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02x08 - Final Exams

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "A Man on the Inside". Aired: November 21, 2024.*
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American comedy television series starring Ted Danson as a retiree-turned-amateur private investigator. It is based on Maite Alberdi's 2020 documentary The Mole Agent.

02x08 - Final Exams

Post by bunniefuu »

[gentle, intriguing music playing]

Ah. Morning. Did we have a meeting set?

No, but we needed to speak

with you immediately.

We believe we've solved the case.

Excellent!

Last night, we gained access

to this file called Project Aurora.

It's Brad Vinick's secret plan

to remake Wheeler College.

Humanities departments shuttered,

hundreds of faculty laid off,

historic buildings torn down.

There's only one person at Wheeler

who could have both known about this

and had a motive

to stop it from happening.

And that person

is you, Mr. Berenger.

[scoffs]

I Excuse me?

[scoffs] Guys, no. He's the one

who put the whole deal together.

Why would he sabotage it?

Well, that's what we couldn't figure out

until we read the file.

Here's our theory.

After you and Vinick shook hands

on the deal for his donation,

he must have told you

what he was really planning.

This whole school would become

a laboratory of efficiency,

churning out business

leaders, innovators

Right, but it'll still teach

music and theater, literature?

No, all that crap is history.

And so is history.

- [chuckles]

- We have any more champagne?

[Charles] You were worried

because you were trying to parlay

this splashy donation into a job

at Rycliffe University in Texas.

You'd already had several meetings there,

likely bragging about how well you'd done

at raising money here at Wheeler.

Problem was, if word

about Aurora got out,

the faculty and staff would revolt.

No university wants to hire a guy

who was chased out of his last gig

by an angry mob.

You needed time to land the job

and make your escape

before it all blew up in your face.

So, you created a fake account,

sent yourself a threatening email,

and stole your own laptop.

It was a false flag operation

to make you look like the victim.

You hired us to "investigate,"

hoping it would slow Vinick down.

But it didn't work.

At the portrait unveiling,

Vinick must have told you

that he was going full speed ahead

with the announcement of his donation.

You panicked, again,

threw the portrait in a garbage can,

and used the cigar

Vinick handed out that night

to delay the burning until you were

on stage, giving the introductory speech.

Perfect alibi.

This is insane.

None of this is true.

Except for the part about Rycliffe,

which is true. How'd you know about that?

Well, you've been spending

a lot of time in Dallas.

And you were in such a good mood

at Vinick's 50th reunion party.

Figured the deal must have gone through.

Okay, yes. I did take

a higher-paying job at Rycliffe.

And, yes, I knew that Vinick had some

"unorthodox" plans to reform Wheeler.

But I swear I had nothing to do

with the blackmail or the painting.

And also, why would I leak

my own sensitive information

to the campus paper?

To throw us off.

What matters is you are the only person

that knew about Vinick's plan.

No. Uh he's not.

Jack might be a craven,

self-serving buffoon.

But he could never

have pulled this off himself.

He's not nearly smart enough.

Thank you.

I know for a fact

that he didn't do it, because

I did.

[theme music playing]

- Well, I I'm confused.

- [Ben] Oh, of course you are.

Oh, by the way, I'm very impressed.

Through this whole thing,

I thought you were merely

a mediocre academic,

when in reality,

you're also a mediocre detective.

You How did you know

about Project Aurora?

Well, I knew the deal was getting close.

So I came by to speak with Berenger

about securing some money

for, uh, my department.

I waited in the hallway right here

that connects to Holly's office.

You're not gonna recognize anything

when I get through with this.

[Ben] That's when I heard Vinick

explaining what he had in store

for Wheeler College.

After they left, I searched

for some hard evidence of the plot.

Failing to find any, I stole the laptop,

I created the Wheeler Guardian account,

and sent the threatening email.

I had hoped it would be enough to force

Holly and Jack to cut ties

with Vinick for good,

but it was not.

So I left a more menacing note,

stole the portrait,

and then set it ablaze,

using Vinick's cigar,

which gave me some time to escape.

At least I got one thing right.

Yes, you did. Well done.

You're half as accurate

as a broken clock.

I can't believe you would do this.

But, Holly, I did.

And I can prove it.

President Berenger's computer.

And the fountain pen

that I used to leave the note.

If you'll examine it carefully,

you'll find that it has

a distinctive chipped nib.

Holly, they were bound

to find out the truth eventually,

and my career was going

to end one way or the other.

And now that I have confessed my crimes,

I resign from Wheeler College.

Effective immediately.

[melancholy music playing]

How the hell did they get

a copy of Aurora?

It hardly matters.

You clearly misled us and the board,

so they voted to reject your donation.

You don't get to reject me. I reject you.

- Okay, that's fine.

- I was trying to save this place.

Project Aurora would have churned out

millionaires and billionaires,

kids who make real money

in tech and business.

Maybe, but there are

a lot of schools for that.

Wheeler has a different mission

for a different kind of kid.

We value community

and knowledge for knowledge's sake.

[mockingly] "Community, knowledge!"

"We're smart and broke!"

God, you're pathetic.

Well, this week sucks!

First, my wife asked me

for a divorce, and now this.

- [sarcastically] I'm sorry to hear that.

- Thank you.

She's taking me to the cleaners.

She's asking for 200k a month.

And she's gonna get it

because she's prego,

and this country hates men.

The whole thing's a nightmare.

I mean, she's hot.

But she's not 40-million hot.

Out of curiosity, who is 40-million hot?

Kaia Gerber, Sydney Sweeney,

1988 Elle Macpherson,

and Vanna White

when she's facing the board.

Why am I the only good person

in the world?

[door slams shut]

Well. Wheeler College

owes you both a debt of gratitude,

which we literally have no way to repay.

Is the school gonna survive

without his money?

[Holly] I don't know.

But if we go under,

better to end on our own terms.

Does either of you have,

like, a rich, sickly aunt?

[Charles chuckles]

Worth a shot.

Well, you got the juicy case you wanted,

and you solved it.

What's wrong?

The perp just confessed.

I didn't really solve the case.

Oh, God. No, that's crap.

A win is a win.

Take the win.

Okay, fine.

You're right.

- I'm amazing.

- [both chuckling]

Oh, can you do the debrief tomorrow?

I have to go see my mom.

Her and Apollo just broke up,

and she's moving out.

Because she helped us?

No. No, no, no.

It's been in the works for a while.

Apparently, a couple weeks ago, he

said he wanted to have a baby with her,

and she was like, "I'm 67."

And he was like, "Age is just a number."

And she was like, "Not in this context."

- Yeah, probably for the best.

- Yeah.

[light music playing]

Already miss this place?

I do.

Well, I, for one, am glad you're going.

I have a job to do here, and seeing you

in that suit is way too distracting.

[Charles chuckles]

You heard about Ben?

Honestly, I wasn't surprised.

But he'll be remembered as a hero.

Want to get dinner?

Tomorrow okay?

Calbert's having surgery.

It's important I be there to support him.

[snoring]

[Calbert] Hey. Wake up.

- What time is it?

- 10:00 a.m.

You slept longer than I did,

and I had general anesthesia.

You missed C.J. He says to say hello.

Once I'm all healed up, we're gonna

go see some baseball in the spring.

I'm so glad I did this.

Well, I won't say I told you so

because I'm not a petty person.

[Calbert chuckles]

I thought you might bring Mona.

How's that going?

Good! Although we're entering

uncharted waters.

She and I won't be seeing each other

every day.

So I think I'm gonna cook her

my famous chicken piccata

and ask her to go away for the weekend.

I think that's a good idea. Go do that.

Oh, I'm I don't want

to leave you here alone.

I'm fine. Scram.

Why are you so eager to get rid of me?

- Am I interrupting?

- [Charles laughs]

Not at all.

Joy, this is my friend Charles.

He was just leaving.

Pleasure to meet you, Joy.

Not sure what you see in Calbert,

but otherwise, you seem lovely.

[Joy laughing] Likewise.

I asked Calbert out to dinner.

He took a spill to try to get out of it,

but I don't give up easy.

So this is our first date.

Not quite as romantic

as I was hoping it would be.

Oh, I disagree.

I already got you in bed.

You're half naked. [laughs]

This is fourth-date stuff.

[Charles chuckles]

I'll take good care of him.

I'm sure you will.

[Mona] Best chicken

I ever had in my life.

In 1970, Lavender Highway

did an East Coast tour with Santana,

and that dude could cook.

[Charles laughs]

Hey

I want to ask you something.

What if you and I

had a little adventure?

Went away for the weekend?

I'm thinking Carmel, may or, you know,

if we're feeling saucy, Monterey.

I have a better idea.

We're moving to Croatia for a year.

Wait, who's "we"?

"We" is us?

Yes! I am going

to Zagreb to teach a course

on Slavic influences

in California folk music.

Another professor dropped out

at the last minute,

so they offered it to me, and I said yes.

I leave in a week.

And you want me to go with you?

Just drop everything

and move to Croatia?

But I've got Emily and the grandkids

and my job with Julie.

I'm sure both of us could think of

a million reasons not to go.

But life is short.

We've both been to Monterey.

Have you ever been to Croatia?

No.

Well, neither have I. [laughs]

Sweetheart, we have more summers

behind us than ahead of us,

and I want to spend

as many of those summers as I can

having new adventures.

Screw it.

Let's go to Croatia. [laughs]

[Vanessa] Ugh. I give up.

I'm so bad at this stuff.

Apollo used to handle all of it.

We got this. We don't need him.

I mean, I never needed him,

but he was very sweet

and a great listener.

He tried to enter

himself into a dog show.

No, we went to a dog show.

He wanted to see

if he could run the course

faster than the Boston Terrier.

And he couldn't, and he was arrested.

- Fine, he was a loon.

- Yeah.

It's just, the older I get,

the more I appreciate companionship.

Well, I'm only 20 minutes away.

You have me now.

- I do.

- [uplifting music playing]

- Okay, get to it.

- Oh no, these don't make sense.

Come on!

Great, okay, yeah.

I'll speak with you soon.

Okay. Goodbye.

So I just got off

the phone with Holly,

and if I want it, the job is mine.

That's great.

I mean, I can't even believe

how perfect it is.

They don't want anybody full-time.

I was like,

"I don't want to work full-time."

And I get to take classes for free,

so it's like a win-win-win.

In a few weeks, I'll be raising

money for Wheeler College,

and then in a few years,

I'll be able to get

my master's in social work,

and become a therapist.

Big changes.

For both of us.

Yeah, I mean,

this is a bold move you're making.

It is.

Really is, yep.

[pensive music playing]

- Dad.

- Yeah?

Do you really want to move so far away?

I want to be with Mona.

You didn't really answer the question.

I know how incredible she is.

She makes you believe

that anything is possible.

She's a real force of nature.

- Never met anyone like her.

- Mm.

And I don't want to lose her.

But I also don't want to go to Zagreb.

I know.

We went to Santa Fe once.

You kept saying you couldn't get used

to the time difference.

[Emily laughs]

You know, a relationship can't work

if decisions are made out of desperation.

You need to talk to her.

Yeah, I know.

Thank you.

[indistinct chatter and laughing]

So that

that's where I stand.

Is there anything

I can say to change your mind?

I don't think there is.

I understand why you want to do this.

I love that you're the kind of person

who does this kind of thing

at the drop of a hat.

It's just that I spent

the last couple of years building this

whole new life for myself.

And I like that life.

I don't want to leave it.

[exhales] So there it is.

Wow.

I haven't been dumped since

the '70s.

I forgot what this feels like.

I don't like it.

[exhales] Okay, no more wasting time

on sad breakups.

Let's raise a glass

of Irish coffee and toast to our

former relationship slash

current friendship.

"Come what might,

she would be wild, untrammeled, free."

[Mona chuckles]

James Joyce, Ireland's greatest writer.

"When you know, you gotta let it go"

"'Cause the party ain't jumping

like it used to."

"Even though this might bruise you,

let it burn."

Usher, America's hottest man.

It ain't no use to sit

And wonder why, babe ♪

If'n you don't know by now ♪

And it ain't no use to sit

And wonder why, babe ♪

It'll never do somehow ♪

When your rooster crows

At the break of dawn ♪

Look out your window and I'll be gone ♪

You're the reason I'm a-traveling on ♪

But don't think twice, it's all right ♪

So, no pain at all anymore?

Eh, it gets a little sore

at the end of the day,

but all in all, it's a miracle.

Joy says when I'm done with PT,

we're taking a trip to Costa Rica.

- Ah!

- She wants to go zip-lining.

I told her I'd wait for her on the ground

where humans are supposed to be.

[Charles laughs]

I'm happy for you, buddy.

I know I said it before, but

thank you for pestering me

about the surgery.

For your next trick,

I need you to find a lady for yourself.

Someone smart and fun,

so the four of us can double-date.

Maybe someday.

I'm still working through

everything with Mona.

You miss her.

I do.

But I also know

that we weren't meant to be.

I mean, just two totally different

philosophies of life.

I look both ways

before I cross the street.

- She does cartwheels into traffic.

- [Calbert laughs]

Well, someday soon,

you'll find you're ready to try again.

Until then, third wheel it is.

[both laughing]

Maybe you could open a can of tuna,

set it inside her AC vent,

then park it back on the block.

I can do that.

[woman] Yeah.

You're going soft, Mars.

Ooh, that was a good one.

Yeah, it was. This show's great.

Are you still criticizing

her detective work?

- Her camera is too big. It's conspicuous.

- [Vanessa laughs]

Well, the girl

who plays Veronica is very winning.

She ever do anything else?

I don't know.

It's the first TV show

I've watched in 25 years.

Oh, when we're done with this,

Megan said that we need to watch

Pals

- Friends?

- Friends.

[laughing] Okay.

Okay, I have to go.

I'm doing that thing with Charles.

- I'll see you next week?

- Yeah.

Okay.

The client said her husband's there

at 7:00 p.m. sharp.

Relax, we have time.

I just gotta grab the file.

[all] Surprise!

What in the world?

Charles Nieuwendyk, by the power vested

in me by the State of California,

you are officially

a private investigator.

As of yesterday, you have enough hours

to get your license. Congratulations.

[cheering and whooping]

[Charles] Thank you.

Before I started working here,

I spent a lot of time alone.

My life got a whole lot richer

when I got out into the world

and started connecting

with people I care about.

[gentle music playing]

So thank you.

[cheers]

[all cheering]

[upbeat music playing]

All right, which one's better?

"I'm Charles Nieuwendyk, PI."

Or

"I'm Charles Nieuwendyk PI."

Number one. You do it all at once.

- Yeah?

- [Calbert] He's crazy.

The flip is the exclamation point.

It's like, "You thought I was just

Charles Nieuwendyk," and then, bam!

Yeah, he's right.

Forget what I said. Second one.

Okay, so from now on, it's gonna be,

"I'm Charles Nieuwendyk, PI."

[Joel] Cool.

Thanks for coming.

Of course.

One question, why did you invite me?

Because it means a lot

to Charles that you're here.

Oh.

And

Because I wanted to apologize.

As you remember from Thanksgiving,

I had a lot of emotional issues

that I hadn't dealt with.

I truly thought

I had it under control, but,

shockingly, I did not,

and it made me do some things

that were pretty hurtful and callous.

- And weird.

- And weird.

Yeah. But I'm getting better.

A work in progress,

but I'm getting better, and

I'm really sorry.

I accept your apology.

And I'm really happy

for you and your mom.

Ironically, you were kind of right.

When I asked you to do background checks,

I was actually playing a long game.

I hired you as an excuse

to spend some time with you.

- Really?

- [Didi] I don't know.

When you came to the café

after the Pacific View case ended

and you said those nice things about me,

I thought

maybe there was a vibe there.

[Julie] Wow.

So I just misread that situation

even more terribly than I thought.

Well, thanks for coming.

Really, dude?

I'm kidding.

Do you want to get a drink sometime?

- Yes.

- Good.

Told ya.

Okay.

[gentle music playing]

- [Charles] I miss this place.

- Gets under your skin, doesn't it?

Yeah, it really does.

How are the classes?

Ugh, kicking my butt.

Joel is such a godsend.

I get home late three nights a week,

so we made the boys a chore schedule.

Watching Jace try to load the dishwasher

is the highest form of entertainment.

But you're glad you took the job?

Oh God. Totally.

Everyone's so passionate.

My first week here,

like 20 people stopped by my office

just to ask if they could help me out.

It's like everybody has the same goal,

to make this school awesome.

It's genuinely moving.

You all right?

Yeah. You know, I just

figured something out.

Can I buy you a cup of coffee?

Yeah.

Charles, hi.

Wait, do you still work here?

I honestly forget.

Haven't been sleeping a lot.

Just visiting Emily. Thought I'd say hi.

How's Jack doing down in Dallas?

He's really taken to the city.

Don't mess with Texas!

[cheering]

Can I ask you a question

that's been bugging me about the case?

Oh. Sure.

I shouldn't have been surprised

when Dr. Cole confessed.

I mean, he loved this place so much,

he would have done anything to save it.

But there were other people

who loved Wheeler College that way.

I'm sorry, what are you implying?

Ben Cole took the fall for you,

Holly, didn't he?

What?

No, Charles, he did not.

I have no reason to blackmail Berenger.

I didn't even know

about this Project Aurora

until you and Julie

told me about it, after the heist.

You see, I don't think that's true.

I think that you found out

what Vinick was gonna do

to Wheeler College that first night.

I think you realized that no one person

was gonna be able to stop him.

In fact, I think there was

a whole group of people

who conspired to save Wheeler College.

But you were the ringleader.

And how do you know that?

I asked Julie to send me a scan

of the NDA that you signed

with Kovalenko Investigations

that day you walked into our office.

The pen you used had

a very distinctive chipped nib.

Wheeler lost $400 million

and one of its best professors.

There's no need to lose you too.

I'm not gonna say anything. I just

want to know how you pulled it off.

Um [clears throat]

Well, after years of courting Vinick,

flattering him, sucking up,

he and Berenger agreed to terms

and shook hands.

They were a little drunk.

Kelseigh was doing her thing.

- Baby, I'm taking off.

- Yeah, yeah, whatever.

[Holly] I was gathering

my things next door.

They didn't even notice I was there.

[Brad] Yeah, this place is gonna look

a lot different in a year.

[Jack] Ooh. La, la, la!

I don't want to hear it.

Plausible deniability.

You can do whatever you want

after this contract is signed.

That'll be the problem of whoever

takes this office after I'm gone.

This office?

I'm gonna knock this whole building down.

I'm gonna build myself

a primo podcasting studio.

Brad, please, stop. What I

You should be thanking me.

All these people should be thanking me.

Wheeler's a pit.

I can't wait to fire

all these useless professors,

tear this place down to the studs,

and build a real school.

[Holly] After they left,

I searched Jack's computer

for proof of Vinick's plan,

but I couldn't find it.

I needed to buy more time,

so I stole the laptop,

and I sent the threatening email to Jack.

So you don't want to call the police?

I'm being blackmailed.

We have to be able to control

the narrative here.

I say we hire a private investigator.

You know what? I have a great idea.

We're gonna hire a private investigator.

Great idea.

So you headed up the investigation

in order to keep tabs on us.

I was hoping that

you would uncover hard evidence

of Vinick's plan so I could leak it

to the board and torpedo the deal.

Why burn the painting?

What did Vinick say

that forced you to escalate things?

Well, actually, he didn't say it to me.

so if you'd like to thank anyone

in your remarks,

you should probably thank

the entire art department.

First of all, thanking people

is a sign of weakness.

And second, once I take over,

the whole art department is gonna be

[blows raspberry]

So you and your friends might want

to spruce up those résumés, sweetheart.

These mini empanadas are amazing.

Did you make these?

If you made these, you can stay.

[dramatic music playing]

Betsy, what are you doing?

Holly, he lied to us.

He's gonna fire me.

He's gonna fire all of us.

I know. And I'm trying to stop him.

Do you want to help me?

- Yeah.

- Good.

Okay. If anyone asks,

and they will, you say this

I just hope we didn't

scare that guy away.

I know we're suspicious

of corporate types around here,

but the museum could

really use his money.

Welcome to the resistance.

[Holly] At first, it was supposed

to just be me and Betsy.

She's the one who sent Julie

the text messages

from the Wheeler Guardian account.

But as things got more complex,

we needed more and more people.

Can you leak these documents

to the paper in a way no one can trace?

Oh, hell yeah.

- This is the best day of my life.

- Really?

Yeah, my life stinks.

Been living in my office.

Had to sell my motorcycle.

I carry the helmet 'cause it looks cool.

I get all my meals from the garbage.

Okay, we don't have time.

Just leak the documents.

You got it.

[Holly] Eventually, we had an entire team

trying to take down Vinick.

I don't know if Nieuwendyk

is coming to the James Joyce event,

but if he does, it's business as usual.

Keep an eye on him and see

if he seems suspicious of anyone.

[woman] And a reminder,

do not give me any details

about anything you have done so far.

I cannot and will not lie

if Julie or Charles questions me.

Your ethical code is sexy as hell.

It's not happening, Slavoj. Move on.

All that time,

questioning all those people,

trying to find the one

person who did it

Turned out they all did.

Mm, not all of them.

Mona was never involved

because you and she bonded so quickly.

And there was one other person

that I tried to keep in the dark,

but eventually

Tell me the whole story.

What are you talking about?

Nieuwendyk just chased Andrea

halfway across campus on a scooter.

And now the PI is grilling her

near the turtle pond.

And you have ten secret meetings a week,

and you haven't invited me

to a single one.

And, frankly, that hurts my feelings.

Now let me help you.

[Holly] I told him the whole story, and

he didn't say a word until I was done.

And then he asked me one question.

I assume you've

gotten rid of the evidence.

Oh yeah, it's safe.

I stashed the computer

and the pen in the old supply closet

in the basement of the science lab.

Good.

[Holly] In a million years,

I never thought he'd go get them

and do what he did.

He knew it was only a matter of time

before Julie and I realized

that Berenger was innocent.

Next logical person would've been you.

[Holly] Poor Ben.

This place was all he had.

He lives alone. He has no family.

Every day, I think about turning myself

in so he could get his old job back.

If you did that,

scandal would engulf the entire school.

Max, Betsy, Pamela you'd all be fired.

Ben did what he did to prevent that.

Now, the best way for

you to say thank you

is to stay here

and keep Wheeler safe.

[gentle music playing]

- You went here as an undergraduate, right?

- Mm-hm.

What did you major in?

Theater. [chuckles]

Well, you gave a hell of a performance.

[knocking]

[dryly] Ah, good.

Charles Nieuwendyk.

Nice to see you too.

Got a sec?

How's retirement treating you?

I wake up, I walk, I read my books,

I fall asleep, and I get up

and do it all over again the next day.

Have you spoken to Holly?

Rarely.

The last thing I want is to be a burden.

Although she did call me this morning.

She filled me in on

a few

recent developments.

I'm glad she's there.

In these troubled times,

Wheeler needs her, you know, steady hand.

[sighs] Mm.

Hm.

So, what brings you to my door, Charles?

I need you to do me a favor.

Deliver this for me. In person.

Oh, this is very cloak and dagger.

What's inside?

- Just a brief note.

- Mm.

- Why can't you do this yourself?

- Doesn't matter.

Just know the contents are important

and it needs to be delivered

as soon as possible.

Well, I

I suppose I do owe you one.

Consider it done.

Take care of yourself.

Goodbye, Charles.

I sincerely hope I never see you again.

I have a feeling you will.

[gentle, uplifting music playing]

- [sighs softly]

- [door closes]

[door opens]

Excuse me.

Are you Didi Santos Cordero?

I am. And you are?

Dr. Benjamin Cole.

A former colleague of mine

asked me to deliver this to you,

although I have no earthly idea why.

[Charles] "Didi, please

take care of Ben."

"He's a very stubborn professor,

and he needs your help. Charles."

Are you also a professor of engineering?

Oh, God, no.

No. I teach

Well, I taught English literature

until quite recently when I

Well, I

I'm retired.

Well, thank you for delivering this, Ben.

Sorry, do you prefer Benjamin or Ben?

I prefer Dr. Benjamin Cole.

May I ask what's in the note?

I have been looking for someone

to refurbish our library,

and Charles thought

you might fit the bill.

- Could I show it to you?

- Hm. Oh, yes, I suppose.

I do enjoy a nice library.

Ours is small by your standards,

but maybe you could help us improve it.

We could get a coffee on the way

if you like.

Or, actually, it's almost happy hour

if you want to stay for a bit.

[Grateful Dead's live recording

of "Not Fade Away" playing]

You know my love will not fade away ♪

You know my love will not fade away ♪

Not fade away ♪

So, how did everyone like the book?

What book?

I wasn't asked to read a book.

I was asked to read

The Hunt for Red October.

- You got a problem with my choice?

- [Ben] Several.

The plot is preposterous,

the dialogue juvenile,

and the sentence structure makes

Hemingway look like a Marcel Proust.

For Christ's sake, I can't do this again.

We get rid of one pompous professor

just to get another one right back in?

Did you like it or not?

I I couldn't put it down. [chuckles]

My heart was racing.

I mean, my God, what a ripping yarn.

And now the dust jacket suggests

Jack Ryan has further adventures?

Oh, yes, but don't read the books.

Watch the movies.

All the actors who play him are gorgeous.

Alex Baldman, Harriston Ford,

Jim Office

- Boston Batman

- [Ben] Oh, well, excellent.

Perhaps we should form

a cinema club as well.

No, Calbert will make us watch Caddyshack

for the millionth time.

It's a classic.

How are you in this book club?

You don't even live here.

Shoo. Begone.

You know, I think you and I

might get along after all.

["Not Fade Away" resumes]

Beat it, Jawbone.

I try to show you

♪ But you drive me back ♪

♪ Your love for me has got to be real ♪

♪ You're gonna know just how I feel ♪

♪ A love for real not fade away ♪

♪ Not fade away ♪

[instrumental bridge plays]

[song fades out]