Hmm.
Is life boring?
-Dull?
-Uh...
Gray? Banal?
Every day...
so small?
Have you simply seen it all?
Well then, roll up!
Roll up!
Brave souls of...
circus loving...
Fresh from our sellout
world tour.
The most stomach-churning,
brain-blowing,
eyeball-bursting show on Earth!
-Are you ready for monsters?
-Monster, monster
-Do you have the guts?
-Do you have the guts?
-Are you ready for monsters?
-Monsters
Aren't you scared
you'll go nuts?
Think you'll go nuts?
Are you ready for monsters
that'll drive you insane?
That'll turn your legs
to jelly
And then explode your brain?
Your ears will pop,
your heart will stop
But still they entertain!
Your eyes will melt
down to your bowels
But sing right through
the pain!
Are you ready for monsters?
Then, behold!
Dr. Horatio Dislocation!
The Human Knot!
Stupid leg!
Oh... that hurts.
Brace your breeches for
Mademoiselle Miranda Cassandra!
She sees your future!
I see!
Heart disease. Stroke.
Kidney failure.
Oh, drowning.
Well done!
And now,
Taj and Tej,
the titanium twins!
They walk
over burning, broken glass!
Oh, cruel, cruel nature!
Come closer if you can stand it!
Just sixpence a stare!
But try not
to be sick on my shoes.
-I'm stuck!
-My contact lens!
You owe me three months' wages!
I'm a failure.
I'm broke.
A lifelong career in the scaring
people business ends here.
Why can't I have a hit?
Not scary enough.
People around here
are already frightened
of something much scarier.
Scarier?
What could possibly be scarier?
Castle Grotteskew.
No human has
ever set foot there.
For none would return alive.
They say there's
monsters in there.
Arabella!
Come inside, right now!
Oh, Nan!
Live! Live! Live!
You shall be
my greatest creation ever!
It's-- it's not ready.
Just need another moment here.
Initiate the sequence.
I need the tongs.
No, no, the electrodes.
Professor!
You'll overload the system.
Uh...
And now engage the animator.
It's rusted!
Rusted?
The animator!
Ooh. It's going to explode!
Ooh! It's going to explode.
It's not fair!
Engage the--
Oh!
Almost Life.
Almost Life.
-We did it!
-I did it!
Welcome to Almost Life.
Registered trademark,
patents pending.
Ooh!
Gosh, quite high.
Okay, a little bit--
Hmm?
Oh! Look at that.
Oh! Top notch.
Cheese!
My greatest crea-- ooh!
No, no, no. Wait.
Oh, I say. Magnificent!
You shall be
my greatest creation ever!
Mwah!
Welcome to Almost Life.
Registered trademark,
patents pending.
You may be feeling some side
effects, including dizziness,
faulty vision,
itching, constipation,
restless legs,
uncontrollable spasms,
and a tendency
to monster rampages.
Avoid swimming, driving,
or operating heavy machinery.
Uh?
You may want to close your eye.
Huh?
Oh.
Huh.
Uh...
Oh!
Welcome to Castle Grotteskew.
Oh. Mm...
Uh?
Oh.
Almost Life
in Castle Grotteskew.
An introduction.
You are a monster.
You want to be monstrous.
It's in your nature.
But monstrousness is dangerous.
Monstrousness makes noise.
Monstrousness
attracts attention.
Below the castle is a town.
No monster
has ever set foot there,
for none would return alive.
Know what townsfolk hate?
Monsters.
Too much monstrousness,
and the townsfolk
will form an angry mob,
storm the castle
and burn it to the ground.
Any monstrousness, be it just
the smallest howl...
...will mean angry mobs,
castle storming,
and burning to the ground.
You are a monster.
You want to be monstrous?
Don't.
Stay hidden.
Stay quiet.
Stay safe.
Feel like any
more monster rampages?
No!
Oh! Are you an angry mob?
Are you going
to burn me to the ground?
Whoa!
-No.
-Oh, phew!
That was close.
This way.
Whoa.
Is this a castle?
Oh! I've never been in a castle.
To be honest, I can't
remember having been anywhere.
That's normal when
you're working to Almost Life.
I'll show you around.
Oh, yes.
A tour of the castle.
I love tours almost
as much as I love castles.
At least I think I do.
We live in a castle
We live
in a castle
We, me and you,
we both live in a castle
We live in a castle,
a very big castle
You're my bestest
best friend ever.
I knew that as soon as
you said you weren't going to
burn me to the ground,
which is really weird,
because I don't even
know your name.
-Stitch Head.
-And if you don't tell me,
I'm going to have to call you...
Stitch Head or something.
-Stitch Head.
-Come to think of it,
I don't even know my own name.
-Stitch Head.
-No.
It would be very confusing if
we're both called Stitch Head.
My name is Stitch Head.
I knew you'd like it.
Pleased to meet you,
Stitch Head.
My name is...
Oh.
Gordon, Graham, Garin, Gary,
Gazza, Gonzo,
Garfield, Galahad...
Gwyneth?
Golgogot, Gorgonzola...
Master dungeon
with en suite latrine.
-This is where you sleep.
-Oh.
Help!
We're going to be eaten.
I don't want to be eaten.
I'm only...
23 minutes old.
This is... Creature.
Creature? Oh.
-Creature.
-Creature.
These are the monsters.
Oi.
So not an angry mob?
An angry mob?!
No. Not an angry mob.
Right-o.
Bedtime, everyone.
The sun'll be up soon.
Has anyone seen my light?
Story.
"And so, by staying
quiet and out of sight,
"the monsters were safe.
"And the angry mob never came
"to burn their castle
to the ground.
And that's how they almost
lived happily ever after."
Sleep tight.
-Stitch Head?
-Yes?
Um...
Where do I come from?
Are there, uh...
mummy monsters and daddy
monsters, and do they, uh...
Uh...
You don't believe that, do you?
I guess you're
old enough to know.
48 minutes.
Well, what's
the first thing you remember?
Oof, so long ago.
A laboratory.
A mad laboratory.
Oh! The maddest mad
laboratory I've ever seen.
I think.
And who was in it?
You!
Apart from me.
A mad professor!
The mad professor.
He made you.
He awoke you to Almost Life.
You and all
the other monsters here.
All of them?
Even... you?
I...
I was the professor's
very first creation.
Wow! The very first!
Hey, I bet
the professor totally loves you!
Well, actually, the professor--
He's very busy, with all
his patents pending and so on.
I'm not even sure
he knows who I am.
But... but that's sad.
I feel sad.
It doesn't feel nice.
Well, good night.
Night. Night.
Sleep tight, Stitch Head.
All right, Stitch Head.
We love you, Stitch Head!
It's very good.
Oh, yes.
Very good, one of my best.
Oh!
Good night, Professor.
What if the knees
were connected to the ears?
Yes!
No. No, no, no, no.
Oops, this is a bit of an ankle.
That's all it is.
That's all it is.
It's not a problem.
It's an opportunity, so...
No--
Bong!
What's that, Stitch Head?
It's coming from the great door!
-There's someone there!
-Someone outside!
Oh, that's nice.
No, it's not!
-No one ever comes!
-Ever!
Not in any of our almost lives!
It's here!
What?
An angry...
Just everyone stay calm.
...mob.
No!
Shh! No noise. Remember?
Oh, right.
My bad.
Mm?
And good morning to you!
Fulbert Freakfinder
at your service
with my traveling carnival
of unnatural wonders,
of which you have
undoubtedly heard!
Never has a sight
more terrifying
been seen by a human eye.
No visitors.
Oh.
Now I know
people could be cruel.
Why, as even folks down
in Guggers Munchkin says,
there's a monster
in this here castle!
But as I always say,
one person's monster
is another's poor,
misunderstood creature,
cursed by cruel fate to look
just a teeny weeny bit...
...odd!
Let them down, good.
Come on!
And one person's
hideous disfigurement
is another man's
business opportunity!
And so I was wondering...
...whether we could
have a chat...
...about careers
in the entertainment industry!
Boss! It hurts!
Shh! It's coming!
Ooh, it's never gonna work!
Please hurry up!
My groin!
Ow!
Quiet!
Towards the walls!
Oh, there you are, my dear.
Other way! Other way!
Ah! Lovely day for it!
No, no, left!
My left! The other left!
Coming!
Gah!
I say...
Wouldn't mind giving me a bit
of a hand, would you?
No visitors.
Ah! Um... sorry?
No visitors.
Please, excuse me.
It's me. Not you!
Speak it your way!
No visitors.
But my dear boy...
You're...
hideous!
They'd... love you!
Love you!
I told you so!
Love you!
Love you!
Doesn't hurt!
I'm fine!
Ow...
Love you...
And? Was it an angry mob?
Did they want to
burn down the castle?
Are we all gonna die?!
No. No, they'd... love me.
I mean, just go back to bed.
There's something
I need to check.
Oof!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
-You did it!
-Did what?
Oh, wait till
the professor finds out!
He's gonna really love you now!
Live, live!
You shall be
my greatest creation ever!
-See? He's busy.
-So what?
You saved the castle!
He won't pay attention.
All right. I've got a plan.
Don't worry.
I've put all
my brainpower into it.
Oh.
I call it...
Dingle-Dangle!
Transformers!
-A simple spanner.
-Professor!
It's Stitch Head!
-Electrodes!
-Your first ever creation!
He loves you!
Initiate the sequence. Ah!
And now, engage the animator!
Just talk to him!
Whoa!
Oh!
Oh...
Professor?
Oh, my goodness.
You?
There was a man,
at the gate, and...
and he wanted me
to join the circus.
And he said
people would love me.
He said people would
love me, but I said no.
And I made him go away.
Because you need me here, right?
But I had no idea.
I never imagined.
You shall be
my greatest creation ever!
And I really mean it this time.
Oh, you are a beauty,
aren't you?
Oh!
Stitch Head! The monster!
He's going on a monster rampage!
That's what usually happens.
Someone has to stop it before
he destroys the whole castle!
I'd better show you how, then.
Me?
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!
Ha! Oh!
Welcome to Almost Life.
Registered trademark.
Patents pending.
-Oh, no!
-You may be feeling...
You may be feeling...
Disorientation, restless leg--
-Mirror.
-Dizziness? Ow.
-Trapdoor.
-Headaches? Ow!
Monster wash.
The controls are pretty obvious.
They are?
Oh, help!
Stitch Head!
Little--
Stitch-- Stitch Head...
Make sure they see the film.
And don't forget to rewind.
You are a monster.
You want to be monstrous.
But monstrousness is dangerous.
Monstrousness makes noise.
Monstrousness attracts
attention.
They'll love you!
I'm here! This way!
I want to come with you!
Come on board, my boy!
Take my hand!
Up, Mimi, up!
-Stitch Head!
-Jump!
Mm?
Oh!
Stitch Head!
Oh, whoa!
Mama!
So predictable.
Ah!
-Ah!
-Stitch Head!
How's that?
No!
Whoa!
-Oh!
-Don't look!
No!
-Uh...
-Oh!
-Hey!
-Bang on!
Well done!
More power!
I'm giving her all she's got!
Uh...
You have to let go.
No.
-It's bedtime!
-The sun is coming up!
And Stitch Head isn't here!
No!
We don't know what to do!
And so, by staying quiet,
and out of sight,
the monsters were safe.
But then,
Stitch Head left for the town.
So now,
it's only a matter of time
before the angry mob comes to
burn their castle to the ground.
And then they won't almost live
happily ever after, ever again.
Sorry.
So, are we just meant
to huddle here
clutching each other
in pure terror?
Um, yeah?
Good plan.
Don't let anybody see him.
We'll have none of that.
But they came from the castle.
And they've
got someone with them.
Nothing good
can come from the castle.
It's full of monsters.
Oh, give me those.
Maybe they're friendly!
Oh, that's what
they want you to think.
They want you to lower
your guard for just one minute,
and then, boom!
They'll be in. Your. Brain!
All for your own protection.
But they think it's for theirs,
you see?
Show business, my boy.
Don't worry.
They'll love you.
Good sir, would you not care
to see something horrific?
Something to steal your sanity
and your bladder control?
-Mm-mm.
-Fair lady!
So, how does profit share
actually work?
We'll never make it back.
It doesn't count if you predict
things that are obvious.
Would you not care to blight
your lovely eyes forever
with one brief glimpse
of a thing
most horrid and foul?
All my savings
went into that balloon.
All of our savings!
I'll make it cheaper,
just for you.
-Sixpence.
-Get off me.
Tuppence?
All right, a penny.
That's my final offer.
Why should I?
Why? Why?
Because it's from the castle.
The... castle?
That castle?
Castle...
Grotteskew?
The very same.
-I can't sleep.
-I'm scared.
-Turn the light on.
-It is on.
You've got your eyes shut.
Where's Stitch Head?
This is all my fault.
I did the Dingle-Dangle
and that's why Stitch Head left.
So I must go down to
the town and rescue him.
But the townsfolk!
The angry mob!
Aren't you scared?
Nope.
Well, yes.
But Stitch Head is
my bestest best friend ever
and rescuing is
what best friends do.
Right, showtime!
But, I...
I look...
Ready to go?
Where's the show?
They'll scream.
And that's the idea!
The artist...
holds a mirror up to beauty.
Someone's going to
get impatient out here.
The public doesn't
even stop to glance.
Have you got
the monster in there or not?
But...
Show them
something frightful
The reaction's
quite delightful
I want my money back!
They'll be queuing
for an eyeful
And they'll
Scream
You can't keep me here
against my will.
Make 'em scream
Make 'em
scream
Oh, nothing quite delivers
Like the good
old-fashioned shivers
Make 'em scream
Make 'em
scream
If you want them all
to love you
Make 'em scream
Make 'em
scream
Make 'em scream
Make 'em choke,
make 'em gag
And success is in the bag
There's nothing quite
as gorgeous
As an audience
that's nauseous
If you want them all
to love you
Make 'em scream
Wake their
Primitive responses from deep
down in their unconscious
Outrage, sicken
and disgust 'em
Gross 'em out
and maladjust 'em
Break all their taboos and
you'll make the evening news
With rave reviews,
a million views
And make 'em scream
Make 'em scream
Make 'em
scream
Give 'em terror,
give 'em horror
Give 'em Sodom and Gomorrah
Make 'em jump,
make 'em spook
If you can,
then make 'em puke
If you want them all
to love you
Make 'em
Scream
Make 'em scream!
Was that all part of the show?
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
We're just warming up.
But what am I meant to do?
-Roar!
-Do a handstand!
Wave your arms.
From the back of the throat.
Oh, wave your legs.
And then do another handstand.
Let your eyes reflect the sheer
futility of mortal existence.
Nothing.
Just be yourself.
Get in here!
Prepare for the worst!
The ghastly, the grotesque,
the Ghoul of Grotteskew!
Ladies, we've got a winner.
Get a mop, Horace.
But what will you do if
a human sees you?
-Run away!
-Dig a hole!
-Curl into a ball.
-Yes!
No, I have a plan.
Not to be noticed in
the first place.
Ooh.
I will flit, catlike,
from one shadow to the next.
Invisible, silent, unseen.
He's my hero.
Are you ready for the equipment?
Ready.
Wait!
Wash bag.
And the camouflage.
Any last words?
I will return with Stitch Head,
or I will not return at all.
Sorry, what?
I will return with Stitch Head,
or I will not return at all.
No, sorry,
not quite catching that.
I will return with--
Just open the gate, Steve.
So brave.
Very brave.
Very, very brave.
He's toast.
Yeah, doesn't stand a chance.
Is it okay if
we shut the gate now
before an angry mob comes in?
Hi-ya.
Hi-ya!
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Whoa!
Hmm. Ah.
The Ghoul of Grotteskew!
Next!
And the next, please.
Arabella,
you are not seeing that.
Oh, Nan!
The Ghoul of Grotteskew.
A shilling.
Ticket, please.
Enjoy the show.
Next, please.
The Ghoul of Grotteskew.
And the next, please.
Scuse me.
-Ticket, please.
-Arabella!
Next, please.
-Ticket.
-The Ghoul.
Next, please.
Ticket.
Next, please.
Arabella?
-Nan...
-The Ghoul.
Arabella!
Grotteskew!
-Next.
-Ticket.
Oh.
Scuse me, boss.
Next!
You can't frighten me.
Nothing frightens me.
No, sir.
Of course not, sir.
High-five.
Don't forget to leave a review!
Oh, you beast.
Ooh.
Awoo.
Arr.
Ta-da.
Hey.
Next! Next! Next!
Next! Next!
Next!
That's it. Last one.
Stitch Head,
come on out, my lad.
They love you.
Just like I said.
We've got a hit!
Mwah!
I knew you'd be a star!
Wanna work out sometime?
No, he's working out with me.
Arabella.
No going out.
The monster's frightful,
I tell you.
Frightful!
Are you ready for monsters?
Shh...
It's okay, Buster.
Quiet. Shh-shh-shh.
Shh.
Good doggie.
It's occupied.
Go away!
Are you ready for monsters?
I let myself in.
That's not weird, is it?
Lolly? I licked it.
That is weird.
Shh.
Keep quiet or we're
both completely dead.
Unless you're dead already,
I suppose.
'Cause the Ghoul of Grotteskew
makes you sound like a ghost,
but you don't look like
a ghost at all.
Ooh.
What's your real name?
Or do they just call you
something like "Stitch Head"?
How did you know?
Er, so obvious.
Arabella.
You okay?
Don't be scared.
Aren't you scared?
Of course not.
Being scared is stupid.
Then why are you here?
I have questions.
Your name.
We did that.
How old are you?
Who created you?
Why have you come
from the castle, and...
Don't you miss
the other monsters?
How do you know about...
I mean, what other monsters?
And how do you know
about them if they exist?
Which they don't.
So! Rise and shine, my boy!
We're going to make it bigger,
better, scarier than--
What's that?
No!
No peeking without paying!
That's a shilling!
Now!
Keep the change.
Right, that's it!
Wait. You haven't screamed.
Ah.
Freak!
Ooh.
Rehearsal. Private.
So, our next show, a spectacular
to set the world alight.
And what will you do?
Just be myself.
What?
The same thing as the last show?
I thought they loved me.
They did. Loved.
Loved-d-d. "D-d-d."
Past tense.
Just because they
loved you yesterday
doesn't mean that
they'll love you again tomorrow,
just like that.
Love has to be earned.
Uh, how?
You have to give them more.
Are you ready for monsters?
-For a freakish romance?
-For a freakish romance?
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
But you might
poop your pants?
Poop your pants
Are you ready for monsters?
Prepare to be terrified...
...by the Ghoul of Grotteskew.
But you can
call him "Stitch Head."
Your cue...
See, your brain blows up
when you see me close up
Lock your kids inside,
this is for the grown-ups
I'm so k*ller, I'm so creepy,
turn you paler than tzatziki
Don't you know
they call me Stitch Head?
'Cause I scare myself
to pieces
When I say "Stitch,"
you say "Head"
-Stitch.
-Head!
-Stitch!
-Head!
Come on, when I say "Stitch,"
you say "Head"!
-Stitch! Stitch!
-Head! Head!
Made of bodies
long since dead
-Stitch! Stitch!
-Head! Head!
My limbs are hanging
by a thread
-Stitch! Stitch!
-Head! Head!
So always check
beneath your bed
-It's Stitch Head!
-So are you hot for monsters?
-We'll sizzle your tongue.
-Come on in and sneak a peek.
But not for too long.
Are you hungry for monsters?
Table for one?
Then get ready to freak!
Are you ready for monsters?
Stitch Head T-shirts, posters,
signed postcards, mugs,
lunchboxes and commemorative
Stitch Head tea towels
are available here!
All at a very reasonable price!
Marvelous, my boy, marvelous!
Carry on like this, and
one day all this will be yours!
-What, us too?
-You're not selling me again!
Three for the price of two
only on the pajama sets,
you pea brain!
Stitch Head!
Stitch Head!
And now, my boy, look at that!
Ta-da! Do you see?
Yours, all yours!
Well, technically,
it's hire purchase, but--
Ow.
Nothing is too good for my
Stitch Head, that's what I say!
But, um, stay away
from the windows, hmm?
No pictures unless
they're paying, right?
Right.
And remember, no visitors.
Course not.
Enjoy.
What do I always say?
We'll get paid next week?
No! Keep your eyes peeled!
No one goes in or out
without my say-so!
No, no, no, no!
Profit share means--
And who pays for the merch?
Do you think I get 10,000
Stitch Head pajama sets
for free?
I have overheads!
Do you even know
what overheads are?
So, did you like the show?
They loved me, right?
You think?
You're hurt.
Want a Stitch Head
bottle opener?
Who needs
a Stitch Head bottle opener?
I know, but they're buying them
just because they have
my face on 'em.
If that's not love...
what is?
I don't know.
Something like--
Rescue! Ha-ha!
Thank goodness you're alone!
-I--
-Hello!
-Human!
-Shh!
-What was that?
-Like I said, an overhead.
That's worth a tenner at least.
-Boy!
-Quick!
-Hide!
-What about your friend?
In here.
Seriously?
What's wrong with it?
Is someone in there?
No, it's just me.
Do I need to be
more frightening?
Stitch Head, watch out!
Humans!
-Everywhere!
-What was that?
Ah! Nothing!
Pleased to meet you.
-Get back!
-No visitors!
No one in here!
-Oh!
-Oops.
Break it down, boys!
Hmm.
What?
What was that noise?
Oh, just working
on my monstrousness.
Any good?
Yes. No.
Very good.
Good night.
No visitors.
I wouldn't dream of it.
Hmm.
Hey!
Nice cupboard.
Human!
It... touched me!
So, what's the plan?
You want fame,
fortune, girlfriends?
Then guard that caravan.
Hmm.
Ooh.
Hmm.
Get away!
Get away, get away, get away!
What are you doing?
Quick! Now!
Push her out the door!
What? No!
Go monsters!
Uh...
Uh...
Uh-oh.
Yeah!
Hmm?
Oh.
Stay dignified.
We could be poor, but happy.
We lost the caravan.
Watch out!
Careful!
She's dangerous.
Any minute she'll form
an angry mob!
It isn't true.
I got it wrong.
Humans don't form angry mobs.
Humans love me.
But I've come to rescue you.
I know.
And thank you.
But I don't want to be rescued.
But what about all the monsters?
Don't you think it's time they
learnt to look after themselves?
And... what about me?
You love castles, remember?
Goodbye.
Could you take me back
to the circus, please?
No following.
Goodbye.
Bestest best friend.
-Stitch Head?
-Stitch Head?
Stitch Head?
-Sign this, please!
-Stitch Head!
I want a selfie!
I love your work so much.
Oh, Stitch Head,
I'm your biggest fan!
He's so dreamy!
-Stitch Head!
-Stitch Head!
Stitch Head!
Come with me.
There's something
you need to see.
But my fans...
Arabella?
-Shh.
-You're staying in.
The monster's on the streets.
You know what I told you?
If he sees you, he'll eat you!
Right, I'm off
to get an autograph.
Hmm.
How did you...
I sneak out and I peek.
It's completely not allowed.
Are they any good?
Well, Ermintrude's
only got six legs.
And Shelley's
more orange than brown.
But yes, they're good.
Very good.
And who's that, then?
Oh, that's just Creature.
Came to rescue you?
He thinks he's
my bestest best friend ever.
And is he?
He doesn't understand.
People love me.
Really?
I love you, Stitch Head!
Stitch Head!
Looks like it to me.
Artistes.
The talent.
Ha!
Always the same.
However good the trailer is,
it's never enough.
Fine.
Trash the trailer.
Go it on your own.
Have your "solo career"!
You think you'd do it
better without me?
Well, just you wait and see.
I made you.
I took you in.
I treated you like my own child!
And this is how you thank me?
He could come to me
on bended knee!
I wouldn't take him back
in a thousand years.
Shh.
You've come back?
And you'll play the next show?
Mm.
The most mind-blowing,
stomach-churning,
trouser-messing show on Earth?
Yes!
We're gonna be rich!
I'll make you famous like
you'd never believe!
Before an audience of thousands!
A show that redefines
the limits of the monstrous,
the bizarre,
and the grotesque.
Tonight, Rubbers Duggin.
Tomorrow,
the capitals of the world!
Playing for the great and
the good, the kings and queens,
for adoring millions!
They are going to love you!
Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the show that
will braise your brain,
gut your stomach,
and burst your bladder.
Are you ready to confront
your deepest fears?
-Yes!
-Ready to plunge
into the black abyss of horror
that is the unknown?
Yes!
Are you ready for monsters?
Then behold a dramatic
reconstruction
in painstaking historic detail.
The capture of
the Ghoul of Grotteskew.
Behold above the castle grim,
and there behind its windows dim
there lurks and howls
in primitive sin
the gruesome
Ghoul of Grotteskew.
See his mouth
besmirched with blood.
There remains no doubt
of children good
who simply had not understood
in Grotteskew, do not set foot.
It's not a friendly
neighborhood.
Hmm.
But lo, here comes a hero brave,
Fulbert Freakfinder,
here to save
this wretched beast from
the living grave
that is the Castle Grotteskew.
-"Never."
-Never!
But Fulbert, hero unafraid,
knows this savage must be saved.
Put on display,
put on the stage,
not rot in Castle Grotteskew.
Oh, he's so dreamy.
He takes his lasso,
throws it long,
he snares the Ghoul,
but forces strong
hold back the beast.
It's all gone wrong!
-Huh?
-"Chain hands now."
The beast resists,
the beast fights back.
And one by one,
his stitches snap.
Help.
You say,
"No, no! I will not go!"
No, no! Ow!
No!
-Don't you think we should--
-No, he's fine.
Oh.
Hold on, lad, they're loving it.
Jump, Mimi!
No!
After a brief interval in which
you are welcome to purchase
our attractively priced
refreshments in the foyer,
you shall witness how I,
Fulbert Freakfinder,
sew Stitch Head back together.
But first,
prepare for churned stomachs,
exploded minds
and whittled seats
as Stitch Head's stitches
are torn apart!
No!
No!
No!
Monster!
Humans!
-Stitch Head!
-Creature!
Oh!
Stitch Head!
This way! Go!
Ah!
Humans!
Arabella!
You know that thing?
Yes!
He is a creature of Grotteskew!
And he's Stitch Head's
bestest friend!
And he's come to rescue him
and take him back to Grotteskew
where he and all
the other monsters are safe!
"Other monsters"?
Yes! They've all been awoken
to Almost Life
by the Mad Professor,
but they all live peacefully
in the castle, and there's
nothing you can do about it!
Boss! The circus!
The caravans!
The balloon!
Forget about all that.
We've just landed the jackpot!
What about Arabella?
She's a human!
What does she need
to be afraid of?
The castle's that way!
But you don't want
to go back to the castle.
The monsters have
to look after themselves!
I think I changed my mind.
You did?
On balance,
this does feel better.
People of Guggers Nuffin!
People of Duffers Noggin!
Oi!
You are afraid.
-Deeply afraid!
-I am.
But the time has come
to throw off your fear.
Too long have
you been intimidated!
Too long have
you trembled in terror!
Too long have you lived
in the shadow...
of monstrosity!
But now,
the abominations of Grotteskew
have gone too far.
They have crossed a line!
They have kidnapped
a little girl.
Oh.
Arabella!
But there is still a chance
that she still lives!
Up there!
In Castle Grotteskew!
People of...
...whatever this place
is called.
The time has come!
The time to form an angry mob!
Off you go then.
You are mean!
You are evil! You--
And you are very inconvenient.
-Back in the sack, boys.
-Come here.
But isn't it a bit off?
Oh, don't be
such moaning Minnies.
The castle is full of monsters,
and you know what monsters mean?
Uh...
Money, you morons!
Monsters mean money!
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
These woods are very dark.
It's Creature!
And he has got Stitch Head!
He has rescued Stitch Head!
Open the gates!
Friend!
We made it!
-You did it!
-You did it!
And, you didn't die!
Wow!
I'm sorry.
I should never
have left the castle.
Why did you go, Stitch Head?
I just wanted to be loved.
But we love you.
We always loved you!
Exactly!
You're my bestest best friend,
remember?
Aw.
So cute.
Don't want to interrupt
if you're having
a moment here, but, um...
Burn the castle!
An angry mob!
Close the gates!
-Run away!
-Run away!
-Huh?
-Run away!
Attack!
Forward!
Stop!
Huh?
We are monsters.
And if I learnt
anything down in that town,
it's that people
are afraid of monsters.
Don't you mean that
the other way around?
No!
If humans were afraid of me,
how are they going
to react to Alice?
Huh?
Aw.
Well, I find that
rather insensitive.
This is no time
for hurt feelings!
This is time to let out
your monstrousness!
What monstrousness?
You are monsters!
You want to be monstrous.
It's in your nature!
Huh?
Just be whoever you'd be
if you weren't afraid!
But Stitch Head.
We are afraid!
Monsters!
-Don't be frightened!
-Run away!
Oh?
Ah.
Ooh! I love me when I'm angry!
Whoa.
We've got you now!
Let's finish this.
Ah!
Huh?
Ah.
Oh.
It's monster time.
This is fun!
Can't we just go back
to the old show?
Never, you losers! Sack!
Boss, you're never
gonna catch monsters like that.
I don't need monsters.
Just like I don't need you!
All I need is the monster-maker.
-Help!
-Oh, don't be such a baby.
Freeze!
Or I'll bite his ear off!
Wait a minute!
I thought you'd been kidnapped
by this lot.
By the monsters? Pah!
We can explain.
Can we?
Mm-hmm.
Live! Live!
You will be
my greatest creation ever!
What?
What on earth are you doing?
You can't walk into a-- Oh?
Professor? Fulbert Freakfinder,
your greatest fan.
And your new employer!
Not so fast, Freakfinder!
You?
Dingle-Dangle!
You've got talent, Stitch Head.
Come with me!
Never!
Eek!
The Professor never loved you.
Or you'd never have left
the castle, would you?
No!
Pull!
Whoa!
He's getting away!
Pull harder!
Harder!
Think what you're giving up,
Stitch Head.
A new monster each week!
To do with as we please!
Harder!
But, Stitch Head!
Your stitches!
Audiences would love us!
That's not love!
Then what is?
Harder!
Yes!
Oh.
So, you see, I wasn't
kidnapped by the monsters,
I was kidnapped by the Freaks!
We-- Er-- Yeah.
Our bad.
I feel very awkward.
So? What are you
going to do now?
Run away?
-Hide?
-Blame somebody else?
No! You are going to say sorry!
Now!
Oh.
Right.
Sorry about the whole
angry mob thing.
Oh, it's fine.
Don't mention it.
Everyone makes mistakes.
And shake hands!
Like you mean it!
So, where did that Freakfinder
get to, then?
I'm all out of love
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right
Believing for so long
I'm all out of love
What am I without you?
I can't be too late
I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right
Believing for so long
I'm all out of love
What am I without you?
I can't be too late
I know I was so wrong
I'm all out of love
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right
Believing for so long
I'm all out of love
I'm so lost without you
I know you were right.
Huh. Fair enough.
You will always be...
...my bestest best friend.
Stitch Head.
Stitch Head?
Stitch Head.
Yes. Yes.
I called you Stitch Head.
And you called me Tiny.
Geoff.
Ermintrude.
Mary.
Shelley.
Barney.
-Woodlouse.
-Woodlouse.
Pigbutt.
Skaterdog?
Frank?
Rhinodino?
Octochicken?
-Owggagoffakkookkk.
-Oh.
And Steve.
Hello.
And this is Creature.
You...
...made us.
I... I did.
And I made Stitch Head.
Look at the state of him!
This won't do at all.
Pass me needle and thread.
I'll need the number five.
And hurry up.
We haven't got all day.
You...
...were my very first creation.
Did you hear that, Stitch Head?
He said you...
I know. And you...
are my bestest best friend ever.
Are you ready for monsters?
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
Baby, you got the guts?
You got the guts
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
Say you rolling with us
Rolling with us
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
We can show you the moves
Show you the moves
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
'Cause we scared of you too
Scared of you too
Ey, move, move, move.
Watch out, it's me,
it's Tiny, eh!
We nah wan fi bother you
We nah wan fi clobber you
Come and do an interview
You gon' see
We're super cool
We're the ones
that's scared of you
We'll put on our dinner suit
Yeah, we're vegan,
what are you
I'm hungry,
can we order food
All we wanna do
is play play
Our castle's
just a little gray gray
Can I get a little hey hey
'Cause we can
live together, baby
Hold on, hold on.
Yo, yo. Where's Tiny at?
-Where's Tiny at?
-Right here. Eh!
Game over, game over,
freaky little takeover
Wait, hold up, Tej gonna
play it like he's Beethoven
You know and they know
we ain't gotta say so
When croc take a poop
Ooh, it's bigger than
a Range Rover
We ain't gotta fight now
Different is the new black
I'm-a tell you right now
I'm anxious,
where's my Prozac?
If you got a tough rash
or you've got a moustache
Everyone's a monster
and we love it
Are you ready for monsters?
Baby, you got the guts?
Baby, you got the guts?
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
Say you rolling with us
Say you rolling with us
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
We can show you the moves
Show you the moves
Are you ready for monsters?
Monster, monster
'Cause we scared of you too
We're scared of you too
Are you ready for monsters?
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey, DJ
Monster, monster
Monster, monster
M-M-Monster, mon
Mon-Monster
What?
Huh
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Stitch Head (2025)
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