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01x02 - Part 2

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Warnie". Aired: 25 June – 26 June 2023.*
Watch/Buy Amazon



Series depicted the career and personal challenges of the late cricketer.

01x02 - Part 2

Post by bunniefuu »

(GENTLE GUITAR STRUMMING)

- Hey, what about that blond kid?

- MAN: What, the chubby kid?

- He can spin a ball.

- (CHEERING)

I got us a slab of beer,

a nice bottle of red.

I don't think so, Shane. I'm gonna pass.

- Do you think I'm good enough?

- No, I don't.

But you could be.

I'm in the team. I'm

playing for Australia!

(CHEERING)

COMMENTATOR: What a

start for Shane Warne.

(CAMERAS CLICK, CROWD CLAMOURS)

(GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES)

I love you, Simone.

(TYRES SCREECH)

Women everywhere.

Groupies.

Shane wouldn't do that.

(CAMERAS CLICK, CROWD CLAMOURS)

(CHEERING)

(GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES)

No more bets.

- For you.

- That's $5,000.

MAN: And with the hard work over,

it's now time for the boys to party.

COMMENTATOR: And Warne writhing

around on the ground in agony.

It's whether Shane Warne can

recover from shoulder surgery

and resume his brilliant career.

SHANE: I'm having a bit of a

rough time at the moment, Mum.

You look puffy in the face.

Are you overweight? Take a pill.

- I failed the drug test.

- What are you talking about?

It's it's the end of my career.

My baby does the hanky-panky ♪

Yeah, my baby does the hanky-panky ♪

My baby does the hanky-panky ♪

My baby does the hanky-panky ♪

My baby does the hanky-panky ♪

SHANE VOICEOVER: I can't believe this.

It's gotta be a dream.

Liz Hurley.

Oh, it's quite real. Trust me.

(FIRE ALARM WHOOPS)

- You're kidding!

- What a hideous noise.

Just don't listen.

It's a false alarm.

It happens all the time.

Being burnt to a crisp

would not be ideal.

('IT JUST WON'T DO' BY TIM DELUXE

FEATURING SAM OBERNIK PLAYS)

(FIRE ALARM WHOOPS)

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Oh, I forgot my things!

Well, at least you got both shoes.

VOICEOVER: Well, you

would, wouldn't you?

(CAMERA CLICKS)

You think maybe someone paid

for those fire alarms to go off?

Hang on, hang on,

stop, stop. You people!

It's all you wanna know

about: the sex and the scandal.

I mean, seriously.

Can we just talk about cricket, please?

Without you ♪

Shane Warne will arrive

home in a few hours

and begin trying to clear his

name of the smear of drug cheat.

(CAMERAS CLICK, CROWD CLAMOURS)

He faces a possible two-year ban,

which would almost

certainly end his career.

COMMENTATOR: The bombshell

was dropped without warning

with the Australians asleep

in their Johannesburg hotel.

Brooke, can you please turn that off?

(TELEVISION MURMURS)

Jackson? Jackson, buddy.

What are you doing?

Jackson, move away from there, please.

Come over here. Come

here. Come on, buddy.

- (CHILD GURGLES)

- Look who's here!

Look who's here, it's Dadda! Go say hi!

cricket, Shane Warne is expected

- Dadda!

- Hey, Jackson!

Can you please take her?

Oh, can I?

Can I take my fabulous girl, Summer?

Hey?

Summer, Summer, Summer, Summer!

Summer, Summer, Summer!

Hey! Hey, Jackson, Jackson?

Hey, Brookey? Brooke?

What's yellow and runs down a tree?

Monkey vomit. (MIMICS RETCHING)

- (DOORBELL RINGS)

- Shane? Shane?

Shane, your mum and dad are here.

Huh? Oh, you wanna go down? (YELLS)

(GARBLES)

- Yep. No, no, no, come here.

- Jack, come here. Give me a hug.

- Yeah!

- Yeah. Oh!

God Almighty, they're like

animals at the zoo out there!

Yeah, sorry.

Thank God you're home safe.

That's all that matters.

(CAMERAS CLICK, CROWD CLAMOURS)

MAN: Are you on drugs, Warnie?!

(CROWD CLAMOURS)

The substance they found is

supposedly a masking agent.

It means they can hide the steroids

so they don't show up in a test.

Shane wouldn't take steroids.

I wouldn't take any kind of drug.

He's always been anti-drug, always.

You did recover super fast.

Well, I did intensive rehab

with a world-class physio

I know, I'm just saying!

It's a fluid tablet. He

took it to look slimmer.

He was looking a bit flabby.

One tablet, though.

What's one tablet gonna do?

Well, it makes you go to the loo.

It's a mistake. You just explain.

Yeah, but if I say that, then

it looks like I'm blaming Mum,

and then I look like a dickhead.

Well, I think we're past that point.

I'm not having a go at

you, it's just kind of true:

and no-one is blaming Mum.

I don't understand, though,

why did you have diet pills?

- Are you dieting?

- I get high blood pressure.

I took one pill.

It's a misunderstanding.

That's all it is.

(YAWNS) Both girls finally off to sleep.

Jackson was asleep before

his head hit the pillow.

(SIGHS) It's been a big week, hey?

(SIGHS)

So, this this fluid tablet

I don't wanna talk about

it. I've spent all day

Well, I'm just why?

I don't understand, were you

that anxious about your weight?

I had a press conference.

Someone made a comment.

Then this dickhead was making

jokes on the radio and I just

What happened

Mum said something as well.

I don't know.

What happened to the man

who doesn't give a sh*t

about what any of them think?

Well, yeah, when I'm playing

in a match, I don't care,

but you know, away

from cricket, it's just

Sweetheart, I

(SIGHS)

You know that person I

am on the field, right?

- You know, I'm a hard-arse, arrogant.

- Mmm.

Well, sometimes I wish

I was him off the field.

Well, you give it a good go, hon.

(LAUGHS)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)

Do I?

I I don't wanna be like that to you.

- What?

- I'm serious.

I am different off the field, aren't I?

Hey. Of course you are!

Hey.

You're a big, soft, fat f*ck.

Thanks, Simone. I was trying

to have a serious conversation.

I am being serious.

You just need to quit cricket.

You'd be a much nicer person.

Now, come to bed, fatty.

Oh, OK! That's enough of that

comment, thank you very much.

- VOICEOVER: She was right, of course.

- (LAUGHS)

But you give up something when

you're the best in the world.

See how you go.

(CAMERAS CLICK)

Well, I can confirm that

the fluid tablet I took

was given to me by my mum.

Contrary to speculation,

taking it had nothing to do with

the treatment of my shoulder injury

or the masking of any banned substance.

He did reveal who gave

him the diuretic tablet.

NEWSREEL: Warne says it was

given to him by his mother

so he would look better for the cameras.

VOICEOVER: I had to face

a special tribunal hearing

at Cricket Board HQ, in front

of a judge and everything.

I know present in the room here

we have representatives

from Cricket Australia

and the Australian Sports

Anti-Doping Authority,

as well as a number of

legal representatives

of Mr Shane Keith Warne.

Kerry Packer sent me the

best legal team in Australia,

God bless him, but here's the thing.

This tribunal was

secret. No press allowed.

To this day, no-one knows

what was said in there.

I can tell you, they went after me.

You've said that you took

one tablet only in January.

Yes.

One tablet that you got from

your mother. That's correct?

That is correct.

But according to Sports

Drug Agency documentation,

traces of diuretic were detected

in your urine in mid-December.

In February, a sheet of

tablets was in your possession.

A whole sheet.

You took them with you all

the way to South Africa.

Well, they were just in my bag.

At least two tablets were

missing from that sheet.

Yeah, I'm not

I don't run a pharmacy,

I I play cricket.

VOICEOVER: Then they questioned

my mum like she was on trial:

like a criminal.

I will never, ever forgive that.

- Mrs Warne. Can I call you Brigitte?

- You can call me what you like.

You've made a statement that

you were the source of the drug.

I don't think I called it a drug.

Did you have a conversation

about the substance with your son?

Yes, I said, "Here, take this.

It'll get rid of your double chin."

Did it occur to you that it

may have been a banned substance

or that someone should check?

It wasn't banned in our

house. I had a ton of them.

NEWSREEL: News just in from Melbourne.

The Warne hearing has been adjourned

until 11:00 tomorrow morning.

What's the worst they can do?

Oh, ban me for two years.

That's the usual penalty,

according to the lawyers.

I mean, if they do that, I'm

finished. I just have to retire.

Well, surely the Cricket

Board don't want that.

- They need you in the team.

- Well, yeah.

I mean, their own doctor said that

there are exceptional circumstances

'cause they didn't find a single

trace of steroids in my system.

Yeah, but I thought that the thing

you took, it hides the steroids.

I didn't take any steroids, Simone!

OK, OK! I'm just saying.

Their logic isn't very logical.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

Two years.

I can't.

They'll just they'll

give me a warning.

A fine, you know.

Something like that.

(DRAWER CLOSES, BOTTLE OPENS)

Do you think that's

sometimes why you do stuff?

'Cause you can get away with it?

What do you mean?

No, I'm just curious.

Like, you never thought

to check if it was banned?

No.

The thought never entered my head.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just stupid.

But you're not, Shane, so

that's why I get confused.

You're really not stupid.

Well, I don't know the answer.

Or if I did, I'd Id get it fixed.

(STIRRING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

MAN: The committee found

the offensive proved

and imposed on player Shane Warne

a ban for the period of 12 months.

I am absolutely devastated. Very upset.

- I will appeal.

- (CAMERAS CLICK)

I feel I am the victim

of anti-doping hysteria.

I also wanna repeat

that I have never taken any

performance-enhancing drugs,

and I never will.

(JOURNALISTS CLAMOUR)

Shane Warne says he's

devastated by the decision

to ban him from all cricket for year.

If his appeal fails, he'll

miss five test series,

which surely would have seen him

become the highest test

wicket taker in history.

BRIGITTE: I'm sorry, love.

Don't even, it is

absolutely not your fault.

No, I'm sorry for YOU, love.

I can't even play local cricket.

They won't even let me bowl

to Jackson down the park!

It's a witch hunt, absolute.

I mean, tell Michael Jordan,

"You can't touch a

basketball for a year."

Tell Jimmy Barnes he can't sing.

- Well, he can't.

- You know what I mean.

He screams. He's got a set of lungs.

That's not the point!

Sorry.

I'm I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

BRIGITTE: It's alright. You're upset.

Come on, darling. Shall

we go play some LEGO?

(EXHALES)

You know, I made one

stupid mistake and I'm out.

COMMENTATOR: So, here's

Steve Waugh, strike now.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Hit down the fine leg. Will go for four.

- (INDISTINCT)

- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Stephen Waugh.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Passes Sir Donald Bradman's

(TELEVISION MURMURS)

VOICEOVER: If I wasn't playing cricket,

what was I supposed to do?

(LAUGHS)

Oh! (LAUGHS)

Heya! Ahh!

- Ohh!

- Hey, you wanna go somewhere?

Oh! (GRUNTS) Where?

Go to the movies, the

mountains, the moon.

- Oh!

- (LAUGHS)

I think I'll stay here.

Are you thinking you'll sulk

for the full 12 months, or ?

Just so I can plan ahead.

Oh, maybe not the full 12, but

probably the first six or seven.

Mmm.

You know what it's like when I go out.

"Hey, Warnie. How's your

mum? Warnie, got any pills?"

(GARBLES)

How can you watch?

Well, I can't, and then I can't not.

Steve Waugh's hit his century.

He's gonna win us the match.

(SIGHS) I should have been captain.

You know, instead I'm what am I?

Who am I?

- And a fire toy.

- Da Dad!

- Dad?

- Daddy!

- Well, there you go.

- (LAUGHS)

- The kids know.

- Daddy!

(ROARS) Jackson!

VOICEOVER: Oh, I know

what you're thinking:

why wasn't I captain, even before that?

Well, to be honest, I was being punished

for another incident back in 2000.

(DRUM RHYTHMS)

I was playing for

Hampshire in the off-season.

Simone and the kids came for a visit,

and this particular weekend,

I was away with the team.

Good boy.

Good boy! Here we go.

- There we go.

- (BABY GURGLES)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(BABY CRIES)

- (DOORBELL RINGS)

- (BABY SCREAMS)

(CROWD CLAMOURS, CAMERAS CLICK)

(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

(BREATHES SHAKILY)

(PHONE RINGS)

Hi.

SHANE: (PHONE) Heya.

So, look, there's a

story in today's paper.

Yeah, the President of Syria died.

Is that what you're talking about?

Oh, wait. There's this one as well.

Married cricketer Shane Warne

makes obscene phone calls.

Look, it's not how

it was. I can explain.

Just come home.

(BABY SCREAMS)

- Can you just give me the paper?!

- No! I just don't wanna

- Just give me the paper!

- Just don't talk to me right now!

I didn't touch her,

Simone! I promise you!

"Oh, Donna, where are you? I

could see the wine all over her."

Oh, that's bullshit,

because I never said

You gave her your room key!

No, I didn't. I didn't

give her my room key.

"Warne met 22-year-old

Donna Wright, a nurse,

in a nightclub in Leicester"!

I was out with the guys!

- She came, she said hello

- But you called her!

- I don't remember what I said

- You called her that week!

- She's 22, Shane!

- Can you stop reading it?!

Nothing happened with

her! Nothing happened!

Right, all of this is

made up, then? Seriously!

Yeah. Yes.

No, I mean, we we talked.

- We talked.

- You talked.

Yeah, but that was it.

It was just talking!

What did you talk about:

the game? Pitch? Weather?

Whether or not you could f*cking bat?!

No, no! You know what I mean.

"He left messages saying the most

perverted things I've ever heard."

f*ck, Shane.

(FEET PATTER)

- Mum, I wanna go out!

- So do I. I feel sick.

Um, darling, we can't go

outside. Do you know why?

'Cause there's some silly people,

but do you know what we can do?

We can watch 'Tugboat',

'cause it's on telly!

You wanna put 'Tugboat' on?

Go on! Go, go, go!

(STIRRING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

She was woken up by reporters

screaming from the front gate.

One of them threw a newspaper

at me, through the door!

That's crossing the

line. I'm going out there!

Shane, don't! Don't!

Just

Just tell me the truth.

Do you wanna go on a break?

Do you wanna see other people?

What?

No.

No. Simone, I

- Don't.

- Hey.

(STIRRING MUSIC CONTINUES)

I love you. I'm not

interested in anyone else.

- That

- I've told you.

- That can't be true!

- I've told you. They're lying!

- (PHONE RINGS)

- They're lies!

Do not don't treat me

like an idiot, Shane

Hello. This is Shane speaking.

Well oh, that's no!

I think there are two

sides to every story.

No, I don't think well

I don't know.

Hey, sweetheart.

Come on. Sleepy time.

Can you give me your hand?

I saw you before, yawning

your face off. Yes, I did.

Cheeky.

Cheeky monkey, cheeky monkey!

You gonna jump into bed for me?

- Ahh!

- Ahh!

Rainbow toad!

- Ahh!

- Come on, come on.

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no more sillies.

(LAUGHS)

(STIRRING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

- She OK?

- Yeah, yeah.

(SIGHS)

Look, um

vodka, Red Bull, lack of sleep

Shane.

I made a lot of excuses.

They're all bullshit.

I'm sorry.

I did the wrong thing.

Simone, I'm sorry.

(STIRRING MUSIC CONTINUES)

First tonight, the woman who may

have k*lled off Shane Warne's dream

of ever becoming

Australian cricket captain.

22-year-old nurse and

single mother Donna Wright

has accused the star

bowler of harassing her

with a series of sexually

explicit phone calls

after a chance meeting last

month in a Leicester nightclub.

Donna Wright agreed to this,

her first and only television interview.

Many people think the 'Daily Mirror'

paid you vast sums

of money to go public.

Mm-hm.

- Is that true?

- No.

A donation will be made

to the to my workplace.

The children's hospital?

Erm, the children's unit.

And you're not being

paid for this interview?

This interview, no.

I don't want paying. I just

want it all over and done with.

VOICEOVER: I thought it was all

over and done with, but it wasn't.

100%, yeah.

Nah, I hear that.

Yeah, great.

Great. Thanks.

(PHONE BUTTON BEEPS)

They want me to go on TV,

tell my side of the story.

You've got a side, do you?

Wh why do you have to say

anything? It's embarrassing enough!

Yeah, I know, I don't wanna

give it any more publicity.

So, don't do the interview!

I have to.

People, they want a public apology.

People. People like who?

I don't know. Everyone.

The executive producer, he

called me before and he said

A TV producer? Who care what

he thinks? It's not up to him!

Well, they broadcast the cricket,

so, it kind of is up to him a bit.

You know, plus she

went on the show, right?

She told her side of the story.

- I should do the same.

- It's no-one's business.

You you said that yourself!

I know.

Yeah, I know, and I agree with that,

but if I don't do it

people will get pissed off.

The fans and that.

You really think the

fans will give a sh*t?

Well, OK, but the Cricket

Board, you know, the sponsors.

Like I said before, TV network.

Right, so, you go and talk

about our marriage, our marriage,

so they can sell more stuff?

More sunglasses?

Kinda, yeah.

(EXHALES) Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I'm vice-captain of the Australian team.

Well, I wanna be captain one day.

Maybe you should have

thought of that before you

Oh, I know, I know. OK.

- MAN: OK, standby, folks.

- (BELL RINGS)

We're going live.

OK, in five, four, three

MAN: Shane, thanks for your time.

Last night Donna Wright told us she

would accept an apology from you.

Do you believe you have

anything to apologise for?

Good evening, Mike.

It's been very disappointing, the

exaggeration and sensationalism.

As an international sportsman

who gets pestered a bit,

I would never, ever harass somebody.

So, you believe you've got

nothing to apologise for?

Well, what happened, I didn't start it.

So, how did she get your hotel room key?

I never put the room

key in her back pocket.

I'm just not sure what

happened. I really don't know.

- Let's just

- TJ!

- Hey, Sim.

- (KISSES) Hey.

- Shane said you were in town.

- She says you came on to her

Well, yeah, we were planning

on a practise session.

Yeah, it's disappointing.

I mean, I'm obviously

but it's all been pretty

much one-sided, saying

So, how you going?

I was leaving dirty messages

and all those types of things,

and I think what's most disappointing

is that she was reciprocating and

laughing with her friends about it

I know.

Sorry, I thought he was on his own,

- I'm staying down the road, so

- It's OK, it's OK.

- I'm glad you're here.

- Well, obviously my wife, Simone,

was disappointed with what I did,

but we're like any married couple.

We've had our ups and downs,

and, well, she's stood by me.

Donna Wright also claims that

you actually performed a sex act

while you were on the phone with her.

Yeah, as I said before,

there was a bit of dirty talk.

Unfortunately, things happen, but

I thought it was a private matter.

I didn't think it was

gonna become public,

and now that it has become

public, I supposed it's a mistake,

and if it had stayed private,

well, it wasn't a mistake.

Have you learned from this incident?

Oh, hopefully I won't be talking on

the phone about this sort of stuff,

just in case it does become public.

- And, Shane, do you still want

- Sim!

to captain Australia one day?

Oh, absolutely. I'd love to.

I think we should just

put all this behind us

and get back to playing cricket.

Alright, Shane, look, thanks for

talking to us, and we appreciate it.

Shane Warne facing the music there,

and let's hope, next

time we speak to him,

it's about his exploits on the field.

We'll take a break, then families

fighting back against the rise

TJ! How you going?

of mobile phone towers.

Where's Simone?

She left.

She alright?

Oh, she's over the moon.

What do you think?

Let's get out of here.

Oh, you're angry with me?

You could have just

apologised, just once, Jesus!

Well, I'm sorry, TJ!

- Not to me, idiot!

- I know what you meant!

Look, Simone and I, we've

spoken, OK? We've talked.

It doesn't matter what

anyone else thinks.

Yeah, but Jesus!

No, look, you're right:

it's none of my business!

TJ?

You got a beautiful girl there.

You had every opportunity to

mend the fence a little bit.

Instead, you blew up the

whole bloody front yard:

made a complete arse of yourself!

I'm not judging you, Shane

Yeah, it sounds like

you might be just a bit.

I'm the last one to judge.

I made a bloody big mess of my life!

You know, I ended up

in prison, as you know.

Do you ever think, maybe, it's

just a spin bowler thing, right?

You know, deceive, destroy.

- Spin bowling: it's the art of deception

- Don't be a bloody idiot!

Well, maybe it's just in our genes.

You gotta keep it in your jeans!

Oh, nice! I like that.

I'm serious, Shane.

Compulsive behaviour,

that's what put me in jail,

that's what brought me

undone, compulsive behaviour.

VOICEOVER: Not long after

that, I got the call.

The Australian Cricket Board.

Malcolm Speed, CEO.

We're relieving you of

the role of vice-captain.

I wanted to tell you myself, Shane.

What?

Why? What have I done?

A string of headlines. Scandals!

Oh, one or two incidents

blown out of proportion.

I mean, I can still play cricket.

I can still bowl, I can

still outsmart a batsman.

('DUMB THINGS' BY PAUL KELLY PLAYS)

What's this?

Yep. Newspaper articles.

Magazines. Whatever.

From all over the world.

Last four years or so.

Have a read about yourself.

Saw the knives out ♪

Turned my back ♪

Heard the train coming ♪

Stayed out on that track ♪

In the middle ♪

In the middle ♪

In the middle of a dream ♪

I lost my shirt I pawned my rings ♪

I done all the dumb things ♪

I melted wax to fix my wings ♪

I've done all the dumb things ♪

Yeah, I threw my hat into the ring ♪

I've done all the dumb things ♪

Well, I thought that I ♪

f*ck!

Well yes.

Oh, this is just temporary, right?

Me losing the vice-captaincy, it's

you know, it's just

till all this dies down?

Well, is this gonna

die down any time soon?

(TRAM BELL RINGS)

Three years on, I'm out altogether,

thanks to the diuretic drama.

(CARTOONS PLAY ON TELEVISION)

Somehow, I'd gone from golden

boy to national villain.

I'd had my shoulder

wrecked, fixed again,

then wrecked again.

Surgery twice on my finger.

I'd been dropped from the team,

stripped of the vice-captaincy,

labelled a sex pervert,

and a drug cheat,

and now I'm banned for 12 months.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Um oh, I'm running out.

- I'm gonna grab more.

- Me too.

VOICEOVER: As much as I loved

hanging out with the kids,

I felt like I was cursed.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)

How to stop the landslide of sh*t.

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS)

One thing about having

an addictive personality,

it works both ways.

If I go healthy, I go crazy healthy.

I worked hard to get my dad bod ♪

(PUFFS)

I worked hard to get my dad bod ♪

MAN: Shane Warne is on the

verge of a third comeback.

That is unbelievable.

MAN: Should he even

be considered to play?

We've done well without him.

It's Shane Warne. He's

gotta be considered.

But the shoulder injury alone,

there's no way he could

ever be the bowler he was.

Those days are gone.

The second comeback after

the shoulder surgery,

that was a miracle in itself.

I mean, this is nuts! Come on, really.

I actually don't think

we need Shane Warne!

We have to move forward.

The guy can't play forever, I

mean, sadly. I wish he could!

Australia can't rely on him

forever to get us out of trouble.

(GRUNTS)

(ELECTRONIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GRUNTS)

My physique is unique ♪

How is it feeling? Does it hurt?

Not at all. I've got no pain.

12 months rest. They did you a favour.

Yeah, I should get banned more often.

Dad bod, dad bod ♪

SHANE VOICEOVER: Sri Lanka:

the first place I broke

through in Test cricket in '92.

The question now, 12 years later

was I still any good?

COMMENTATOR: Australia versus Sri

Lanka, the first day of the Test,

and we have some real added spice here.

and you can see on your screen

the all-time top three Test bowlers.

With Courtney Walsh now retired,

the race is on for Warne versus

Murali to claim the record.

Talk about extra motivation.

The great Sri Lankan spinner,

Murali, as I call him,

he and I were going head-to-head

for the world record

number of Test wickets.

In that first Test back from

the ban, I took ten wickets,

including my 500th.

COMMENTATOR: Sweeps it

straight up in the air.

Andrew Symonds is under it,

and there is wicket number 500!

I took ten more in the second

Test, and six in the third.

It was one of the best

series I ever played.

That is special stuff!

Shane Warne, you are a champion!

(UPBEAT ROCK RHYTHMS)

A few months later, Sri

Lanka was hit by a tsunami.

30,000 people lost their lives.

I rang Murali.

He said, "Get here,"

so I got on a plane.

We played cricket with

kids, gave out toys.

I mean, it was just devastating.

They say I'm just a

bogan from Black Rock.

Well, some days, that's the

luckiest thing in the world.

(SOMBRE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

(STICKY-TAPE STRETCHES)

No, I definitely think

we'll need new boxes.

We we are filling them up so

Sorry, two seconds.

Girls, girls, hang on, just

Um, sorry. Still there?

Yep, what I'll do is I'll

do a new list and then

Thank you. (LAUGHS)

Thanks. OK, bye.

It's a business, all this packing.

At least we got a few

weeks up our sleeves.

I don't wanna move house!

Nonsense! Going back to

England. What an adventure.

I like it here!

Brookey, did you tell Nanna

about your fancy new travel case?

I'm not going to England!

I'm not going!

Goodness me, do you want to stay

here with Nanna? I'll look after you.

Brooke, I want you to

take Summer, please.

Find her shoes, get yourselves ready.

Here we go. (GROANS) There you go.

Good girl. Good girl.

I'll be sad.

It was bad enough last time,

and you were only gone

for a month or something.

I don't think it's sunk in for me yet.

The school did a little

farewell thing for the kids.

Do you know what, doesn't work

out, you can always come back.

I am never moving house ever again.

SHANE VOICEOVER: At this

stage, I was already in England,

playing for Hampshire again.

I loved it.

Captaincy: the chance to build a team.

The camaraderie.

We had a young g*n batsman

named Kevin Pietersen.

He'd go on to be one of England's best.

A lot's been said about KP:

that he was arrogant,

difficult, or whatever.

He and I got along fine:

both on and off the field.

(PULSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

Look, here's how it is.

You walk down the street

and you can feel it.

The energy.

Heads turn. People wanna say hi.

You know, get close, touch you.

They want the Warnie show,

and I hate to disappoint.

(PULSING ELECTRONIC MUSIC)

(DRIVING ROCK MUSIC)

People say this stuff's shallow,

it's not what life's about.

The truth is, these are some

of the best nights of your life.

(DRIVING ROCK MUSIC)

I don't want to regret ♪

The stuff I never said ♪

The chance we never get ♪

Is it special or easy? ♪

Am I free or am I ♪

Anywhere ♪

Near your neck? ♪

f*ck it, I locked it I lost it again ♪

f*ck it, I locked

it I lost it again ♪

SHANE: But on this night,

I couldn't, could I?

I had to say no.

f*ck it, lock it I can't say ♪

I can't say ♪

I had enough trouble last

time we were in England.

At some point, you have to

grow up, learn to behave.

Or maybe you don't.

I mean, life's not a dress rehearsal.

Room 17 ♪

It all comes together ♪

It's about having fun.

Isn't it?

And stuff in your heart ♪

Yeah! ♪

('LOCKET' BY MAGIC DIRT PLAYS)

Coffins are shining

above your ceiling ♪

Who knows? Who knows?

WOMAN: The 2005 Ashes

are set to begin

(STRAINS)

and the Aussies are on

English soil, preparing for battle.

Shane Warne has the chance to

become the first ever bowler

to take 600 wickets.

(MAN LAUGHS)

(GRUNTS)

Oh, you made it!

Come on! Finally Oh You got here.

Come on!

Wait till you see the

size of your bedrooms.

- Oh

- Let's go in the kitchen.

Kitchen.

- New house. Come on, come on.

- Come on.

Wow! Look at the size of it!

- It's awesome!

- It's huge!

- Do you want to look at the backyard?

- Go on, go on, go on.

- Hey, babay.

- Oh, my God.

Hi.

Are you right?

Mm-hm. That was a long flight. (LAUGHS)

(LAID-BACK POP PLAYS FAINTLY)

I thought about it.

But I can't do it.

The answer's no.

Come on, Laura. We've

been back and forth.

10,000 pounds and a holiday.

That's my best offer.

It's not about the money.

I'm not that person.

I know you're not.

Nobody is.

Look, tomorrow,

someone else is gonna come forward

and the day after that as well.

So

get ahead of the queue.

Laura Sayers. Do you know her?

The newspaper's gonna publish.

(SIGHS)

Can we stop them? Can we call someone?

Yeah, I don't know.

Is it true?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(STIRS)

Oh

Is it late?

I'm still on Melbourne time.

Hon, what's wrong?

Hey.

There's a newspaper article.

It's another girl.

- You couldn't even manage

- Oh Oh

You couldn't manage eight f*cking weeks!

I'm sorry. It's just, you

know I I didn't

Eight weeks!

Yeah, can you just calm down? Right?

Sim Sim

We moved house! We moved

God, you little c**t!

- We moved for you, Shane!

- Simone, shh

Don't tell me to shush! Don't you dare!

Look, I'm sorry, OK?

I'm sorry. We just

- We just need to talk.

- No.

- Alright?

- No. No, we really, really don't.

(DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS SHUT)

(REPORTERS CLAMOUR)

(CAMERAS CLICK REPEATEDLY)

MAN: Simone! Simone!

Move! Move!

(CRIES)

(CRIES)

(SAD MUSIC PLAYS)

How are they?

Are they alright?

They're OK.

They're kids.

They're confused.

Who isn't?

I am really

I am really, really sorry.

Oh, don't, Shane.

I can't do it anymore.

Don't say that.

Just

I mean, we can work this out.

I can I can change.

I'll I'll do anything.

Honestly, I Shane

- I know I've been stupid I know

- Please, just stop.

Just stop.

This isn't a test match, Shane.

You don't have to keep going.

What do you actually want?

I want I want you.

I want you and I want the kids

No, you don't.

You don't. Not really.

Are you joking?

They

They mean the world to me, Simone.

They

I would do anything for our kids.

- I'd do anything for you

- It's not the point.

It's not the point. You can't

You can't do it.

Marriage. You're

You're no good at it.

But I

Just stop, Shane!

Stop!

OK.

What do you want?

I want not to be humiliated.

Was there more than one?

WOMAN: Simone! (KNOCKING)

(REPORTERS CLAMOUR)

(CAMERA CLICKS REPEATEDLY)

- Drive! Drive, Shane!

- There's people in the way!

Drive! Just go! Just go!

- Just go!

- Just get out of the way!

Get out of the way!

Where's your mama gone? ♪

Where's your mama gone? ♪

Little baby, Don ♪

Little baby, Don ♪

Where's your mama gone? ♪

Where's your mama gone? ♪

Far, far away ♪

Where's your papa gone? ♪

Where's your papa gone? ♪

RICHIE BENAUD: He's got him just

fractionally above the elbow.

Where's your papa gone? ♪

- Where's your papa gone? ♪

- (CROWD MEMBERS EXCLAIM)

Far, far away ♪

COMMENTATOR: Oh, that's

got the Australian captain.

And he's in trouble here.

CROWD: Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

SHANE: "Where's your missus gone?"

Over and over, for hours.

Truly, it would go

on all day, every day.

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Where's your missus gone? ♪

Far, far away ♪

- 'Cause my missus HAD gone.

- Far, far away ♪

Simone had taken the kids

and gone back to Australia,

as any sane person would.

I wrecked my marriage.

Me.

All by myself.

My daughter Brooke had given me

a farewell present, a wristband.

I wore it all the time.

It kept me alive.

In the first Ashes test, we k*lled it.

Glenn McGrath, aka 'Pigeon',

took nine wickets and I took six.

- (CHEERING)

- COMMENTATOR: Brilliant.

(CHEERING)

The second test was

said to be the best ever.

COMMENTATOR: Bowled him!

It was right up there.

TONY GREIG: There it is.

Oh, he's hit him hard here.

Pigeon was out injured.

The game seesawed.

It was crazy, but England

beat us by two runs.

Two runs!

- COMMENTATOR: Jones!

- (CHEERING)

Kasprowicz the man to go

In spite of the singalong, I'd

taken 16 wickets in two tests.

I was playing some of the

best cricket of my life.

At night, I was pathetic.

I drank vodka and

sobbed to 'Pup' Clarke.

Lucky old Pup.

We were all square going into

the third test in Manchester.

I got there: the big 600.

(CHEERING)

COMMENTATOR: What's that

done? Now, then Yes! Out!

600 test match wickets for Shane Warne!

SHANE: I kissed the

wristband, a sign to Brooke:

I miss you, I love you

and one day I'll make it up to you,

one day I'll be the dad you deserve.

The whole series came down to

the last day of the last match.

Kevin Pietersen - remember him?

- smashed it out of the park.

(CHEERING)

RICHIE BENAUD: That's a beautiful stroke

with which to make your

maiden test century

the last test match

of an Ashes series

(CHEERING)

(STRAINS)

- Catch!

- (CHEERING)

Freddie Flintoff and I

won men of the series.

(CHEERING)

I said goodbye to the crowd, to

the English fans, God love them.

CROWD: (CHANTS) Wish you were English!

I don't know who it was,

but someone once said

"It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times."

SHANE: So many sports stars

don't know when to stop.

Or they can't stop until they're

forced out by injury or worse,

the tap on the shoulder.

- (CAMERAS CLICK)

- I made my own decision to go.

First of all, I'd like to

thank you all for coming.

Today, I announce my retirement

from international cricket.

I'll play out the rest of this

test series and that's it for me.

You have a chance to be the first

ever person to take 700 wickets.

I mean, why (LAUGHS) Why

would you retire before that?

Well, as I said before, I'll

play out the next two tests, so

You back yourself to reach the 700?

I've backed myself so far.

It's worked out OK.

- (REPORTERS CLAMOUR)

- SHANE: Why did I do it?

Honestly, the breakdown of my marriage.

That changed everything for me.

For one thing, I stopped lying.

I didn't have to do anymore.

And that question of

Simone's, "What do you want?"

What do you actually want?

I wanted to take time out and hang

out with the kids, be a proper dad,

before it was too late.

But first, the Boxing Day test,

the last one I'd ever

play in my home town.

A few people turned up to watch.

(CHEERING)

90,000 screaming fans.

(LAUGHS) My God, did

they make some noise!

MICHAEL SLATER: It's gonna

be tough work for Shane Warne

given that it's day

one here at Melbourne.

A lot of moisture around.

Then, suddenly, they'd go so quiet.

(CROWD QUIETENS)

(GRUNTS)

BILL LAWRY: Collingwood

sweeps fine. Should be four.

(GRUNTS)

MARK TAYLOR: Got him! There it is!

Wicket number 700!

And they can't catch him!

Everything seemed to lead

to that one perfect moment.

Through the gate and has got Strauss!

(CHEERING)

You got the feeling he was

writing the script, Shane Warne

and in front of his home

crowd, he holds the ball aloft.

No better way than to hit the

stumps for wicket number 700.

SHANE: I was never much into horseracing

but for some reason I said yes to

a VIP ticket at Goodwood in England.

(DAINTY MUSIC PLAYS)

How you going?

And lucky I did 'cause

that's where I met Elizabeth.

Um, would you mind?

Shane Warne.

Oh, my God.

I'm starstruck.

(LAUGHS) Well, I think that's, um

Well, that'd be my line.

- Hello.

- Hello.

I'm Elizabeth.

Yeah. I know. (LAUGHS)

It's hard to explain

but we just clicked.

We got on like a house on fire.

- (MOANING)

- Or even a hotel.

- Small problem.

- (ALARM BLARES)

At this stage, I was kind of

- (LAUGHS)

- sort of

look, how do I put

this back with Simone.

- (CAMERA CLICKS)

- I know. I know

- Look, it's complicated

- (CAMERA CLICKS)

and we'd organised to go away

together for Christmas with the kids,

so

I, uh (CLEARS THROAT)

SHANE: I had a bit of explaining to do.

Look, open, honest, full disclosure

I have a new girlfriend.

Her name's Elizabeth.

She was in 'Austin Powers'.

The movie.

SHANE: Yeah, that didn't go so well.

(WOMAN SINGS OPERATICALLY)

The media circus was nuts

(REPORTERS CLAMOUR) (CAMERAS CLICK)

(WOMAN SINGS OPERATICALLY)

especially in Australia.

A lot of the time, we

just couldn't go out.

- We were trapped, which

- (HELICOPTER WHIRRS)

oh, suited me just fine.

Oh, my God. What is that hideous noise?

- It's a helicopter.

- (HELICOPTER WHIRRS)

Ah.

- Ah, it'll run out of fuel eventually.

- (LAUGHS)

- Hopefully not overhead.

- (BOTH LAUGH)

MAN: Shane Warne has been

accused of cheating on Liz Hurley,

reportedly texting a

Melbourne businesswoman

WOMAN: Shane Warne and

Liz Hurley are engaged

WOMAN: They got married

- WOMAN: Shane Warne and Liz Hurley

- WOMAN: Liz Hurley is pregnant

- That's the rumour

- WOMAN: Liz Hurley pregnant?

- WOMAN: is a Scientologist

- WOMAN: Well, it's possible

MAN: Liz Hurley's in the new

James Bond and Shane is furious

WOMAN: Shane Warne's

terrible break-up with Liz

Jeez, you've been busy.

SHANE: Around that

time, I got a phone call,

one of those phone calls

you just don't ever want.

(POP MUSIC PLAYS ON RADIO)

(TURNS ENGINE OFF)

TJ.

What, you're waiting out

the front door for me?

Heard you coming down the street.

How did you know it was me?

Your exquisite taste in music.

(LAUGHS)

Thanks for coming.

Sorry I couldn't make it sooner.

How you doing?

Fantastic.

The heart attack did a lot of damage.

The doctor said

Let's not talk about it, eh?

Sorry.

Let me know if you two run

out of things to talk about.

(SIGHS)

- TJ, if you need anything, I'm

- No.

Look at this.

TONY GREIG: (ON TV) Oh, they've got him.

I think that's out!

I think he's actually

TJ, what are you doing?

- This is

- Just look at it.

IAN HEALY: (ON TV) 998 wickets

Warne and McGrath share in

games they've played together.

Thank you, says Warne.

Thank you, says the crowd.

A love-hate relationship that

English crowds have had with him

I think has turned to love.

Love only.

Well, you have your good days and

- Hey, TJ

- Shut up.

Look at it.

(CRIES)

Someone will do it better.

Yeah, and they'll do

it better soon enough.

Yeah, well, I won't be around for it.

I'm as good as gone.

Eh

Never had that bottle of red.

Well

It's a bit early for wine, but

I'll give it a go if you will.

- You're not f*ck' having it now.

- (LAUGHS)

You had your chance.

('VOTRE COTE YEYE M'EMMERDE'

BY THE LIMINANAS PLAYS)

(WOMAN SINGS IN FRENCH)

(MAN SINGS IN FRENCH)

I go, um, to the French

embassy and I don't speak it,

and they would not tolerate that.

I'm not surprised, those Frenchmen.

Mm-hm. Yes, I really

think that's perfect.

(GIGGLES)

- (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)

- (LAUGHS)

I've just gotta call someone.

No worries. I'll be a couple of minutes.

Yeah, no, go for it. Call them.

(MOBILE PHONE RINGS)

I was just wondering if

you could do the 22nd.

No. No, I'm in LA for

a poker tournament.

We could meet there.

I'm in Paris for Estee Lauder.

Following Friday?

I've got a charity golf game. Melbourne.

Come on. Surely you can skip that.

Well, it's for sick kids, you know.

Plus, I want to see my own kids.

What about the weekend of

the fifth? I'm totally free.

Mmm

No.

Cast read-through for the new show.

Can you come?

What, to New York?

Well, you're free.

You just said.

Yeah, but, well, it's

Summer's birthday on the Monday

and Simone's doing a dinner,

the whole thing, you know.

(SIGHS)

Oh, we'll we'll figure something out.

Shane

Hey, um

what are you, uh

what are you wearing right now?

You can make it up. It

doesn't have to be real.

Not now.

We

We seem to have hit a wall.

Look

I mean, don't

Don't say that.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Elizabeth

(PENSIVE MUSIC)

SHANE: If I learnt one thing in my life,

I'm not the best in the world

at long-distance relationships.

Oh, except with my kids.

I seemed to be able to connect

with them no matter where I was.

(LAUGHS) Dad, you're an idiot.

- Oh, well, at least I'm not smart

- At least you're not What?

- That doesn't make sense.

- Gotcha!

See? Got you with that one.

- (SIGHS) You're a dag.

- Yeah?

Well, at least I'm not a smart dag.

(CLICKING)

Let me have a go.

Hang on, hang on. There's

There's a trick to it.

Yeah, and you never know the trick.

That's not true. I'm the only

one who knows the trick. Alright?

- Oh, my God.

- Dad, move.

Jackson knows how it works.

SHANE: People used to

ask me all the time,

how much do you think was just

luck, getting lucky with the ball?

Well, I'd like to say more

hard work than anything, but

Horrible. Get out of the way.

with my family,

boy, did I get lucky!

- I reckon Mum could do it.

- She will not do better than me.

- Here we go.

- Mum

I made some horrible mistakes.

In sporting terms, I played some

shockers and yet somehow we held on.

Me and the kids just

got closer and closer.

Simone and I stayed friends to the end.

How could you not?

Forget the Gatting ball.

That's the real miracle, right there.

(CHEERING)

SHANE: So, did I deserve

it, all this kerfuffle,

all this worship on

the holy altar of fame?

That's not for me to judge.

That's for you.

But, yeah, I I think I probably did.

(CHEERING)

COMMENTATOR: Well, that has

turned about two and a half feet.

Gatting can't believe his eyes.

What a start for Shane Warne.

(CHEERING)

COMMENTATOR: What's that done?

Now, then Yes! Out!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

600 test match wickets for Shane Warne!

What a moment!

MARK TAYLOR: Got him! There it is!

Wicket number 700!

And they can't catch him!

(CHEERING)

Shane Warne, through the

gate, has got Strauss.

IAN HEALY: 998 wickets,

Warne and McGrath share

in games they've played together.

Thank you, says Warne.

Thank you, says the crowd.

The love-hate relationship that

English crowds have had with him

I think has turned to love.

Love only.