O.k., sweetie,
now it's story time.
Let's see.
Where'd we leave off
last night?
Ah, o.K.
Ahem.
"Never in a brilliant
career of 300 years
"had the ghost
been so grossly insulted.
"So he decided
to enter the twins' room
"and give them a scare
they wouldn't soon forget,
"but when he
threw open their door,
a bucket of water fell
right down on him..."
Kapoosh!
"Wetting him
to the skin."
Aah!
"At the same moment,
"he heard
shrieks of laughter
"as the boys burst
out of the closet,
"merrily throwing
pillows at him,
just missing his head."
Shoosh. Whoosh. Sheesh.
Hee hee hee
h* h* h* ha ha ha ha.
"He fled back
to his room
"uttering hollow groans
about this rude family.
"No ghost in history
had ever been treated
so badly."
O.k., honeybun,
that's enough for tonight.
Oh, daddy.
Sorry. I had to work
late again this weekend,
but remember,
it's just until Thursday
when I get my raise
and new promotion,
which will include me
in the company's insurance
and pension plan.
Then we'll have lots
of time to do fun things.
Now make me louder.
Hold me up to the door.
Good night, Diane!
Don't wait up for me.
I never do.
Good night, Danny!
Good night, dad.
See you in the morning.
And do your homework
instead of magic tricks.
Sure, dad.
Nice talking
to you.
O.k., Amanda,
now turn out the light
and go to sleep.
Daddy loves you.
I love you, too,
daddy.
And I'll see you
in the morning.
Good night, sweetie.
Good night, daddy.
Good night,
little sister.
I want pancakes
and waffles.
Happy birthday,
Diane.
Oh, yeah. Happy birthday.
I'd have gotten you
something,
except you're
always the one
who remembers
these things and
buys the presents.
So my birthday
present to you
is you don't
have to shop for
my present to you.
You're a very
unusual child.
Thank you.
I wonder what
daddy's excuse
will be.
He wouldn't
forget your birthday.
He'll forget,
and then he'll say
he'll make it up to me
after Thursday.
Pancakes. Waffles.
I'd like two eggs
over easy,
hash browns,
Canadian bacon...
Or just some cereal
and juice.
♪ Happy birthday to you
♪ happy birthday to you
♪ happy birthday, dear...
Uh, wait.
No, no. Wait, wait.
Give me a chance.
Duh...
"D."
"D."
♪ D-Doris
di.
Di.
Come on.
♪ Dinosaur
di... you know your
name. Who are you?
Well, who cares?
You have a birthday.
I'm so...
Ohh!
Aah! Amanda,
honey, please.
I told you not
to leave your skates
on the stairs.
Sorry.
♪ Happy birthday,
Diane ♪
♪ happy birthday,
Diane ♪♪
You don't
have to get mushy.
Well, I have
to get mushy.
Fathers get like that
sometimes.
My father, on my 9th birthday,
dressed up
in a bunny costume
for a whole week!
A whole week?
Because the zipper
was stuck.
He didn't mean to do it.
He bumped
around the house
like a bunny
for a whole week.
I got to run.
What do you mean,
you got to run?
Daddy,
it's my birthday.
Jonelle turned 17,
and she got
a convertible,
but I get
shaving cream?
You completely
forgot, bucko.
Admit it.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Thursday,
if everything
goes the way
I think it should,
the company's also
going to give me a car,
and if they do,
you can have grumpy.
Really?
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
Daddy, can I
drive it today?
I'll be
incredibly careful.
I'll take you
to work.
Diane, listen!
Thursday!
That's it!
And please don't use
that sheepdog look on me.
It means nothing.
Nothing.
Yes!
You won't regret this,
daddy, old pal.
O.k.
All right.
Bye-bye.
Hi, Mr. Hopper.
Well, how are you,
Stuart?
You take out
your own garbage?
Yes.
We pay people
to do that for US.
I wanted to show Danny
my new bike.
You have
a new possession,
and you actually
want to show it off?
That doesn't
sound like you.
Yeah. You
can't get this kind
without connections,
and it's a lot
faster than Danny's,
but it should be
since it's about
twice as expensive.
You're a republican,
aren't you?
Well, I'm not
registered.
Danny's inside.
Stuart.
Watch out, Diane!
Oh, for god's sake!
Just practicing.
Hi.
Hi to you.
So this is how
grownups do it.
You got yourself
a new chauffeur.
Nobody wants
to live forever.
You are so funny.
I'm not that funny.
Just practicing.
Listen, I got to go.
So we still on
Wednesday night
for the banquet?
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
Buckle up, stud.
Oh, hop.
Going up to 12?
All the way up to 12,
Mr. Seymour.
Oh, punch 11 for US,
please.
How's our deal going?
Mr. Collins and I
have a 10:00 meeting
with
the investment bank.
Then I'll go up to
get some documents.
We ought to close
sometime Thursday,
right on schedule.
That's great.
That's wonderful.
Out of sight, hop.
Gentlemen, you all
know Elliot hopper?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He was the first one
to envision
the aussie merger.
He's been handling
all the negotiations
for Collins, limited,
and next Thursday, when
our combined directors meet,
hop will be
the youngest man
ever to sit
on the board
of our firm
or Mr. Nero's.
That is, if he
doesn't screw it up
between now and then.
We catch you tickling
Mr. Nero's wife
in Macy's window,
all bets are off.
Slim chance.
Have you seen
Mrs. Nero lately?
Oh.
Mr. Nero.
What?
How are you, sir?
Oh, yes. I'm eating
solid food again.
Oh, well,
wonderful!
We'll see you
at the bankers' at 10:00.
G'day, sir.
G'day, sir.
I only have
a minute, Carol.
Got to take a taxi.
How's everything
going in there?
They just put in
the new windows.
Everything will
be ready today.
We just got
the seating
arrangement
for the banquet
Wednesday.
You'll be at
the head table.
What's this?
Today's mail.
Nothing
super important.
Jesus Christ!
h*, h*! Hey, hey!
Hey!
Thank you.
Union bank headquarters,
lynwood, please.
Going a little fast,
aren't we?
The road is that way.
Eat sh*t.
Thanks.
I'm trying to quit.
Haah!
Uhh!
Ow!
Do you accept
the lord Satan
as the supreme being
and evil,
your salvation?
I've been meaning to,
but I've been so busy,
I haven't
gotten around to it.
Aah!
Aah!
Whoo!
I like you.
Thank you.
Do you worship Satan?
How much do you want
to stop this cab?
I'll give you $20
to stop.
I'll give you 40.
I've got $76.
Just stop the cab!
I'll throw in the wallet.
It's from Gucci.
You can impress
all your friends in hell.
Now stop
the damn cab!
Hey!
Do you worship Satan?
Worship him?
I am Satan!
I command you
to stop this cab!
Aah!
Aah!
You...
Don't drive
another inch.
Don't move.
We're here.
I don't know what
your problem is at home,
but you should never come
to work with that attitude!
Naah!
Ohh.
Take it easy.
Yes, evil master.
Your wallet.
No!
It isn't
really a Gucci!
It's an imitation!
Officer!
Officer!
Officer!
Officer, god...
It's terrible.
The car...
Underwat...
Give me a
minute, please.
No. Wait! There's
another person.
Any sign of him?
It was
the cab driver.
No sign of...
God, he must have drowned.
Anyways, he was one
of those devil worshippers
and he smoked...
Smoker.
What are you doing?
What are you...
Hey!
Are you blind?
Hey! You are doing
this intentionally.
You know I'll
have you reported
for urinating on
an accident victim!
Is this any kind
of behavior
for a patrolman?
Aah!
Hey!
No. This... this can't...
This can't be.
This can't be.
I'm not dead!
I know I'm not dead!
This is... I'm dreaming!
I got to wake up.
Wake up!
Wake up!
I'm not dead!
I got to get out
of this dream.
I got to get out
of this dream.
Uhh!
Move on over
to obstacle number three
after
we get number two.
Reach on up there
and find it.
Where is it?
There it is.
Moving over to
number three... Sushi.
This is creepy.
Look at them.
What's going
to happen to them?
Who's going to
take care of them?
Way to go.
That was tough.
Promotional consideration
provided by...
Super sloppy double dare...
A free pair of sneakers,
the official shoe
double dare!
Hi, dad.
Hi, Dan.
What?
Hi, daddy.
You're
home early.
That's nice.
You can see me?
What?
You can see me?
This is fantastic!
What are you doing?
No, I'm asking you.
Can you see me?
Your mouth
is moving,
but I can't
hear anything.
You can't hear me,
but you can see me.
You can't hear me,
but I can hear myself.
What's wrong with daddy?
What do you mean,
what's wrong
with daddy?
Oh, my god!
Where'd he go?
Daddy?
I'm right here!
He just
vanished!
Great trick, dad.
Where'd you go?
Wait.
Turn off the light.
Danny!
Excellent trick!
It must be based
on some sort
of optical
illusion.
Daddy?
I don't like this trick.
I hate it.
Stop it.
And would you
stop it, daddy?
You're
scaring Amanda.
What?
What?
Daddy,
I can't hear you.
I...
I...
Have a very small...
I am!
A big sissy.
It... it's, uh...
Uh...
A fish.
You're an owl!
You're a duck!
You're white house
chief of staff
John sununu!
It sounds
like, um...
A glass.
Toast.
You're toasting
something.
It sounds
like toast.
Post. A host.
A ghost?
He's a ghost!
You're a ghost!
You're dead!
He's dead!
He's dead!
Oh, come on, Amanda.
Get up, honey.
Don't be afraid.
I'll get her.
It'll be o.K.
Come on, honey.
Come on.
Come on.
Don't be scared.
Is daddy going away
like mommy?
Try telepathy, dad.
I think that's how
ghosts communicate.
Concentrate.
I hear it.
I hear it, too.
Can you move your lips
or something, dad?
This is really weird.
Daddy, are you going to
go away like mommy did?
No-o, hone-ey.
I-I'll be-e h*-o-me
fo-o-r a whi-i-le.
I-I'm so-o-ry fo-o-r
wha-at ha-appen-ned.
O-O.k.?
O.k.
O-O.k.
Daddy!
Wha-at?
What's... what's
ha-appe-ening?
Far out!
Oh, my god!
What?
Ama-anda!
Be a good fellow and get
off the desk, will you?
Now, then,
awfully glad to have
you here, Mr. Hopper.
Tha-ank, yo-ou,
you-ur gra-a-ce,
altho-ough
I-I ca-an't
sa-ay the sa-ame.
Thi-is who-ole
th-ing i-is ra-ather
unfo-ortu-u-Nate.
A-As a ma-atter
o-of fa-act,
i-it wa-as
the la-ast thi-ing
tha-at I
wa-as loo-ooking
fo-orwa-ard to.
I say, old chap,
you're very badly
out of sync.
Here, old fellow.
Stick these on
your forefingers.
When did you die?
Thi-is mo-orni-ing.
Cause of death?
I drowned
in a taxicab.
I'm... I'm sorry.
Forgive me.
And, um, where
did this unusual
tragedy occur?
United States
of america,
planet earth.
Am I in heaven?
Oh, don't be silly.
Then I'm in hell.
Oh, thank you
very much.
Do I come
into your home
and tell you
it's some inferno,
some stinking,
sweltering cesspool?
Now put this
into your hand.
Where am I?
You're in London.
What am I doing
in London?
What am I doing
in London?
Acting just like
an American, I'm afraid.
Left our good manners
home on the range?
You must control
your temper,
or else you'll slip
out of sync again.
Wha-a-t a-am i-i
do-o-ing he-ere?
Actually, I summoned you.
You were on your way
to the hereafter...
Just a routine transfer...
When something went wrong.
I sensed a disturbance
in the spirit ether,
which is almost always
a sure sign
of intercorporeal
maltransference.
Of what?
It means
they screwed up.
It's the afterlife
equivalent
to misplacing
your paperwork.
It's rare,
but it happens.
Anyway, it's
a specialty of mine.
I've written a book
on it, actually.
You can find it in
most local bookstores.
I'm the world's
foremost authority
on life after death.
Let's get on with it.
With what?
I want you to send me
back right now!
Now, you can send me
back, can't you?
Well, of course
I can send you back,
but why
should I want to?
Because it's
for my children!
After Thursday,
I'll come back,
and you can do all
the research you want.
Thursday?
You think
you'll make it to
Thursday, do you?
Yes. Why do you
find that so funny?
This... this is
a temporary state
you're in.
I've never
known anyone
to last more
than three days,
and most go in less!
I'm going to make it
to Thursday.
Well, your readings
are strong.
Have you started
to flicker?
No. No flicker.
You might make it
to Wednesday,
maybe even
Wednesday night,
but no,
not Thursday.
Quite impossible.
But I've got to
make it to Thursday.
It's for my children.
My wife died
a few years ago,
and I'm all
they have left.
Please...
Sir Edith?
Sir eh-dith...
Moser.
Hmm?
But on... on the book,
it's spelled Edith.
But it's pronounced
eh-dith.
But it's
a girl's name.
Look, it is not
a girl's name.
Eh-dith
is a boy's name!
Who are you
named after?
I was named
after my grandmama!
And they
called her eh-dith?
No! Her name is Edith!
So you see?
It is a girl's name!
No, it's not!
Now, will you
please stand still?
For heaven's sake!
No! I want you
to send me back.
Please, I don't
want to disappoint
my children again!
All right,
I'll send you back,
but I must have
further readings.
I'm going to call
for you again,
agreed?
All right.
Now just send me back.
Now.
All right!
Off we go!
Follow me.
All right.
Off you go.
Godspeed.
What do we do?
I don't know, Danny.
Hey, look who's back!
Daddy!
Aah!
Are you o.K.?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I'm just fine.
Uh, it's...
It's just i'm... I...
As soon as I
get this landing down.
Where were you?
I was in London
with a man named Edith.
That's a girl's name.
Daddy, can I take you
to show and tell?
No, honey. You can't
take me anywhere,
and if anyone asks,
you say everything
is perfectly normal, o.K.?
O.k.
We have to hold out
until Thursday.
Obviously I can't
go into the office
like this.
Hello.
Just tell them that,
uh, I'm not well.
That's great.
Just tell them
that I'm not well,
and I'll stay here
right on through Thursday,
and then after Thursday,
you see...
It's Mr. Collins
for you,
and he sounds
kind of flipped out.
Concentrate, dad.
Mr. Collins?
Why weren't you
at the bank meeting?
This merger
is falling apart!
Where have you been
all afternoon?
We've had negotiating committees
from both firms waiting,
and you never
had the courtesy
to tell US
you were standing US up.
Yes, well, Mr. Collins,
I can assure you...
If you blow this deal,
do you know what I
personally will do to you?
How am I going
to go to work?
Are you going
to bed soon?
No.
Aren't you tired?
Uh, I don't think
ghosts get tired.
Are you just going
to sit up all night?
Well,
I'm a ghost.
It's my job.
Speaking of jobs, daddy,
do you think you can
go to work like this?
Who are you kidding?
I never said
that it would be easy.
I... I... I truly believe,
though,
that if we
pull together
and if I...
Just concentrate
hard enough,
and we can
stick to the plan
for tomorrow,
people will not know...
I'm, uh... what I am.
And if you don't,
what happens to US?
How am I going
to support myself
and two kids?
Have you
left US anything?
You don't have
life insurance?
This house.
Do we
own this house?
Why did you
leave everything
till
the last minute?
I didn't know
it was the last minute.
I had life insurance,
and then
your mother got sick,
and I cashed it in
to pay the medical bills.
I mortgaged the house.
Anything
to try and save her.
I'm sorry, daddy.
To Thursday.
We're screwed.
There's no way
this is going to work.
Hi, kids.
Where's your dad?
Everybody's been
looking for him.
Maybe he's dead.
Tired.
Dead tired.
Or maybe he drowned.
In paperwork.
In paperwork.
What are you doing?
Carol, do you
see my dad anywhere?
No.
Aah!
Oh. Oh... oh.
Oh, my god.
You scared the dickens
out of me.
Don't ever
do that again.
I'm sorry.
Where have you been?
Collins
is furious with you.
Well, that's
a long story.
Elliot,
what are they doing?
Uh, they're
shutting out the light
because I don't
like the sunlight.
Uh, you always
loved the sunlight.
I'm talking
about the fact
that I want
to concentrate,
and the view
and the sunshine,
it's distracting.
O.k.
I'll buy that one.
All right, kids.
Thank you very much.
Pick me up after work.
Bye, daddy.
If St. Peter calls,
I'll get a number.
What have we got?
All hell breaking loose.
Collins wants you to handle
all the negotiating sessions.
He says the Australians
are getting edgy.
I moved all the scheduling
from yesterday to today,
so it's very, very heavy.
You've got a 10:00
with auditing,
a 10:30 with Seymour,
a 12:00 with the Australian
lawyers at their hotel,
a 2:00 here with sales.
You've got a 5:00
with the ad agency.
You've got two 5:30s here
and a 6:00 with...
Carol,
with all the work
we have to do,
I don't have time
for outside appointments.
Oh, I forgot to tell you.
You have to take
your life insurance physical
this afternoon.
Can't they give me the insurance
without the physical?
No. They said it's today
or never.
I've got the forms
right here.
Diane, go up to my closet,
bring me down
the following things...
Thanks, Diane.
A complete physical?
Trust me.
I'll be back in an hour.
Oh, warm in here.
That's good.
Elliot hopper, please.
Yes, Mr. Hopper.
Whoo!
Take this to room 2
and strip to the waist.
Hi.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Uh-huh...
Uh-huh.
It's dark in here.
If you wouldn't.
I'm a little shy.
Okay.
Something wrong?
Your heart stopped.
Maybe there's
something wrong
with the stethoscope.
Try again.
Okay.
I need you
to go across the hall.
See nurse satler
in X-ray.
Thank you.
All right.
Thank you.
I can't take
an X-ray right now.
Something came up at my office
and I'll have to reschedule.
It'll only take
a few seconds,
Mr. Harper.
Rest your chin
up against here,
put your chest
up against the plate,
please.
Mr. Harper, chest against
the plate, please.
Hands on hips...
Breathe in and hold...
Thank you, Mr. Hopper.
Please send in the next patient.
You can come in now.
Aah!
I'm finished,
is that correct?
Yep.
Okay.
Oh, almost forgot.
One last thing.
Give me a minute.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Hopper.
Oh, no problem.
No problem. Thank you.
Nurse!
Nurse!
Police! Police!
Daddy, I'm not sure
about any of this.
Look, I just passed
the physical.
What are you
so worried about?
What if somebody
finds out
that you're dead?
What if somebody
finds your body?
I'm at the bottom
of the river.
That'll make me
look so weird.
"Oh,
there goes Diane.
You know,
Casper's daughter."
This is a kwlp
weather break.
It's 75 degrees,
but look out.
High winds are blowing
through the canyons
our way.
Now back to our music.
Yo, Diane. Let me in.
I need a ride.
Who's this
with his clothes
on backwards?
Tony ricker,
and do not
embarrass me.
You're not
letting him in...
Thanks a lot, babe.
Looking good.
Yeah? Thanks, man.
You, too.
Yeah. I know.
So...
I see your friend jonelle
at the mall,
and I go, "yo, I dig
your friend Diane," right?
And then she goes,
"geez,"
and I go, "hey,"
and then she goes,
"no way. Keep dreaming,"
and then I go, "chill.
"I'll give Diane something
to dream about.
Know what I'm saying?"
God, Tony. I didn't
know you liked me.
Hey, Diane.
Oh, that's attractive.
Hey.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Wha... whoa! Oh!
Oh.
I cannot believe
that you did that!
Let me
tell you something.
You are never, never,
ever going to date that...
Tony ricker's
the only guy in school
that knows I'm alive,
and I'll date him.
Over my dead body!
Precisely!
Play dad
for Danny and Amanda
because they need one.
I can handle myself,
thank you.
I do not appreciate
your interference
in my pathetic
social life!
Um...
She's... she's having
a nervous breakdown.
You finished?
Go away.
A good thing
about being a ghost
is lights on, lights off,
I'm still here.
Dead people
can be such jerks.
I hope... I hope
this is Tony.
I don't think so.
He's probably still
sitting in the street
wondering
what happened to him.
Hopper, where the hell
have you been?
You'd think
I'd get to choose
my own friends,
but no.
Who are you
talking to, Diane?
Who else? Casper.
Hi, daddy!
Hi, sweetie.
We'll talk about this
another time.
I have to call my office,
o.K.?
All I get is grief.
I clean up,
do the laundry...
I take out the garbage.
I cook the meals,
and what do I get?
Complaints.
I don't complain
about your cooking!
Yes, you do. All the time,
loud and clear.
You're going
to hurt yourself.
What about Wednesday,
huh?
What about last Friday?
What about
last Saturday night?
Quote... "Diane, how can you
screw up spaghettios?"
And I'm not
your responsibility
anymore,
so what do you care
what I do?
What do I care?
Amanda,
see who it is
and get rid of them.
I'm your father.
I love you.
You don't love me.
Of course I love you.
You're my daughter!
Right.
You feel
what fathers feel
for daughters.
That's not love.
It's father stuff.
That's love!
Daddy, it's Joan.
Joan?
You want
to jacuzzi with her?
No, no. She can't
see me anymore,
remember?
Oh, yeah.
Look.
Romeo and Juliet.
That's love.
He took poison
for her!
What have you
ever done for me?
I ate the spaghettios.
Oh!
He says you can't
see him anymore.
Oh?
Diane!
Diane!
This is your top 40
station kwlp.
Diane!
Back to our top 40.
Daddy.
Diane, don't make me
walk through this door.
Daddy.
Joan says to go
bleep bleep yourself,
and she'll fill in
the bleep bleeps later.
Diane!
Dad, I have
to talk to you.
What is it?
How am I going
to be a magician
without
the trunk of doom?
Look.
That's probably Joan
coming back to fill in
the bleep bleeps.
Because she can't see me
in the light,
you show her
into the living room
where it's nice and dark,
and I'll talk to her,
and then you and I
will talk about the...
The trunk of doom.
Trunk of doom, yes.
The trunk of doom.
I can't
be a professional
magician
using
the same old stuff.
Hello, little boy.
Is your daddy home?
Ah! Mr. Collins!
What a pleasant surprise!
I'll be right down!
Your secretary
told me
you were at home!
Later, I'll ask you
what you were doing
at home
when these
busy people were
waiting for you.
But right now, let's
close this deal!
That's correct!
Danny, why don't you
show the gentlemen
into the living room?
I'll be right down!
Stall 'em.
Please, I don't
have much time,
but there's a
logical explanation
for everything.
Why are you
dressed like that?
May I come in, please?
This better be good,
you son of a...
O.k. So take off
your mask and talk.
It's a little bright
in here.
Can we go in there?
You really have
a lot of nerve.
It's not what you think.
Please. I'm begging you.
I only have a minute.
I must be nuts.
Joan, I want you to know
that I am absolutely
crazy about you.
The moments that we have
spent together
have been absolutely...
For me... fantastic.
I would never
do anything to hurt you.
O.k.
Good! I got to go.
Wait just a second!
No, I...
Damn it, Elliot.
I invited you over here
for a little
afternoon delight.
I can't.
Oh, Elliot.
What?
You don't think
you can, huh?
I know I can't.
Oh, well.
Oh, no. No, no, no.
I don't mean that.
I-I can...
Of course I... what did...
Well?
What I mean is,
we can't.
We can't.
Shh.
Now, it's just a little
performance anxiety, see.
But you don't have to
perform with me,
'cause all we're
gonna do is cuddle.
But I have people wait...
Ooh.
You just need to relax.
I gotta go.
I've got to concentrate.
Are the guys
still here?
Yeah. Diane won't
come out of her room.
I need to talk
to you about school...
Just let me deal
with my boss first.
Gentlemen, here are
the final documents,
and I spent
the whole time
working right here
on them,
and I'm sure
that we will be able
to resolve
any final disagreements
with the nero company.
I want...
Gentlemen,
please excuse me.
Yes?
Mr. Hopper,
it's Stuart.
Stuart?
You know.
Danny's friend,
short, upwardly mobile?
Yes, Stuart.
I'll get Danny
for you.
No, no. It's you
I want to talk to.
See, I know
that you're an alien.
What?
I want $50,000 in small,
unmarked bills right now,
or I go to the newspapers.
Gentlemen, uh, please
excuse me one minute.
Now you listen to me,
you little bag
of pig puke!
You mention one thing
to anybody about this,
and so help me,
I'll do things to you
that you can't
even imagine!
You try to threaten me?
I don't get frightened.
I give frightened!
You little fart!
What do you think of this?
Aah! Aah!
Ha!
Good night.
Now, gentlemen, I'm s...
Dad, can I
have some time?
Where did they go?
They left.
What did they say?
They seemed
pretty torqued off.
Look, dad,
I've got this problem.
Tomorrow is career day
at school.
I cannot do
the same old tricks.
Dad!
Danny! There are
other things
in this world
besides magic!
I'm about
to lose my job!
Hello!
Yeah, yo.
Is Diane there?
This is Tony ricker.
Tony ricker?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's me.
Put the b*tch on.
Put the b*tch
on the phone?
Put the b*tch
on the phone?
The b*tch can't
make it to the phone.
I'm here, though.
And if you
so much as call,
talk to,
or even think
about Diane,
so help me,
I'll do things to you...
Are... you... the... devil?
Worse!
I'm from the phone company.
Now...
What did you do?
I told him
in a very fatherly manner
to leave
my daughter alone.
I'm trying to help you.
Danny, what is it
you wanted?
Forget it.
I don't think
helping's
your strong suit
these days.
"Virginia spied the ghost
in the den.
"He looked so forlorn
that little Virginia,
"whose first idea
had been to run away,
"was filled with pity
"and was determined
to try and comfort him.
"I'm so sorry
for you," she said,
"but my brothers are going
"back to school tomorrow,
and then,
if you behave yourself,
no one will annoy you."
"It is absurd to ask me
to behave myself," he said.
"I must rattle my chains
"and groan and walk
about at night.
It is my only reason
for existing."
Danny?
Danny.
You said that you
couldn't do that trick
without that kit
he forgot to get you.
I'll do it
without his help.
Is that safe?
Danny.
I will be performing
a trick
called
"the trunk of doom."
I will have to escape
from within
this locked trunk
using only
my magician's skills.
No trick props.
No easy out.
Uh, Daniel...
Uh, are you sure
this is safe?
As a matter of fact,
I'm sure it's not.
There comes a time
in every young man's life
when he can't
rely on dad,
when he has to prove
to himself
he's a man
on his own.
This guy...
Diane, you have not
seen anything...
Do you think you can
set it up again, maybe?
I've got to talk
to Rupert.
You know, jonelle,
Danny's up to something
a little strange.
I'd better call my dad.
The little mother.
Hi, Terry.
Hi, Tony.
Hey, man.
O.k...
Uh... in you go.
Get in there.
And so, gentlemen,
that leaves US
with just three open
issues remaining...
Amortization
of the pre-merger
capital gains
and the distribution
of combined partnership
holdings
in subchapter three...
Excuse me, Elliot.
It's Diane.
She says it's about Danny.
Tell her I can't talk
to her right now.
Diane, he's very busy...
And thirdly,
the pretax escrow account
for the new partnership.
If you'll turn
to page 3,
please.
5 bucks says
we got to call
the janitor
to get him out.
Danny?
Danny, are you
all right?
Uh... yeah.
Boo.
Boo. Boo.
Boo. Boo.
Boo. Boo.
Boo. Boo.
Danny?
Mr. Turner.
Shh.
Shh. Shh.
Yes, Danny?
Could you please call
the janitor?
Hi, kid.
Dad!
Say, you've
gained weight.
I thought you had
that big meeting.
Yeah, I did,
but I thought about it,
and you're more important.
Thanks, pop.
I'll get you out
of this in a second,
then we'll have
a big finish.
All right.
You got it.
Aah!
Oh, wow!
How am I doing?
You're getting an "a."
Thank you.
Dad, you're the greatest.
To call your
behavior incompetent
would be like calling
world w*r ii a spat!
I could tear you apart
with my bare hands!
He's a little upset.
I cannot believe
you would walk out
of negotiations
just when we are
closing them.
I'm sure you had
an excellent reason.
If I hadn't stepped in,
it would've fallen through.
I would have k*lled you.
We closed it.
He doesn't have
to k*ll you now.
Instead,
I'll ruin you.
I told you about this.
You're fired.
Mr. Collins...
You're fired!
You walked out
on a meeting.
No, I can explain.
You're fired!
This is not for me.
This is for my children.
Their whole future depends
on this, Mr. Collins.
I can't lose my job now.
I've served
your company 14 years.
I've served you well
and loyally,
and that's got to count
for something.
You're fired.
Mr. Collins...
Mr. Collins...
Don't come
to the banquet.
Elliot!
Elliot, you're not
even dressed yet.
I thought
the banquet
is at 7:30.
It's the worst moment
of... of my life.
I... I'm sorry, Joan.
I can't talk to you
right now.
Wh...
I'm afraid
I have bad news.
You're fired.
I'm sorry about the job.
But I'm very sorry...
About the job...
That I couldn't finish.
I don't care
about the stupid job.
When you were alive,
you wouldn't have left
the meeting to help me.
Elliot, I don't know
what's happening,
but we're having
this out now.
Go ahead.
Why is it
all of a sudden
always so dark
around here?
And how can you fall
through a bed?
Why are you
talking so funny?
What is wrong
with your clothes?
Everything's
perfectly normal.
Joan...
I'm dead.
I... I'm a ghost.
I'm no longer living.
This is
a joke, right?
Aah!
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
Aah!
I thought you were
afraid of intimacy.
I didn't know
you were deceased.
Actually,
I fear you're not.
I fear you're not.
You're not deceased.
I'm not deceased?
I did some calculations
on your measurements.
You're not a ghost.
I'm not deceased?
What am I?
You're a spirit, all right,
but not a ghost.
Not yet. Now,
where's the kitchen?
I am famished! Ah!
Can we get back
to the "I'm not
deceased"?
Yes. You didn't die.
You jumped out
of your body.
Something
frightened you, yes?
Something very
dangerous happened,
and it frightened you.
I was in
the taxicab.
It went off
the bridge.
It landed underneath
the water.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't get out.
Oh, no. You drowned?
Yes.
Ah, but he didn't.
You got scared out
of your body.
Your corpus humanum
is still alive somewhere!
It's been rumored
there was one other case
in america years ago,
in the 1940s, I think.
Before he found his body,
this poor fellow
had to wear
a bunny costume
for a week.
It was somewhere
in Minnesota, I think.
That was my father.
Ah! I've always
suspected this was
an hereditary trait.
Far out! When do
I get to do it?
First things first,
young man.
Your father's got a body
out there somewhere.
We should find it before
it checks out for good.
Call the hospitals.
I'll call the police.
I'll call
the cab companies.
There's a phone
upstairs.
Who are you?
Oh, I'm very sorry.
My card.
"Edith"? But that's
a girl's name.
I beg to differ.
It's not
a girl's name.
Well, all the ediths
I know are girls.
Eh-dith
is a boy's name.
Yes, sergeant.
Thank you.
Nothing from the police.
The hospital doesn't
have you, either.
They've got
the cab driver...
Curtis burch.
He's alive?
In a coma.
Somebody up there
likes him.
Somebody up there
doesn't know him.
If my body is alive,
it means I'm not
underwater.
They found
the cab driver.
They didn't
find my body.
I must be somewhere
near him washed ashore.
Remember where?
We could search
the riverbank.
Get Diane. Let's go.
Diane! Diane!
Hurry! Diane, come on!
Let's go!
Hurry up! We got to
search for dad's body.
Aah!
Baby!
Coming through.
Get the straps off.
We're ready.
1, 2, 3...
Lift.
Good, good.
O.k., what
have we got?
She fell.
150. BP...
80 over 30.
Pupils fixed
and dilated.
Doctor, her blood pressure's
dropping. We're losing her.
Come on! Move it!
EKG hooked up.
Boo!
Diane.
What are you doing?
Taking after
my old man, I guess.
Diane.
Diane,
stop fooling around
and get back
in your body.
No way.
This is great!
Diane,
get back
into your body
before something
serious happens.
Like what?
Don't do this to me.
It's always about you,
isn't it?
I'm thinking
of me right now.
This ghost life is better
than my crappy life.
I'm not going
back to it.
Diane, life is
all there is.
Believe me.
I'm begging you,
don't waste it.
Daddy?
Oh, my god.
What... what's happening
to you?
Diane...
Now...
Here...
Don't waste it.
Shouldn't we try
to find your body?
It's not important.
It's you.
Please,
I'll help you look.
I'm not
doing anything
until you get back
into yours.
Daddy, why won't you
let me help you?
I want you...
To live...
Because...
I...
Because you love me.
Yes.
Oh, daddy.
Oh, my.
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Somebody help me!
Help me!
Help me.
Oh, my god.
Look,
daddy, look.
What?
It's you.
It's you.
It says
Curtis burch,
but it's you.
It's that
cab driver's name.
I had no
identification.
He had my wallet.
I'll get back
into my body
if you get back
in yours.
Go, daddy! Go, go!
Go! Please, go!
Daddy?
How do you feel?
There's a terrible
draft under my gown.
They took
my underwear off.
Oh, daddy.
I hurt everywhere.
It's the most
wonderful feeling.
You should hurry.
Hurry.
I'm sorry.
I'm leaving.
I just...
I've tried,
but I can't sit
on a bedpan and go.
I've got to go
to the bathroom.
She's fibrillating.
Get the paddles
and get the epi.
Is respiratory here, yet?
Get on it, stat.
We're losing her.
Charging.
Wow. Super rad.
Wow, I'm o.K.
Give me a second.
What a rush.
I guess I'm cured, huh?
Thanks for your help,
everybody.
Oh.
Well, thanks.
Bye!
Come, let's go.
We found daddy's body.
He's right here.
He's not a ghost
anymore.
Let's go.
Jesus Christ!
Wait a minute.
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
Evil master!
Your wallet.
I am yours to command!
Command?
Command?
I command you to...
Go to hell and sit
on a red-hot coal
and wait for me...
Until it snows!
Oh, yes!
Yes, evil master!
Yes!
♪ Hmm
♪ mm-hmm
♪ whoa, mmm
♪ we've been so close
to each other ♪
♪ can't think
of a moment ♪
♪ that you weren't there
♪ we've been through
so much together ♪
♪ can't think
of a feeling ♪
♪ that we haven't shared
♪ ooh
♪ how many lovers
♪ ever find
the kind of love ♪
♪ that we've got
♪ uh-huh
♪ ooh-ooh
♪ ooh
♪ and many others
♪ 'cause you know what
we got is a rare thing ♪
♪ ooh, it's everlasting
♪ this love
is as strong as steel ♪
♪ can't break it up
or break it down ♪
♪ it's always
gonna be around ♪
♪ this love
is a love that's real ♪
♪ it's as deep
as any ocean goes ♪
♪ it's gonna last,
don't you know ♪
♪ this love's
strong as steel ♪
♪ mmm
♪ I wanna tell ya
♪ oh, baby
♪ we've been right here
for each other ♪
♪ even through the times when
times were hard for US ♪
♪ when it rained
we came through shining ♪
♪ oh, I knew we'd make it
all it takes is trust ♪
♪ and now there's nothing
♪ that could ever
come between me and you ♪
♪ oh, baby
♪ our love is one thing
♪ that just keeps on
getting better ♪
♪ the more
that we're together ♪
♪ this love
is as strong as steel ♪
♪ can't break it up
or break it down ♪
♪ it's always
gonna be around ♪
♪ this love
is a love that's real ♪
♪ it's as deep
as any ocean goes ♪
♪ it's gonna last,
don't you know ♪
♪ this love's
strong as steel ♪
♪ oh-oh, there ain't
no raging river ♪
♪ gonna sweep
this love away ♪
♪ gonna stand together
heart to heart ♪
♪ nothing's gonna tear
this love apart ♪
♪ this love
♪ ooh, baby
♪ This love's
strong as steel ♪
♪ this love's
strong as steel ♪
♪ can't break it up
or break it down ♪
♪ it's always
gonna be around ♪
♪ this love
is a love that's real ♪
♪ it's as deep
as any ocean goes ♪
♪ it's gonna last,
don't you know ♪
♪ this love's
strong as steel ♪
♪ strong as steel now,
baby ♪
♪ strong as steel now,
darlin' ♪
♪ strong as steel now,
honey ♪
♪ this love
♪ I want to tell you
♪ it's as deep
as any ocean goes ♪
♪ it's gonna last,
don't you know ♪
♪ this love
it's as strong as steel ♪
♪ can't break it up
or break it down ♪
♪ it's always
gonna be around ♪
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Ghost Dad (1990)
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