02x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Your talent is what got you your

scholarships at St Gilbert's.

Don't be who they

expect you to be.

This serious.

The scholarship kids need

to fit in with the school,

not fit the school around them.

If you just want my

attention, then just say that.

I don't want your attention.

Then what do you want?

I heard you're the weed man.

Are you embarrassed of me?

I just don't know why you

always have to be the joke.

I promised my dad I

would do well here.

We you know you're black,

but we are struggling to figure out

what you're actually excellent at.

Yeah.

Have you lot not

watched Get Out?

That's how you man end

up in a sunken place.

What are you waiting for?

SHE SCREAMS

Apparently there's,

like, a secret society.

Brother, you've got to let

this secret society thing go.

Make sure you don't forget us.

Remember, we made

you right here.

You're a Rah'scal.

Smile.

We look good together.

Please welcome your acting

head, Mrs Watlington-Geese.

As messed up as this place

is, I think we all love it.

OVERLAPPING CHATTER

You know we're missing

this train, innit?

Leah, we've got enough time.

I'm only supposed to take four.

Big man, I beg you,

relax your batty.

We're going to fit.

Omar, get on Femi's lap.

Can I not? You know what?

If we just took overground, we

would've got to the station quicker.

Hey, yo, hey, ring

him again, please.

He's not answering.

I'm not taking five.

Keep running your mouth and

I'm dropping you two stars.

Hey!

VENTS IN BENGALI

BEEPS HORN

Don't forget to take your

nastiness out the fridge.

It's not nastiness, Grandma.

It's a science project.

Why unu inna ye posh school

can't just read book?

Want to cut up pig, cat

and cow, want to play God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And don't stress yourself

about us, you hear?

Yeah.

Come give me a hug, then.

There's, like, three

quid left on the metre

and Grandma doesn't get

her money until next week.

Yeah, Malachi's going

to come through.

Bruv, he ain't

been here for time.

Just give me Mum's number,

innit? Just give her a chance.

Come give me a hug, I got to go.

He's fine.

Take that nastiness and go.

MALACHI: Yo, I'm

busy. Leave a message.

Malachi, where are you, bruv?

I need you to help Caleb out.

Call me when you get the chance.

Jaheim.

What?

I, um

I was going to pop this

through the door for you.

How many times do we have to

tell you we don't want to know?

Yo, you can't read a watch now?

Missed you too,

brother. Missed you too.

But look at you greeting me

like this, bro. Come on, man.

My turn. Good?

Calm, still. People's good?

Come on. What you

lot saying? Good?

All good, you know

what the time is?

Move, bro, I don't care.

What do you mean move?

Hurry up.

Ah, ah, ah!

Aarh, you're crushing my knees!

You lot comfy, yeah?

Oi, this doesn't feel safe.

Hey, to St Gilbert's,

to bloodclart, bruv.

HORN BEEPS

Let's go! Here we

go! We're going.

I swear these uniforms

have gotten uglier.

Hmm? You sure it ain't

just, like, your face? Oh!

Cheeky.

Uh, don't know about

you lot, though,

but this time round

feels kind of better.

We survived the

first term storm.

Mm.

Endured the darkest depths.

Faced the wrath of the titans.

Mmm.

Well, I guess some things never

change, huh? Always beefing.

Nah, she's just

being petty. Mm.

You did get her dad

fired. Suspended.

Pending an investigation.

I beg you, chat to

her for me, please.

Me and her don't chat.

She called me a joke, innit?

Why are you lot

always so sensitive?

OTHERS CHUCKLE

Forget all that.

I'm on the lookout

for a new ting now.

Actually, there

is this new girl.

Please, please, please,

please be a black girl.

Devonye Green. Yeah, she's

definitely a black girl.

I knew a white

girl called Ebony.

No drama this time.

Just good time.

Look how man's

attitude's switch up

now he's getting that

good-good, innit?

What? This one? This one.

Is he?

Don't worry about that.

What?

LAUGHTER

Mm, I've missed this.

We was doing it a lot

over the holidays.

Now, we can do it every day.

Multiple times a day.

Nice pants.

Doctor Who's a big

man show, you know?

They've got matching earrings.

Gilbertus numquam concedat.

ASSEMBLY: Gilbertus

semper duret.

Welcome back, everyone

Hey, Miss.

You may want to zip that.

As you are all aware, due to the

leadership of our previous head,

St Gilbert's has been

run into the ground.

This decline in admissions

has created a deficit,

and the only way St Gilbert's can

continue delivering its renowned,

excellent education

..is by tightening

the purse strings.

At the end of the current

term, I will be reducing

Master Ashford's scholarship

programme from five places to three.

I believe financial aid

should be based on talent,

rather than background.

Those on such scholarships

will be given report cards.

My God.

The three with the highest

marks across the term

will be awarded

the scholarships.

And

Ah, that's everything.

Enjoy the new term.

Yo. Meter's run out.

There's still no

sign of Malachi.

My phone's on 10%.

I can't even make toast,

G. I'm going to pattern it.

Just give me Mum's number.

She said she can help.

I'll sort it, bro, chill.

Jaheim.

Jaheim!

You look stressed.

Bro, we've all just been

thrown into the Hunger Games,

and you want me to be happy? Mm.

This guy. Fair enough.

What, you're still on the

hunt, yeah? Yes, bruv.

Honestly, I ain't pree'd

this new ting yet.

But everyone else that's

decent's already paired up. Mm.

You know, sometimes you

have to look further afield.

All right.

Can't lie though, it's barren.

Yeah?

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

THEY CHUCKLE

Oi, that's a bit of you, innit?

Bruv. I know you love

your white tings.

You're the one preaching

chop-chop, bro.

Deal with what

you're dealt with.

What, the head boy

and the polyglot

not too worried about

getting kicked out, yeah?

Not as worried as you should be.

MOCK CHUCKLES

Anyway, by acting headmistress.

Acting.

She's pretending, she can't

take away our scholarships.

Well, she's acting like she can.

Here.

I usually like my double D's.

CHUCKLING

Yeah, very funny, very funny.

It's not the time

to be making jokes.

If we all get A's, maybe she

won't be able to kick us all out.

OK. This is not right,

and it's targeted.

Like, we have to

jump through hoops.

No, we should tell her

fi suck her mudder.

So, you learned absolutely

nothing from last year?

You're just giving her more

reasons to kick you out, eh?

Listen to me, all right?

We just need to strategise.

No, no, let me

land. Go on, go on.

OK.

We could, like, do a march.

OTHERS: Oh. No, no, no, no,

let me land, let me land.

All the time. No, no, no, no.

We skip classes.

This is why my dad said I cannot be

hanging around you foolish goats.

You cheeky b*stard.

Listen. Good luck, suffragette.

OK. Power to the people.

All right, you lot just

leave me to it, then.

You lot can suck

your mudders too.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

So, I'll come to yours

or you can come to mine.

Yeah, sure.

Mine is fine, yours is fine.

Whatever is fine.

Is that you this term,

yeah, Omar? Yeah?

Last term it was all weird

drawings and secret societies.

Which obviously

was a hoax. Is it?

I've heard nothing

from the Raisinettes.

That's a good thing.

Less with that stupidness.

More time for you

and Dilton to

What? Jab our dicks together?

I don't know what you man do.

Look, he's just

coming over to study.

Study, eh? Study, eh?

No, we, we haven't

I'm-I'm bricking it.

Not surprised.

Two virgins having sex.

Just bear hands and genitals.

Shouldn't you be telling

me to relax and enjoy it?

Relax? Brother, the last

thing you want to do is relax.

You came in as a virgin.

You don't want to

be leaving as one.

Hear me?

Hey, pretend you

told me a joke. Why?

TOBY LAUGHS

Toby.

What? Can we talk?

I was wondering if you

wanted to pop round later.

Why would I do that?

Right, yes.

Well, I understand that some

ill-chosen words were thrown around.

Mm. But what we

had was fun, right?

Let's be honest.

Yeah, it was decent. Decent?

Fine. It was lit. You happy now?

Yes, well

Um, I'm not saying that we

get back together or anything.

I do have principles, you know.

As do I.

But I also enjoy fun.

As do you.

Thank you, Abby,

for your kind offer.

But, um, respectfully,

imma decline.

BOTH: Babe.

What?

I just think you

should apologise.

For what?

For calling him a joke.

Yes, but to, to

apologise is to

..admit I was wrong.

You were wrong.

Exactly!

Uh.

Hey, I love those locks on you.

You're black!

THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, my gosh. Wait, sorry.

What are you even doing

here? Oh, I'm just

I'm on, like, an exchange

student sort of thing.

Although I didn't

I didn't really realise it was

going to be this melanin deficient,

you know.

Um, sorry, I'm Devonye.

I'm Leah. Um, so, what,

do you normally go to, like, private

schools, like, back in the US?

Yeah, yeah, but just on

scholarships like you.

Oh, nice. I've never, I've never

been anywhere this fancy before.

Yeah, no, I'm still

getting used to that.

MABEL CLEARS THROAT Like,

it's mad. Oh, this is Mabel.

Hi.

Hi. Hi. Oh, my God,

I love your freckles.

Oh.

Yeah, like, I could just,

like, pick 'em off and wear

'em as sequins, you know.

OK.

OK, weird.

AWKWARD LAUGHTER

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Oh, that's the school bell,

which means that you should

probably take your seat.

MABEL CHUCKLES

Um, I think there's some

empty seats over there,

on the other side of the room.

Oh, cool, yeah.

Awesome, well, I'll

see y'all around then.

I'll see you around, babe.

See ya.

MOCK VOICE: See y'all later.

I'm American. So American

OK, Mabel, stop it.

Oh, my God, she's

nice, like, what?

MABEL SUCKS THROUGH HER TEETH

What was that? Did you just?

Don't, don't do that again.

But I had it that

time. No, mm, no.

Mm-mm.

Mm.

Also, we need to talk about

the black emojis thing.

Oh, is that a no? No.

Should I just use

the yellow ones?

Exactly.

Not getting that many likes?

You really like to think you're

the only person with problems,

don't you? Only the real ones.

Just because my houses

are bigger than yours

doesn't mean everything's

perfect, Jaheim.

Oh, more money, more

problems, right? Hmm.

And how are your problems?

Shouldn't you be kissing arse

to save your scholarship?

Ha-ha! So, you got

jokes now, huh? Mm.

Speaking of jokes, where's,

uh, where's Rupert?

On work experience.

During term time?

In term time.

OK.

Well, got to find something

to do for free period, do you?

I've got to study. So

Have fun.

WHISPERS TO HIMSELF

LAUGHTER, INDISTINC

CONVERSATION

Right, right, right,

you get those.

Yes, check the supplies.

You shall be bestowed

What's with all the condoms?

It's for tomorrow night.

It's this, um, new society

that we signed up for.

Aah. Mm. The bumming society?

Ah, ah, au contraire,

mon ami, non.

We shall be dabbling

in a spot of the

..dramatics.

I didn't take you

lot for thespians.

Darling, I just want to

climb upon these racks.

Have a look at this, Femi.

Yeah.

This is the new dramaturg, OK.

She's a writer-in-residence

and she's,

like, at St Gilbert's to inspire

her next theatrical piece.

And the Guardian said she's

Britain's most urgent playwright.

And guess what?

I most urgently need to

get into her panties.

THEY CHUCKLE

Come on, you should come.

Oh, I can't do that

kind of stuff right now.

Don't be a killjoy, mate.

I thought you guys would have been

used to leaving me behind anyway.

Kind of like how you

did over the holidays.

That's where you got the

matching jewellery, right?

Well, you were invited skiing.

Yeah, don't be narked with us

because you couldn't afford it.

OK, Graham, that's,

that's enough.

No, all you had to pay for was

the flight and you couldn't.

You're poor, mate.

Get over it.

We have.

God, no!

Hm.

Just, I—I need to go

catch up with the boys,

so I should probably

do that, yeah?

See you later,

yeah? Yeah, yeah.

MABEL: OK, I got some croissants

and some nuts.

You're not allergic

to nuts, are you?

Mabel, it's a

protest, not a picnic.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, look. Here comes

little Miss Beg Friend.

Hey, thank you for coming.

Yeah, anything to support.

Nice.

So, where's everyone else?

This is it.

Oh.

Miss Dulverton.

Acting headmistress.

The Afro-Caribbean Society.

Problem? Absolutely not.

However, St Gilbert's

is a community

and it's vital everyone

feels included.

As much as I'd love for us

to all sing Kumbaya, I ain't

really feeling what you're feeling.

If you could all pack

up your belongings,

today's event is cancelled.

Mm.

Shutting down the one society that

looks different to the status quo

seems pretty divisive to me.

Not the society, just

whatever this event is.

And until you can prove yourself

to be a true team player,

you will be stepping

down as chair.

Oh, and I may be

acting head now,

but I have several board members in

favour of my permanent appointment.

Just something to bear in mind.

Have a lovely evening.

sh*t.

No. No, no, no.

You need to chill.

I'm just going to talk to her.

No, you're not,

OK, you're angry.

Do I look angry? Yes.

And it's fine. We just need

to just channel that anger.

Channel it into what? She

just shut down my whole thing.

Does it matter? There's

no-one here, anyway.

What you got going on is cute.

Cute? Cute.

Which is not the vibe when she's

trying to stop you from saying

and doing sh*t.

I mean, she's fighting dirty.

So, you need to show her that

petty is a two-player game.

Look, you can take her

down, but you need an army.

And the only way to get that

army is if you show them

that you's a f*cking

leader, girl.

I'm listening.

RING TONE

PHONE RINGS

What you saying?

Oh, so now you care.

Watch your tone, bro.

Where are you? Bro, why

aren't you at school?

Lights are out.

Couldn't do my homework.

I ain't trying to get

shouted at at school.

Listen, I'm going to sort

it out with Malachi, yeah.

I promise.

Now, you do something for

me and go to school, please.

Yeah, when you

get the lights on.

Caleb.

HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS

KNOCK AT DOOR

Hey.

So

So.

So, so

So.

So, so, so, so

..so.

It's OK.

Are you OK? Um

Uh, I'm nervous.

Oh.

That wasn't the reaction

I was expecting.

No. Um

..I was gonna say

the same thing.

I'm

..scared as hell.

I guess we can be

scared together.

Yeah.

Um

I I need to use the

bathroom real quickly.

Yep. OK. OK. Um

Yeah, I'll I'll

see you in a minute.

Please, please, please,

please, please. Oh!

This is what I have to do.

Sweet Jesus, baby.

Phew.

DOOR CREAKS

Hello?

KNOCK AT DOOR Yeah?

What you doing? Uh, working.

Well, aren't you

the goody two-shoes?

Ooh, how about we

don't touch that?

It's for biology, and

if Carol has her way,

then I won't be here

next term, so

I know that feeling.

I think my dad has stopped

giving my mum money.

She says that he hasn't, but

now the finance department

is emailing me, asking why she's

stopped responding to their letters.

I think I am well

and truly screwed.

PHONE CHIMES

Jaheim? What? You

could say something.

Mm.

What's this? Who's it from?

You're a bit nosy

today, aren't you?

I'm not nosy, I'm just curious.

You OK? Good.

Are you sure? What's up?

Just wanted to hang.

Sorry, Xiang's coming

back in a bit, so

Well, we don't have to shag.

Well, what are you

doing here, then?

Look, um, I didn't mean that.

I think I'm just gonna go.

HE GRUNTS

HE SIGHS

Hello?

This is weird.

Drop your pants and assume

the position against the wall.

Sorry, what? Every new Raisinette

must receive the initiation paddles.

I've come too far

to back out now.

Oh, God no, sorry, I was, I

was just f*cking with you.

Wow, you really want

to be a Raisinette.

It's Um ..it's

OK, I won't tell anyone.

Pop on your cloak and

mask and follow me.

But what is this place?

It was a munitions storage

during the Second World w*r.

Now, it's the Walls of Smut.

Every secret, every

private conversation,

every truth that is

scared to be uttered

that takes place at St Gilbert's

is etched onto these walls.

What secret will

you add to the wall?

Oh, I don't think I will.

Everyone has to add to the wall.

But I don't know any secrets.

I wouldn't let anyone

else hear you say that.

You'd better find some out

soon or you're screwed.

Wait, what, what do

you mean by that?

You don't want to know.

Trust me.

Wait, is

..is that Dilton?

Yeah. Hilarious, right?

But it's not true,

though, right?

Of course it's true.

It's the Wall of Truth.

Yelena, I need to

change to a forward.

I have my forwards.

Change me out for Parker.

She was dogshit last term,

and you know it. Hmm?

No offence, Parker.

Why? The sports bursary

is up for grabs, right?

Forwards score goals,

goals get attention.

I'll think about it.

Wh what is there to

think about? Yelena!

One less eardrum,

thank you, Beatrix.

What's wrong with Bea?

Jaheim, ooh-ooh.

But they were so cute together.

Oh, my God, I have other

problems aside from Jaheim.

Of course, but you

were cute together,

and now I am really sad for you.

Aw. There's nothing

to be sad about.

There was a spark

and now there's not.

No love lost.

What are you girls

yapping on about?

Jaheim couldn't get

Beatrix to spark.

THEY LAUGH

We have a game.

I know, Yelena.

If you want the bursary, take

your mind off of genitals

and keep it on the game.

Everyone, kit up.

Come on!

I'll be your boyfriend, Beatrix.

Sorry. Oops, don't mind me.

Just heading from

class to class.

I like to see how

everything is running.

Ooh, full hands, shall

I take that for you?

Thank you.

Good luck.

Sorry, mate. I think

you dropped something.

CLASS GIGGLES

Anybody want to tell

me what's going on?

Um, nothing.

Well, not nothing.

People are saying you couldn't

get it up with Beatrix.

Uh

Minor though, innit?

f*ck my life.

Right, presentation day.

Who shall start? Um

OK, um, Marsham comma Jaheim.

Give him a round of applause.

Woo!

Lungs do more than just

the simple intake of oxygen

and expelling of carbon dioxide.

They also are a

filtration system.

The mucus in the

lungs, they, um

PHONE BUZZES, PUPILS LAUGH

Sorry. Sorry, sir.

All right, everyone,

settle down. Quiet.

Turn it off.

We're waiting.

Yeah, Marsham. It's

really not that hard.

HE COUGHS, OTHERS LAUGH

All right, all

right, settle down.

You're going to have to Sorry,

this is really important, sir.

Hello. Marsham. Marsham?

I'll call you back.

Marsham! Just keep your phone

on and just wait, yeah? Please.

Uh, do you know what,

sir? I think I'll go next.

Yeah, I've been using a

virtual dissection software,

basically, to help me study

the anatomy of rodents.

So, uh, hope no-one's

scared of rats!

MUSIC: Undumpable

by Moonchild Sanelly

Ew.

Ew!

Ew.

Ew.

Just apologise, Abby.

MESSAGE SENDS

A, um

A major religious

movement in the

..17th century?

16th. 16th. 16th century.

That led to, um

Ah! Ah.

The divide of Christianity

in Western Europe.

We've gone over this, my

brother. I know, and I know it.

It's the same crap we did

in the exams to get in here.

I'm, uh, I'm just

I'm always just Ugh!

Stop panicking.

You're so uptight.

I can hear your bum cheeks

clenching from here.

Yeah, I know. I can't help it.

I'm always feeling like people

are surprised that I'm here.

Yeah. We are, bro.

Cos of how you move, innit?

And stop caring about what other

people think, I've told you this.

The sooner you do that, the sooner

I get to go back to my rahtid room.

You're right. You're right. You're

right. You're right. You're right.

OK, um

Next one. Yeah.

Oh, it's, uh, 16th

century, you was

CAMERA SNAPS

MESSAGE TONE

I'm going to teach you

some breathing exercises

when I get back, yeah?

You just keep reading.

I'll be back in ten.

Who am I kidding? Five.

Look, we've got a

whole term together,

we can't keep on

living like this.

Listen, yeah, did I

like your dad? No.

Was he a prick? Yeah.

Probably still is. Well,

this is a great start.

Let me land.

When I trashed the

portrait last time,

I genuinely thought I'd

be the one going home.

Not your dad.

I swear.

And I wanted to send

"hey" so many times.

Well, I was hoping you would.

Come here. I'm so sorry!

Oh, what's with the balaclavas?

If Carol's planning to stay,

I need to figure out a

way to force her to leave.

No. My dad will be back.

This is all just a

formality. I don't think so.

Carol's saying that she's got board

members on side and everything.

Bullshit.

She sounded pretty

confident to me.

Dad

MUSIC: Weh Bruk

A Go by Mr Vegas

TEXT MESSAGE

Close the door, bruv!

Yo, it's Toby here.

Don't leave a message cause

I get charged for voicemails.

You said you'll be ten minutes.

If you think I'm a lost cause,

it would be nice if you

just were honest about it.

Hello. My name is Miss Bradshaw,

but you can call me Jude.

Uh, "Ms" Bradshaw, so you're

not, you're not married?

No, why?

It's just very

good to know, Jude.

SNIGGERING

Yeah.

Would you like to come in?

The reason we can drop the airs and

graces is because I'm not a teacher.

I am a writer in residence

and I am hoping to create

stories from your experiences

that we will stage together.

Whatever those

experiences may be.

Why don't we start with

a game? A bit of improv.

Any volunteers?

Do you know what? Toes actually

loves improv. I'll be gentle!

What's your name? Femi.

Femi, would you like

to come up here?

OK, can someone

give me a location?

A bedroom!

And, um, our relationship?

Uh, husband and wife.

And a scenario?

Oh, um, it's your wedding night.

THEY SNIGGER

OK.

What a night.

It was great.

So much dancing.

What was your favourite part?

The first dance.

I'm glad to be back in our room.

I was thinking about

us starting a family.

Me too.

Can you help me with my dress?

What now?

Now

..we f*ck.

SHOCKED LAUGHTER

Oh, my God!

Do you want to say

that a bit louder?

No.

Thanks for joining

us. You can go now.

Yeah, maybe you lot

should join him?

Yep, yeah, that's OK.

Pleasure.

Love your work, big fan.

Thank you very much.

Femi, what the hell was that?

I love this new Femi.

Mwah! Let's go! Let's go!

LAUGHTER

Let's get smashed!

Didn't see you at dinner

so I brought you this.

Thank you.

Just so you know,

I didn't spread those rumours.

Everybody thinks I can't

get it up now, so

Couldn't be further

from the truth.

Look, all I said to the

girls is that we aren't

..vibing.

I thought we were.

Take away us sleeping

together and what is there?

I didn't know we were there.

I didn't say we were.

It's just

I want to spend time with somebody

who wants to do more than just shag.

All I know about you is

that your name is Jaheim

and you love black pepper.

Well, um

I'm just, I'm just

going through some sh*t.

You can talk to me. I'm here.

OK.

Damn, damn, damn, I

forgot the balaclavas.

Too late, come on. OK.

Graham. Oh.

Is it going to hurt?

Of course it's going to hurt,

we're going to jab a safety

pin through your ear.

Come on.

You ready?

I was born ready.

I got this from Annabel.

You you guys have studs.

Darling, we'll get you a stud.

It's just, um, temp.

Yeah? OK.

Oh, that is good.

Ready?

Turn this on

Bite down on this. Trust me.

One, two, three!

FEMI GROANS

OK, Femi, relax.

Calm down, calm down.

Relax. sh*t.

sh*t! sh*t, sh*t, f*ck!

Sh-sh-sh-sh, sh-sh, OK,

we can't be too loud.

OK, good job. Is it

supposed to sting like this?

I don't know, mate, we got

ours done professionally, so

Oh, you wallads.

No regrets.

Ha!

CAR ALARM

BOTH: Brrap, braap!

Can we go somewhere next

holiday, like, the four of us?

Yeah, look, right, I'll pay.

Or we'll do something cheap,

like Alton Towers or something.

Look, look, but

we've got to promise.

Earrings together, tattoos

together, mates forever.

Whoo!

Go, go!

I got my f*cking

ear pierced, man.

HE CACKLES

Femi, what are you doing, bruv?

Oh, calm down, Dad.

I'm just having fun.

Oh, fun? Fun.

Brother, you're worried about

getting kicked out, yeah?

This is how you do it, you know.

Yeah, well, I'm already out.

You don't know that

yet. Of course I do.

I'm the weakest out

of the lot of us.

I'm, I'm f*cked.

I might as well enjoy

my time whilst I'm here.

You know, go out like a legend.

Have something for my

friends to remember me by.

Brother, they

ain't your friends.

And you are?

Big man, I'm sorry I

bailed on you, innit?

It's fine, it's fine, it's fine

Bro, listen, I went to link Abby

I'm not surprised.

Everyone hates me.

It's my fault.

I pushed you all away.

Lay in the bed that

you made, right?

Tobes, Tobe

Femi.

I'll see you later. Let

me chat to you. Toby!

Femi. Don't chat to me, man.

What do I pay you for?

I'm going to get it cleaned up.

And as we speak,

I'm having the CCTV footage

downloaded onto a USB.

So, uh, we're going to get it

cleaned straight away, Carol.

And, um, I'm going

to get it sorted.

I'm going to get to the

bottom of it, Carol.

I can promise you

that much, I

I love you, Carol.

Toby, hey. Hello.

You seen what's happened

to Carol's car? Yeah, LOL.

Look, I'm sorry about yesterday.

Something important came up.

Yeah, well, we've all got

important stuff going on, Abby.

Wow, someone's sensitive.

Maybe because I let people down

so I could be stood up in

the toilet like a dickhead.

Well, it's simple, don't let

people down for a quickie.

Well, I thought it was

more than just a quick

I mean, yeah.

I guess I did.

I don't know why.

Not like it would

have been worth it.

KNOCKING Yeah? Ah.

Settling in to your new office?

Mistress. Oh, stop it.

You can call me Carol.

We missed you over the holidays.

Not so much as a phone call.

I know. We got stuck in a tiny,

tiny village north of Bordeaux.

Terrible phone signals.

Just a bit of homework

to take to Rupert.

Carol

Rupert and I are not really

Rupert is struggling, Florence.

He's not doing particularly

well at the moment and

..I just need you

to be there for him.

What have you been

saying to people?

He's on work experience.

Oh, my star head girl.

BOTH: Mwah!

You still thinking about

Cambridge summer school?

Yes, mistress. Carol.

Well, do come and find me

when you need a reference.

That's an order.

Next time, I won't

be giving it back.

PHONE BUZZES

Man like J. Bro,

where have you been?

Now, look, man, you know I wouldn't

have disappeared unless I had to.

I'll explain everything

when I get to you.

You're mad right now.

Wait, what? You're coming here?

Right, look, J, I've

got to go, yeah?

In a bit.

Malachi.

Hi, J. Sorry for rocking

up like this, bro.

It's calm.

You good? Always.

What are you doing here?

Let's talk about

it inside, innit?

Welcome, everyone.

Places, places, big smiles!

Less teeth. Much less teeth.

They are on to me, man.

I've just got to lay low

elsewhere, you hear me?

Move, bruv!

Cryyyy.

Dev is cool. I just don't think

she's being completely honest.

You know it's OK just to

tell her you like her. Who?

You lot just love playing

games with each other.

Aaah!

I thought you were so over him.

I think he still likes me.

Well, this is exciting.

I'll tell your father to

book you a ticket to Lagos.

I'm trying, Jaheim. Mother's

intuition finally kicked in?

Can anybody help me?

This was a warning.