01x06 - Isanti

[bunniefuu]

["Corillo" playing]

[Santi singing "Corillo"]

No se preocupen

Que me fui pal calentón ♪

Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪

[Ness laughing]

Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪

Vamos a bailar esta vida

Como un reggaetón ♪

This is for you guys. My corillo.

Can't believe you wrote a song about us.

It's seriously the nicest thing

anyone's ever done for me.

Esta canción es bacanísima, cabrón.

Seriously. I love you, bro!

I love you too, bro.

[in Spanish] Turn off that tiki tiki.

- [in English] I'm sorry about that

- Wait, wait, wait.

[in Spanish] My apologies, ma'am.

[in English] We're just

celebrating my new song.

You? Is you playing

singing in that tiki tiki?

Yeah.

Wait, wait. Have you ever danced

with a real life reggaetonero before?

One that has future number one

on his hands?

[laughs] Let me tell you,

I played a flamenco dancer

in three episodes of Miami Vice.

[in Spanish] Dance with me. Come on!

[cheering]

[all singing]

Hasta abajo, hasta abajo ♪

Hasta abajo, hasta abajo ♪

Hasta abajo, hasta abajo ♪

[music playing over speakers]

[music stops]

[Oscar] It really is amazing, Santi.

So, look, I could give you

the whole dog and pony show

or I could get right to it.

Ness always says that we should, you know,

slow down and weigh

our decisions properly.

- So, tell us about the dog and pony.

- [Ness chuckles]

No, it's a Don't worry.

Look, we love the whole team, Santi.

You're so talented.

Felix, the creative director, my man.

You, whoever you are.

We want to sign you guys to a record deal.

Well

[both chuckle]

Um, we would like to take things slow

and weigh our decisions properly.

- So that is a very kind offer.

- It's very kind.

And we will definitely consider that.

[whispering] I'm about to cry.

Keep it together, bro.

Um, but we do have a benefactor

that we'll have to discuss this with.

Tell them their services

are no longer needed,

and that you are fully handled by BPM now.

[chuckling] Right, right. Yeah,

that's gonna go very smoothly.

[Oscar] Now that you're in the fold,

we would like to introduce you

to other members of the BPM family.

You, uh, know, Isa, of course.

[laughs] Yeah, that's like asking us

if we know who Beyoncé is.

[all laughing]

And, um, we are so sorry

about taking her studio time.

Yeah. [hesitating] Is she mad?

She's not gonna, like,

kneecap us, right? [laughs]

No, no, she's not mad at all.

And her previous kneecapping incident

was a total misunderstanding.

She thought Gwyneth was somebody else.

Okay, why are we talking

about the biggest pop star in the world?

She wants to connect with you.

Connect She wants

to make a song together?

Nah, more like

she wants to have dinner with you.

Wait. Uh, so, you're saying, like,

the hottest woman in the world

wants to have dinner with Santi?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

Okay, don't act so surprised.

Well, as you know, she's, uh

She's been through a lot.

First her divorce

from the Real Madrid player,

then the break-up with the oil magnate,

being wait-listed by Pete Davidson.

She, she just

Isa just wants to meet a nice guy.

I'm nice. I am so nice.

Please don't tell her that.

She'll hate that.

Okay, cool. Um, that's very exciting.

Can we circle back though

to the music portion of the offer?

Take care of Isa and we'll make sure

that Santi's debut is a hit.

- Well, he'll take care of her, all right.

- [Santi chuckles]

Okay, that sounds

like he's gonna k*ll her.

- No, I'm not gonna k*ll her.

- He's definitely not gonna k*ll her.

Please stop talking about

k*lling the biggest pop star in the world.

["Move Your Booty" playing]

- Yo, we manifested this sh*t.

- We're gonna make so much money.

- [chuckling]

- Yo, a deal with BPM and a date with Isa.

Who's gonna play me in this biopic?

Uh, Jason Momoa.

Yes.

[Felix] What do you think

the biopic's gonna be about?

- sh*t.

- I like What?

Uh, hey, Mia, what's up?

Sorry, I really wasn't trying

to be here, uh, for this.

I don't get it. Why did you lie to us?

Well, it worked. [chuckles]

Uh, that does not matter.

I'm so sorry, Santi.

Oh, I'm sure you are. Yeah.

Come on, guys, we gotta go.

Congrats on signing!

The song sounds so good. [chuckles]

I'm really happy for you guys.

[Felix] I'm happy for you, too.

Uh

[quietly] f*cking idiot.

- [cell phone dings]

- [music playing]

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t, it's Gina.

I think she's really f*cking pissed.

Oh, how can you tell?

Well, she said,

"Vanessa, I'm really f*cking pissed."

"Why am I hearing from other people

that you're meeting with BPM?"

sh*t. Um, do you think she's gonna, like,

do something about it?

God, I hope so.

What are you gonna do?

Do the healthy, adult thing

and ignore it until it goes away.

Okay, ignore a drug lord. That's chill.

Okay, so does this look good?

A blazer with no shirt?

Ness, I don't know what to do.

This is all just so weird.

Why are you so nervous?

You've been on a thousand dates.

Yeah, I know, but not with someone

who's hosted the Kids' Choice Awards.

So you think it's, like, more cleavage,

or just, like, the whole

- Okay, yeah. We can pivot.

- [Ness snaps fingers]

Okay. Game plan.

What are you gonna talk about?

- Something smart. Prescient.

- [Ness] No.

No, no. You are not

trying out new words tonight. Okay?

Uh, ask about her family.

- Family? Yeah. I have a family.

- [Ness] Yeah.

Oh, uh, you know what?

Let's avoid family stuff.

I'm on her Wiki right now

and her "Early Life" section is dark.

- Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Yeah, no.

- Yeah.

All right, guys, I gotta go.

How do I look?

- You look great.

- Great.

Great? I don't want to be great.

I want to be coquettish.

Where are you getting these words?

["La Luz (Fín)" playing]

- Hi. It's so nice to meet you. I

- Sorry, so rude.

No problem.

Um

I just It's such an honor.

I grew up, you know,

really watching your stuff and

That's so sweet.

Look, we don't have to talk.

[cell phone chiming]

Right. Got it. Um

Kiss me.

[coughs]

What? [laughs]

Kiss me right now.

sh*t. Okay.

[Santi] Mmm.

[camera shutters clicking]

Okay, that's enough.

[camera shutters clicking]

Oh, sh*t! Paparazzi. Should we bounce?

- sh*t

- I don't have much time

'cause I'm gonna have

a v-steam pretty soon,

but I wanna enter a mutually beneficial

yet completely

artificial relationship with you.

A PR relationship.

I wanna fake-date you, bro.

Are you serious?

Oh, yeah, I don't do comedy.

It's not good for my face.

Look, it's really a no-brainer for you.

Your profile blows up.

And all you have to do is come with me

to parties and industry events

and royal funerals, stuff like that.

Okay, I I'm so sorry.

But, like, why do you choose me

out of everyone

because you could sort of have anyone

that you want, right?

[laughs] Yeah. Well, according to my team,

I need to tap into my Latina identity.

Or is it Latino?

Or is it Latiné? Latinx?

I really don't know

what we're supposed to say anymore.

- [laughs]

- Anyway, I'm making Spanish music now

and I need a reggaetonero

to bridge the gap.

And you have the right look

and you're up-and-coming

and we look good together.

Okay. So you're, like, using me?

For, like, cultural appropriation?

Oh, my God, no. How could you say that?

I'm Latina. I can't use my own people.

Right. Um, so then what do

What do I get out of this whole thing?

Well, what do you want?

I just want to be proud of myself.

Ew, shut the f*ck up.

What do you really want?

I mean, if I'm being honest, I just

I want to be like

Like one of the greats, like

Like Daddy Yankee. Or

Cute, why don't you come with me

to his party next week?

Everyone's gonna be there.

f*ck, yes. Yes.

f*ck the "proud of myself" stuff.

That's exactly what I want.

- Um, can I bring my friends?

- [cell phone chimes]

Like your staff? Sure, I guess

we could talk to someone and

So, are we, um

- doing this or what? Are we dating?

- [laughs]

- Yes

- [both laugh]

Great. I'll have someone pick you up

at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

So nice to meet you.

Wait, where are we going?

["Bizcochito" playing]

[Santi] We wanted exposure. And Isa's it.

She's gonna get us

to Daddy Yankee's party next week. So?

- Okay, yeah, this is pretty f*cking cool.

- Yes!

Yeah, this is

pretty f*cking cool, Ness-ter.

[laughing]

Okay. Wait, wait. Hold on.

I just got an email from BPM

saying that Isa wants Felix to direct

her new documentary,

From Hialeah to Hollywood.

- What? Oh, oh, oh!

- What?

- Yes! Let's go!

- [cheering]

Yes! It's happening!

Okay, wait! Hold on.

Apparently Oscar asked for you personally.

[laughing] And, um, he says you're

"insightful beyond your years."

[Felix sighs]

How the f*ck does this guy

even know who you are?

- Oh, my God.

- Uh, we have a bond.

Please Please send him a

A written thank you,

- flowers, an Aesop gift kit

- You see? Everyone is winning. Everyone.

- Congrats, brother.

- Thanks, brother.

[Santi groans]

What did I say? [laughs]

- Okay.

- What'd he say?

[Santi] Gracias.

[Ness] This is easily

the coolest thing I've ever done.

But, um, we should be cautious

because this does feel weird.

This feels, like, super easy.

Like, too easy.

No, things are just easy

if you're rich and successful, Ness.

That's, like, the whole thing

about being rich and successful.

Or are we suddenly too good

for capitalism?

You hate capitalism.

Not anymore. I'm rich now.

Are we doing this or what?

Hell yeah.

Let's go to your private island.

Yeah, no. No, it's not a private island.

It's a rainforest studio.

Everyone has a private island.

Thus, all the music sounds alike.

No one has a jungle.

It opens you up in ways

that you've never imagined, bro.

So, you're saying that, like,

you want to make a song together or

Yeah, bro. It's my arrival to reggaeton.

I want you in on it.

Absolutely. Absolutely. [laughs]

Great. Let's get to work.

I haven't had a song not go number one

since before the Bush Administration.

The first one.

- How old is she supposed to be?

- I have no idea.

[Santi] Wait, what is

the Bush Administration?

Thank you so much for the opportunity

to direct From Hialeah to Hollywood.

California.

- I'm sorry?

- The name of the documentary

is called

From Hialeah to Hollywood, California.

'Cause there's a Hollywood, Florida,

and I don't want people to get confused.

- Okay, I I'm sorry.

- [Santi] Found it!

- [sighs] Yeah.

- ["Desmiado Hot" playing]

[Santi] Hey, hey!

It's dope, right?

Yeah, it's, like, so dope.

But we're thinking bigger, you know?

We're flying in an it-boy producer

to produce some really buzzy tracks

and we even secured Villano Antillano

to rap a verse.

What?

Oh. [laughs]

We're gonna make bank off this song!

Oh, a hundred percent.

I never miss. Which reminds me

You're cool to go halfsies

on this jet, right?

Halfsies? Yeah. Yeah.

We could go halfsies.

I mean, this song is gonna be next level.

So we gotta spend money to make money.

You and me, we are so next level.

I've never been so sure of anything

What's my line?

I've never been so sure

of anything in my life. So close.

[Isa] "I've never been so sure"

Can we do it again?

Yeah. Let's just go from the top. Reset.

Wait, actually, you think maybe

we should, like, you know, kiss more?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Yes.

Let's do that. I like that.

Let's start with a kiss.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Action.

Okay.

What the f*ck?

What the f*ck? [gagging]

Is someone eating salmon?

[gagging]

It was on the platter.

I've had mercury poisoning,

like, six times, bro.

I specifically [gags]

said no one is allowed to eat salmon.

- Oh, my God.

- [Isa retching]

[Santi] Ness, why did you bring salmon?

Isa looks really f*cking sick right now!

I didn't bring salmon! It was here.

- Are you okay?

- [Ness] Okay, it's fine!

- Jesus, girl, f*ck!

- I won't

[Isa retching]

[Ness] Okay, I'm, uh

Why are you putting your seatbelt?

- [Isa retching]

- [screaming]

What do I do? What do I do! What do I do!

- Eat all the salmon!

- [Ness] No!

Eat the salmon!

- [retching]

- [Felix] Oh, my God!

[both screaming]

["Tonteria" playing]

[singing] Dejemos la tontería ♪

La tontería si tu sabes que eso es mío ♪

Pa' to'a la vida ♪

- [clears throat]

- [music stops]

- Elena!

- I'm here. I'm here.

Okay, you're doing great.

Okay? Let's do this again.

Just like you've rehearsed.

Okay? Look at me.

[trilling] Look at me.

- [singing] Rumbiemos separados ♪

- [Isa mouthing]

Luego amanecemos juntos ♪

[singing] Rumbiemos separados ♪

[in English] That was great.

You're amazing.

Let's try it again

and take it back a few notches.

- [Isa] Mmm-hmm.

- Mmm-hmm. Try it.

Can we just do it one syllable at a time?

Like that time I met the toymaker

with the little glasses?

That was Guillermo del Toro.

You know, maybe it's the space

that's messing with you. Right?

I mean, aren't recording studios

normally soundproof? So

No, bro. Because it's about the jungle.

You get the texture of the leaves.

Yeah, let's just

Let's go again. You got this.

- [Isa sighs]

- [music resumes]

Yeah. No, no, just no.

[Santi] What's wrong?

I don't know, bro, I'm literally

not feeling it. I'm over all of it.

Even with the purring sh*t,

because I'm really good at that.

The beat feels like beat.

And not in a good way.

Villana, what do you think?

I think any beat

you can shake your a*s to is a good beat.

[in Spanish] You have to put some flow,

flavor and high art to sell it to people.

[in English] Meterle flow.

And there definitely will be plenty

of that in From Hialeah to Hollywood.

- California.

- [Felix] Right.

Uh, I definitely will get that. I promise.

Isa, um, I think we just gotta

make a decision here, right?

Like, that beat was fine.

All of the beats have been pretty fine,

like all 15 that you've rejected.

What are you getting at here?

I just think maybe the problem is that

you don't like to sing in Spanish.

Or more specifically, reggaeton.

How dare you try and strip me

of my culture, salmon girl?

- Oh, damn!

- [cell phone dings]

Oh, sh*t. This is bad. How the f*ck

did she find out that Santi met with Isa?

Okay, let's just

Let's record something new.

I've got plenty of other beats.

Is that cool with everyone?

I'm getting paid by the hour to be here,

so it's your call.

I'm paying you by the hour to be here

and to tell people that we're friends.

- [Villana] Right.

- Which he and I are splitting.

Great. All right, let's record.

Let's record.

[Isa] Can we add some moans this time?

Because it's kind of my bread and butter.

["Tonteria" resumes]

[moaning]

- You like that?

- [Villana] Mmm.

I just don't want us

to lose sight of the bigger picture.

Absolutely.

One hundred percent.

Look, I don't wanna be the annoying one

telling us

that we shouldn't be having fun.

[Felix] Oh, perfect. Then don't.

Dig a little deeper, my friend

But we moved to Miami

to grow Santi's career as a reggaetonero,

to make him the next Tego Calderón.

The next Bad Bunny.

Not the next f*cking Latino Adam Levine.

I like Adam Levine.

Oh, my God. These hands.

Listen, I feel you and I hear you,

but this is such a huge break for us.

I mean, all I gotta do is keep Isa happy

and then we can leverage this.

I promise you, okay?

I just don't want you

getting lost in the sauce.

The only sauce I'm getting lost in

is this one right here, baby.

Wait, what's the sauce? I can't see.

Can I have some sauce, sir?

Well [chuckles]what's the great news?

Well, I'm directing Isa's documentary

From Hialeah to Hollywood

[Mia] Shut up!

California.

Congrats I'm so happy for you, man.

- Yeah. Thanks. Well, the payday is

- [chuckles]

It's It's huge. [laughs]

It's just, like, massive. Honestly.

Don't forget about me

when you get all big, okay?

How are you, though?

Cool, I'm cool.

Um, you know, I really needed this break.

I binged Game of Thrones,

so now you don't have to

keep making fun of me about it.

All eight seasons of Game of Thrones?

Wasn't your last day, like,

three days ago?

Uh

It's very bingeable.

[Villana] Hey, there you are.

Oh, hi, Villana! I'm just, uh,

chopping it up with the Mia. Say hi.

Oh, hi! Encantada.

You better put some respect on her name.

That's the next queen of reggaeton

you talking to.

- My apologies.

- Ay, que bella, gracias.

Um, is this your girlfriend?

Who, Mia? No. [laughing]

No, we're We're just friends.

I love friends.

Um, so, Mia, would you mind

if I borrow your friend,

so he can help me turn on the hot tub?

I have no idea how it works.

Sure, yeah. I mean,

I'm I'm available to be borrowed.

Okay, bye, Mia! Uh, f*ck BPM!

You're awesome. Biggest hustler I know.

Just Mia that sh*t!

[call ends]

- [camera shutter clicking]

- Yes.

Okay, these look amazing.

Thank you. My followers are used to

a certain standard of content.

[camera shutter clicking]

Let's see.

That's really nice, obviously.

All right, so you wanna get back

to the music now?

Uh, I'm not feeling it.

It's nothing personal,

but I can't do it if I don't feel it.

I told Elton John the same thing when we

did the duet for the Minions soundtrack.

So don't take it personally.

Isa, I just don't get what you want here.

Like, is this really

what you wanna do? Or

I feel like you think I'm a villain,

and not in a trendy way.

[Santi] No, I don't, I just

Maybe this is not the music

that you wanna do.

Because you don't know me like that.

Okay, but I wanna get to know you, though.

My real name

is Isabela María de la Caridad Díaz.

And I was born in Cuba.

And I came here as a child

on the Mariel boatlift.

Wow. I didn't know that. That's crazy.

It all worked out, because I got scouted

for The Mickey Mouse Club

and it changed my life

and my teeth forever.

We all got braces and veneers.

Look, you see they're perfect?

- Yeah

- But it was still hard.

I had to shave my arms

for sleeveless costumes,

and my foot was in the door.

I'm sorry, that's That's f*cked up.

So, yeah, I was whitewashed.

The industry whitewashed me.

I had to push away my identity as a Latino

because being Latino

wasn't a badge of honor,

but I did what I had to do to succeed.

That's why I really wanna

get it right this time.

That's why I care so much.

But people are so quick

to rip me to shreds, bro.

Listen, I totally understand what you mean

by, you know, wanting to get it right.

You know, actually, my new song is

probably like my most vulnerable one yet

and it's about my best friends.

My corillo.

I'm really envious of that.

And I'm not envious often, obviously.

- [laughs] Obviously.

- Yeah!

Um

Do you wanna hear it?

["Corillo" playing]

No se preocupen

Que me fui pal calentón ♪

Con el corillo siempre la paso cabrón ♪

Soy millonario sin tener un millón ♪

[music stops]

You hate it.

What does "me fui pal

calentón con el corillo" mean to you?

- Calentón is slang.

- Mmm.

It means the heart, the streets,

and the culture of Puerto Rico.

It means just, like, really going back

to what really matters. You know?

And my best friends, they're my corillo.

I really love that. Yeah.

It's inspired me for our track

to go deeper and get to the real Isa.

Are you looking at my breasts right now?

I'm sorry.

- It's up here, bro. Up here.

- No.

"Isa brings new boy toy Santi

and friend on PJ."

I'm "friend."

[sarcastically] Yay.

[mechanical whirring]

What the f*ck is that?

I don't know.

- Oh, no. It's Gina.

- [Ness] Oh, my God.

You didn't respond to any of her messages

and now she's come for blood.

Um, we can just see if

Gina! Hey! [laughs]

What are you doing here?

How the hell did you find us, loca?

Did you have me chipped or something?

Why the hell have you been ignoring me?

What? No. What No. Oh, my God.

Service here. Crazy weird.

It's very weird.

It's like, what even is roaming?

- You didn't answer the chip question.

- Cut the crap, Vanessa.

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you run this Isa sh*t by me?

I assumed you'd be thrilled.

I mean, Santi thinks

he's gonna blow up after this,

but I wanted a banger proof of concept

before, um

Before, uh, bringing it to you.

Santi doesn't need a gimmick to blow up.

He's good,

he's genuinely once-in-a-lifetime good.

That's why Isa latched onto him.

I invested in you guys

because I love reggaeton

and I wanted Santi to blow up

without all this gimmicky bullshit.

I know, but look, this is a minor blip.

He has this amazing new song.

It's called "Corillo,"

and it's about to define him as an artist.

And I know no one's gonna care

about the Isa stuff once they hear it.

Honestly, I'm worried. This whole

Isa concept, it feels dishonest.

And that's coming

from an importer/exporter.

You need to start thinking about yourself.

You need to meet

with potential new clients.

With all due respect,

I think you're wrong.

And I think that

I can get Santi to course-correct

because he's gonna listen to me.

He values our friendship

above everything else.

And [in Spanish] We are forever.

[in English] That means everything to us.

That's beautiful.

But if Santi wants to be a boy toy

instead of an artist,

this is where I stop funding him.

That means you owe me 400k.

[Ness] Wait, Gina! Gina, wait, just I

[groans]

Can we at least keep the Porsche?

[exhales]

sh*t. sh*t.

Guys, guys, guys.

I didn't think it was gonna happen

before we left the jungle,

but we f*cking did it.

Me and Isa got the breakthrough

and we got our song!

- Oh, thank God! That's exciting!

- Oh! Wow.

[Santi] Yes!

- Congrats. When can we hear it?

- [exhales]

Kind of already have.

Is it playing very softly right now?

No, it's "Corillo," but Isa wants to

record it as like a love song with me.

Okay, so it's not "Corillo"?

No, it's still "Corillo"

but it's just It's about us now.

It is about us, though.

No, like us. Like me and Isa.

Okay, but how does that work?

Because corillo means crew,

and that doesn't really work

as a love song.

No, so we switched friendship for love

and then Isa puts some super sexy,

like, breath work in there

and I'm telling you guys,

it is so f*cking fire.

Right, so you switched out our friendship

for fake love. Got it.

I

Guess I'll, uh, see you on the plane, man.

[Isa] Oh, my God, Santi!

There's a really weird bug up here!

I don't even know what it is.

I think it's a dinosaur, bro.

["Tonteria" playing]