Zombies on Broadway (1945)

[bunniefuu]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

That's not bad.

- Those publicity guys are doing swell.

- Yeah, boss.

If anybody don't know

about the opening of the Zombie Hut...

...it's not Miles' or Streger's fault.

They're doing all right.

They better.

I got a lot of dough sunk in this layout.

Let's take a look inside.

[PIANO PLAYING

UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC]

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Say, Charlie,

give me a sharp beat on that drum.

- Hello.

- How you doing?

- Swell.

- How does she look?

Not bad. See you later.

- Hi, boys.

- Hi, Ace.

- Glad to see you.

- Stay where you are.

Oh, I see you got one of our circulars.

- Pretty good idea, huh?

- Okay.

You can say that again. When I publicize

anything, it stays publicized.

Brother, I never miss.

Jerry, we had an agreement that after

this, you were gonna say, "We never miss."

- Okay. We never miss.

- That's better.

Ace, in the next month,

anywhere you look in this town...

...backwards, frontwards, sidewards or up,

you're gonna see Zombie Hut.

Yeah, and down too.

Tell him about down.

Uh, I've got an idea to put Zombie Hut

and the opening date on the sidewalks.

Uh-uh. I don't wanna get in any

trouble with the city.

Oh. You see,

your idea for that was no good.

Ace, wanna watch kids run through their

number? We got it down pretty well now.

In a minute. I'm talking business.

- Go get them ready.

- Heh. Thanks.

A real live zombie. You know,

I like that, that's new. I like new stuff.

Nobody's ever had this one before?

Oh, absolutely. Never.

Cross my heart, of course not.

- Nobody's ever even seen one.

ACE: Good, good.

Hey, wait a minute.

If nobody's ever seen one, where are

you guys getting one for the opening?

- That's where you're lucky you got me.

- Us.

Us, for press agents.

- We already got one.

- You have?

Swell. You had me scared there

for a minute.

- Where is he?

- Over there.

JERRY:

Hey, Sam, come over here.

Coming up, boss.

I'm gin. Add them up.

- This it?

- That's it.

You a zombie?

- This the man who's paying my salary?

- Uh-huh.

Then, boss man, I'm a zombie.

Wait a minute. It says here a real zombie.

- What's the idea trying to run in a ringer?

- Who said he's a ringer?

That guy's as phony as paper cigar.

Oh, now you've hurt his feelings.

Yeah. Now, look, Ace,

we wouldn't give you a bum steer.

I said he's a zombie. He's telling you he is.

Can you say he isn't?

I can't say he ain't

an elevator operator, either.

- Would you know a zombie if you saw one?

- No.

All right.

- Would you? Would you?

BENNY: Uh-uh.

- Uh-uh. Not me.

- Neither would I.

There, neither would anyone else.

We say he's a zombie.

And with that makeup on,

he looks like a zombie.

Who can say he isn't

and be able to prove it?

- I don't know.

- Sam is a zombie for 60 bucks a week.

[CHUCKLES]

I guess you're right.

Go back into your grave.

I don't see how they can trip us up on it.

- Keep punching it from every angle.

- We will.

Wait till you see the angle

we got for the radio.

- Radio? Hey, I like that.

- Good.

Yeah, not just plain ordinary radio,

not for the Zombie Hut.

- We're after the biggest spot on air.

- Swell. I don't mind spending dough.

Money?

This ain't gonna cost you a nickel.

No, we went straight

to the biggest commentator on the air.

Uh-huh. Need I, uh, mention his name?

Not if it's who I think you mean.

Uh, Douglas Walker?

Douglas Walker.

What'd you go to that guy for?

He hates me like poison.

MIKE: See? I told you not to go to him.

JERRY: But, boss, be reasonable.

We traded him the exclusive right

on our zombie story just to get a radio plug.

You're nuts. The only show that guy

would plug for me is my funeral.

That, he'd like.

As usual, you're 50 percent right, Ace.

It'd be a pleasure to plug your last rites.

Give me a sense of civic righteousness.

But the boys aren't nuts.

They came to see me...

...and I said that I'd not only plug your

Zombie Hut, I'd keep it up until the opening.

I don't like funny guys.

Why, Ace, I'm not being funny.

Let me have that script, Wimp.

I'll read you tonight's broadcast.

- Gee, that's nice of you, Mr. Walker.

- Here we are.

[WALKER CLEARS THROAT]

"And while I'm on the subject

of public nuisances...

...here is an item

about the biggest of them all, Ace Miller.

I learned today that

this notorious ex-gangster...

...is putting up the money

for a new super nightclub, the Zombie Hut."

- Shall I toss him in the alley, boss?

- Uh, there's more.

"The opening is next month.

To prove that Miller

can't open a club on the level...

...I wanna tell you how he plans to gyp

old John Q. Public."

Uh, maybe that would be

enough to say, Mr. Walker.

Nice plug. Good comedy, huh, Ace?

Shut up. Go ahead, wise guy.

How am I gypping the public?

Just be patient.

"To get a crowd for his classy clip joint...

...he's promised to present

an authentic zombie on opening night."

A zombie.

But take a tip from me, Ace.

That zombie had better be hundred-proof,

24-karat, A-1, unadulterated zombie.

If you know what I mean.

- Don't worry, Ace, we got a zombie.

- Yeah, take it easy.

Why, hello, Sam. How are you?

Fine, Mr. Walker. Just fine.

What happened to you at the stadium

the other night?

That boy sure knocked you cold.

Well, I was thinking about the money

I was gonna win...

...and he done it to me,

and I no longer had the problem.

Well, better luck next time.

Thank you, sir.

You boneheads. You idiots. You morons.

Wait a minute. Publicity is publicity.

- You knuckleheads. You jug-eared imbeciles.

- Jerry is right. Publicity is publicity.

Ten years, I've been trying to get Walker

to lay off me.

Every time he opens his mouth,

he gets me in trouble.

Now, when he's gonna forget about me...

...and I can settle down

to a legitimate layout...

...you guys have to coax him

into yapping about me.

I got an idea, boss.

Brother, I need an idea

to get out of this jam.

The cops find these guys' bodies with a note

saying they committed suicide...

...on account of they were so ashamed

because they couldn't deliver a real zombie.

ACE: Hey, that's a possibility.

- We resign.

- We quit.

- You do not resign and you don't quit.

And that guy Walker does not make

a mug out of me to the tune of 80 grand.

Now get this.

You either produce a real zombie for me

the opening night or I take Gus' idea.

I guess I'd better

think of something, huh?

No, that's what caused all the trouble.

You had to think of a zombie.

You couldn't say a two-headed boy

or an African pinhead.

- Where could you get those?

- A pinhead would've been easy.

I don't know where to start looking

for a zombie.

Wait a minute.

I got a mail-order catalog. Or--

Or maybe it would be faster if we went

to a museum or something, huh?

- I've got it.

- What?

If there's any place we can find a zombie,

it's a museum.

- We're going to a museum.

- That sounds like something I said.

Come on, come on.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

MIKE:

Hey, Jerry, this one's locked too.

Hey, open up, open up.

Anyone inside there?

Open the door.

I know. We wanna get in anyway.

Go ahead, open it up.

But this place is closed.

You can't come in.

You don't have any zombies here,

do you?

- Zombies?

- See, I told you. Come on.

We're gonna look anyway.

Uh, but, gentlemen, wait a minute.

This place is closed.

Look, it says here,

museum closed from 10 to 3.

- Hey, this is quite a place.

- Yeah, it sure is.

- But gentlemen--

- Are you in charge here?

Land sakes, no.

I'm just Worthington, the janitor.

- We're looking for the curator.

- Have we quit looking for the zombie?

- The curator is the guy in charge here.

- Oh, I see.

Oh, that's Professor Hopkins.

But it's after hours.

You mean, he isn't here?

Yes, he's here,

working down in the assembly room.

Can we see him?

We're, uh-- We're fellow scientists.

- Scientists?

- Yeah.

Oh, that's different.

You can see him, all right.

Right down this way.

If you wanna go down

among all them bones and skeletons.

Bones and skeletons?

Mm-hm.

Say, Jerry, can't we just sort of, uh,

wait until he finishes with his work?

What's the matter?

You act like you're scared.

Who, me, scared? No, I just don't

wanna disturb the gentleman.

Anyhow, I don't mind waiting

until he comes out.

Sometimes he don't come out

for days and days.

I declare, that man does love skeletons.

Right this way, gentlemen.

Uh, you first.

- Me?

JERRY: Uh-huh.

Oh, me.

This way.

My, my.

Ain't this just about the creepiest place

you ever did see?

Brr!

Never mind that brr business.

Where's the, uh, cuticle or the

clavicle or whatever you call him?

- The curator.

- Oh, yeah.

He ain't far.

Oh, professor?

Oh, Professor Hopkins?

HOPKINS:

Yes?

Did someone call me?

Uh, yes, sir. There-- There's

two gentlemen here to see you, sir.

Is that the professor?

- I'm Professor Hopkins.

- Oh.

- I hope I haven' t kept you waiting.

- Oh, no.

- Uh, professor, I'm Jerry Miles.

- How do you do?

This is my assistant, Mike Streger.

- How do you do?

- How do you do?

One moment, while I hang this up.

Won't you sit down, gentlemen?

Oh, yeah, sure. Thank you.

- Now, what can I do for you?

- You see, we're looking for an old--

Ouch!

An old "ouch?"

Uh, no, you see, we're scientists,

and we're entering a new field of research.

- We thought maybe you could help us.

- Well, what field is it, gentlemen?

Um, zombies.

- Zombies?

- Uh-huh.

Zombies.

But do you know what zombies are?

- No, I don't.

- I'm not too sure.

- Me neither.

- They are the living dead.

- Oh, me, oh, my.

- Worthington, come back here.

Then please, don't say

that living dead stuff, boss.

I'm one of the living living.

But you gives me the feeling that if I stays

here, I'm gonna be one of the dead dead.

- Yeah. I'm getting out of here too.

- Sit down. What's the matter with you?

Yes, don't be nervous.

Perhaps I can help you.

You mean you can get us a zombie?

Well, no, uh, but a chap I went to

school with many, many years ago...

...made a great study of them.

A great study.

Yeah? What's his name?

His name was Dr. Renault.

Dr. Paul Renault.

Over 25 years ago...

...he went to the only place

where zombies were known to exist.

On the island of San Sebastian,

one of the smaller Virgin Islands.

But I haven't heard from him since.

Oh, well, we don't wanna disturb him...

- ...do we, Jerry?

- Shh.

HOPKINS:

I don't know whether he's alive or dead.

But if he's alive,

he can tell you what you want to know.

Go to San Sebastian.

Paul can help you.

JERRY:

Well, what's this Paul like if he is alive?

HOPKINS:

A great scientist.

Yes, some people said he was crazy.

I don't think he was crazy.

Well, not very crazy, anyway.

Uh, not very crazy?

Oh, help, it's got me!

Take it off me. What is that?

Cleo. Cleo, my poor dear.

Are you all right?

Did you hurt yourself?

Why, you naughty girl.

You might have broken your tibia,

popping out like that.

- Cleo is really very sweet.

- Cleo?

Say, that couldn't be the same Cleo

I had out Sunday, could it?

No, this one's better looking.

We better get out of here. We've taken up

enough of the professor's time.

Oh, not at all, gentlemen.

And if you go to San Sebastian...

...be sure and give my regards

to Dr. Renault, uh, if he's still alive.

Oh, sure, if he's still alive.

- Thanks for everything. Goodbye.

- Eh, goodbye.

Good luck, gentlemen.

If I can ever be of any further service,

come and see me.

MIKE:

Oh, sure, we will.

Weird fellows, aren't they?

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

- That's all, brother.

- Where do we go from here?

- Home and pack.

- Pack? Hey, wait a minute.

You mean, we're going to San Sebastian

where that crazy professor disappeared?

No, we're going to California

before we disappear in the Hudson River.

Our search for a zombie began

and ended right there in that boneyard.

Brother, if he hasn't got a zombie,

nobody has.

We need a little trip, anyway. California

is gonna look mighty nice this time of year.

Yes, sir. Open wide those Golden Gates.

- San Francisco, here we come.

- You said it. Go and get the bags.

- I never did care for that job anyway.

- Yeah, he was too hard to get along with.

MIKE:

Uh, Jerry, shall we pack all of our stuff?

JERRY: Oh, sure.

No telling when we're coming back, if ever.

How do you like the nerve of that guy

wanting a real zombie?

Who does he think he is?

Yeah. Even if we had a real zombie...

...we wouldn't waste it

on a joint like that zombie club.

I should say not.

He's gonna be mad

when he finds out we resigned, though.

- Yeah, so what?

- Ah, he's got a nasty disposition.

Matches his face. Ah.

What if he doesn't like it? So what?

There's nothing wrong with Ace that

a good punch in the nose wouldn't fix and--

Right.

You know, if I had the time, I'd go over

and poke him myself before we left town.

Jerry, I don't like the way

that guy talks to us.

As a matter of fact,

I don't like anything about him.

[GASPS]

[SIGHS]

- Ace.

- Hi, kid.

Fine. We were just talking about you.

Yeah, I know, I know.

I ain't hard of hearing.

- Glad to see you're packing.

JERRY: You are?

Uh-huh. You're leaving on a little boat

trip tonight for San Sebastian Island.

You haven't got much time.

How did you find out

about San Sebastian?

Benny trailed you to the museum.

Now, be sure and pick me out

a nice-looking zombie, won't you, boys?

Uh-huh.

One about, uh, your size, Jerry.

Goodbye now. See you later.

- Goodbye.

- Thanks, very much.

Oh, uh, Benny and Gus'll drive you

to the boat.

They just stopped off to get you

some candy and, uh, some flowers.

Oh, that was very thoughtful of them,

wasn't it, Mike?

- Yes, it-- It was.

- Yes.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Come on, make it snappy.

Would you fellows mind waiting

while I buy some cigars for the trip?

There's cigars right in that package.

And cigarettes and some magazines...

...and some candy.

Everything to make your trip real nice.

[HORN HONKS]

ATTENDANT:

Your tickets, sir.

Oh, thanks.

- Well, so long, Mike. Good luck.

- So long.

[JOY BUZZER ZAPPING]

[MIKE GASPS]

Don't do that. You know I can't stand it.

Come on. Get going, get going.

And look, you guys, no tricks.

You be on that boat when it gets back and

have that zombie in person, in the flesh...

...in the pink or whatever an A-number-one,

first-class zombie comes in, understand?

Uh-huh.

[HORN HONKS]

[BELL CLANGS]

San Sebastian.

Is it a nice place?

[CHUCKLES]

To an undertaker,

a cemetery is a nice place.

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY]

- How do you like it?

- Ah, it's kind of nice.

Well, let's go.

Might as well leave your heavy stuff.

You won't need it. We'll be coming back.

Oh, good idea, captain.

Put your bag down, Mike.

Here, carry mine.

There, that's better.

I've always wanted to see

a tropical island.

Yeah, maybe if we can't find a zombie,

we can stay here, huh?

Hey, look at the scenery.

What do you know?

I'm not even scared anymore.

- Remember, we're looking for a zombie.

- Oh, yeah.

[SINGING] The calypso singer is here

To welcome you

Because he knows it's the thing to do

The visitors, when they look around

Are happy with the beauty

Of this island town

The coconut palm and the banana tree

And the pretty girls are what they see

And the visitors are happy all the while

Because it's their dream of a tropical isle

A joy supreme

This is the island of golden dreams

[MIKE & JERRY CHUCKLE]

Chamber of commerce.

Very good, bud, very good.

Yeah, it's kind of cute. Thanks a lot.

See you around.

[SINGING]

But the visitors would not so happy be

If they could see what's behind the tree

If they could see the eyes

Which are watching them

They would leave this island of evil men

But if they wait till the full moon comes

To shine on the hands

On the voodoo drums

Their chance to leave may come too late

And blood on the ground

Will mark their fate

Oh, too late

Blood on the ground will mark their fate

Let me know where they stay

and what they do.

Tell Dr. Renault I'm through.

This is the last time.

The cops in the States have me spotted.

The doctor is not unappreciative.

You can stay on the island if you like.

Ha, thanks. I'll take my chances

with the cops.

[DOGS BARKING]

[SNARLING AND BARKING]

Dr. Renault.

RENAULT:

Yes, what is it?

JOSEPH:

The package. It was on the boat.

The package.

- My thermaldiocene?

JOSEPH: Yes, doctor.

Oh, good.

Good.

This has got to work.

It's got to.

Wasn't the last experiment

a success, doctor?

Success?

Come, I'll show you.

They are covering up

my latest experiment.

Oh, what is wrong?

What is wrong?

How can the natives do,

with their silly voodoo...

...what I cannot accomplish

by scientific means?

Perhaps because a zombie is something

of the devil, not of science, doctor.

Nonsense. Nonsense.

You've seen what I've been able to do.

You've seen me create a zombie.

If only I could keep them in that state.

If only they didn't die

or return to normal in a short period.

This thermaldiocene must be the answer.

I hope so, doctor.

Now I must have some new subjects.

I'll send Kolaga.

RENAULT:

Look at Kolaga here.

Nearly 20 years ago,

I took him from the natives...

...and still no sign

of disintegration whatsoever.

What they can do, I can do.

Kolaga, I want new subjects.

And not natives.

When you get one, report to Joseph.

You will obey Joseph.

Now go.

[BAND PLAYING SALSA MUSIC]

Gentlemen.

- What are you going to have?

- Uh, I'll have a rum punch.

Uh, I think I'll have something tripical.

You mean tropical.

No, I mean tripical.

I'll have a tripical rum punch.

I'm thirsty.

[SINGING "QUE CHICA"]

Hey, she's good looking.

[BAND PLAYING RUMBA MUSIC]

- Have one?

- Thanks.

Two rum punches. One triple.

- Find out what those two want.

- Okay, boss.

- You come in on the boat today, no?

- Uh, yes.

- You are here for pleasure, yes?

- No, business.

Oh, business.

You are going to buy something, no?

- Yes?

- Well, maybe, if the price is right.

Bananas, yes?

- No.

- Coconuts, yes?

- No.

- Then, tobacco, no?

- Yes?

- No.

- Tell him, maybe he can help us.

- I don't think we should.

If word gets around,

they'll boost the price up.

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that.

But we gotta tell somebody. This guy

don't look like no businessman to me.

He's right. I am a terrible businessman.

I tell nobody nothing.

- What do you think?

- What can we lose?

[WHISPERS]

We're here for a zombie.

No, no, no!

- No, no, no!

- What's the idea, scaring my waiter?

We didn't do anything to him.

No, he just asked us our business.

Jerry told him.

- That's right.

- I think he's a secret drinker.

- And what is your business?

- We're looking for a zombie.

MIKE:

Yeah. In good condition.

- You're fools to joke about a thing like this.

- Mister, it's no joke.

No, we really gotta have one.

You're crazy, both of you.

There's no such thing.

Even to speak of it is death.

I must talk to you.

How can he talk to you

if you cut his throat?

What do you suppose she wants?

I don't know,

but I'm not waiting to find out.

[GASPS]

On second thought,

maybe we'd better wait.

Uh, won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Say, what's the idea of all of this?

You're looking for a zombie?

Yeah. Doesn't that word scare you?

- No.

- Well, it's beginning to scare me.

The only thing that scares me

is being stranded on this island.

When your boat leaves,

there isn't another one for six months.

- There are worse things here than zombies.

- But there are zombies?

JEAN:

I'm not sure, but I think....

- Say, if I help you, will you help me?

- Yeah.

You should find out

what her problem is first.

- Just see that I get on that boat.

- Will you help us find a zombie?

- I'll try.

- You know where they keep them in stock?

No, but I've heard a lot of talk

since I came here two years ago.

Every time there's a full moon,

those voodoo drums start beating.

They nearly drive me crazy.

They have something to do with zombies.

I know that much.

I think I can lead you to them.

You lead Jerry to them.

I'll stay and watch this end.

- Oh, be quiet.

- I'll go change. I'll be right back.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Will you stop trying to ride piggyback?

But, Jerry, I'm scared.

Hey, we're lucky.

There's a full moon tonight.

Listen.

[DRUMS BEATING IN DISTANCE]

Those are voodoo drums.

That's the death beat you hear.

- We'll have to hurry.

- How will we know a zombie if we see one?

If you see a corpse walking around,

that's a zombie.

MIKE:

Ouch! Oh!

JEAN: Are you hurt?

- My foot, my foot. It's got my foot.

That's nothing but a skull.

Nothing but a skull?

I'd rather see anything but a skull.

Oh, that's a voodoo symbol.

They call it an ovanga.

- We're on the right trail. Come on.

- Here.

Ooh.

Jerry. Jerry, I'm tired. I wanna go home.

Oh, buck up. Be a man.

It can't be much further.

Those voodoo drums are closer.

You said it was like taking

a walk in the park.

Well, this is like a park.

[BIRDS SCREECH

THEN MIKE SCREAMS]

Jerry. Jerry, run!

How can I run?

You've both got me anchored here.

What was it?

[SCREECHES]

Oh, it was nothing.

Nothing to worry about.

Oh, had me scared for a second.

Oh, don't you worry.

I'll take care of you.

Oh.

You go on ahead, if you're scared.

I don't know whether that's better

or worse.

Help! Help!

- Jerry, it's a lion. A lion.

- Oh, don't be scared.

It's dead. It can't hurt you.

It's another symbol. We're getting closer.

- Jean, have you ever seen a zombie?

- No.

Why, if we were even caught watching

them, it'd mean death for all of us.

Hey, wait for me.

Jerry.

Hey, quit pushing.

Cut it out, will you?

Jerry. Jer--

Say, will you cut it out?

I'm trying to find--

[GASPS]

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

Those drums are getting closer now.

Come on, Mike.

Don't be a slowpoke.

Gosh, your hand is cold.

Now, don't go doing any worrying.

If you see a zombie,

just grab him and turn him over to me.

Told you I'd take care of everything.

JERRY: In a few minutes,

we'll have a zombie right in our hands.

Oh, Mike.

Hey, what's the idea?

Hey, Mike, what'd you let go for?

- Mike.

MIKE: Jerry.

What did you turn back for?

I didn't turn back.

Jerry, I saw one.

- You saw one what?

- A zombie.

He knocked me down over there.

You're crazy. I had you by the wrist,

when you turned and ran.

- No, you didn't have me by the wrist.

- I did.

This is no time to argue.

We gotta catch up with Jean.

Jerry, please believe me.

I saw a zombie, a dead man walking.

You didn't see anything.

I was with you all the time.

And if you did see a zombie,

why didn't you grab him?

That's what we're looking for.

Now, come on.

[DRUMS BEATING NEARBY]

[DRUMS BEATING]

Jerry, Mike, look.

Those natives with the spears,

they're hill natives.

They're dangerous.

- We gotta get closer.

- I was thinking we should get farther away.

[NATIVE YELLS]

What do we do now?

We'd better get in that hut over there.

Hurry up.

[DRUMMING CONTINUES]

I got a hunch

there's a zombie in that box.

I hope I never find out.

[SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

- Jerry, they're coming after us.

- They don't even know we're here.

But we better hide anyway. Come on.

I'm glad Jean stayed behind.

Hey, let's get in here.

[MONKEYS GIBBERING]

- Oh, pygmies. We're trapped.

- They're nothing but monkeys.

- There's not enough room for the two of us.

- I know it.

Oh.

[GIBBERING]

[MAN SPEAKING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[DRUMMING CONTINUES]

[NATIVES SHOUTING]

[NATIVES CHANTING AND SHOUTING]

[CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

Ah!

[CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]

[MIKE YELLING]

[NATIVES SCREAMING]

[NATIVES SHOUTING]

Run. Run, Jerry, run.

Faster. Faster, boy.

Run.

Boy, I hope he makes it.

Is he fa--?

[GASPS]

Zombie!

[NATIVES SHOUTING]

[SCREAMING]

- Mike.

- Jerry.

I just saw another zombie.

Over there.

You're so scared you turned black.

Black? Oh, no, that's soot I put on.

- You know, you look better that way.

- Thanks. Oh.

- They're coming back again.

- I'm gonna get in the basket this time.

No, no, we gotta get out of here quick.

Come on.

[DRUMS BEATING]

[NATIVES SHOUTING]

- They're getting closer.

- And we're getting no place fast.

Hey, it's darker in there.

Let's go that way.

Get up, get up. This is no time to rest.

Hey, what do you know? A wall.

- Come here, move over, boost me up.

- Okay.

If we can see what's on the other side

of this thing, we're safe.

MIKE: What do you see, Jerry?

JERRY: Boy, we're in luck. It's a house.

How about Jean?

Do you think she's safe?

Oh, sure, don't worry about her.

She knows her way around these woods.

JOSEPH:

She's coming out of it, doctor.

Maybe you should give her

another sedative.

No.

I'm ready to give her the serum.

It seems a shame to make

such a beautiful girl into a zombie.

RENAULT:

She will be just as nice to look at.

And if this formula works,

her beauty will be preserved indefinitely.

[DOGS BARKING]

- What's the matter with the dogs?

- There may be someone in the grounds.

Everything is ready and--

- See who it is.

- Yes, all right.

[DOGS BARKING]

What's the matter with the fool dogs?

I don't know. They must have chased

an animal up the tree.

JOSEPH:

Here, take them away.

- Hello.

- Greetings, friend.

Come on down.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, yes.

Hope you got a license for those dogs.

I'm gonna report them.

They're very unfriendly.

- What are you doing here?

- Well, we just thought that--

Oh, you're the two

who came on the boat.

Yes. And if you'll lead us back to the boat,

we'll be the two who are leaving on it.

Oh, but this is a very pleasant surprise.

MIKE: It is?

- Yeah.

I looked all over town for you tonight

to invite you here.

You did? Well, we had a couple

of other calls to make first.

Oh, but now that you are here,

everything is all right.

- Uh, won't you come inside?

- Oh, sure.

- Follow me.

- Thank you.

Dr. Renault will be very pleased

to see you.

- Dr. Renault?

- Did you say Dr. Renault?

- Is he the guy who knows about zombies?

- Is he alive?

He was a few minutes ago.

But if he knows anything about zombies,

he doesn't tell me.

- Uh, is he all right?

- What do you mean?

What does he do around here?

Dr. Renault is on the island to study

a blight which affects banana trees.

Oh.

Won't you go in, gentlemen?

Oh, thank you.

[GASPS]

- Oh, thank you.

- Thank you very much.

- Good evening, gentlemen.

JERRY: Oh.

This is Dr. Renault.

How do you do, Dr, Renault?

I'm Jerry Miles and this is Mike Streger.

Welcome to San Sebastian Castle.

These are the two subjects

I was telling you about, doctor.

They got lost in the jungle

and came here by themselves.

Subjects? Subjects for what?

Everyone on this island

is referred to as a subject of the king.

- Oh.

- Ain't it a coincidence?

Professor Hopkins at the, uh,

museum in New York...

...told us to look you up,

and here we are.

- Professor Hopkins?

- Uh-huh.

Is he a friend of yours?

Oh, yeah, sure.

We're pals. Uh, we're just like that:

I hate him.

Oh, well. We didn't care

very much for him either.

He's a weird fellow.

Uh, we're doing some research on

zombies, and he said you could help.

The fool.

I know nothing about zombies.

I came here to study

a strange coconut blight.

Coconut blight?

He said it was a banana blight.

Oh, Joseph is color blind.

- Won't you come into the sitting room?

- Oh, yeah.

Nice place you have here.

Yeah, cozy, ain't it?

Doctor, I can't understand it.

Professor Hopkins said you had made

a great study of zombies.

Hopkins always was strange.

People said he was crazy,

but I don't think he was crazy.

Not very crazy, anyway.

- Not very crazy?

- No.

Now make yourselves comfortable,

gentlemen, and we'll visit later.

If you will excuse me,

I have some laboratory work to finish.

Laboratory work?

Anything we can help with?

There's nothing I can help with.

There may be something later.

- Joseph.

JOSEPH: Yes, doctor.

Uh, I won't be long, gentlemen.

- Oh, that's all right.

- Yeah, yeah, take your time.

It occurred to me, Joseph...

...I will not want these guests

to return to the States with word...

...that I am still alive and working.

Would it not be better if I used them for

my experimental shots with the new serum?

If it doesn't work,

we have the girl for further tests.

- A good thought.

- Thank you, doctor.

Though I question your scientific interest

in the girl.

- What will I do with these two?

- I don't care.

Just keep them out of my way.

Or better yet...

...have them dig a couple of graves

for themselves in case this experiment fails.

[WHISTLING]

- How tall are you?

- Uh, five-foot-nine.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

You're an unusual shape.

Uh, do you mind lying down here?

Oh, no. Not at all.

Hey, what's my shape got to do with it?

And what's these holes for anyway?

JERRY:

Why must you be so suspicious?

What kind of a guest are you?

The doctor said he needed some holes

to plant some stuff in.

The least we can do is dig them.

Don't be ungracious about it.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- You may get up now.

- Oh, thank you.

When you get finished, come on inside

and I'll show you where you sleep tonight.

Oh, fine, thanks.

Hey, Mike, he's a nice feller, isn't he?

Yeah, he's all right.

But, you know, Jerry,

I don't think that doctor's right.

How do you mean?

Well, I don't think this is the right season

to plant things.

Ah, he's probably planting

something a little unusual.

Anyway, the exercise will do you good.

Why, you'll sleep like a top.

Come on, let's dig.

[BOTH HUMMING]

[PANTS]

I can't understand

what's taking me so long.

I've thrown more dirt out of here

than was in here when I started.

What did you say?

Why, you idiot, you're throwing

the dirt out of your hole into mine.

Gee, I'm sorry, Jerry.

I was wondering where it was all going.

Don't you think these things

are deep enough yet?

No, we gotta go deeper.

The doctor said 8 feet.

Okay, but I sure am getting tired.

[YELLS]

[GASPING]

[PANTING]

Jerry! Jerry!

Jerry! Jerry!

Run, Jerry, run!

[GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

Hey, what are you doing over there?

You're making more noise

digging that hole...

...than they did digging

the Panama Canal.

[MIKE GROANING]

How you ever gonna get that dug

if you lie down?

Jerry. Jerry, I saw him again.

- You saw who?

- The zombie.

The same one I saw back in the jungle.

I mean, the-- The first one

I saw in the jungle.

You're crazy. There wasn't any zombie

back there in the jungle.

And there isn't any down there, unless

he's a m*dget and you're sitting on him.

Come on, I'll help you out.

You dug too much. You got too tired.

[MIKE GASPING]

I know it sounds like I'm crazy,

but I'm not.

- I really saw him.

- Where did you see him?

I fell through the bottom of that hole

and I landed some place in the castle.

And then I saw the zombie.

He sat up in a coffin.

Then I ran up some stairs

and I came through that door up there.

- What door?

- The one right up there.

- It's gone.

- It was never there.

Hey, what did you do?

Hit yourself in the head with a shovel?

What's the matter?

Is-- Is there anything wrong?

Oh, no, everything's all right.

My partner here worked a little too hard.

He had a stroke.

He thinks he saw a zombie

in a coffin inside the castle.

I know I saw one.

- Good night's rest will fix him up.

- I understand.

I'll show you to your room

and you can see Dr. Renault in the morning.

Oh, if you like, I'll have the doctor

give you something to make you sleep.

That's a good idea. I think he overdid it.

No, no. I don't wanna go to sleep.

I'm gonna keep my eyes open

around this place.

All right, Mike, anything you say.

Anything you say, Mike.

- Joseph?

- Yes, doctor.

- Where are our visitors?

- I put them in the guest room.

- They're ready whenever you want them.

- Good. Good.

RENAULT:

Come, Kolaga.

That fat one fell through an old trapdoor

into the passageway while digging.

He saw Kolaga sitting up in the coffin.

Then we had better take him first.

Later, have Kolaga fill in that grave...

...to prevent someone else

falling through the trapdoor.

I don't want anyone getting hurt.

Kolaga, bring the one called Mike.

Jerry.

Isn't it nice of Dr. Renault

to keep nightgowns for his guests?

It sure is.

But I wonder why they tie up in the back.

I don't know. Go to sleep.

Okay, but I hope I don't dream

about those zombies I saw.

Now, look, you didn't see any zombies.

Why would I say I saw a zombie

if I didn't?

I don't know that, but I do know this.

I was with you all evening,

and I didn't see zombies.

And you say you saw a zombie

in the castle.

Mike, it just doesn't make sense.

Jerry, I know it doesn't

make sense, but....

Jerry. Jerry!

- Now what?

- There.

- There, it's him.

- What's him?

The zombie, over there.

Hey, I gotta get you to a good doctor.

There's nothing there.

Well, it was there a minute ago,

standing 20 feet tall and reaching for me.

I saw him, Jerry.

I couldn't dream a thing like that.

He came through that wall over there.

Now, wait a minute,

I'm getting tired of this.

You're even making me nervous.

If you open your yap again

about a zombie...

...I'm gonna make you sleep

in another room by yourself.

Oh, no. Please, Jerry, don't say that.

I get awfully scared when I'm by myself.

I won't say another word, honestly.

I promise you, I won't.

All right, let's get some sleep.

Okay, I'll try my best.

Why does everything

have to happen to me?

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

I'm sorry if it seemed

like I was picking on you.

But I just can't understand you tonight.

You're not the same old Mike.

No, sir, you're changing.

[GASPS]

Mike, what happened?

Oh, what am I saying?

Mike? Mike?

I guess he went down the hall

to look the place over.

He's sure nervous.

What am I telling it to you for?

Well, I might as well get some sleep.

Maybe he went down to see the doctor

to get a sedative.

Yeah, that must be it.

Good night.

[GIBBERS]

Good. Good.

No pulse whatsoever.

It works much faster

than any I have used before.

I hope it lasts.

Oh, I hope it lasts.

Joseph, unstrap him.

Sit up.

A very fine subject, doctor.

They're all fine for a few days,

but we'll see.

Get down and go to your room.

Kolaga, bring the other one.

JEAN:

Help! Help!

Keep that girl quiet.

Help!

- I'll have to tie you up.

- Aah!

[JERRY SNORING]

Oh, you're back, huh, Mike?

I've been lying here worrying about you.

Thought maybe I hurt your feelings.

It's okay. You go ahead.

Keep talking about seeing zombies

if you want to.

But mind you, I don't think you saw any.

[GASPS]

Now, wait a minute. Who are you?

What do you want?

[YELLING]

Help, Mike!

Mike, save me. Mike.

I believe you now. Mike, please.

Please, Mike.

Oh, can't you hear me, Mike?

Mike, oh, help. Oh!

That's all, Kolaga.

Go fill in the grave above trapdoor.

There's no need for you to be afraid.

The serum is entirely painless.

Oh, you probably saw your friend

and wondered what's wrong with him.

There's no harm in telling you now.

He's in a state of suspended animation,

technically speaking.

That is, he's capable of functioning...

...only under thought suggestions

not his own.

To put it more simply...

...he is a zombie.

In a few moments, you too will be one.

You're advancing science.

You're a great help to me in my research.

Great help.

[MONKEY GIBBERING]

[RENAULT YELLS]

[GIBBERING]

[YELLS]

[GIBBERING]

- Stop.

- Run, Jean.

You can't get away.

You'll never get away alive.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Now you'll die.

Too bad you resisted.

Ah, too bad I resisted, huh?

Too bad you didn't know

what a punch I pack.

Oh, brother.

Come on, hurry up. Quick.

Go upstairs, quick.

[YELLS]

Jerry.

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was Renault.

Jerry. Jerry.

I will attend to reviving him.

Hmm.

You have done me a great service.

- I thought I was hitting you.

- Naturally.

You may go upstairs.

And don't try to escape.

The dogs would tear you to bits

before you could cross the grounds.

Kolaga will help me with your friend.

Kolaga.

Come, Kolaga.

Dr. Renault.

Yes, what is it?

[JERRY GRUNTS]

RENAULT:

Joseph! Kolaga!

k*ll, Kolaga. k*ll, Kolaga.

All right, Dr. Renault.

Kolaga. Kolaga.

k*ll, Kolaga.

k*ll. k*ll, Kolaga.

We gotta get Mike.

Wait here. We won't be a minute.

All right, hurry.

All right, Jean. All set.

[DOGS BARKING]

[DOGS WHINE]

Well, say. What's the matter with them?

Do I look that ferocious?

No, it's Mike. They know he's a zombie.

Oh, a zombie is a handy thing

to have along on these trips.

Walk, Mike.

[BOAT HORN HONKS]

- The boat.

- Yeah.

It looks like it's getting ready to leave.

We gotta get on it.

Oh, wait a minute, those are the guys

we interrupted at the voodoo party.

- We gotta make a run for it.

- It's no use, we'd never get past them.

No. No, Mike.

[NATIVES CHATTERING]

[ALL YELLING]

ALL:

Zombie.

Zombie.

Zombie. Zombie.

Zombie. Zombie.

Zombie.

NATIVE 1: The walking dead.

ALL: Zombie.

Zombie.

- Zombie.

NATIVE 2: The walking dead.

ALL:

Zombie.

Zombie. Zombie.

- Say, skipper.

- Yes?

Would you mind sending

a cablegram to New York?

No, not at all.

- Nice day, isn't it?

- Lovely.

Here you are. Thanks.

You're welcome.

- Comfy?

- Mm-hm.

- Are you?

- Mm-hm.

Douglas Walker talking.

Exclusive. New York.

My candidate for the most nervous man

of the week...

...Ace Miller, who promised New Yorkers

he would produce a genuine zombie...

...at the opening

of his new Zombie Hut tonight.

[OVER RADIO] I'll be there,

and what a laugh I'm going to have.

What a laugh I could have if I could get

my hands on those two press agents.

Why don't I hear from them?

Why don't I hear from them?

[BAND PLAYING

EXOTIC SWING MUSIC]

- I wanna see that zombie.

- What a gag.

If they really have one,

I'll faint right in my tracks.

- Those guys shown up yet?

- No.

Hi, Gus. Hi, Benny.

Hi, Jerry.

Uh, is this the canary you mentioned?

Yeah. Jean LaDance, Gus and Benny.

- Ha, glad to know you.

- How do you do?

And good old Mike. Ha, ha.

How are you?

Hey, what's the matter with him?

- Stinko?

JERRY: No.

And where's the it? The whatchamacallit?

The zombie?

Wait a minute, Gus, they got one.

There it is.

[GIBBERS]

GUS: What are you giving me?

That organ grinder's ape ain't no zombie.

Now, take it easy, Gus.

The monkey isn't a zombie, it's Mike.

GUS & BENNY: Mike?

JERRY: Yes.

Oh, I don't know

what I'm gonna do with you.

Ace told us not to bother bringing you back

unless you had that zombie.

And this is just as good a place

as any to lose you.

Now, don't be a sap.

I'm telling you, he's a zombie.

We'd better get to that opening

as fast as we can.

- All right, then, get him in the car.

- Okay.

Walk, Mike.

- What do you think?

- We'd better make sure. I'll give the buzzer.

- Yeah, I'll make with the hot foot.

- Yeah.

Okay, Mike. Sorry I doubted you.

Shake.

[JOY BUZZER ZAPPING]

He don't even feel right.

We'll find out.

- Hot foot?

- Uh-uh.

Hot hand. Stick out your hand, Mike.

[WHISPERS]

Mike, put the matches in Gus' pocket.

[GROANS]

CROWD:

We want a zombie!

We want a zombie!

We want a zombie!

[CROWD CONTINUES SHOUTING]

- When those guys show up, let me know.

- Okay.

JERRY:

Walk, Mike.

Walk. Up.

JERRY:

Walk, Mike.

Straight ahead.

Stop. Turn around.

Sit down, Mike.

Uh, you wait here, sir.

I'll tell Ace you're here.

- Uh, stick around with them.

- Huh?

Oh, no. No, no. Not me.

I'm going with you.

- It looks like we got here just in time.

- Yeah.

It's good we brought back

Mike as a zombie.

Otherwise, I'd be in the river by now,

and you wouldn't be getting a job here.

JEAN: It's my turn to talk, anyway.

I wanna thank you for everything.

Gee, you've been sweet.

Oh, it was nothing. Nothing at all.

No, no.

You can't do this to me, Mike.

You can't do this. He can't do this to me.

Look, he's not a zombie anymore.

He's come out of it.

- Where am I?

- I'll tell you in a minute.

Oh, this is awful.

Now, listen, Mike. Concentrate.

Ace Miller's coming,

and you've gotta put on an act.

Hear me? You've gotta put on an act.

- What do you mean?

- You've gotta become a zombie.

You're crazy.

I won't do it, not for you or anybody else.

Oh, I will be crazy

if you don't do what I say.

Jean, you talk to him.

Please, it's for the good of all of us.

No, I tell you, I won't do it.

- You won't?

- No.

Ace, old man, glad to see you.

Well, we did it. Yes, sir, we did it.

- This is the girl I cabled about, Jean.

- Hello, Mr. Miller.

- So they got Mike, huh?

- Yes.

Mike Streger gave his life

to his career as a press agent.

Poor Mike. Poor brave Mike.

Don't look different to me than he did

before, except he keeps his kisser shut.