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01x07 - Two Seconds to Midnight

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Iris Affair". Aired: 16 October 2025 – present.*
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British thriller television series.

01x07 - Two Seconds to Midnight

Post by bunniefuu »

This programme contains violence and

very strong language.

PYM: All I ask,

is for you to wake it.

Just long enough for me

to take just what I need.

This is about a child.

I sh*t you, Pym.

I sh*t you out.

Before things get too convivial

Show me the book. Your face in

the picture. Stick out your tongue.

Close your left eye.

I'm taking Joy home.

But I'm not giving you the book.

You don't have the right to do this

just because it frightens you.

It should frighten you, too.

Yes! -Yes!

-Yes!

(IN ITALIAN)

If you just wanna farm clicks

and call it journalism,

go ahead, do it.

After all this time in hiding,

Iris, why come forward now?

I need to leave behind a record

of what happened and why.

Fancy some breakfast? Yeah.

Charlie mustn't wake. (GASPS)

Can't believe we did it.

Keep thinking it's a trick.

Keep thinking I'm gonna look down,

be in my underpants

and then I'll wake up

and it'll be last Wednesday, and

everything will all still be sh*t.

OK, let's get this bit over with.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

(PHONE VIBRATES)

(EXHALES)

(SNIFFLES)

(PHONE DIALLING)

This is it? This is the password?

Technically, I think it's actually

an Activation Sequence.

Once it's decoded.

It's extraordinary,

isn't it, really?

All this for one line of characters

in the diary

of a seething great bedlamite.

Except he's a bit more than that,

isn't he? Or none of us would be here.

You know, you're absolutely right.

And I should say, Cameron,

this was very nicely played.

Well, it was all down to Joy, really.

I can't tell you what this means.

To me. My chairperson.

The entire executive, really.

It means "apologise to Joy for being

a bell end" is what it means.

(HELICOPTER WHIRS)

Cameron, when do you arrive?

Well, I think Joy's hungry.

We might stop off for breakfast.

Lovely. OK, well let me know

when you're close. Alright?

And, Cameron

thank you again.

Done!

(LIGHT DRAMATIC MUSIC)

SIOUXSIE SIOUX:

Here Comes That Day ♪

Oh, here comes that day

Here comes that day

Oh, here comes the rain

On your parade

There's a price to pay

For a life of insincerity

And you pretend

That it doesn't matter

And that you're not scared

Oh, here comes that day

Here comes that day

Oh, here comes the rain

On your parade. ♪

I suppose what happened is,

a few days ago,

I was basically kidnapped.

This bloke called Cameron,

he took us to this massive base.

There was a policeman

he was quite badly beaten.

I don't know his name.

ALFIE: (ON DEVICE)

Badly beaten by who?

I think they were

technically detectives.

(WHISPERS) Judas.

(g*n CLICKING)

Where is she?

She's over there.

(TENSE MUSIC)

Iris?

Did you know the oldest cave

paintings in the world are of a pig?

Uh No.

35,000 years later and

we are still drawing pigs on walls.

It's like we've got

this species-level compulsion

to store data.

Right. Are you OK?

Like, I mean,

'Marco and Roberta forever.'

Except they knew it wasn't forever,

right, otherwise,

why bother writing it down?

What they're actually saying was:

Marco and Roberta for not so long.

Marco and Roberta for one summer.

Or until Marco crashes his car

into a tree

or Roberta breaks his heart

and leaves.

Which means: "Marco and Roberta

were actually here."

They existed in this moment in time.

Because if they don't preserve it,

it would be carried downstream

into infinity

until it's gone forever.

That's the bleakest thing

I ever heard.

And I've got the early Cure albums.

They made a record of an event

that nobody would've known

about otherwise.

That's not bleak.

That's journalism.

You see?

That is actually

Yeah. Yeah, I can see that.

That makes sense, actually.

Good. Because it is time

to make your mark.

Two seconds To midnight.

Get the truth out there.

About Cameron. About Jensen.

Charlie Big Potatoes.

About the people who died for it.

And who k*lled for it.

Including you?

Including me. The whole truth.

Scorched Earth.

Upload it to your channel.

Get famous. Write a book.

And let someone else stop Cameron.

Police. Intelligence services.

Whoever.

What about you?

I don't matter.

I'm not having that.

Of course you do. Listen.

What these people are doing

is next-level dangerous

OK, and they need to be stopped. And I'm not

gonna be the one who does it. Not anymore.

So it's down to you now.

I failed, but you imagine.

Alfie was here.

(TENSE MUSIC)

f*ck it, then. -Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Let's do it.

(MUSIC INTENSIFIES)

(DOOR BUZZES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

So how long's this gonna take?

This is the bacterium

the password's coded against.

Five million base pairs

in the sequence.

We don't know the starting point,

so we need to brute force it.

Best estimate? Minutes.

Outstanding.

Except it's a two-level code.

-Meaning?

-We need to decipher the top-level first.

Work out what all the circles

and squiggles signify.

And how long will that take?

Hours. Days. Weeks? Who knows?

Fine.

I think I'll take Professor Lind

for some fresh air.

Maybe that will help.

(MUTTERS) For f*ck's sake.

(DOOR WHIRS OPEN)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(DOOR OPENS)

(GRUNTS)

Hello, you f*cking abomination.

(PANTING)

(SCOFFS)

What?

Just thought you'd be a vegetarian.

Why?

Cos you look like a vegetarian.

Why?

Cos you're wearing

vegetarian trousers.

That's so stupid.

(PHONE VIBRATES)

Is it her?

(PHONE VIBRATES)

Are you gonna answer it?

I don't know.

You're right. I should. Hello, Iris.

Just a second.

You should eat.

I feel a bit sick now, actually.

You chose a side.

It's not a coin you can unflip.

Sorry about that.

Can you hear me OK?

Well, you sound like a prick.

So I can hear you fine.

How are you?

You don't sound like yourself.

Oh, no, this is definitely me.

There's no getting away from that,

actually. How's Joy?

Oh, she's really good, she's having

breakfast in an Autogrill.

Oh, that sounds nice and normal.

I actually miss a bit of normal.

Me too.

You can't beat a bit of normal.

For what it's worth, I do wish

things had worked out differently.

Well, it's a big universe.

Somewhere it did.

Yeah, look at us (!)

All those realities and we get

ourselves stuck in this one.

Listen. The reason I'm calling.

Concession speech?

There's more that unites us

than divides us.

It's a far, far better whatever

than thingy?

You wish. Oh, dear, thought not.

I'm giving you an opportunity.

How exciting. To what?

Take an axe to the device.

k*ll it. Don't let it wake.

Or you'll what?

Hold your breath until you're sick?

I will destroy you.

Oh, for God's sake.

Listen to Shiva the Destroyer.

You know what happens

if you keep this up.

Bring it on.

And the people that helped you?

Nico Casterman? Alfie Bird?

Yes, I know their names.

What about them?

f*ck them.

But you know the Money runs on fear.

Which means punishing betrayal.

They'll go scorched Earth.

They won't just k*ll YouTube tosser

and the other one.

They'll m*rder their families. And

their friends. And their children.

They'll set fire

to their f*cking dogs

and impale their cats

on bamboo spikes.

Let them burn. And you too.

f*ck you all.

So that's how it is?

(GRUNTS)

How is she?

Oh, she's a funny old sausage,

is Iris.

She doesn't feel things

the way the rest of us do.

She can make you believe she does,

but she doesn't really.

So you mustn't feel bad

about upsetting her.

I think she's basically

un-upset table.

She thought that it was funny,

in a weird way.

She was laughing about it.

She says "hi", by the way.

Yeah.

I don't know!

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

(BIRDS TWEETING)

(VIDEO WHIRS)

What happened over the last few days

is I was basically kidnapped.

This bloke called Cameron,

he took us to this massive base.

There was a policeman,

he was quite badly beaten.

I think they were

technically detectives

but well, most of the blood

was theirs, so

What?!

(IN ITALIAN)

First patient, pull out the skull

Remove the cancer ♪

Wake up, Nico.

I heard what she said to him.

"f*ck them!

Let them burn!"

She was lying!

It's It's her thing!

It's It's how she does stuff!

It doesn't matter

if she was lying or not.

Because Cameron Beck wasn't.

So that's it?

Yeah, we we just sod off home,

have a Pot Noodle?

Forget any of it ever happened?

Charlie Big Potatoes.

m*rder*d scientists!

Corrupt police! Cameron bloody Beck?

Nobody's forgetting anything.

Because Teo is dead

and I'm going to make sure the

right people are punished for it.

But we need to do it the right way.

Being what?

We contact Interpol.

We need to provide evidence

that's on your laptop.

Footage of Joy Baxter making

her statement about Teo.

Her abduction by Cameron Beck.

That kind of evidence buys us

government protection.

Interpol will bury it,

we have got a duty.

People need to know!

They will. In time.

When due process has run its course.

And who gets to tell them?

I see.

It's all about the clicks.

Oh, f*ck the clicks!

This is real!

And it And it matters!

They'll k*ll you for it, Alfie.

Does it matter that much?

We need to get that laptop

to Interpol. Now!

So we will have the device

operational in a day or two at most.

So all that silence and sacrifice

brought you nothing

but a lot of torment and

a little time.

Of course, you can save me

a few precious hours.

Give me the activation code,

Professor Lind.

The little girl

is running out of time.

Wake the device, Jensen.

Help me do what has to be done.

(SNIFFLES)

You think it will serve you.

At first, it will appear to.

It'll seduce you

by giving you what you long for

until the day comes

when you realise

you are serving it.

I'm trying

to protect us.

(BREATHS DEEPLY)

(TENSE MUSIC)

No.

No. No. No.

No. No!

Clear. Three, two, one.

We're going for another cycle.

Three, two, one.

(COUGHING)

(WHEEZING)

So now you know how it feels to die.

What did you see?

Nothing.

Really? No communion with the dead?

No wife and child beckoning you

into the beyond?

Good.

Because I'm not just gonna k*ll

you once, Jensen.

I'm gonna k*ll you

over and over again.

I'm gonna k*ll you every day.

I'm just gonna keep k*lling you

and k*lling you and k*lling you

until you kiss my feet

and beg me to let you stay dead.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

MAN: (ON RADIO) Alpha Six,

you are clear to land on Blue Alpha.

JOY: What's going on?

I don't know.

I mean, is everything alright?

I think probably no.

Because it doesn't look alright.

(TENSE MUSIC)

Oh, don't be silly.

What's all this bollocks?

Oh, the device is our property,

Cameron,

so my first priority

should be its safety, no?

Yeah. No-one's going anywhere until

we've ensured that everything is

as it should be. May I?

Mm-hmm.

Do you have any idea of the trouble

you've caused us?

You strutting sh*t c**t?

Actually, do you know what?

Leave him! Joy! Stay back.

Let him go!

Get off him.

Joy!

Excuse me!

Just. f*cking. Don't!

Let's go inside, then, shall we?

Lock them in the maniac's suite.

Are you OK? Uh-uh.

(ENGINE REVS)

(IN ITALIAN)

(MUFFLED MUSIC)

How much longer? It's not far.

(ENGINES REVVING)

sh*t What? What?

Can you hear that?

f*ck, Alfie take this.

Up, up, up, up, up!

We need to call a truce.

Bruni has found us.

Yeah. Truce. OK. Good idea.

Come on.

Stay still.

Hey. Hey. Stop it, please!

Hey! Come on, stop!

(IN ITALIAN)

Laptop. Come on!

What is happening?

(IN ITALIAN)

How'd they find us?

Alfie, run!

(ENGINES REVS)

What do you thinks happened to him?

Jensen?

I don't know.

He's probably alright, more or less.

What about me and you?

Oh, we'll be fine.

Don't be scared.

One day soon

you'll look around and you'll find

yourself living your old life.

And all this will be something

you don't talk about,

you don't really even think about.

And because you don't talk about it,

or think about it,

it'll become less and less real.

Till the time comes,

when you're my age

then it's just something

half-remembered

that bubbles up in bad dreams.

I can't imagine being your age.

Nor can I.

Does it hurt? Oh, God, yes.

I haven't been in a fight

since I was nine.

This is all her fault.

Iris.

Well, up to a point.

To be fair, I think she was only

doing what she thought was best.

In her funny little way.

I don't understand,

why she's so scared of it.

Charlie.

She's scared the universe

might be more beautiful

than she can tolerate.

Who'd be scared of that?

Everyone, I think.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(ENGINES REVVING)

Stop, I'll sh**t!

Guys. Guys.

We've gotta stick together.

Nico, please.

(IN ITALIAN)

OK, come on

Stay close. Ready.

Get down!

Go! Hide.

(IN ITALIAN)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Two bars. We should call the police.

They are the police.

So what do we do?

Iris, there must be something.

Oh, sh*t. (g*n c*ck)

(PANTING)

Did you mean those things?

What things?

The things Nico heard you saying

in the aqua park.

I don't know. Probably. I mean,

what does "mean" even mean?

I don't think you meant it.

Not really.

I think you were angry. Yeah.

Yeah. We've all said things

when we were angry.

I'm so sorry, Alfie. I should never

have dragged you into this.

I should have just done it alone.

You couldn't have done it alone.

Well, it turns out,

I couldn't do it at all.

So that's it? They get away with it.

Cover it up, bury us in a ditch?

I don't think they're gonna bother

with a ditch.

(IN ITALIAN)

(TENSE MUSIC)

At least I was right about you, though.

You were 100% real.

Still am. For a few minutes, anyway.

Iris was here!

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

sh*t! sh*t!

Two bars! And you actually are here!

Two bars and I'm here what?

Two bars and you're here live

with 80,000 followers!

We can live stream. sh*t.

Let's do it.

OK.

This is Two Seconds To Midnight.

And I'm Alfie Bird.

I'm here with Iris Nixon.

And we need your help.

sh*t. I've got sh*t signal.

f*ck, come on.

Yes.

Right, Ir Iris and I are

Well, we don't know exactly where

we are, but we are being hunted

by corrupt police officers who want

to k*ll us to stop the truth coming out.

They are working for a man

called Cameron (g*nsh*t)

(g*nshots)

(IN ITALIAN)

(SCREAMS)

(SCREAMS)

(g*nshots)

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(BIRDS TWEETING)

There's enough evidence

on the laptop in here

to buy you official protection.

But lay low for now.

Till when?

Until I finish it.

(ENGINE STARTS, REVS)

Hello, Cameron.

This is Two Seconds To Midnight.

And I am on my way.

(MONITOR BLEEPING)

(CHIRPS)

We got co-ordinates.

(KEYBOARD CLICKING)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(EERIE WHIRRING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(CRIES)