01x18 - Alro

[bunniefuu]

It's original ♪

Like me.

[opening theme music plays]

[Arlo] We all need

Someone to hold us up ♪

To help us on

We make each other better ♪

Though the world's not always right

Tough times, they can make us strong ♪

We all belong

We're beautiful together ♪

We're beautiful together ♪

[dramatic sting]

- [Arlo and Bertie] Hmm

- I'm just not seeing it.

A rich guy who has everything

stealing a package from his son?

- Doubtful.

- Sam the music man?

- [Bertie] Hmm No motive.

- Gordon?

- [Bertie] I don't think he exists, Arlo.

- Ugh!

Who took my package?

Maybe no one took it.

Maybe the package just got misplaced.

No way!

We've got a package thief.

Hmm It's the only explanation.

Edmee sent all these packages to me

because she loves me,

and I was so busy with Seaside

I couldn't even

take a moment to be grateful.

Oh, sweet Edmee,

not even thinking twice

about taking me in as an orphan.

She's the gentlest woman I know.

- [punch lands]

- [dramatic sting]

Unless you're a bear

trying to steal a picnic basket.

Edmee, how am I going to

track the package down

- and get the message you were sending me?

- [punch lands]

[bear groans]

- Rickety-biscuit! That's it!

- What is?

We're going to find Edmee's package

like Edmee would.

- By fighting a bear!

- Nope.

- [in deep voice] By gettin' tough!

- You? Tough?

[in normal voice] You're skeptical.

I like that in a partner.

[twinkles]

[glasses clack]

[squeaks]

[in deep voice]

Let's go shake down Seaside

[uncertainly] and

shake loose some lies. Yeah.

[scoffs] Okay, if that's

what you feel you need to do.

You want me to pack us a little lunch?

[in normal voice] Yes, please!

[in deep voice] No crust on mine.

Everything for the Un-condemning

must be absolutely impeccable.

Good day, Arlo!

Whatever, pops!

[chuckles] Teenagers.

Excellent angst, son.

- Proud of you.

- Okay, Ansel, what's the emergency?

Ah, yes, I need your opinion.

Which do you think

should be our official topiary,

- dolphin or porpoise?

- [dolphin chirps]

- [porpoise squeaks]

- [Ansel] Hm?

You know,

you don't need to come up with these

complicated reasons just to see me.

Uh, I don't know

what you're talking about.

[chuckles] I don't want to see you at all.

- I mean, I do want to see you. I

- I like the porpoise.

Thank you for your input! [scribbles]

[rag squeaking]

Are you sure tough is the way to go?

- [punch lands]

- [dramatic sting]

I'm sure.

- [hacks, spits]

- [groans]

- [Arlo chuckles]

- [whimpers]

[Marcellus humming]

- [grunts]

- [thuds]

Hey, thanks for helping

with the clean-up, kid.

What can I get you?

I ain't here for libations.

I got bigger fish to fry.

Whoa. Okay, no need for adult language.

What do you need to know?

A package went missing the other night.

You see anything

- [splats]

- suspicious?

Kid, everything I do is suspicious.

Well, did you see

anything suspicious last night?

Come to think of it,

I did see Tony walking alone.

A clue!

Yeah, he had his back to me,

and when I said, "Yo, Tony! What's up?"

He didn't say

[imitates Tony] "Nothing but

the price of mozzarella" like usual.

Instead, he just ran off!

Tony's hiding something.

I don't want to get ahead of myself,

but I bet it rhymes with "mackage."

[dramatic sting]

Oh, good.

Now, how about some fresh fountain water?

Fair warning,

I might have definitely peed in it.

Oh! Thank you!

- Ugh!

- Nope. Nope. Nope.

Oh, right. [in deep voice] Tough.

- I ain't got time for no tea party.

- [clatters]

Time to give Tony a teeny, tiny shakedown.

[chuckles nervously] Thanks

for your help, Marcellus.

Mmm. Come on, Bertie. Be helpful.

[groaning]

Ugh. Nope, that's pee.

You're cleaning up anyway, right?

[chuckles] Thanks again for your help.

[Tony] Eat-a pizza every single day ♪

- Eat-a pizza ♪

- [door chimes]

Every single day ♪

What's up, Tony?

Nothing but the price of mozzarella!

What do you need, Arlo?

I'm very busy staying behind this wall

while I rebuild it on account of

somebody wrecked half the neighborhood!

[in deep voice] Don't try

and turn the spotlight on me!

A little fish told me

you were up to no good last night!

Marcellus just said

he was a little worried about you.

[Tony] What is this?

Some kind of interrogation?

- [tense music builds]

- Mm?

- Hmm.

- [Tony gasps] Wha?

[shuddering] Arlo! Not that!

[Tony] Leave the slices out of this!

Mm. Mm.

[splats]

[Tony] You monster!

That was a family size!

- [humming] Mm-hm-hm-hm.

- [Tony] Don't!

[grunts]

- [splats]

- [Tony crying] What have you done?

- Just tell him what he wants to know!

- Okay, I'll talk!

[dramatic sting]

[gasps] Oh!

You happy?

Teeny Tiny Tony's got a big, bushy secret.

I was supposed to have my

weekly mustache trim with Furlecia.

Only thing is Furlecia never showed.

Probably because

she was out stealing my package!

- Why would Furlecia want to steal your

- No time for that! Edmee needs me!

Hey, I heard a commotion.

You got a problem here, boss?

Nah, kid. Not anymore.

Go back to hiding

my stacks of forged cash

Ooh, I mean my stacks of earned cashews.

- [dramatic sting]

- [light clunks, buzzes]

Uh, excuse me,

but my hair can only be exposed

to 36 minutes

of full spectrum light per day, max!

Better. What did you want?

[in deep voice] I got a hot pizza tip that

you flaked on an appointment last night.

Maybe life got a little hairy

At first I thought, "Gee,

maybe this is another one of Furlecia's

so-called radical acts of self-care",

which of course is the perfect alibi

for crime!

I couldn't possibly know

what you're talking about!

I'm warm. Is anyone else warm?

[in deep voice] We got ways

of making people talk.

[squeaky wheeze]

[gasps] You keep that dollar-store

mustache comb away from me! [screams]

Tell me why you took that package,

or I'll split those ends

down to the follicle!

You wouldn't dare!

Tell him, Furlecia!

I've seen what he's capable of!

I don't know anything about a package!

I canceled Tony's appointment

because I had to fix up the salon

after the Bessie Wheel incident,

and you should know that!

Why do you think we're in the back room?

[dramatic sting]

[door crashes open]

[pants] Edmee!

Wait!

You okay?

[yelling] I will never

financially recover from this!

[inhales deeply, sighs]

Okay, I'm fine.

[Arlo] I'd gone through

everyone in Seaside,

and still, it felt like I was missing

something or someone.

Arlo, who are you talking to?

No one.

Look, I get that

you're worried about Edmee.

But is accusing your friends

of being thieves really helping?

I think we should refocus on Seaside,

get things back on track

for the Un-condemning Party

Trying to throw me off the trail, huh?

Maybe I'm getting a little too close

to breaking the case.

I think I found my next suspect!

[gasps] How dare you?

If you're gonna accuse me,

at least draw me cute.

[dramatic sting]

I can't believe you would accuse me

after I spent the day helping you.

I'm so disappointed in you, Arlo.

Fine! Who needs you?

The only thing I need is a suspect.

[thuds softly]

Unfortunately, I've already accused

everyone I know in Seaside

and gotten nowhere with it. Hmm.

An ancient saying dictates that the perp

is always the person you'd least suspect.

- [playing police procedural music]

- [pigeon cooing]

He's much too suspicious to fit the bill.

But who do I suspect the least?

[gasps] That's it!

- [light buzzing]

- You!

[whimsical music playing]

[gasps in regular voice] What?

No! It can't be me.

Ah! The culprit is always

the one you'd least suspect.

No, I love Edmee.

I want to find the package!

Plus I've been with you all day.

Excellent point.

- Still, I can smell the guilt on you!

- [funky music plays]

What? No!

You got so caught up

with your new home in Seaside,

you completely missed

all the signs Edmee was in trouble.

- No!

- She tried to tell you,

but you let her package get stolen!

[stammers] I'm trying to find it!

[in deep voice] How? By accusing

your closest friends of being thieves?

That's not like you, and you know it.

I know. I haven't been myself at all.

It's all my fault.

Who are you?

I'm just me.

- [melancholy music plays]

- And I'm alone.

[doorbell rings]

If you're looking for

a sweet and happy alligator boy,

he doesn't live here anymore.

I mean, technically he does,

but is it really living with no friends

or loved ones to [gasps]

- Wha?

- Thanks! I forgot my keys.

[gasps] Bertie! And Edmee's package!

[sighs] I'm so sorry, Bertie.

- Is sweet Arlo back now?

- [in high voice] Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!

[chuckles] Good. I missed you.

How did you find the package?

I just went to check

with Thao the mail carrier.

You know, funny thing is,

the package was made out to Alro.

He lives down the block.

Hey, yo, ay!

Who saying my dang name out there?

[woman] Alro! It's my time

to use the listenin' window!

I got five more minutes out here, Bortie!

It's good to have regular Arlo back.

Now, let's find out what Edmee has to say.

[box wheezes]

[gasps] It's a ransom note!

"Dear Alro, we goat Edmee"

"and we wants a ransom!"

You can't just say "a ransom."

- You gotta be specific!

- Oh, oh, right!

"And we wants a pony"

Money! Ask for money!

So I can buy rhinestones

and put 'em on armadillos!

"We would like a ransom of money

- to support Stucky's expensive habits."

- [twinkles]

"Please deliver it to Edmee's shack"

"in the swamp.

Forever yours, Ruff and Stucky!"

"P.S. Thank you

for teaching us that life lesson."

"We've already forgotten it.

You have 24 hours!"

What do we do?

Well, if I was kidnapped,

Edmee would stage a one-woman rescue

and mop the floor with them.

But the Arlo way would be

to get help from my friends.

Except I've been so awful to everyone,

who would help me?

[Tony] Oh, please!

If a crusty mood

is all it takes to end a friendship,

I would've been alone since birth!

Small Tony!

Nothing but the price of

Oh, I mean, hello.

Nothing can stop us now!

We're gonna need supplies.

Rope, snacks, a boat.

Wait! If we all go,

then who'll stick around to make sure

the Un-condemning goes smoothly?

[ship bell rings]

[Ansel] Good luck, son!

I won't let you down!

Uh There is no way

you can handle this without me.

- And I won't let you down, Edmee.

- [gentle music plays]

See you soon.

[closing theme music plays]