01x05 - Represent

[bunniefuu]

I had to admit,

it was intoxicating being

in the band.

I mean, just look

at these guys.

Since my breakthrough

at the pub, I was all-in.

We were Lady Parts.

I am alpha and omega ♪

I am Nintendo Sega ♪

I am Babylon, Iraq ♪

I'm Hackney after dark ♪

I'm a woman and

I am a creature ♪

A Madonna and the wh*re ♪

I'm the zombie queen,

I'll eat your brain ♪

I am the girl next door ♪

I'm a zombie queen ♪

I'll eat your brains ♪

Broken by the empire ♪

Raised by MTV ♪

Misfit of the motherland ♪

Still fish and chips

for tea ♪

Broken by the empire ♪

Raised by MTV ♪

But still it's fish and chips

for tea ♪

I'm the glint in

the milkman's eye ♪

I'm your mama when

you make her cry ♪

Existential, who am I? ♪

f*ck it, let's get high ♪

I float like a

fart in the air ♪

I stink like your dad,

don't care ♪

I'm the POC BAME DOA PTSA ♪

I'm a POC ♪

BAME ♪

DOA PTSA ♪

Broken by the empire,

raised my MTV ♪

But still it's fish and chips

for tea ♪

All right, lads.

I'm off.

- Ooh!

- Oi, oi, oi.

f*ck off.

Over the last few weeks,

Ayesha and Zarina had been

seeing a lot of each other.

And they had the selfies

to prove it.

I've supported the clothing

line since their inception.

"Inception."

Great film.

The way they combine textures

and colours,

it's just, like, ah!

It's hella magnifique.

You are gonna love it.

f*cking love textures.

Despite Ayesha's

frosty exterior,

when she fancied someone,

she had zero chill.

Hey, so are we, you know?

Are we what?

A thing?

I don't know.

Why not?

Things seemed to be

going well for Ayesha.

Oh, my God!

You look really beautiful!

And as for me,

I was successfully juggling

being in the band

while still being there

for Noor.

- Look at her.

- Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

- Noor?

- Noor.

- Wait.

- It's okay.

- Hey.

- Hey, you all right?

Yeah, yeah.

It's just, um,

what if this isn't right?

Listen to me.

You are Noor.

You're a trailblazer,

a trendsetter.

You march to the beat

of your own drum.

- I do?

- Yes.

It looks like

I'd learned something

from all those Saira

pep talks.

You are the strongest,

kindest person I know.

I see how happy

Imran makes you.

He's a sweet boo.

Broken by the empire,

raised by MTV ♪

But still,

it's fish and chips for tea ♪

You guys are amazing.

Literally the best thing ever.

We all had our dreams about

what Zarina's magazine piece

could mean for us.

Why be good enough when you

could be a success ♪

Why be good enough when you

could be the damn best ♪

You're gonna be a success ♪

You're gonna be a success ♪

Why be good enough when you

could be the damn best ♪

When you're different,

you have to represent ♪

Be better than the rest,

better than the rest ♪

Better than the rest,

better than the rest ♪

You're gonna be a success ♪

You're gonna be a success ♪

Why be good enough when you

could be the damn best ♪

When you're different,

you have to represent ♪

Be better than the rest,

better than the rest ♪

Why be good enough when you

could be a success ♪

I've never actually ever been

interviewed before.

Except this one time, for

the "Bacteria Digest Podcast."

Zarina said she wanted to get

under the skin of Lady Parts,

show the world

who we really were.

- Why do I wear a niqab?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, it makes me feel

closer to God,

which is obvs really nice

in these crumbling times.

But also wearing it

makes me feel confident,

like Queen Nefertiti

or Beyoncé.

So your husband's

an artist, too.

Yeah.

Well, he's a poet.

And he runs

these amazing poetry nights.

But by day,

he's a mortgage advisor.

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah.

- This is your manifesto.

- Yeah.

- Wow.

- Um, uh, yeah.

It outlines who we are

and what we stand for.

We're sisters who

pray together, play together,

speaking our truth to whoever

can be arsed to listen.

Amazing.

Yes, okay.

It seemed like Zarina really

got what Lady Parts was about.

Great, great, great, great.

Babe, you're amazing.

Oh, thank you.

But then,

at a certain point

I noticed you haven't

mentioned being in the band

on your Instagram, Facebook,

Twitter, TikTok.

Why?

What are you ashamed of?

I─um─

This is quite

a statement look.

Thank you.

Some people might think

you're doing it

for the attention.

So your husband prefers

that you don't work.

What?

No, no.

So you're choosing

not to work.

Well, yeah.

And is that you trying

to uphold

Traditional Muslim values?

What? No, no.

Traditional values?

Nah.

f*ck that.

I'm just─um, well,

Wasim and I, we, uh─

Luckily, Zarina's tough

questions were no match

for my intellect.

And I'm not ashamed.

I─I laugh in the face

of shame.

Shame is lame.

So you're saying

you have no shame.

What?

You mentioned

external oppressors.

So are you saying

the misogynistic forces

within the Muslim community

are oppressing you?

That's an oversimplification

of what I'm saying.

But it's part of what

you're saying.

Sorry, Zarina,

some of these questions,

they're a bit─I mean,

you're really working an angle.

Oh, hon,

I know what I'm doing.

You don't want this to be

just a puff piece, do you?

- No.

- What was going on?

Was Zarina just being

a thorough journalist?

It was hard to say.

she was Ayesha's girlfriend.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

And Ayesha had fallen hard.

You got kicked out

of the mosque?

Yeah, but it wasn't my fault.

This old lady

was going off on me

'cause my phone went off

during prayers.

Honest mistake.

Could happen to anyone.

It's just that my ringtone was

Slipknot,

and she kept going on saying

how the devil was in me,

and it deffo wasn't.

I was there to pray.

It's just that I forgot

to put my phone on silent.

So I acted in self-defence,

and I told her

to, you know, piss off.

You told an old lady

at the mosque to piss off?

She wasn't that old.

Okay. And where did the band

come into this?

Well, Saira was praying

next to me,

and she heard my phone go off,

and that's when she, you know,

popped the question.

"Will you be in the band?"

I said yeah.

I didn't play drums

at that point.

I learned on the job,

as they say.

Nice, nice, nice.

Okay.

And how does it feel

to be a q*eer, Muslim woman?

Zarina, you mind

if we don't go there?

Sweetheart.

Think of all the q*eer kids

who would feel so seen

if you just said

who you really were.

Plus, you're a punk.

Aren't you supposed to not care

what people think?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's okay, hon.

You are just not there

on your journey.

Gold teeth and a curse

for this town ♪

Were all in my mouth ♪

Only I don't know how ♪

They got out, dear ♪

Turn me back into the pet ♪

I was when we met ♪

I was happier then

with no mindset ♪

What's up, sis?

Happy birthday!

You're looking good.

You good?

Good, good.

I got your "NME."

You're welcome.

Mate, so much has happened.

Got a new guitarist,

who's dope.

Also

Lady Parts are gonna be

in a magazine, too.

Not like the "NME"

or the "Rolling Stone,"

but some online thing.

It's the new sh*t.

Apparently where it's at

these days.

Wish you were here.

Anywho, as promised,

here we go.

"Hole. The sweet revenge

of Courtney Love.

"Wednesday, the phone rings.

" 'I'm busted.'

" It's Courtney.

She hasn't called

for three years."

Godspeed all the bakers

at dawn ♪

May they all cut

their thumbs ♪

And bleed into their buns ♪

- Knock, b*tch.

- I did, b*tch.

- You're just deaf.

- What do you want?

Amina, is she seeing anyone?

If you f*ck with her heart,

I'll f*ck with your face,

understood?

Chill out, you psycho.

I just thought

she might want to hang out.

Interesting development.

Still, if you hurt her

even just a little

I know.

You'll gut me and use my

intestines as a skipping rope.

b*tch, I don't skip.

Still, do you know

what she might like?

No, man. She's into, like,

that white dad music.

Country and western,

rootin' and tootin' sh*t.

Taz?

Wait, what?

I'm coming.

Zarina's article had dropped

sooner than we thought

You okay?

And we were not ready.

I don't get what

the big deal is.

"The bad girls of Islam"?

Really?

"Haramed and dangerous"?

Zarina,

you've got to change it.

It's funny, it's catchy,

it's playful.

It's just like your music.

But we're not the bad girls

of Islam. You know that.

Yeah, we're thoughtful,

Muslim women of planet Earth.

- There's your headline.

- Wow.

It's just you're making us

out to be some kind of joke.

Mm, "Honour k*ll My Sister"

is pretty LOLs.

Listen to this.

"Lady Parts say 'f*ck you'

to both their religion

and the west in raucous frenzy

of unskilled guitar music."

Why would we be saying

"f*ck you" to our religion?

Also, unskilled guitar music?

What we're trying to say is

you're making us out

to be dickheads.

I don't understand

why you're kicking off.

I respected your wishes.

You asked me not to mention

your sexuality, and I didn't.

Could have, but I didn't.

And can I just ask,

when did I say

"f*ck traditional

Muslim values"?

I asked you

if you were trying to uphold

traditional Muslim values,

and you said, "f*ck that."

Yeah,

but there's a difference.

There's a lot

of nuance missing.

Nuance?

Wow. For a punk band,

you guys are seriously uptight.

It's not often we get

any kind of platform,

so you'll understand

we're not thrilled

about being misrepresented.

Okay. Wow.

This is really cute.

But let me explain something.

I have 1.2 million followers

because I understand

how to engage with an audience.

I built that following

from nothing.

You know what?

I don't need this.

I'm gonna go.

You guys are trending,

for God's sake.

You should be thanking me.

Zarina!

What just happened?

We're trending, all right.

Moon in the night sky ♪

How brightly she shines ♪

Blissfully unaware

of the article's release,

I was buried in coursework

and wrestling

with badly-behaved bacteria.

Come on.

This a bad time?

No, it's fine.

What's up?

Just wondering

how you're doing.

How are the microbes

and things?

The microbes and things

are doing really well, thanks.

- Growing up fast.

- They do that, don't they?

Have you finished your

coursework and everything?

Yep. Completed.

Handed in.

Geek.

Did you know there's a

Simon & Garfunkel tribute act

playing next week?

I know.

Bernie and Lars. I love them.

They do a stellar rendition

of "Me and Julio Down

by the Schoolyard."

Love, love.

So gutted I can't go.

- You can't?

- Nope.

I'm behind on my coursework,

the band are writing a bunch

of new songs, which is full-on,

and Noor's wedding prep

is mental.

- Sounds a lot.

- Mm.

Hey, Nora.

Thank you so much.

It's fine.

What do you need help with?

Uh, so─

You're busy.

I should head.

Uh, sorry.

Good to see you.

- As salaam alaikum, Mama.

- Alaikum salaam.

How are you?

Okay.

How's your hip?

You still doing the music?

Yes.

I thought─

I was thinking maybe

I could pop home for a bit?

If it's okay with you.

I totally understand if not.

It's not a good time.

No.

I have guests.

Right. Yeah.

What the f*ck?

Hey, hey. Sorry.

Just packing up.

So excited for Gosling Night.

Okay.

Thinking we start

with "La La Land"

for some serious jazz Gosling

in a nice suit,

followed by "First Man"

for that hit of

brooding, astronaut Gosling

we all love, and then we round

things off with "Drive"

for a cheeky bit

of ultraviolent,

salt-of-the-earth Gosling

we just can't resist.

What say you?

What's going on?

- You should sit down, Amina.

- Mm.

Okay?

You are in a punk band?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

This was not supposed

to happen.

How did they? How did they?

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Okay.

Oh, um, yeah.

I mean, it's just a new hobby.

Helps me blow off steam.

I don't know.

It's just a side thing.

- No big deal.

- Oh, no big deal.

Do you have any idea

what you've done?

I'm just the guitarist.

- Look.

- How could you do this to us?

After everything

we've been through?

Us?

What do you─

All the hate we get

as Muslim women.

Mm.

This is actually, like,

betrayal.

Mm.

Betrayal? Wait. Betrayal?

Wait, wait, wait. No, no.

This is wrong. This isn't us.

- Us? Is she for real?

- No, no. This isn't─

if you'd just listen to the

lyrics, the music, it's not─

Oh, I'm sorry,

are you actually

defending this twisted music?

Can't you see

what they've done to you?

- What?

- You've been tricked.

- Led astray.

- It says here that you wrote

a song called

"Bashir with the Good Beard,"

- because you were horny.

- Ugh.

Horny.

I literally cannot even look

at you right now.

You've been lying

this whole time.

- To my face.

- Mm.

My own best friend.

Right before my wedding.

It's like I don't even know

who you are.

How could I have been

so stupid?

Of course they were

going to find out.

Everyone was going

to find out.

What had I done?

What have I done?

Momtaz had called

an emergency band meeting.

I didn't feel I could face it.

But wasn't sure

where else I could go.

- Are you okay?

- You good, sis?

We got worried

when you didn't respond.

- What happened?

- We got snaked.

Where's Saira?

All right, lads.

Sorry I'm late.

Did you see the article?

Yeah.

I saw it.

Are we ready to rehearse?

I've written a song

that I think could really bang.

Saira, we thought maybe

we could talk about

- what happened with the article.

- No. f*ck that. Let's play.

Saira, we think maybe

we should put out a response.

This song will be

our response.

Saira.

I wanna f*ck a t*rror1st ♪

I wanna f*ck a t*rror1st ♪

I wanna f*ck a t*rror1st ♪

I wanna f*ck a t*rror1st ♪

Saira, that's not funny.

Saira, Saira.

Can we just talk?

If they think we're

the naughty girls of Islam,

desperate for attention,

let's give the people

what they want.

I wanna f*ck a t*rror1st ♪

They're sexy

and they're tough ♪

I love how they blow up ♪

- What does that even mean?

- Who cares what it means?

They'll see what

they want to see, right?

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! ♪

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! ♪

I hated Saira.

At that moment,

I just really hated her.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Bang! Bang! Bang! ♪

Stop! Stop it!

What's wrong with you?

I'm great.

You seem upset.

People hate the band.

They hate our music.

We're mocking Islam.

We're mocking our own people.

It's wrong.

Don't you understand?

You're wrong.

This is all wrong.

I'm sensing that you think

this is wrong.

I knew it, I knew it.

I felt it when I first

walked in this place.

All of it is wrong.

People hate us.

There you go again.

So obsessed

with what people think.

You need to get over it, mate.

Yeah, yeah,

I do care what people think,

'cause I'm a member

of this society.

I actually live on this planet.

There are consequences

for what we say.

Consequences.

You ever heard of that?

Mm-hmm.

You know what? I think

you like to piss people off

'cause you love

all the attention.

"Oh, there goes

poor, Miss Saira.

So misunderstood."

Noor is right.

Noor.

Ah, Noor.

Why don't you run off, then?

Like a good little lapdog.

f*ck Noor, and f*ck you.

No, f*ck you.

I quit.

Amina.

Amina, wait.

Saira, we didn't know Zarina

was gonna do that.

Please.

Let's hang out with this

f*cking great influencer.

Get all the likes

and all the followers,

and we can be famous, yay.

That was the master plan,

right?

Come on.

That's not fair.

All we had was our integrity,

and it's shot in the head.

We might as well have published

a nude photoshoot

with the caption, "Muslim sluts

want to get d*ck,"

and saved your influencer

friend the trouble.

Saira.

You're the f*cking

band manager!

And you gave all the power

of launching our band

to some internet hack.

I trusted you.

I trusted you!

Saira.

Lay off her.

Your lover girl

really f*cked us, didn't she?

You really didn't

see it coming.

All those cute dates

at galleries,

having mochaccinos and selfieing,

and you're telling me you

didn't know she was a snake?

Saira, please.

Hey, hey. Listen. Sis.

We understand you're upset.

The whole Abdullah thing.

So you're going through a lot.

Don't you dare shrink me.

Just inhale for three.

Find your Zen.

You know what?

I think you should find your

Zen, and shove it up your a*s.

Okay.

Did you even ever really care

about this band, huh?

How can you even say that?

You know what?

You can all f*ck off,

as far as I'm concerned.

f*ck this band!

- Saira.

- Please, just kindly f*ck off!