS]

[PANTS AND COUGHS]

You all right?

I'm fine.

Oh, f*ck.

[RETCHES] Oh, f*ck.

[GROANING]

Oh... Your elbow's
out of your arm skin.

[RETCHES] Oh, my God.
That's f*cking disgusting.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Okay, we gotta get out of here.

Car keys are
in his jacket pocket.

f*ck. [GROANS]

I got 'em. Here.

Okay. Come on.
Watch his feet.

[WAYNE BREATHES HEAVILY]

[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]

[DEL GRUNTS]
All right,
careful. Okay.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

- Careful. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- [GROANS]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

We're gonna go to the hospital.

I ain't going to the hospital.
They'll arrest me.

Buckle the f*ck up.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

[PUPPIES WHINING]

[LAUGHING]

I did it.

They're all breathing.
They are all alive.

Thank you, universe.

I'm gonna name all four of you.

Argus,

Artemis,

Amadeus,

Apricot.

[LAUGHS]

You sure are cute, Apricot.

Glad we didn't drown you.

Me, too.

[CHUCKLES]

[PUPPIES WHINING]

You know,
when Wayne was little,
if I left the house,

he would just stand
in the front window
and he would just...

Oh, he will just cry and slobber

- and bang his head against it until I came home.
- [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, even if
I was gone for, like,

four hours or five hours,
he would just
refuse to move.

Mmm-hmm.
[CLICKS TONGUE]

I think Wayne always knew
that I was gonna leave him.

[PUPPIES CONTINUE WHINING]

You know, you could still
be something to him.

Yeah.

Hey.

It's okay, my bad.

Shouldn't have had
all them Percocets.

♪ It's all here

♪ Now, it's all here

♪ Now, it's all here

♪ Now it's always been here

♪ It's all right

♪ Now it's all right ♪

[WHISPERS]
Oh, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Okay.

Okay. Yeah. [SNIFFLES]

Okay, I'm gonna say something,

and I never said it to nobody
but my mom and my dad.

But I'm saying
because I want to,
because I f*cking...

[SIGHING] I f*cking...

Don't you f*cking
laugh at me, okay?

Don't f*cking laugh at me.
I'll be so f*cking...

Don't you f*cking
say it back, either,
because if you say it back

then I'm gonna think you're
saying it because I said it,

and f*ck that sh*t, okay?

You hear me?

Wayne, I f*cking...

I love you, Del.

♪ It's always there with you

♪ You are what I need

Del!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

TEDDY: [DISTANTLY]
Get the door.

Hey, sis.

BOBBY: Put her
on your shoulder.

Easy.

WAYNE: Del...

BOBBY: Got her?

TEDDY: Got her.

Del... [GROANING]

Guess you thought you could
count me out, hmm, handsome?

Think you're Brad f*cking Pitts.

You ain't Brad Pitts.

I ain't that kind
of m*therf*cker.

Hey, what do you say, huh?

Nose for a nose. Hmm?

[WAYNE GROANING]

[TWINS LAUGHING]

BOBBY: Hey, good luck
not dying, m*therf*cker.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

♪ I've been standing up
like a tree

♪ The birds in the sky
made a home out of me

♪ Walking this road
Trying to carry this load

♪ You know sometime
everybody gotta fall down

♪ Say, now, everybody
gotta fall down sometime

♪ Everybody gotta fall

♪ Everybody gotta
fall down sometime

♪ Great God,
everybody gotta fall

♪ You know that your
best friend has also
gotta fall ♪

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Unbelievable.

What the f*ck
you looking at, b*tch?

♪ Everybody that you know

♪ And everybody
that you ever seen
they gotta fall

♪ Gotta fall

♪ Say, now
everybody gotta fall down

♪ Sometime
everybody gotta fall ♪

[CELL DOOR SQUEAKS]

REGGIE: I'll be sh1tting
on you, m*therf*cker!

[WHERE EAGLES DARE PLAYING]

♪ We walk the streets at night

♪ We go where eagles dare

♪ They pick up every movement

♪ They pick up every loser

♪ With jaded eyes and features

♪ You think they really care

♪ I ain't no g*dd*mn
son of a b*tch

♪ You better
think about it, baby

♪ I ain't no g*dd*mn
son of a b*tch

♪ You better
think about it, baby ♪