Girl in the Refrigerator (2025)

[bunniefuu]

[dramatic music]

[film reel spinning]

[birds chirping]

[bright music]

[train roaring]

[saw whirring]

Cole.

Hey Cole.

Cole, you in there?

- Hey, what's up Stash?

- Thought I heard you

dicking around in there.

BBQ around 6:00.

You in?

- Can I supply the music?

- I got the music.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

- CBH.

[Girlfriend] I'll just

leave my hoodie here.

Love you.

[Riley] There's no way

you're breaking up with her.

[Cole] I'm telling you

this time it's really over

[Riley] Bullshit.

You said that every time

that she comes over.

You guys f*ck and then

you're a couple again.

[Cole] She's coming over

to pick up her hoodie.

That thing has been here for three years.

It's really over.

- So what?

Now you think you've got

a chance with Book Girl?

[Cole] That thought

may have crossed my mind.

[Riley] Doesn't she have a boyfriend?

[Cole] Yeah, and he's

a total d*uche bag.

[Riley] And isn't she half your age?

[Cole] It's not half my age.

Maybe 2/3, I don't know, 5/8.

[Riley] Look, you're not

breaking up with Ellie.

It's like 100 degrees out today.

The Filipino sensation is gonna show up

wearing some tight little shorts.

You're gonna get one sight

of that booty and game over.

The best thing you can

do right now is jerk off.

Go and wax the trophy case

before she gets there.

Then she's powerless.

- We're not having sex.

We're breaking up.

- Boy who cried wolf.

I can't be with someone with

such sh*t taste in movies.

I work in a movie theater for f*ck's sake.

Her taste in music is even shittier.

She kept f*cking with my

car radio the other day

playing that dance music sh*t.

If we don't break up, I think

I might actually k*ll her.

The fact that she's on the pill

and I don't like wearing rubbers

is the entire basis of our relationship.

[Riley] It'll make a

hell of a wedding toast.

When that hoodie leaves

this apartment, it is over.

[Riley] You're so gonna f*ck her.

[Jack] Hello and

welcome to another episode

of Midwest Nature.

I'm your host, Jack Carr.

This week we're here

in the DeKalb, Illinois

to see what wildlife has for us.

[bright music]

Squirrels have rather slender bodies

and may have long bushy tails.

Squirrels are well known

for their playfulness

[doorbell ringing]

And friskiness.

Hey.

I need to use your shower.

- What's with all the pink?

- It's Ride for the Cure.

You owe me $15 by the way.

Did you cure anything?

A little misleading.

Don't you think?

You guys ride around a big circle

and take credit for curing cancer.

And if you rode to a research center

and stayed there for

the next 10 or 12 years,

developed some kind of a vaccine

or something, that would

be a Ride for the Cure.

- You owe me $15.

- I'll go get it.

I should have jerked off.

I definitely should have jerked off.

f*ck.

[Jack] There are both

domestic ducks and wild ducks.

More than 40 different kinds of ducks.

Why are you all dressed up?

It's Becca's birthday party.

Kristen's daughter.

My niece.

Oh, Becca. Becca.

Becca's birthday.

You riding your bike?

It's not that far, but

of course you can drive me.

But then you don't want me to mess

with your precious car radio, right?

Yeah, I guess not that far.

$15.

Hoodie?

Weight room.

[Jack] Next time, this is Jack Carr

reminding you if you're nice to nature,

nature will be nice to you.

This is a complete mess.

I'll have it done it a couple days.

There's that.

This is it, huh?

You are wearing a thong, aren't you?

[both panting]

Hey, that's a good idea.

Concord, New Hampshire, Denver, Colorado.

Des Moines, Iowa, Dover, Delaware,

Frankford, Kentucky to

St. Paul, Minnesota.

Salt Lake City, Utah,

Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Springfield.

Springfield.

Ah, Springfield, Illinois.

That was a a rocking good time, huh?

Is that what I am to you?

A good time?

I said a rocking good time.

You know what I mean?

Oh, come on baby.

Let's not get into all that.

[saw whirring]

Oh sh*t.

Ellie?

Baby?

Holy sh*t.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

Ellie, Ellie, baby.

Say something.

Ellie.

I gotta call 911.

[Riley] He said if we don't break up,

I think I might actually k*ll her.

Those were his exact words?

[Riley] Yes, those were his exact words.

There was semen present in the body.

DNA proves it was his.

Does an innocent man

have sex with a corpse?

I'd hate to see what else

he has on his day planner.

Hey roomie, you and I

are gonna be best friends.

[lips smacking]

[inmate babbling]

[upbeat music begins]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music ends]

[Cole heaving]

[upbeat music begins]

To avoid decomposition,

the body should be stored at

a temperature of 39 degrees.

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music ends]

[refrigerator humming]

[bottles clanking]

He puts her body in the refrigerator.

What does this man diet on?

Alcohol and cold p*ssy?

Son of a b*tch.

[birds chirping]

[ducks quacking]

[water splashing]

[birds chirping]

[phone ringing]

Jesus.

- Hey.

- So what happened?

- What happened what?

- With Ellie?

What do you mean what

happened with Ellie?

[Riley] You break up

or did you f*ck her?

Huh?

Oh, nothing.

She just didn't show up.

- Did she call?

- Nope.

[Riley] She didn't show

up and she didn't call?

Yeah.

What are you a cop?

- She's playing

some major head games with you.

You think?

[Riley] Absence makes the

d*ck grow harder my man.

She blows you off for a few days.

You start to miss her.

She shows up unannounced.

You guys f*ck

and that hoodie stays at your apartment

for the next three years.

Hey look, I gotta go.

You're cutting out.

I'll call you later.

- You're gonna f*ck her.

sh*t, the hoodie.

[refrigerator humming]

[detergent splashing]

[coins jingling]

[knob clanking]

- Greetings.

- Do you have power?

[Stash] f*ck no.

All these assholes

with their air conditioners

blew out the electricity again.

Apparently the barbecue will have

to start a little early.

You got anything in your fridge?

Huh?

What do you mean?

- Beer.

How much beer you got?

Yeah, I'm good.

Okay.

We might need some backup.

Meet me outside when

you smell the charcoal.

Will do.

[phone ringing]

[Kristen] Hey, it's me.

Where are you?

I hope you're not still upset

over the whole Cole situation.

You said so yourself.

He's not husband material.

He could do so much better financially

and that thing he does when

he makes you put his into your

and then into your while he,

that's not right.

We'll talk about it later.

Call me, okay?

That was your idea.

[train roaring]

Hey Book Girl.

What you reading?

1000 Deaths.

What's it about?

It's about an ex marine who got addicted

to k*lling while serving in Vietnam.

Then he couldn't turn

it off after the w*r.

So he became a serial k*ller at home.

He was a k*lling machine.

How many people did he k*ll?

Oh, come on, a thousand?

It's based on a true story.

How'd he get rid of all the bodies?

Different ways.

He buried some.

He burned some.

He even ate a few of them.

Kept this one girl in the refrigerator

and cooked her up over

the course of a week.

He kept her in the.

That is f*cked up.

- Tastes like chicken.

- Do you speak

from experience?

- Maybe.

- So how would you get rid

of a dead body if you had to?

Hmm.

That's a good question.

I suppose a cornfield

would be a good option,

but that's too much digging

and my hands would blister

or lime in the bathtub.

Except that would stink.

Oh, I got it.

Suicide.

I'd put the body on the tracks

and make it look like a suicide.

That is an excellent idea, Sheila.

Nothing really matters, anyone can see.

Nothing really matters to me.

That is Bohemian Rhapsody.

Our penmanship expert has

analyzed this suicide note

and will testify that he's 100% certain

that this is not the victim's handwriting.

And I'd still like to hear

how the defense will explain the presence

of Mr. Walinkski's semen

inside of our victim.

Will they claim he's

simply a necrophiliac?

Does anyone here know how

difficult it is to have sex

with a woman after she's

been hit by a train?

Her vag*na was a pancake.

[paper crumbling]

I should have jerked off.

[Cole] Sure you used enough fluid?

I used enough fluid.

Have a little patience.

[upbeat music]

You put fluid on that charcoal?

Yes, I did.

Have some patience.

[Cole] How many batteries

you got in that boom box?

10 big boys.

Were you talking to Shaina earlier?

Who?

- Shaina, Book Girl.

Book Girl's name is Shaina.

I've been calling her

Sheila since I met her.

I know she thinks it's funny.

How do you know that?

I'm the eyes and ears

of this place Cole.

I can hear or see anything

within a hundred yard radius

in my place.

Got some crazy acoustics up in here.

Did you know she broke up with her BF?

- Seriously?

- A week and a half ago.

Do I got a shot?

You got a shot because

you keep calling her Sheila.

- Go on.

- Shaina's hot.

She gets hit on all the time.

Then there's your dumb-a*s living next door

and you can't even get her name right.

That's like the hot broad

you see out at the bar

with her fat friend.

You hit on the fatty.

It's only a matter of time

before hotty is all over you

'cause she can't handle being ignored

and she thinks you're

the most likely person

in the building to be a serial k*ller.

- She said that?

- She's a little out there.

But if I were you, I would

keep calling her Sheila.

Too bad you got a girlfriend.

- Not anymore.

- When did this happen?

Recently.

Very recently.

- Who ended it?

I'd have to say it was mostly my fault.

[Lloyd] Stash, you got electricity?

No 'cause you idiots and

your f*cking air conditioners

blew the power again.

It's not hot.

Use a fan.

Use a f*cking fan Lloyd.

- Can I have a hot dog?

- Maybe.

- Where you going?

- Gotta grab more fluid.

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

[Kristen] Hey, it's me again.

Mom's really starting to freak.

Could you at least call

so we know you're okay?

I'm sure you are, but just call us, okay?

The cell phone signal

was traced to his house.

His fingerprints are on the cell phone.

And why does he have her cell phone?

Because he k*lled her.

And did I forget to mention, semen.

[hammer banging]

[Operator] City Of

Destiny Police Department.

And how long has she been missing?

And you called her cell phone?

Checked with her friends.

Okay, it has to be 24 hours

before we can file an official report.

Where is she supposed to be right now?

Does she have a boyfriend.

In the process of breaking up.

Wait a minute.

He does what?

He makes her put his into her

and then into her while he,

I'll send an officer over immediately.

Stash is your alibi.

He's the eyes and ears of the building

and he didn't see or hear jack sh*t.

He just played off like

a typical Saturday.

Enjoy your little barbecue,

drink a few beers, hit on book girl.

And then tonight you go and dump a body.

Okay, good talk.

[Stash] Charcoal fires

like a beautiful woman, Cole.

It takes a little while to get ready,

but when it's heated and glowing,

there is no better sight in the world.

[Cole] Yeah, but then it cools off.

It turns gray.

You dump it on those rocks

next to the parking lot.

[Stash] Sounds a lot

like my second marriage.

[Cole] What possessed you

to get married a second time?

[Stash] I f*cking

hate doing the laundry.

[Cole] I'm down to laundry once a month.

The secret's basketball

shorts instead of underwear.

Yeah, marriage is a funny thing, Cole.

It's always perfect at first.

You honestly think you found the one.

Then it all goes to sh*t.

She starts f*cking some guy at the office,

starts taking head medication,

claims she's trying

to find herself while

you turn to strippers,

hookers and glory holes

and anything you can stick your d*ck into

because suddenly she doesn't

give blow jobs anymore.

Eventually you get

divorced, she gets half.

You move into a shitty

apartment, your job sucks

and you spend the majority

of your day fantasizing

how are you gonna dispose of her body?

Yeah, marriage is a funny thing.

- So what was your plan?

- What do you mean?

How are you gonna dispose of her body?

Simple.

Take the interstate north,

dump her body in the Des Plains River.

What if someone sees you?

You could dump a school bus

off that bridge at 2:00 AM.

Nobody would see a thing.

It's pitch black.

Weigh her body down.

Problem solved.

Plus, I got a buddy in the state troopers.

They don't patrol that

area from 1:00 to 5:00 AM.

Ever.

I did my homework.

[Morty] You can't barbecue

on your landing before 6:00 PM Stash.

It doesn't apply on weekends Morty,

read the rules and while

you're at it, fix the roof.

They've been banging away

up there for a month.

It was supposed to take a week.

- It rained.

- Once.

It rained once.

Uh-huh, yeah.

[bright music]

Getting there.

Book girl's outside.

- How do you know that?

- That was her door.

That was Morty's.

Morty's is more of a swoosh.

Shaina's has a nice

clean swoosh click to it.

So go bullshit with her.

She's out there right now.

Hello gentlemen.

I'm Mark from St. Xavier the Wayside.

I wanna speak to you about

God's presence in your lives.

You know what?

I'm gonna go bullshit with book girl.

Let me ask you something.

Any good recipes?

You heading upstairs later?

We're barbecuing.

- Okay.

- Did you really tell Stash

that you think I'm the most likely person

in the building to be a serial k*ller?

Well, you're white, you're single.

You're in your 30s, you're in shape.

You seem intelligent.

You work nights and you only

have a couple of close friends.

You drink way too much.

You listen to weird music

and you're a Gemini like Son

of Sam or Jeffrey Dahmer.

Yeah, I try to work

out like six days a week.

It's all a little hypocritical to me.

That's all, one chapter you're preaching.

Thou shall not k*ll, but

later it's an eye for an eye.

So k*lling's bad, but

maiming people's okay,

and what about Fridays and Lent?

You can't eat chicken, but you can scarf

down all the eggs you want.

Man, I think the pro-choicers

would've a field day with that one.

I'm not directing it at you personally,

I'm just saying from what I've observed,

people in general read a lot of fiction

tend to live very boring lives.

They live vicariously

through the characters,

but in real life they're kind of boring.

- My life's not boring.

- You work at the library.

- And I go to school.

- For what?

I take some computer courses,

might lead to clerical work or data entry.

Oh my god.

Where are all miracles now?

We've got technology up the a*s

to the point where we

can record everything.

So how come no one's

parting the Red Sea today?

Why aren't the commandments

falling from the sky

when someone can record

it on their cell phone?

And you've gotta think about your sources.

Did you know there were

originally 20 commandments

and one of them was

don't touch Moses' stuff.

- I think I'm drunk.

- I'll grab two more Sheila.

And then there's Good Friday.

Here's your Savior.

He's ratted out by one

of his best friends.

He's beaten, he's tortured, he's whipped.

He's literally nailed to a cross.

So I mean, what do you

guys consider a bad Friday?

That's gotta be like the

worst Friday of all time.

What happens next?

While he's up on the cross,

he finds out he is being audited.

How old are you?

- 22.

- You're 22 years old

and you are wearing a

short sleeve collared shirt

with a tie.

Come on now.

[upbeat music]

Welcome to the other side churchy.

[upbeat music]

[Shaina] Cool posters.

Hey, what's up?

Lon Cheney?

While the City Sleeps.

Wasn't Lon Cheney the

Phantom of the Opera?

Yes he was.

And he was arguably the greatest

silent film actor of all time.

Interesting little side note.

Both his parents were completely deaf.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I mean, it's fascinating

when you think about it.

Basically, he learned to

express himself from birth

to two people who couldn't

hear a word he said.

That's why he was such a

phenomenal silent actor.

You could read his thoughts.

He could speak with his eyes or his hands.

- Laugh Clown Laugh.

- That one is my favorite.

It's kind of creepy.

We were at Freddy's

last year for Halloween

and there was some weird

guy dressed up like a clown.

He had all kinds of props

with him, like toy g*ns,

horns, juggling pins.

But he also had a plastic

bag full of body parts.

It was so disturbing.

Even the bouncers

wouldn't go near the guy.

Later we found out he was

a grade school teacher from Central.

Isn't that creepy?

Yeah, clowns are creepy.

Let's get back outside.

It's tuffy in here.

Okay.

Oh my god tell him I'm not home.

- Huh?

- Theo, my ex.

My door's unlocked, he'll walk right in.

Okay.

Hey, she's not home.

Huh?

Where the hell is she at then man?

I don't know.

She left a while ago with some dude.

- Some dude.

- Yeah some big dude.

Big Black dude with a motorcycle.

A big Black biker dude.

He's been there before.

I'll tell her you stopped by.

Don't ever fall in love with a stripper

or girls with tattoos.

Girls with tattoos need too much attention

and a stripper with tattoos.

This music is so good.

I guess what bugged me

the most was all the lying.

There was always some big

plans right around the corner.

He was going back to school.

Never happened.

He was getting a promotion.

Never happened.

Oh, my personal favorite.

He has an uncle back

east that was supposed

to make them partner in some

online t-shirt making business

that supposedly made millions.

Guess what?

- Never happened.

Well, you can't shine sh*t.

Actually you can, but all you end up

with is a shiny piece of sh*t.

Who wants that, right?

Yeah, Ellie always had big plans too,

and every one of 'em

involved me giving her money.

- You guys broke up.

- Yep.

- For real.

- It would take

an actual miracle for us

to get back together again.

How about you and the suburban homeboy?

Is that officially over?

What if his uncle really made him partner

and he was loaded instead of living in

that shitty little

apartment across tracks.

Would you guys be a couple then?

Seriously.

It wouldn't hurt.

You know I got a little

million dollar idea of my own.

I'm trying to get off the ground.

- What's that?

- Pelly?

- Pelly.

- Pelly.

Okay, what's Pelly?

Peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.

It's Pelly.

I guess you could call it Jeanutbutter.

But PPelly sounds more

catchy, don't you think?

Oh my god, you're such a serial k*ller.

If I'm ever stupid enough

to get married again,

I'm going plain Jane all the way.

Plain Jane can cook.

Plain Jane can clean.

You know what?

Plain Jane's usually better in the sack.

She makes up for her looks

with her performance.

Plain Jane gets plain

crazy in the bedroom.

Transatlantic k*ller got 49.

Yeah, but weren't most of them hookers?

- So?

- So who can k*ll a hooker?

You pull up, they get in

your car and it's over.

Where's the adventure in that?

It's like a m*rder on a stick.

He still had to dump the bodies.

Yeah, I guess that's true.

You had to dump the bodies.

Must dump the bodies.

[upbeat music]

Oh, I should slow down a little bit.

All right, more for me.

Does he have any music

that's not his own band?

Nope.

What are they called?

Cheap Beer Hangover.

Also known as CBH.

- Hmm.

That's actually a really good name.

What's wrong?

- Is that an unmarked squad?

Hang on to these, I'll be right back.

[upbeat music]

[dramatic music]

Mr. Walinski?

Huh?

Are you Coleman Walinski?

Yes, I am.

Coleman, I need to

ask you a few questions.

Is it okay if I come inside?

Yeah, no problem.

It's just Cole.

[Police Radio] 10-4, en route.

We'll be arriving at the

property in T minus two over.

- Nice posters.

- Yeah, thanks.

I work at a movie theater,

so I'm kind of a movie geek.

Cole, I'm trying to

locate an Ellie Torganis.

Her sister thought that she might be here.

Have you seen her today?

I haven't seen her since Monday.

And when was the last

time you spoke with her?

Monday.

So how do you know Ellie Torganis?

- We used to go out.

- Past tense, you broke up?

Well, we didn't necessarily break up.

It's more like we've been in the process

of breaking up for a while.

How long has this process been going on?

About two years, I guess.

- It's a pretty long breakup.

- I know,

but it's hard to explain.

It's like she has this

sexual hold over me.

I cannot say no to her booty.

You know what I mean?

It's lethal.

It is a lethal booty.

Lethal booty will get you every time.

[police radio chattering]

Wait a minute, you're Riley's buddy.

You play in our fantasy league.

I knew you looked familiar.

- Lump of Cole.

- You're Lump of Cole.

You beat me in the playoffs last year.

You b*stard.

Yeah, but I choked in the championship.

Why did I start Jones that week?

I left Davis on the bench

because he was on the road

in a cold weather town

and he scores three touchdowns.

f*ck!

You still in the league, right?

Oh, definitely.

Drafts on the 29th, I got the day off.

You mind if I get a

bottle of water off you?

No, no, no, no, no.

Can't open the fridge.

Electricity went out.

So I'm trying to keep

the coolness in there

and I just ran out of

bottled water anyway.

I can offer you a nice warm glass

of tap water if you like.

Nah.

That's cool, that's cool.

So which way you leaning the first round?

I think I might be switching my strategy

a little this year.

There are a ton of quality running backs,

but it's so thin at wide receiver

and you should be able to

get a decent quarterback

in like the sixth or seventh round.

- 418 Central.

- Go ahead Central.

- 10-20.

- I'm currently at the Gardens

questioning boyfriend,

ex boyfriend.

- Anything?

Oh yeah, I've got something.

[Police Radio] Go ahead.

He says he's going wide

receiver first round.

[upbeat music]

One two three four

[upbeat music]

[train rumbling]

I would invest in it.

It's a good idea.

You don't need more than one butter knife.

You don't need to worry

if you're low on one

or running out of the other.

It's all in one jar.

It's peanut butter and jelly simplified.

It's Pelly or jeanut butter.

[Lloyd] Hey, the power's back on.

We don't need electricity

to have a good time Lloyd.

We've got everything right here.

Well, you heard the man.

It's either me or the air conditioning.

Okay, see ya.

Women will do that.

So how's it going with you two?

Pretty good, actually,

we're hanging out later.

Just promise me one thing.

If you two end up having

sex, you'll turn up the radio

very loud.

Do not want to hear that.

We're just hanging out.

Have you heard Shaina having sex before?

No, but I have heard her sing.

She's terrible.

Can't imagine her moaning

would be any better.

[bright harp music]

Okay, I'm gonna go reset my clocks

and then I plan to induce a deuce.

Why do I need to know that?

Then there were two.

Oh, that's not good.

I really don't want to do this.

They want you to believe that

Cole acted in self-defense.

That a man affectionately

known as churchy,

spreading God's word, door to door,

attacked him in his own kitchen

with a spoon nonetheless.

But the truth is, when Churchy entered

Mr. Walinski's apartment that

afternoon, well, he had about

as much of a chance as a Black man

in a Martin Scorsese film.

Look it up people.

[phone ringing]

- What's up Riley?

- What are you doing tonight?

I got Cubs tickets.

- Can't go.

- Can't go?

Nope, I got a date.

[Riley] I knew you weren't

breaking up with her.

- It's not with Ellie.

- What?

I'm hanging out with book girl later.

- Are you sh1tting me?

- You are not being shat.

Nine o'clock tonight.

[Riley] Damn, that's

a pretty quick rebound.

She's not a rebound.

[Riley] She's the very

definition of a rebound.

And I thought she had a boyfriend.

- They broke up.

- A double rebound.

This thing's doomed from the get go.

I'm just saying maybe it's not too late

to patch things up with Ellie.

- You have no idea.

- Come on.

Her parents own the best

sandwich shop in town.

You guys break up and

there goes my discount.

Knew there was an ulterior motive.

[Riley] Seriously, all bullshit aside,

she does do a lot for you.

She babysits you when you're sick.

She drives you around when you're drunk,

which is pretty much

every time you go out.

And all you do is b*tch about

her f*cking with your radio

and that thing you guys do

when you make her put your

into her and then into her while you that,

not a lot of women would let you do that.

- That was her idea.

- Yeah, right.

Dude, she's on the pill for you.

Do you know how rare that is?

Do you know how lucky you are?

Hi baby.

Thought you forgot about me.

Come on, let's get outta here.

What the f*ck?

[bright music]

- You remember our first date?

- Refresh my memory.

You're kidding, right?

We've been on a lot of dates.

I took you to the Gateway.

Remember?

Silent Film Festival?

Oh, stupid black and white thing.

It wasn't stupid.

It was Rudolph Valentino

in Blood and Sand.

It was live music.

How cute.

I forgot how you ruined

all the good moments.

You forgot about the

bug spray, didn't you?

Oh god.

I'm not babysitting your cat.

I'd rather drink my own urine.

When was the last time

you went clothes shopping?

I hate this shirt.

Yes, those shoes do

make your feet look fat

because you have fat feet.

I don't know what else to tell you.

Quit making pet names for your p*nis.

American Idol f*cking sucks.

Okay?

It's a goddam karaoke contest.

That's all it is.

[Elle speaking in foreign language]

Yeah, gazuntite.

Look, I don't understand a word.

I hate fantasy football.

I forgot how we used

to fight all the time.

Why do you keep referring

to me in the past tense?

Huh.

That's a good question.

No, don't touch it.

All right.

This is my jam.

Woo!

Oh yeah.

Come on people.

Let's go dance.

Oh yeah.

Oh yeah.

Woo!

This is it, huh?

You are wearing a thong, aren't you?

Well, that was a rocking good time.

Is that what I am to you?

A good time?

- I said rocking good time.

You know what I mean.

Cole, Cole, stop.

Stop Cole.

- Die, die.

You f*cking b*tch.

Die!

Die!

[saw whirring]

Hey serial k*ller.

Planning on how to dispose of the bodies?

You know, you really gotta

quit saying things like that.

Did you know that Dahmer's

apartment number was 213

just like yours?

Coincidence?

Hmm?

Why do you think you're so fascinated

with that kind of stuff?

I don't know.

I guess it's the whole secret

lives aspect of it all.

How you can be somebody one day

and somebody completely

different the next.

I guess that's why I

love Halloween so much.

My favorite part was

carving the pumpkin.

What do you mean was?

Why don't you carve pumpkins anymore?

Because I'm alone.

Who carves a pumpkin by them self.

It'd be like buying

your own birthday cake.

Why doesn't your family come to visit?

I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that.

It's okay. It's okay.

My brother lives up north with

his wife and their four kids,

and my parents moved up

there to be closer to them.

And since I'm not married

and I don't have any children,

I apparently don't exist.

They swept me under the

rug a long time ago.

- What does your brother do?

- He's a carpenter.

Like my dad was, like I was

for three miserable f*cking years.

You didn't like being a carpenter?

I like building stuff.

I just didn't like starting

work before the sun came up

or working for the biggest

as*h*le on the planet.

I bet the money was good.

Yeah, money was good, but I

was constantly pissed off.

I was constantly stressed out,

my main way of relieving stress

was by going to the movies.

Then one day it hit me.

Maybe I should work somewhere

I actually enjoyed going.

So I quit carpentry one year

before becoming a journeyman

to work for minimum

wage in a movie theater.

Eventually I got promoted.

Now I run the projection

booth for all 12 screens.

- That's cool.

- I think it is.

When I look through the

glass on a Friday night

and there's a packed house,

and I know I'm a pivotal

part in giving these people

a 90 minute escape from whatever it is

they're trying to escape from.

It feels like I'm doing

something important,

but according to my dad, I'm an idiot.

So that's why you don't

see my family around here.

And that's also probably why I decided

to become a serial k*ller.

How many have you k*lled so far?

You know, I lost track

after the first couple dozens.

So 40, 50.

I think I'm gonna stop

once I get to a hundred.

That was a Tin Man's goal.

I thought the Tin Man wanted a heart.

Not the Wizard of Oz, Jebediah Walls?

The Tin Man, serial k*ller from Louisiana

in the early 60s.

Why'd they call him the Tin Man?

Because he wrapped

his victims in tin foil

to cover the smell of the decaying bodies.

Did it work?

k*lled 18 before they

finally caught him.

Interesting.

Ah, come on, churchy.

Just like a big potato.

[upbeat music]

Purple.

Black.

Purple.

Black.

Ow.

Ow.

Ah!

Purple.

Black.

Who's got the mojo?

Nice.

Hello book girl.

Have you seen my purple shirt?

Black shirt?

Here we go big boy.

Purple.

Black.

Purple.

What am I wearing?

Why it's bug spray

with deet.

Black.

Purple.

You have been chosen.

Oh sh*t.

- What's up bro?

She's still not home.

All right, man, that's cool.

Just give this to her

next time you see her.

Okay.

Sick.

Yeah, sure.

Come on in.

Man.

Copyright on those had to have expired.

That one though.

That's a prime print.

Print for what?

I'm gonna teach you a business, bro.

Check out the paperwork.

Crush Tees.

America's number one online

source for creative tees.

Yeah, my uncle made me partner.

Check out them digits.

- This is a contract?

- f*ck yeah.

Those are a lot of zeroes.

Right.

Shaina's see them zeroes.

She gonna get moist like carrot cake.

You know I got an idea.

I don't know if you're interested,

but you have peanut butter

and jelly in one jar.

You can call it Pelly or Jeanut Butter.

What?

Man, don't quit your day job.

Got any more posters?

Yeah, down the hall.

Weight room.

Do all this yourself?

I used to be a carpenter.

No sh*t.

I'm gonna need me a carpenter, man.

I wanna make myself a

double king size bed.

That way I can have two

b*tches on one side,

two b*tches on the other

side, two b*tches on my d*ck.

You know what I mean?

- What about Shaina?

- Oh, Shaina.

She's special, man.

She got her own room.

Man, this is cool.

You got your own tools and everything too.

Is this your table saw?

Yeah.

Yeah, let me show you how it works.

Cool.

You gotta be kidding me.

I rest my case.

[doorbell ringing]

Oh sh*t.

- Hey.

- Hey.

It's not a pumpkin, but

you could still carve it.

[crickets chirping]

I can honestly say that

this morning when I woke up,

I did not expect to be carving

a watermelon Jack-O-Lantern

before the day was over.

Yeah, my day didn't go

quite as expected either.

- What?

- Nothing.

Just taking a mental picture.

That's all.

- Well, do I look good?

- You always look good.

In fact, they got an entire

album of you up here.

There you are reading a book.

There you are up front reading a book.

Another one of you, another book.

So I see a pattern here.

I guess that's why we

call you a book girl, huh?

- They're my escape.

- What are you escaping from?

Boredom, I guess.

I didn't really think of it like that

until you brought it up earlier.

This is what I do.

I live a very boring life.

I work at the library.

I spend majority of my

day with senior citizens,

and I watch the Weather

Channel constantly.

I guess that's why I stuck

with Theo as long as I did.

I knew he was cheating.

I knew he was an as*h*le,

but he was always so full of energy,

fun to be around.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I wanted to k*ll him.

I can relate.

We even talked about

getting married a few times.

You honestly considered

marrying that jackass?

It was talk mostly.

Thankfully I came to my senses.

Didn't you and Ellie ever

talk about getting married?

She'd bring it up every now and then.

But what?

Seriously, you think

about it, you hang out

with someone you enjoy being with,

but it's a date that never ends.

You'll never have time to yourself again.

I mean, I could see where it might be nice

to take the wife out on

occasion, like going to a wedding

or a dinner party or something.

But I need that alone time.

- You need a Barbie wife.

- A what?

A Barbie wife.

Someone you can take out

and show off at social gatherings.

And then when the night's

over, take her back home,

put her in her box and keep her shiny

and new for the next event.

Imagine I need a pretty big

box for someone like that.

You could keep her in the refrigerator.

I gotta take a leak.

[crickets chirping]

Excuse me, ma'am.

Can I ask you a few questions?

[crickets chirping]

- What was that all about?

- Huh?

Oh, someone lost a dog.

They sent a detective

out looking for a lost dog.

It was a seeing eye dog.

Huh.

Surprised that doesn't happen more often.

Those seeing eye dogs go pretty

much go anywhere they want.

Guess it was only a matter of time if they

figured it out for themselves.

You didn't tell 'em about my

little serial k*lling hobby did you?

Your secret is safe with me Cole.

Appreciate it, Sheila, I really do.

But you got a promise to keep my secret.

- That is.

- I'm a dancer.

[bright music]

What if aliens made a spacecraft

that looked just like a DC-10?

Who's to say they haven't?

So you're saying they've

already infiltrated our planet?

Where do you think we get computer chips

and smartphones from?

It's gotta be the aliens.

And all those space shuttle missions,

we're just bringing them

back to their home planets.

So the space shuttle was

actually a shuttle service.

And how does an astronaut take a sh*t?

[bright music]

I woke up the other day

and I didn't even know what day it was.

I've done that.

Isn't that kind of sad?

It made me wonder how many days

of my life I could have just slept through

and it wouldn't even have

made a f*cking difference.

Joel Kowsky wrote, your life revolves

around a few days

and it's up to you to

realize what those days are.

Well then what?

Live your life accordingly, I guess.

So was today one of those days?

Oh yeah.

Today was one of them.

Today was definitely one of them.

[bright music]

Incredible.

If I could whistle, I

would whistle right now.

We should get going.

I gotta help Stash pick up

a pinball machine tomorrow.

When?

Whenever he rings my doorbell.

What about the

watermelon Jack-O-Lantern?

He is at the mercy of the squirrels now.

Come on, let's go.

[siren wailing]

You wanna go downtown

with me on Friday night?

See a silent film?

- I don't see why not.

- Yeah, they got live music.

The whole thing's pretty cool.

Why do you think you're so obsessed

with all those old movies?

I don't know.

I think it's because you get

to step into another world

for a little while.

See these people from the

1920s and they're living

and breathing, moving around.

I don't know how to explain it.

It's almost like seeing a ghost.

Oh, that's great.

What, the ladder?

They should lose their

license for something like that.

Any little kid in the area

can crawl right up that thing.

It's a hell of a roofing

crew they got for us.

Let's go up there.

That's probably not the best idea.

- Are you afraid of heights?

- No.

Come on.

Step into another world

for a little while.

[upbeat music begins]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music ends]

[roof clanging]

Hey, Stash.

What's up guys?

We'll let ourselves out.

Okay.

[g*ns rattling]

[dogs barking]

So I'll call you about Friday night?

Okay.

You remember that detective from before?

He wasn't looking for a seeing eye dog.

He had a picture of Ellie.

He said she's been missing

since this morning.

He said she had on a pink

shirt and white shorts.

But I remember when she was

standing outside your door

with her bicycle this morning,

she was wearing pink shorts, not white.

Did you say anything?

I said I haven't seen

her in over a week.

Let me see her.

[crickets chirping]

[refrigerator humming]

[chips rattling]

It was an accident.

But who's gonna believe that, right?

- I believe you.

- Yeah, but you're not a judge

or part of a jury.

What are you gonna do?

She's not the only one.

Are you serious?

Let's just say, I really don't want you

to use my bathroom right now.

Come to think of it.

It might be a good idea

for you to go home.

Do you need any help?

[upbeat music]

I'm sorry.

[upbeat music]

[body thumping]

[upbeat music]

[body thumping]

Come on, dickhead.

[upbeat music]

[body thumping]

Theo?

Your welcome.

[upbeat music]

[engine revving]

[car whooshing]

Where are we going?

Des Plaines River.

Is that where you're gonna?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We should probably talk

about something else

at least while we're driving.

Did you?

I didn't.

I didn't think that you.

Not your typical first date, huh?

[car whooshing]

I was with Cole the entire day

and I didn't see anyone enter

his apartment besides Cole

and a uniformed police officer

who showed up that afternoon.

Did you and Cole have

a few beverages that day?

We always have a few beverages.

[audience laughing]

We have your semen.

Is it possible those beverages

may have impaired your judgment a bit?

Was it a blurry afternoon?

Are you drunk right now?

A little bit, but that's not the point.

The point is I'm the eyes

and ears of that building, I can hear

or see anything within a

hundred yard radius of my place.

And that includes Cole's apartment.

Ellie was never there.

Please, there's a vending

machine right down the hall

that's less than a hundred yards.

Should we assume you can hear that?

A woman in high heels just pressed G4

and bought a bag of

chocolate covered pretzels.

[audience laughing]

This is his alibi

people, a drinking buddy.

[audience gasps]

What?

[audience applauding]

[car whooshing]

You wanna go see a movie?

Now?

Are we gonna get in trouble for this?

After everything we've just been through

now you're worried about

getting in trouble?

Give me five minutes.

Okay.

[upbeat music begins]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music ends]

[both applauding]

Well that was a night

I won't forget anytime soon.

- Night's not over yet.

- Really?

I locked myself out

and I don't think this is a

good time to call my landlord

to ask for my spare.

No, we don't want to be making

any extra phone calls right now.

Can I sleep on your couch?

You know if I pin

myself up against the wall

next to my bed, there

might be room for two.

I better sleep on the couch.

Come on, you can have the bed.

I'll sleep on the couch.

[bright music]

Very nice.

Okay, here we go.

- Should I do a drum roll?

- Knock yourself out.

[Shaina harmonizing]

What kind of drum roll is that?

It's a Christmas drum roll.

You know what, maybe

let's skip the drum roll.

All right, let's do this.

Ta-da.

Can we open a present early?

One?

Just one early, please.

One.

- Hold on.

Hold on.

Let me at least turn the lights on.

Maybe you should open this one first.

Shaina, book girl, will you marry me?

[alarm ringing]

Who I am

I made toast.

What?

Well, I've just come to the realization

that my life is never gonna

get any better than this.

[doorbell ringing]

There's the proof.

That's Stash.

You should probably put on some pants.

Good idea.

[doorbell ringing]

Coleman Walinski.

Is this your laundry basket?

[police radio squawking]

[upbeat music begins]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music continues]

[upbeat music ends]

They want you to believe

that Cole acted in self-defense

that a man affectionately

known as Churchy,

spreading God's word door to door,

attacked him in his own kitchen

with a spoon nonetheless.

But the truth is, when Churchy entered

Mr. Walinski's apartment that afternoon,

well he had about as much of a chance

as a Black man in a Martin Scorsese film.

Look it up, people.