[soft instrumental music]
[opera music]
[static]
[screaming]
[fast forwarding]
[yelling]
[fast forwarding]
[screaming]
[fast forwarding]
[yelling]
[fast forwarding]
[wheelbarrow creaking]
[fast forwarding]
[yelling]
[screaming]
[opera music]
[tape rewinding]
[tape abruptly stopping]
- [Boggs] Dude, all right.
Yeah, I just got the date thing.
Hang on.
Let's see,
why don't I,
no, maybe it's fade?
- [Robert] Dude.
- [Boggs] Oh.
[yelling]
- Dude.
[smacking]
[laughing]
[footsteps pattering]
[laughing]
[door opening]
Piss b*tch!
[squirting]
[mumbling]
[laughing]
- Go!
Berty!
f*cking go.
The one on the right, as*h*le.
[rock music]
- [Jen] Yeah, I don't know
if I'm doing this right.
Should there be a
light on or something?
- [Boggs] So, you
put it on there?
- Right by the skiing place.
- [Boggs] Dude, we
should put the logo
on the Rockwood, dude.
[laughing]
Wait, hold on a second.
Do that again.
Right there.
[plastic clanking]
[plastic clanking]
[rock music]
- [Lisa] Everett Road.
I think we turn left.
- Give me it.
[paper rustling]
No, we go straight through.
- Hang on, this is Riverview.
Ezra said to hang a Lester.
- Yeah, well, Ezra's a f*g.
- [Boggs] We're going straight.
Man, I should take
a dump off a there.
- We're okay.
It should be right up here.
- [Boggs] Man, soon
as MTV hears this,
we're just going to get all
over the place. [static]
Oh, we're getting warmer.
[static]
[Boggs] f*ck was that?
[mumbling]
[rock music]
Oh, man.
- [Lisa] Derek, come on. Stop...
- [Boggs] Shut up, Lis.
[laughing]
Oh dude, wait, wait.
Turn up here.
- [Robert] Here?
- [Boggs] Yeah.
[grass crunching]
- [Jen] Hurry up.
- [Boggs] Oh, miss me already?
Be right back.
[keys jingling]
[Robert] Stinks out here.
- [Boggs] We're in the boonies,
just stop being a p*ssy.
[gasping]
Oh, that is nasty.
- [Robert] Oh, man.
[flies buzzing]
[grass crunching]
Dude, looks like your
mom's gnarled bush.
- [Robert] Eat me, dude.
[laughing]
Hold on.
[rock music in background]
Hear that?
- [Boggs] What?
[rock music in background]
♪ It's not fair you leave me
♪ And watch you go
♪ Can we go back now
[sex sounds in distance]
Okay, yeah.
[groaning]
[laughing]
[Van beeps]
[Kids in van screaming]
- [Woman Having Sex] Oh, my God!
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Give it to her good,
you old f*ck! [laughing]
[static]
- [Man Having Sex]
Mother f*ck!
[screaming]
[engine starting]
[laughing]
[laughing]
- Did you guys
ever do that thing
in Dolan's class about
your personality?
Okay, if you could be a bear,
a monkey, or a rabbit,
which one would you be?
What about you?
- Bear.
- I guess I'd be a monkey.
- [Boggs] No, no.
A hawk.
Yeah, I'll be a hawk.
[static]
- Oh, my God.
Is your nose bleeding?
- I don't know, I guess.
[static]
- [Jen] Here.
Oh, my God.
- Whoa, whoa, Lise.
Are you okay?
sh*t Robert, pull over.
- Oh, my God.
- [Boggs] f*cking pull over.
[static]
[footsteps pattering]
- [Boggs] Hey, you okay, Lise?
[sniffling]
[mumbling in background]
[sobbing]
- I have a headache.
[sniffling]
[engine rumbling]
- [Boggs] Hippies.
- [Jen] Shouldn't
you not be allowed...
- [Boggs] Good lord.
- [Robert] I can smell
'em from here. [laughing]
- [Boggs] Oh.
Oh, man.
Oh, f*ck.
- [Jen] You could braid it.
- [Boggs] Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[laughing]
'Cause he's a whole f*cking
lot better [laughing].
- [Jen] Well, he's not as bad.
- [Lisa] That's your
boyfriend, you want him.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] He's like a little
scrawny bear [laughing].
Oh.
- [Jen] Ew, look at her armpits.
They like little squirrels.
- [Lisa] You could braid that.
- [Boggs] Oh.
[rock music]
That's it.
[rumbling]
[grass crunching]
[crickets chirping]
- Give a hoot.
Don't pollute.
[whistling]
[grass crunching]
- Oh, man.
- What?
- Holy sh*t.
- [Robert] See?
Told you.
- [Jen] Wow.
- Well, I take back
what I said about Ezra.
- [Robert] That's money.
- sh*t, we got a f*cking
garden salad here.
- [Jen] Party
tonight [laughing].
[mumbling]
- [Robert] You got a bag?
- [Boggs] Where
did it come from?
- [Robert] You got a bag, dude?
[grass crunching]
[mumbling]
- Who is that?
[static]
Guys...
[grass crunching]
- [Robert] He saw us, dude.
- [Jen] What is he doing?
What are we dong?
- [Boggs] Shut up.
- [Lisa] Derek,
what are we doing?
- [Boggs] Settle down, Beavis.
[static]
Berty, keep filming.
Everybody just play along.
[grass crunching]
- How you doing, man?
- [Boggs] Hey.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Whew [laughing].
- We're just hanging out.
- You looking for something?
- Yeah, Lisa lost her dog.
[Lisa] Derek.
It's a little Shih Tzu,
a little moppy looking thing.
You seen him around, though?
- No.
Mrs. Conger just wanted to know
what you kids were
doing out here.
- Just hanging out.
- She doesn't like folks
on her property, and uh...
I told her I'd come out and see.
So, everything's okay, then?
- Yeah.
- Yep.
- Good lucking finding your pup.
Lisa...
- Yeah?
- That is the prettiest.
Elizabeth.
- [Robert] Have a good one, man.
- When you find your puppy,
you best be on your way, okay?
[dog barking]
- No problem.
[grass crunching]
[yelling] Hey, Poody!
Pooo!
Here, Poody!
[whistling]
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Freak show.
Bert. You get all that?
- [Berty] Yeah.
- [Boggs] Sweet.
[dog barking in background]
[wind chimes]
[static]
- [Robert] Let's go, dude.
- [Jen] Get the f*ck over here.
[birds chirping]
- [Robert] Quit fartin'
around over there.
- [Jen] Come on,
we're f*ck' leaving.
[rock music]
- [Boggs] [mumbling]
every once in awhile.
[mumbling]
[static]
[engine rumbling]
- Hold on, I'll get you up.
- All right, right
foot, left foot.
Damn it.
Did you put grease on
these f*cking trees?
We will defeat you!
[sighing]
- Oh, God.
[yelling]
[laughing]
[mumbling]
- Double dog, f*ck,
that's a single dog, d*ck head.
I'll do it.
[gasping]
[laughing]
[coughing]
[wheels spinning]
- [Robert] 'Bout time.
- [Jen] Shut up.
[door opening]
[footsteps pattering]
- Nice of your sister
to let you use her bike.
[laughing]
[engines rumbling]
[Man In White Shirt]
Oh yeah that's way big.
[engine revving]
- This f*cking sucks.
Can we go?
[engine revving]
- [Boggs] Chello!
Hey!
- [Jen] God it's your boyfriend.
- Hey, Chello!
What's up, man?
Hey, Chello.
What's up, man?
- Hey, Salty.
[Boggs] Tiiigghhhtt.
- Like it?
- [Boggs] Hell yeah.
- Hop in, man.
- [Boggs] Oh, yeah, yeah.
It was a whole bunch of it.
We were just there.
We're going back tonight.
- Who told you about it?
- [Boggs] Remember Ezra?
- Ezra?
Ezra the f*g?
[laughing]
I don't see a light.
- [Boggs] Oh yeah,
I put tape over it.
- [Cello] Is that Missy
Naughton's little sister?
- [Boggs] Yep.
- [Chello] Is that your woman?
- [Boggs] Yeah.
- [Chello] Damn.
[laughing]
[lighter flicking]
[rock music]
You still play drums, Salty?
- [Boggs] Uh yeah,
I'm in a band.
[rock music]
- Cool.
- [Boggs] Yeah, we're
gonna start playing out
pretty soon, too.
- Well, if you need some
help getting rid of it, man,
just let me know.
I'll hook you up.
[engines revving]
- [Boggs] Yeah, cool.
Thanks, man.
- By Virginia Kendall
- [Boggs] Yeah, I guess.
Boston, I think?
Boston Town?
- Oh, Boston Mills.
[thunder rumbles]
Careful, dude.
- [Boggs] You been there?
- Eh, not for a couple years
but everybody's been there.
Million of stories
about Hell Town.
- [Boggs] What's that mean?
- Well, you aren't
gonna find it on any map
but that's what
everyone calls it.
Don't be caught in
the forest alone.
The trees and rocks
breathe on their own.
Spirits and m*rder,
the one-eyed hearse.
Boston Mills is a
town with a curse.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] You
making this sh*t up?
[thunder crackling]
- House in the woods,
a giggling ghost.
Survive the night to your
friends you will boast.
And if you see
Hattie's glowing gown,
you'll die alone in Hell Town.
Hell town.
Something like that.
I f*cked it up.
- [Boggs] sh*t.
- Yeah, your brother, man.
Me and him used to
go down in the woods
and scare the sh*t
out of all the chicks.
Drop 'em off in the woods
and show them the
haunted school bus
and tell them the story
about Hammer Hattie.
- [Boggs] Who's that?
- Hattie Fichtner.
Crazy ole b*tch.
Story back in the
[thunder crackling]
And she used to hang all her
kids toys from the trees.
Hoping they'd come home.
Crazy b*tch didn't even
know she k*lled 'em herself.
Crushed their
skulls with hammers.
Just punishment, or something.
- sh*t.
Oh, f*ck.
- Yeah.
Supposedly, it's
cursed ever since, man.
Like Rogue's Hollow,
Gore's Orphanage,
all that sh*t.
And make sure you take 'em up
and show 'em that church will
all those upside down crosses.
- [Boggs] So, what
about the school bus?
- Eh...
There's a whole bunch
of different versions
of that story
but basically,
there's a bus load of
kids out in the woods.
They get lured off the bus
and someone, or something,
murders 'em one at a time.
It was in the papers,
a whole bunch of stuff about it,
and I guess if you're
out there real late now,
you can still hear 'em crying.
- [Boggs] Uh yeah, kinda.
She was that girl
that ran away, right?
- Yeah.
You probably wouldn't
remember all the way
but they
found some of her
hair down there.
Don't get caught f*cking around.
Cops are dicks.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Is this bullshit?
- No, man.
There's this ghost
in the cemetery.
Can't find her grave,
wondering around all the time.
Yeah, you can look all this
sh*t up. It's all Hell Town.
Hell Town, Ohio.
hauntedohio.com.
You can see all this stuff.
And we used to go to crazy
house out in the woods.
Some people say it
was a funeral home.
It's on me, chief.
- [Boggs] Ah, thanks, dude.
- Yeah, you don't know
where you got it, though.
- [Boggs] Oh yeah,
don't know sh*t.
- Hey, have Tommy give
me a call, all right?
- [Boggs] Yeah.
Yeah, I will.
- All right.
Later, Salty
[thunder crackling].
[crickets chirping]
- Our mom's such a
b*tch, dude [laughing].
Dude, Lisa, the other day, okay,
she comes home from school all
teared out [crying noises],
she got a B in history.
A f*cking B.
God.
If I got a B in anything,
my mom would be doing nude
back flips in the front lawn.
I think she's in the kitchen.
You go get that one.
[crickets chirping]
[knocking]
[footsteps pattering]
One, two, three.
[screaming]
- Mom!
[laughing]
[door shutting]
[footsteps pattering]
- She locked us out.
Come on [knocking].
[engine rumbling]
- [Boggs] Dude,
it's not over here.
- [Lisa] What are
you looking for?
- [Boggs] Nothing.
Which road did we turn on?
- [Robert] Can't remember.
[crickets chirping]
- [Lisa] I can't see anything.
- [Boggs] Turn on
the night vision.
- [Lisa] How do I do that?
- [Boggs] Here, give it to me.
There.
Is it green?
- [Lisa] Yeah.
Ew.
You look creepy.
- [Berty] Hello?
[crickets chirping]
- [Lisa] Don't
wander off, you guys.
This is how it always starts.
[laughing]
[mumbling]
- You scared the sh*t
out of me. [laughing]
- [Robert] I was like,
what a d*ck. [laughing]
- [Lisa] I hate you.
Oh, my God.
- [Robert] I think we go left.
- [Boggs] I'm pretty
sure it's right.
Wasn't there...
- [Lisa] Derek, it was left.
- [Boggs] No, there
was a building over
there, wasn't there?
- [Lisa] No, it was left.
- [Boggs] Fine, left.
f*cking don't care if
we're here all night.
[grass crunching]
[sighing]
[squeaking wheel sound]
- [Lisa] Hey guys,
wait up a little.
- [Robert] It's
off to the right,
when we were going
down here, right?
- [Berty] Did we pass it?
- I don't think so.
I can't remember.
- [Boggs] No, it was the left.
- [Robert] There were two lefts?
- No, that would've taken
us back towards the car.
- [Lisa] I don't know.
I have no idea.
[grass crunching]
- I mean, we marked it
real clear, didn't we?
- [Robert] Yeah, we'd
see it if we passed it.
I hear something.
Do you hear it?
[creaking]
- [Jen] What is that?
- [Robert] You have
the bag with you, man?
- Yeah, I've got it here but...
- [Robert] Just checking.
- [Lisa] You guys
don't see anything yet?
- Okay, it's one of these.
There's a little path up there
and there's one over here.
- [Lisa] Hey guys, wait.
- [Berty] Let's go.
- [Boggs] What?
- [Lisa] You guys, wait.
- [Boggs And Derek] What?
- [Lisa] Oh my God,
is that a person?
- That would be a tree, Lise.
- [Lisa] No, you guys.
You guys, there's somebody here.
- [Boggs] No, there's not, Lisa.
- [Lisa] Yes.
You guys.
- Lisa, stop f*cking around.
- [Lisa] You guys, wait up.
You guys, wait.
- [Boggs And Robert] What?
- [Boggs] We're looking right
at the same place you are.
- [Lisa] You guys, we gotta go.
- You guys, wait up!
[laughing]
You guys!
- [Boggs] Lisa,
stop freaking out!
- [Lisa] You guys, wait!
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Watch
out for the tree!
- [Lisa] Wait!
[screaming]
- [Boggs] Lisa!
What...
[screaming]
[screaming]
Settle down!
- [Lisa] You guys, wait!
[static]
[gasping]
[camera drop thud]
[static]
[birds chirping]
- [Boggs] Well, it's
working fine now.
- What?
- [Boggs] Get up and
walk or something.
- Why?
- [Boggs] Just get up and walk.
[dog barking]
- [Boggs] Piece of poop.
- What's wrong with it?
[thudding]
- [Boggs] Awuga!
[laughing]
[thudding]
You think you can
handle that, sweetheart?
[thudding]
Punk kids!
Don't mess with the U.S. mail!
[laughing]
[laughing]
- [Robert] The internet.
- That chick, with snot
hanging out of her nose,
and sh*t.
- Yeah?
- I was just talking to Tanya.
She said those kids
are still missing.
[paper rustling]
- You can be in our video.
- [Jen] I don't think so.
- Yeah, in a tube top.
- So, what are
you reading there?
[papers rustling]
- [Jen] Jesus.
[groaning]
[smacking]
[smacking]
[smacking]
[smacking]
- Ow!
[smacking]
- [Boggs] Ow, f*ck!
- [Robert] Kids.
- How can you stand him?
- [Boggs] There's no
place you can put that
where you know I
won't go after it.
Two, one, fire at will!
[eggs smashing]
There it is.
- [Lisa] I'm out of eggs.
[mumbling]
- [Boggs] Hey, so you guys
wanna hear something? His Mom...
- Hey, guess what.
They were playing
"Candy Man" in there.
- [Boggs] Oh, I'm sorry.
What, were you talking?
- Hi, how are you?
- [Boggs] So, his mom offered
to buy him brand spanking
new 1999 Ford Mustang GT.
- [Jen] Wow, Robert.
That's pretty cool.
- [Boggs] For free, too.
Doesn't have to do sh*t.
Said he didn't want it.
- Why?
- [Boggs] He's a
dicklick. I don't know,
he's keeping that piece of sh*t.
- Guys, look.
- [Boggs] Hey maybe we
should give your mom a ride.
[static]
[mumbling]
- [Boggs] Shut up, woman.
- [Jen] Don't tell
me to shut up.
- So, what is a...what was it?
Hosto?
- [Jen] It's a hostel, dumb a*s.
- What the f*ck's that?
- [Jen] It's like a cheap
hotel boarding house
where travelers stay.
- [Robert] Yeah,
I've stayed in one.
- [Jen] They're everywhere.
- [Lisa] When did
you stay in one?
- [Robert] Oh, Canada.
Thought you knew that.
You didn't know that?
- When the f*ck
were you in Canada?
- Mother f*ck!
- What's up, member
us, mother f*ck!...
- [Boggs] What did we do?
- You remember us, huh?
Gimme that camera!
[Boggs] Holy sh*t, go!
- [Boggs] Start the damn car!
f*ck you, man!
- [Robert] Where
did they come from?
- Holy sh*t.
What the f*ck was their problem?
[honking]
[rock music]
- [Robert] d*ck.
- [Jen] Ew, what is that?
- [Lisa] It's a statue.
- [Bogggs] It's not a
statue, it's a dude.
[church bell ringing]
[groaning]
[car door opening]
- [Lisa] Oh.
- Dude, there was a kick
a*s lookin' building
behind that church up there.
I can't really see
what's inside of it
but it looks totally sweet.
Come on, Berty.
You and me.
- [Berty] No.
- Ah dude, come on.
Double dog.
- [Berty] Take Robert.
- f*ck, I'm not taking Robert.
I'm taking you, timid Teddy.
[laughing]
- [Robert] Timid Teddy?
- [Jen] Triple dog?
- [Lisa] You guys
know what'll happen
if we get caught, right?
- [Jen] God'll get ya.
[laughing]
- [Lisa] Seriously, Derek.
It's a church.
- Shut up, Lise.
So come on, p*ssy lips.
You in?
[laughing]
- [Berty] All right.
- Yes.
Grab the flashlight,
dude [laughing].
- [Berty] Beep if anybody comes.
- You got it, Berty.
- [Berty] Seriously.
Somebody comes, I'll beep.
- [Boggs] Dude, and no
shenanigans while we're gone.
Give me the keys.
- [Berty] Beep three times,
like beep, beep, beep.
- Give me the keys.
Give me the f*cking keys.
[keys jingling]
- Whatever, dude.
- [Boggs] That's right.
- [Jen] You guys want
some flashlights?
- [Boggs] Oh yeah,
give me those.
Here, Berty.
[footsteps pattering]
Just wait 'till
you see this thing.
Come on, Berty.
Let's go.
[grass crunching]
[insects buzzing]
- [Berty] I don't know, Boogs...
- [Boggs] What the f*ck?
[thudding]
[flies buzzing]
Come on, Berty.
Whoa!
[thudding]
[laughing]
Damn, dude.
Here.
- [Berty] Let's go.
- Hang on, man.
[footsteps pattering]
[music box twinkling]
- [Berty] What's that?
[music box twinkling]
Boggs, can we just go?
- [Boggs] Hang on, man.
[footsteps pattering]
Who are you, Let's go, Larry.
[scraping]
[yelling]
It's just a mouse, dude.
- [Berty] Can we go?
Please.
- [Boggs] Oh man, we
should call the library.
See if there's a
reward for this one.
Oh dude, check these out.
[scraping]
I want one of these for my room.
Good citizen at school.
Obey school rules.
[mumbling]
- [Berty] Can we go?
- Hang on, dude.
- A good citizen
keeps good posture
when sitting,
standing, and walking.
These are hilarious.
Good citizen is fit and healthy
in mind and-
[car horn blowing]
- [Berty] What...
Come on, Boggs, let's go.
Who's that?
[creaking]
God, Boggs.
[creaking]
[static]
[creaking]
- Dude, there's no
other way. [static]
[music box playing]
Dude, run!
[footsteps pattering]
Come on, Berty.
- [Berty] I'm come...
[footsteps pattering]
[coughing]
Where are they?
- [Boggs] What are
you talking about?
- [Boggs] What the hell?
[footsteps pattering]
- [Boggs] Where
the f*ck are they?
[engine starting]
Oh!
Those f*ck.
It was them.
God.
[laughing]
- I wish I had a camera
right now. [laughing]
- [Boggs] You b*stards.
Which one of you
guys was up there?
[puking]
- [Boggs] Wait, check it out.
Hey, Lise.
Mom's making some
Salisbury steak
and thick gravy for dinner.
[puking]
[laughing]
Every time.
[static]
[thudding]
[Robert] All right,
Berty. Phone.
- All right, be quiet.
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, could I have a four
d*ck salad sandwiches
with some extra butt sauce?
[laughing]
Hey dude, I gotta stay
at your house tonight.
- Yeah, cool.
- All right.
- b*tch.
- Your b*tch.
[laughing]
- [Robert] Probably just a
dirty filter or something.
Or bad spark plugs, maybe.
- Yeah, or it's a
big piece of poop.
[footsteps pattering]
- [Robert] All right, I'll film.
- Ah, no sh*t.
[door creaking]
[door unlocking]
[door shutting]
[stairs creaking]
[low television sound]
[thudding]
Hit the switch.
[switch flipping]
[siren]
[Hey, good mornin', Berty]
[laughing]
[siren continues]
[Berty] Get outta here!
[siren continues]
We'll be outside, Berty.
Get outta here!
We'll be just outside.
- [Berty] Get out of here!
[laughing]
- Did you get that?
[knocking]
- What?
Hi, b*tch.
- [Boggs] What's up, sl*t?
- Nice to see you [kissing].
Get out of here.
Get out, you're too
close [laughing].
- Just wait 'till
you guys see this.
- What happened?
- [Boggs] It's awesome.
- [Lisa] What happened?
- Boggs, shut up.
[footsteps pattering]
- Whoa, sweet.
[mumbling in background]
Berty, why don't you
pull you socks up?
Pull those up, man.
You'll look cool, you'll
be like my grandpa.
[clanging]
[yelling]
- [Boggs] Are you okay there...
- Why did I listen to you?
Ow [laughing].
- [Boggs] There's a very...
- Yeah.
- [Boggs] All right.
- I've never tried a
threesome before, so...
- [Boggs] Rob,
she said she's in.
Uh, I don't know what
you're taking about.
- [Boggs] Bullshit.
- We were talking about you.
- [Boggs] That's
what I'm thinking.
What the f*ck are
you talking about?
- We're just talking
about like what
a f*cking dumb a*s you are.
- [Boggs] Uh-huh.
- Can we do stuff that
normal teens do, like
just...smoke pot and drink..
- [Boggs] f*ck
normal teens, man.
You don't have to be
part of the system.
[laughing]
- [Robert] Down
with the machine.
- Lisa has a huge
crush on Robert.
- [Lisa] Shut up.
- [Boggs] Who can blame her?
He's pretty.
- I know.
[laughing]
Are you attracted to him?
For real.
- [Boggs] What?
- Do you like Robert?
[laughing]
If I ever leave you,
I'm going right over there.
- [Boggs] Oh, I don't
blame ya. [laughing]
You ever break my heart,
he's gonna be there
to pick those pieces
right back up.
- Oh, yeah.
- [Boggs] Berty,
even though you can't hear me
'cause you're
always off in that,
spaced out, f*cked up little
Berty world of yours...
- [Robert] He hotter
than you. [laughing]
- [Boggs] I love you.
You dirty little
piece of man wh*re.
I love you.
[laughing]
I knew you didn't
have those things on!
I knew it!
[laughing]
Ah!
[rock music]
- [Boggs] Oh, that is awesome.
- [Robert] Let's
f*cking go, man.
- [Boggs] Look, it's them.
- No, it's not.
- [Boggs] Who the
f*ck else drives that?
[laughing]
- [Lisa] Really.
[Robert] Everybody's got one.
Dude, cut it, cut it!
[clanking]
- [Boggs] Give me one
of those. [mumbling]
- [Jen] Oh, sh*t.
- [Boggs] sh*t, [mumbling]
[door opening]
[can shaking]
- [Lisa] Oh my god...
[laughing]
- [Robert] He's so dumb.
[yelling]
[laughing]
What the f*ck you doing?
[laughing]
[mumbling]
- [Jen] What's he doing?
- [Boggs] I don't know.
- [Boggs] Who the f*ck is that?
Ahem!
Ahem.
[coughing]
- [Robert] You okay?
- [Boggs] Everybody cough fake.
[coughing]
Creep.
[coughing]
- MTV?
- [Boggs] Yeah.
Well, why not?
- 'Cause there's two
members of your band
and they both suck.
- [Robert] Whoa [laughing].
- [Boggs] What are
you talking about?
We're the hot new duo
on the music scene.
Ain't that right, Bobby?
- Right.
- Why don't you want a new car?
- I don't know.
- It's free.
- I don't know, maybe
it's more fun parking
that piece of sh*t
in her driveway.
[laughing]
- Guys.
- What?
- [Berty Who is that?
- [Boggs] Check out that hat.
- [Lisa] Don't.
- Fine.
- [Lisa] Oh, sh*t.
Go!
[footsteps pattering]
- Didn't I tell you?
His little boyfriend, I knew it.
- [Lisa] What else does it say?
- [Jen] Haunted Ohio.
Are you f*cking kidding me?
Read It, It's Cool!
- [Jen] Oh, that's fascinating.
- Hearse, haunted school bus.
Satanic church.
The church with some
upside down cross on it
- The highway to hell.
The crazy house in the woods.
No wonder we're here
every f*cking day.
[yelling]
Gimme it.
[laughing]
- [Jen] I wasn't
done reading them.
- [Boggs] f*cking wrestlers.
Oh.
Ah.
- Highway to hell.
Crazy house in the woods again.
- I can't hold him any longer.
- Can we go to the
satanic church?
[groaning]
[laughing]
Get off.
Get off.
[laughing]
Wait, I wanna go to the church
with the upside down cross.
- I don't know.
Maybe he owns this land.
- He owns a state park?
- Maybe he works for
the park service?
[thudding]
- [Boggs] Ow!
Ah, mother f*ck.
- [Berty] You okay?
- [Boggs] Ah, damn it.
The f*ck was that?
- [Jen] You are bleeding.
Oh, God.
- [Boggs] Is it bad?
- [Jen] Yeah.
[Robert] It doesn't look good.
- [Boggs] Oh, sh*t.
- [Jen] You're gonna need
like stitches or something.
- [Boggs] Don't
worry about it, here.
Gross.
[laughing]
Hey, I'm bleeding.
You can't...
[laughing]
[Robert] Make it
bleed a little worse.
- [Robert] Dude,
dude, get off me.
You're bleeding
on me [laughing].
- Ow.
[thudding]
- [Berty] Derek
Boggman will do it.
[door shutting]
[Boggs] Come on, Lis.
[door creaking]
[Lisa] This is not a good idea.
- [Boggs] Yes.
Come on, girls.
Destiny awaits. Get up there.
- [Robert] All right,
get down, dude.
Berty, get down.
- [Boggs] We don't want that
fro of yours sticking out.
- [Robert] Hurry up!
[laughing]
- [Boggs] My grandma walks
faster that them, geez.
Just do it.
- [Robert] Dude,
you stink, dude.
- [Boggs] Uh no, that's Berty.
- [Robert] Berty, you stink.
[laughing]
[knocking]
- The hell are they waiting for?
- [Boggs] What are they
still doing? Come back here!
[laughing]
[footsteps pattering]
f*cking amateurs.
Get down.
- [Boggs] Wait a second.
- [Lisa] Can we go home now?
- [Boggs] No.
Lisa, shut the f*ck up.
- [Robert] Come on, grandpa.
Where you at?
- [Robert] Dude, let's go.
We're going in.
[mumbling]
Shh.
- [Boggs] I saw something.
- [Robert] Where?
Ewww.
- [Boggs] What?
Go back and...
Go, go!
[mumbling]
- [Robert] What the...
- [Boggs] Whoa.
What the f*ck?
[opera music]
[door bell ringing]
- [Robert] Dude, they're
just standing there.
- [Boggs] What's the
deaf duo's problem?
[mumbling]
[laughing]
Let's go, dude.
No one's answering.
Yeah, we know.
Let's go.
- [Boggs] Whatever.
[footsteps pattering]
Dude, what are you...
Dude, don't.
- [Boggs] There's one.
[glass breaking]
- [Robert] Oh, my God.
[mumbling]
[laughing]
- [Boggs] That was it.
We gotta go!
[door opening]
[door closing]
[rock music]
There he is.
Don't wreck.
[door opening]
Woo!
Hey, Berty!
How you like that?
What's Deaf Danny's problem?
[car honking]
Woo-hoo [clapping]!
How you like that, Berty?
Yeah, I know your mom does.
Hey!
Go dude, go.
Later, Berty.
[door closing]
[laughing]
Watch the road!
- [Boggs] Holy sh*t, dude.
- Ahh.
- [Boggs] Holy sh*t.
Nice job there, Berty.
Beautiful.
[laughing]
- [Jen] No.
Didn't sound...
[coughing]
- [Boggs] That's his sister.
[rock music]
Yeah.
Hey!
Hey, dude!
What's up, man?
What are you..
Lil' crotch.
- [Boggs] Hey, don't
Bogart my doobage.
[rock music]
- [Lisa] Oh, that's
how it works.
That's cool, it
just occurred to me.
- You don't remember that?
Thought you knew that.
- Oh, sh*t.
Here we go.
- Dead serious, dude.
- Yeah, so there were
like five of 'em.
You don't even remember
how many guys jumped you?
- Nope.
It all happened so fast.
- Oh, it all happened so fast.
- [Robert] Shut up, man.
[laughing]
I'll bet you kicked
all their asses though,
didn't you?
- Hey, I'm still here, ya know.
- Yep.
[coughing]
Just like Canada, too, huh?
[laughing]
So, what part of Canada
were you in again?
- I don't remember.
- [Boggs] Mmm.
- Montreal, I think.
[coughing]
- Yeah, yeah, that sounds right.
[coughing]
- Whatever, dude.
[coughing]
- So, you see any action
up there? [coughing]
I think it's weird that you
went on a trip to Canada
a couple years ago,
and none of us, you know,
your closest and
dearest friends,
don't seem to remember that.
[laughing]
I mean, Lis,
you don't remember that, do you?
[laughing]
Jen?
- [Jen] Nope.
- And Berty, you
gotta remember that...
Yeah, okay.
[coughing]
I'll bet you tagged some
little Canadian honey
up there, too, didn't ya?
[Boggs] Fibbin' Frank.
[static]
[beeping]
- [CB Talk] 10-two, Nator.
Brush your teeth and
comb your hair, Big Z.
Kojak with a Kodak.
- This is Flying Monkey.
Hidy-h* there, Big Z.
What's your 20?
[laughing]
- [Big Z] 10-4, Monkey.
Got a 1042 88, god damn,
slow as molasses.
[laughing]
- Um, oh, oh.
At your back door there, Big Z.
That's you up in the white rig
down the hammer lane?
[laughing]
- [Jen] You dumb a*s.
[laughing]
[static]
- Got yours on there, Big Z.
- [Big Z] What's your
handle there, partner?
- This is...
- [Jen] You're an idiot.
- sh*t, was was I...
This is Monkey, um...
Hey there, Big Z [laughing].
- You drinking barley
pop there, alligator?
We got an appliance
here, Nator 8.
[beeping]
[static]
- [Nator 8] You can't
be too far, Big Z.
Bubble Gummer's
in a four-wheeler.
[laughing]
- What's that there, Big Z?
Come back now.
[static]
[beeping]
- [Big Z] What's your
first personal, alligator?
- My first name is, you f*gg*t,
my first name is
f*ck you [laughing]!
- [Big Z] You better pray
to your momma [laughing]
you don't ever see me coming...
[laughing]
Mother f*ck.
I will split your...
[static]
[beeping]
a*s wide open.
You read me, chief?
- Hey, Big Z.
Come back here with that
potty mouth of yours.
[static]
Big Z.
Big zero.
[laughing]
Kid toucher.
[cb laughing]
[static]
Hey, Z.
You there, fatty?
[static]
- [Child On Radio]
White's my favorite color.
- Hey there, chief.
What's your handle?
[static]
Hello?
What's your 10-20 there,
partner [laughing]?
[static]
Hey, hello.
Who the hell am I talking to?
[static]
- [Child On Radio]
There you are.
[static]
- Come back on that?
[static]
Come back, chief.
[child laughing]
[static]
[child laughing]
Hey, who was that?
Where are you?
[static]
[beeping]
- [Child On Radio]
It's happening again.
[static]
- What's your 20 there?
[beeping]
[static]
- [Child On Radio]
I seeee yooouuu.
[child laughing]
[static]
- Hello.
Hello, who is this?
[child laughing]
[beeping]
[static]
- How f*cked up is that?
- [Boggs] Come back?
[static]
[beeping]
Whatever.
[door screeching]
sh*t.
Ah, look.
It's Lisa's boyfriend.
Um, pardon me, ma'am.
- Yes?
- We're doing a
report for school
and I was wondering if I
can ask you some questions
about the Boston Mills area?
- [Waitress] Sure.
- [Boggs] So, when
was it founded?
- Um...
Right, Ray ?
- 1806.
Oldest village in Summit County.
Used to be a mill town.
A paper mill.
- [Boggs] Oh, are there
still paper mills?
- [Ray] No, son.
They've been gone
for some time now.
Norm here, he can tell
you just about anything
about Boston Mills, son.
Norm.
- Hm?
- He's doing a paper
for Civics class.
- [Norm] Okay.
- His brother, Kenny,
worked at the mills.
Give 'em a little lesson, Norm.
- Well, built the
first mill in 1820
and the railroad
came through Boston
at around 1880.
Town flourished for years.
But by the...
- [Boggs] Yeah, that's
not really interesting
but why do they call
it Hell Town, Ray?
[static]
- [Waitress] So, that's
what this is all about?
- [Boggs] Oh, well I was
just wondering, ma'am.
- Well, it is the
seventh of June.
- [Boggs] Okay.
- [Ray] Isn't school
out for the summer, son?
- [Boggs] Well, um...
[static]
- Need a refill?
You always like it topped off.
Hey, Norm.
Norm, you okay?
[door creaking]
[mumbling]
- [Boggs] Yeah, sure.
[gasping]
[static]
Gotta get back in the studio.
- Oh, shut up.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] You should
join our band.
Yeah, do backup.
- [Lisa] Okay, Derek.
- Backup?
You guys don't
even have a singer.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] We're so good we
don't even need a singer.
Just drums and guitar.
- [Jen] Oh, God.
- [Boggs] I'm serious, Lisa.
I mean, dad told me you
rock on the skin flute.
[laughing]
Yeah, you can play that.
- Ha, ha.
- [Boggs] Here he
comes, here he comes.
[mumbling]
- Uh-oh.
[laughing]
Uh-oh.
[laughing]
[sighing]
- [Boggs] Oh, sorry, Cappy.
[laughing]
Hippy trash
[laughing]
[static]
- Dirty bird, got your ears on?
[static]
[beeping]
- [Dirty Bird] This is Bird.
[beeping]
[static]
- We got a problem here.
Bus lost a f*cking wheel.
[static]
[beeping]
- [Dirty Bird] You
still at the diner?
- Uh, what do you think?
[static]
[beeping]
- [Berty] Should we just go?
- [Boggs] No way.
[laughing]
- [Robert] Holy sh*t.
- [Jen] Is that that lady
from the woods?
- We are f*cked.
- [Robert] Yeah.
- [Berty] Yeah, hold on.
Let's just see.
- [Robert] Easy, easy.
[engine starting]
- [Boggs] Too loud.
- [Lisa] Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Oh sh*t, Robert.
[laughing]
Look at him go.
[screaming]
- [Robert] We've
been driving forever.
- [Boggs] Just keep going, man.
Wait, there's trucks.
[mumbling]
- [Robert] By the truck?
- [Boggs] Yeah.
It should be up here. Wait,
no, there it is, whoa.
Back up, back up, back up.
- [Jen] There's
no people in that.
- [Boggs] Well, there
was on the tape.
Hey, Jen.
Double dog.
- [Jen] What?
- Go see if there's
anybody inside.
- [Jen] See what?
- Go see if there's
anyone inside.
Come on, no, okay.
You have to take, okay,
yeah, you've gotta go
and sit in the last seat
for a whole minute,
with the camera
and the flashlight.
- [Jen] Okay.
- Here you go, toots.
- [Jen] Okay.
- Remember, we'll
beep three times right
before minute's up,
or whatever.
- [Jen] Okay.
- Just be careful out there...
[gasping]
- [Jen] Derek!
[laughing]
[clapping]
- [Boggs] Okay, sweet a*s.
Get out there.
- [Jen] Okay.
No, turn them on.
[gasping]
- [Robert] p*ssy.
- [Jen] Shut up.
f*ck.
- [Boggs] Hey, got
get 'em, k*ller.
[footsteps pattering]
- [Jen] Oh, my God.
[footsteps pattering]
Oh, my God.
[thudding]
There's no one in here.
[footsteps pattering]
[slamming]
I can't open it!
- [Boggs] What?
[thudding]
[screaming]
[thudding]
- [Jen] Oh, my God.
[screaming]
- [Boggs] Jen, you okay?
[screaming]
- [Jen] Oh, my God.
- [Boggs] Where's the...
Damn it, Jen!
[grass crunching]
[scuffling]
Damn it, Jen.
[sighing]
Who'd she see?
Jen, don't drop
my f*cking camera.
- [Jen] Oh, my God
there's someone in there.
- [Boggs] Can you be more
careful with my sh*t?
- [Jen] Derek, there's
someone in there.
- [Boggs] Bullshit. You just
said that a little while ago.
There's nobody in there.
Don't worry about it.
- I saw someone.
I didn't see you wasting
any time either, Derek.
- [Lisa] Yeah, Derek.
- [Boggs] I was just
worried about my camera.
- [Robert] We'll watch
it when we get home.
[can shaking]
[spray paint spraying]
- [Robert] Dude.
Dude, we gotta go.
There's somebody out here.
- [Jen] Come on, you guys.
Let's go.
- [Lisa] Derek, we're
gonna be in trouble.
- [Boggs] Check that sh*t up.
- [Robert] Dude,
nice, we gotta go.
- Okay.
You know, sometimes, I just
don't know why we don't
leave your dead a*s home.
- [Jen] Double dog?
- [Boggs] Me.
- [Jen] I dare you to
see if anyone's sleeping
in that van.
- [Boggs] f*ck, Lisa'd do that.
- [Lisa] Oh, okay.
- [Robert] Dude, you
took the dare, man.
- [Boggs] Just pull up here.
- [Robert] Okay.
- [Boggs] Give me that light.
Where is it?
All right, dude.
Get ready to punch it.
- [Jen] Oh, you're not
getting out of the car, p*ssy?
- [Boggs] Shut the f*ck up.
- [Robert] Turn it on.
- [Boggs] There it is.
- [Robert] Okay.
[howling]
Wake up, ya hippies!
[laughing]
[static]
Where are you, dirty b*stards?
[laughing]
[static]
Whoa.
- [Lisa] Robert.
- [Boggs] God damn it.
- [Lisa] Robert?
[whooshing]
- [Boggs] Come on, Betty.
- [Jen] Robert, are
you f*cking around?
[Robert] Probably
that stupid light.
- [Lisa] Who is that?
- [Boggs] Come one, Betty.
Robert come turn
the f*cking car on.
- [Jen] What is that?
- [Lisa] Go!
[static]
[footsteps pattering]
- I'm just gonna go on ahead.
- [Jen] Okay.
[footsteps pattering]
Oh, gross.
That's disgusting.
Later, dudes!
[laughing]
[splashing]
[laughing]
[splashing]
[laughing]
[splashing]
[laughing]
- [Jen] All right, uh-uh,
you guys are so cool.
I'm leaving.
- [Boggs] Hey, where you going?
- [Jen] Bye.
I'm leaving. [Get
back here, woman.]
- [Boggs] That's right,
you come back here.
- [Jen] See ya.
[mumbling in background]
Bye.
Come back with my camera!
[screaming]
- Holy f*ck.
You f*cking c**t.
Come here [laughing].
She threw up again.
[mumbling in background]
- [Boggs] Hey, Lise.
[laughing]
- What the f*ck?
- [Boggs] Huh?
Oh, no way.
- [Berty] We didn't park there.
- No sh*t.
We came in over here
and parked there.
[grass rustling]
- [Robert] Give them more
than a flat tire. [laughing]
[lighter flicking]
- I don't think
it's funny anymore.
- Maybe they're deaf.
[laughing]
- [Boggs] Yeah, deaf ret*rds.
- No, twin deaf ret*rds.
- When I looked
through that window,
that was creepy.
- [Lisa] I wouldn't go
back there if you paid me.
- I can't believe this.
You guys are all pussies.
All of you.
- Were you holding the camera?
- Dude, I was there.
And I saw the tape.
It wasn't scary,
that was stupid.
- Oh yeah?
Care to make it interesting?
- What you got?
- 50.
You go in there tonight.
- Guys, I really
don't want to go back.
Stay home.
- [Robert] You go in there,
you gotta take something.
- No, I think Berty should go.
That sounds like his.
- [Berty] No f*cking way.
- I'm not going back.
[laughing]
- Did you hear that?
Berty dropping an
f b*mb up here.
You're right, your mom
said we're a bad influence
on you.
- Are you going?
You go in and...
- [Boggs] How am I just
supposed to go in there?
Just be like, "Hey,
what's up, ret*rds?"
- You sneak in there.
You go upstairs,
you grab a pillow.
Proof.
- [Lisa] Not doing it, no way.
- Stay home.
You going?
- Tonight?
- Tonight.
- Deal.
[thudding]
[laughing]
Don't throw me your shitty
girl cigarettes [laughing].
I still can't believe
yous aid f*ck [laughing].
How'd that taste in
your mouth, Berty?
Your little dirty mouth.
[laughing]
Let's get out of here.
[engine rumbling]
[static]
Lisa Boggman,
livin' la vida loca.
Oh, sh*t.
Guess who.
[engine revving]
[laughing]
Assholes!
Turn off the lights.
- Oh, yeah.
Thank you [laughing].
- [Lisa] Did they turn around?
Why don't they just
leave us alone?
- [Robert] Think they want
some of this. [laughing]
- [Boggs] Yeah, man.
They're afraid of ya.
- [Robert] Here they come.
- [Lisa] What do they want?
[engine rumbling]
- I better see a pillow.
[train whistling]
[thudding]
- I hope you little
mother f*ck
are enjoying
yourselves in there.
[footsteps pattering]
[door opening]
[train whistling]
f*ck.
Oh, man. [metal knocking loudly]
[yelling]
- [Boggs] Holy f*ck.
That's f*cked up.
- [Boggs] What
the f*ck was that?
Robert, your flashlight
f*cking sucks.
Mother f*ck.
Whoa.
It's okay.
It's 50 bucks.
[door opening]
Okay, okay...
[opera music]
Where is everybody?
They're playing
their music again.
[grandfather clock chiming]
This is f*cked up.
[static]
sh*t. [breathing heavy]
- [Boggs] Who f*ck'
decorates this place.
[static]
- [Boggs] All right, okay.
We're okay.
- [Boggs] Go upstairs now.
[static]
- [Boggs] One step at a time.
One step at a time.
[footsteps pattering]
[static]
Okay, okay, okay.
- [Boggs] sh*t.
- [Boggs] Okay.
Okay.
sh*t.
[record player static]
Okay...
No one in here.
Where are they?
What the hell?
[static]
Okay.
[thudding]
- [House Owner] There's
one in the house.
- [Boggs] f*ck.
[static]
[footsteps pattering]
[lighter flicking]
[heavy breathing]
[footsteps pattering]
Oh, my God.
[footsteps pattering]
Oh, my God.
[Homeowner] They're
parked out in the van.
[footsteps pattering]
- [House Owner] Is he up there?
- [Boggs] Oh, my God
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God,
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
[heavy breathing]
[footsteps pattering]
[heavy breathing]
[footsteps pattering]
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
[heavy breathing]
[record skip, opera music]
[footsteps pattering]
[whispering]
Oh, sh*t!
Holy f*ck.
What the...
[LOUD footsteps getting closer]
Oh, my God.
Derek go!
[mumbling]
sh*t.
sh*t.
[groaning]
Holy f*ck.
What the hell [mumbling]?
[yelling]
Go!
f*ck it, Robert.
Start the f*cking car!
[heavy breathing]
Holy f*ck, dude.
- [Robert] What was that all
about, dude? [engine starting]
You dropped the pillow.
- [Boggs] Get the..
I don't care about
the f*cking pillow.
Go!
- [Robert] What?
- [Lisa] Derek Boggman,
was that the scaredest
you've ever been?
- [Jen] I wanna see it.
- Think it was
those ret*rds, man.
Turn those lights off,
you can't see sh*t.
I swear, it was like
they were speaking
a different language
or something.
- [Robert] You wanna go back?
- [Boggs] f*ck you, dude.
[laughing] I just wanted
us to see some creepy sh*t
but now, I'm done
[thunder cracking].
Damn.
sh*t.
- [Robert] Holy cow.
- [Boggs] So,
where's my 50, Stain?
- [Robert] It was a five.
- [Boggs] What?
No, my a*s that was a five.
- [Jen] Oh, sh*t.
- [Lisa] What?
- [Jen] sh*t, it's Wednesday.
f*ck.
- [Boggs] What?
- [Jen] Pull over.
- [Robert] Why?
- [Jen] Just pull over.
- Man, where are we?
[thunder crackling]
- [Jen] Mom?
Mom, I'm at Derek's.
I know, I'm sorry.
[static]
What?
[Boggs] What's up her cooz?
We were watching a
movie and I fell asleep.
I know, tell them I'm sorry.
All right, oh God.
Okay, mom.
Jesus, I'm sorry.
- [Boggs] Hi, Mrs. Naughton.
[thunder cracking]
- [Jen] All right,
I'll be home in a bit.
Okay, I'll leave right now.
Jesus.
Bye.
Mimi and Papa's
anniversary was tonight
and I totally forgot,
so now I'm f*cked.
Oh sh*t.
- [Boggs] Oh sh*t, there's
somebody out there. [thudding]
- [Jen] Oh, my God.
sh*t!
Lock it!
- [Lisa] Oh, my God.
[yelling]
[thudding]
Robert, go!
GO!!!
I can't hold this think!
[yelling]
[thudding]
Holy sh*t, man!
- [Boggs] f*cking go, dude!
- [Jen] Go!
[static]
[footsteps pattering]
[laughing]
- Shut up.
- [Boggs] So, what do you
guys want to do today?
Go to Boston Mills, maybe,
and just hang out?
- [Robert] Man, it's
kinda funny right now
but Jesus Christ.
- [Boggs] Come on.
It's still kinda funny.
- I have to work at four.
- [Boggs] Call off.
We got a mission.
- Oh, okay.
- [Robert] Who
the f*ck was that?
- [Derek's Mother] Derek!
- [Boggs] Yeah, we're comin'.
- [Robert] Okay,
so where is it at?
- I think we should
just call the cops.
- Mom's credit card's in there.
My ring.
sh*t.
- [Berty] We really
should just call the cops.
- [Robert] Hell no, dude.
We're not calling the cops.
We can handle this.
- I think it's by the river.
You know, by those rocks
we were sitting on?
- [Robert] Quadruple dog.
[whistling]
- [Boggs] Yeah, we're coming!
God.
- [Robert] You think
it's by the river?
- I don't know.
Mom asked me for the
credit card yesterday.
All I could see is my purse
sitting by those rocks.
'Bout crapped my pants.
I told her it was at your house.
- [Boggs] Don't sweat it, Lise.
We'll get it.
- I don't wanna go back there.
I really don't wanna go
back there, you guys.
- [Boggs] It's okay, Lise.
I mean, we'll be all right.
I'm serious.
Hey, you wanna know
why I picked the hawk?
- No.
- Because I can swoop down
and grab you stupid
little monkeys
with my big giant talons.
You know, just throw you
both over a dog a*s cliff.
- [Derek's Mother] Derek!
- [Boggs] Maybe head over
to Bert the Bear's house
and just take a big
ole' dump on him.
[laughing]
[whistling]
Holy hell, mother!
Yeah, I'll be right there!
[sighing]
[bird cawing]
You guys okay?
Let's go get us a purse.
[footsteps pattering]
sh*t's tight.
You need a new beat.
f*ck you.
[laughing]
Oh, you haven't
learned a new chord
since we started.
One riff Roger over here.
- [Robert] Oh, whatever, dude.
All right, whatever.
[mumbling]
- [Boggs] What did your dad
say about that studio time?
- [Robert] Costs
an arm and a leg.
Where you getting money from?
- [Boggs] Well, you know,
I figure all the money your
folks are saving [thudding]
with this sh*t, instead
of that new car of yours...
- Derek, can we go?
- Yeah, sure.
FILM IT ALL.
- [Robert] Derek.
- [Boggs] Huh?
Oh, yeah [door closing].
- [Robert] Do it.
[thudding]
What's up, Lise.
[engine rumbling]
- So stupid.
Maybe we should call the cops.
[beeping]
[static]
- [Jen] Derek says
you're a p*ssy.
- The tell him to
quit f*cking around.
- [Berty] Slow down, dude.
- Where are they, dude?
Ask them where they are.
[beeping]
- [Boggs] Where are you twats?
[static]
- Did they pull off?
[static]
[beeping]
- [Berty] Where are you guys at?
[static]
- [Boggs] I think...
[static]
shortcut...
[static]
we were before.
- Dude, they pulled off.
[Lisa] He's just being stupid.
- [Child On Radio]
It's happening.
- f*ck was that?
[beeping]
[static]
- [Boggs] Bert?
- Yeah?
[static]
- [Boggs] Can you guys
hear me? [beeping]
- Yeah, I can hear you, Boggs.
What's up?
- [Boggs] There's
someone out here.
- [Robert] He's just
being a d*ck, dude.
[static]
- [Boggs] f*ck dude,
there's someone out here.
I don't know, something's up.
[static]
- What's your f*cking
problem, f*gg*t?
- [Boggs] Shut up, shut up.
- [Robert] What?
- [Boggs] I can't see Jen.
[static]
- Where is she?
How far are you?!
[static]
- [Lisa] He's just being stupid.
[static]
- [Boggs] I can't see...
Oh, my God, you guys.
Hurry up, man.
Hurry up.
Oh, my God, Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, you guys, hurry up!
Whoa!
- [Lisa] What's going on?
[beeping]
[screaming]
[Lisa] You guys?
Guys, what's goin' on?
[static]
[Child On Radio] It happened.
- [Robert] Who's that?
Try it again.
[static]
- [Child On Radio] It
happened again [laughing].
- [Lisa] You guys.
- Dude, turn it off.
Turn it off.
- [Lisa] That wasn't him.
- I know.
[static]
- Derek.
[static]
- [Lisa] Where are they?
[static]
Where are they?
- [Berty] Derek Boggman
pick up [static].
Derek!
[static]
Boggs!
Derek [static]!
Jennifer!
Hey, Boggs!
[static]
- I have no idea, dude.
- [Berty] Jennifer!
- [Lisa] Guys, I
don't like this.
- [Berty] Derek!
Boggs, where are you?
[static]
- [Robert] f*cking road sucks.
[static]
Dude, that's their car.
Where the hell are they?
- [Lisa] Oh, my God, who's that?
- What's going on?
These your friends?
- [Lisa] That's him.
- [Robert] Is there a problem?
- They're hurt real bad.
You should come over here.
- [Robert] Well, what happened?
- Just come over.
[glass breaking]
- What the...
- [Lisa] Oh, my God!
No!
- [Robert] Holy sh*t.
[screaming]
- [Lisa] Oh, my God.
- [Robert] The f*ck!
Oh, my God, dude!
[screaming]
- [Lisa] Robert, go!
[screaming]
[static]
[screaming]
[locks clanking]
Go!
- [Robert] Okay, Berty.
[engine revving]
[screaming]
[static]
[gurgling]
- [Robert] Lise, run!
[screaming]
- [Lisa] Oh, my God [screaming]!
[thudding]
[screaming]
[pounding]
[static]
[thudding]
[Robert] BOGGS!!
- [Robert] Boggs,
where are you?1
Boggs!
Boggs!
Where are you?
[yelling]
[static]
[thudding]
[thudding]
[pounding]
[mumbling]
[footsteps pattering]
- Oh, good job.
Okay, come to a stop.
Ready?
Gonna break now [squealing].
[grass rustling]
- [Man In Background]
Have you right here.
[yelling]
[grass rustling]
[grass rustling]
- [Child With Camera]
Hi, grasshopper.
[crickets chirping]
[static]
[thudding]
[groaning]
[crying]
[laughing]
[groaning]
Just kinda get it
across her hands here.
[groaning]
[gasping]
[labored breathing]
[blood spattering]
- Come on, Sky.
[child mumbling]
[grass rustling]
[crickets chirping]
[thudding]
[thudding]
[church bell ringing]
[wheel barrow creaking]
[splashing]
[birds cawing]
[mumbling in background]
[grass rustling]
- Good.
[groaning]
[coughing]
[gurgling]
[knife plunging]
[gurgling]
[knife pulled out]
[blood spattering, gurgling]
[soft instrumental music]
[quiet gurgling]
[opera music]
[static]
[static]
[mumbling in background]
- [Woman] Why would we
wanna talk about that?
Are you a Steeler's fan?
[mumbling]
So, um, how was Millie?
After begger's night.
- [Man] I told Suzie.
[footsteps pattering]
[mumbling]
- [Child] I'll be
like, like I take off.
[mumbling]
Did you see him flying that
kite? That was tremendous.
- [Woman] Okay, I
think there's nothing
that this town can't do.
- [Man] Hm, yeah.
[engine rumbling]
- Dear, Lord.
Thank you for
bringing us this food
and bringing us
all these blessings
that you have brought our way.
Thank you for bringing
us together at this time.
Bob came down and he
told us about his trip.
- [Woman] Oh, and you
should saw the moon.
Millie was in...
- [Strange] Plenty of cider.
- [Woman] Are the carolers
getting together this year?
- [Child With Camera]
Hello, Mrs. Conger.
- Hey, Hobart.
- If you are mad at people,
I won't see you.
- [Woman] I mean,
why wouldn't you?
That gives us...
- [Woman] Thinking... the
mind is thinking here.
You know, always thinking.
- [Stranger] Yeah.
- [Woman] It'll come
up with something.
- [Stranger] Another
surprise, right?
- [Woman] We'll have some
unique packaging, though.
Don't worry about
it, for God's sakes.
We're country folk.
- [Stranger] Oh, boy.
[laughing]
[mumbling]
[static]
[footsteps pattering]
- [Child With Camera] Rusty.
[footsteps pattering]
[dog barking]
[footsteps pattering]
Rusty.
[footsteps pattering]
[dog barking]
Rusty!
[footsteps pattering]
[dog barking]
Rusty!
[engine rumbling]
- I think so.
After Sadie's, we wanna
stop by the market.
- [Driver] What do you need?
- [Woman In Passenger Seat]
A few things for dinner.
- What are we having?
[thudding] Hobart?
- You had your choice.
The radio or that.
[footsteps pattering]
- Here we go [groaning].
You got it?
[footsteps pattering]
[hammering]
Hello.
- Hi.
- Here we go.
[hammering]
- Thank you.
- Oh, you're very welcome.
[hammering]
For you here.
[hammering]
[laughing]
- You're a real pip,
you know that, Hobe?
[sniffing]
[laughing]
A real pip.
- [Man With Mustache] Oh,
you be careful out there.
- [Man In Hat] Oh, I know.
- [Man With Mustache]
It's getting icy.
- [Man In Hat] Yeah, yeah.
- [Cameraman] That's
the story, right?
All right.
I'll go do that right...
- You ready to go, son?
[hammering]
[static]
[snow crunching]
[pigs grunting]
[pigs squealing]
[splashing]
[pigs grunting]
[instrumental opera music]
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