01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

You know those three or so seconds

between waking up in the morning

and remembering how totally

and completely f*cked everything is?

Whoa!

Don't last long, do they?

Now soak it in, you boozy tosser.

Oh, f*ck the bed.

Hangover plus eggs. f*ck me.

Don't meet their eyes.

Your pupils are mostly vodka.

How was the cinema?

Yeah, it was great.

What did you see?

Name a film. Any film.

Shawshank Redemption.

Not that film.

That was on in the cinema?

Uh

Isn't it, like, a remastered version?

- Thirtieth anniversary or something?

- Mm.

Yeah, right. Exactly.

And that was the first thing

you wanted to see?

Relatable content.

Um

I'm gonna get some fresh air.

f*cking food police.

Delicious, Dad.

I'll finish it.

I promise.

Feta really took it over the edge.

I'll keep it warm for you.

Mm-hmm.

Rude.

Psst!

Morning.

Of course. This is normal.

Not at all terrifying.

Didn't think we'd let you get through

your first hangover alone, did you?

Ah! ♪

Okay, now, shall we

Yeah. Come on.

- Here we go.

- Please don't drop me.

- I won't drop you.

- Okay.

Everything feels fizzy in a bad way,

and I never wish to be

beheld by human eyes again.

I also want, like, barrels of Lucozade.

Aw. Don't fret.

You know, my first real party,

I slaughtered their dog

and unleashed a plague of locusts.

Really?

Mm.

But he did get into bed

with Jonah's parents one time.

- What?

- That is a slanderous lie.

Mrs. Kayton was out of town.

And poor Mr. Kayton

was hiding in his bedroom all night.

Lovely man.

Very cold toes.

Point is, that is way more embarrassing

than throwing up. We've all done that.

Yeah, but you're not

the crazy anorexic girl.

I mean, people will think

I made myself sick

and got myself carted off to the hospital.

No, they won't.

Anyone that saw you dancing

would know that you were totally wasted.

Oh my God, I have to drop out of school

and leave the country.

Preferably on a rocket to a black hole.

Don't be so ridiculous.

You won't get into NASA without A-levels.

Give me the list. You clearly

just need a new mission to focus on.

Yeah, because that worked out

so well the first time.

We can start small,

and

Oh, hello.

Karaoke!

Oh, f*ck yeah.

- That's not on the list.

- Sure it is, here.

We can go Saturday. We said that'd be

the first thing we'd do when you got out.

I don't think we've talked about that,

not even once.

- We can do a duet.

- No.

- I'll be Kenny Rogers.

- No.

And you'll be Dolly Parton.

Sail away with me, ah ha ♪

- Fine.

- Yes!

- Get in!

- I'll come.

What did we say last night?

"f*ck it."

And that's the energy

we're going to school with. Okay?

Yeah, Monday's years away.

Everyone would have forgotten by then.

Everyone's staring at me.

Calm down, Narcissus.

You don't know it's at you.

Yeah, I'm having a great hair day.

Can you believe she made herself sick

right in front of everyone?

I heard she only had like three shots,

then they had to take her to the hospital

to have her stomach pumped.

Mia!

Can we have a little chat?

We'll wait for you here.

Why am I never called in

for anything fun?

Right on time.

How's your week been?

Good.

Um

Before we do the review,

there was something I wanted to say.

Over the last couple of weeks,

I really feel like I've turned a corner.

And you can ask anyone.

The nurses, the other doctors

I've been eating my meals

and participating in group.

And

I understand what I need to do now.

And I want to do it.

I want to be healthy,

so I can go back to school

and see my friends.

And just be normal again.

But the problem is, at the moment,

that everything that's motivating me

is out of reach.

And I feel like

it's holding my recovery back.

Which is why I'm asking you

to consider my immediate discharge.

I just I just feel like

what I need now more than inpatient is

the freedom to get better.

Freedom

ain't all it's cracked up to be.

You know, Mia,

hard though it may be to believe,

I was young once too,

back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I know you probably think us teachers

have no idea what goes on

outside the gates of the school.

But we do have our sources.

Those little f*ck.

Do you want to tell me what happened

at Theo Mason's house on Friday?

I ruined my entire f*cking life.

It was just a gathering

that got a little out of hand.

I can only imagine

how worried your parents were.

Would've hit the bloody roof.

You know, Mia,

when I'm feeling overwhelmed

or something's out of my control,

there's a lovely little line

from a poem I like to think of.

Whether or not it is clear to you

The universe is unfolding as it should

Hmm?

Are you saying humiliation is my destiny?

No, no, I just mean that

what you're experiencing now

won't last forever.

And you never know

what good the darkness will bring. Hm?

There's something around every corner.

Not always good.

But always new.

- It's not fair.

- Thank you.

You've been back less than a week,

and you've already got the attention

I've been chasing for a lifetime.

Everyone is talking about me.

Yes, that's so much better

than not being talked about at all.

Would you rather be Edward Rowell?

- Who's Edward Rowell?

- Exactly.

Hey, can you smell something?

Yeah, is that Mia's breakfast?

- Guys.

- Oh, don't try and be funny, Rhodri.

- You'll give yourself a nosebleed.

- Just leave it.

Wait!

Mia!

Hey!

Oi, look.

Good to see you up and about.

Like a 90-year-old after a fall.

Look, I'm honestly so sorry

about what happened.

No, no,

it's absolutely no problem.

I'm just glad you're all right.

It was a shame

we couldn't talk more, though.

But then you were too busy

colonizing the dance floor.

Ha. Right. Yeah. I brought smallpox

and ran the natives off their land.

What?

Nothing. Um

Did you get home safe?

Uh I live there.

Right, of course.

Anyway, uh, we should

chill together again some time.

Maybe with a less dramatic ending.

- Yeah, I'd like that.

- What are you doing Saturday?

Uh

Nothing.

Right. Anchorage Arms,

down the road from school, eight-ish.

- I'll see you there?

- No.

I mean, yeah. Uh, that would be cool.

Like, way cool.

Way cool?

Cool.

What did he want?

You do know

you actually have to do

your biology coursework at some point?

Wait, this isn't the assignment?

I'd say we veered off

the curriculum ever so slightly.

- Well, you see, I'm a hands-on learner.

- Oh, don't I know it.

Mm-hmm.

Mayday.

sh*t. That's bad, right?

No, it's French for "everything's fine."

Oh, so we're done?

Well, Mia needs Unless, you want to keep

No, I just thought you might

want to do something with that.

Ah. Yeah, well, those messages

kind of scared it off a little bit.

- But I can get it back.

- You're right.

We should go. Mia needs us.

The usual?

Oh, yeah.

I'll wait five minutes.

Better make it ten.

Don't think it scared you quite enough.

- Theo Theo?

- What's this about Theo?

Mia's only gone and got herself a date

with the hottest-guy-in-school Theo.

I think he just goes by Theo.

This is your social salvation.

You're not gonna be

the crazy anorexic girl.

You're gonna be Theo's girl.

That's the feminist dream, right there.

Guys, I don't know

if I can actually do this.

- Of course you can. It's on the list.

- I don't know how to date.

But pub dates are totally casual.

Couple of drinks, great conversation

Conversation?

Ask loads of questions and let him

talk about himself. You'll be fine.

Most importantly,

what are you going to wear?

f*ck.

Where do I even start?

Clothes, for me,

are all about hiding.

But a date is all about showing.

It's all about being seen.

How can I go on a date

when everything I own

makes me look like a sad little boy?

Or doesn't fit me anymore.

I know that's a good thing,

it's a mark of better,

but I still feel ashamed,

and ashamed for being ashamed.

People think anorexia is

all about wanting to be beautiful

wanting to be thin.

And believing they're the same thing.

But it wouldn't matter how thin I got

when I still feel this

wrong.

Like there's something missing in me.

Something that reaches

far deeper than delicate hands

and elegance and estrogen.

You are incorrect, Mia.

Incorrectly feminine.

You must have been sick that day

they taught you how to be a girl.

A real girl.

Thanks.

Hi. Do you need any help at all?

Um

I'm all good, I think.

You sure? We have some more in the back.

What size are you?

- What?

- Size?

What size are you?

Mia! Mia?

This is so weird.

I did not know that you shopped.

Uh, no, not really.

What are you here for?

I'm just picking up some gear

for me and Mum's holiday.

We try to get up to the slopes

four times a year.

Right.

Well, I should, uh

Do you need some help?

With shopping?

I'm, like, scarily good at it.

- No, thank you, that's

- Brilliant.

It'll be so fun. Proper montage moment.

What are you looking for?

Um

I guess, a dress?

Classic. I love it.

Have you ever skied before?

Uh, no, never.

Oh, it's the best.

I would do it competitively, I just

I don't like that weird ski tan.

Yeah. I'm sure that's what keeps

a lot of professionals out of the sport.

This is perfect.

Uh, I'm not really sure it's me.

Just try it on.

Canadian slopes are cute and all

When they try to make you laugh

They only make you madder ♪

So predictable

Are the situational patterns ♪

I don't get it

Why would you want to trick me ♪

I thought you'd want to pick me

But you hated me so quickly ♪

Here are some things which scare me.

Mirrors,

growing up,

Alsatians,

dark hallways,

electrical sockets,

mirrors.

First and last,

always mirrors.

Five-foot-five, 16 years old.

Now, according to my calculations,

your BMI puts you at

the lower end for a girl your age.

All right?

But it's only going up, right?

Oh, it's a tremendous accomplishment.

It really is.

It's been an uphill battle, I know.

And you're making it.

I know there shouldn't be

a "but" at the end of that,

but I'm afraid there has to be for now.

Your body is starting to heal,

but this is about your mental health.

There is so much ground to cover

between where you are now

and out of the woods.

And I'm afraid I can't recommend switching

to outpatient care at the moment.

But you just said that I'm healthy.

So

Do you feel it?

I think so.

I really do.

Well, we were going to wait a while,

but if you're as well as you say you are,

no time like the present.

I thought we'd try something

a touch more avant-garde.

Now, draw your outline,

head to toe, as you see it.

Done.

Well, on you pop.

Sorry?

You've done your version.

Now lie down, and I'll show you another.

That's it.

Good.

Now, I'll use red this time.

That's the arm.

Down there.

I don't have your

artistic inclinations, I'm afraid,

but I can always trace.

Not much of a skill, really, is it?

It's like saying

I'm really good at Snakes and Ladders

Dude, what's taking so long?

The whole point of you trying stuff on

is so I can decide if it works.

I'm She's All That- ing you.

What's wrong? Where are you going?

Home.

What about the dress?

They're too expensive.

- Hi, darling.

- Hey, uh, Dad, can you fetch me?

- Is everything okay?

- I'm fine. Nothing happened.

I can't get there right now,

but Mum's just started work.

- I'll give her a ring and call you back.

- No No, don't tell Mum to come.

Hey.

- Look, Alison, it's not that I don't app

- Here.

What's this?

It's just, like,

the perfect dress for you.

I swiped it.

With money.

It's no big.

Wait.

You bought this for me?

Alison, that's, like,

so bizarrely nice of you.

- Um, but, look, I just can't

- No, it's my dad's card.

So it's fine.

Totally.

Next time he calls from the Caymans,

I'll say it was an extreme charity case.

And you've been through a lot.

You should have something better

to look forward to than daily loungewear.

Um

Thank you. That's really sweet.

I think.

So, what did you want

a swanky dress for anyways?

Um, I've got a date tonight.

Oh yeah, cool.

- I've got to sh**t off.

- Um, you're going?

- At least let me buy you a coffee or

- Good luck. Enjoy the dress.

I be on my own ting, I be on my way ♪

Only good to call me every single day ♪

I be on my own ting, I be on my way ♪

Look, honey. I get it.

It happens to the best of us,

but shoplifting is no joke.

Oh, Mum!

We made the culture as kids ♪

Who's that?

Will.

- Ooh, answer it. I want to say hi.

- No, don't say hi.

Will, I can't really talk right now.

Today's the day!

It's just a Saturday.

Oh, quit being coy

and give me the deets already.

- Did you shave your legs?

- No.

Good. No man's worth it.

Date?

For f*ck's sake.

I will call you back.

I love you. This has been terrible.

Oh, uh, okay. Call me after work.

I'm just starting my shift.

Okay, love you.

Love you, bye.

So

No.

You've got a date.

No, he lied. He's a liar.

He's a lying liar who lies.

Oh, come on. I just want to know

who the lucky so-and-so is.

Theo Mason.

Theo?

Preschool Theo?

Bubble-baths-when-you-were-three Theo?

Mm. It's a long time in the making.

Wow.

At least he's already seen you naked.

Ugh. Mum.

Hey, gorgeous girl.

Sorry about earlier.

Um, a publisher called.

And your mum

was just round the corner, so

You want to talk?

Oh, what did Mum say?

Nothing, actually. You just

have a look.

I don't know. Um

I think maybe part of me expected to

just slot back in like nothing happened.

But I guess "better"

doesn't always mean "recovered."

But it does mean better.

- And you are, Meems.

- Yeah, but not enough.

Sure, you might need some help sometimes,

someone to talk you up or talk you down,

but you are so much further along

than you think you are.

I wish you could see it like we do.

I wish you knew

how much you had to be proud of.

Nice.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall,

please give me a f*cking break.

This is good.

Good.

Yes, dear,

keep howling into the void.

How's things with Cam?

It's just casual.

Uh, please. Inform your face

because she is in lurv.

Not true.

Oh, just, you know,

just tell him you want more.

And have him freak out and make it

weird between us? No, thank you.

What if he feels the same way?

It's Cam. He can't commit to a toothbrush.

Anyway, you're the one

doing "overtime" with your boss.

Exactly. A grown-a*s man.

Not, ooh, I don't know,

one of my best mates.

It keeps things separate.

With us, it's not emotional.

- It's animal.

- Will!

What? I was I was being a lion!

Ugh!

Bloody meal plan.

Eat, eat, eat, repeat.

Oh, Jesus, Mum. Wear a bell or something.

What's going on?

Sit down, darling.

f*ck. She knows about the party.

She knows about the hospital.

This is it. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

I've waited a long time for this moment,

and I believe it has arrived.

What?

- Mum.

- I know what you're going to say.

- No.

- But preparation is important.

We're not doing this.

We are not on that level.

The safest sex is no sex.

But the best sex is safe sex.

Get me out of here.

I'm not having any sex.

This is utterly pointless.

This is like giving me a dirt bike helmet

or a map of the French sewers.

Oh, honey. Does sex scare you?

Of bloody course.

Yeah, maybe a bit.

Then it's best to prepare yourself

inwardly as well as outwardly.

Oh, Mother.

Oh God, why is it shaped like a p*nis?

Mia, lubricant is an absolute essential.

That is honestly the best advice

anyone will ever give you.

And what? No morning-after pill?

Or better yet, how about a stroller

and some nappies and a GoFundMe page

to cover the legal fees

of my inevitable divorce.

- Know what? Fine. You don't want my help.

- Fine.

Totally fine.

Mum.

- Can I ask you something?

- Oh yes, I thought you might.

When you were my age, did you, um

Did you like yourself?

Um

I don't think there was

much to like by that point.

Did other people like you?

Not really.

They liked whoever I was then just fine,

but you can't like someone

you don't really know.

I don't think I even knew me.

But I didn't have friends like yours.

I wasn't brave like you.

- Thank you, Vivian.

- Any time.

What's that?

Sit down, darling.

I mean, it's just a drink, right?

No big deal.

Uh, it's a major deal. It's your first

ever mother-flipping date, dude!

Helpful, Will!

But don't be nervous

or anything like that.

- I'm not

- Don't be nervous.

What you guys doing now?

Just got to warm up

the old voice box for karaoke tonight.

You're still going?

I had to find a replacement for my Dolly,

but the show must go on.

Carli's stepping

into the thigh-high boots.

Didn't realize you had other friends.

Yeah. Ein-steen over here is gonna help me

with my Bio coursework first. Huh?

Einstein was a physicist.

All right, I got to go.

I'm gonna miss my bus.

- Stay safe.

- I will.

- Stay out of the ER.

- Roger!

I love ya!

Well, I'm gonna get my glad rags on.

See you later?

Later.

Ah!

Ooh!

You were looking

a little too chummy just now.

We should rein it in.

Or we could tell people?

Really? I thought you said

it was easier this way.

Well, yeah, I know I did,

but, I mean, I guess

I'm just not finding it as easy.

- I mean, she's barely forgiven me.

- How would you say it, though? That we're

I I mean, what?

Uh, having fun.

Sometimes.

When we feel like it.

Right.

And why does it even matter?

It's not like I'm the only one

you're having "fun" with.

Yeah, but

Look, if this was something bigger

than what it is, then yeah, we should say.

But it isn't, right?

But it isn't.

Nah, you're right, really.

It's no one else's business.

Just ours.

Yeah.

Well

See you at karaoke, mate.

See you.

Oi!

You're fit, you know!

If you send me the location

Then I'll be right there ♪

And make I come check you, my baby ♪

No time, no ♪

And my dawg is on probation

Another five years ♪

Me bring girls to his location

No time, no ♪

Send me the location

This year about vacations ♪

Open the door now.

Open the door. Open the

f*ck it.

Your boyfriend's on a waiting ting

Looking for one wish, on a Ray J ting ♪

sh*t, I forgot

how f*cking fit he is.

Mia!

Hey, man.

Hey.

Ooh, what's the good word? Can we hug?

Oh, so glad you could make it.

And right on time too.

Right. Let's get you a drink in.

Oh, uh, what can I get you?

Um

f*ck, what's a drink?

What do people drink?

What's that thing James Bond drinks?

I know it's not stirred.

sh*t, that could be anything.

Myself, I'm having a double rum and Coke.

Uh, yeah, me too. That sounds great.

Cool.

Your ex wavy, we tsunami

Girl from India, sweetest ♪

So good, now I speak Gujarati ♪

- Uh, just heading to the gents.

- Yeah, have fun.

Came a long way from a park in the bends

To an '18 plate, man's parking a Benz ♪

Far from the rest

But I'm far from my best ♪

Life is a lesson, I'm passing a test ♪

sh*t. Diet Coke.

Should have said Diet Coke.

And single rum. Or no rum?

Uh, excuse me.

Yep?

Hey, uh,

do you have the nutritional

information for drinks?

Oh, um

Like calories.

No, sorry.

No, of course. Um

Can I change my drink to just a Diet Coke?

I can't refund you the rum, I'm afraid.

Can't you just swap it out quickly?

I think the drink's actually been made,

so I can't exactly swap it out.

- All good?

- Yeah.

I will get you your drink.

Oh, I like your dress.

Say something.

We saw each other naked.

What?

Not that.

When we were three.

We had a bath together.

Oh.

Not in a weird way.

Oh my gosh. Stop talking, you tit.

Sorry, uh, I don't remember.

Yeah, no, neither do I.

My mum was just talking about it.

Oh, I remember your mum.

Yeah, she's so cool.

He means hot.

So, uh

Yeah?

How is your mum?

There we go.

I'll get the next one.

Oh, don't promise that.

The others will be here in a minute.

- And they'll definitely hold you to it.

- Others? Other who?

Theo!

Oi!

- Y'alright, mate?

- Of course. Not a date.

Just a pity party.

I know Jonah and Rhods

can be total dicks sometimes.

But I've had a word, don't worry.

They'll be on their best behavior.

I promise.

Okay, so this is peak humiliation.

You getting the first drink?

What do you mean?

Spoke too soon.

Hey, Mia. You look nice.

Going somewhere after this?

Uh

- Head's not straight.

- No need for that.

Mia.

I know, Alison.

You don't have to say it. I'm going home.

I'd have told you about Theo if I'd known.

I swear, I didn't clock you meant him.

Yeah, well, neither did he.

Your first week back is

going pretty great, huh?

Don't make fun of me.

The universe keeps beating you to it.

Theo's a nice boy.

He's a normal boy.

Maybe I'm just an idiot for thinking

someone that nice

and that normal could think I am too.

Well, that's how you are.

Let's now take a look at what you see.

Uh-huh

Yeah.

That's not true.

Well, you saw me draw it.

You felt me draw it.

- No, it's wrong, though.

- No, it isn't, I promise.

Just read your own f*cking chart!

I'm fine.

I'm getting better on my own,

so you need to stop trying to trick me.

I'm not trying to trick you.

No, yes, you are. You always do.

All of you.

And And it's not fair.

Because I can I can I can see myself.

And I know myself, and that is not it.

That is your version.

- Mia. Sit down. Please.

- That is your version of me!

- Please, sit down.

- It's your version.

Listen.

Body dysmorphia is an anxiety condition.

One in which the sufferer

develops a fixation,

an all-consuming obsession

with perceived subjective flaws.

As the body sheds weight and mass,

it can take a little time sometimes

for the for the mind to catch up.

You might struggle to reconcile

the sight and sensation of bodily tissue

that simply isn't there.

It's a powerful,

persuasive, and debilitating lie.

Dolly?

Dolly!

All you bring me is confusion

Can't make sense of it ♪

I was hoping you could see me as I am ♪

Maybe ♪

You could love me any day ♪

You could love me any day ♪

All you bring me is confusion

Can't make sense of it ♪

I was hoping you could see me as I am ♪

Ah ♪

They say music heals all wounds.

Or wait, is it time?

Right now, I really need it to be music.

I want it that way ♪

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a heartache ♪

Tell me why

Ain't nothin' but a mistake ♪

Tell me why

I never wanna hear you say ♪

I want it that way ♪

Am I your fire ♪

Your one desire ♪

Yes, I know it's too late ♪

But I want it that way ♪

Didn't think

I'd be ending this night

eating a sandwich on the actual toilet

with my mother's condom

burning a hole in my pocket.

But maybe this is where I need to be.

Recovery takes everything I've got.

- No more chasing after love.

- Hello?

Hi. Sorry.

Uh, I'm out of paper in here.

Could you pass me some?

Cheers.

Mia!

You're Mia.

I'm Carli. I work with Will.

You're

You.

I mean

Hi.

Come on, let's get a table

and wait for them together.

Saw you at Theo's party, I think.

Hard to miss the ambulance.

And there was me thinking

no one noticed the deafening siren

and the abject humiliation.

Ah, come on. Shutting down a whole party?

I think that's pretty rock and roll.

Marry me.

So, do you go to school?

I mean, my school?

The school. Westmere.

Yeah. I moved down from Manchester

at the start of this year.

So, how are you finding London town?

What's up with

all the regionalistic rivalry stuff?

Well, that one's easy.

If you're from North, you hate West.

If you're from West, you hate East.

And everyone hates South.

sh*t. A lot to catch up on.

Amen to that.

Don't think I saw you last term, did I?

Uh, no. No, you didn't. I was out.

Just be you, remember. Just be

Family stuff. All fine now.

Or lie immediately.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, they're all dead.

You're funny, man.

And not at all like I expected.

In a good way?

We'll have to see.

I got time.

Carli! Mia!

- Horny little b*tch, give us the tea!

- Ugh. Not now. Go away forever!

Next up, Will and Carli!

- Will, we're up next!

- I'll be there in a sec.

Hiyas.

And? How was it?

It?

- The bloody date.

- What else?

Oh, it was good.

Will, get up here.

Baby, when I met you

There was peace unknown ♪

I set out to get you

With a fine-tooth comb ♪

I was soft inside ♪

There was something going on ♪

So, what I said earlier about love

Can I retract it?

You do something to me

That I can't explain ♪

Hold me closer and I feel no pain ♪

Every beat of my heart ♪

Oh f*ck.

We're gonna need a bigger bucket.

Islands in the stream

That is what we are ♪

No one in between

How can we be wrong? ♪

Sail away with me

To another world ♪

And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪

From one lover to another, ah ha ♪

I can't live without you

If the love was gone ♪

Everything is nothing

If you got no one ♪

And you did walk in the night

Slowly losing sight of the real thing ♪

But that won't happen to us

And we got no doubt ♪

Too deep in love

And we got no way out ♪

And the message is clear ♪

This could be the year

For the real thing ♪

No more will you cry

Baby, I will hurt you never ♪

We start and end as one

In love forever ♪

We can ride it together, ah ha ♪

Making love with each other, ah ha ♪

Islands in the stream

That is what we are ♪

No one in between

How can we be wrong? ♪

Sail away with me

To another world ♪

And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪