01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

- Señorita Cook.

- Hi.

- Hello.

- It's me.

Lord Baddingham sends his apologies,

but he won't be joining you.

But it's the awards. He promised.

He's been invited to dine

with Princess Diana this evening.

She's in Rutshire to open

a new hospital ward for A*DS patients.

Starfucker.

Corinium have exclusive access

to film the event.

It's franchise year. Something like this

could improve Corinium's prospects.

I'm so sorry, Cameron. Good luck tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Careful. You'll scare the pigeons.

What are you doing here?

It's the best hotel in Málaga.

I was here for the Hearts game last night.

What's your excuse?

Work.

Spain's answer

to the British Television Awards.

I've been nominated.

Well done you.

No Tony? Surprised the oily baron

missed the opportunity

for a few days of fun in the sun.

You should join me for dinner.

Excuse me?

Nicky and Mary, couple of pals

from my showjumping days,

are having a few friends over

for drinks and a bite at their place.

It'll be fun. You'll love it.

Imagine how furious Tony would be if he

knew you were actually having a good time.

Do keep still.

You'll wear a hole in the carpet.

I don't understand why you're so upset.

You've had poor viewing figures before.

Yeah, when we put out crap.

This is different.

What, because of Declan?

That potato-eating b*stard

really screwed me.

You played chicken and lost.

If he's so important,

why don't you invite him back?

And have him think he rescued Corinium?

I'd rather chew glass.

He'll come crawling back.

He's up to his eyes in debt.

He's virtually unemployable.

It sounds like he needs you

as much as you need him.

I do not need Declan O'Hara.

No, you don't. You're at your best

when you're in a tight spot.

This is no different.

It's incredible.

Quite.

Shall we?

- Ah, there she is. There she is.

- Rupert, darling.

- You look gorgeous.

- Aw, as do you.

- Lovely to see you.

- And you.

- Cameron, meet Mary.

- How do you do, lovely Cameron?

Hi. Nice to meet you.

I spent hours perfecting my seating plan,

and you spoil it in seconds.

Well, plans are meant to be broken.

That's when we have the most fun.

This is true. Oh.

Still at riding weight.

Oh, I'm impressed you haven't gone to sea.

- Hello, Nicky.

- Rupert!

I know how these ministerial jobs

breed the worst habits.

Cameron, meet Nicky.

- Hi. Your home is beautiful.

- Oh, well, thank you, my darling.

One of the many perks

to being the British ambassador.

- Ambassador?

- Oh!

- Right. Come on, you gorgeous people.

- Please.

- I want to introduce you and show you off.

- Please.

You haven't really experienced Spain

until you see a bullfight.

I don't think so. That sounds horrific.

I was quite sick after my first visit.

Please. There are better distractions

in Málaga than the matadors.

What you must understand

is that the drama of the bullring

reveals one of the secrets of the Spanish.

They're all obsessed with death.

Yes, it's true.

We are obsessed with death.

But the dance between man and bull

symbolises how life is to be lived.

Not deferred for a future gratification

which may never come.

Cameron, Rupert tells me that

you're a nominee for the Omplete awards.

- Yes.

- And she'll win one.

You always did know

the right horse to back.

- Mm-hmm.

- Usually your own.

Of course.

Not that I'm suggesting

that you're a horse, of course.

I'm sorry.

- So, you are an actress?

- No, I'm a producer.

- Oh, you prefer to make the decisions?

- Exactly.

Well, the very best of luck

for tomorrow.

Cheers.

You will be careful, won't you?

Of Of Rupert? Of course.

I mean with Rupert.

You never saw him in the ring.

He was magnificent.

Giving it up the way he did,

I thought he'd ruin himself

with women and drink,

but he's done marvellously

as Minister of Sport

because it matters to him to be the best.

It's likely Mrs Thatcher

will call an election this summer.

She needs to stamp out Kinnock.

But if it goes poorly and the Tories lose,

he may drift again.

He needs something more

permanent to fulfil him.

- Should my ears be burning?

- Oh?

Definitely.

I might have another one.

What's Tony's appeal?

I can see why

he finds you irresistible, but

you realise he'll never leave Monica?

I know what you're doing,

and you're wasting your time.

Tony and I give each other

what we need, and it works.

Yet you're here

alone.

Just think of the fun we'd have.

It's no fun when you make it this easy.

The princess is very pretty.

Don't you think?

We were so far away

I could barely make her out.

Oh, she draws people in.

Must be quite something

to have that effect on people.

Mmm. And all that star quality means

that their egos become a nightmare.

I am not certain

we're still talking about the princess.

Oh, building the success of Corinium

around one magnetic character was risky,

but maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

How so?

It offers you the opportunity

to take things in a new direction.

If your staff

could see you now

I don't play the role of office tyrant

just because I enjoy it.

You should catch more bees with honey,

Tender Tony.

The face of a new, caring organisation.

Corinium Cares.

It's got a nice ring to it,

don't you think?

You know, I'd quite like

to finish our drinks upstairs.

Wouldn't you?

So, I suppose this is goodnight?

Thank you for this evening.

It was very, uh stimulating.

Am I the first Black woman you've f*cked?

Am I your first Olympian?

I may not see you in the morning.

I'm up early for a charity breakfast

at the WI.

Of course.

I hope it goes well.

Sleep well, darling.

And you, darling.

Rupert.

Looking for a light.

There is something

about watching the sunrise.

That's not the only thing that's rising.

I'm serious.

- I mean, can't you feel it?

- Ab-so-f*cking-lutely.

I want you to pay more attention

to my clitoris this time, okay?

Don't be shy.

Well, I am a member

of the "clitory" party.

Mmm.

Hmm.

God, woman, you've got me

as hard as the Rock of Gibraltar.

- Mmm. I'm flattered.

- You should be.

- Okay. But, unfortunately

- What?

- I need to work.

- No.

Yes. Declan has left us

with a hole to fill in the schedule,

and I need to come up

with some new ideas fast.

It's so gorgeous outside.

Maybe a change of scenery

will be inspiring.

Come on.

Let's grab some lunch

and see where the day takes us.

What do you say?

Thank you.

Perfection.

Okay. I think I gotta pee again.

No. No, I'm okay.

You're adorable when you're nervous.

Um, I got you something.

It's an Indalo.

Spanish swear by them for luck.

You don't have to.

Just chuck it into your handbag.

Please, I want to.

Come on.

I wish you could come tonight.

I'm not sure I fancy pretending

to be Lord Baddingham for the evening.

I am gonna catch up with paperwork

from the comfort of that bed,

where I intend to celebrate with you

several times over when you get back.

Now, your carriage awaits.

Oh, f*ck.

Yes.

Hello. Uh, I've got

something of an emergency on my hands,

and I need these very important

documents copied quickly.

Can you do that?

Sir, my manager has locked the office

and left for the day.

Mateo.

I'd imagine a handsome man like you

has got big dreams.

Oh, I'd imagine there's quite a lot

that's big about you.

Maybe you wanna be manager

of this place one day.

Well, to do that, you've got to show

you're the kind of man

that can get things done.

Why don't you be that man today?

I can speak to maintenance

about the spare key, Mr Campbell-Black.

Good man.

I'm taking you out.

Only if you're free, of course.

- Um--

- You are free?

- Yes, I'm free. I've got some time.

- Make yourself free.

- I can make myself free for you.

- Oh. Oh, you don't have--

Good man.

- Um, well--

- Ooh.

Who's a handsome boy?

Mary's expecting.

- Congratulations.

- We'd almost given up.

But it seems practise

does make perfect.

You look so happy.

I am.

Are you?

Your American chum's rather marvellous.

Wedding bells on the horizon?

She is certainly something special,

but marriage with anyone is

the furthest thing from my mind.

You're getting a bit too long in the

tooth to play Casanova, old boy.

Settle down.

You'd be lucky to have her.

There is someone, but

she's out of bounds.

Never stopped you before.

I just want to see all my friends

as happy as I am,

and I don't think I've seen you happy

for a very, very long time.

Oh. Nearly ready for you, sir.

Yes.

I clock off soon. There is a club in town.

It's a lot of fun.

Very open-minded.

Um

Good evening, madam.

f*ck, she's early.

Distract her and next time

I'll let you buy me dinner.

- Señorita.

- Hmm?

Congratulations

- on your award.

- Thank you.

- You really deserve that.

- Thank you.

- Do you need--

- Thank you. Have a good night.

Oh, mmm.

Mmm.

I f*cking did it.

Congratulations. You deserve it.

You know, I tried to impress them

with my rusty high school Spanish.

I'm sure you were marvellous.

You're marvellous.

Oh, what have you been doing?

You're sweating.

Too much champagne.

Huh.

You running out on me?

Hooligans started a riot

at last night's Millwall game.

If I'd have been in England,

I could have intervened sooner.

As it is, there's a few dozen

walking wounded.

- Four in hospital, two serious.

- Oh. I'm so sorry.

Now I've got to hightail it back

to Westminster and do damage limitation.

Okay.

You're the best time

I've ever had in Spain.

Well, admittedly,

Miss Corinium was a bit of a fiasco,

but it did bring the viewers in,

even if it was to complain.

Lady Gosling's got my ba*ls in a vice

over our general output.

She thinks we're taking

the franchise for granted.

It's just a blip, darling.

You're very good at what you do.

You've held the franchise for ten years.

You know, maybe it's time

to try something new.

- Like what?

- What about showing polo tournaments?

I mean, a good bit of Bar Sinister's buzz

is due to the locals hoping to bump into

a player whenever there's a home game.

I suppose the opportunity for you

to trade on your contacts and make money

has got nothing to do with it.

It's international, Tony.

It'll go down well

with the rest of the family.

Think of the bigger picture, darling.

You could put polo on the map.

There's nothing to think about.

I bloody hate polo.

Cameron's writing our pitch

for the franchise.

Once the IBA get it, it'll be business

as usual for the next ten years.

She won't let me down!

Last night's violence

was unexpected and unacceptable.

I'd like to reassure the public

I'm committed to dealing

with the underlying causes

so the true fans

can enjoy football safely.

And that was Rupert Campbell-Black,

Minister for Sport,

clearly failing to manage the ongoing

crisis after last night's riot.

And now over to Amanda

and the weather easel.

Hello and good news for gardeners.

There are hints of showers

later in the week--

You're back.

Whole time I've been away,

I've been thinking about your roly-poly.

Didn't get to see you enjoy it last time.

Well, why don't you stick around

to see me enjoy it now?

Mmm.

That's so good.

Well

Sometimes good things

do come to those who wait.

No Gertrude, down.

God.

Don't they realise

some of us are on school hols?

Don't look so worried.

I've come to deliver a message

to your father from Lord B.

Tell your dad if he doesn't come good

on the money he owes,

next time it'll be the bailiffs.

And they won't be as nice as me.

Come on. Come on, Gertrude.

Come on.

- Oh, Taggie.

- Oh, well done, Taggie.

Though they're very hot

on abstinence at school.

They say it's the only way

to avoid the "A" word.

The "A" word?

- A*DS.

- Oh.

- Maud.

- Don't.

Boarding school. Absolutely

the best place for a young girl.

Raise them up in the way they should go--

And when they are old,

they will not depart from it.

- Oh, beautiful.

- Thank you. Thank you.

Must be a relief getting

the girls away from London

and the scourge of single mothers.

There was a pregnancy scare last time,

but now the girls

- just do it up the bum instead.

- Caitlin.

Sorry I'm late. Mmm.

- Looks delicious, Taggie. Well done.

- The lone wanderer returns.

It's the moral responsibility of us all

to protect our young women.

So that's why faith and morality

are central

to our company's new plans, Your Grace.

But with you on the board to steer us--

Forgive me, but it's difficult

to reconcile your agenda

given the present company's fondness

for liquor and other people's wives.

Oh, well, I-I've actually given up

the booze, Your Grace.

Keeping a clear head

to finish my book on Yeats.

Oh, yeah, I am all for clean living.

My body is a temple.

Well, I mean, cathedral.

Is that so?

I'm serious about the franchise.

And I will do whatever it takes

to give us the best chance of success.

Uh, I can see how I'd serve you,

but how would you serve the diocese?

Well, if we do win the bid,

Christmas Mass will be a fixed

televised event at Cotchester Cathedral.

- Wine, Bishop?

- Oh.

Perhaps just a small one.

Or two.

God bless.

Whisky?

Myself and Freddie have done quite well.

Signing up the great and the good

of Rutshire while you were away in Spain.

And we've had to be careful

so Tony doesn't find out,

but everyone we approached

is a real asset.

Fill me in.

All right. Well, there was, uh,

- Enid Spink, the composer.

- Oh.

Tony's ignored her request

for a youth orchestra for years.

Uh, with your extensive musical catalogue,

you are uniquely positioned

to shape the musical programme.

And also, we are prepared to divert funds

for a youth orchestra.

If you win the franchise,

if we win the franchise,

get rid of that

bronze little fart James Vereker.

It would be my pleasure.

- She's close to Lady Gosling.

- I know.

It's a real boon to have her on board.

Then there's Wesley Emerson.

We need a face for our sports programmes.

He's a Cotchester cricket legend

and the public love him.

Look, Wesley, think about it

as an investment against your future

when you can't play anymore.

Yeah, you won't have to do much, and

we'll offer you a small director's fee.

Let's say, uh, £10,000.

Yeah. You know, I always thought

I'd be good on a television.

You might say

I have a "wicket" sense of humour.

Cover yourself up there.

Here you go, yeah.

Lord Lieutenant Henry Hampshire.

Rutshire royalty.

He'll bring some class to our bid.

And he has deep pockets.

- Well, you can count me in, gents.

- Mmm.

Hermione and I love wildlife programmes.

Anything to encourage the public

to engage in country life.

Yes, nothing we love more

than being out in the fresh air,

taking in the beauty of nature.

Shot.

Especially with a light Burgundy.

Then there's this millionaire

whizz-kid, Toshi Yamazaki.

His tech know-how

will put us way ahead of Tony.

Technology. It's gonna be vital

in giving us the edge on winning the bid,

which means there's an opportunity

to make money. Lots of it.

- Send me the paperwork on Monday.

- Champion.

Always a pleasure

doing business with you, Toshi.

You know, I think there might be something

in this electric car business.

I've got some news too,

but where's Freddie?

Oh, he'll be here any minute.

I'll grab another bottle.

Lunch was perfect.

Yeah.

Did Spain go well?

It was, uh, rewarding.

Come here, Gertrude.

Got something for you. Look.

Oh, that is so sweet.

- She'll be happy for hours.

- Yeah.

Um, something for you too.

- Me?

- Yeah.

But

No one ever buys me gifts like this. This

It's beautiful.

I'm surprised Tony

didn't call the loan in earlier.

- Mmm.

- Never misses a chance to have a go.

I'll have to deliver my book on Yeats

to bring in some money while we bid.

- Anything to get him off me back.

- I agree.

You need money and we need you.

I've got a partial solution.

I'd like to buy the bluebell wood.

- I don't need charity.

- It's not charity.

You're our managing director.

You can't risk Tony getting nasty

and possibly forcing you into bankruptcy.

It won't come to that.

Well, if it does, I've no intention

of actually employing you.

I've heard how you speak to your bosses.

I'm being pragmatic.

So, Venturer?

Is that the name we're still agreed on?

I don't care what we're called

as long as we win.

- Mmm.

- And

I have something guaranteed

to give us the advantage.

Give us a look.

It's Corinium paperwork.

It's their bid for the franchise.

How the hell did you get hold of this?

Short version? I got a tip-off,

flew to Spain, seduced Cameron Cook

and copied them.

You did what?

Where was Tony

while all this was going on?

I wangled him into that fancy dinner

with Princess Di at badminton.

Don't worry. Neither of them have a clue.

Although, I must say,

getting one up on Tony was

even more pleasurable than I anticipated.

You stole Corinium property, Rupert.

That's a crime.

And sleeping with Cameron

just to get company secrets?

- That's not who we are.

- Be realistic.

We're pitching for a franchise

worth over £120 million.

How long do you think we'll last if we

play the same dirty tricks that Tony does?

Well, how long do you think we'll last

if we don't?

I believe in us, but we have nothing.

You're a temperamental journalist.

I'm a retired showjumper.

Freddie makes technology

most people don't understand.

We'll need far more than audacity

to win this.

I won't work like this.

Daddy's right. You lied to Cameron.

You used her.

I mean, d-don't you care

if you hurt other people?

- At least someone here sees sense.

- What the hell are you doing?

Idiots! Principles won't pay the bills.

All right, all right.

Declan, you've made yourself clear.

Usually, I trust your judgement.

This time you're wrong.

Speaking as chairman, I'm with Declan.

We need to be better.

Anyway, enough about Declan.

Now we got rid of our dead weight,

I've got big plans.

Corinium Cares. It's gonna be

the new buzz phrase around here.

Oh, here she is. The golden girl.

- Congratulations on the Omplete.

- Here she is.

Fantastic news.

Wonder if she'll get a perk for that.

I've solved our Declan problem.

I noticed quite a contention

of Brits in Spain.

I'm thinking a sexy glamorous drama

following the lives of expats in Málaga.

EastEnders with tan lines.

Ideas like that

- are what's gonna keep Corinium on top.

- Mmm.

Ompletes and royal dinners.

Just the start of things to come.

Princess Di was delightful.

Rather quiet though.

Not like Fergie.

That smile of hers.

You can tell she's a minx.

Something

about women named Sarah.

Oh. Yeah.

Very good.

You know, I truly don't understand

the fuss about Diana.

She's so earnest,

always touching the patients.

She must be hand-washing constantly.

Well, fortunately,

they kept the deviants away.

No reason to put the rest of us

at risk.

Sorry to interrupt.

Thought you'd want to know

they're having an emergency meeting

in the House of Commons

about the Millwall riots.

Rupert's in for a grilling.

The wonder boy has finally lost his shine.

- Do you think he could get the sack?

- Fingers crossed.

You're either really desperate

to see the franchise application,

or you're really pleased to see me.

What do you think? Come here.

Not now.

Teasing me. Fine.

I'll be at yours tonight by 7:00.

Actually, no.

I booked us a table

this evening at Deleitar.

I'm craving paella.

You know my situation.

That's why we got Hamilton Terrace.

Come on. It's perfect. Why change things?

I'm tired of being locked away. I'm bored.

All I ask is we be discreet.

And why is this

suddenly a problem?

Is it because of the awards?

Is it?

You don't think

I didn't want to see you on stage?

All those people applauding

just how bloody brilliant you are.

Knowing I put you there.

I put myself there. Don't forget that.

Yes, yes.

Yes. Yes.

Just beautiful, aren't you?

You don't wanna play with these.

Come on, give me-- give me this.

Yes. What have we got?

What's it called? What's it called?

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. Come on.

Come here, please.

Who's covering this ball?

Hi, Angie. Hi.

You like dogs?

What a lovely surprise.

There's a lot you don't know about me.

Wasn't sure I'd be seeing you again.

Tony's left for Cannes.

How fortuitous.

You know what day it is today?

First of May. Why?

First of May. First of May.

Outdoor f*cking starts today.

- Is that a thing?

- It is in Rutshire.

- God, you Brits are weird.

- You have no idea.

Mmm.

But as usual, it do rain.

So we f*ck off indoors again.

Going somewhere?

No, I thought I'd go home.

I have a meeting, but I'll be back soon

to give you a good send off.

You leaving me alone?

Mrs Bodkin's away.

You'll have the place to yourself.

Bacon and eggs in the fridge.

Make yourself at home.

- Oh.

- It's really happening, guys.

Oh! They look magnificent.

- Wonderful.

- They look fantastic.

- Oh, they look great.

- Very nice. It's great, isn't it?

- But this is top secret.

- Let's have a look.

There's no talking

about it until we launch.

Ah, that was the last version. Yes.

I know I deserve the cold shoulder.

Yeah. If you still think I'm an idiot.

I should never have said that.

Delivery for Mr Campbell-Black.

Thank you.

Cameron?

You wanna tell me about this?

Let me guess.

Venturer is a sports initiative

you're campaigning for? Hmm?

Hi. Hi.

Uh, I have to tell you something.

And I want you to hear me out

before you react.

I'm working with Declan and Freddie,

and we're putting in a bid

to get Tony out of the picture.

Don't be ridiculous.

We're Venturer.

And when we were in Spain,

I stole Corinium's franchise application

to help ours.

But we

How

Is that why you slept with me?

I knew.

I knew. I kn

I knew something wasn't right.

I knew something wasn't right.

Do you have any idea how hard

I've had to work to get where I am?

I saw an opportunity and I took it.

You'd have done the same.

So you don't care who you hurt

to get what you want, do you?

It wasn't personal.

Says every man

who's tried to screw me over.

Cameron.

- Look--

- But you won't bury me.

Just give me one minute to explain.

No. You'll just make me work harder

to be the baddest b*tch in this business.

Cameron.

Oh. And since we're being honest,

you may be my first Olympian,

but I think you're overrated.