01x03 - Short Circuit

[bunniefuu]

Nebula-75 is filmed
in Superisolation

in a small apartment during lockdown.

Pre-existing resources
and a practically

non existent budget
have been employed.

The episode that you are about

to view features
approximately 47.935%

more screen time for the
robot known as Circuit.

If you are a fan of
my performances

then this will equate
to a far superior

viewing experience.
If you are not:

tough!

♫ Nebula-75 theme ♫

And as we continue our journey

it becomes ever more
clear that the furthest

corners of the cosmos
are home to varieties

of life as great and different
as you might expect

to find in the darkest depths of
the oceans of Earth.

While it remains our hope to
return home before out fuel exhausts

we realise that may
never be possible.

Therefore, we will seek to report our
discoveries until we are no longer

able to do so.

As of today we are two months

since our last new encounter,

and since then our days have been routine,
with once again nothing to report.

This is Ray Neptune signing off on the
8th of April in the space year 2120.

Over and out.

Oh blast! It's the ninth,
not the eighth!

Gee, you really lose track of things when
you're stuck inside doing the same things

day after day.

Oh well.
April the eighth or April the ninth:

guess that'll be one for the
historians to work out.

This is Neptune calling
Lieutenant Mercury.

Do you read me?

Receiving you five-by-five.

How's it going, Lieutenant?

All quiet here.
Everything routine.

I'm glad to hear it. Anyway, for now I guess
we'd all better get some sleep.

It's probably bedtime.

Circuit can look after things and will let
us know if there's any change.

Goodnight Lieutenant.

Testing. Testing.

This is robot 86-12-20.

Designation: Circuit.

It is April 10th 2120.

I am on board the Nebula-75.

If anyone receives this:

this is my story.

Hey Circuit, there's an
asteroid belt coming up.

Input this course correction:
4974-18 hydromic.

Yes, sir. 4974-18 protonic.

Correct course! Hydromic,
not protonic!

Hydronic.

Why, you useless heap of wires!
They ought to have you scrapped!

Your tea Commander Neptune.

Great. I'll need that to get me
through these calculations.

Just pop it down
there next to me.

Yowza! I said next
to me, not on me!

Right, put it down there and get out
of here before you cause any more havoc!

Ah! There you are Circuit. Gutes timing!
Ich brauche hilfe.

Now, please hold these wires, bitte.

Now, on no account must the
wires touch. Verstanden?

Understood.

Circuit, you dumbkopf!

I said don't touch them! I
should have you turned into scrap!

Well, Doc.?

As I thought: the main
valve has blown. Hmmm.

These old valves were never very reliable,
hence his somewhat erratic behaviour.

If we were nearer to home I would ask for
a replacement to be sent out.

I don't think I'd
want a new one, Doc.

I guess I've grown
accustomed to his face.

A new one might be
the only option, Ray.

Well, how do you mean? Surely you just
replace the faulty component?

If I had one, I would.

But he was already an old robot
when we left the Earth.

They didn't have any
spare valves to give us.

So we can't repair him?

I'm afraid not.

He has come to the end of his life.

Well that can't be doctor.
We have to find a solution!

There is no solution.
I'm sorry.

Ah gee, I feel bad now about
scoulding him the other day when he, er,

scoulded me.

Maybe one day we can
get him working again?

Gee, I sure hope so.

Circuit! Circuit! Come in Cir...

Lieutenant Mercury.

What's happening?

There's a spaceship, sir.
She's approaching us rapidly!

A spaceship?

I know sir! It's hard to
believe, but it's true!

These days I'll believe anything.

Try to make contact.
I'm returning to my post.

Okay, seven-five.

This is Commander Neptune of
the space rocket Nebula-75.

Do you read me?
Come in, please.

Cor blimey, guv'nor! Never thought
I'd see anyone out this way!

Well, neither did I, to be totally honest.
Who are you?

Name's Rusty, guv'nor.
Scrap iron merchant.

Well, I mean I was. To tell you truth I've
been thinking about giving it up as...

well, business is a bit
thin these days.

'Ere! That's a nice looking
spaceship you've got there.

I'll do you a deal:
tenner the lot! What d'ya say?

Er, tenner?

Can't say fairer than
that now, can I guv'nor?

Tell you what: why don't you come over
to my place and we'll talk turkey.

♫ Any old iron? Any old iron?
For money, money, money. ♫

♫ And here's the chap who'll
buy their scrap: old iron, for money. ♫

♫ Here's the chap who'll that scrap,
old iron, for money. ♫

Evening, gentlemen.

Cor! That's a clever airlock
system you've got there! Yeah!

Anyway, welcome to me ship.

Not much, I know. Not like your spaceship.
But, well, you know, it's home to me.

How come you're here in the
deepest depths of the cosmos?

To be totally truthful, guv'nor,

don't rightly know!

Me navigation system is
on the blink, you see.

Much like the rest
of the ship, really.

But, as I say, well,
it's home to me.

Anyway, what about
you two gentlemen?

Well, as I said, I'm Commander Neptune and
this is my colleague, Doctor Asteroid.

We're exploring
this part of space.

So I'm thinking you're not
interested in selling then? Ah!

Pity. But, well, understandable.
Man's got to make his living, I suppose.

Now, can I get you
two a drop of something?

That would be lovely.

Well, I'm afraid we can't.
We're on duty.

Totally understandable.
Well, how about...

You've got a problem guv'nor!

You've got a problem! You've got a problem
guv'nor! You've got a problem!

What was that?

Ah, it's me alarm. It's
always going off.

Why?

Oh, er, some problem or
other with me, er...

what is it? Neutron engines? Yeah.

Well, can't you fix it?

Sadly not, guv'nor.

I need new parts to fix
that, and, well sadly

people are only willing
to throw out old stuff.

Say, maybe Doctor Asteroid could help you?
We might have the parts to fix it.

That'd be uncommonly decent of you, guv'nor.
Uncommonly decent!

Okay. I shall enter und ascertain
which parts need replacing.

Oh, erm, I know which
part needs replacing.

It's the erm, er, the er,
the lac... no...

lack, no, luck, lack,
lack, lacko, lacklus...

no, er, lack, Laconium crystal.

Yeah, that's it!
The Laconium crystal.

Ah, we have one of those! Easy!

Oh! Can't tell you, guv'nor!
That's such a relief!

Ours is cracked, you see.

Cracked?

Yeah. 'Appened earlier.

Then the situation is serious!

Nobody could survive more than 30 seconds
exposure to the untold amount

of Laconium energy the
crystal is releasing!

What? We'll have to get out of
here before the whole place blows!

What?

Well, it looks like you
found us just in time!

You're going to have to come aboard
our ship and leave your vessel behind.

I can't do that, guv'nor!

I mean, it's home to me!

Well, you've got to!
It's your only chance!

The place could go sky high any minute!
We'll be blasted to pieces!

Nah. Sorry.

Englishman's home is his castle. Captain
goes down with the ship, and all that.

If only Circuit were okay.

He could go in and
replace the comonent.

What's up with him, then?

He needs a replacement
V-37 valve

but it's an old bit of equipment
that we simply don't have.

Woah! Why didn't you say?

I can't move for old valves!
I'll gladly let you have some.

Fantastic! Let's get moving.

Just one problem, squire.

What's that?

They're in the engine
room with the crystal.

Of course they are!

Tell me, how accessible are they?

Oh, right by the door.

You could nip in and out in,
well, two shakes of a lamb's tail.

Well, I've got 30 seconds!

No! It's too dangerous!

What choice do we have?

Besides, Circuit would
do the same for us.

I'm going in!

Oooo. Brave lad, that.

The bravest!

Ray! Are you alright?

Don't worry about me, Doc.

Just get this to Circuit.

And hurry.

Circuit! You're back!

How can I help?

We have an urgent
mission for you!

Only you can save us!

We're in Circuit's hands now.

How is looking in
there, Circuit?

Situation critical.

One minute to contain breach.

One minute? We'll never
make it in time!

We've got to get out of here!

Circuit? What's the
situation, Circuit?

10, 9, 8,

7, 6, 5,

4, 3, 2,

Disaster...

...averted!

He's done it!

I can't be thanking
you all enough.

You 'aven't just saved my life
- you've saved my 'ome.

And you know, an
Englishman's home...

...home is his castle!

Oh.

You know then?

Well, anyway. Don't thank us:

thank Circuit. He's the
hero of the day.

Oh, most obliged, I must say.

Tell you what, though
- it's a nice but of tin on him.

I'll give you 50 quid, all in.
What do you say?

No, sir.

Especially after today.

Circuit is the most important
member of our crew!

♫ Here's the chap who'll buy that
scrap old iron, for money! ♫

(keep watching...)

♫ Robot Man ♫
by Barry Gray (1963)

I'm in love with a robot man

A very special robot man

I switch him on
each night and day

It's such a thrill to
hear him say:

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

This guy's got everything

He never gets tired or upset

He'll never go cold;
he'll never grow old

And wow, when he kisses me

I take off like a jet!

And if I take this guy to church

He'll never leave
me in the lurch

The perfect lover I adore

To say to me forevermore:

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

- Robot.
- Baby, I love you

That was my story.

I hope you enjoyed.

Thank you for listening.

Goodbye.