01x05 - Paper Route

[bunniefuu]

Good morning. Morning.

Morning, morning.

Wait a minute. What are you guys wearing?

Well, I'm just for rain. I'm dressed for

snow. I'm also wearing a funny costume.

Didn't anybody check the weather today? I

didn't. I just made an educated guess.

I'm a Harvard man. How are we supposed to

know what the weather's gonna be? The

paperboys here. We can check the weather

in the newspaper.

Dude, hey, brought money. No, no, this

is my turf. Hey, what are you

going to do to my neighbor boy

alone?Alright, fine. You win this round.

Kevin, this isn't over. We'll get you if

you lay so much as a finger on him. We'll

get you, my friend. I promise you this.

Yeah, Whatever, man. Come on, let's move.

You guys saved my life. We totally stood

up to those bullies. I have had such

an adrenaline rush right now feel

invincible. I just wanna kick some ****

man away little bit.

Oh my God, I was so scared. I was shaking

like a leaf. Could you see? Oh my God,

you were so so. You were brave. Ohh,

don't you want that? You were so brave.

Morning, morning.

You could fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me. Let's go

get the newspaper and check the weather.

Ohh, no, that's Kevin, our paper boy.

Tell me.

Hey, hey, somebody come on, you guys.

Let's go change our clothes, eat

breakfast, then go help Kevin.

Right. He came to these guys, They're

getting away. Get the car.

Go.

What the hell was that?Said

Kevin. What are we going to do? Did he

see it was awesome? I think so. What

should we do?Drive,

drive, drive.

Oh, oh, my leg. Somebody please

help me. Please. Somebody help me.

My leg. I think it's both.

Please.

So. So

quite a day today, huh?

Too funny? Yeah.

Too funny.

Ohh, help me, I'm hurt. Drive away,

I drive away.

These these potatoes are delicious,

Michael.

Are you OK? Yeah, I'm. I'm

fine. I just thought I saw

a. A potato? I

thought I saw a potato, but could

somebody please pass the gravy?

I can't take this anymore to k*ll. It's

k*lling me. We've got to go. Find

Kevin.

Come on, man. I'm going to come back.

Come on.

Hanging a monkey. Hey, guys, what are

you doing here? Well, we sort of

heard what happened. Yeah. Yeah, we got

you a little get well present we.

We got you a harpsichord, Kevin. Ohh. Do

you love it, Kevin? Please say you love

it. It's nice, but I don't know how

to play the piano. OK, Kevin, it's not

a piano. It's hard to. Ohh wow,

do you have any idea how many

skilled artisans it took?There's

so many played them in US. Play him

in your head. This is wonderful. It's

very melodic.

Look at that tonality, Kevin.

It's great, but.

But that won't help me get to college.

That's the only reason I took this paper

out, to get enough money to get to

college one day. I mean, who would hit

someone and then just take off like that?

Yeah. 3 jerks.

That's Kevin. We did it. We hit you. We

want to make it up to you, Kevin. We'll

do anything to make it up to you. Well,

could you take off my paper onto my leg

heels? Ohh, yeah.

Awkward moment alert.

Thanks, Kev. In the word

toffee. No. Yeah. Wow. OK.

You guys, I'm really glad we decided to

change our mind about taking over Kevin's

paper route. But I still don't understand

why we have to meet this Fabricio guy. So

he's the boss. It's important that we

make a good impression. Yeah. What do you

think? They just give our paper routes to

anybody who wants 1. Kind of.

Come in, come in, come in, come in. Hey,

you're the ones that called about the

people around town. Who are guys a little

old to be paper boys, don't you think?

Well. There

was an elephant in the room.

You have a sense of humor that's good. If

we have the opportunity to work together,

I think you'll find I'm also able to

laugh at myself. So this is my resume, my

greatest strengths. I'm a people person.

I love people. My greatest weakness,

sometimes I care too much, Is that the

weakness of Mr. Fabritio? I'm not going

to be around the Bush. We're good, OK?

I'm damn good and expect to be

compensated for hey.

Have you ever done that? Yes, I have. I'm

not going to lie to you, but I don't like

it. I don't like it. Now I'll pee in a

cup if I have to. I mean, where do I see

myself in five years? Management,

Frankly. I mean, someday I won't have

your job. I mean, maybe as a colleague.

Not. Oh, God. What's this? It's one hand.

What's this hand? You need me. Jim Jones

Like. Yes, I eat enough. Enough, enough

enough enough. Quick fancy pants in me.

You boys aren't worth the spit. I

used to shine my shoes.

We're doing this for Kevin.

Kevin O'Malley. Ah,

good paper boy.

I'll give you one shot. You start

tomorrow. You won't regret this, Mr.

Fabrizio. Not one better.

You guys know how to ride a bike, right?

There's umm, we'll get back to you on

that. Wow.

I'm doing good.

You guys, I think we're finally ready to

deliver papers.

That was pretty OK, huh? Yep. Favorite

boy's life for me. Hey, hey, I'm

Shakespeare. You guys would be the new

paper boys that we are my man coming to

the old warehouse. The what? Follow me.

Wow, I see Good place where paper

boys hang out. Hey everybody, these are

the new paper boys that stood up

for Kevin. Guys, this is.

Everybody.

Hello. Hello.

What is your name?

The boys, we heard you were helping poor

little Kevin with his paper wrap. And

we just thought you might need some help

delivering all those heavy newspapers.

Hey, these guys aren't afraid of you, JT.

They ain't afraid of nothing. Well.

The case there's not hyperbolized.

Big rewind. You have to be

limitations. We'll see about that. You

guys, you got brass knuckles and

nunchucks. Sweet. OK, JT, if we

are going to fight, I assume

that we can all agree on

the Queensbury rules. No kicking,

no. Rabbit punching, No.

Oh, oh,

oh.

Don't ever come back here. Ever.

Oh my God, you guys. Look, it's the

girls. Ohh no, we can't let them see

that. We got beat up by those bullies

quick. We have to disguise ourselves in

here.

I know.

Guys, is that you?

Hey neighbors, I didn't think you'd

recognize this, but you did. Oh my God,

what's on your?

Yes. Why are you wearing that? Obviously

because we're protesting racism

correctly. We're we're, we're making an

ironic statement here about racism and

how, how wrong it is. How could

you be so blind? What's really going

on here, you guys?

We got beat up, OK? We didn't want you to

see us like this. Oh my God, that's

terrible. What are you going to do about

it?Ohh,

you have to do something.

You know, it's just going to sit

there and take it like cowards are

you? You are, aren't you, Coward. Howard.

Howard, they're right. You guys. We are

cowards. We're worthless. We're never

leaving this apartment ever again.

Just a minute.

Hey.

It's a lot of fun.

You guys can't hide in your apartment

forever. Go away. Leave us alone. Look,

there's someone here who really wants to

talk to you. Hey, guys, it's me. Can

I come in?

Hey, guys. So listen, Mr. Fabrizio called

and he said that the papers weren't being

delivered. What's going on? Nothing. No,

we just haven't gotten around to it yet.

Kevin. Yeah, we were sick, right? We got

sick, like you said. Whatever

is a child. Ohh I have

the vapors so. Is

it the bullies, You guys? Kevin's right.

We can't spend our whole life being

afraid. Thank you, Kevin, for showing us

exactly what we have to do.

Hey, what do you guys want? You

and us, You'll warehouse midnight. Be

there. You're on. Would your friends like

to join us for some ice cream

cones? No, Mom, They were just leaving.



I didn't think you nervous about the sack

to actually show up. Looks like you've

got more guts and brains. Save your

breath young blood. Anything goes, only

cooks. In broth. All right,

enough talking. We're going to do this

thing or what? Come on.

Nah, it ain't going to go

down like that essay did it,

David.

Well, we're gathered here tonight to have

a fight, but I say man, that's not

alright. Violence is not the solution. It

just adds to all of this pollution. Let's

talk about our problems one-on-one, then

we can be friends and have some fun.

Well. I'm David Wayne and I'm here

to say there's got to be a

better way. Fight. It's not good

activity. Let's use our creativity.

Painting and drawing and dancing, yo. Now

I'd like to introduce my friend Michael

Show.

Boom shaka laka. Boom shaka laka. Get up,

get up, get up. Yeah, rap.

We hope you'll agree that the way to

go is positivity. Our message is simple.

Let's all get along. That's why we call

this rap. The friendship song. The

friendship song. The best ship song. The

friendship song. The friendship song.

You think that lame rap is going to

change anything? We're still going to

kick your asss.

My punch can't get through. It's like

there's a force field in front of them or

something. There is. It's the most

powerful force in the world. The power of

friendship. Look inside your

heart JT. The power to change is within.

Why are you doing this? Because we can.

All right, you win. I'll change. Let's

get out of here.

Excuse me, I'm Don Robertson, Breaker

producer. That song was the most

inspiring thing I've heard in a long

time. Gentlemen, I'd like to offer you

a recording contract with a big advance.

What do you say?

We're very flattered, but we've got a

friend who could use that advanced money

more than us. Is

Kevin? If you really want to inspire

people, give that money to him so he can

follow his dream of going to college.

Sounds good. So what

do you say, Kevin?

Sounds good.

Now it gives me great

pride to introduce our class

valedictorian, Kevin O'Malley.

Thank you as I stand before you

and reflect on my time here. Go

Badgers.

I paused to remember the people who

helped me achieve my dreams. To JT, who

used to be my arch nemesis but now

is my best friend. Mostly

I want to thank three guys who.

I want to thank three guys who've been

there for me from the very beginning.

They're going to hate me for singling

them out, but they deserve some credit

even if they never asked for it.

So I'm sorry that I'm embarrassing you

guys, and I know that you don't want

the spotlight, but I'm afraid somebody

has to say your names. It's like these

are three guys who never get any of

the glory, and today I want to shine

a little bit of that shimmering sunlight

on them. So thank

you, guys. Thank you, Mike Lee

and Black Mix. Will show Walter

and Don Robinson.

Was Danielle really, Really.

Many faces of Dave Chappelle Thursday at



upcoming Comedy Central Roast. We could

use expensive high end graphics and well

written jokes, but when you've got a

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